It’s good to be a confident person, and not just good, but very good, and at the same time pleasant, profitable, interesting and quite promising. Confident people achieve great success in this life, because their confidence allows them to be quite active people in life and act in situations in which insecure people prefer to remain inactive. Unfortunately, not many people have self-confidence, and not because we are born confident or insecure people, but because, due to various circumstances, we become who we become. Hence the prevalence of this problem - the problem of self-doubt, because most people become insecure people rather than confident ones, they are depressed and downtrodden, they are morally weak and cowardly, and it is difficult for them to live with all this. Many people are dissatisfied with themselves because they feel, and less often understand, their insecurity, while feeling their weakness.

But I hasten to assure you that no matter how you have been molded until now, you can certainly change for the better, in the direction you need. You can become a more confident person if you take the time to put some effort into working on yourself. A person can always change, it’s just a pity that he doesn’t always want to. Nature created man in such a way that he could adapt to any conditions and achieve any goals, so if a person wants, he can. High self-esteem and self-confidence are not permanent personality traits, high self-esteem may decrease, and self-confidence may simply disappear. Life, friends, can break anyone. But not everyone agrees to break. Well, since something can disappear and decline, it means that something can appear and grow, one cannot exist without the other. So, don’t lose heart, under no circumstances, because everything about you and me is fixable, no matter what anyone says. If you have a problem with self-confidence, then after studying this material, rest assured, you will definitely cope with it.

And first, let's find out what confidence is. Confidence is faith, the firm, flawless, unshakable faith a person has in someone or something. And when we talk about self-confidence, we are talking about a person’s faith in himself. Friends, believing in yourself is, in fact, absurd. Below I will explain why. But the discomfort that we experience due to our lack of this stupid faith, it is really real and we can feel it, and we, of course, would like to get rid of it. I would call what we used to call self-confidence - self-understanding, and uncertainty - misunderstanding. So if you are not confident in yourself, then your problem is that you simply do not understand yourself. You don’t know or understand yourself, you don’t know all your capabilities, and you also don’t understand how our world works. Otherwise, you would not doubt yourself at all, the only person in this world whom you should and can trust unconditionally.

Now let's answer another question - why do we need to be confident people, why do we need to know about our capabilities and understand ourselves? I have already said above that a confident person is capable of achieving much greater results in life than an insecure one. What can I say, self-doubt generally deprives a person of any chance of success, it makes him mediocre and inconspicuous, capable only of obeying other people’s orders. Insecure people are losers. And you don't want to be a failure, right? So, the question of why you need self-confidence is a stupid question. You want to be a winner, not a loser! You want better life, not a miserable existence! You want success, not failure! You want to express yourself, you want to succeed in this life as a person, and not be a gray, nondescript spot all your life, the disappearance of which no one will even notice. You want to be a person, not a function, not consumables. This is why you need to be confident. That's why you need to understand yourself and know about the possibilities that are hidden within you.

Well, now it's time to ask yourself the most important issue– how to become a confident person? This can be done either through emotional sphere, pumping up your psyche and raising your self-esteem with the help in various ways self-hypnosis, but you can also through awareness come to a state of self-confidence. In the first case, the result is achieved quickly, but it is not stable and short-lived; a person who supports his confidence with emotions can go out just as quickly as he lit up. Therefore, I do not seriously consider all these psychological pumping, all these suggestions and self-hypnosis, aimed exclusively at a person’s subconscious, although they have an effect, this must be admitted. For me, only a person’s complete understanding of who he is and what he is will allow him to once and for all gain self-confidence and, regardless of external circumstances, remain confident until the end of his life. Likewise, it is worth saying that no external factors should not affect a person’s self-confidence, own strength and opportunities, outside world should not shape our inner world; on the contrary, it is our inner world that should shape the outer world. But it is not easy to achieve this, this is understandable, it is hard and long-term, disciplined work on oneself, the result of which is only possible if a person approaches it seriously and responsibly, if he really wants to gain real, impeccable self-confidence.

Thus, understanding that in order to gain self-confidence, we need to know and understand ourselves well, and not just engage in self-hypnosis, since this is less effective way make yourself a confident person, especially on long time, then let's get back to understanding what confidence is. The word “confidence” comes from the word “faith,” as we found out. What is faith? This is the recognition of something as true, something that does not need any proof for us. And when we talk about self-confidence, are we talking about the faith of whom and in what, or better yet, about the faith of whom and in whom are we talking? We are talking about our faith in ourselves, not in something ephemeral, but in ourselves, in ourselves. Do you need proof that you, a person, an individual, exist? I'm sure they are not needed. You deal with yourself every day, you don’t need to prove to yourself that you exist. What then do you need to prove to yourself? Oh, yes, opportunities, you rightly doubt that, unless of course you are unsure of yourself, that is, you don’t believe in yourself, that you can do something, that you are capable of something. Well, you have reasons not to believe in it, but, you see, friends, you can check it. You can check what you can do and what you are capable of. What needs to be done to check this? It is necessary to act! Do you agree? You must act, you must be an active person in order to know exactly what you are capable of and what tasks you can do and what you cannot. No activity, no real action, you will never know what possibilities are hidden within you and what you can achieve with them.

Let’s say I don’t know whether I can, say, succeed in mathematics and become a good mathematician or not. Judging by the results of my work, I turned out to be a good psychologist. In any case, I try very hard - I work and study a lot to be a good and even first-class psychologist, if possible the best. And I will definitely become the best! How could it be otherwise, it wouldn’t do otherwise. But as for mathematics, I don’t even know for sure whether I can or cannot succeed in it. But you know what, I’m deceiving you a little, to be more precise, I didn’t know whether I could or couldn’t succeed in mathematics until I won the math Olympiad at school. I knew mathematics well then, it was easy for me, and that’s why I won this Olympiad. Then, as far as I remember, I still won something, but I don’t remember what exactly, because I didn’t attach all this to my victories of great importance. I just participated in various competitions when I was good at school, just because the teachers asked me to. But these competitions, and my victories in some of them, including the Mathematical Olympiad, seemed absolutely meaningless to me; I did not see any benefit in them for myself. In general, there was no such benefit. The benefits come not from fictitious competitions, but from those that we have to face in life. But life tests people in its own way.

So, before I achieved fairly modest success in mathematics, I did not know what I was capable of. But I found out when I achieved a real result, I achieved it with hard work, I’ll say right away, but I achieved it. Although mathematics was easy for me, to win the Olympiad I needed to study it thoroughly. Which is what I did. After achieving a certain result, through effort, discipline and patience, and not through talent alone, I no longer needed to believe in myself to understand that I could actually achieve the goal I had set for myself if I put in the necessary effort. You see, I already knew what I could achieve by achieving this. You need to take action to increase your self-confidence. By gritting our teeth, overcoming pain, suffering failures, we move forward, achieving our goals and becoming more confident in ourselves. By acting, we turn our dreams into reality, fairy tales into reality. We kill our self-doubt with our activity! After all, your lack of self-confidence, friends, originates from your reluctance to do something - from your laziness. And your reluctance to do something, your laziness, in turn, originates from your fear of this or that action. And your fear, friends, originates from your lack of understanding of something that you are afraid of. So ask yourself – what exactly are you afraid of? Really themselves? Are you afraid that you won’t be able to cope with some task that you have never done before, with some difficulties that you have never encountered before, do you doubt that your capabilities are as limitless as those of other people? Come on, it’s certainly great to consider yourself an exception, but not to the same extent. You need to think better about yourself and not be afraid of your own powerlessness. You can do everything that other people can, and all you need is to just start acting, according to a certain algorithm, of course, but the main thing you need is action. Commit it.

Thus, we should not be talking about self-confidence, forget about faith, but about a person’s understanding of himself, through his testing of his capabilities in this or that matter. Why should we believe in ourselves, that we watch ourselves on TV, or what? We are here and now, we don’t need faith as such, we only need to understand which qualities we currently have are well developed and which are poorly developed. If you are physically weak, then you are unlikely to lift a heavy barbell; you will agree, this is logical and natural. It is also logical to assume that you will not learn to ride a bicycle the first time, because if you have never ridden it before, then at least once, but you should fall off it, at least for the sake of decency. And so in all matters. You friends, you need experience to believe in yourself, to understand your capabilities, to get used to yourself and your capabilities. It is believed that predominantly positive experiences contribute to gaining self-confidence, but if you are an intelligent person, then negative experiences will also benefit you because they will help you understand a lot. Just think about how great it is to make mistakes when you do something. You will immediately learn what not to do, you will learn the laws of the universe through trial and error. Positive experience gives you one idea about life, and a negative experience gives you another, and as you yourself understand, it is better to see and understand the whole of life than just a separate fragment of it. Therefore, even if you are lucky and you get lucky all the time and you never make mistakes, or you do nothing to avoid mistakes and failures because you are afraid of them, then it is absolutely necessary for you to make mistakes and fail, well, at least once. You really need this to become more mature and wiser, to diversify your life, in the end. Act, make mistakes, fail, fall in order to rise, so that through mistakes and failures you can pave your way to success. There is nothing to believe in here, you just have to take it and do what you need to do. So what kind of uncertainty is there that prevents you from doing something, what kind of fear do you not understand? You have nothing to fear and no reason to be afraid, your fears and insecurities are an illusion, this is your fantasy.

We can approach the issue we are considering from the other side, and for this we will ask one more question - why on earth should you be an insecure person? Why do you accept and put up with a state in which you feel uncomfortable? Yes, ours life experience, the attitude of other people towards us, our successes and failures, our fears, all this affects a person’s self-confidence, I understand that. But you see, friends, the outside world is one thing, but our attitude towards ourselves, our opinion about ourselves, our understanding of the patterns of certain of our personal qualities, and, more importantly, our vision of our own, not only weaknesses, but also strengths, is completely different. We all have our weaknesses and strengths, we cannot, even if we try very hard, consist only of shortcomings - this is impossible. Each of us is interesting in our own way, good in our own way, smart in our own way, unique and needed by this world for something. We should not, because we cannot, compare ourselves with other people in order to give self-assessment. A person must, first of all, accept himself as he is, and as for the outside world, he will always have an ambiguous opinion about you. Some people will like you, others will not, others will not care about you - this is normal.

If you haven't found your place in life and haven't figured out who you are, then you can fix it, yourself or with the help of others. The same psychologists, if you turn to them for help, can, after studying your personality, help you do this. They will help you, as they say, find yourself. That is, they will show you who you are, what you are, how strong and weaknesses, what you should work on to become better, how you can best work on yourself, and so on. They will help you find your place in life. But thinking badly about yourself, having a low opinion of yourself, considering yourself worse than others - this, friends, is wrong, you should not do this. You have no reason to think badly about yourself; you can only have someone else’s bad opinion of you in your head, which you consider to be your own. You cannot be an insecure person of your own free will, for this is mental state– does not serve your interests. Now, please pay attention to your life, just be sure to take everything into account, both your failures and your successes. So don’t you really have these successes? Really, you don’t know how to do anything at all, you haven’t achieved anything in your life and haven’t won any victories in it? I highly doubt it. But let's say that this is so, let's say that you really haven't yet achieved noticeable success in your life. Well, imagine this success, force your brain to paint you a picture of your life that you would be happy to hang in your bedroom, and which would serve as a guide for you to action. And if so far you have nothing to be proud of, although, I repeat, I strongly doubt this, but let’s say this is so, then you still have everything ahead of you, which means that all your victories will be achieved in the future. But you must, on your part, take a step towards this future, because in order to at least get somewhere, you need to go, and not stand still.

Friends, you can do anything, I’m telling you this seriously. You only need to find out exactly how you can achieve something by analyzing your personality and understanding your current capabilities. You are no worse than other people, even the most successful and advanced of them, who have achieved great success in their lives. They are made of the same things you are made of, but they do not want to think badly about themselves and do not doubt their capabilities, because they understand that they do not need it, it is not beneficial for them. All that holds you back and limits you is a virus implanted in your head that affects your psychological state, in a negative way and forces you to be passive. This virus is the reaction of the outside world to you and your dependence on this reaction, as well as your laziness, which does not allow you to prove to yourself that you are capable of much. The outside world, by and large, doesn’t care about you, it lives its own life, there are plenty of all kinds of people in it, both confident and insecure, and those who may be interested and pleasant in you, and those who, for one reason or another, are not like it. Forget about him. Don’t let the outside world evaluate you, don’t let it invade your inner world, build it yourself, build it the way you need it. If you want to be a confident person, be one, be one in your inner world, and then the outside world will accept you the way you present yourself to it. Remember, while other people are acting, succeeding and failing, you are inactive, and your inaction, your passivity, is destroying you as a person. You are afraid, but at the same time you feed your fear with your inaction, becoming an even more insecure person. And you need to take it and do it, do everything that you can do, in which you can succeed, in order to thereby learn about your capabilities and prove, first to yourself, and then to those around you, your importance.

But don’t count on quick success in various matters that seem easy to you. Right away, without special training, you, of course, will be able to succeed in little. Moreover, in any business, mistakes and failures are inevitable, which you simply cannot help but allow if you decide to achieve something. The question is how persistent you will be so that, regardless of mistakes and failures, you do not lose faith in yourself, and more precisely, everything will depend on how wise you are in order to accept any mistakes and failures as taken for granted and get the maximum benefit out of them for yourself. Don’t lose heart because of unmet expectations, develop resilience to failure. How? Just get used to them. Get used to the fact that when you start doing something, you will first encounter problems, a lot of problems, and only after you solve these problems will success in the form of a reward be guaranteed to you. This is your perseverance, which will help you achieve success in various matters, it will definitely make you a more confident person. You will understand when you persistently strive for something that it is not confidence that leads to success, but success makes a person confident when he, bleeding from the nose, does what he intended. There are always first steps in everything, as well as a sequence of steps that will be within your power and that will lead you to your first victories. They will allow you to feel your strength, because after taking one step, you will understand that you can take a second, and a third, and then you will realize that anyone who walks can master any road. Friends, if you are unable to determine these steps for yourself, this task is not easy for some people - contact me for help, we will determine them together. Remember the main thing - you don’t need to believe in yourself so much as understand yourself. And for this you need to study yourself, and not only with the help of introspection, but also with the help of certain things that you will do regardless of any fear and doubts, and see what works for you and what doesn’t work, and why it doesn't work if it doesn't work out.

You have no objective reasons to feel insecure, I once again draw your attention to this, dear readers. And all your subjective ideas about yourself, if they somehow interfere with your life and make you an insecure person, you can study in detail through self-analysis or with the help of a psychologist. We psychologists don’t eat our bread in vain. And if suddenly, someone inspired you that you are somehow worse than other people, then we will convince you of the opposite, we will convince you that you are the most best man on earth that you are the best. It's more correct installation, more promising. Well, friends, confidence and self-confidence are not far from each other. And if you doubt that being a self-confident person is good, pay attention to successful people, although they are realists, they present themselves to society as if they were not people, but gods. To lower your self-esteem and suppress your self-confidence, there will always be those who want to, and there are much fewer people in this world who can instill confidence in you. Of course, you yourself should perceive yourself adequately, but in some matters, excessive faith in your capabilities will not hurt you; people have always done the impossible only when they admitted the possibility of the existence of the impossible.

You know, what else I would like to tell you, friends, is about self-confidence. Our life is too short for us to waste it on such little things as uncertainty, doubt and fear. I don’t know whether this is the only life we ​​have or not; no one, in fact, can prove to us any of the hypotheses about this. But one thing I can tell you for sure is that we should spend this period of life that is measured out for you and me on something more significant than some kind of uncertainty. Maybe you don’t need to jump with a parachute when you’re eighty years old, but you should definitely try your hand at more reasonable things. To hell with uncertainty, you don’t need it, start acting right now, start doing what you’ve never done, what you didn’t dare to do because of stupid fear and stupid uncertainty, and then it, confidence, will definitely come to you. No matter what comes, she has always been with you, because she is inside you, you only need to awaken her in yourself so that she will help you feel your strength and realize the limitlessness of your possibilities.

Achieving success in life is sometimes not so easy. Stress and conflict create uncertainty that deprives people leadership qualities and does not give the opportunity to develop. In order to become more successful, you need to start with yourself.

Self-confidence is an important component of every personality. Confident people find it easier to achieve their goals, express their opinions, and engage in own business. To find yourself in yourself, use effective advice psychologists.

1. Choose the right clothes

Clothes and appearance They say a lot about a person. To feel more confident, do not forget about personal hygiene and wear clean clothes. neat clothes. If you are satisfied with your appearance, it will be easier for you to contact people and express your point of view. A simple rule will help you look stylish: buy quality clothes which will last you much longer. Fewer clothes in your wardrobe will not clutter up the space, and you will always look neat.

2. Change your gait

A self-confident person is always distinguished by his gait. Energy and determination are transmitted to the whole body, which is why such people’s steps are swift. They have somewhere to go, they are confident in their actions. If you can't walk quickly, add some liveliness to your gait. This will help you get organized and feel much more confident and purposeful.

3. Watch your posture

Lack of self-confidence is visible in drooping shoulders, drooping head and sluggish movements. Start watching how you hold your back, start training at home. A straight back and a confident head posture will help you gain self-confidence. In addition, you will be able to produce pleasant impression on employers, colleagues and people around you.

4. Promote yourself

Motivational speeches are needed in order to feel a surge of strength and confidence in your actions. Write a short speech for yourself, highlighting your strengths. Learn it and recite it while standing in front of the mirror. Psychologists recommend performing this exercise “in full dress.” So, if you need to undergo an interview, give a report or conduct business meeting, put on formal suit and start building self-confidence. Pronounce complex phrases so that your speech is correct and competent.

5. Don't forget about gratitude

Any completed task requires a reward. Learn to thank yourself for what you succeed at. This motivation will help you avoid discouragement when you fail to complete difficult task. Take a break and remember what you managed to accomplish brilliantly. This way you will raise your self-esteem and begin to perform your duties with enthusiasm.

6. Be mindful of compliments.

In order not to transfer your bad mood to the people around you, make it a habit to praise them and say nice words. Eliminate any gossip and judgment of your environment behind your back. Thanks to compliments and a reciprocal sincere smile, you will cheer yourself up and become more confident in your words and actions. In addition, by giving compliments, you discover in yourself best sides and begin to stay on course for success.

7. Choose seats in the front

Lack of confidence causes people to choose distant places at meetings and other events. By deciding to sit in the front row, you conquer your own fears and strengthen your self-confidence. In addition, your position will be advantageous if you are focused on active participation in the event. You will be able to show off, engage in conversation, and be noticed by people speaking.

8. Express your own opinion

9. Don't neglect exercise

Physical form affects self-confidence as well as appearance. By paying attention to sports, you become more resilient, keep your figure in order and constantly feel a surge of strength. Working out also builds willpower and improves your mood, so constant practice will help you gain self-confidence.

10. Take care of the people around you

When we get hung up on own desires, we stop seeing the world around us in integrity. In order to be self-confident, you need to pay attention to people's needs. Good deeds and selfless help will help you not to dwell on your own shortcomings, but sincere gratitude will help you become better. Feeling the rush positive emotions, each person subconsciously begins to gravitate toward goodness and light, which increases his chances of success and self-realization.

Drawing up a daily work plan will also help you gain self-confidence. This will help you be more collected, calculate the time correctly and eliminate annoying mistakes. Get yourself a diary in which you note down the necessary things, thank yourself and the people around you, be happy and don’t forget to press the buttons and

How difficult and long a path do you need to walk in order to educate and grow it in yourself?

It’s interesting how faith in one’s strength and trust in self? What is your opinion?

It turns out that confident behavior is the result of confident thinking. The way a person imagines himself is the way he looks. And he acts based on internal installations, ideas about oneself.

How to become confident?

You can start with the simplest thing - portraying a confident person in any situation. life situations. In the supermarket, in the pool, on the street, among colleagues, in the subway. It will work here famous law transition of quantity into qualitative changes. You will show more, and with every action you will become more confident. Step, one more, next. And the process began! With every step it gets better, more natural, more persistent.

This is how you can outsmart your thinking, which is fixated on patterns. You can easily and unobtrusively change your mind, imagining yourself as an actor who selflessly and talentedly plays a role. You decide when to put the actor on stage, when to turn the “switch” to turn it off. You are in complete control of the situation. We decided that at the party you will be embarrassed - there will be strangers, do so. Be shy okay! With all your might! Tired of it? Switch the “switch” - choose confident behavior, communicate as equals, with dignity and self-respect.

How to look confident?

One hundred percent in the history of your life there were moments when you were a confident person.

Remember them.

Perhaps - in childhood, when you helped little sister fasten your sandals or at school, when they recited the poem they had learned with pleasure. Or in my youth, when I won sports competitions.

Or in situations when you were among close and dear people, when you spoke in front of an audience or talked with someone.

Recall in your memory the intonations, how you spoke, how you breathed, how you moved, how you gestured, what position you were in? What did the voice sound like, what did the face express, what were the sensations?

Now, in order to “turn on” the confident person in you, repeat all this, copy your posture, pace and volume of speech, gestures - get into the desired state. There is no need to invent anything, you have already been in this place - in the body, you were such a person, now you remember it and make it your natural state.

When you are confident, others perceive your dignity, self-confidence, and self-respect. And they strengthen you even more in these sensations.

1. Space. A confident person inhabits the space well. Fully occupy the offered chair or armchair, lean back, use the armrests. Make broad gestures, on a grand scale, expanding the area of ​​your influence. Be different from the insecure person, who, on the contrary, tends to shrink, shrivel up, take up as little space as possible, sit on the edge of the chair, and limit himself to meager gestures.
2. No fuss. Is there a standard for a confident person for you? Who is this? Margaret Thatcher? Angelina Jolie? Ivan Urgant? Sylvester Stallone? Or someone else? Imagine your ideal, who nervously jumps up in his chair, fidgets, intensely fiddles with his tie, and beats the drum with his fingers on the table. Yes, it's hard to imagine. Confidence is incompatible with vanity. Take it away.
3. Straight pose. In any position, standing or sitting, maintain an even posture. It allows you to radiate confidence, feel it and look like a confident person. Practice: chest forward, shoulders back, keep your head level in the horizontal and vertical plane. Imagine as if there is a string coming out of the top of your head that is pulling you into the heavens. Remember this pose and merge with it.
4. Rate of speech. When someone jabbers and speaks very quickly, it is difficult for him to be confident and independent. A confident person speaks with feeling, clearly, with emphasis, without tension. He knows that he will not be interrupted, he will be allowed to speak. Speech rate is average and smooth. Make it a rule that the more worried and nervous you are, the slower and calmer you speak, and pause. Speak as if you are communicating with a child and it is important for you that he understands you.
5. Me, me and me again. Speak in the first person. Use phrases: I think, I believe, I decided, I found out, I support, I disagree, I think differently. Feel free to express your opinion, do not hide behind the streamlined and impersonal “we”, “everyone”, “joint decision”, “everyone”. Avoid excuses!
6. Eye contact. A confident person shifts the focus from himself to others. He is not fixated on himself, he is interested in the interlocutor and the world around him. Therefore direct open look is very important and helps to be confident, makes people understand your interest. When communicating, you connect not only your hearing, but also an additional channel of perception, “listen with your eyes”, perceive and understand your interlocutor more clearly.
7. Dignity. Take the example of the king of beasts, the lion. What plasticity, strength and power he has in his movements. Slowly, with dignity, confidently, elegantly. To be sure, slow down. Move like a king. Your movements should be smooth, meaningful, thoughtful, unhurried.
8. Acceptance of yourself and others. Be calm, friendly and kind, even if the other person does not agree with you or you with him. Believe in yourself, in your point of view. Yours will not make people think the same way as you. Your goal is to be respected.
9. Gesture of a confident man – spire-gesture. The tips of the fingers of one hand touch the tips of the other hand under acute angle, forming a spire. This is a signal of confidence and calm. Use it like additional method confident behavior.
10. Don't try to please everyone. You need to be good, first of all, for yourself. Your confidence should not depend on how, when and how you are assessed and accepted.
11. Pauses. Insecure people are afraid of silence, afraid of silence and are quick to break it. There is no need to “go out of your way” to fill every second with, albeit meaningless, chatter. Pause before you answer. Small. One to two seconds. Think about what you heard, what your interlocutor wanted to convey to you. This will give you confidence and help you control the situation in communication.
12. Laughter. Don't giggle. You're not at the circus. Giggling is a sign of uncertainty and instability. Appreciate good jokes: smile or laugh calmly.
13. Nodule disease. If you listen to your interlocutor and agree with him, you don’t need to continuously nod your head - you are not a “Chinese dummy.” You are a serious, confident person. A couple of head tilts in agreement are quite sufficient.
14. Secret and obvious. Being in any situation: in or with people, in the rays of the sun or in the dark, do not do anything for which you will be ashamed of yourself. Act in accordance with your principles, do not prevaricate, and she will reward you with the foundation on which self-confidence and high self-confidence will rest.
15. I don't know and I'm not afraid. If you want to be trusted, never be afraid to admit that you don't know something. “I have not yet encountered such a problem. Right now I don't have an answer to this question" It is impossible to know everything. Realize this and feel free to say what you don’t know. This will help you build your self-confidence even further.

Friends, everyone has absolutely everything they need to be confident, starting from today, from this moment. You don't need to read for this further reading, make an appointment with a psychologist, undergo training. Just decide to be a confident person, flip the switch and turn on your new personality. Good luck!

Video for you "Confidence is the key to victory."

P.P.S. If you liked the article, comment and click on the social network buttons; if you don’t like it, criticize and click on the social network buttons to discuss and express your opinion. Thank you

Low self-esteem is not best helper on the path to success and self-realization. Even after realizing why uncertainty arose, it is not always possible to gain self-confidence. What is this connected with? Most likely with the degree of neglect of such a condition. Like a disease that can be easily treated with early stages and much more difficult if this is not done in time. Likewise, the uncertainty that sits in a person for years eventually becomes part of his life. Is there a way out of this situation? How to gain self-confidence after many years of being “below the plinth”? First of all, raise your head, open your eyes and start reading this article.

Techniques to help you gain self-confidence

We will not analyze the reasons for lowering self-esteem. After all, recommendations on how to gain self-confidence work equally effectively, regardless of why a person has become less confident in his abilities. The reasons are not so important because they are already in the past. Where the ways are more important, helping to fix everything, because the future depends on them. The only thing we can recommend is to go through it in order to understand exactly how hard you will have to work.

So, to increase self-esteem the following will help:

• Success Diary;
• Active lifestyle;
• Friends and Relationships;
• Interesting hobby;
• Daily affirmations;
• Attention to your appearance;
• Motivational videos or books.

If you use all the points from this list, gaining self-confidence will be even easier and faster.

Success Diary

Sometimes, “trying to reach for the stars,” people do not notice life itself, ceasing to enjoy it. For example, if someone had one failure when getting a device on new job, that doesn't mean he hasn't scored dozens of victories elsewhere. Why dwell on failure when there are achievements? Good advice, how to gain self-confidence - start a Success Diary, where you write down all your daily victories. You don’t have to wait for new achievements; you can remember what has already been done and start writing it down, regularly adding new achievements. In those moments when self-esteem begins to suffer and one’s hands give up, it is enough to re-read this diary, reminding oneself of one’s victories.

Active lifestyle

For the Success Diary to turn into a real library, it is advisable to accustom yourself to active image life. Every day gives many opportunities for self-realization. If you don't miss them, it will become obvious how to gain confidence. For example, you can enroll in graphic design courses, successfully complete them, receive a certificate, and thereby increase your self-esteem. Or, go dancing, becoming more confident at discos. If you don’t want or have the opportunity to spend money, then there are dozens of free activities: all kinds of flash mobs, exhibitions, literary evenings, volunteer projects, social initiatives, etc. It’s enough just to Google posters or announcements of your city. The search engine will instantly return dozens of offers for the near future.

Friends and relationships

How more active person, the wider his social circle, the greater the chances of finding company and meeting his love. True friends will always support and come to the rescue, and a life partner will not let you doubt your personal significance. But for them to appear, you need to get off the couch and leave the house. Social media or mobile applications, with all their potential, will never replace relationships and friendships. But some joint project or a real hobby, they will definitely tell you how to gain confidence and find like-minded people.

A person’s hobby is an activity that he or she likes, and accordingly, the desire to engage in it is much stronger than to study or work. If a person does something with interest, then success in this type of activity is much more realistic. Accordingly, hobby - great option how to gain self-confidence. For example, some office worker, without much career prospects, can be a first-class martial arts instructor. Except purely psychological aspect associated with increased self-esteem, a hobby very often becomes the work of a person’s entire life, gradually providing him with income and recognition.

Daily Affirmations

How to gain self-confidence if you have doubts about your capabilities? In addition to working on yourself, it is advisable to practice self-hypnosis - regularly repeating how wonderful and successful we are. This practice is called affirmations - a clear statement that attracts expected changes into a person’s life. For example, someone finds it difficult to get a job because they are unsure of their potential. If such a person begins to repeat to himself every morning, looking in the mirror, one a simple phrase: “I am very promising, all employers are interested in me, the most best job– mine,” then gradually he himself will believe it. And self-confidence ensures the achievement of your goals.

Attention to your appearance

An equally important point for men and women. Of course, there are specifics, but being well-groomed, clean and fit is important for everyone. It is absolutely not necessary to spend significant money for this. Clothes can be simple, but neat and tasteful. Expensive gyms can be replaced with a free sports ground or running track in the nearest park. You will see for yourself how much easier it will become to gain self-confidence if you are confident about your appearance.

Motivational videos or books

The Internet is full of all kinds of motivators or success stories that are freely available. Literally everything is explained there. How to gain self-confidence, how to meet a girl, how to find a job, how to assemble a thermonuclear reactor in the kitchen. Anything. There is even a book “How to control the Universe without attracting the attention of orderlies.” So, instead of another soap opera or highbrow show, you can, for a change, read or watch something inspiring. Who knows, maybe one of these motivators will radically change someone's life, showing the path to success and recognition.

Asking the question “How to gain self-confidence?” - this is very good and correct. A person, at a minimum, realizes that something is wrong in his life and needs to be corrected. This is not something to be ashamed of. It's worse when someone doesn't even realize that their self-esteem is low. If he is regularly told that he deserves more than he gives himself, this is a reason to think about it and make every possible effort to gain self-confidence. After all adequate self-esteem makes life much easier and allows you to realize yourself to the fullest.

Self-doubt not only prevents you from setting and achieving desired goals in life, building interpersonal relationships, but also unpleasant emotional experience. Insecure people often dream not so much of gaining faith in themselves in order to achieve more in life, but of getting rid of the painful feeling of their own inadequacy that arises from failure or social contacts.

Self-confidence is a concept in psychology that describes emotional state or sustainable personal quality, the essence of which is to accept one’s individuality, a positive assessment of one’s abilities, skills and rights. Confidence in psychology is the ability to allow oneself to have certain requests and the absence of fear or guilt when presenting them to others, initiative and courage in social contacts.

From a psychological point of view, confidence is the norm, a sign of healthy, harmonious personality. This is a quality that every person should strive for when engaged in self-development. Self-confidence must be distinguished from self-confidence (the conviction that one negative qualities, arrogance, tendency to treat others with disdain).

Characteristic signs of a self-confident person are the following skills.

1. Playfulness, a tendency to improvise, open and spontaneous self-expression.
2. The ability to admit your mistakes, but without self-deprecation and self-criticism.
3. Calm acceptance of both complaints and compliments addressed to you.
4. The ability to discuss, directly and honestly express one’s own opinion, even if it is unpopular in society.
5. The ability to repeat a request, question, or remind another person of the promise he has made. Willingness to protect your interests and rights.

For an insecure person, the presentation of his point of view, achievements, needs, desires is accompanied by a lot of negative experiences (fear, embarrassment, shame, guilt). The more unconfident a person is, the more difficult it is for him to undertake active actions to achieve your goals, make independent decisions. Too much energy is wasted on worry and doubt. Possible failures do not frighten a confident person and do not unsettle him for a long time.

How to become a confident woman: the psychology of an excellent student

The excellent student complex, also known as perfectionism, is a problem for most women who lack self-confidence. There is still a “good” girl inside them, who is obliged to bring home only A’s. A girl who was allowed to walk in a white dress, and she returned home in the evening without a single spot. Such women simply do not give themselves the right to make a mistake or an imperfect result. After all, this is no longer an “excellent” rating. As a result, any unimportant task becomes very energy-consuming, and the presence of even minor defects in a completed project is accompanied by an acute feeling of guilt and shame.

Women with an excellent student complex are very easy to manipulate. Management often assigns the most difficult work to them and asks them more than other employees. Although there is no financial encouragement, understanding that hypertrophied responsibility itself will do its job.

This inner little excellent student has enormous power over consciousness. It is her voice that dissuades you from trying something new, because you probably won’t be able to achieve perfection in an unfamiliar task right away. So why try? It is this little monster with bows that prohibits you from enjoying life and makes you feel unworthy of anything good until you lose weight, get a promotion, and make those around you happy.

To regain self-confidence, you need to know the enemy by sight. Mentally imagine before your eyes this girl with a straight posture, neat pigtails, perfect handwriting and dolls, arranged according to height, every time it starts And give her a good mental kick. Never allow yourself to be addressed with statements like “stupid”, “bad”, “incapable of anything”, “stupid”, “lazy”. Think about whether you would say something similar to yours best friend or a child? In case of failure, you should not torment yourself with accusations, but first of all, support.

How to become a strong and confident woman: the psychology of stereotypes

Gender stereotypes that still exist in our society help maintain gender inequality. And many of them serve a disservice to women who dream of social fulfillment.

The media, especially the film industry, literature and video games, where women and men are portrayed in exaggerated stereotypical ways, have a strong influence on the formation and maintenance of gender stereotypes. Traditionally, men are credited with such qualities as initiative, activity, enterprise, talent for the exact sciences, and are given the right to express aggression and competitive behavior. " A real woman“should be soft, gentle, fragile, delicate, emotional, primarily family-oriented and devoid of career ambitions. If such characteristics do not correspond to a woman’s sense of self, then social pressure becomes a real source of stress and the cause of the formation of self-doubt.

The majority are convinced of naturalness and naturalness gender roles accepted in society. However, in reality, there is a diversity of ideas about gender depending on the culture and era in question. Moreover, gender stereotypes do not reflect real statistics broad involvement of women in professional activity V modern society at all levels. For example, the creator of the first programming language was a woman - Ada Lovelace.

The boss criticized you, the girl refused? What does it mean? You will never succeed, no one can love you? When you fail, ask yourself: what of this? The answer to this question will help identify your complexes and false ideas about life.

Create a positive self-image

Self-confidence is greatly influenced by the established image of one’s personality. By identifying with the image of a loser, people unconsciously begin to live up to the negative self-image, failing even when given opportunities. For example, doubting his attractiveness to the opposite sex, a guy begins to behave awkwardly or unnaturally when communicating with women. As a result, he pushes them away and receives “irrefutable evidence” that he is nothing interesting.

Once you expand your understanding of your personality, external events will begin to confirm your new views of yourself. To achieve this, you can go in two ways. Either upgrade your psyche using various methods of self-hypnosis (), or gradually get rid of the limitations in your consciousness. Question one false belief after another, looking for or deliberately creating positive situations in your experience.

Describe at least three situations every day that indicate your success (a compliment received, gratitude from a friend, getting a job). Give back pleasant memories as much energy and attention as failures. And soon you will feel how the feeling of self-confidence grows and strengthens in you.