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What is sympathy: all shades of human feelings. Difference between love and sympathy

The question of what love is, infatuation or just sympathy, has remained unresolved from time immemorial. Many people have been dating each other for many years, but no one can answer: how to distinguish love from infatuation or sympathy? We will try to understand this issue now.

How to distinguish love from infatuation

First, you should think about whether you want happiness for your loved one, whether you want to do the best for him, but at the same time, as it seems to you, he does not treat you with the same tenderness and does not want the same for you. This is a sign of great sympathy, but perhaps even love.

If your loved one decides to leave you for another person, finds another love, what feeling will you experience? If you also wish him happiness, while suffering from pain, then such a feeling can be called love.

It is important to figure out what you feel, if a person looks at you, if you feel inspired and inspired, then, apparently, this is love.

If you want children from a person and see a future together with him, then this is love.

Many philosophers have interpreted the meaning of love, each giving different definitions.

But in order to distinguish love from falling in love, you need to understand within yourself what love is for you and what sympathy is for you.

When a person is next to you, your heart beats wildly, you want to spend all your time with him, forgetting about everything, you dream about children, about a house together, you feel incredibly happy... This is not necessarily the same love, most likely , this is just one of the factors of falling in love or just passion.

Love is tested by time, when passion passes, a different feeling appears, perhaps this is a simple habit, but some call this feeling love.

When you love, you don’t dream of children, you have them, raise them, you find a common language when choosing a house, you wait for each other from work, despite the fact that no one has earned anything, you help each other if someone... then more tired. You and the best friends and lovers have gone through a lot together, both wealth and poverty, and separation and disappointment, but at the same time your feelings have not faded away and you are also ready to support each other, as before, to wish each other happiness and do everything for this. Then this feeling can be called love.

In fact, love is different for everyone. But believe me, that feeling when you can’t sleep or eat is certainly not love, love is when you feel good and cozy. Try not to confuse these two feelings and find your love!

5 ways to distinguish love from infatuation

It is a pity that strong love can be confused with ordinary passion or infatuation. Only after a couple of years of relationship, you can already judge whether there is love or not at all. After all, after this period, all passions will simply fade away and then it will be much easier to understand what you feel for each other. After all, you will have to take off your rose-colored glasses and understand how everything really is. Try to name good qualities, not counting external ones. If you cannot do this, then it means there is no love between you.

How to recognize true love? If there is no respect in a relationship, then there can be no talk of love. Think carefully about the actions of your love. Do they show you respect? For example, if you are respected, then without your knowledge, the choice will not be accepted. Pay very close attention to this factor.

If your partner has self-interest, then there is no love between you. After all, if a loved one does everything that benefits only him, then this is very sad. Your loved one will do everything to make you happy. Every time he will talk about his feelings, how he feels for you, how strong his love is.

If you decide to understand love in your relationship, then carefully think about whether you have any motives for being with this person. Also, it is worth noting that love gives a place to freedom, that is, there is a place for jealousy, but here a line is needed that cannot be crossed. If a person really loves, then he will not ask for proof of love, because love does not need reciprocity.

If love is real, then many can do many different things that are very difficult to explain. A loved one will never try to become one with you, he will love you with all his heart, but at the same time, he will give you time for your personal life. Loving people say “we”, but at the same time, they are individuals who are free. But if someone said “I”, then this is no longer love, so you should pay careful attention to this.

How to distinguish love from sympathy

Think about whether you want only the best for this person, despite the fact that perhaps he treats you differently than you treat him, with less warmth. This is probably one of the signs of love. However, this can also be called a sign of sympathy.

If this person rejects you and starts dating someone else, leaving you with no hope of rekindling the relationship, will you continue to have the same feelings for him. If the answer is yes, then this can be considered a sign of love.

How do you react if this person looks at you, smiles at you, does your heart skip a beat? Do you feel at this moment in “seventh heaven?” If the answer is yes, then most likely you are in love. If the answer is “no,” then it’s probably just sympathy, strong, but sympathy.

Are you ready to do everything possible just to know that the person you care about is alive, happy and healthy, even though he is far from you? If “yes,” then we can certainly say that this is a sign of love.

Do you feel ready to live a long life with that person who is so dear to you, sharing all the joys and hardships in half, giving all your strength, all of yourself in order to make this person’s life the happiest. If “yes,” then you have love for that person, an all-consuming and very strong feeling, which is not sympathy.

Do you lose interest in being with him, no matter what happens, do you feel the desire to be with this person all your life. If the answer is yes, then this brings you closer to the fact that the feeling you are experiencing is love.

Do you feel simultaneously attracted to this person as a person of the opposite sex and as a person? If this is so, then this is more love than sympathy.

When deciding what feeling you have for that person, love or sympathy, and how to distinguish love from sympathy, do you want to have children together with him. Will you be happy to find the traits of this person in your children, while experiencing a feeling of joy, tenderness and pride? If this is the case, then you love.

If you have ceased to be interested in representatives of the opposite sex, thereby turning into some kind of “neuter beings,” then, most likely, we are talking about love, not sympathy.

The emergence of new and strong feelings for the opposite sex inspires a person, gives him strength and joy. But at the same time it can bring a lot of pain and suffering. To avoid unnecessary disappointments, you should understand your feelings instead of denying their occurrence.

True love is not always easy to recognize. To do this, you need to conduct an honest introspection and show diligence in order to understand your feelings and understand the sympathies of your chosen one.

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    Love or infatuation?

    Before you completely plunge headlong into a romantic relationship, you need to understand three main facets:

    • sympathy;
    • love;
    • Love.

    Understanding these points will help you avoid mistakes and eventually find true happiness.

    Falling in love can very often be confused with love. Both of these concepts imply romantic feelings. However, their basis is different. If love turns a blind eye to shortcomings and rests only on an external and superficial foundation, then love knows about the strengths and weaknesses of its partner, it constantly grows and strengthens, no matter what.

    To decide, you need to study 10 differences between love and infatuation.

    How to distinguish love from affection

    What do you like about a person?

    An enthusiastic person pays most attention to physical characteristics - a beautiful figure, a pretty face, an athletic physique, etc. Although there is nothing wrong with looking at beautiful people, appearance is only a beautiful wrapper, in which there is no corresponding content. Having met a person of more attractive appearance, sympathy can easily pass, and thoughts will already be occupied with a new acquaintance.

    Unlike sympathy, true love is interested in the personality of a loved one. Physical attraction is present, but it only complements the personality characteristics and attractive qualities of the partner.

    How to get rid of being in love

    Evaluation of merits

    When falling in love, a person pays attention only to some of the qualities of the chosen one. He turns a blind eye to shortcomings and exaggerates strengths.

    But when you truly love a person, you know about all his shortcomings, you accept them and try to focus more on his actions, strengths and admire them.

    What is the difference between love and infatuation

    Consistency in feelings

    Falling in love is not characterized by constancy. Therefore, the feelings of a man or woman can either glow or subside for a certain period. The reason is that it is a superficial feeling. It does not have deep roots that constantly fuel interest in a person.

    Men's love does not calm down. Thoughts about your beloved, the desire to constantly see a person, be close and hear her voice do not let go for a single day. If a passionate person can easily endure separation, then with real feelings it becomes unbearable pain.

    How did feelings affect your personality?

    Psychology notes that a fleeting infatuation with another person leads to disorganization. The person becomes distracted, relaxed, and stops thinking sensibly. In addition, falling in love encourages spontaneous and thoughtless actions.

    Deep feelings are always creative. They encourage the lover to develop, improve, work on his qualities, and give a surge of new strength and energy with which he can move mountains.

    Important Elements of Love

    An analysis of the main components of true love will help you distinguish love from infatuation.

    Deep and genuine feelings are based on:

    • frankness, trust and understanding;
    • loyalty;
    • passion.

    In sympathy there is only physical attraction and loyalty, but there is no open communication and mutual understanding. Falling in love involves passion and frankness, but if partners do not make efforts to overcome difficulties and remain faithful to each other, then over time it will pass.

    Basis of feelings

    To find out whether this is real love, you should think about what purpose is pursued in the desire to have a loved one. If a girl believes that a guy can make her happy, will provide for her and thinks only about his own interests, then this is infatuation, but not love.

    True love is different in that it does not seek its own benefit. Love encourages one to unselfishly, devotedly care for the interests of another and do everything possible for his happiness.

    Opinions of others

    An important test of true feelings is the opinion of close people about the chosen one. An enthusiastic person tends to idealize another, not paying attention to serious shortcomings. Friends or family may not approve of the choice made because they look at things realistically and see dangerous signals.

    When a girl truly loves, then more often her parents and friends do not oppose such a relationship. They will see the same good qualities and actions for which she fell in love with the man, they will be able to make sure that she knows about his shortcomings and is ready to put up with them all her life.

    Time is the best indicator of feelings

    Distance is the best opportunity to identify and test your feelings. Liking rests only on physical attractiveness. If people are simply passionate about each other, then under the influence of time and distance, interest in the person disappears and the relationship ends.

    To completely forget a man, a woman in love only needs 1-3 months. Then she is visited by thoughts about the futility of relationships, and she begins to pay attention to cute guys.

    Unlike passion for deep feelings, nothing can interfere. For those who truly love each other, the thread of love only grows stronger, despite thousands of kilometers and years of separation. Lovers will find opportunities to maintain their relationship, since they will no longer be able to exist without each other. No other person of the opposite sex can replace and fill the emptiness in your heart.

    Therefore, you need to treat the upcoming separation calmly and not worry. If the feeling is just a passing fancy and it will not stand the test, then it is better to find out in advance.

    How often do disagreements occur?

    Attraction is characterized by frequent quarrels and romantic reconciliations. They can arise due to any trifles or imaginary offenses or jealousy.

    When you love a person, disagreements become less frequent and larger-scale. Everyone learns to resolve conflicts and discuss problems openly and honestly.

    Phases of love

    To sort out your feelings, you need to consider the phases of love that every person goes through:

    • infant phase - focused only on satisfying one’s needs;
    • parental love - feelings for parents;
    • phase of friendly love - the appearance of friends, the desire to communicate with other people, to be a member of society;
    • phase of youthful love - manifestation of interest in the opposite sex, formation of personality and life principles;
    • mature love - a person sees not only the external appearance, but also the inner world of the other, stops showing selfish qualities and thinks about the interests of the chosen one.

    True love is a dynamic phenomenon. It requires constant dedication, compromise and effort. Deep feelings originate from the desire to give joy to another and the willingness to sacrifice.

The concept of sympathy was introduced in ancient Greece. Modern psychologists, sociologists and philosophers often use it in their research. However, there is no clear answer to the question of what sympathy is. This word is used to denote a sense of community among people, a positive attitude towards someone, falling in love. A common definition of empathy is the ability to sympathize with others, to understand and experience the feelings of others as if they were our own. It is important to understand that sympathy in its modern sense implies a positive attitude towards a person. This is its main difference from empathy. This definition presupposes a complete understanding of the other person, but does not predetermine the attitude towards him. Empathy is the ability to understand how your opponent thinks, what he feels, and why he acts the way he does in a particular situation.

Is there such a thing as friendship?

In what situations is it appropriate to express your attitude towards something or someone using the adjective “I like”? Each of us meets and meets new people from time to time. Some of them are pleasant, while others do not evoke positive emotions or are downright unpleasant. In this case, answering the question of what sympathy is is very simple. This is a positive assessment of a person, a desire to communicate with him, to do something together. However, such an arrangement often does not require anything more. It’s enough for us to simply communicate with a person, be friends and spend time together. In other words, in its pure form, sympathy does not imply falling in love or love and can arise between people of the same sex. Is reciprocity important for this feeling? Most likely, yes: a person who has experienced sympathy for someone will seek a response from the object. In its absence, he will feel unhappy even if he did not pretend to anything other than friendship and communication.

From sympathy to love...

Let's remember how a romantic relationship begins? People get acquainted, begin to communicate, become interested in each other and gradually come to the realization that they are now a couple. It is at this stage or a little later that confessions of their feelings begin, and then some kind of agreement can be reached that determines the nature and style of the relationship between these two in a love context. The first time, when everyone seems to be on their own, but wants something more from communicating with the other - this is sympathy. If you ask a person how he feels, he will, without hesitation, tell you about his disposition towards his partner, about the impressions he received and his desire to continue communication. Signs of sympathy in this case are an understanding of what exactly a person likes, an unambiguously positive assessment of him. If this feeling has a romantic connotation, then the person experiencing it will be ready to pursue the one he likes and change for the sake of the attention of the person he likes.

Where does sympathy come from?

No matter what anyone says, during our first contacts we largely evaluate those around us by their external signs and the impression they make. Most often, mutual sympathy arises between people from the same social class, the same subculture, united by common living conditions, ideology, interests or way of thinking. In a crowd, we instinctively look for those who are similar to ourselves. It is much easier to understand someone who lives in similar conditions, is interested in the same things and has similar beliefs. Liking does not necessarily arise immediately after meeting. How many stories of best friends or married couples begin with the story that the main characters have known each other for a long time, but previously “didn’t pay attention to each other”? And this is the same case when we begin to sympathize with someone after an outstanding act on his part, some kind of crisis or, conversely, a bright moment, or after close communication. When talking about what sympathy is, we must not miss the fact that the feeling is, first of all, positive and pleasant, most often for both parties. Don’t be afraid to communicate with others and get to know each of them better: believe me, there are many more like-minded and pleasant people around than might seem at first glance.

Sympathy is a positive attitude towards someone or something, which is expressed by showing kindness, attention and admiration. The reasons for the emergence of sympathy can be very diverse. Sometimes it’s even difficult to explain why we sympathize with one person, but are completely indifferent to another...

Why do we feel sympathy?

When we say that we like a person, as a rule, we mean that we like something about him. This could be his physical attractiveness, charming smile, gestures, and so on. In addition, these could be his personal characteristics: sociability, optimism. For example, you feel comfortable communicating with this person, you easily find common topics, laugh at the same jokes. Sympathy is a non-binding pastime.

It should be noted that laughter is an important indicator of the quality of your communication. If you often laugh during conversations, it means that an excellent level of trust has been established between you and you are really very comfortable being together. If during joint meetings you do not know, there is awkward silence, there is definitely deep sympathy between you.

Sympathy and antipathy

Many of us know people who seem to have many advantages, but for inexplicable reasons we are somehow depressed by their presence nearby. The phenomena of sympathy and antipathy have not yet been fully studied. The specificity of these two concepts is that a positive or negative connection between people is not established by anyone, but arises completely spontaneously.

Sympathy is a very mysterious mechanism. As a rule, it either exists or it doesn’t. We can conclude that we like or dislike a person within a few minutes of communication. If sympathy does not arise immediately, then it is unlikely to arise at the second meeting.

Infatuation and love

Falling in love is a deeper and more serious feeling. A person in love wants to spend an incommensurably huge amount of time with the object of his adoration. Sympathy is when you simply enjoy spending time together; when you are in love, you anxiously await a new meeting, you feel a surge of enormous energy, you want to sing, dance, write poetry, or even just enjoy the simplest things.

Love is the deepest and most complex feeling. If when you fall in love you see only the positive sides of the chosen one (the chosen one), then when you truly love, you see and accept all the person’s shortcomings. Sympathy and love have both very similar and distinctive features. Of course, a deep feeling always begins with interest, but not so often one leads to the other.

Sympathy is a wonderful feeling that reveals a person's potential. It is a reliable foundation for the development of more serious relationships. Surround yourself with people you feel affection for and then the world will seem much more colorful to you, and life will seem wonderful and amazing!

In this material we will look at the difference between love and infatuation.

Love, sympathy or infatuation, and sometimes just passion - these are the feelings that are familiar to each of us. Well, that’s the way we are made – we will definitely be drawn to another person and we will always have a desire to be attached to someone. Love and infatuation, as well as friendship and affection, go in pairs. Yes, they stand so close and go hand in hand that many of us confuse them or don’t even realize that there is any feeling.

How to distinguish love from the feeling of falling in love: comparison, signs, psychology, test

Love and infatuation are very closely related, they are similar and cannot exist without each other. More precisely, how to say, love will not arise without sympathy and previous love. After all, love takes time. Therefore, these feelings are often confused. Perhaps this is due to the fact that each of us wants to find that very true love. By the way, a lot still depends on the character. There are some individuals who fall in love with a new partner every week. Naturally, in this case we are talking about falling in love.

What are the signs of falling in love? Everyone is familiar with these riots of hormones, butterflies in the stomach, feelings of exaltation - all this is part of the emotional aspect of falling in love.

  • As they say, “love at first sight” is a myth. Only love can arise. So she will take you by surprise. And we, unfortunately, cannot choose who and when this will happen.
  • Falling in love begins in a person like the flu. Yes, that's right. Some scientists even attribute the status of a disease to this feeling. A person in love experiences mood swings, blood pressure surges and insomnia, and some even experience headaches.
  • The desire to always be more close to the person you like. Yes, now we are talking about those “chance” meetings.
  • Lovers want to communicate, talk, act and learn something new about each other every day. And the main thing is to avoid boredom and monotony.
  • But a person in love often feels absent-minded, confused in his thoughts (this is what leads to delusional first speeches). And what kind of rash actions does falling in love push you to do? If you look at your life in the past, you feel ashamed of yourself. Yes, this point applies more to teenagers, but a person in love is susceptible to them at any age.
  • How you want to present yourself in the best quality and light. That is, a person in love seems to make it clear that he is the one.

IMPORTANT: Falling in love is more selfish, because a person in such a state, first of all, thinks about himself. He wants to look, touch and be close to him so that he feels good. A person in love rarely wonders what it’s like for his other half. Even if such thoughts arise (purely out of common sense), personal interests and benefits always weigh in the balance.

  • You can’t be 100% sure of passion (no, for example, girls often have thoughts about a future wedding and children), but external data (smile, eyes, gait) can evoke feelings.
  • By the way, when interests come into contact, each other’s shortcomings begin to appear, which we may not accept. Some even manage to start a family or create a civil marriage. And then a whole bunch of discontent blossoms.
  • If you can’t be nearby, then look with your eyes. Yes, a person in love will look for his passion as often as possible (almost constantly). That's why lovers meet their eyes so often.
  • And also, when we start talking to a person we like, the timbre of our voice involuntarily softens and becomes quieter.

But love already has slightly different characteristics:

  • The first thing I would like to highlight is time. Love does not arise quickly and spontaneously. It requires time and work on oneself (for both partners). But you can be sure of the duration of such a feeling for many years.
  • We mentioned that a person in love is only aroused by external data, and shortcomings can be wildly annoying. Then in a state of love we perceive a person as he is. That is, they love him not for his eyes or expensive gifts, but simply for the fact that he exists, he is the best and the only one.
  • There shouldn't be anyone else. That is, a person becomes everything to you. For example, a girl walks and looks at a handsome guy, but thinks to herself: “This jacket is beautiful, I should buy it for my husband!” You don't pay attention to others and don't even notice their positive qualities.
  • No, contact is maintained with friends or relatives. Even more than during the period of falling in love. What this means is that no one else evokes such sympathy.
  • You can just be silent with your loved one. Yes, loving people know how to communicate, as if with a glance or on a telepathic level. And with such a person you feel calm, safe and comfortable. After all, you are in the right place.
  • In love, there are no thoughts of separation (divorce). Even during a period of quarrels (they happen to everyone - this is also a natural and normal process), a loving person understands that they will make peace, find a compromise and move on with their lives. What else! After all, now they have become halves of one whole.
  • By the way, those who love do not have “mine” or “yours,” but they are replaced by “ours.” Moreover, both partners not only have common interests, but even common habits and even character traits become a little similar.
  • The main thing is to always work on yourself. Both partners. This also includes the feeling of forgiveness. Yes, you always need to discuss the problem and look for a compromise.

IMPORTANT: A loving person is always more concerned about the condition of his partner. That is, he does not think about his own benefit or convenience, but so that his beloved feels good and comfortable.

Now let’s touch on their psychological side.

Love:

  1. We all want to continue our lineage. This is inherent in nature and not only in humans, but also in any living creature on the planet. Therefore, such a feeling as falling in love appears. Therefore, one thing can be said – the human body itself encourages the feeling of falling in love.
  2. By the way, falling in love is often deceptive. A person was attracted by external data, and the rest was done by the mind and imagination. And then, when we have to face reality, we become disappointed. In other words, we idealize our partner.
  3. Under the influence of hormones, a person rises, becomes joyful and cheerful. Moreover, the feeling of falling in love also affects our luck. After all, a positive person is doing much better than others. Therefore, falling in love is even beneficial for our body.
  4. And one cannot help but touch upon such an aspect as parents. No, now we are not talking about the love of parents and children. Probably, many have heard that on an unconscious level we choose as partners a person who is similar (if positive aspects are associated with parents) or, conversely, opposite (when parents are associated with negative memories) to our parents.

Now let's talk about love:

  1. Love arises over the years - that's a fact. But there are also some types of love, for example, maternal or brotherly, and there is also love for a neighbor, for the Motherland or work. And, of course, there is sexual love, that is, between a man and a woman, between spouses.
  2. Love is often confused with a feeling of affection or fear of loneliness. But more on that a little later. I just wanted to say a few words about love - a lover will not suppress a partner or create unsuitable living conditions for him, and he will not try to assert himself by any means.
  3. And one cannot fail to note the stages of love. Yes, they exist:
    • Liking or falling in love is a period when hormones dance a waltz and rose-colored glasses are on your eyes.
    • The oversaturation or tipping point is the period when all the shortcomings begin to be noticed. Moreover, the glasses have been removed, and we really don’t like these habits of our partner. And he (or she) does not want to give them up or change them.
    • Denial or the desire to quit everything arises after rose-colored glasses. It is difficult to find a compromise, the partner has many complaints, and he himself does nothing for the sake of the relationship (and each of the partners thinks so). And then thoughts arise that the ideal option would be separation. Unfortunately, this is the longest period and for most couples it ends in a breakup.
    • The beginning or birth of love occurs when partners dare to stay together and begin to work on themselves. Once again, do not confuse it with hopelessness or a feeling of attachment. In love, care and tenderness come first for the loved one.
    • And true love is the final stage. Unfortunately, it can only be achieved by mature partners who have truly experienced both joys and sorrows. Along with love should also come friendship, passion, interest and spiritual closeness. Of course, partners must be able to get along as a team, be responsible and devoted to each other.


To finally establish the final verdict, we offer you a small test:

  1. Pay attention to your appearance.
    • A person in love becomes prettier and tries to attract attention to himself as much as possible. There is a blush on the cheeks, a shine in the eyes, and a smile on the face.
    • Love does not like loud and flashy outfits. It is generally more invisible, and the changes in appearance are minor.
  2. Character and conversations.
    • During the period of falling in love, we try to be near our chosen one more often, and conversations can only be about him. Constantly tormented by questions: “do you like me?”, “do I look good?”, “did you notice my outfit?”
    • In love there is a desire to make your soulmate only better, so that he can feel good. And not only that, but those around us also get the distribution of happiness and help.
  3. What emotions are overwhelming.
    • Jumps and mood swings are what characterizes falling in love. Cry because you didn’t call on time, or didn’t meet at the first break, and then when you see your crush, it all changes with loud laughter and an elevated mood.
    • The weak point of lovers is their views. There are no longer those jumps (sometimes quiet, sometimes loud), feelings are more stable and calm.
  4. What is the difference between the behaviors?
    • When falling in love, some may blush sharply, others fall silent or, conversely, begin to communicate loudly and fervently. And there are cases when shy representatives simply run away.
    • In love, everything is different - with your loved one (in love, he becomes like that), you feel at ease and at ease. There is neither the desire nor the need to show yourself from the other, unnatural side.

How to distinguish love from feelings of affection: comparison, signs, psychology, test

We have indicated above the symptoms and signs of such a feeling as love. Therefore, we will not go deeper again. Let's talk about affection, which is also often confused with love. Falling in love applies more to schoolchildren and teenagers, but affection is more typical for those partners who have managed to live together.

  • In general, affection is a feeling of closeness that is based on sympathy or love. As you can see, all these feelings are very closely interconnected.
  • In a couple where there is affection, one always gives and the other receives. That is, one loves, and the other turns his cheek.
  • Attacks of jealousy are also more related to affection. The desire to control and completely personally possess a partner does not speak of love at all. Therefore, there is excessive control. There is always room for trust in love!
  • Fear. An important indicator, since an attached person is afraid of losing a partner. Moreover, they are more concerned about material qualities. This is where the excessive attention comes from.
  • Also, it is worth noting that there is no development of partners as individuals. That is, loving people can not only develop together, everyone can have their own hobby or passion.
  • And yet, affection, like falling in love, is based on external qualities.
  • Let's also talk about distances. Attachment can initially lead to sadness, and then, on the contrary, cause a feeling of lightness and freedom.


Therefore, you can easily take a short test:

  1. Again, pay attention to what you like in a partner.
  2. How do you feel after a week off?
  3. You put your interests above those of your partner. Or vice versa?
  4. Now think about your partner’s shortcomings and your attitude towards them

Answer only honestly, and the conclusion can be drawn from the signs described above.

How to distinguish love from a feeling of passion: comparison, signs, psychology, test

The Kama Sutra interprets love in its own way. Every person has three drives: mind, soul and body. In the first case, respect arises, in the second - friendship, in the third - desire (aka passion). Love is the combination of all three qualities together. We won’t go around in circles for long and repeat ourselves, so let’s get straight to the passion.

  • Again, it is based only on physical sympathy.
  • It breaks out like a fire in the forest. But it goes out just as quickly.
  • Passion often forces you to resolve any conflict in bed. Pay attention to how you resolve your conflicts. In love there is always room for calm conversations, but passion overshadows reason.
  • A loving person will never insult his partner, but passion allows barbs and rudeness towards the other half.
  • And an important criterion! Passion can refer to more than one. Love is monogamous (we have already mentioned this above).


If we talk about the test, then it is enough to answer the questions from the previous paragraph. Answer honestly and quickly, and also remember (we already mentioned) aspects such as conflict resolution and flirting on the side.

How to distinguish love from feelings of infatuation: comparison, signs, psychology, test

To distinguish a feeling of infatuation from love, and to understand what feeling overwhelms you, you just need to answer the following questions. The feeling of infatuation is very similar to falling in love, but it can even be called the initial stage.

  • Naturally, answer honestly what attracts you in your partner. Only a few points can be called a hobby. And only external or physical aspects.
  • How often and for what duration is interest shown. Infatuation is so fleeting (yes, falling in love is more permanent in this matter) that a person very quickly switches to another object. Moreover, a person fades away very quickly. He is busy with other things, and only when reminded can he remember his passion.


  • Again, the topic is how conflicts are resolved. With passion, of course, all roads lead to bed, but attraction is expressed through too emotional perception. Yes, a person begins to react very sharply to any comments. And any quarrel turns into a world-class conflict.
  • Do you care about your soulmate? This point plays an important role. Yes, love arises gradually and, naturally, people get to know each other in detail. Hobby is selfish in nature and is aimed only at personal gain.
  • And it is necessary to note this aspect - earthly or supermundane feeling. The fact is that when you are infatuated, you are only interested in earthly needs, which are expressed by thoughts, pleasures and banal actions. Love has no barriers, and for lovers, spiritual closeness comes first.

How to distinguish love from feelings of friendship: comparison, signs, psychology, test

They say that there is never a feeling of friendship between a man and a woman. We will not go too deep into this issue, since this is a “sick” and eternal topic of debate. Perhaps someone's friendship develops into love. Or maybe someone’s feeling of sympathy, on the contrary, will destroy a friendship in a few years. We will consider an example when there is only spiritual intimacy (that is, friendship) or the desire for the body (love) already appears.

  1. How you behave. If it’s easy and relaxed, you’re not afraid to make yourself look funny, then there’s only friendship between you. No, no one experiences tension in love either, but it comes with age. Communication goes to another level, and it is different from all other friendly relationships.
  2. There should be no place for jealousy in friendship. You easily communicate with the passion of a friend (girlfriend) or you can simply discuss the person you like. And no negativity. That is, a person specifically does not want to show his passion in a bad light. Of course, unless circumstances really require it.
  3. Care. No, friends also take care of each other, but lovers do it differently. You cannot allow your loved one to snack on dry meats or junk food (or drink a lot of alcohol), but a friend will sit down for such a meal with you.
  4. Review your time apart. How often do you think about a friend, but think about who he is doing with and what? Friends don’t have such questions. They live their own lives.
  5. How do you feel about your friend’s criticism of you? As a rule, a loving person wants to show his best side. Of course, it’s too early to talk about deep love, but its initial stage will not allow you to listen to reproaches or even humorous barbs addressed to you. A friend’s words are perceived more easily, moreover, you can even laugh at them together.


Of course, you can endlessly consider examples of love and friendship, but to understand your feelings, the above five points are enough.

How to distinguish love from the feeling that you just like a person: comparison, signs, psychology, test

We won't beat around the bush. Since we have considered several options, simple sympathy is similar to ordinary love or infatuation. The only difference is that we can like many representatives. One person you like has beautiful eyes, another has a smile, and the third jokes well. But! They all have negative sides, which we immediately notice.

  • That is, in a simply sympathetic person, we identify only one or two qualities that we like.
  • And this is necessarily either external data, or just some kind of behavior.
  • There is no desire to be around all the time. You can have your own life, but remember your passion only when necessary.
  • When we like a person, we always feel embarrassed and awkward.
  • And sympathy can fade away very quickly, and in general is characterized by its inconstancy. If someone appears with more beautiful eyes, attention will shift to him.

How true love differs from other feelings: psychology

We have indicated what the main features of each of the feelings are and how to recognize them. Therefore, we will not repeat ourselves, but simply summarize the information.

  • Love is a feeling that arises gradually and after a certain time.
  • A person is loved in the big picture, yes, for his soul (as they often say). No, external data is also important, but is not put in first place.
  • Love includes friendship, passion, and spiritual intimacy.
  • Love is not idealized like other feelings. A person is perceived with all the pros and cons. And they love him because he simply exists and is nearby.
  • Love does not require constant presence (like falling in love), control (like affection), and at a distance or over time it does not pass or go out (like infatuation).


  • In love, they always put their soul mate above their hobbies, comforts and even happiness. More precisely, for a loving person it is to ensure that the partner feels good.
  • You can have your own entertainment, hobbies and even different friends. But this does not become a reason for jealousy and conflicts on this basis. This is what love is.
  • We also don’t forget to pay attention to those around us. Love has enough time, attention, and even a piece of your happiness for everyone. Other feelings are simply fixated on one person until they go out. Or until they grow into something bigger and higher.
  • And once again we will touch on the topic of conflicts. In love, quarrels become rare over time. Yes, the reason for this is that you perceive your partner entirely and completely, and with all the shortcomings. Moreover, solving them is also easier. Conversations are calmer, and compromise is easier to find.

Can there be love without being in love?

No, it can't. A lover must definitely go through all these stages of sympathy. Moreover, love also requires friendship and mutual respect. The fact is that nature has thought out everything to the smallest detail.

  • If it were not for hormones and the euphoria of falling in love, then not a single couple would live together for more than a week.
    • Let us remind you that conflicts are normal. After all, two different people are weighing on the scales. If everyone does not begin to adjust the scales on their part, then they will continue to tip and fluctuate.
  • Then the habit kicks in. Yes, her role is also important. There is no need to live only out of habit or attachment; it’s just that at that turning point, when you want to give up everything and run away, it’s that attachment that slows you down.


  • And only then, when you go through the “seven circles of family problems”, learn to put up with and accept your partner for who he is, then love will begin to arise.
  • And then, for its development, you need to constantly work on yourself and your relationships.

How long does love and infatuation last and can infatuation turn into love?

They say “love lasts 3 years.” This is both true and wrong at the same time. This is the period of falling in love. When the butterflies in your stomach have disappeared and you begin to look at the world with a sober look. By the way, for some this period develops differently - from 6 months to 4 years. Love takes a long time to arise and has no specific time. They say it is eternal. Yes, love really can last a lifetime.

Love and Infatuation: a parable

There is a very educational, instructive and touching parable. The essence of the parable is that Love will forgive and tolerate much, except Indifference.

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