Do not believe the person who says that intimacy is not the main thing in family relationships. After all, sex is what provides emotional and spiritual connection, provides physical release, strengthens relationships and establishes an overall favorable atmosphere in the family. Because of this, the problem when a husband absolutely does not want his own wife physically cannot be left to chance.

As everyday practice shows, the reasons for indifference can be very different. To make it easier to find the one that applies specifically to you, they are all divided into blocks and presented in this publication.

Taking care of children

It is a completely predictable situation in which a spouse does not want to have sex after a recent birth, especially if it was a partnership. For some men, the sight of the pains of childbirth causes fear and even disgust, which they find difficult to cope with. In the case of ordinary childbirth, sometimes there is neither energy nor time left for intimate life. The baby requires constant attention, and often sleeps and lives in the same room with its parents, if not sleeps in bed with them at all.

In such conditions, it is quite difficult to fully relax and get maximum pleasure. In addition, chronic fatigue of both parents automatically dulls physical attraction.

Problems and stress

Another option for why a man does not want to fulfill his marital duty is the difficulties associated with his professional activities. If at work he is pestered by his superiors, difficult tasks and goals are set, there is no normal schedule or a full salary, then you should not even dream of intimacy with him.

All a husband needs is peace, solitude and the opportunity to protect himself from all possible irritants. Believe it or not, now sex for him is a routine, a duty, and to maintain good family relationships you need to correctly navigate the situation.

No love or attraction

In the life of every married couple, there may come a period when the husband realizes that the woman no longer attracts him physically, he no longer likes her internally and externally. There may be several reasons for this, but the main one is that the spouses have already gotten to know each other well, do not expect anything new from sex, their feelings are absorbed in everyday and everyday problems.

Again, desire may be absent if the spouse constantly walks around the house in shabby slippers and a greasy robe, does not take care of her appearance and simply causes sexual apathy.

In the latter case, the man loves her, appreciates her, respects her, but does not want her.

Mistress

The presence of mistrust in each other, the same everyday life, difficulties at work and other problems are a direct path to the appearance of a mistress. If your spouse refuses to sleep with you in every sense, then it is likely that he is getting sex on the side.

Health difficulties

In medicine, there are two categories of diseases that negatively affect a man’s sexual activity. Special pathologies cause sexual dysfunction, while general pathologies simply provoke pain and discomfort during sexual intercourse. All of them can be resolved with appropriate therapeutic techniques, but the situation is complicated by the fact that the representatives of the stronger sex themselves even talk about their sexual impotence, preferring to ignore their partner.

Carrying a child

The answer to why a husband does not want his pregnant wife is simple fear.

Harm the baby, cause uterine tone or provoke premature birth. A pregnant woman should be reassured by the fact that pregnancy does not last forever, and the man is worried about her well-being and the health of the future heir.

However, you don’t have to wait for a happy moment, but convey to him the specifics of having sex during pregnancy, look for comfortable and safe positions, or engage in alternative options for satisfying each other.

Options for solving the problem

Having considered all the most common reasons for lack of desire, it’s time to move on to what needs to be done urgently if the husband does not want his wife.

Depending on the provoking factor, the tactics may be as follows:

• Analyze your family life together, down to how you look at home, how many blankets you sleep under, and how often you have dinner together. Find the source of difficulties in sex and try to eliminate them;
• According to the recommendations of a family psychologist, a frank conversation cannot be avoided. It’s better if you can talk calmly and heart to heart, find out the desires and claims of your man;
• Stop nagging your spouse, put things in order in your home, make it cozy and warm, create a comfortable atmosphere and stop openly “blowing your brains out”;
• The reasons for a husband not wanting his wife after childbirth usually go away on their own as soon as the child’s biological rhythms improve, or part of the care for him falls on the shoulders of relatives or a nanny;
• If the lack of sex is the result of your unkempt and unattractive appearance, you will have to do everything to correct the situation. Hairdressers, cosmetology centers, fashion stores and even plastic surgeons and nutritionists will come to help you;
• When a husband does not want a wife, the advice of a professional psychologist will not bypass the issue of intimate and general diversity of life together. Travel, new acquaintances, impressions and even unusual sexual experiences are what revitalize the sexual side of relationships.

Classic tips look like this:

• Organize a romantic dinner with candles, lace lingerie, a bubble bath and aphrodisiacs for appetizers;
• Kiss, hug and caress a man more often, proving your love for him;
• Do not hold back the desire to write or call your husband to say something pleasant or erotic. But be warned. What if you have never done this before, your behavior may be slightly discouraging to your significant other;
• Watch films with erotic content and learn from them new techniques on how to turn on a man and bring him to ecstasy;
• Learn how to give a sexy or relaxing massage.

As you have already understood, even a long-term marriage that is threatening to fall apart due to lack of sexual attraction can be saved if you put some effort into it.

In any marriage, sometimes difficult situations arise, since there are practically no people who understand each other perfectly. Sometimes it's just not clear Why doesn't a husband want a wife? Reasons may be different. One of these problematic situations is the breakdown of sexual relationships. The husband does not want his wife in bed, although he previously showed completely different feelings for her. Why does this happen and what should the spouse do in this case? Let's try to understand the possible reasons and find a way out of this impasse.

Husband cheats with another woman

Of course, the most common reason for a husband's sudden cooling towards his wife is an affair on the side. Sexual relations with another woman take all his strength, and he is simply no longer able (or does not want) to fulfill his marital duty.

If a man not only stops having sex with his wife, but also often stays late at work, has become secretive and taciturn, and gets irritated with his wife over trifles, then the reason is almost obvious. Any woman will immediately understand what's going on.

Solution

The best thing to do in this situation is to talk to your husband. You should not throw scandals and hysterics (if it is difficult for you to control yourself, it is better to take a sedative before the conversation). A conversation is needed in order to figure out what led to such a situation and find ways to solve it. Many marriages break up after the husband’s betrayal, because the wife cannot come to terms with the fact that she was betrayed by her closest and dearest person.

Some women forgive their unfaithful spouses, but then suffer throughout their lives from mistrust and resentment. Of course, the consequences will depend on the characteristics of the relationship and the characters of the spouses. It’s up to you to decide whether to save your family or file for divorce, but in any situation the main thing is to keep your face and not descend into a quarrelsome showdown.

Depression or stress at work

There may be another reason for cooling between spouses - serious problems at work or in other areas of life that occupy all the man’s thoughts. In fact, the male psyche is less stress-resistant than the female, since the fairer sex can afford to throw out their emotions by crying or gossiping with friends, while most men keep everything to themselves.

If a man withdraws into himself, becomes silent, and is in a bad mood most of the time, then it is likely that he is not in the mood for this because of the problems that he has to cope with.

Solution

Parental responsibilities and hidden jealousy towards the child

When a child appears in a family, the life of husband and wife changes dramatically. If previously they devoted their time exclusively to each other, now the mother’s main attention is paid to the child. Many husbands at this time feel unnecessary and lost. Some even begin to feel jealous of the baby.

The birth of a child, the acquisition of a new and very responsible status as a father, is a serious test for any man, so for many, sexual relationships fade into the background. Plus the eternal lack of sleep in the first months, when the child’s sleep pattern has not yet fully formed.

Solution

Young parents should not forget about each other, since harmonious relationships are the secret to maintaining peace in the family. If parents feel cold towards each other, the child also feels it on an emotional level. Try to organize your time so that you and your husband have moments alone.

To improve your sex life, you can try something new: take a bath together, make love on the kitchen table. In addition, it is advisable to teach the child to sleep in a crib from the very beginning: often sleeping together negates the intimacy between spouses.

My wife stopped taking care of herself

Many women, after getting married, relax: they stop using makeup, gain weight, and walk around the house in a wrinkled old tracksuit. A disheveled woman is far from the ideal of beauty, so even the most loving husband after a while begins to look at more well-groomed women, and sex with his wife becomes an unpleasant chore.

Do you feel sexy and desired? If you don’t even want to look in the mirror, then you can only blame yourself for intimate discord. Marriage is not a guarantee that your husband will love you to the grave in any form.

Solution

Take care of your appearance. Update your wardrobe, buy a membership to a fitness club, get a new hairstyle, find videos on the Internet with makeup master classes. Buy yourself some sexy loungewear. It must fit well.

Believe me, your husband will immediately notice the changes and appreciate them. Please your husband and yourself by becoming beautiful and sexy.

Ideas for restoring your sex life

• Go with your husband to an intimate store and buy something interesting that will help diversify your family life. Even a simple nurse costume can ignite a serious flame of passion.
• Buy new sexy lace lingerie and show it off to your husband in all its glory.
• Add aphrodisiac products to your homemade food that increase libido and male power: walnuts, seafood, pineapples, sour cream, avocado, chocolate, garlic.
• If you love to dance, start taking strip classes. This is good for both your figure and your sex life. In a few weeks you will be able to show your husband a beautiful striptease.
• Change the environment. Try making love in a new place. You can rent a hotel room, go to the sauna together, or go out into nature. Fantasize and make your erotic dreams come true together.

Psychologist's comment

The author of the article talks about the most common reasons why a husband stops being attracted to his wife, as well as what can be done about it. Let's take a look at the first of the points described, as the most important, in my opinion: maybe not everything is so simple with it?

Cheating husband

The author of the story writes that “of course, the most common reason for a husband’s sudden cooling towards his wife is an affair on the side.” I think that everything is a little more complicated: “an affair on the side” is already a consequence of the psychological processes that occur between husband and wife.

In other words, it happened that at some point in their life together, the emotional and psychological contact between husband and wife was disrupted, and as a consequence of this, sexual harmony was disrupted - the man’s desire for his wife disappeared.

But if the husband is physically and sexually healthy, then the holy place is never empty, and he will simply find another way to satisfy his sexual needs - with another woman, in communication with whom the emotional climate will be more comfortable for both him and his mistress.

What can be done in this situation

What conclusion can be drawn from this? In fact, men are creatures that are built quite simply: they leave where they feel bad and go where they feel good. If a man goes to his mistress, it means that something has gone very wrong in his relationship with his wife.

Of course, you can blame your spouse for “only needing one thing,” or, conversely, decide that “the wife is to blame for everything - she nags the man for nothing.” But the truth, as we know, is always somewhere in the middle, and both one and the other spouse usually contribute to the cooling between spouses. Therefore, sitting down and calmly “talking about what has been happening between us lately” is a really important and necessary stage in the development and maintenance of relationships.

But before starting such a conversation, it is very important for both husband and wife to talk to themselves first. Ask yourself a few important questions:

• What is happening to me now at this stage of my life, that our relationship is not what I would like?
• What is my contribution to the fact that our sexual relationship is far from ideal?
• What did I do to make them like this?
• What can I do to make them better?
• How can I help my partner if he is having a difficult time right now?

When each spouse asks himself such questions, receives answers to them and gradually begins to do something differently in the relationship, the situation will begin to change.

If this does not happen or it is not possible to resolve these issues on your own, it is possible that the couple should take several consultations with a family psychologist or psychotherapist.

With its help, spouses will be able to better understand what is happening in their relationship and what needs to be done to improve their relationship and improve the emotional climate in the couple. And after this improvement comes the desired changes in sexual relationships...

Very often, men have to visit a sexologist due to impaired desire for their wife. The thought haunts me about why everything was wonderful in an intimate way before marriage, and then it seemed to be replaced.

It is necessary to think through all the situations as a result of which now the husband does not want intimacy with his wife. Reasons can be of a completely different nature.

Sexual relations greatly affect the relationship between spouses. Sex is very important to a woman because she feels desired.

When everything fades away, such behavior has a negative impact on the emotional sphere.

• Crisis birth of a child becomes a common option due to which the husband does not want intimacy with his wife. The reasons for such an attitude towards her will seem absurd, because the beloved woman has now become the mother of his child.

However, from a psychological point of view the situation is much more complicated. Firstly, with the birth of my first child it will take some time before a man rethinks the nuances of the birth process the first-born, which the woman had to go through, because often for a man to be present at childbirth is quite difficult. Besides With the arrival of a new family member, all the thoughts of the young father are occupied with the child. From this moment on, there are only dreams in my head about a worthy future for my son or daughter.

The situation takes a difficult turn when the woman he loved more often became the embodiment of his mother. Even while pregnant, she took care of and looked after her husband. After the birth of a child in the family, all attention is focused on him. The man begins to feel jealous and perceive his baby as a rival.

• Parental concerns . A young family always lacks time to relax. All the energy goes into the baby. An additional problem is living with parents or in a small one-room apartment. After a hard day, you want to fall on the bed and fall asleep. There are no more thoughts about any intimacy.

• Woman on the side . This version is considered the most common among the fair sex. Often a man does not want not only to have sex with his wife, but even to sleep in the same bed. This behavior appears when the husband is in love with another woman, or he has already satisfied all his needs with her. From a psychological point of view, according to experts, a man tries to abstract himself from an unwanted but forced partner, mentally dividing the territory where both are located.
• Domestic problems and stressful situations . It is not uncommon for a husband to come home very tired and all he wants to do is sleep.

The husband already has great responsibilities as the head of the family: making money. Even at work, the bosses start putting pressure on me every day. Of course, after this, the husband does not want intimacy with his wife.

The reasons for this condition accumulate, and the man returns to his wife like a squeezed lemon. He needs rest, and to relax he has to resort to computer games, football, and reading. Nobody wants to fulfill their marital duty just for show.

• No attraction because fell out of love . Over time, a situation arises when a wife ceases to excite a man like a woman. Such behavior towards a woman is developed as a result of a long-term marriage, because addiction and lack of interest in everyday life have not been canceled.

• IN everything that used to be interesting for the couple is now monotonous and boring . There is no same spark, no passion as before. During the time they lived together, the spouses thoroughly studied all of each other’s sexual preferences, tried a lot, but it became boring.
• It is often a phenomenon when wife stops taking care of her appearance , as before. It all starts with days off, when a woman doesn’t worry about how she looks. He puts on the same robe, socks and makes a bun on his head. Gradually, the beloved woman loses her sexuality in the eyes of her husband.

A man sees how on Sunday evening his wife begins to put herself in order for others, but not for herself. She is still dear to him and is in first place, but her husband does not consider her as an object of desire.

• Husband during childbirth - big mistake . In order to keep up with modern times, women want to see their husband at their birth. He watches what is happening and understands that now the woman he loves has become a mother. The attitude towards her is changing radically. In addition, seeing all the pain that she experienced, the man is afraid to cause the slightest harm.
• Breastfeeding in front of your eyes is also considered unacceptable. Observing what is happening, the husband no longer wants intimacy with his wife, and the reasons for this behavior are on a subconscious level. Previously, his wife's breasts were an object of adoration, but now they do not belong to him. Sexual desire is lost, and the man unconsciously perceives his wife now as the mother of his child.

How to solve a problem when a husband does not want intimacy with his wife

In order to resolve the current situation, it is necessary frank conversation. This is, indeed, a very important stage on the path to maintaining relationships between spouses.

Before starting a conversation, you should ask yourself a few questions:

1. Why are relationships no longer the same?
2. What did I do to make them like this?
3. How can I help my wife now in this situation?
4. What can I do to get my relationship back?

After receiving answers to the questions posed, the spouse will begin to change the situation. If nothing can be changed, then it is best to consult a psychologist or sexologist.

As a rule, most of the advice of family psychotherapists comes down to changing attitudes through a radical change in lifestyle, radical actions.

This is quite difficult and not for everyone, but for those who succeed, solving similar problems in the future is a mere trifle.

Recipes for family happiness

• The first thing you need to do is change your appearance . If a husband does not want intimacy with his wife, the reasons often lie in the woman herself, in her behavior or appearance.

It's time to finally change! You can start by purchasing sexy lingerie. It will be good ground for fantasy.

Next you need change your home wardrobe . A casual robe and a bun on the head will cease to excite any man. A little cosmetics on the face will freshen it up and definitely won’t be unnecessary, even if the woman is on maternity leave. This should not be a reason to forget about yourself.

• In the evening, waiting for my husband after work, prepare a surprise . If there is a child in the family, then you can ask the mother or mother-in-law to look after him for one night.
• Drop jealousy will bring a little fire into the marital relationship. The main thing is not to go too far, because all efforts will end in a quarrel.
• Intimate touches. You can add variety to your relationship through unexpected touches. This behavior will allow a man to look forward to meeting his wife.
• Unplanned sex. When a husband does not want intimacy with his wife, all the reasons for this behavior lie in everyday life. It is necessary to bring passion and surprise into the relationship.
• Compliments. It turns out that not only women, but also men love with their ears. It’s not difficult to tell your man how strong and courageous he is.
• Something needs to be done with the body. After childbirth, it changes and often not for the better. During pregnancy, excess body weight remains, and it is difficult to lose those extra centimeters. In addition, after the birth of a child, a woman’s vagina becomes less elastic, which affects the sensations of both spouses.

To strengthen weak muscles, you need to regularly strengthen them with Kegel exercises.

Just like women, men experience postpartum depression. The most important thing is not to miss this moment. The spouse stops sharing problems and withdraws into himself. A similar situation arises when a woman becomes completely absorbed in her child. A man needs to understand his importance in this process. It is necessary to allow him to be alone with the child more often. In addition, verbally encourage how well everything is going in raising the child.

The best medicine against depression will be those who are the cause - this is the spouse and child. You cannot refuse the help that your wife offers. It happens that a woman has no time to talk to a man about his experiences. There is only one way left - to deal with it yourself, and it is best to consult a specialist.

Many families are breaking up because the husband was never able to accept the idea of ​​the head of the family and responsibility for it . A man first seeks his solace in alcohol, another woman, but the time will come when everything will end. Tomorrow will definitely come, and will you want to be alone without your wife and child nearby? Of course not. In order to prevent a sad end in family relationships, it is necessary to plan everything correctly, solve the problem and survive the turning point that has arisen.

Every woman needs to clearly understand that if her husband does not want intimacy with his wife, then the reasons can be very diverse. You can’t start making trouble, because this will push your partner away even more. Without scandals, you should calmly discuss everything and try to find a solution.

Only the mutual desire of the spouses will allow the former passion and emotions to return. If after many attempts there are no positive results, you need to contact a specialist. Sessions with a psychologist or sexologist will help solve the problem in family relationships.

After a certain time of a marriage that is successful in all respects, a cooling occurs between the spouses, including in intimate relationships. Everything changes, moves and changes, especially relationships between people. And at one moment the man suddenly discovers a new feeling in himself: “I don’t want a wife...”. What to do if your former passion has sunk into oblivion, but you don’t want to destroy your family?

What to do if you don't want a wife

Most men go through this poisonous subconscious feeling when one single thought is spinning in their brains: “I don’t want to sleep with my wife.” And it may not be related to the changed appearance of the spouse. More often than not, the reluctance to sleep with your wife is not due to her rounded shape, or even to age-related changes.

Reasons why men refuse intimacy in marriage

Yes, male lust is born in the eyes. But it goes through the brain. The information seen by the eyes is processed by the consciousness, which at the output issues a verdict: “We swam - we know!” or “She is your friend!” This is the best case scenario. A man is not attracted to his wife because:

• He has known her for a long time - several years of marriage.
• He knows her all - every cell and every breath.

That is, a man loses interest in his wife of many years, as an “object of hunting.” You no longer need to “hunt” for her, and you can no longer expect anything unusual from her.

How to solve this problem

Of course, first of all, you need to decide for yourself what exactly you don’t like about your wife? Changed appearance? Her behavior in bed? Or uncomplaining submission to her husband in everything, because the wife completely trusts her husband? What repels?

Did you find the reason? Destroy her! How? Turn on your brains and look there for the notorious “male wisdom”, which representatives of the stronger sex present as opposed to “female logic”.

Options for solving the problem

• Separate for a certain time. Timing is extremely important! For example, my husband should go on vacation alone to the rivers of the Altai Mountains to catch whitefish. Separation will bring passion back into your relationship, and passion can brighten the dullest married life.
• Talk to your wife. She also wants to change the current situation for the better. Agree with her about changing her image, about a swimming pool, fitness and solarium. Doesn't even want to hear?! Buy her an annual subscription to the nearest fitness club - she will have to go there so that the money does not go to waste!
• They say that cheating with another woman can help a man look at his wife with new eyes. What are you saying? “I don’t want to cheat on my wife”? Then change your wife - a wig, long gloves, fishnet stockings, high heels, bright red lipstick and a slim-body dress will turn a decent married woman into a depraved and lustful one. Have you slept with a charming, sweet and kind girl for many years? What if a woman “hostess” appears in front of you, in a leather swimsuit and with a whip in her hand? Try to refuse sex with her... A teacher and a schoolgirl, a policewoman and a thief, a nurse and a maid! How many “other” women have you had, Casanova?!
• Doesn't even want to hear about all of the above? Use mind blowing in relation to your own wife - a typical technique for pick-up artists to seduce a woman. The essence of this technique is that you yourself, in the process of preparing a mind blower, will experience the excitement of a “hunter for fresh prey.” And you put your wife in new, atypical conditions for her.

A roof-raiser is an act that blows your wife away, making her look at you with different eyes, and making your heart beat faster. A typical example of being crazy is giving a bouquet of flowers for no reason. Or even a “brain explosion” - sending your wife a basket of flowers to work. And always with a postcard - from you, your legal spouse. You can take her away from home to the bosom of nature without agreements - like, “stole”. True, in this case, at least 3 days of complete abandonment of the environment familiar to both of you are necessary. Or another example of mind blowing - a joint parachute jump. Or rafting in a team on mountain rivers. Even if you just run a bath for her, throw floating scented candles into the water and cover the surface of the water with rose petals, this will definitely blow your mind away.

In organizing mind-blowing events, the main conditions are surprise and complete secrecy until they are carried out in the intended form. There should be surprise not only in the timing of execution, but also in the chosen process of presenting the mind-blowing experience. For example, if you have never let your wife drive your car in your life, buy her a cooler car than yours. Or give yours, tied with a red bow.

There is also a category of egoists who declare: “I don’t want a wife after giving birth!” The advice to such males is simple: masturbate if you want to save your family and relationships. A woman’s postpartum condition goes away faster if her husband helps her in everything. And after pregnancy, any woman becomes more desirable. Motherhood adorns any spouse, even if you have lived with her for 50 years...

Why did the husband stop wanting his wife? Until recently, everything was fine, but now you’ve stopped having sex with her, or has sex become very rare and mostly on the woman’s initiative? This problem is not so rare for wives who have been married for many years. What to do and what are the reasons for decreased desire in a man?

Let's go through the main options.

The first is physiological reasons.

This is not so rare, especially for men over 40 and especially older. Those. the man himself wants sex, but physiologically it doesn’t work out. (not worth it)

Men's health in the area of ​​sex is quite fragile. I read statistics somewhere that approximately 80% of men over 45 years old suffer from chronic prostatitis, even if he does not yet feel any pain.

There are, of course, other diseases that often manifest themselves latently. (Cancer of the representative gland, problems with veins, etc.)

Therefore, if the husband is closer to 40 years old and even older, then there is a very high probability that the reason for the sharp decrease in desire is in the physiological sphere.

It makes sense to undergo examinations and treatment, since many diseases, if left untreated, affect not only sex, but also, in principle, health.

Some small course of treatment (not self-medication) and you will forget about your problems. The main thing is not to delay, since delaying affects not only the husband’s health, but also his confidence and, in principle, family life. Tomorrow send him to a urologist, let him get tested and undergo treatment. Not always and not all men are ready to go to the doctor and admit that they have some kind of problem. In this case, you, as a wife, simply need to put pressure and force your husband to go to the doctor by almost any means, from the softest to the harshest ultimatums and manipulations! As they say, in this case any means are good.

The second reason is that the husband stopped loving.

And it’s not about the mistress, as many women sometimes think. A mistress rarely reduces a man's attraction to his wife. (Perhaps permanent, with the gradual organization of a new family)

The thing is, I just fell out of love.

And if a man doesn’t love, then he doesn’t want sex especially with this woman.

Here we need to describe a slight exaggeration that often occurs in women. Allegedly, in men, attraction does not depend in any way on whether he likes a woman, whether he is in love with a woman, etc. The main thing is that the penis gets up and then everything goes as planned.

This is not true at all. A man also needs to like a woman, that is, there must be at least minimal love. (I like the look, I like talking and flirting - that's the minimum).

In fact, if a man stops loving a woman, then he may also experience disgust from sex. And he doesn’t care at all where to “insert” it, as for some reason girls sometimes think. (even if your appearance is great)

Why did you stop loving?

A question to which I will very briefly write the answer below.

How to understand that a man has fallen out of love? Try answering a few questions:

— Do you communicate less and less with your husband?

— Even if you communicate, is it mostly about everyday problems?

— Does your communication often boil down to scandals? (Or even worse, there are no more scandals, they were in the past. Now there is something like apathy and silence.)

— During scandals, you and the man often use techniques on the verge of a foul. Can you remember his gross mistakes that are not related to the topic of conversation, you can insult him (again, not on point) and he does the same?

— Do you sleep in different rooms?

If the quarrel is one-time, then during reconciliation there can be quite normal sex.

But if constant quarrels are a manifestation of decreased respect for each other, decreased love, then the man’s attraction naturally decreases. He does not want a woman who is unpleasant to him or even whom he despises. It's obvious.

The woman's appearance in this case plays a rather secondary role, if at all. (In other words, a woman’s appearance can be on point)

The reasons for frequent quarrels can be different, but some of them are in the examples below.

The second reason is that a man wants a woman who loves him or at least has sympathy for him. If a woman doesn't love him, attraction decreases.

This is also a pretty obvious point, in my opinion. Again, there is an obvious conclusion from this. If for some reason a wife begins to respect and love her husband less, then the man’s attraction to her also decreases.

Let's mirror the situation, which I will do quite often in this article. If you have sexual desire for some man, but if at some point you find out that he does not like you, and he has sex with you for money, for a bet or for some other reason, then How will this affect your desire?

I think that, at a minimum, it will decrease significantly or you will generally kick out such a would-be lover.

It's the same for men. If a man knows for sure that you don’t love him, don’t respect him, then why should he be burning with excitement, even if he likes your body and you as a person? Obviously, it will not “burn” or, at a minimum, this burning will be several times less than the wife is used to.

So, why can a husband stop loving his wife??

The first option is when the wife always knows everything better than the man.

A woman understands everything better and knows everything better than her husband. (no matter how things are in reality). If this is not one-time behavior, but a standard one, then sooner or later this behavior will irritate the man.

After all, she knows better not only what is in the apartment, but also how to raise a child. Such a woman knows better what the man himself needs, what he dreams of, how he needs to spend his free time, etc. Naturally, if a woman knows everything better, then she criticizes any opinion of a man, she finds mistakes in a man’s behavior, constantly remembers them, and pokes her nose at them.

If a man is at work for 12 hours and on weekends, then this behavior can still be tolerated somehow. If not, then everything accumulates and sooner or later the man gets tired of it all. He develops some kind of protective mechanisms to combat teachings.

Depending on the situation, this may be alcohol consumption, workaholism (not true, but running off to work), a man may pretend to be “dumb” or something else that is not so important in the context of this article.

The main thing is clear that this type of woman is not at all the kind of woman a man dreams of running after, having sex with, etc. If such behavior (essentially vixens) manifests itself constantly, then the man “closes himself off” from the woman, including in sex.

Yes, sexual tension needs to be relieved, but only when it really “presses.” But running after a woman and wooing her is usually an unrealistic task for such relationships.

What to do? Obviously, you need to stop being “the smartest woman,” especially in matters where it is up to the man himself. (his goals, dreams, recreation, etc.) The second option is to find a husband who is smarter than you.

The second common option is a constant initiative on the part of the woman, when there is no counter initiative from the man.

I’ll say right away that I am not against a woman’s initiative in sex, especially in marriage.

But initiative is different from initiative. If it is within reasonable limits, and a man happily responds to its small manifestation, then that’s great. (Some men are even offended that sex is always only on his initiative)

What if not? If a woman took the initiative, but in response there was nothing or some excuses like “I’m tired” or something else? Then what?

If there is nothing further and we are waiting for a man’s initiative in any form, then this is one thing. That is, this is a continuation of normal relationships. Either the man will show initiative in one form or another after some time, or they will talk and send him for treatment, if the issue is physiological.

What if not? If a woman does not understand that a man may not want her, may be really tired or have physiological problems.

Some women use rather harsh manipulations such as:

- “Are you impotent?”

- “You are not only impotent, but also... and here is a list of his mistakes over the past few years.”

— Some super-duper sexual techniques are used to make a man get hard.

But if you think about it, everything that is described is some kind of sexual violence against a man. The first two examples are rather crude manipulations. The last example is also manipulation. (It’s one thing if sex doesn’t work out if a man has a bad erection. And it’s a completely different thing if he doesn’t want a wife)

But let's remember the roles of men and women in sex. Usually, the man achieves, and the woman gives in. And here everything is tougher than in communication, where a woman’s initiative is not so scary. (At least one-time, when if the man did not answer, then the woman does nothing further)

Here there is no sign of any initiative on the part of the man.

What do we see? The cruelest negative reinforcement of sex.

Just turn the situation around on yourself. Imagine that a man behaves the same way towards a woman. That is, you do not want sex with your husband. But the husband comes and says that you need to fulfill your “marital duty” or somehow “convinces” the woman to have sex, then sex, and then the husband says that you are a lousy lover.

And if this happens not once or twice, but for months and years? Add to this, as I already wrote, a man’s instinct that he should take the initiative in sex.

What do we get?

It is clear that after a few months or years, the husband no longer wants his wife at all. Not with music, not with any dancing, not even with shouts to the whole street that he is impotent.

What to do?

Obviously, you need to start by stopping something that obviously won’t work in the long term, even if this method is showing something now in terms of the amount of sex. (but not quality, of course)

The third option is that the woman has changed too much for the worse since we met, or the man has changed too much for the better.

Husband and wife are links in one chain. At least that's how it should be. They usually move in one direction. If it’s food, then they eat similarly. If one of them plays sports, then the other half tries to do the same. And, of course, we are also talking about professional growth, study, etc.

However, this is not always the case.

Sometimes it happens that a husband and wife, for some reason, begin to move in different directions.

The husband begins, for example, a sharp career growth, and the wife sits at home and does not study or read anything at all. (It also happens the other way around, of course. But in relation to the topic of our article, we are talking about such examples)

Maybe a man starts playing sports, and his wife gets very fat.

In general, the point is that those women who are many times more attractive than his wife begin to pay attention to a man. And everything would be fine if he loves his wife. If the wife has developed self-esteem and does not make gross psychological mistakes in her relationship with her husband. Then he may not even notice her shortcomings, and her appearance may seem to him the best, and her character the most wonderful. (Again, there is usually a limit to such changes before one begins to notice anyway.)

What if not? If love has decreased for some reason? What if the difference between a wife and those women who are now ready to marry a man becomes not just noticeable, but very noticeable or even catastrophic?

Those. women who look an order of magnitude better, are an order of magnitude smarter, have an order of magnitude better self-esteem, are ready to marry your husband, even taking into account the fact that he will have to pay alimony, etc.

I don't know what will happen. Maybe the men will be kept in the family by their debt to the children, maybe something else.

But sexual attraction is not at all as persistent as duty to children. It can decrease significantly.

Again, for better understanding, let's turn the situation around. For example, you have a husband. During your family life, he began to drink, due to overeating, alcohol and lack of sports, he became physically unattractive, mentally, although not completely, he degenerated, at work he began to work in the lowest paid positions and brought home not a salary, but the fact that enough for him to eat himself.

You constantly studied, tried, moved up the career ladder, began to earn good money, watch your diet and figure. You communicate in a circle where people pay attention to you and offer to meet men with a very good income, figure, smart, self-confident, etc.

You do not accept such proposals for meetings, you do not want to break up your family, since you have children together. But will you experience a strong sexual desire for your husband when he drinks and makes advances again?

Obviously not. Most likely, sex will become some kind of rare and random event or disappear from family life altogether.

What to do in this case?

Obviously, every effort must be made to become more valuable in the market of men and women. Try to take care of your appearance (if this is the case), make sure you earn money again, even if it’s small to begin with (if this is the case), restore your circle of acquaintances and girlfriends, develop self-esteem, start studying something, etc.

Do all this not so much for your husband, but for yourself. Try to enjoy the fact that you look better, that you know something that others don’t know, that you have learned to listen to other people, joke, etc.

Generally, the best place to start for women is self-esteem and body image. Almost any gap in the body can be corrected in about six months of training and attention to diet. (any year) You can also raise your self-esteem relatively quickly in a few months of training. With men, I repeat, self-esteem and appearance are very important. Exercises to increase self-esteem are described in the book “How to become more confident in yourself in 3 months.”

So let's summarize. Why doesn't a husband want a wife? There may be several reasons. Perhaps it is a matter of physiology (disease), perhaps it is a matter of relationships and psychology.

Look carefully at your relationship, try to adjust something. If necessary, take your husband to the doctors. In general, as a rule, almost everything can be fixed. Re-read the article carefully and honestly admit to yourself what you may not want to admit yet.

Best regards, Rashid Kirranov.