Love and Science

For many years, world scientists have been trying to understand the question of what makes women fall in love with men and vice versa. There are few conclusions, they are short and we all know them. Men by nature prefer to love with their eyes, and women with their ears. These are not just words - it is actually backed by science. Scientists also say that we fall in love not under the influence of a fleeting impulse, but out of necessity. We subconsciously find the person who will most contribute to the continuation of our family. But recently new surprising facts have been revealed. Scientists have proven that love really exists!

As a result of research, American psychologists have proven that our brain contains separate zones responsible for love experiences. And when our loved one thinks about us, sees us, communicates, these zones become very active. Moreover, these zones “clog” the work of other important zones. For example, the zone responsible for critical understanding of reality, social assessment and anger. Therefore, if your loved one walks around with a constant smile on his face, then he is not crazy, he just truly loves you. Just for what?

Love and the subconscious

No one wants to believe that we are loved only because of the effect of pheromones. But this is largely true. These are substances that are produced along with sweat and, on a subconscious level, attract a sexual partner. Pheromones act indiscriminately; we cannot always explain the principle of their “work”. That is why “good” girls sometimes choose “bad” guys, or outwardly unattractive girls fall in love with beautiful girls, and at the same time their feelings are mutual. We often explain this attachment between people who are unlike each other in our own way: opposites attract. This is not entirely true in essence, but the result is very similar to the truth. Two people who are similar in every way can easily get bored together. Conflicts can often arise on this basis. And yet, if two people have a similar temperament, then living in a family is not at all easy for them. If both are passive, then there is no one to make decisions, things simply remain unresolved, problems accumulate like a snowball. If both partners are leaders, then the situation is also not easy. Everyone will strive for leadership, will not yield in resolving issues, and will not tolerate insubordination.

Sometimes, in order to save yourself from questions, you can go up and ask your loved one directly why he loves you. But the answer usually doesn’t suit us much. Most likely, the partner will begin to list individual external traits or character traits. For example, your boyfriend may say: “You are so beautiful, cheerful, not like everyone else, etc.” An older man, if he thinks to say something, then something like: “You are caring, sexy, affectionate, original, etc.” Please note that this will be an ordinary “standard” set of those qualities that attract men in women, and women in men.

Sometimes such an answer will indeed look more like a stereotype than a plausible one. But on a subconscious level, we are loved for a completely different reason. For example, a girl suddenly fell in love with a man twice her age. Why did this happen? He can be perfect in any way, but in general this happened only because the girl grew up without a father and subconsciously looked for a man who could be her support, protection, who would raise her due to his greater life experience. On the other hand, it may be that the girl had a father, but the relationship with him did not work out. This further influences the choice of a partner older than oneself.

It happens that a person is initially inclined to suffer and arouse pity for himself. He chooses a despotic partner who will constantly humiliate and suppress him. This is why certain types of women can steadfastly endure beatings and betrayals by their husbands, or a man can choose powerful and selfish women, subsequently being “under their thumb.” At the same time, they all sincerely love each other.

Love and "self-hypnosis"

As children, we all somehow figuratively imagined our other half. Moreover, sometimes, when we close our eyes, we can clearly see how they love us, how they care for us, we see in detail our ideal wedding, we dream of having children. It is believed that it is precisely those women who were able to create a clear model (necessarily positive) of their adult life from childhood who will receive exactly such a life in the future. It has been proven that love can be instilled in oneself. We instill in ourselves so much of our future ideal feeling that it is literally drawn to us over the years. True, sometimes the details do not match, but the essence remains the same. Such women are always happy in marriage; in such families, partners love each other selflessly.

It also happens, for example, when a girl has dreamed all her life of meeting a rich man who, in a fit of love, will shower her with precious gifts, fashionable clothes, and go with her on a trip around the world. Having matured, she meets such a person on the way. He is decent, a businessman and not greedy at all. This means she will definitely love you. It is already clear what will be the main advantage of a man for such a girl. However, there is no need to immediately condemn her for selfishness. As a man, she will love him madly, truly. Because such is the power of her self-hypnosis. True, if not for his financial situation, he simply would not have fit her “children’s standard.” Such a man would not become wise, gallant and attentive for her, because he would not have the original basic quality.

We often say: “Love is evil...”. However, love is not as irrational as it seems - people love each other for a reason. You can, if you wish, find your own explanation for everything. Really, why? It is better to love without looking back and with an open heart.

During communication between two people, channels are formed between their auras through which energy flows flow in both directions. If people like each other, then an intense energy exchange occurs between them. And spiritual connections arise. They can affect a person both positively and negatively.

Bound souls

The more passionate the partners are about each other, the stronger and more active the channels (mental connections) are formed. It is in this way that strong relationships arise that are not subject to distance or time. For example, a mother always feels her child, no matter where he is, and no matter how many years have passed since their last meeting.

It also happens that, meeting an old acquaintance after many years, a person feels as if they parted just yesterday. Channels can persist for a very long time - years and even decades. That is, channels connect not only bodies, but also souls.

Healthy relationships form bright, clear, pulsating channels. In such relationships there is trust, intimacy, sincerity and there is enough room for personal freedom. Here there is an equivalent exchange of energy, without distortions.

Broken Hearts

If the relationship is unhealthy, that is, one partner depends on the other, then the channels are heavy, stagnant, and dull. Such relationships deprive people of freedom and often boil down to mutual irritation and bitterness. If one of the partners wants to completely control the other, connections, like ropes, can wrap around the aura from all sides.

When relationships gradually die, the channels become thinner and weaker. Over time, energy stops flowing through these channels, communication stops, people become strangers. If people separate, but the channels are still preserved, then they continue to reach out to each other. It also happens when one partner cuts off spiritual ties and closes off from further interaction, while the other partner is still attached to him and tries in every possible way to break through the energy defense in order to restore the relationship.

In the process of forcibly breaking the channels, the separation is very painful. It takes many months or years to recover from this. Here, much depends on how ready a person is to accept the free will of another and free himself from dependence developed over a long time. It's difficult, but possible.

The soul remembers the partner

Most channels built in everyday communication disappear without a trace over time. In the case of close relationships, the channels remain for a very long time, even after separation. Particularly strong channels arise during sexual and family relationships.

Every time you have sexual contact with a new partner, new spiritual connections are formed that bind people together for many years, or even throughout their entire lives. In this case, it does not matter at all whether the sexual partners managed to learn each other’s names - a connection in the case of sexual contact is formed and lasts for a very long time. And if there is a channel, then there is a circulation of energy along it. And what quality of energy comes is difficult to say, it depends on the characteristics of the other person. If he is completely negative, then the “bonded” partner will feel oppressed and not understand what’s going on.

In people who live nearby for a long time, the energy fields adapt to each other and work in unison. Intimate relationships require field synchronization. We often notice that people who live together for a long time become similar to each other even in appearance.

Repulsive emotions

If the characteristics of the auras of two individuals are very different, then it will be difficult for them to communicate. When energy flows that are alien to it invade the field, a reaction of repulsion, fear, disgust appears - “It makes me sick.”

When a person does not want to communicate with someone, he closes his energy field, and all energy flows emanating from the other person are reflected. In this case, the other person gets the impression that he is not being heard, as if he is talking to a wall.

Every person has the right to enter or not to enter into energetic interaction with the world around him, but it is impossible to completely abandon these contacts. People are accustomed to dividing the world into “bad” and “good”, attracting the good and repelling the bad. What can you do - these are the properties of our spiritual world. But times are changing, and now the world strives for unity, the merging of all sides, facets of the world into one whole.

We must respect the individuality and different experiences that each person has. But remember that any connection has consequences. And what they will be - everyone is free to choose for themselves.

On the one hand, you can see many happy and loving couples, but it is not clear, because you need to continue to love and be together. There are many reasons for this, but you need to know the most basic reasons for separation so as not to end up in the same situation.

In this article, psychologists will tell you about why do people break up when they love each other, how to prevent this in your family or relationship. After all, outwardly we see happy couples, but internally we understand that these people will soon separate.

'Cause love isn't real

Not everyone understands what love is and accordingly believe that if people are together, then they love each other. Today it is rare to see people who are truly in love and this is a big problem. People have not learned to take care of what they have and began to invent the illusion of love, creating it even on the Internet. The reason why people break up when they love each other is because they don't really love each other and haven't loved each other.

Because there are no common interests

The main reason why do people break up the fact that there are no common interests and views on life. These people just meet and they don’t even have anything to talk about with each other. Because of this, they break up, without even trying to find at least something in common, which can definitely be found in every person, if there is a desire. Find out: how to find a worthy husband, since women are looking for a real man, but they themselves do not want to become real women.

They don't understand the meaning of further relationships

Often all relationships are created on emotions and when a couple begins to think logically, they do not find the meaning of further relationships and this is the reason why people break up when they love each other, because their love was just affection.

Interests have changed

It happens that people date for a long time, but with age their interests and outlook on life change and they need something different in life. Differences in interests begin and, as a result, people break up. But if there was a desire, we could stay together and form new common interests.

People rush to create relationships

Especially modern youth, they are constantly in a hurry to get somewhere and try to try everything. Here why do people break up when they love each other, because they confuse falling in love, affection with true love. True love will never allow people to separate and betray each other, and this is a problem, since few people truly love. Don’t rush into a serious relationship, be friends and hang out together for at least 1-2 years. Then it will become clear whether you need each other spiritually or not.

Betrayal, betrayal

The main reason why people break up when they love each other is, of course, betrayal and betrayal in a relationship or family. People do not love each other and seek pleasure in other people, hiding it. When the truth comes true, the couple is disappointed and breaks up. After all, there is no point in living with someone who cheats and gives.

Love disappears

Many believe the reason why people break up when they love each other, then that love has gone and passed. This does not happen, love cannot pass, since true love always exists and will be in our hearts, we just don’t want to feel it, and we continue to create artificial love for ourselves and believe in it. For this reason, not only couples, but also families break up within three years of marriage. Find out: how to meet a guy to create a truly lasting relationship for life.

The main thing is not to rush to create a family and relationships, because no one is stopping you from just being friends and dating at first. And when you realize that you love, then after three years, you can create a serious relationship and family. And if there are no feelings, then you will simply remain friends, and will not suffer like many others because of what did not happen, because of affection, and not because of love.

Always keep love in your heart and then you will never stop loving and will fall in love with the person who really loves you and wants to be with you all your life.

This question can be rephrased. Why, or better yet, why does a person eat food every day? The answer is simple - in order to live. With food, the body receives all the substances necessary for life, vitamins and microelements, and therefore energy. Love is the same energy, the same food, the same daily nutrition, but only for the soul.

Why does a person need love?

The soul lives, develops, creates, grows only thanks to love, just like our arms, legs move, heart beats, blood constantly moves in a circle, and the brain functions only thanks to nutrition. It is not difficult to imagine what can happen if a person stops eating and drinking. Loss of strength, illness and - ultimately - inevitable death. What can happen if a person stops loving a person?

Peace of soul and body

She once said that in our troubled world there are many people who die of hunger, but there are even more who have heart failure from lack of love. Indeed, from a lack of love, from the impossibility or inability to love a person, inevitable hunger sets in, the soul gets sick, little by little becomes exhausted and leaves this world. People who perceive the world literally, who accept as truth only what they can see with their own eyes, what is easy to touch, perhaps hear or touch, will be skeptical about this statement. Well, let it be... Soul, faith, love - this is what is impossible to touch and what is unimaginable to see, but this is what is actually primary, what determines and creates the most tangible reality. However, even believers call this a miracle...

And again about love...

Androgynes

In his dialogue “The Symposium,” Plato tells a legend about once-existing creatures - androgynes, who combined both masculine and feminine principles. Like the Titans, they became proud of their perfection - unprecedented strength and exceptional beauty, and challenged the gods. The gods got angry... And as punishment they divided the androgynes into two halves - a man and a woman. Cut in two, they could not find peace for themselves; they lived in constant search for each other. A fairy tale, but it contains a hint of why a person loves a person. Love is the constant pursuit of wholeness. However, here too there is a certain paradoxical pattern - having found our soulmate, we merge in a close embrace, with every breath, with every cell feeling the harmony of unity, even a certain monolithicity - “one-single-whole-indivisible-eternal”, we again strive for chaos - to the loss of each other, so that our soul again plunges into torment, torment, suffering for what was lost and gathers on a new journey to love.

At first glance, it seems that this is a vicious circle, meaningless and merciless. But let's return to the myth about androgynes. Having become one, they fell into pride - narcissism and self-praise, which only leads to decline and degradation, and therefore to a complete stop and disappearance of the continuity and infinity of life. Heaven is fruitless and meaningless without hell, good without evil, life without death. Each time, setting out on a new journey to love, we learn a new facet, a new law of love, we give one more of the infinite number of answers why a person loves a person, thereby providing new super-powerful energy for the work of the perpetual motion machine of life.

One feeling for life

The world is endless in its diversity, as is love. A person can love one person’s entire life, parting, finding each other renewed again, betraying, forgiving, living under one roof, or, conversely, all their lives at a distance from each other, and thereby coming to love, to harmony through the soul of one person. In our minds there is an image of ideal love, one for life. We dream about it, we strive for it, and even the most callous cynics carefully keep this bright picture from the cover of a magazine under their pillow so that no one will ever guess or even dare to think about what is really going on in their souls. Where this idea of ​​love came to us from, whether it is true or a utopia is unknown.

Lost Paradise

I repeat - we all strive for the ideal, for the search for the other half, which was originally given to us by the gods, in order to once again become perfect - anrogynous. One part of us believes in the absolute without any doubt, and the other part suggests checking it out. And, probably, swinging the scales first in one direction and then in the other is what we need - the process of learning love. After all, what is important is not the final goal, not the moment of balancing, not the moment of unification, but the path itself. What will it be like, who will we unexpectedly bump into around the corner, who will we meet, who will we glance at briefly, and who will make us suddenly and at once look intently into the eyes of another, whom we will invite for tea, and whom we will not even allow on the threshold... And why in the result will come - this is the answer to the question of why a person loves a person, which, in fact, is a great mystery.

People who don't know how to love...

Looking at an iceberg floating in the ocean, it is impossible to guess or guess what it really is.

The tip of the iceberg is what a person demonstrates to others, and sometimes to himself - after all, it’s easier not to ask questions. But what is really hidden under the dark surface of the water? Soul, self-love, love for people, faith, talents... A lot of things. Don't measure, don't weigh, don't get to the very bottom. As Mikhail Epstein said, love is such a long affair that one life is insignificant, so get ready to spend eternity with it. Thus, any assumption we make about whether this or that person is capable of love or not is an illusion. And if we take as a basis the concept of “soul” - the divine essence of man - then the assumption of such a thought is completely impossible...

How to understand that you love a person...

Francois La Rochefoucauld once remarked that there is only one love, but there are thousands of its counterfeits... The great French writer, of course, is fair, but at the same time he is not. Let's imagine love in the form of a school. There are elementary, middle and high grades... First graders learn to write, hold their hands correctly, draw sticks, circles.... Further - more: numbers, addition, subtraction, multiplication tables, equations, trigonometry. Each new stage in learning is impossible without the previous one. You can't jump from first class to fifth class. However, often a high school student, looking back, perceives all the previous steps, all his suffering, torment, or victories as funny, ridiculous, even stupid. How could he fail to solve the “2+2” example, forgetting that today has come only thanks to past mistakes and achievements.

All this applies to love. Each person, each soul is at its own stage of development, at its own level of knowledge, in a certain class. And this is not always determined by age. For one, intense passion is love. For others, it’s falling in love. The third is ready to fall on the edge of a bottomless abyss. And the fourth is looking for clarity and tranquility in love... And each of them is right and at the same time wrong. What a person feels at the moment is his truth, another step towards the truth. Therefore, you just need to listen to your heart and follow only it. It is the best teacher and helper. And the question of how to understand that you love a person disappears by itself. By asking it, we do not seek to understand ourselves, but are afraid of their consequences. We seem to be asking, can I fall in love... But in fact, no one can forbid loving or not loving, and nothing will protect you from possible mistakes. If feelings appear, albeit immature, even naive and shallow, it means that they are needed for something and do not need explanation or confirmation, especially from the outside. The words of M. McLaughlin that those who fall in love for the first time seem to know everything there is to know about life - and, perhaps, he is right - are the best confirmation of this.

Great secret

Neale Donald Walsh has a wonderful story-parable about a Little Soul who one day came to God and asked him to help her become who she really is. God was surprised by such a request, because she already knows her essence, realizes herself as who she really is. However, knowing and feeling, feeling are completely different things. Well, said and done, and God brought to her another of His creations - a Friendly Soul. She agreed to help her. In their next earthly incarnation, the Friendly Soul will pretend to be bad, lower its vibrations, become heavy and commit some terrible act, and then the Little Soul will be able to manifest its essence, become what it was originally born to be - forgiving, endless love and all-encompassing light. The little soul was surprised and very worried about the fate of the assistant. But the Friendly Soul assured her that nothing bad would happen. Everything that happens in life happens only because and in the name of Love.

All souls through centuries and across distances dance this dance. Each of them was both up and down, right and left, good and cynical evil, victim and torturer, and there is only one answer to everything that exists - people meet each other to show themselves and learn love. So it is impossible to fully understand why people love each other, why we love some and neglect others, why we are ready to put up with the most disgusting qualities of one person, but are unable to forgive the little of another, why love often becomes synonymous with causeless attacks of despair, mental torment and disappointment. Or rather, we can guess about some unwritten laws of the universe, try to delve into it, see what is hidden behind the front side, what the back side is... However, making efforts, trying and trying is all we are capable of. All our attempts are ultimately doomed to failure. Why? Yes, because we are not given the opportunity to touch the bottom with our hands, and we do not need to. This is not our task. God is the creator of everything. We are only invited to live, feel, experience, perceive and be filled...

Conclusion

What more can I say? American poet, offered her version: “Love is everything. And that’s all we know about it...” It’s hard to disagree, because as soon as it seems to us that all the lessons have been completed, that all the laws have been studied, and the theorems have been proven, some unknown, but super-powerful force offers us new events, unfamiliar feelings and experiences. And we, diving headlong, realize how large this ocean is and how small and insignificant we are compared to it.