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Looking for a serious answer to serious question website I turned to several sources.

Is it possible to be friends with a man?

To the question website psychologist Svetlana Malkina answers:

I think that friendship between a man and a woman is possible only in one case: if they are ex-spouses. And there were no unresolved issues left between them: property was divided quite peacefully, there was agreement on the issues of raising joint children, each new family or your own, absolutely independent from ex-spouse life.

In this case, a man and a woman, knowing each other well and experiencing mutual respect, can be friends. That is, keep very close, trusting relationship without any sexual connotation.

In all other cases, I'm afraid, it will not be about friendship, but about unrequited love. That is, one person is friends, and the other secretly or openly loves. Why is pure friendship impossible? Because instincts are greatest power. And this is how a person is designed, that his basic, sexual instinct is activated almost simultaneously with sympathy. And where there is sex, there is no need to talk about friendship, right?

© thinkstock Writer Oles Buzina is sure: friendship between a man and a woman is possible!

Friendship between a man and a woman is possible if they are not interested in each other sexually. This happens. The basis for friendship in this case may be some common cause. For example: a man and a woman are fascinated by military artifacts of the first quarter of the twentieth century. Why shouldn’t they become friends against this background? A man and a woman can write books together or collect badges with passion.

Grandfathers and grandmothers can be friends. True, grandfathers rarely live to the age when they can sit on the rubble and make friends under warm sunshine with my grandmother. And 70-year-old grandmothers would be happy to make friends with grandfathers, but they are not, they moved to another world at 63. But that's another story!

A man and a woman, if they are passionate individuals and not just creatures of different sexes, can be friends, that’s for sure!

“Is it possible to be friends with a man?” the site asked Inna Tsymbalyuk

“I communicate with men very easily,” Inna answered. - But you can hardly call them friends. After all, friendship is complete trust and openness. And if I can talk to a man about everything except my affairs of the heart, then he is no longer a friend, but a friend, a good acquaintance.

© thinkstock I think that in close, friendly relationships between a man and a woman, someone always loves and someone is friends.

Girls take advantage of men, dragging them into friendship territory!

Anatoly, a system administrator, complains about his bitter fate

In my life, several times I found myself in a stupid situation when a girl called me her friend, “rewarding” her with revelations about anything, even confessing about her sex with another guy. She asked for advice in all matters of life, and willingly went with me anywhere. And she was terribly proud that she had a boyfriend - a friend.

But it never even occurred to me to call her my friend! What the hell kind of friendship can there be between creatures of different sexes? She tells me about sex with her boyfriend, but I don’t know which side I should turn so that she doesn’t notice the erection!
- find out what kind of man your inner “I” dreams of

Friendship between a woman and a man is impossible! Believe me, if a guy starts being “friends,” it means he’s already in love. And girls, shamelessly hugging a male “friend,” simply enjoy his feeling, that’s all! This is cruel.

There is friendship between a man and a woman!

Word to Tatyana, artist.

© thinkstock Eight years ago, already married, I met a man. He was also married. Almost from the first minute we met, we could not talk enough to each other. Did you want sex? Very! But it happened five years after we met and... And suddenly it turned out that sex changed everything. That we have lost something more important. By that time, both he and I had already gone through a divorce, were free and spiritually very close.

But at some point we realized that the best thing that could be between us is friendship without the slightest admixture of sexuality. That sex ruins everything. He married a second time, I have my own personal life. But we are friends, truly friends with each other!

He says he's never had more worthwhile friend than me. And I know that there is a person in the world who will instantly respond to my call, an offer to meet, any request for help. How do our other halves feel about our friendship? My boyfriend is jealous. And his wife treats me like a senior mentor - she calls me when they quarrel and asks for advice.

Sometimes it seems to me that we all belong in a madhouse.

Another option for a relationship that is questionable in terms of prospects is friendship! With the person you love...

Is it worth being friends with the one you love?

My friend Lesya is simply a beauty. She is smart, sexy, knows how to present herself and turn heads. All the guys I know are crazy about her! Everyone... except Tolya. Tolya and Lesya. Lesya and Tolya. This couple was inseparable for more than five years. Best friends! Tolik was the only male who did not succumb to Lesya’s charms. He was not indifferent to her. On the contrary, he often repeated: “Lesya, I adore you! You are so good!

Apparently, Lesya was too good to throw away all these stupid friendly habits and meet as normal people. They went to the cinema together, called each other almost every evening, went out of town, walked and even traveled.

“You know, if you don’t take into account the fact that we don’t have sex, everything is just perfect,” said Lesya, “it’s like an ideal platonic romance, only... I would still like Tolya to love me as a woman. Otherwise I feel insecure. What prospects can we have? Everything will collapse like a house of cards if he meets his true love».

Unfortunately, Lesya turned out to be a prophet. During the five years of their friendship, Tolya's girls replaced each other too quickly for Lesya to have time to become jealous of someone. And so, years later, when most people already perceived them as a couple in love, Tolya finally fell in love for real... not with Lesya.

The girl's despair knew no bounds. This was the greatest collapse of all hopes!

“Five years wasted!” Leska howled. “Five years!” I was sure that the day would come when he would not be able to live without me. It turns out that this relationship had no prospects!

In fact, friendship with your beloved man is just an excellent prospect for a further romance. After all, since a guy communicates with you, it means that he is interested in you as a person, you have something to talk about, and you know each other well. And this, you must admit, is already very promising. It's just a matter of small things - he must see a woman in you. Sexy and desirable.

By the way, many men have been friends with girls for years precisely in the secret hope that one day it will develop into something more. They just don’t dare take the first step, so as not to scare away the object of their adoration and lose you forever.

So a relationship with a friend may well turn into a promising romance, provided that you are attracted to each other sexually.

By the way, it is the love that grows from friendship that can be the most durable and deepest. After all, this is not just a flash of passion, superficial love or a whim. This is the true attraction of two people with similar interests and outlooks on life. Excellent material for working together on the depth and brightness of your feelings!

Why do we fall in love with unavailable men?

The forbidden fruit is sweet. Maybe that's why we are sometimes so attracted to unavailable men? But is there a chance of happiness with someone who is on your blacklist of young people?

Of course, rules are made to be broken. And yet the principles women's solidarity They demand that we not even look in the direction of other people’s men. In particular, flirting and any provocations towards the boyfriends of our sisters or close friends are strictly prohibited.

What to do and how to be in difficult situation“I'm crazy about someone else's man”?

To begin with, you should try to calm down and look at the situation soberly. The prospects for your future together are completely unenviable. After all, if you launch an active campaign, then at a minimum you will lose your girlfriend, and at maximum you will completely turn a man against you. Maybe, of course, he will be flattered by your love. But he is unlikely to want to build a relationship with a girl who does not hesitate to take him away from her close friend. After all, this looks too much like betrayal.

To get rid of a love obsession, analyze the nature of your hobby. Try to understand why this man attracted you so much. What did you find in him that others don’t? Maybe it's all about the eternal women's competition, excitement and the desire to prove to everyone around that you are no worse, if not better, than your friend.

Or you look at him with a hazy look. Perhaps, looking at their romance with a friend from the outside, you see everything in pink color. You admire the way he cares for her, you are jealous and want it to be the same for you. But you can’t see their romance in all its details and nuances. You are unlikely to be aware of all the flaws in his character.

In a word, remember the well-known proverb: it’s good where we are not. And ask yourself: is it worth losing friendship for the sake of a deceptive mirage of love?

Do you love him, but he is unavailable?

He seems to treat you well, there seems to be even a hint of flirtation in his communication with you... Or maybe it’s just politeness? Maybe he talks to all girls like that? Sometimes relationships with men can be extremely confusing. How do you figure out if you have a chance?

Several years ago I found myself in very difficult situation! I really liked one guy. He was good-looking, witty, charming and... outrageously unemotional. Not to me in particular, but to everyone in general! An excellent actor, he easily hid his feelings and emotions. However, with my characteristic self-confidence, I decided that I could crack this tough nut.

Relying on my then rudimentary knowledge of psychology, I began to carefully test the waters. He touches me often. So he wants intimacy? Or maybe he's just a kinesthetic learner. Kinesthetic learners generally go easy on physical contact with anyone! It turns out that this doesn't mean anything. He flirts when talking to me. But he also flirts with other girls. He enthusiastically asks me about work, hobbies, and personal life. Or maybe it's simple politeness.

In a word, I was terribly tormented, trying to understand whether something could work out for us or whether I was inventing all this flirting for myself. If he likes me, then why doesn't he make any moves? So I doubted until he moved to another city, and we completely lost track of each other.

But after some time, fate brought us together again. By that time, I already had a permanent boyfriend and I was basically burned out. When a person is not in love, he becomes very bold. Tormented by curiosity, I once asked: “Tell me, but then, a few years ago, did you like me?” Imagine my surprise when I received an affirmative answer. “So why didn’t you make this clear?!” – I was surprised. “Well, I’m a man. It is not proper for a man to show his feelings. Showing your feelings means showing your weakness,” the ex-hero of my dreams told me.

The moral of this cautionary tale simple. The most unpromising thing that can happen in love is a lack of frankness. We girls are taught from childhood to be cunning, to play the most sophisticated social games and never be the first to admit your feelings to a man. But with all this, we rarely take into account the fact that men also do not always play openly. Multi-layered lies and carefully disguised feelings kill any prospect of happiness together.

Considering this, as well as Tatyana Larina’s romantic experience, maybe it’s not so scary to approach the guy first and say: “You know, I really like you.” This is not yet a declaration of love and, in fact, does not oblige you to anything at all, but nevertheless it will help bring clarity to your relationship and find out whether there is a prospect, and if so, what kind.

Psychologists conducted a survey of almost a thousand people of both sexes, and it turned out that women, on the contrary, do not want to hear about friendship with a man.

NO LONGER FRIENDSHIP, NOT YET LOVE

Let's try to clear up this confusion. The fact is that both the basis of friendship and the basis of nascent love is mutual sympathy. Any sympathy, according to psychoanalysts, is in the nature of sexual attractiveness. It is completely incomprehensible what prevents two healthy young people of different sexes, who like each other and who, as they believe, are on friendly terms, deepen and expand these relationships, as they say. In this case, friendship hides some kind of secret. Most likely, one of the friends simply does not notice the secret love of the other, which he, due to certain circumstances (the presence of a friend of another sympathy, his own moral or marital shackles) masks selfless friendship. This type of friendship between a man and a woman ends either smooth transition to a love relationship, or is cut off by one of the friends when the thicker-skinned friend goes too far in revealing his love affairs on the side.

But here time goes by, love, having reached its apogee, passes into other possible forms(affection, mutual respect, etc.). At the stable stage love relationship, as, say, between spouses living in peace and harmony, there can be no talk of any friendship either. After all, friendship is “half of you and half of me,” as it was sung in a once popular Soviet song. Such a relationship with a woman is impossible, she will definitely demand more than half, and the man, like it or not, will have to reckon with this: there is nothing to be done - the weaker sex.

But it happens that love passes calmly, smoothly, without strain or passion. The division of property, separations, and long showdowns are behind us. And a mature, intelligent relationship, reminiscent of friendship, is established between a woman and a man. Perhaps it is former lovers who are able to be friends.

Now let’s return to the psychological survey, according to which women abandoned friendships with men. A woman is designed in such a way that she will never forgive a man for a non-sexual attitude towards her, even if this man as a lover does not interest her at all. She never stops subconsciously hoping that ex-lover will again want to resume what was once not a friendly relationship.

So, is friendship between a man and a woman still possible? Let us answer evasively: between a man and a woman, it is certainly possible. But between a woman and a man - here the question, perhaps, will be left open.

NOT FRIENDLY SIGNS

Let's say you have a female friend (if you are a man) or a male friend (if you are a woman). There are signs by which you can reliably determine whether this is actually a friend or just a lover who agrees to be a friend because it is impossible to get more:

1. Your friend always speaks negatively about your crush.

2. A friend tolerates your capricious and grumpy character and never “in a friendly way” sends you to hell.

3. Sometimes a friend is thoughtful and silent, blushes or cries at random.

4. A friend rarely does something for himself, more and more often for you. Moreover, when you don’t ask him about it.

5. As soon as you joke a little about your “friendly” relationship, it gives off a strange, overly violent reaction.

6. He is embarrassed to change clothes in front of you and look bad.

7. He easily texts and emails you email, but cannot say the same thing.

8. Gets offended or makes a fuss if someone you're dating appears.

Since ancient times, people believed that just being friends woman and a man cannot, and they were allowed to live together only after marriage. Now times have changed dramatically and so have the relationships between men and women.

Nowadays, no one is surprised when a man and woman work together, play sports, relax, travel and spend weekends. At the same time, it is not at all necessary that a romantic relationship arise between them. Of course, a man and a woman can just be friends, but pure friendship between them is quite a rare occurrence. What prevents a man and a woman from just being friends?

One of the most important reasons obstructing friendship between a woman and a man is sexual attraction. Women expect more trust and emotionality from intergender friendships, which becomes the cause of sexual tension. If between friends of the opposite sex it comes to intimate relationships, then the woman can no longer accept the man as a friend. She expects him to declare his love and propose marriage.

Men believe that sex cannot become cause of friendship destruction, it only makes it stronger. In their opinion, only sexual attractiveness makes possible friendship between a woman and a man. However, men are sure that friendship between a man and a woman cannot be compared with sexual relations. Friendship brings much more satisfaction and benefit than sex. It is of higher quality and higher quality.

With a female friend you can communicate to more interesting and current topics than with male friends. Women believe that having a man friend is great happiness. Friendship with him is easier and more honest than with friends. Next to a male friend, a woman feels protected and strong; she can communicate with him without a shadow of envy and malice, which accompany many representatives of the fair sex when communicating with their friends.

It is very difficult to distinguish friendship between woman and a man from love. Just like from hatred, from friendship to love - one step. Apparently, therefore, public misunderstanding can become a serious obstacle to the continuation of friendly relations between a man and a woman. Family members, work colleagues and friends see people of different genders not as friends, but as lovers. This most often becomes the reason that prevents a man from being friends with another woman other than his wife or a woman with another man other than her husband.

Indeed, friendship can be distinguished from love. not easy, they have a lot common features. But friendship is more than love. Loving friend each other, people idealize reality and the object of their love. In most cases, lovers are united only sexual desire, and there is no friendship between them. Very often lovers do not find general theme for communication, they do not trust each other, they are jealous and create scandals on the topic: “Who owes whom?”

Friendship between a man and a woman is built on mutual trust, community of interests and affection. True friends spend time together, communicate and help each other in difficult situations. They are always there, regardless of the circumstances. You don’t need to share anything with a friend; he doesn’t betray or cause trouble. Life is much more interesting with friends, especially if they respect each other and have general views. True friends do not envy, they rejoice with all their hearts for their friend’s successes and accept him for who he is.

To find out what feelings experiences your friend comes to you, ask him the question: “What attracts him most about you?” If he answers that he likes your appearance and mannerisms, then, most likely, he feels more towards you. tender feelings. Friends don't pay attention a lot of attention on each other’s figure, clothes, hairstyle and other external qualities; there is no jealousy or mistrust between them.

Friendship between a woman and a man It is very fragile and can easily and easily be damaged. To prevent this, do not give even the slightest reason for the possibility of other relationships than friendship. Don't be overly interested in your friend's personal life and avoid situations that might trigger intimacy between you.

Don't communicate with friend on topics concerning him sex life, do not tell him about your personal life in such detail that he becomes interested in you as a member of the opposite sex. Is it really possible to behave this way?

Wrong was A.P. Chekhov, who claimed that a man can be friends with a woman only after sleeping with her? That is, without romantic relationships, there can be no friendship between a man and a woman. Undoubtedly, sooner or later, issues regarding love and sex will arise between friends of the opposite sex. Even if friends are not in love with each other, various reasons they may think: “Why not try?” Nature takes its toll, nothing can be done about it.

Don't believe it with human fishing, which suggests to you: "Let's remain friends!" True friendship between people who once felt for each other romantic feelings, can't be. They usually say this only in order not to offend the rejected lover. Even if some kind of relationship develops between you, then this is no longer friendship, but pure water flirting in which you will live with the intention that one day he will finally understand that he was mistaken and will invite you not to be friends, but to live together.

Again and again

If you do not put an end to the relationship, but continue communication as if nothing had happened, then there is always a high probability of resuming it again. After all, it is much easier to continue what was already started once than to build something new. But it’s worth remembering that you broke up for a reason and most likely the same problems will pop up again, which will again lead to a painful breakup.

Old wounds

It is very difficult to heal wounds after a breakup if your... ex-partner will always be somewhere nearby. With his presence, he will remind you not only of the good things that happened in your relationship, but also of the reasons for the breakup. You will experience the same emotions in a circle, wondering if you were too hasty in your decision to end the relationship. This has an extremely adverse effect on peace of mind and prevents you from moving on with your life.

Fallback option

Support friendly relations It can be very convenient to be with your ex-partner if you consider him as a backup option. You can date someone else, but still feel confident that if things don't work out, you can always go back to your ex. This does not allow you to build new relationships with full dedication, since there is a firm belief that no matter the outcome, you will not be left alone. But none of these relationships can be called full-fledged.

Friends with Benefits

You decided to go your separate ways, but meet occasionally to spend the night together. Sooner or later, one of the parties (or maybe both at once) will want something more than sex for friendship. With this behavior, you emotionally tie yourself to your ex-partner, begin to build illusions about him, think that he is better than you thought. But as soon as you resume the relationship, disappointment may set in. It can also occur if your ex-partner wants to stop meeting you and enters into a new relationship.

Fear of offending

The phrase “Let’s remain friends” from the speaker’s lips most likely means that he wants to remain good in your eyes and is afraid of offending you by his decision to put an end to it. The injured party may perceive this as false hope of resuming the relationship in the near future. You can part on good terms, but still not be friends. It is quite normal when, after a breakup, a man and a woman can calmly communicate and sometimes be in the same company. But this is not friendship, but rather an ordinary relationship between two familiar people.