Parents meeting"Punishment and reward in the family."

Children need to be treated gently because punishment hardens them. C. Montesquieu

If physical punishment are repeated often, then they produce a stubborn person, and if parents begin to punish their children for their stubbornness, then they will make them even more stubborn. I. Kant

Punishments should always be carried out with caution, so that children see that the ultimate purpose of punishment is only their correction. I. Kant

Goal: to introduce parents to types of encouragement and punishment, how to praise and punish a child while remaining in a position of genuine love; reveal the role of reward and punishment in raising children; determine the optimal positions of parents on the topic of the lecture.

to form among parents a culture of encouragement and punishment in the family.

Show the benefits of non-violent methods of raising children.

Determine the means and techniques for building humane relationships in the family.

Progress of the meeting:

Dad knocked over the vase.

Who will punish him?

“It's fortunate

This is fortunate!”

The whole family will say.

Well, what if, unfortunately,

I did it.

“You're a shame,

You're a bungler" -

My family will tell me.

I. Opening remarks.

Dear parents! The topic of today's parent meeting is “Rewarding and punishing children in the family.” When raising children, we, of course, use all sorts of ways and methods. And the main ones are reward and punishment.

There are several models of parental behavior:

Parent “Partner” - he strives to indulge the child in everything. There is no system in education, the boundaries between what is permitted and what is not permitted are erased. Spoiled children often grow up in such a family.

Parent “Dictator” - in such a family any initiatives are suppressed. Parents decide everything. A child with such upbringing grows up without initiative, or turns into the same “Dictator”.

Parent “Senior Comrade” - he respects the interests of the child, the child’s opinion is always taken into account. And the parent guides and helps in the formation moral values.

The first family model contributes precisely to the fact that the child grows up without understanding how to behave in a given situation, does not learn to respect other people, and treats everyone around him selfishly.

The second family model, when the child is not respected, is not listened to, everything is forbidden and everything is decided for him, contributes to the fact that the child also does not learn to respect others, but instead learns to fear them. When parents order, and do not explain, do not give the child the right to choose, then he does not learn to be responsible for his actions, to control himself, because his parents do this for the child.

Of course, the third family model is the most acceptable. Parents help the child learn to control himself and learn the boundaries of what is permitted.

II. Analysis of questionnaires.

III. Conversation with parents.

By his actions, a child causes satisfaction or dissatisfaction, joy, sympathy or grief, grief, anger. His parents smiled tenderly at him, touched him gently - they were pleased with his action, they approved of him: continue to do so. There is dissatisfaction and harshness on their face - they warned the child. In rewards and punishments, wisdom and emotions are closely intertwined, and this is the power of their impact on the child. The child's misdeeds should be prevented.

If a child is accustomed to order (constant rules of behavior), many of his actions will be prevented. Before punishing, ask yourself why the child did this, find out the situation and answer the question: is it possible to punish him for this?

What should be the punishments?

Punishments must be reasonable, balanced and not overwhelming

determination and courage, do not generate fear and pessimism, do not humiliate.

Punishment achieves its goal only when it generates remorse and not resentment, humiliation or bitterness. A child is punished only by those who love him.

Punishment should not be a quick trial and therefore unfair. If a child goes to bed unpunished, then new day he will begin feeling forgiven. It is necessary to punish immediately after committing an offense, otherwise the child will simply forget about what he did and will not understand why you are punishing him.

Punishment must be consistent. It’s bad if you are punished for the same offense today, but not tomorrow. It is bad if the father praises and the mother punishes for the same act. This disorients the child.

What punishment to choose? Some parents believe that the belt is best medicine from disobedience. However, physical punishment makes the child feel resentful and embitters him. By hitting a child, you can inflict mental trauma on him, the consequences of which will not appear immediately, but after many years. Therefore, try to choose a different method for punishment.

You definitely need to talk to your child and explain that you are upset because of his disobedience. It is important to let the child understand that he must be held accountable for his actions. But first, find out whether he really understood that he behaved badly. Perhaps the child committed an offense unconsciously, not on purpose.

Sometimes very effective method is ignoring the child. Children need their parents' attention. Stop talking to your child and he will immediately want to apologize.

You can prohibit your child from watching his favorite cartoons on this day or deprive him of sweets. But, under no circumstances, do not deprive him of a walk, dinner, etc., that is, what are natural needs.

Try establishing symbolic punishment in the family. For example, sitting in place - a chair or sofa. There is no humiliation or cruelty in this punishment, but at the same time, for a child, restriction of movement is a serious deprivation.

Psychologists believe that punishment should have a triple meaning. It must undo the harm that has been done bad behavior. The punishment is also aimed at ensuring that such actions do not happen again. And the last meaning is the removal of guilt. That is, the punishment itself should remove guilt.

The punishment should be temporary, for example, you cannot play on the computer for two days. Do not remember the child’s previous misdeeds, talk only about what you are punishing for right now.

It is necessary to avoid insults and labeling. Evaluate this particular act of the child, and not his personality.

Punishment should not cancel out rewards. If you have previously given something to a child, under no circumstances should you take it away. bad deeds. And don’t break promises you made earlier, for example, to go to the zoo.

Sometimes we punish a child because of our bad mood. This is absolutely unacceptable, since we still do not improve our well-being, and the child suffers.

Who should punish and console the child in the family?

It is better if the punishment is determined by the father. In the family, he is more suitable for the role of an arbitrator, because he is more objective, and there is less exaltation in his reaction to an offense. It is better if the son is punished by the father, and the daughter by the mother.

But the punished son and daughter seek consolation from their mother. The most dangerous development events when later, as a teenager, they seek solace on the side, in the company of teenagers. There they will console you with a cigarette, wine and antisocial protest.

When consoling your child, show empathy and understanding for his feelings, emphasize the fairness of the punishment, and together with your child, outline options for behavior that will help avoid punishment in the future.

You should not punish a child in public: on the bus, on the street, in front of strangers. This doubles the punishment, adding humiliation to it.

There is no need to punish an older child in front of a younger one, because this undermines the authority of the older one, and in a special, jealous relationship between the older and the younger, bitterness is born in the older one, and gloating in the younger one, which darkens their relationship for a long time.

Talk more, explain. Form relationships so that the child does not want to upset you. Those. fear of punishment (screaming, restrictions) should come in second place.

Punish only on fundamental issues, do not destroy the child’s self-esteem.

Just for fun, count how many times a day you make comments, and how many times you praise and show affection. The ratio should be 20/80. The child must feel unconditional love. In general, the topic of punishing a child is very subtle; remember that the use of punishment is a powerful weapon, you need to be able to use it.

What should praise be?

It is weighed, just like the punishment. Excessive praise is disorienting and leads to an overestimation of opportunities and an underestimation of difficulties, which naturally leads the child to failure.

When should you not praise?

You cannot praise the mediocre, because this is three times dangerous: the child mistakes the mediocre for the excellent; gets used to acting, acting mediocrely, and thinking superficially; praise depreciates and ceases to have an impact.

You can't praise out of pity. Praise out of pity insults.

When, how and for what to praise children?

According to experienced psychologists, should be praised:

if available physical handicap;

with signs of mental shortcomings - a tendency to steal, deceit or cruelty (praise when a person manages to refrain from it);

at increased nervousness, anxiety, irritability;

in the position of a persecuted, “scapegoat”;

after any loss, failure, unexpected trouble;

after failing a critical test or exam;

in case of illness;

with unhappy love;

just like that, preventatively - there are times when praise just for the fact that a person lives can save his life.

Main principle– praise should not be expected. Let the compliment come suddenly, as if by chance, and, naturally, be sincere. When praising a child, it is advisable to call him by name. Always praise seriously, convincingly and to the point.

They cautiously praise proud and vain children. Praise in these cases can sow the seeds of pride and selfishness.

The strong are rarely praised. Strong and without praise knows his own worth. But he is also praised for his great success, only with restraint and sparingly.

They are reservedly praised for politeness and cleanliness, emphasizing that this goes without saying.

They are cautious in praising their courage, as the child may become carried away and commit reckless behavior.

They are praised with special satisfaction for kindness, for helping the weak and small, the old and sick, for helping in trouble, for moral actions.

So your little one did something good, how can you react to it?

1. Say nothing. By nature, a child does not need praise. The desire to cognize and create is inherent in him, and praise cannot in any way affect his internal motivation, only if the child is not already crippled by constant evaluations from his parents.

2. Indicate your presence with a look or gesture. Sometimes it is important to just be close to the child, and words are not needed here.

3. Tell your child what you see: “What beautiful flowers you drew it!”, “You put on the shoe yourself!”, “The cat is pleased that you stroked her, she even exposes her neck to you!” The child does not need evaluation; it is important for him to know that you see his efforts.

4. Ask your child about his work: “Do you like your drawing?”, “What was the most difficult?”, “How did you manage to draw such an even circle?” With your questions, you will encourage your child to think about his work and help him learn to independently evaluate his results.

5. Express praise through the prism of your feelings. Compare the two phrases “Well drawn!” and “I really like the way you drew this ship!” The first is absolutely impersonal. Who drew what? In the second case, you express your attitude towards the child’s work, noting the moments that you especially liked.

6. Separate the assessment of the child and the assessment of the action. Try to pay attention not to the child’s abilities, but to what he has done, and note this in your praise: “I see that you put away all the toys. It’s great that the room is now clean,” instead of “What a neat guy you are!”

7. Praise effort, not results. Celebrate your child's efforts.

As you can see, the range of opportunities to express approval of a child is quite wide and certainly does not boil down to standard value judgments. Does this mean that parents should completely abandon the words “well done”, “good”, “excellent”. Of course not. It would be wrong to restrain yourself in those moments when your child’s actions evoke bright positive emotions in you.

8. The more varied and unexpected the incentives, the more effective they are. In order for rewards to fulfill their function (to reinforce the child’s behavior that is positive for the parent), they must be clearly linked to the child’s actions. An unexpected reward is better remembered, and candy for every five loses its role of “being an encouragement.”

9. Incentives must be fulfilled. It is very important that the promised reward is received, so you should not make unrealistic promises.

10. It is necessary to praise in the morning and at night. Don’t forget to praise your child in the morning to create a “success situation” for him throughout his long and difficult day! Don't let your child fall asleep offended and in tears - praise at night will allow him to sleep well and regain strength.

How to prevent disobedience.

In general, it is easier to prevent disobedience than to try to correct the situation later. So try to follow the following tips:

1. It is very important to explain all the prohibitions to the child, and not just prohibit. This will make it easier and clearer for children.

2. In addition, remember: there must be categorical prohibitions - for example, you cannot touch the iron, and prohibitions that depend on the circumstances - for example, now mom has a headache, which means you can’t make noise (and then you can be less quiet).

3. In no case should parents violate the established rules themselves. All family members must follow the rules.

4. Important point– do not forget about the age of your child. What is permissible for a two-year-old child is unacceptable for a preschooler. Do not forbid your child to do things that are natural for his age.

IV. Simple tips parents

1. Remember that a child does not consist entirely of shortcomings, weaknesses, and failures. The child now has advantages, one must be able to see them.

2. Don't be stingy with praise. The performer should be praised, but only the performance should be criticized. Praise personally, and criticize as indifferently as possible.

3. Any increase in demands on the child must begin with praise, even in advance.

4.Set achievable goals for your child.

5. Instead of giving orders, the child should ask him for advice or help, like an equal or elder.

6. Permissions teach children much better than prohibitions.

7.If punishment is necessary, remember that you should not punish twice for the same mistakes. The child must understand why and why he is being punished.

8. You need to convince yourself that in most cases, comments, reprimands, and demands are simply not needed.

9. Any child deserves love and respect: the value is in himself!

Teacher primary classes

MBOU "Gymnasium No. 6", Novocheboksarsk

Parents meeting

"The importance of reward and punishment in raising children"
Purpose of the meeting:

Formation in parents of conscious use in educational process methods of reward and punishment.

Tasks:

1. 
   Discuss with parents the problem of rewarding and punishing a child in the family;
2. 
   To form among parents a culture of encouragement and punishment in the family.

Materials:

Sheets of A4 paper different colors(4 colors).

Cards of the same colors (for each participant).

Posters with statements.

Cards with practical tasks.

Cards describing problem situations.
Preparatory work for the meeting: survey of children.

The class is decorated with posters wise sayings, according to the theme of the meeting.

There are 4 tables and chairs around them; upon entering the class, each participant receives a card of a certain color and sits at a table on which there are A4 sheets of the same color. (Random assignment of parents into groups helps develop communication skills and establish closer contacts between participants)
Progress of the meeting

1. Introductory part
At all times, parents were concerned about the optimal upbringing of children in the family - how to encourage and punish so that this would contribute to the development of a harmonious personality.

Reward and punishment - the simplest of means parental influence. They provide parents with the opportunity to express their attitude towards the child’s actions. Each parent has his own established opinion about punishments and rewards for the child, so we will pay attention to their types, impact on children and effectiveness.

Today we will try to answer certain questions: Should children be punished? How and when is the best time to do this? What can you reward your child for?
2. Practical task
Execution practical task by groups:

The first group needs to compile a list of acceptable methods of encouragement.

The second group needs to draw up a list of unacceptable methods of encouragement. The third group needs to draw up a list of acceptable methods of punishment. The fourth group needs to draw up a list of unacceptable methods of punishment (Appendix 1).

Participants present their results of work in groups. A discussion is taking place.

3. Analysis of children's surveys

Previously, before our meeting, the children answered the questionnaire (Appendix 2). Let's see what are the choices of methods of reward and punishment in your families through the eyes of your children?

A generalized analysis of the responses is provided and the results of the survey are summarized.
4. Information part
Parenting requires the judicious use of punishment and rewards, since both affect the child's self-esteem. Punishment and encouragement should be a manifestation of the specific attitude of older family members to the behavior of children.

And now I want to offer you what domestic and foreign psychologists who deal with behavior problems and suggest techniques to parents say on this topic. effective interaction with children, they emphasize a positive approach. Psychologists advise parents to switch attention from the child’s misdeeds to his good deeds. A positive approach is expressed, first of all, in incentives and rewards, that is, in favorable consequences. When determining what can serve as a reward or encouragement for a child, parents should take a closer look at the child, notice what his interests, needs, and wishes are.

Child psychologist D. Fontenelle believes that anything that is pleasant can serve as encouragement to this child. In general, incentives should be selected from the following areas:

Incentives related to extracurricular activities

For example: go to bed an hour later than usual; invite a friend for an overnight stay; talk longer on the phone.

Material incentives
Appendix 5
How to encourage a child in the family

• 
  Smile approvingly at your child as often as possible: when he washes the dishes, when he does his homework, and when he communicates with you.
• 
  Encourage your child with gestures: he will always be warm and cozy if mom touches his head while preparing homework, and dad hugs him approvingly and shakes his hand.
• 
  Verbally express approval, let yourself small success your child, his behavior.
• 
  Use the expressions more often: “you’re right”, “we agree with your opinion” - this builds self-esteem in the child, develops self-analysis and critical thinking.
• 
  Give your child gifts, but at the same time teach him to accept them.
• 
  Form traditions and rituals to encourage your child in your family: birthday, New Year, end academic year, September 1, successful performance, surprises, congratulations, etc.
• 
  Teach your child to be grateful for any signs of attention shown to him, regardless of the amount of money spent on the gift.
• 
  Give gifts to your child not only taking into account his wishes, but also taking into account the family’s capabilities.
• 
  To encourage your child, use not only material gifts, but also moral incentives, invented by you, which will subsequently become a relic in the archives of your child’s family: certificates self-made, poems, newspapers and friendly cartoons, etc.
• 
  If you want to use money as a reward, give your child the opportunity to learn how to use it wisely.
• 
  If your child is rewarded with money, you should know how he used it and discuss it with him.
• 
  Allow your child to have pocket money, but do not leave its spending without analysis by the child and you
• 
  If your child is given gifts, never analyze their cost and value with him. This can lead to serious moral problems.
• 
  Teach your child to understand and appreciate parental encouragement.

Remember! Your attention, love and affection, friendly participation and affection can do more for your child than the most expensive gift! The wounds of humiliation and bullying do not heal for years, the scars of indifference and ignorance remain for life!
General rules of what not to do and, on the contrary, what to remember and do if you want to punish a child

• 
  Can't miss or delay punishment for a long time. It should immediately follow a violation of a rule, rude or impolite behavior. In this case, the age of the child does not matter: the earlier in his life he encounters the unconditionality of the rule, the better.
• 
  The punishment should not be excessive. It is a signal of the importance of the rule, and not an “act of retaliation.” Therefore, the classic “standing in the corner” or “sitting in grandpa’s chair” are quite suitable.
• 
  You cannot humiliate a child with punishment. This means that punishment should not be accompanied by a rude tone, unkind criticism or name-calling.
• 
  Absolutely Physical punishment is unacceptable. They not only humiliate, but also embitter the child. They do not instill anything, but, on the contrary, destroy relationships with the child and inhibit the development of his personality.
• 
  It's important to remember that the meaning of punishment is to convey the seriousness and indisputability of the established rules. Therefore, it is necessary to respond to their violation, if possible. without missing.
• 
  Need some explanation to the child the meaning of the adult’s dissatisfaction and say, what exactly is expected of him.
• 
  Punishment need to administer in a relatively quiet time friendly tone.

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Reward and punishment are the simplest means of parental influence. They provide parents with the opportunity to express their attitude towards the child’s actions. And each parent has his own established opinion about punishments and rewards for the child.

Purpose of the meeting: Formation in parents of conscious use of methods of encouragement and punishment in the educational process.

Tasks:

• Discuss with parents the problem of rewarding and punishing a child in the family;
• To form among parents a culture of encouragement and punishment in the family.

Materials:

• Sheets of A4 paper of different colors (4 colors in total).
• Snowflakes of the same colors (for each participant).
• Cards with practical tasks.
• Cards describing problem situations.
• Musical accompaniment

Preparatory work for the meeting:

• Questioning children.

Organization of space:

• There are 4 tables and chairs around them in the hall; upon entering the hall, each participant receives a New Year's snowflake of some color, enters the classroom and sits at a table on which A4 sheets of the same color lie. (Random assignment of parents into groups helps develop communication skills and establish closer contacts between participants)

1. Motivation for activity

What is shown in the picture?

– Sponge ( parents).

– Let’s try to list the qualitative characteristics of this item. What characteristic property does it have?

– It absorbs liquid well ( parents).

- Let's imagine what will happen to a sponge if it absorbs a blue liquid? How will this affect her?

– The sponge will turn blue ( parents).

– What if we pour red liquid into the sponge?

– The sponge will turn red ( parents).

– What if we simultaneously pour liquid into the sponge? different colors?

– The sponge will become an incomprehensible, indeterminate color ( parents).

– At the beginning of the discussion, we determined that a feature of a sponge is its ability to absorb. What word do you think the word “education” comes from?

– Parents express their own assumptions.

– The word “education” is formed from the words “nutrition”, “absorption”. It was not for nothing that I drew attention to the commonality of the roots of these words, because a child in childhood, like a sponge, absorbs everything that his parents “pour” into him. You can convince a child for a long time that smoking is harmful, punish him for bad habit. This is meaningless if he sees with what pleasure his father or mother, older brother or other people around him smoke. He will most likely “absorb” the example of older and respected people.

– Can you now name one of the most important principles of raising children? Parents speak out.

– Of course, this is the principle – education by example.

2. Setting the purpose and objectives of the meeting

Today we will try to answer individual questions, and the topic will be suggested to us by the eastern parable “Everything leaves its mark” video

Discussion with goal setting

Conclusion: from own example the upbringing of children and their behavior depend, which means we, as parents, must act wisely when we punish or encourage children

At all times, parents were concerned about the optimal upbringing of children in the family - how to encourage and punish so that this would contribute to the development of a harmonious personality.

The Convention on the Protection of the Rights of Children and other legislative acts in our country prohibit physical violence against a child from anyone. Use of physical punishment in family education speaks of the low culture of parents who do not know how to cope with their own irritation and bad mood, with failures in the family or at work, convinced of their own infallibility and permissiveness.

3. Practical task

Now I propose to start working with you by completing a practical task in groups. The first group needs to compile a list of correct methods of encouragement. The second group needs to compile a list of incorrect methods of encouragement. The third group needs to compile a list of correct methods of punishment. The fourth group needs to compile a list of incorrect methods of punishment ( Appendix 1 ).

(Participants present their results of work in groups)

Let's see what are the choices of reward and punishment methods in your families through the eyes of your children?

(A generalized analysis of the responses is provided and the results of the survey are summarized.)

Analysis of children's questionnaires (diagram)

Total examined: 19 people

1. I am punished if...

• Studies, bad grades – 68%
• Didn’t complete or poorly performed the task – 15.8%
• Bad behavior – 15.8%
• I don’t help – 5.3%

2. People praise me if...

• Studies, good grades – 68%
• Good behavior – 10,5%
• Help around the house - 52.6%

3. My parents punish me...

a) shout at me – 58%
b) call hurtful words – 15,8%
c) they prohibit watching TV or playing on the computer – 42.1%
d) prohibited from walking – 36.8%
– 5,3%
e) are not punished – 10.5%%

4. My parents encourage me...

a) they praise me – 79%
b) give gifts – 21%
c) buy things – 10.5%
d) something is allowed – 42%
e) give money – 5.3%
e) your own option – 10.5%

(trip to the entertainment center)

Conclusion: Of course, raising a child is not an easy task. Myths about angelically pure and meek creatures are far from true. Children are not angels, but small human beings, and therefore, from all the difficult situations in which children often put their parents, we must try to get out of them with respect for their human dignity, without the use of physical punishment or verbal abuse.

To summarize: (distribute tips in groups for parents to read aloud) Yellow tip sheets

How to encourage a child in the family

1. Encourage your child with words, gestures, use the expressions “you’re right,” “we agree with you.”
2. Give your child gifts not only taking into account his desires, but also taking into account his capabilities. Teach to accept gifts and be grateful for any signs of attention.
3. If you encourage your child with money, teach him to manage it wisely.
4. Allow your child to have pocket money, but do not leave its spending without analysis by the child and you.

I propose to collect rules for rewarding and punishing children (cut rules in an envelope)

7 rules of the famous psychotherapist V. Levi “Important to remember”:

1. Punishment should not harm health- neither physical nor mental.

2. If there is doubt: to punish or not to punish, do not punish. No “prevention”, no punishment just in case.

3. For one offense - one punishment. If many offenses are committed at once, the punishment can be severe, but only one, for all the offenses at once.

4. Late punishment is unacceptable. Other educators scold and punish children for offenses that were discovered six months or a year after they were committed. They forget that even the law takes into account the statute of limitations for crimes. The very fact of discovering a child’s misconduct in most cases is sufficient punishment.

5. A child should not be afraid of punishment. He must know that in certain cases punishment is inevitable. He should not fear punishment, not even anger, but the grief of his parents. If the relationship with the child is normal, then their upset is a punishment for him.

6. Don't humiliate your child. Whatever his guilt, punishment should not be perceived by him as a triumph of your strength over his weakness and as a humiliation of human dignity. If a child is particularly proud or believes that in this particular case he is right and you are unfair, punishment causes a negative reaction in him.

7. If a child is punished, it means he has already been forgiven. Not a word more about his previous misdeeds.

To consolidate our knowledge, we will work with situations in groups

Problem situations for groups

1 group (white color)

Group 2 (blue)

3 group ( blue)

• Misha and his parents were vacationing with his grandmother in the village. Here he became friends with his peer Vanya. Vanya was cleaning the yard of the house, and Misha began to help him. Seeing that her son was working in the neighbors’ yard, the mother called Misha home and was indignant: “Look, how good you are!” At home you won’t be asked to help your grandmother, but people have worked hard! Look how much dust you have on your suit?!” - The boy became sad and sat down on the rubble of the house, waiting for Vanya to finish his work.

Group 4 (pink)

Creative task: Make a poster “Tips of the Day” for parents and adults, which will reflect all your knowledge and experience on the topic “Rewarding and punishing children in the family” (musical accompaniment)

Conclusion: At today's meeting, were we able to answer the question: how to correctly apply punishments and rewards? Probably not. And no one will give an exact answer. The educational problem lies not in quantity, but in the child’s attitude towards the punisher and the rewarder. This is a deeply personal, individual matter between the teacher and the child. It is important how their relationships are formed, how emotionally close parents and children are to each other. I wish you success in raising your children !

The children come out and say the words:

1. Dear parents!
   Don't use force in your relationship with me. Otherwise it will teach me to think that strength is all that matters
2. Don't be afraid to be firm with me. I prefer this. This allows me to know the measure and the place
3. Don't reprimand me in front of other people. I will respond to comments only in private, without strangers.
4. Don't make me think that the mistakes I made are a crime. I must learn to make mistakes without thinking that I am good for nothing.
5. Never feel that apologizing to me is beneath you. Your honest apology and admission of your mistakes makes you feel surprisingly warm.
6. Don't forget that I need your understanding and support
7. Treat me the way you treat your friends. I want to be your best friend too.
8. Don’t forget, your kind thoughts and warm wishes that you generously give me every day, if not now, then in years to come, will return to you a hundredfold.
9. Remember that you have the greatest miracle in the world. This is a miracle - I am your child!!!

“Tender palms” to give to parents

(Students prepare in advance templates outlined along the contours of their hands, on which affectionate words are written. kind words what they would like their parents to call them)

Appendix 1

• Acceptable rewards for children (group 1) – red
• Unacceptable rewards for children (group 2) – blue
• Acceptable punishments for children (group 3) – blue
• Unacceptable punishments for children (group 4) pink color

Appendix 2

1. I am punished if...

2. People praise me if...

a) shout at me

b) called with offensive words

d) forbidden to walk

d) put in a corner, punished with a belt

e) your option____________________

a) praise me

b) give gifts

c) buy things

d) something is allowed

d) give money

e) your option____________________

Questionnaire for children “Reward and punishment”

1. I am punished if...

2. People praise me if...

3. My parents punish me... (underline how)

a) shout at me

b) called with offensive words

c) they are prohibited from watching TV or playing on the computer

d) forbidden to walk

d) put in a corner, punished with a belt

e) your option_______________________

4. My parents encourage me....(underline how)

a) praise me

b) give gifts

c) buy things

d) something is allowed

d) give money

f) your own option_______________________

Appendix 4

Problem situations for groups

1 group (white color)

• Born into the family small child. The eldest child changed dramatically: more and more often he began to show aggression towards his parents, the small child also became the subject of aggression.
• Once again, when the mother asked to sit with the baby, he replied: “I’m not going to sit with him!” The parents were very indignant and upset, and severe punishment followed for disobedience.

Group 2 (blue)

• In this family, at the end of the day, the children reported on their school results. If the results were, in the opinion of the parents, good, then the children received encouragement in the form pocket money. If parents were not satisfied with their children’s educational results, they had to perform labor duties around the house and dacha: do full cleaning, water the garden, etc. Work could always be found, and the children tried to study in such a way as to avoid the punishment of labor in any way.

Group 3 (blue)

• Misha and his parents were vacationing with his grandmother in the village. Here he became friends with his peer Vanya. Vanya was cleaning the yard of the house, and Misha began to help him. Seeing that her son was working in the neighbors’ yard, the mother called Misha home and was indignant: “Look, how good you are! At home you won’t be asked to help your grandmother, but people have worked hard! Look how much dust you have on your suit?!” - The boy became sad and sat down on the rubble of the house, waiting for Vanya to finish his work.
• What motivated the mother when she forbade her son to work with his friend?
• Do you justify Misha's behavior? What would you do? Should I have encouraged my son?

Group 4 (pink color)

• First-grader Vita was tasked with buying milk for his family. The boy happily completed his assignment. One day, while returning from the store, he tripped, fell and spilled milk. Vitya came home upset and in tears told about what had happened. “Stupid! - the mother was indignant, - from your help there are only losses! March to the corner!” The boy silently listened to his mother's reproaches, but when his grandmother reminded him that he needed to buy milk, he categorically refused to go to the store.
• What would you do if you were Vitya’s mother?
• What pedagogical conclusion follows from this situation?

Parent meeting "Punishment and reward in the family."

Children need to be treated gently because punishment hardens them. C. Montesquieu

If physical punishment is repeated often, then it creates a stubborn person, and if parents begin to punish children for their stubbornness, then they will make them even more stubborn. I. Kant

Punishments should always be carried out with caution, so that children see that the ultimate purpose of punishment is only their correction.I. Kant

Target: introduce parents to types of encouragement and punishment, how to praise and punish a child while remaining in a position of genuine love; reveal the role of reward and punishment in raising children; determine the optimal positions of parents on the topic of the lecture.

Tasks:

to form among parents a culture of encouragement and punishment in the family.

Show the benefits of non-violent methods of raising children.

Determine the means and techniques for building humane relationships in the family.

Progress of the meeting:

Dad knocked over the vase.

Who will punish him?

“It's fortunate

This is fortunate!”

The whole family will say.

Well, what if, unfortunately,

I did it.

“You're a shame,

You're a bungler" -

My family will tell me.

Opening remarks.

Dear parents! The topic of today's parent meeting is “Rewarding and punishing children in the family.” When raising children, we, of course, use all sorts of ways and methods. And the main ones are reward and punishment.

There are several models of parental behavior:

Parent "Partner" - he strives to indulge the child in everything. There is no system in education, the boundaries between what is permitted and what is not permitted are erased. Spoiled children often grow up in such a family.. Parent "Dictator" - in such a family, any initiatives are suppressed. Parents decide everything. A child with such upbringing grows up without initiative, or turns into the same “Dictator”.Parent "Senior Comrade" - he respects the interests of the child, the child’s opinion is always taken into account. And the parent guides and helps in the formation of moral values.The first family model contributes precisely to the fact that the child grows up without understanding how to behave in a given situation, does not learn to respect other people, and treats everyone around him selfishly.The second family model, when the child is not respected, is not listened to, everything is forbidden and everything is decided for him, contributes to the fact that the child also does not learn to respect others, but instead learns to fear them. When parents order, and do not explain, do not give the child the right to choose, then he does not learn to be responsible for his actions, to control himself, because his parents do this for the child.Of course, the third family model is the most acceptable. Parents help the child learn to control himself and learn the boundaries of what is permitted.II. Analysis of questionnaires .

Let's see how things are in your families. The guys answered a number of questions.

Are you satisfied with your relationship with your parents?

Do your parents understand you?

Do your friends visit you at home?

Are you being punished?

If so, how are they punished?

What are they punishing for?

How long have you been offended?

Do your parents kiss you?

Do you go for a walk with your parents?

Which family event do you remember?

They give me money if...

Conversation with parents.

By his actions, a child causes satisfaction or dissatisfaction, joy, sympathy or grief, grief, anger. His parents smiled tenderly at him, touched him gently - they were pleased with his action, they approved of him: continue to do so. There is dissatisfaction and harshness on their face - they warned the child. In rewards and punishments, wisdom and emotions are closely intertwined, and this is the power of their impact on the child. The child's misdeeds should be prevented.

If a child is accustomed to order (constant rules of behavior), many of his actions will be prevented. Before punishing, ask yourself why the child did this, find out the situation and answer the question: is it possible to punish him for this?

What should be the punishments?

Punishments must be reasonable, balanced and not overwhelming

determination and courage, do not generate fear and pessimism, do not humiliate.

Punishment achieves its goal only when it generates remorse and not resentment, humiliation or bitterness. A child is punished only by those who love him.

Punishment should not be a quick trial and therefore unfair. If a child goes to bed unpunished, he will begin the new day feeling forgiven. It is necessary to punish immediately after committing an offense, otherwise the child will simply forget about what he did and will not understand why you are punishing him.

Punishment must be consistent. It’s bad if you are punished for the same offense today, but not tomorrow. It is bad if the father praises and the mother punishes for the same act. This disorients the child.

What punishment to choose? Some parents believe that a belt is the best cure for disobedience. However, physical punishment makes the child feel resentful and embitters him. By hitting a child, you can inflict mental trauma on him, the consequences of which will not appear immediately, but after many years. Therefore, try to choose a different method for punishment.

You definitely need to talk to your child and explain that you are upset because of his disobedience. It is important to let the child understand that he must be held accountable for his actions. But first, find out whether he really understood that he behaved badly. Perhaps the child committed an offense unconsciously, not on purpose.
Sometimes a very effective method is to ignore the child. Children need their parents' attention. Stop talking to your child and he will immediately want to apologize.
You can prohibit your child from watching his favorite cartoons on this day or deprive him of sweets. But, under no circumstances, do not deprive him of a walk, dinner, etc., that is, what are natural needs.
Try installing in your familysymbolic punishment . For example, sitting in place - a chair or sofa. There is no humiliation or cruelty in this punishment, but at the same time, for a child, restriction of movement is a serious deprivation.
Psychologists believe that punishment should havetriple value . It must correct the harm that bad behavior has caused. The punishment is also aimed at ensuring that such actions do not happen again. And the last meaning is the removal of guilt. That is, the punishment itself should remove guilt.
The punishment should be temporary, for example, you cannot play on the computer for two days. Do not remember the child’s previous misdeeds, talk only about what you are punishing for right now.
It is necessary to avoid insults and labeling. Evaluate this particular act of the child, and not his personality.
Punishment should not cancel out rewards. If you previously gave something to a child, under no circumstances should you take it away for bad deeds. And don’t break promises you made earlier, for example, to go to the zoo.
Sometimes we punish a child because of our bad mood. This is absolutely unacceptable, since we still do not improve our well-being, and the child suffers.

Who should punish and console the child in the family?

It is better if the punishment is determined by the father. In the family, he is more suitable for the role of an arbitrator, because he is more objective, and there is less exaltation in his reaction to an offense. It is better if the son is punished by the father, and the daughter by the mother.

But the punished son and daughter seek consolation from their mother. The most dangerous development of events is when later, as a teenager, they seek solace on the side, in the company of teenagers. There they will console you with a cigarette, wine and antisocial protest.

When consoling your child, show empathy and understanding for his feelings, emphasize the fairness of the punishment, and together with your child, outline options for behavior that will help avoid punishment in the future.

You should not punish a child in public: on the bus, on the street, in front of strangers. This doubles the punishment, adding humiliation to it.

There is no need to punish an older child in front of a younger one, because this undermines the authority of the older one, and in a special, jealous relationship between the older and the younger, bitterness is born in the older one, and gloating in the younger one, which darkens their relationship for a long time.

Talk more, explain. Form relationships so that the child does not want to upset you. Those. fear of punishment (screaming, restrictions) should come in second place.

Punish only on fundamental issues, do not destroy the child’s self-esteem.

Just for fun, count how many times a day you make comments, and how many times you praise and show affection. The ratio should be 20/80. A child should feel unconditional love.. In general, the topic of punishing a child is very subtle, remember that the use of punishment is a powerful weapon, you need to be able to use it.

What should praise be?

It is weighed, just like the punishment. Excessive praise is disorienting and leads to an overestimation of opportunities and an underestimation of difficulties, which naturally leads the child to failure.

When should you not praise?

You cannot praise the mediocre, because this is three times dangerous: the child mistakes the mediocre for the excellent; gets used to acting, acting mediocrely, and thinking superficially; praise depreciates and ceases to have an impact.

You can't praise out of pity. Praise out of pity insults.

When, how and for what to praise children?

According to experienced psychologists, you should praise:
in the presence of a physical disability;
with signs of mental shortcomings - a tendency to steal, deceit or cruelty (praise when a person manages to refrain from it);
with increased nervousness, anxiety, irritability;
in the position of a persecuted, “scapegoat”;
after any loss, failure, unexpected trouble;
after failing a critical test or exam;
in case of illness;
with unhappy love;
just like that, preventatively - there are times when praise just for the fact that a person lives can save his life.
The main principle is that praise should not be expected. Let the compliment come suddenly, as if by chance, and, naturally, be sincere. When praising a child, it is advisable to call him by name. Always praise seriously, convincingly and to the point.

They cautiously praise proud and vain children. Praise in these cases can sow the seeds of pride and selfishness.

The strong are rarely praised. Strong and without praise knows his own worth. But he is also praised for his great success, only with restraint and sparingly.

They are reservedly praised for politeness and cleanliness, emphasizing that this goes without saying.

They are cautious in praising their courage, as the child may become carried away and commit reckless behavior.

They are praised with special satisfaction for kindness, for helping the weak and small, the old and sick, for helping in trouble, for moral actions.

So your little one did something good, how can you react to it?

1. Say nothing. By By nature, a child does not need praise. The desire to cognize and create is inherent in him, and praise cannot in any way affect his internal motivation, only if the child is not already crippled by constant evaluations from his parents.
2. Indicate your presence with a look or gesture. Sometimes it is important to just be close to the child, and words are not needed here.
3. Tell your child what you see: “What beautiful flowers you drew!”, “You put on the shoe yourself!”, “The cat is pleased that you stroked her, she even exposes her neck to you!” The child does not need evaluation; it is important for him to know that you see his efforts.
4. Ask your child about his work: “Do you like your drawing?”, “What was the most difficult thing?”, “How did you manage to draw such an even circle?” With your questions, you will encourage your child to think about his work and help him learn to independently evaluate his results.
5. Express praise through the prism of your feelings. Compare the two phrases “Well drawn!” and “I really like the way you drew this ship!” The first is absolutely impersonal. Who drew what? In the second case, you express your attitude towards the child’s work, noting the moments that you especially liked.
6. Separate the assessment of the child and the assessment of the action. Try to pay attention not to the child’s abilities, but to what he has done and note this in your praise: “I see that you have put away all the toys. It’s great that the room is now clean,” instead of “What a neat guy you are!”
7. Praise effort, not results. Celebrate your child's efforts.
As you can see, the range of opportunities to express approval of a child is quite wide and certainly does not boil down to standard value judgments. Does this mean that parents should completely abandon the words “well done”, “good”, “excellent”. Of course not. It would be wrong to restrain yourself in those moments when your child’s actions evoke bright positive emotions in you.

8. The more varied and unexpected the incentives, the more effective they are. In order for rewards to fulfill their function (to reinforce the child’s behavior that is positive for the parent), they must be clearly linked to the child’s actions. An unexpected reward is better remembered, and candy for every five loses its role of “being an encouragement.”9. Incentives must be fulfilled. It is very important that the promised reward is received, so you should not make unrealistic promises.10. It is necessary to praise in the morning and at night. Don’t forget to praise your child in the morning to create a “success situation” for him throughout his long and difficult day! Don't let your child fall asleep offended and in tears - praise at night will allow him to sleep well and regain strength.How to prevent disobedience .

In general, it is easier to prevent disobedience than to try to correct the situation later. So try to follow the followingcouncils:
1. It is very important to explain all the prohibitions to the child, and not just prohibit. This will make it easier and clearer for children.

2. In addition, remember: there must be categorical prohibitions - for example, you cannot touch the iron, and prohibitions that depend on the circumstances - for example, now mom has a headache, which means you can’t make noise (and then you can be less quiet).
3. In no case should parents violate the established rules themselves. All family members must follow the rules.
4. An important point - do not forget about the age of your child. What is permissible for a two-year-old child is unacceptable for a preschooler. Do not forbid your child to do things that are natural for his age.

IV . Simple tips for parents

1. Remember that a child does not consist entirely of shortcomings, weaknesses, and failures. The child now has advantages, one must be able to see them.
2. Don't be stingy with praise. The performer should be praised, but only the performance should be criticized. Praise personally, and criticize as indifferently as possible.
3. Any increase in demands on the child must begin with praise, even in advance.
4.Set achievable goals for your child.
5. Instead of giving orders, the child should ask him for advice or help, like an equal or elder.
6. Permissions teach children much better than prohibitions.
7.If punishment is necessary, remember that you should not punish twice for the same mistakes. The child must understand why and why he is being punished.
8. You need to convince yourself that in most cases, comments, reprimands, and demands are simply not needed.
9. Any child deserves love and respect: the value is in himself!

Conducted by: teacher

primary classes

Chernysheva N.E.

MBOU "School No. 15"

G. Nizhny Novgorod

Goals and objectives: 1. Discuss with parents the problem of rewarding and punishing a child in the family.

2. Form among parents a culture of rewarding and punishing the child in the family.

3. Show the benefits of non-violent methods of raising children.

4. Determine the means and techniques for building humane relationships in the family.

Preparatory work:

Questioning students to identify the level of humanity in the relationship between parents and children.

I get praised if...

They give me gifts if...

They give me money if...

I am allowed... if...

Parent survey.

Is it possible to raise a child without punishment?

What could serve as a reason for punishment in your family?

How does your child react to punishment?

Is punishment always effective in influencing your child's behavior?

How do you behave towards your child after you have punished him?

What measures of influence in your family do you consider punishment?

Do you make decisions about disciplining your child together or do you do it alone?

How long does your child remember punishment?

What punishments are excluded in your family?

Staging pedagogical tasks for holding a meeting.

Development of instructions for parents.

Design, equipment and inventory.

Reminders and tips for parents. Appendix 3

Pedagogical problem sheets.

Presentation Appendix 1

Multimedia installation.

5) Table of analysis of student surveys. Appendix 4

Participants: Teacher, parents.

Form of conduct: exchange of opinions, work in small groups

“Punishment is causing harm

causing harm.

Praise - pedagogical jack"

V. Krotov

"Whoever does not take with affection,

He won’t take it with severity either.”

Folk wisdom

Progress of the meeting

Consideration of situations.

Situation 1.

The parents constantly put the boy in a corner for misdeeds. Once, when he was still only in the 4th grade, he told his father: “If you put me in a corner again, I’ll run to my grandmother. I won’t live with you anymore."

Situation 2.

One mother tells another: “We beat and punish our own, but he finishes his homework in five minutes and goes outside. In the evening he comes, we start checking, and he is already sleeping on the move. The next day it comes - again a deuce.”

Situation 3.

A small child was born into the family. Senior child student third grade student changed dramatically: he became whiny, more and more often began to show aggressiveness towards his parents, the small child also became the subject of aggression. Once again, when the mother asked to babysit the baby, the third grader replied: “I didn’t hire myself as a nanny!” The parents were terribly indignant, and punishment for the offense followed.

We, as parents, encounter such situations very often. How to deal with such situations or prevent them? What punishment should we apply to prevent the bad actions of our children from being repeated?

You and I will have to answer these questions today.

Remember dear parents, my childhood. Raise your hand those whom their parents never, under any circumstances, beat, spanked, or touched with a finger...

As you can see, there are only a few of them.

All old Russian literature testifies that children were beaten, beaten cruelly, seeing in this, if not a good thing, then an inevitability sanctified by tradition. Oddly enough, even today the problem of “force” influence - to hit or not to hit? - has not been fully resolved.

Many were brought up with a belt. As adults, you continue this tradition, willingly or unwillingly. Why?

The first reason: many parents really believe that nothing good can come out of a child without a belt. As a rule, such parents do not believe in their children, they are afraid of the future, they are afraid to forgive their children: “Next time he will do something even worse, we must not let them go.”

The second reason for the true misfortunes of our children is our lack of restraint, breakdowns that are caused not by the children’s mistakes, but by extraneous reasons. How does it happen in life? There were troubles at work, I came home, my wife freaked out about where he was, this and that, and then my son turned up and punched me or got angry.”

And the third reason why children are beaten. They beat from emptiness, from the echoing emptiness within themselves. They beat them because they don’t know how to talk to children any other way, they don’t know the right words.

Meanwhile, beating children is very harmful, both medical indicators, and from the point of view of psychology and pedagogy.

Hitting the head is simply a crime; it is unlikely that any of the beating parents does not want to see their child smart. Doctors strictly prohibit hitting hands, since there are many nerve endings connected to a variety of organs. A blow to the face is humiliating, it is never forgotten and will never be forgiven.

Physical punishment dulls everything best qualities in children, contributes to the development of lies and hypocrisy, cowardice and cruelty in them, arouses anger and hatred towards elders. And it is not true that an unbeaten, well-groomed and cherished child is not ready for the vicissitudes of fate, which, as we know, happens and does hit. For him, blows of fate are an injustice that can be fought and overcome.

Makarenko was an opponent of physical punishment. In his works he showed their enormous harm to the cause of education. Makarenko believed that physical punishment for a child is “a tragedy of pain and resentment, a tragedy of cruelty, childish patience.” There is no real discipline in such families. Children are afraid of their parents and try to stay away from them.

But it is not only physical punishment used by parents that causes mental trauma to our children.

The words that never leave the lips of some parents are: “What did I say?”, “Do what you are told,” etc. These are not just words. This is the method education. Parents believe that it is their job to order, and the child must obey.

But they forget or don’t think at all that a free personality cannot be formed in family slavery. While demonstrating their parental power, they do not think that their strength is their weakness: convincing a child to be demonstrative is much more difficult than imposing your will on him and forcing him to obey his parents. Outwardly, having obeyed the order, the child remains unconvinced, and the more openly the parents impose their instructions and their opinion, the more hostile they are to the parents’ instructions. This is how alienation occurs in the relationship between children and parents. The child ceases to be lively and cheerful, hides his secret from everything, becomes gloomy or hidden, afraid of saying something wrong.

But what forms of influence should be used if the child has done something wrong? After all, one way or another, a committed offense cannot be ignored.

An effective measure impact on the guilty child is your temporary neglect of communication with him, deprivation of your trust: “You did this and that, although you knew perfectly well: this is impossible, and there is nothing for me to talk to you about.”

Next comes the right of way. It's like he's not even there. Ignore his words, don’t notice his searching smiles. Let him worry. Sometimes it's useful to say little man like this: “You disappointed me for this and that reason, I’ll have to go visit alone.” And you need to maintain your character and not take the guilty person with you. The trick here is not in depriving the child of something he wants, but in the fact that you refuse to share his joy. Don't respond to pleas for forgiveness. Some children know that the louder they scream, the faster they are forgiven. One, two, hurry up and forgive. And there you look, your smart kid, not having had time to extricate himself from one offense, he will boldly do a new one, knowing with absolute certainty: you just have to ask for forgiveness, and forgiveness will be received. It is not necessary to demand a verbal apology from the child. You need to atone for guilt through deeds and actions. If it's broken, fix it. If you don't do it, do it. Made noise. If you disturb others, show that you have learned to take into account the comforts of others and can speak quietly.

Main method education is a belief. Remember this. And to do this, talk to your child, communicate with him, look for examples of positive confirmation of your thoughts, be tactful when convincing him. The child should be explained why his action deserves condemnation.

Sometimes the indirect effect on the child is more strong influence than direct. It is sometimes more useful for children to read a story or a fairy tale. Which talks about similar situations and realize what kind of assessment this act deserves.

But you cannot abuse not only punishment, but also encouragement. Undeserved encouragement, praising a child is harmful common cause education. It develops self-satisfaction, vanity, and arrogance in the child. It is necessary to encourage in moderation, so that the encouragement actually serves as a stimulus, so that the child has a desire to study even better, to correct his behavior in some way.

I bring to your attention the results of a survey of our children.

Appendix 2

Problems in education are inexhaustible, like the sea. And no one can foresee all the possible turns, options, subtleties that may arise in our relationship with children.. And even if you have a different opinion about punishment than those stated by me, I ask you...

Don't rush to punish. Hotness is a bad teacher's assistant.

Don't delay punishment too long long terms, otherwise the punishment will turn into revenge. And revenge is always not worthy of a person.

There are children whom neither punishment nor kindness can win, but a generous attitude will ultimately save them.

Listen to a mother's story about parental anger “Teach a lesson once and for all” (Yu.B. Gippenreiter “How to communicate with a child?” Moscow AST Astrel 2008, art. 116)

And now I suggest working in micro groups. Discuss situations that can happen in our families. (Each group is given a situation that is discussed by the parents)

Pedagogical situation 1.

A mother returned from a meeting where they discussed her daughter's math problems. And instead of trying to calmly find out the reason for this lag at home, the mother says to her daughter: “Why are you so stupid, you’re the only one who got a bad mark for test work in mathematics" Is she right? What would you do?

Pedagogical situation 2.

The child behaves poorly on the street and at a party (that is, in those moments when other people’s gazes are fixed on us). The mother shouts: “Oh, you... How dare you!” Yes, I tell you...” and slaps the child on the head. Is she right? What would you do?

Pedagogical situation 3

For all academic successes, adults give gifts to the child as a token of gratitude. When the girl won a prize in the Olympiad, her grandmother bought her a book about Pushkin and candy as a gift as a reward. And Nadya, unwrapping the gift, made a grimace and announced publicly: “We have books, but we don’t need such cheap candies!” And she turned away.

What mistakes were made in education? What would you do?

Pedagogical situation 4.

The child asks to buy a construction set. And the adults promise: “When you finish the academic quarter without C grades, then we’ll buy a construction set.”

What mistakes were made? What would you do?

And at the end of our dialogue about raising children, I would like to give you REMINDERS that will help you get out of situations where it seems that punishment needs to be applied.

Appendix 3 Good luck raising your children!

Appendix 3

Memo to parents

"Encouragement and punishment of children in the family"

Listen to your child. Get to the bottom of his problem. It is not necessary to agree with the child’s point of view, but thanks parental attention he will feel his importance and his human dignity.

Make decisions together with your child, and also give him the right to make independent decisions: the child is more willing to obey the rules that he sets himself.

Try to prevent the situation or change it so that the child does not have to behave incorrectly.

Give your child the opportunity to rest and switch from one activity to another.

When demanding something from a child, give him clear and precise instructions.

Do not be indignant if the child, perhaps, did not understand or forgot something. Without irritation, patiently explain to him the essence of your requirements again. The child needs repetition.

Do not make unreasonable demands on your child.

Don't act rashly. Stop and analyze why the child behaves the way he does, as evidenced by his actions.

Think about how you can help your child in this situation.

Smile approvingly at your child as often as possible. Encourage him with gestures: he will always be warm and cozy if mom touches his head, and dad hugs him approvingly and shakes his hand.

Verbally express approval even for the child’s smallest successes.

Teach your child to be grateful for any signs of attention shown to him.

If your child is given gifts, never analyze their cost and value with him. This can lead to serious moral problems.

Teach your child to understand and appreciate the encouragement of their parents.

Remember! Your attention, love, affection, friendly participation and affection can do more for your child than the most expensive gift!

Good luck to you dear parents!

Appendix 4

Analysis of student surveys

I get praised if...	They don't praise	I help at home	good progress in studies	I eat well
They give me gifts …		For the New Year, Birthday	Just like that	For help at home
They give me money...		When I ask	Just like that	For study and help
I am allowed: Walk, play on PC, go to visit, if...	I do my homework well	If I help my mother	Just like that, when I ask

Literature:

N.V. Lobodina “Parent meetings in elementary school” Issue 3 Volgograd 2007

N.I. Derekleeva “Parent meetings” grades 1-4 Moscow “Wakko” 2005

Yu.B. Gippenreiter “How to communicate with a child?” Moscow AST "Astrel" 2006

Weekly supplement to the newspaper “First of September” “ Primary school» No. 31 2000 Article by V. Kudryashova “To beat or not to beat?”