Child theft is a problem that all parents face. This behavior usually causes confusion, panic and bewilderment among older family members. We will tell you about the main reasons why a child steals money, and what you need to do in such a situation.

Child theft is quite common. Almost every child is faced with the temptation to take something that is not theirs. If this situation has affected your family, do not panic. The problem has a solution. You just need to understand the reasons for this behavior and respond correctly to it. In this case, you need to take into account the child’s age, his relationships with you and his peers.

Such features are purely individual. One child, caught stealing once, will experience severe emotional shock and will forever give up such ventures. Another, experiencing systematic punishment, will continue to steal again and again. Both situations require attention and a responsible approach on the part of parents.

Why does a child steal?

The psychology, motives and essence of child thefts largely depend on when exactly children start stealing.

If the child is less than 3-4 years old, we cannot talk about conscious theft. At this time, the baby is just beginning to analyze the concepts of other people's property and value. It is still difficult for him to control his desires to own something.
At an older age, having reached the age of 5-6 years, the child already understands well and is aware of the boundaries of what is permitted. Theft in this case indicates certain problems in socialization and relationships with parents. You need to understand the child’s motives and the goals of this behavior in order to nip it in the bud.
There may be several reasons why a child 6-7 years old and older steals:

1. The child lacks attention, and we can talk about both the attention of parents and the attention of friends and peers. Having discovered the loss, everyone stops their daily activities and starts looking for money, and the little director of this play likes to watch how the situation changes dramatically. Even an educational conversation about how wrong it is to steal becomes an unnecessary reason for communication for the child.
2. The child feels deprived, not having what other children have. This is especially true for children, who are currently the only ones in the family. When parents refuse to buy an expensive toy, the little schemer thinks about how to get this trophy and decides to steal money from his parents to buy the coveted object.
3. The desire to earn the respect of peers. The one who has the most toys has the most influence in children's society. If your child strives to be a leader, he will look for leverage and ways to get it, even bypassing parental prohibitions. One solution is theft.
4. The child repeats the behavior of one of the adults. The reasons for theft may lie in watching mom take money from dad's wallet without asking. If adults bring other people's things into the house, this can also lead the child to think that this is normal.
5. He uses stealing as revenge, a way to punish someone. If you recently punished your child for an offense, the reason for the theft may be hidden in a desire for revenge, to express your resentment.

Analyze the situation and identify the key cause of the incident. This will help you plan an action plan and choose the right words to explain to your child that this should not be done. When you understand the motives that underlie this behavior, you will be able to purposefully solve the problem without turning to a psychologist.

What to do in case of the first theft?

Having noticed the loss of money at home or seeing other people's objects, money in the child's things, you should not ignore such a situation - such behavior must be dealt with without delay. In this case, the value of the stolen item does not matter, be it a cheap toy or an expensive one, large or small banknotes. The fact of theft itself, and not its size, should be a concern. A psychologist is needed only as a last resort; first try to cope with this incident on your own.

Talk about what happened

We can't do without a serious conversation. Ask a direct question and watch the reaction. If the child honestly admits his guilt, explain to him the inadmissibility and consequences of such behavior.

• If the child honestly admits his guilt, praise him for his courage, and then explain the inadmissibility and consequences of such an act.
• If in response you receive silence, tears or a refusal to admit guilt, on the one hand, this is a positive signal: the child is ashamed of his behavior. However, the reason for the inability to confess may also be copying the behavior of parents during quarrels and family squabbles. Gently hint that you understand why this happened. At the same time, you need to be serious and strict, and not reduce the conversation to a joke or a game.

Find out the reason for the theft

When a child confesses, every effort must be made to ensure that he explains why he did it. We are talking about talking with children over 4 years old - they already understand why and why they do certain things. Try to create a trusting atmosphere so that the child can reveal to you the true reasons for his action. Take the advice of a psychologist: ask what worries him, what offends him, why he is upset. Listen to your child - this will help determine the reasons and measures to prevent repeated theft.

Explain the negative aspects of theft

Tell where money comes from, emphasize the fact that it needs to be earned, and not taken from strangers. Explain that in society, theft is followed by criminal punishment, imprisonment and loss of reputation. Let children understand that people who do this become outcasts that no one respects.

Put the child in the place of the victim

In case of appropriation of someone else's toy, ask your child if he would be glad if his favorite car or doll was taken away from him. It is easier for children to understand their own feelings and emotions than to feel sorry for the victim. When he imagines himself in the place of the one from whom he stole his favorite toy, the child will understand what a mistake he made. In the future, this association will stop him if he wants to appropriate something.

Do not shout or humiliate the child. You cannot call him a thief, threaten him with cruel punishment, or abandon him. This will provoke fear and mistrust, which will only make the situation worse. The child may not stop stealing, but now he will hide everything from you for fear of being rejected.

Determine the punishment

You need to be strict in this matter. Explain to the culprit that the stolen amount or item must be returned or paid for. He must feel the consequences of a wrong action. As payback, you can offer housework that he did not do before, or other help to his parents.

Arrange for the return of the stolen item. It is advisable for the child to ask you for forgiveness for stealing money from your wallet or apologize to a friend from whom he stole a toy.

When should you see a psychologist?

Sometimes the situation gets out of control. Parents cannot understand what to do if this is not the first time their child steals. If your child begins to steal regularly, and educational measures do not help, this may be a reason to seek help from a psychologist.

When once again your arguments and actions are not successful, make an appointment with a specialist. Perhaps it’s not just a matter of attention deficit at home or the desire to gain authority among peers. One of the reasons for child theft is kleptomania. This disease is distinguished by:

• Impulsive attraction. Children steal without a specific purpose or preparation.
• An irresistible urge to satisfy the need to steal. Talking and admonishing parents does not help.
• Psycho-emotional stress. When a need is not satisfied for a long time, the baby withdraws or shows aggression.
• Promiscuity. The child doesn’t care what he steals - he began to steal not only toys and money, but also objects that are completely useless for children.

When you identify one or more signs of kleptomania, do not refuse professional help from a psychologist. Experts will tell you how to solve problems that arise at this age.

Cases of child theft are not that rare. Almost every child has taken something that belongs to someone else at least once in their life. The reaction of the parents plays a big role in this situation. Whether this situation will happen again depends on the reaction of the parents. But in any case, you need to deal with the reason. In each age group, the reasons for theft may be different.

The age of 4-6 years is the age of formation of moral habits, but this does not mean that they have already been established. As a rule, children are already able to distinguish between “mine” and “not mine” and have the concept of personal space and personal property. But, on the other hand, it is often difficult for a child to curb the impulsiveness of his desires, and this can lead to theft.

Voluntary behavior, subordinate to internal social norms, is usually formed by the age of 6-7 years. But some children have difficulty with this. Typically, these children are more active and excitable; it is difficult for them not only to restrain their desires, but also to simply sit calmly in class and listen carefully to the teacher. The cause of impulsivity may be temperamental characteristics (increased activity), and temporary neurotic reactions to any mental trauma (divorce of parents, moving, entering school), and serious mental disorders (for example, mental retardation).

In older children (from 8 to 10-11 years old), theft is often associated with insufficient development of the volitional sphere: the child has a hard time responding to his “I want!” firmly say “no!” to yourself. It is very difficult for such children to cope with temptation, although they feel shame for their action. The child knows that stealing is wrong, but is unable to resist his “want” and commits theft.

For a teenager (12-15 years old), theft is already a conscious step, and maybe even a bad habit.

The motives for theft can be very different and it is important to understand the reasons.

Psychological portrait of a “thief”

Research by psychologist E.H. Davydova, conducted in families of children who steal, showed that theft is often a child’s reaction to traumatic life circumstances.

M. Kravtsova confirms that in families of children who steal, there is emotional coldness between relatives. A child from such a family either feels that he is not loved, or in early childhood experienced a divorce from his parents, and although the relationship with his father is preserved, he sees alienation, even hostility, between his parents.

If you draw up a psychological portrait of a child who steals, then, first of all, what attracts attention is his goodwill towards others and his openness. As a rule, these are insecure, vulnerable children who need support and emotional acceptance from loved ones.

The child’s attempts to restore the lost connection with his parents quite often become the cause of theft. A child can use theft to gain attention from his parents. Let this attention be negative. The main thing is that the child will receive this attention.

M. Kravtsova notes that these children gave the impression of being dependent and infantile.

Often thieves are distinguished by insufficient development of will. Some children understand that they are doing something reprehensible, some children appropriate someone else's property without even thinking about the consequences. They take the hands they like and help themselves to other people's sweets without asking. When committing “thefts,” children do not put themselves in the place of the “victim” and do not imagine her feelings, unlike a child who takes revenge on his “offenders” by stealing.

Let's talk in more detail about the reasons for child theft. Recommendations to parents and advice on further prevention of these situations will depend on understanding the cause in each specific case.

What are the reasons for children's theft?

M. Kravtsova conventionally identifies three main reasons for child theft:

1. A strong desire to own the thing you like, despite the voice of conscience.
2. Serious psychological dissatisfaction of the child.
3. Lack of development of moral ideas and will.

Let us describe in more detail and specifically the most common causes of child theft.

1. We have already described one of the reasons - trouble in the family sphere, lack of parental love, desire to attract attention. Perhaps the parents are too focused on their own affairs, perhaps there is trouble in the marital relationship, perhaps a younger brother (sister) was born and he (she) is now destined for most of the parental love. The child feels lonely and abandoned, it seems to him that his parents pay less attention to him, or that he is not loved, or that he is being unfair. And then he can take money or some other thing from his mother’s bag, but always in such a way that the loss is easily detected. The child doesn’t really need the money itself. Theft, in this case, is a means to attract the attention of parents, a cry for help. It happens that, not finding support and understanding in the family, a child begins to steal outside the family. One gets the feeling that he is doing this to spite his always busy and dissatisfied parents or to take revenge on his more prosperous peers.

For those children who seek the attention of their parents through theft, noisy scandals and severe punishments only convince them of the correctness of their chosen strategy.

When you are punished, it is still better than when you are not noticed at all. In such cases, it is recommended to ignore the fact of theft or treat it as an ordinary event. Parents need to communicate more with the child, be sure to approve of his actions (if there is even a small reason). It is necessary for the child to develop a sense of self-worth, recognition, acceptance in the family and understanding, to make it clear that it is better to do actions approved by parents and society than negative ones.

2. Theft can happen way of self-affirmation, which is also evidence of the child’s psychological distress. In this way he wants to attract attention to himself, to win someone’s favor (with various treats or beautiful things). If a child lacks parental attention, lacks recognition, a sense of significance in his family, he may try to look for this in peer groups. E.H. Davydova notes that the condition for happiness for such children is the good attitude of their parents towards them, good attitude towards them in the class, the presence of friends and material wealth. For example, a child who stole money from home and bought candy with it gives it to other children in order to buy their love, friendship, and good attitude. The child increases his own importance or tries to attract the attention of others in the only possible way, in his opinion. This can be done by older preschoolers and younger schoolchildren. In adolescence, “theft of prestige” and theft “on a bet” may occur due to the desire to establish oneself in the group.

A global solution to this problem should be sought in the relationship between parents and child.

It is necessary to work with the reason - and the reason here is low self-esteem, undeveloped communication skills. It is also worth discussing the topic of “friendship”, talking about how to properly meet guys, how to interest them, etc. - all this needs to be explained to your child, and if necessary, then play out the corresponding situations with him. It is also worth explaining that it is unlikely that you will be able to gain authority from a group of peers in this way; there are other, more worthy ways to do this. You can, for example, organize a children's holiday (party, a joint trip to a picnic), invite the child's friends. At the same time, it is important to emphasize to friends the importance of the child, to show him respect, to show how the child is taken into account.

It is important to identify a child’s abilities and talents - this greatly increases self-esteem in the child himself and in the eyes of his peers.

3. A child may steal a toy that was boasted to him for a long time, he was offended. He stole to take revenge on the offender. “I’ll take Sashka’s car because he beat me,” the child reasons. In this case, it is important to help the child develop the correct position and behavior in such situations. That is, the child understands well what he is doing and why he is doing it. The fight against theft of this kind is carried out in the same way as in the previous case with the help of explanation, persuasion, and by playing out conflict situations.

You can play out scenes with kids where toys solve similar problems. This type of theft is typical for older preschoolers and younger schoolchildren.

4. The child cannot understand which things are his and which are strangers. Such misunderstanding is typical for a child when he is 2-4 years old. It is necessary to explain this to him in each specific situation, so that the baby knows the boundaries of his own and someone else’s (including members of his family). Parents should tell him about this more than once; it is better to accompany his story with an analysis of a specific situation, and to make it clearer for the child, draw his attention to the experiences of a person who has lost something.

It is important that the child has his own crib, his own corner, his own toys. When there is no concept of “mine,” it is difficult to comprehend the concept of “alien.”

It happens that these concepts are not formed even at an older age, which may indicate intra-family problems.

5. A child may like a toy so much, and he wants to own her that he doesn't even realize he stole her.

This can happen when a child's needs are often ignored by parents. In this case, parents should pay attention to those needs that the child is not meeting. It is important that the child’s stable, constant desire for something is at least partially satisfied, and does not cause severe stress or anxiety. The exceptions are momentary desires, for which the child really has no need. This occurs in preschoolers.

In older children (from 8 to 10-11 years old), theft with such motivation is often associated with insufficient development of the volitional sphere: the child has a hard time responding to his “I want!” firmly say “no!” to yourself. It is very difficult for such children to cope with temptation, although they feel shame for their action. The child knows that this is theft, that stealing is wrong, but is unable to resist his “Want” and commits theft. The main recommendation in this case is the following: never do for a child what he is already able to cope with himself. It is also useful to encourage your child to set goals and achieve them. Start with short-term goals: where are we going? what will you do today? And do not change his program, let the child implement it. This is an important quality: the ability to set a goal for yourself and fulfill it.

6. Desire make a gift to someone close (usually parents). This reason is also related to the lack of understanding of the negative assessment of theft. The child strives in one way or another to please his mother - and the fact that he is doing wrong simply does not occur to him. It's worth explaining this to him.

7. The child can imitate adults, copy their behavior.

Perhaps someone in the family brings something home from work and talks about it.

Perhaps the parents at home are discussing other people who receive their livelihood through dishonest means, expressing their envy or saying that such people should be followed as an example. You should not allow your child to be present during such conversations.

8. Extortion from older children.

In this case, parents must protect their child by stopping any attempts at intimidation or blackmail. It is important to explain to the child that in such cases he can turn to his parents and teachers for help.

9. Kleptomania. This is a very rare disease, especially among children. In this case, the child should be shown to a neuropsychiatrist or psychiatrist.

Errors in education that provoke child theft

The main mistakes in education that can provoke child theft include the following:

lack of consistency in upbringing: in one situation the child is punished, and in another they “turn a blind eye” to the offense: they threatened to punish, but did not punish;

inconsistency of adult demands (father allows, but mother forbids);

“double morality” - the parents’ actions are at odds with the case (for example, the parents instill in the child “that you can’t take someone else’s,” but they themselves bring from work something that “doesn’t fit well.” The child, sincerely believing in the authority and infallibility of the parents, follows their example and for a long time he cannot understand why he is scolded if he acts like mom and dad.);

a situation of permissiveness, raising a child in the “family idol” style: the child grows up with the thought “I am the best”, he does not learn to take into account the opinions of other people, he is guided only by his own desires and interests. Such children, when they find themselves in a group of peers, continue to behave in the same way as in the family, but very quickly receive “feedback” from the children - they do not want to communicate with them. They sincerely don’t understand why they can’t take what they want. And parents begin to blame other children for their harmful influence on their “miracle child”;

total control over the child’s behavior and actions. Some children take an active “defensive” position, constantly showing stubbornness and getting into arguments over any reason. Others “go underground,” continuing to commit acts condemned by adults, but at those moments when no attention is paid to them.

What advice can be given to parents if there has been a case of theft?

First of all, you need to find out the situation in detail. Much will depend on the age of the child and the circumstances of the event, the reasons for the theft and the child’s motivation.

If a child brings someone else's toy into the house, this is not always theft. Children often exchange toys, and the monetary value of the toy does not matter to them.

If this is someone's toy, then it is important to find out the nuances of the relationship between the child and the owner of the toy. What is behind this offense is the desire to attract attention and make friends, or, conversely, disdain for another child, who may occupy the position of an outcast in the group, or the desire to take revenge. It is important how the fact of theft was discovered - by accident or by the child himself.

It is worth paying attention to how he himself feels about his action - he is ashamed, he repents, or believes that everything that happened is in the order of things. If there is no feeling of guilt at all, the parents' assessment should be sharp and definite: the child should feel that such behavior is unacceptable and condemned. It is important to express confidence that, of course, this will not happen again.

If a child knows that he did wrong, then it is wiser, when giving an assessment, to focus not on making him feel guilty, but to paint a picture of the experiences of the one who lost his toy, and develop a strategy for returning the thing without unnecessary humiliation.

There are some general rules that apply to all ages and all cases of theft.

Do not throw hysterics and scandals, do not assume that something irreparable has happened to the child. Forceful punishment is the most seductive and the most ineffective, since it does not solve the problem that has arisen, but more often aggravates it. It does not promote trust between parents and child and may encourage the child to do a better job of hiding stolen property next time. By giving vent to your indignation, you can ruin a child’s life, deprive him of confidence in the right to be treated well by others, and thereby of self-confidence.

It is important to talk kindly and without strangers with the child: find out where the toy or thing came from, how he wanted to dispose of the stolen property. What kind of relationship does the child have with the owner of the item? This way you can understand the child’s motivation.

You need to let the child understand how upsetting the parents are about what is happening, but it is better not to call the incident “theft,” “theft,” or “crime.” A calm conversation, a discussion of feelings, a joint search for a solution is better than a showdown.

You cannot blame a child if his guilt has not been proven.

You cannot call a child a thief, etc., i.e. hang “labels” on him, predicting a criminal future for him.

You can express a negative assessment of the child’s actions (but not the individual), with specific condemnation of such behavior.

Talk about the consequences of such an act from the perspective of the experiences and feelings of a person who has lost his favorite thing, money.

Avoid comparisons with other children and with yourself as a child, saying, for example: “This has never happened in our family,” or “How I envy other parents who don’t have to be ashamed of their children.”

Do not require the child to swear that this was the first and last theft.

You cannot discuss your child’s behavior in the presence of strangers.

We must not allow the child to be judged publicly and do not insist on demonstrative apologies.

If possible, organize the return of the stolen item, preferably without witnesses. If it is impossible to return it this way, pretend that the child found it and return it to the owner. Share responsibility with the child, help him correct the situation.

If money is stolen from your parents, you need to express your grief over their absence and tell them what they were intended for. You can limit the whole family in something significant - for example, we don’t eat sweets for a month, don’t go to the cinema, etc., until the stolen amount is collected.

It is important to make it clear to your child that you can always count on your parents’ help in a difficult situation.

When discussing what happened, remember that strong negative feelings can cause the child to hide all actions that he considers shameful or bad.

It is important to understand the true reasons for theft and work with them.

Do not return to what happened (after the situation has been sorted out), because This will only cement this act in the child’s mind.

Prevention of child theft.

Complete mutual trust between parents and child is the best prevention of child theft. In a family where parents do not lie, children answer them in kind, and theft is rare.

It happens that a child does not have his own personal territory, his own personal belongings, which he can completely dispose of at his own discretion. He does not form the concept of “friend or foe.” He can take things from home without perceiving their sale or gift as theft. It is important to clearly delineate for the child the boundary between his own things and common ones, which he has the right to use, but does not have the right to dispose of. It is the child’s lack of experience in owning property that provokes theft.
It would be good to direct the child’s activity “in a peaceful direction”: you need to find out what really interests the child (sports, art, collecting some kind of collection, some books, photography, etc.). A person whose life is filled with activities that are interesting to him feels happier and more needed.

The child must be taught to empathize and think about the feelings of others. We need to introduce him to the rule: “Do as you want to be treated,” and explain the meaning of this rule using examples from your own life.
The child needs to be responsible for someone or something in the family - for his younger brother, for the presence of fresh bread in the house, for watering the flowers, and certainly, starting from the age of 7-8, for his own briefcase, table, room, etc. . We need to gradually hand over things to him and share responsibility with him.
The simplest measure to prevent child theft is not to provoke it. For example, do not scatter money around the apartment, but keep it out of reach of the child. Sometimes this alone is enough.

An effective way to prevent theft is to provide your child with pocket money. This should not be money for breakfast at school, it should be personal pocket money, issued regularly, which the child can spend at his own discretion. Children perceive their own money with great responsibility. As a rule, even seven-year-old children manage the amount regularly given to them very wisely, and from the age of nine they begin to save it for large purchases, which indicates that they have successfully overcome their impulsiveness. As you get older, the amount should increase.

Family councils, where family members distribute the budget, are very helpful in avoiding home theft. They determine the total income and distribute it for various needs: food, rent, transportation, large purchases, vacation. The council makes contributions for personal expenses for both children and parents. The child becomes involved in the expenditure of funds and even has the right to vote, which raises him in his own eyes and makes him more responsible for family affairs. The child also sees the limits of the family budget, he learns how much it costs in this world. He learns to plan. It is more difficult to commit theft under these conditions.

You can help your teenager find an opportunity to earn money himself.

This is something worth talking about with a parent who has contacted you about the theft of their child. This information can help a parent correctly structure their behavior towards a child who has committed theft and prevent a similar situation in the future.

In conclusion, we can say that the general strategy of parents’ behavior in relation to the theft of their children should depend on the reasons for the child’s behavior, the clarification of which is of paramount importance. But in any case, it is necessary to remember that the appearance of such an alarming signal as theft indicates a child’s psychological distress - this is a cry for help!

Almost every child has taken something foreign at least once in their life.

This is what experts say. Just remember your childhood: has it really never happened that after a walk someone’s doll ended up in someone’s pocket, and your parents’ wallets didn’t suffer from your raids?

There are probably children who have never in their lives set their sights on something that does not belong to them. Low bow to their parents! After all, it is upbringing, positioning of the world and quantity that determines whether a child will “steal.”

Almost every parent who is faced with such an unpleasant situation feels confused, not knowing how to react to what is happening.

Is my child sick?

Adults are so worried that the child is not growing up as ideally as they would like that they immediately attribute some kind of illness to their child. “Is he okay at all?” - often the first parental question in the psychologist’s office.

And mom and dad are completely unaware that their growing offspring suffers greatly because of the offense he committed . Children do not always realize the full depth of their suffering, but this is how our psyche works: to cross out in our consciousness what is very painful to perceive.

Child theft can be called a disease if there is kleptomania, that is, systematic theft, uncontrollable and without material gain for oneself. This disorder must be treated by a psychiatrist. But true kleptomania is quite rare .

Daria Selivanova, child psychologist: “We need to look at child theft not as a serious offense, but as a problem from which the child suffers. This is how the child gives a signal that something is wrong with him, his relationship with the world, or with you. It’s very good that you noticed the problem at such an age. This way you can figure out the reason for it quite early. It’s better to solve the problem now than later this situation will develop into something more serious, even problems with the law.”.

Reasons for child theft

At the age of 6-7 years, the child becomes very dependent on his peers and their attitude towards him. The offspring can consciously and purposefully achieve what he wants, using quick and accessible methods. A very common goal for him much more important than the fear of punishment for an offense . For example, a child will want to increase his self-esteem and gain recognition from his classmates by treating them to sweets, the money for which he stole from his parent’s wallet.

It is important to pay attention to the reason for theft - underdeveloped communication skills or low self-esteem. Parents need to discuss with their child what true friendship is, how to properly meet and communicate with peers, and how to interest them. You can play out the corresponding situations with your child.

Another reason for child theft may be desire to take revenge on someone. For example, take away Seryozha’s car because “he offended me” or draw with mom’s lipstick on the wallpaper so that next time she knows how to refuse to buy a toy. The child understands well what he is doing and why. You need to talk to the child, convince him that there is no need to do this, and play out conflict situations.

Never accuse your child of stealing, do not call him a thief and do not react too sharply to his action. This will greatly influence the solution of the problem

For children 8-10 years old attempts at theft appear due to insufficient development of the volitional sphere. A child cannot refuse his “I want!” It is very difficult for him to cope with temptation, although this does not mean that he is not ashamed of his action.

In this case, parents should give their child more freedom of action . There is no need to do for him what the offspring can easily handle on his own. Let him propose goals for himself and fulfill them. Start with a daily plan or . There is no need to change his program; let the child realize everything he has planned. This way you develop in your child independence and the ability to achieve their goals.

How to stop a child from stealing

This path is quite difficult, and let's walk it together.

React calmly. Of course, we understand all the surging anger and disappointment, but suppress them within yourself. Do not make scandals, do not hit or even yell at the child. This will only make the problem worse. It’s better to talk to him in a calm atmosphere, discuss what happened, where and when, who the child was with and how it all happened. Unfortunately, more often than not, the question “Why did you do that?” remains unanswered.

Remember: Never accuse your child of stealing, do not call him a thief and do not react too sharply to his action. You will be upset and angry, but try to remain calm. This will greatly influence the solution of the problem.

Think about whether recently changes in the family(moving, divorce, birth of another child): maybe the offspring just doesn’t have enough of your attention? The child may not yet have learned concepts such as honesty, ownership, and the need to ask permission before taking anything. Explain these concepts to him again, play them out, and remember that parents should set an example for their children. Maybe your family has lax rules about property?

Explain why stealing is bad. No need to lecture, just state your vision of the importance of honesty. “We don’t take other people’s things because we trust each other. I hope you will always be honest, respect other people's property and not take other people's things without permission." You can discuss with him the possible consequences of theft (bad reputation, loss of friends, problems with the law).

Tell me about your feelings. Very often children do not realize how much pain they bring to other people. Say that you would be very upset if your favorite lipstick disappeared. Invite your child to imagine his feelings when his favorite toy or pocket money goes missing.

Insist on fixing the situation. Demand that the child return the stolen item and apologize to the owner of this very thing. At the same time, let him understand that you will always be there, you will accompany your child and support him. If your child stole something from a store, first talk to its owner so that he will kindly forgive the child for his offense. If the item is already damaged and cannot be returned, let him pay the cost from his pocket money.

Interesting fact. Around the world, about 50% of all thefts of bicycles, money from ATMs and items from stores are committed by children. Contrary to what society believes, such behavior at a young age does not prevent them from growing up to be law-abiding and respectable citizens.

Become more attentive to your offspring, give him as much time as possible , show your love and care for him. Talk only about homework and cleaning the room! After all, our children do everything only out of love for us and in pursuit of our attention.

If the situation cannot be resolved, contact. But remember that kleptomania is not common, and recovery from it is not as difficult as it might seem at first glance.

Once again we are convinced that all problems in children arise because we do not pay enough attention to them. Love and appreciate your children!

Has your child started stealing? Don’t rush to pick up the belt, find out the types of child thefts and their reasons.

Child theft is not uncommon, but for every family it becomes a tragedy that disrupts the usual rhythm of quiet everyday life. First, parents notice that small bills are disappearing from their wallet, and then teachers, relatives, and neighbors report the child’s dishonesty. There is no need to rush into panic; first you need to figure out why children steal, what childhood kleptomania is like and how to deal with it.

How to become little thieves

According to psychologists, children often steal from their parents. Parents hide this act, like alcoholism in their adult relative. They associate theft with the criminal world and, as a rule, feel awkward and confused.

Some parents scold their baby, others try to convince themselves that they made a mistake in counting the money in their wallet.

In order to react correctly and protect your child from unpleasant consequences, you need to figure out why the child started stealing? Maybe he is tempted by the ease of getting money, with which he can buy sweets or other useful little things in the store. Or he is protesting against loneliness.

After the first awkwardness and fear for his action, the preschooler gradually begins to feel brave, dexterous and cunning. He understands the unseemly nature of his behavior, but the desire to buy the thing he likes overcomes the feeling of shame. A small child is often deterred from stealing only by fear of punishment. But, when there is hope that the theft will go unnoticed, then nothing can stop even a well-mannered child. By determining the type of theft, it is easier to find a solution to the problem.

Impulsive theft

The child’s behavior, subordinate to the demands of society, is formed closer to school age. But active, excitable children have difficulty restraining their desires.
Causes of baby excitability:

• mental retardation;
• increased excitability;
• mental trauma.

The cause of mental trauma can be quarrels between parents, moving to another place, or entering first grade.

With impulsive theft, the child strongly wants to possess something, and he is unable to resist. Such children need to be strictly monitored, their purchases or new small things should be monitored. He must know that even for petty theft he will face inevitable punishment. You shouldn’t turn a blind eye to your baby’s theft, but you also shouldn’t panic and complain to neighbors and relatives.

If a child steals from strangers, then under no circumstances should the facts of theft be hushed up. No matter how unpleasant it may be, you should tell the victims about the theft and force the culprit to return everything stolen. An unpleasant procedure can serve as a good lesson, perhaps it will save you from more serious actions.

Stealing as a sign of protest

A child may begin to steal as a sign of protest, thereby fighting against perceived injustice. Here is a real story with a clear example and expert advice on how to stop a child from stealing.

Vasya’s mother came to a psychologist asking for help with a family problem. Her son steals not only from his parents, but also from strangers. It turned out that Vasya does not remember his own father. His mother very successfully married a businessman for the second time. Soon they had a child together, in whom the father and mother doted on each other.

Mom got a job, took care of the youngest, and Vasya grew up as a homeless guy. He closed himself off, spoke little, had no friends. The boy felt his loneliness acutely, because unlike his younger brother, little attention was paid to him.

First, the boy stole a ring from his grandmother. She, feeling sorry for her grandson, hid the fact of the theft. But then he started taking money from his stepfather. With stolen funds, he bought sweets and simply gave them away to his less wealthy friends. Sometimes he took things from home and gave them to the poor.

The psychologist advised the parents to allocate money to their son for his personal needs, and to keep part of the funds in a secret place for the boy. He recommended donating unnecessary things to a charitable society, entrusting this to his eldest son. But the main thing is to show the boy more attention and love.

By taking money from parents, an abandoned child thus wants to attract their attention. Such a child does not need money. Let him be scolded and even punished, but they will finally pay attention to him. Then experts advise simply not paying attention to the missing money or simply scolding the child.

Simple praise for school success and household chores will help. Try to buy him a long-awaited gift or take him to the park, cinema, or cafe. The little person will experience a feeling of shame, which will deter him from further theft.

Raising a thief with your own hands

It often happens that parents themselves are to blame for children's theft. They dream that their children will support them in old age and encourage their entrepreneurial inclinations. Adults do not control children's expenses and are happy that they do not ask them for money. Then they are surprised when they are invited to the police station.

There parents hear about the terrible actions of their son or daughter. They learn that the teenager extorted money from elementary school students or blackmailed older ones. The parents only encouraged the independence of their heir, wanting to raise him to be a strong personality. But a child’s definition of “strong personality” can be deeply mistaken.

Envy as an impetus to steal

Sometimes a child steals from school out of envy. He is jealous of the richer children and wants to take revenge on them. This happens if parents, in front of a schoolchild, condemn wealthy neighbors or just acquaintances. A teenager, seeking to restore class injustice, begins to steal. If his parents don't stop him in time, the police will.

It is necessary to monitor your baby and promptly eliminate problems in his upbringing. Even if you tend to feel jealous, do not express your emotions in front of your children.

Kleptomania is a rare disease

Kleptomania is a mental disease, but it is rare - out of a hundred adult thieves, about five people suffer from kleptomania. But many of them simply feign illness. Children almost never get sick with kleptomania, so don’t rush to make a diagnosis yourself.

What to do if a child steals money for no apparent reason? Take him to a psychologist to rule out or confirm an unpleasant diagnosis. Try to distract your son or daughter, for example, get a pet using ours, or help him learn new ones.

Prevention and caution

If a child steals money, the advice of a psychologist begins with preventive measures.

1. The best prevention is not to give your child a reason to steal money. He can't let him know where his parents keep their savings.
2. The child must know the boundary between his own and other people's things. He can use his things, but does not have the right to give or sell them. He has no right to take other people's things.
3. You need to allocate money for pocket expenses. The child will treat such money responsibly. Even younger schoolchildren, considering these funds their own, save them for expensive things. This way they overcome their impulsiveness. Regularly issuing a small amount will teach him to take care of other people's property and not steal.

Now you know the main reasons for child theft and what to do if a child steals money and lies. If these tips do not help, do not delay, but contact a professional as soon as possible.

Most parents in such a situation begin to ask themselves the question: “Why did this happen to my child? " Then confusion sets in, and then panic: “What will friends and relatives think now? " Then the time comes for other questions and complaints to oneself: “I’m a useless teacher! ” or “ Punish him so that he understands everything! “Each parent experiences a storm of emotions in such a situation. But it is important how parents react to this situation. Is this actually the first time this has happened, or is it just the first time they noticed their child stealing?

Of course, it is very bad if a child steals money. The concepts of “thief”, “theft” and “theft” are negative and inapplicable to children. Because the child’s world is full of fantasies and the real world is almost inseparable for him. The child cannot independently understand that his action is wrong. In addition, parents should approach this situation based on the age of the child. For example, if the child is still very small and is not yet five years old, his step cannot be called theft. Little ones don’t even know such concepts as “my” thing or “someone else’s”. From the age of five or six, a child will be able to understand that objects belong to someone. Therefore, until the age of five, he cannot restrain himself or his desires. He wants to take something and he will take this thing. For him there is no such thing as the value of objects. But adults do not pay attention to this side of the situation and begin to panic that their child is stealing money. I wonder if they won’t be shocked if a child takes a plastic trinket without asking, but if they take a valuable item, they will start scolding him. For a child, these things are interesting not at all because of their cost. He simply followed his impulse.

In such cases, the child simply needs to be explained what personal property is. You cannot take personal items without permission. In addition, parents should remember that many children at a young age can be selfish. They are driven by the desire to find something or take what they want. Parents are obliged to teach their child to take any things with the permission of the owner.

By the way, there are various reasons why children take someone else’s thing without permission.

Seeing a new interesting toy, a child often experiences a burning desire to get this thing. So, after waiting for an opportunity, he quietly takes the toy home. The reason for this action can be explained by the fact that children are not yet familiar with the division of things into “mine”, “yours” or “someone else’s”. You cannot immediately call a child a thief. He just needs to explain that he took someone else’s, and it’s not good to take other people’s toys. Parents must accompany their explanations with an analysis of a specific case. So that the child understands how another child will suffer if he loses his toy.

There are situations when a child takes money without permission to give a gift to his mother. This act is associated with the child’s lack of understanding of the negative side of theft. He wanted to do something nice for his loved one. However, he does not understand that for this he is doing the wrong thing. In addition, the child can present it in such a way that he “found” money. He needs to explain that the term “found” is not applicable in this case. The money he found does not belong to him, so he cannot keep it. Children should be taught from a young age that “found” money or things do not become the property of the person who found them. But in real life, even parents do not always do the right thing when they find ownerless things or money on the street or somewhere else. The child learns from the parent's example. If he constantly sees that his parents take things from the office or from neighbors, then another example is not needed.

By the way, children often steal to attract attention. Thus, they wish to attract the attention of elders or peers as the owner of an item.

Sometimes a child may steal because he feels like he doesn't have enough of what his friends have. For example, now many children have pocket money. If the parents do not have money for the child’s expenses, then sooner or later he will find ways to satisfy his personal needs. Adult children begin to steal deliberately in order to gain power or control. It happens that a child steals to take revenge on someone.

How to behave if a child steals money? Firstly, parents must first understand the reasons for what happened. Then you need to think about what led the child to this act. It is very important to carefully understand all the nuances of this act. Pay attention to whether the child brought the money openly or hid it. Maybe he just wanted to draw attention to himself? Maybe money gives him power over others?

It is important to understand whether the child feels guilty? Having discovered the money, parents must speak out unequivocally; the money must be returned to the owner. That everyone around, both loved ones and society, condemns theft.

Parents, having discovered theft, should be strict, but they also need to take pity on the child. It is necessary to awaken a sense of shame in him. Then you need to help him correct the mistake. Having discovered a negative act, parents must show tact and determination. When the child understands his guilt, it is necessary to shift the emphasis to the feelings and experiences of loved ones, as well as people who have lost money or things. We need to help the child get out of the situation without humiliation. It is also necessary to take measures for return or compensation for damage. It is not recommended to threaten a child with the police if he refuses to admit his guilt. You cannot show aggression; an obvious threat leads the child into a dead end. You cannot call a child with insulting words and a thief. Have a confidential conversation with him, not a trial. Don't talk to your child in public. If parents begin to behave incorrectly, the child will no longer trust them. Remember, theft can become a child’s demarche against family troubles and mistakes in upbringing.