We present the seventeenth issue of our new project: a mini-interview with a psychotherapist “Ask Dr. Naritsyn.” An explanatory post about what it is, as well as for receiving questions from readers, is located.
A - plans for upcoming displays.

The topic of today's issue is "Tactile contact and kinesthetics." Questions are asked by the user cinober .

N.N.:- Speaking about physical contact, it is important to remember that this method of interaction is typical for many school animals. As a rule, it serves to additionally confirm that the individual “belongs to the pack.” In animals that have freed their forelimbs, physical contact can be especially important: for example, mutual grooming is often used as a sign of trust and intimacy.

On the other hand, if we talk about physical contact from the position not of society (a pack), but of an individual, then such contact is almost always, oddly enough, a kind of antonym for freedom and maintaining personal boundaries. Moreover, for many animals, physical contact sometimes means that they are about to be eaten. That is why it is so important that tactile communication is equally pleasant for both parties, and neither party perceives it as violence, restriction of freedom or unauthorized encroachment on personal boundaries. Because physical contact can be a confirmation of the psychological closeness of people, but - pay attention! - not its replacement and not its beginning. Therefore, it is important that during physical contact there is, as they say, “something to confirm.” By the way, you can easily notice that the attitude towards tactile contacts is not only different for different people, and even differently in relation to different people around. For example, you will let one person into your house, but not another; In the same way, sometimes you really want to let someone into your personal boundaries, but you absolutely don’t want to let someone in. And also, speaking about physical contact, one should clarify this subtlety: such contacts can be very different. For example, holding a hand - physical contact? Undoubtedly. Hug? Kiss? Tickle? Punch me in the ear? Does it hurt to pull your hair? Unscrew a button from a jacket? And so on and so forth.

One of the pretty complex cases Disharmony in a relationship is a situation where in a couple the partners have different needs for tactile contact. Therefore, it is advisable to discuss, among other things, the need of each partner for non-verbal communication before starting life together. But we will touch on this issue in more detail below.

- Are there people who do not experience the need for tactile contact or experience a negligible need? And if they do, how often and are there any types to whom this is most typical? Are there signs by which one can determine that a person does not like physical contact, and is not shy?

N.N.:- Of course, there are such people: at least due to the high variability of human characters and personality structures. But in this case, we should probably talk not so much about the types of “who like or don’t like physical contact”, but about situations and specific relationships. Because, as mentioned above, often the attitude towards physical contact depends on the degree of closeness of the relationship of specific people.

Yes, it also happens that some people have a higher need for tactile communication, while others have a lower need: this may depend on many factors. For example, depending on whether a person is a city dweller or a rural resident, on the specifics of upbringing and traditions in parental family, from character traits, from possible psychological trauma in relation to tactile communication, etc. etc. And the most difficult thing is that not a single person, roughly speaking, has it written on his forehead right away: he likes tactile contacts or not. Therefore, within the framework of ordinary formal politeness, it is accepted a priori to consider physical contact as a way of communication for people who are already quite close, and not for those who have just met. That is, by default - do not impose any tactile touches outside the framework of formally accepted communication (for example, the same handshake). And the less formal your relationship with a person, the closer your physical contact can be.

And regarding the question “How to figure out that a person does not like physical contact” - if you put it in words, then it’s very simple to calculate: if you use tactile communication in relation to this person, it means that de facto you are already close enough to ask him such a question verbally. And if your closeness is not enough for this, then for now it is better not to impose physical contact on him beyond generally accepted norms politeness.

- Is it true that there are often people who want physical contact, but are afraid, and in addition to this they also have intimate phobia (i.e. fear of any close relationship, not sex or marriage). How do you understand that this is the character in front of you?

N.N.:- If you are afraid of the presence of intimophobia in a person’s character in the understanding you have outlined, if this becomes relevant to you, it means that you intend to build some kind of close relationship with him. Because if such a relationship with someone is irrelevant to you, then theoretically it will not matter to you whether he has intimate phobia or not. So, at the stage of building close relationships, you can also either “ask in words” or observe reactions. And if you take all sorts of steps to establish psychological intimacy, but this is precisely what provokes your partner (partner) not to get closer to you, but, on the contrary, to move away from you, then there is a high probability that the person has intimate phobia. Although there is a certain percentage of probability that for some reason he (she) does not intend to build a close relationship with you specifically. But be that as it may, I think the reason is not so important here. You go to meet a person halfway - he moves away from you. This is his decision, and sometimes it is not so important what caused it.

- Do people with a frustrated need for physical contact really love petting cats, dogs and anyone else who doesn’t run away or bite? And is great love to petting cats as a sign that the character likes to pet people too?

N.N.:- I have come across the point of view of ethologists that people descended from monkeys, monkeys have fur and that is why people are so pleased to touch everything that is woolly and fluffy. Anyway, I don't think it's that simple; and the love of stroking cats and dogs, I suppose, does not always indicate a frustrated need for physical contact. At least because stroking animals and people are not the same thing. In addition, it often happens that a person likes to pet some dogs or cats, but not others. Here, too, everything is very selective.

- How many kinesthetics are there in the world, how common is this defect in men and women? How do you understand whether your “appetites” fit within the normal range, or whether you are just a kinesthetic person? :)

N.N.:- Here, to begin with, as they say, let's drink to the accuracy of the wording. The division of all people according to the preferred channel of perception - into auditory, visual and kinesthetic - refers to only one psychological theory: frankly speaking, it is doubtful regarding the absolute division of all people into these three groups. But even if you consider yourself a kinesthetic person, first of all, who told you that this is a defect? Touch is the same sense as vision, hearing, and all the others; and kinesthetic, if we speak in this language, is the same variant of the norm as auditory and visual. Secondly, don't confuse tactile method obtaining information about the outside world with the need for physical contact. And thirdly, regarding physical contact, a variant of the norm would be everything that pleases both adults and capable people.

I would venture to guess: you think that you have “an abnormally increased need for physical contact with your interlocutor,” and you have decided that you are a kinesthetic person and this is such a defect. If only because for this need you have already received more than once negative reviews. However, the attraction to tactile contact may not be caused by a “preferred way of perceiving the world”, but, for example, by some kind of internal anxiety, or a lack of tactile impressions in childhood, or some other unconscious problem that can be completely corrected (if this bothers you exist adequately, communicate, etc.). And there is no need at all to label yourself “I am a kinesthetic person and therefore I am defective.”

- Can an insidious kinesthetic person make his partner also love hugs/stroking/other touches in order to use him for his own dirty purposes? :) Or should we immediately look for people like ourselves? Is it possible to reduce your own need for tactile contact and how?

N.N.:- Here, most likely, at the beginning of the question we have the opportunity to communicate with your inner Parent (according to Eric Berne). This Parent has already made an assessment of the kinesthetics - that he is insidious, and defined the goals as dirty (the smiley face is a smiley face, but there is some truth in every joke). This is a very common Parental reaction: “You get in trouble from someone - you behave badly - you are bad.” And then it comes to a dead end, because it does not imply any further development, except perhaps a feeling of guilt. Therefore, one of the most important actions in self-analysis of any problem is to get out from under the pressure of the Parent, begin to reason from the position of the Adult - analytically, predictively, balancedly - and not to offend your inner child: feelings, emotions, unconscious needs (including your personal need for tactile contact). Alas, it is not always easy to do such an analysis on your own: but this is where a consulting psychotherapist can be useful.

As for the question “How to make your partner also love hugs, stroking and other touches” - this is not easy, but theoretically possible. First of all, it is important to be patient, not to rush, and not to push your partner. Move towards each other gradually, focusing not on tactile contact as such, but on creating actual psychological intimacy in itself and at the same time showing respect for the personal boundaries of the partner. In general, there is such a correlation: the more a person’s personal boundaries were violated in childhood, the less he was able to protect them - the more zealously he guards them in adulthood, and the less willingly he lets other people in. And exceptions are usually made for the person who will become close and trusted to him. And the more you, as such a person, respect his personal boundaries, the more trust in you will gradually manifest.

First you need to define what tactile sensitivity is. Tactile sensitivity is a type of sensitivity of the skin, as well as some mucous membranes of the human body - nose, mouth, etc. It arises as a result of interaction nerve plexuses around hair follicles and nerve endings. As a result of irritation of these receptors, the following types of sensations arise: pressure or touch.

Tactile perception combined with motor sensitivity is called touch. Very often, tactile development is used to compensate for defects in deaf-mute or blind people with the help of special vibration vibrations and sensations.

Tactile communication

There are various types tactile communication and touch. Tactile means are non-verbal. Tactile communication implies various human touches, including hugs, kisses, patting, stroking, handshakes. Every person, to one degree or another, vitally needs tactile means of communication. It is important to note that the need for intensity and frequency of touch is different for each person, and it may depend on his gender, social status, character, culture.

There are several types of touches, here are the most common:

1. Ritual. These include handshakes and pats when greeting.
2. Professional. They are worn exclusively impersonally.
3. Friendly.
4. Loving sensual touches. We invite you to look at them in more detail.

I touched you by accident

Did you know that the touch of a loved one can have healing power and energy? With the help of tactile sensations, the mind becomes one with the body, and this helps to prolong health and give you a harmonious state. Touch loving person can do a lot, including a positive effect on your health: lowering blood pressure, normalizing your heartbeat and relaxing your body. Such touches should be gentle, caressing.

Similar tactile sensations should bring pleasure to both partners, then the effect will be amazing. Touches should be smooth and very slow. Pressure and pressing are excluded - everything should be soft and gentle. Partners must concentrate on each other and not be distracted. Focus on what is happening here and now, feel each other and enjoy. Experience the pleasure of touching each other's skin. This way you can relax as much as possible. In addition, we offer you several exercises based on tactile sensations. They will teach you to relax and heal each other.

Tactile contact is the secret weapon we have to create successful and lasting relationships. This is our language, given to us from birth. But over time we forget about its importance. How can we return to natural communication?

Psychologists recommend that in order to remember, tactile contact involves using your imagination and imagining yourself on a bus crowded with people. Passengers, being half asleep, by inertia continue to reproduce their thoughts and emotions with the help of tactile sensations. Couple in love holding hands small child looks for support from his mother - reaches out to her and calms down.

Types of communication

Everyone knows that we can communicate verbally and non-verbally. But not many people know that with the help of movements and expressions one can convey quite complex emotions and desires. We are careful with our touch, but we can receive and transmit signals with it. That is, we have the ability to interpret tactile contact. When we touch another person, our brain displays an objective assessment.

The most accurate and not at all simple way to communicate

The researchers concluded that with the help of the voice, we can identify one or two positive signals - good mood and joy. However, research shows that sensations are a more accurate and subtle way of communicating than the sound of the voice and facial expressions.

In addition, using touch you can increase the speed of communication, that is, touch is the easiest way to signal something. Tactile contact with a man helps girls create more deep feeling communications. Touch is also important in the mother-child relationship, as we begin to receive it even before birth. When a mother touches her baby, she gives him a feeling of security.

The importance of touch

Warm touch promotes release which increases feelings of affection and trust between people. This can explain our habit of touching ourselves: rubbing our hands, stroking our forehead, hair. Tactile contact helps us experience all the same positive sensations that the person we touch experiences. Research has shown that when we hug, we get as much benefit as the person we hug. In addition, by touching a person, we will receive information about his emotional state. Let's find out how he is configured: friendly or hostile. Is he relaxed or tense? Such information will help us choose the right tactics in communication. Therefore, we can say that tactile sensations are the easiest way to strengthen intimacy in a romantic relationship.

Tactile memory is the memory of the sensations we experience while touching an object. Let's say you once petted a snake at the zoo, and now every time you see a snake (on TV, for example), you remember how cold its skin is.

Tactile memory is not associated with the organs of vision, it involves. Otherwise, we can talk about the joint work of visual and tactile memory. If vision is involved in memorization, then, as a rule, we do not remember tactile sensations.

I like “tactile”: feeling the contact of my skin with the surface of soft and pleasant to the touch materials, touching and rubbing against velvety skin your girlfriend, sort through small objects and twirl them in your hands, stroke animals and hug them, listen to the sensations of every point of your body.

There are people with increased sensitivity, the tactility of their skin is maximum, they live in a world of sensations, heightened touch, colorful touches and, as a result, vibrant sex.

Tactile sensations (Latin tactilis tangible)- This is one of the types of touch that responds to touch and pressure.

Little is said about them, forgetting that tactility dominates over other types of pleasant sensations, especially in stimulation sexual arousal person.

Tactile sensitivity is not very well developed from birth, but closer to 8–10 years of age it begins to increase sharply. Often, in order to better feel an object, a child pulls it into his mouth, where there are a large number of tactile receptors on the tongue. Then sensitivity increases slowly, reaching its apogee by the age of 16–20, coinciding with the growth of the body’s sexual appetite, stimulating and exacerbating it.

Pros and cons of tactile sensitivity

Almost everyone has tactile sensitivity, and the degree of reaction to touch and pressure is different for everyone. Some have increased sensitivity, which has many pros and cons.

Extra tactile people often feel discomfort in living conditions, characterizing the sensations as unpleasant. The rigidity of clothing and shoes forces you to carefully choose your wardrobe accordingly and take care of it to maintain softness. Women who have great tactile sensitivity often wear light gloves warm time year. Guided only by considerations discomfort in contact with handrails in transport, door handles, money and other objects. There are practically no men who protect their hands in this way.

Extra tactile people extract from hypersensitivity a lot of benefits. They are better able to distinguish things by touch and appreciate their texture. Although the main advantage of increased sensitivity is getting pleasure from it. Starting from touching and stroking, touching and rubbing various objects and objects to sexual caresses and sex itself.

Biology of tactile receptors and the G-spot

On average per 1 sq. There are about 25 tactile receptors per cm of skin, while there are about 100-200 pain receptors, 12-15 cold receptors and 1-2 thermal ones.

95% of human skin is covered with sensitive hairs, and at their base there are some tactile receptors that respond to changes in the position of the hair by only 5%. So don't forget to pat your children and sexual partners on the head.

There are several types of tactile receptors:

Pacinian corpuscles - briefly transmit information about touch to the brain, after which they turn off.

Free nerve endings with weaker sensitivity, but constant impact. Those. we do not forget that we are sitting on a bench, feeling a gust of wind.

Meissner's corpuscles are branches of nerve fibers, most of which are located in the skin of the fingers and toes. They also form the notorious and mysterious zone G, in search of which people have spent time and lost their heads, no less than in exploring unknown and distant lands. The G-spot is also called the Graffenburg zone (“twelve o’clock area” or “internal trigger”), an area of ​​the lower third of the anterior vaginal wall that is extremely sensitive to erotic caresses. It is a pea-shaped area, and depending on individual characteristics, it is located from 3 to 5 cm from the entrance to the vagina or slightly higher.

Receptor cells in the deep layers of the epidermis of the skin, located in extremely sensitive areas of the skin, such as the lip.

Sexual tactility

Extra tactile people often begin their sexual journey with petting, and get unforgettable sensations from it. Often in sexual games clothing material that causes very pleasant tactile sensations is used, such as silk, satin, chiffon, etc. In some people, increased sensitivity does not affect the entire body, but only certain areas. Many people themselves enjoy oral sex on their partner; it is not for nothing that there are a large number of tactile receptors in the mouth and tongue.

Extra tactile people often enjoy more vivid sexual sensations, how ordinary people. For men, having a partner with increased tactility is simply happiness. Even without outstanding sexual abilities and a huge penis size, a man is able to almost always deliver to a lady unforgettable pleasure. And at the same time be a hero - a lover. For men, increased sensitivity carries many dangers. It is worth remembering the American comedy "American Pie", where main character reached the finish line faster than his partner started.

If increased tactful sensitivity in a man causes problems, then this can be dealt with. In case of increased sensitivity of the head, it is recommended to use artificial lubricants and special condoms, which increase the duration of sexual intercourse. In cases of premature ejaculation (sexual dysfunction), you should often consult a specialist. Sometimes surgical intervention is performed, but most of the problems are psychological in nature and can be treated with psychotherapy (sex therapy).

Two treatment methods are offered:

1. Reception of W. Masters and V. Johnson “compression”.

Woman puts thumb on the frenulum of the penis, and the index and middle fingers to the opposite side. Compression is performed from front to back for 4 s. and so on 5-6 times before the start of the act. During sex, compression is made at the base.

2. James Semans stop-start technique.

Assessing the state of arousal and stopping stimulation until the sensations preceding premature ejaculation fade away.

People often caress themselves: they rub their body parts, tickle their cheek or ear with a lock of hair, rub their toes, and the like. At times, such caresses precede subsequent self-satisfaction. For sexual disorders, doctors recommend caressing yourself to increase sensitivity in order to better understand your body. As they say, do some training before meeting a sexual partner, try to feel the capabilities of your body in a calm atmosphere, fully allowing for masturbation at the same time.

An increase in tactile sensitivity is observed among pickpockets and safecrackers (professional burglars of safes and apartments). Also for people working with small objects requiring increased sensitivity.

Most sensitive body parts: fingertips, tongue, lips, ears, back side palms, and smallest- feet, back, stomach.

Hugs and touches are a good way to convey information about a person at the level of tactile receptors. But in modern world This type of information sharing is often impossible without a charge of harassment.

Even ordinary hugs from friends and loved ones allow you to receive a large share of positivity. “Tactile” more with your loved ones - it allows you to better understand each other, and it’s damn nice!

Material from Wikipedia - the free encyclopedia

Tactile communication is a way of communication and interaction between humans and animals through the sense of touch. Tactile-kinesthetic data comes from sensory receptors, which are found in the skin, joints, muscles, tendons and in the inner ear. feeling provides information about outside world, forms ideas about the position of the body in space. In addition to providing information about surfaces and textures, touch, or the tactile sense, is integral part in, also called non-verbal or non-visual. The sense of touch is extremely important to humans and is essential for expression. physical intimacy. With the help of communication, a person can attract attention, express his attitude towards the interlocutor, establish contact, but it can also cause negative emotions: reducing the psychological distance creates inconvenience for some people.

The meaning of touch can be positive, playful, ritual, intentional and accidental. It can be either sexual (kissing) or distracting (for example, tickling). Touch is the first sense that develops in the embryo. The development of tactile senses in the embryo and their relationship to the development of other senses, such as vision, has become the subject of large quantities research. According to scientists, infants had greater problems with survival if they did not have a developed sense of touch, even if they had the ability to see and hear. It should not be forgotten that people's attitudes towards touch differ from person to person. different countries. Also, the socially acceptable level of touching varies across cultures.

Types of tactile communication

Social/polite touch

The moment of transition from one category of tactile sense to another may be blurred due to cultural characteristics. For example, there are many places in the United States where touching the forearm is considered socially correct and polite. However, in the Midwest this type of communication is not always acceptable. The very first contact with a person in business usually begins with a touch, namely a handshake. The way a person shakes hands can say a lot about them and their personality. Jones reveals the essence of tactile communication as the most intimate and engaging form of communication that helps people maintain good relationships with each other. Jones collaborated with Yarbrough to study the frequency of touching and the touching that occurs between individuals. The frequency of touch can be divided into two different types, namely repetitive and strategic. Repetitive touching is a type of touching where one person touches and another person responds with the same gesture. Most of these touches are considered positive. Strategic touching is a series of touches, usually with an ulterior motive, used to get a person to do what another wants. Typically, repeated touches are personal or single touches. They must be interpreted in the context of what was said and determined by the set of social circumstances at the time the person was touched. is defined as a polite way of maintaining interactions with strangers, without engaging in interpersonal relationships and without having to react to the stranger's touch. Goffman presents an “elevator” study to explain this phenomenon: it is unusual for people to look at, talk to, or touch the person standing next to them. But in the case when the elevator room is so crowded that people “touch” each other, they maintain their indifference so as not to influence those around them.

Friendly/warm touch

In a friendly environment, touching is more common for women than for men. Whitcher and Fisher conducted a study to find out whether the use of psychotherapeutic touch to reduce anxiety differs between the sexes. Nurses were instructed to touch their patients for a minute while the patients studied the brochure during a routine preoperative procedure. Women took it positively, while men did not. It was suggested that men equated touching with being treated as subordinate or dependent. Touch among family members has been shown to influence their behavior. There are many factors at play in family relationships. Often, as a child grows, the amount of parental touch decreases.

Love touch

Violence

Touching in intimate relationships can at times be violent. McEwan and Johnson divided violent touching into two categories: intimate terrorism and couple violence. Intimate terrorism is characterized as a need for control and dominance in relationships, which increases in frequency and escalates over time. Conventional violence among couples, on the other hand, is often the result of petty conflict. Such violence is less common and less severe, and does not gain momentum over time. There are two main differences between intimate terrorism and couple violence. Normal violence in couples occurs sporadically and does not escalate over time. One study conducted by Gaiser in 1990 provided further evidence that, in fact, men are more prone to nonverbal aggression and violence.

Sexy/stimulating

According to Givens (1999 study), the process of nonverbal communication and negotiation involves sending and receiving messages in an attempt to gain someone's approval or affection. Courtship, which can generate love, is defined as nonverbal communication aimed at attracting a sexual partner. During courtship, we exchange nonverbal communication gestures to communicate to each other that we need to get closer. The main signals on the path to intimacy are kissing and caresses.

The courtship period can be divided into 5 stages, which include the attention phase, the getting to know each other phase, the communication phase, the touching phase and the lovemaking phase. Tactile senses appear in the last two phases. Touch phase. The first touch may usually be "accidental" rather than intentional, done by touching a neutral part of the body. During this phase, the recipient either accepts the touch or rejects it with body movement. A hug is a standard way for a person to tell someone that they love them and perhaps need them too. Intent to Touch: A tactile code or hint in nonverbal communication is a hidden intention. Kissing is the final stage of the fourth phase of courtship. The last phase, lovemaking, which involves tactile stimulation known as light or protopathic touch. Any feelings of fear or anxiety can be eased by other touches, such as kissing or massage.

Touch values

A study of touch conducted in 1985 by Johnson and Yarborough identified 18 different meanings of touch, which are grouped into 7 types: having a positive (emotional) impact, play, control, ritual, mixed, with specific purpose and random.

Touch that has a positive impact

These touches convey positive emotions and occur mainly between people who are in close relationships. These touches can be further classified as supportive, approving, affiliative, attracted, or affectionate.

Touches of support: serve to show care, comfort, and protect a person. These touches are usually appropriate in situations where a person is in a state of anxiety.

Touches of approval: used to express gratitude.

Touches of joining: pay attention to the fact that any activity is carried out jointly, imply psychological closeness.

Sexual touching: expresses physical attractiveness or sexual attraction.

Touches of affection: express the general positive attitude person, but more than simple recognition.

"Touches of the Game"

These touches serve to soften communication. "Touches of play" convey a double message, as they always imply a play signal, both verbal and non-verbal, which indicates that the behavior is not to be taken seriously. These touches can also be divided into impactful and aggressive.

Impact: serves to soften communication. The seriousness of a positive message is counteracted by a playful message.

Aggressive impact: Like impact, these touches are used to ease tension in communication, but a playful signal indicates aggression. These touches come only from one side, not from both.

Controlling touches

These touches are needed in order to direct the behavior, attitude or state of the recipient in the right direction. The main feature of these touches is that almost all of them come from the person who is trying to exert influence. These touches can also be classified as compliant, attention-getting, or responsive.

Compliant: attempts to direct another person's behavior, usually by influencing the other person's attitudes or feelings.

Attractive: needed to redirect the focus of the recipient’s perception to something.

Causing a reaction: Used to attract attention to indirectly solicit a response from another.

Ritual touch

This group includes touching when greeting and goodbye. They help make the transition to and from focused communication.

Accidental touches

These touches are perceived as unintentional and do not carry any meaning. They mostly consist of light touches.

Culture and touch

High culture is common in eastern countries. Middle Eastern, Asian, African and South American cultures are examples of high culture. Traditions play a significant role, take root and hardly change over time. Representatives of this type cultures know exactly when to use tactile communication, based on a strict non-verbal law that is universally used. According to research results, in some types of culture touching is quite common (contact culture), while in others it may be absent (distant culture). Low-contact cultures include North Americans, Asians and Northern Europe. Representatives of these cultures are at a certain distance from each other when communicating, and Asians use a greater distance than North Americans and Northern Europeans. Contact cultures include Latin American and Southern European cultures.

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Notes

Links

• Carney, R., Hall A, and LeBeau L. (2005). Beliefs about the nonverbal expression of social power. Journal of Nonverbal Behavior, 29(2),118.
• Phyllis Davis: The Power of Touch - The Basis for Survival, Health, Intimacy, and Emotional Well-Being
• DeVito J., Guerrero, L. and Hecht, M. (1999). The nonverbal communication reader: classic and contemporary readings. (2nd ed). Illinois: Waveland Press.
• Geiser, J.L. "An Explanation of the Relationship of Nonverbal Aggression with Verbal Aggression, Nonverbal Immediacy Assertiveness, and Responsiveness." eidr.wvu.edu/files/947/geiser_j_etd.pdf.
• Givens, David B. (2005). Love Signals: A Practical Field Guide to the Body Language of Courtship, St. Martin's Press, New York.
• Guerrero, L. (2004), Chicago Sun-Times, “Women like man’s touch, but there’s a catch. They prefer to see it on another man, research shows,” 11-12.
• Hall, E. T. The Silent Language (1959). New York: Anchor Books, 1990
• Harper, J. (2006), The Washington Times, “Men hold the key to their wives’ calm”, A10.
• Harper, R. G., Wiens, A. N. and Matarazzo J. D. Nonverbal communication: The State of the Art. Wiley Series on Personality Processes (1978). New York: John Wiley & Sons, Inc.
• Hayward V, Astley OR, Cruz-Hernandez M, Grant D, Robles-De-La-Torre G. Haptic interfaces and devices. Sensor Review 24(1), pp. 16–29 (2004).
• Holden, R. (1993). How to utilize the power of laughter, humor and a winning smile at work. Employee Counseling Today, 5, 17-21.
• Jandt, F. E. Intercultural Communication (1995). Thousand Oaks: Sage Publications, Inc.
• Ashley Montagu: Touching: The Human Significance of the Skin, Harper Paperbacks, 1986
• Robles-De-La-Torre G. & Hayward V. Force Can Overcome Object Geometry In the perception of Shape Through Active Touch. Nature 412 (6845):445-8 (2001).
• Robles-De-La-Torre G. The Importance of the Sense of Touch in Virtual and Real Environments. IEEE Multimedia 13(3), Special issue on Haptic User Interfaces for Multimedia Systems, pp. 24–30 (2006).
• Van Swol, L. (2003). The effects of nonverbal mirroring on perceived persuasiveness, agreement with an imitator, and reciprocity in a group discussion. Communication Research, 30(4), 20.

An excerpt characterizing tactile communication

De boire, de batre,
Et d'etre un vert galant...
[Having triple talent,
drink, fight
and be kind...]
– But it’s also complicated. Well, well, Zaletaev!..
“Kyu...” Zaletaev said with effort. “Kyu yu yu...” he drawled, carefully protruding his lips, “letriptala, de bu de ba and detravagala,” he sang.
- Hey, it’s important! That's it, guardian! oh... go go go! - Well, do you want to eat more?
- Give him some porridge; After all, it won’t be long before he gets enough of hunger.
Again they gave him porridge; and Morel, chuckling, began to work on the third pot. Joyful smiles were on all the faces of the young soldiers looking at Morel. The old soldiers, who considered it indecent to engage in such trifles, lay on the other side of the fire, but occasionally, raising themselves on their elbows, they looked at Morel with a smile.
“People too,” said one of them, dodging into his overcoat. - And wormwood grows on its root.
- Ooh! Lord, Lord! How stellar, passion! Towards the frost... - And everything fell silent.
The stars, as if knowing that now no one would see them, played out in the black sky. Now flaring up, now extinguishing, now shuddering, they busily whispered to each other about something joyful, but mysterious.

X
The French troops gradually melted away in a mathematically correct progression. And that crossing of the Berezina, about which so much has been written, was only one of the intermediate stages in the destruction of the French army, and not at all a decisive episode of the campaign. If so much has been and is being written about the Berezina, then on the part of the French this happened only because on the broken Berezina Bridge, the disasters that the French army had previously suffered evenly here suddenly grouped together at one moment and into one tragic spectacle that remained in everyone’s memory. On the Russian side, they talked and wrote so much about the Berezina only because, far from the theater of war, in St. Petersburg, a plan was drawn up (by Pfuel) to capture Napoleon in a strategic trap on the Berezina River. Everyone was convinced that everything would actually happen exactly as planned, and therefore insisted that it was the Berezina crossing that destroyed the French. In essence, the results of the Berezinsky crossing were much less disastrous for the French in terms of the loss of guns and prisoners than Krasnoye, as the figures show.
The only significance of the Berezin crossing is that this crossing obviously and undoubtedly proved the falsity of all plans for cutting off and the justice of the only possible course of action demanded by both Kutuzov and all the troops (mass) - only following the enemy. The crowd of Frenchmen fled with an ever-increasing force of speed, with all their energy directed towards achieving their goal. She ran like a wounded animal, and she could not get in the way. This was proven not so much by the construction of the crossing as by the traffic on the bridges. When the bridges were broken, unarmed soldiers, Moscow residents, women and children who were in the French convoy - all, under the influence of the force of inertia, did not give up, but ran forward into the boats, into the frozen water.
This aspiration was reasonable. The situation of both those fleeing and those pursuing was equally bad. Remaining with his own, each in distress hoped for the help of a comrade, for a certain place he occupied among his own. Having given himself over to the Russians, he was in the same position of distress, but he became at a lower level in the section of satisfying the needs of life. The French did not need to have correct information that half of the prisoners, with whom they did not know what to do, despite all the Russians’ desire to save them, died from cold and hunger; they felt that it could not be otherwise. The most compassionate Russian commanders and hunters of the French, the French in Russian service could not do anything for the prisoners. The French were destroyed by the disaster in which the Russian army was located. It was impossible to take away bread and clothing from hungry, necessary soldiers in order to give it to the French who were not harmful, not hated, not guilty, but simply unnecessary. Some did; but this was only an exception.
Behind was certain death; there was hope ahead. The ships were burned; there was no other salvation except for a collective flight, and all the forces of the French were directed towards this collective flight.
The further the French fled, the more pitiful their remnants were, especially after the Berezina, on which, as a result of the St. Petersburg plan, special hopes were pinned, the more the passions of the Russian commanders flared up, blaming each other and especially Kutuzov. Believing that the failure of the Berezinsky Petersburg plan would be attributed to him, dissatisfaction with him, contempt for him and ridicule of him were expressed more and more strongly. Teasing and contempt, of course, were expressed in a respectful form, in a form in which Kutuzov could not even ask what and for what he was accused. They didn't talk to him seriously; reporting to him and asking his permission, they pretended to perform a sad ritual, and behind his back they winked and tried to deceive him at every step.
All these people, precisely because they could not understand him, recognized that there was no point in talking to the old man; that he would never understand the full depth of their plans; that he would answer with his phrases (it seemed to them that these were just phrases) about the golden bridge, that you cannot come abroad with a crowd of vagabonds, etc. They had already heard all this from him. And everything he said: for example, that we had to wait for food, that people were without boots, it was all so simple, and everything they offered was so complex and clever that it was obvious to them that he was stupid and old, but they were not powerful, brilliant commanders.
Especially after the joining of the armies of the brilliant admiral and the hero of St. Petersburg, Wittgenstein, this mood and staff gossip reached its highest limits. Kutuzov saw this and, sighing, just shrugged his shoulders. Only once, after the Berezina, he became angry and wrote the following letter to Bennigsen, who reported separately to the sovereign:
“Due to your painful attacks, please, Your Excellency, upon receipt of this, go to Kaluga, where you await further orders and assignments from His Imperial Majesty.”
But after Bennigsen was sent away, Grand Duke Konstantin Pavlovich came to the army, who made the beginning of the campaign and was removed from the army by Kutuzov. Now the Grand Duke, having arrived at the army, informed Kutuzov about the displeasure of the sovereign emperor for the weak successes of our troops and for the slowness of movement. The Emperor himself intended to arrive at the army the other day.
An old man, as experienced in court affairs as in military affairs, that Kutuzov, who in August of the same year was chosen commander-in-chief against the will of the sovereign, the one who removed the heir and the Grand Duke from the army, the one who, with his power, in opposition the will of the sovereign, ordered the abandonment of Moscow, this Kutuzov now immediately realized that his time was over, that his role had been played and that he no longer had this imaginary power. And he understood this not just from court relationships. On the one hand, he saw that military affairs, the one in which he played his role, was over, and he felt that his calling had been fulfilled. On the other hand, at the same time he began to feel physical fatigue in his old body and the need for physical rest.
On November 29, Kutuzov entered Vilna - his good Vilna, as he said. Kutuzov was governor of Vilna twice during his service. In the rich, surviving Vilna, in addition to the comforts of life that he had been deprived of for so long, Kutuzov found old friends and memories. And he, suddenly turning away from all military and state concerns, plunged into a smooth, familiar life as much as he was given peace by the passions seething around him, as if everything that was happening now and was about to happen in the historical world did not concern him at all.
Chichagov, one of the most passionate cutters and overturners, Chichagov, who wanted to first make a diversion to Greece, and then to Warsaw, but did not want to go where he was ordered, Chichagov, known for his courage in speaking with the sovereign, Chichagov, who considered Kutuzov benefited himself, because when he was sent in the 11th year to conclude peace with Turkey in addition to Kutuzov, he, making sure that peace had already been concluded, admitted to the sovereign that the merit of concluding peace belonged to Kutuzov; This Chichagov was the first to meet Kutuzov in Vilna at the castle where Kutuzov was supposed to stay. Chichagov in a naval uniform, with a dagger, holding his cap under his arm, gave Kutuzov his drill report and the keys to the city. That's contemptuous respectful attitude youth to the old man who had lost his mind was expressed to the highest degree in the entire appeal of Chichagov, who already knew the charges leveled against Kutuzov.
While talking with Chichagov, Kutuzov, among other things, told him that the carriages with dishes captured from him in Borisov were intact and would be returned to him.
- C"est pour me dire que je n"ai pas sur quoi manger... Je puis au contraire vous fournir de tout dans le cas meme ou vous voudriez donner des diners, [You want to tell me that I have nothing to eat. On the contrary, I can serve you all, even if you wanted to give dinners.] - Chichagov said, flushing, with every word he wanted to prove that he was right and therefore assumed that Kutuzov was preoccupied with this very thing. Kutuzov smiled his thin, penetrating smile and, shrugging his shoulders, answered: “Ce n"est que pour vous dire ce que je vous dis. [I want to say only what I say.]
In Vilna, Kutuzov, contrary to the will of the sovereign, stopped most of the troops. Kutuzov, as his close associates said, had become unusually depressed and physically weakened during his stay in Vilna. He was reluctant to deal with the affairs of the army, leaving everything to his generals and, while waiting for the sovereign, indulged in an absent-minded life.
Having left St. Petersburg with his retinue - Count Tolstoy, Prince Volkonsky, Arakcheev and others, on December 7, the sovereign arrived in Vilna on December 11 and drove straight up to the castle in a road sleigh. At the castle, despite the severe frost, stood about a hundred generals and staff officers in full dress uniform and the honor guard of the Semenovsky regiment.
The courier, who galloped up to the castle in a sweaty troika, ahead of the sovereign, shouted: “He’s coming!” Konovnitsyn rushed into the hallway to report to Kutuzov, who was waiting in a small Swiss room.
Thick in a minute big figure An old man, in full dress uniform, with all the regalia covering his chest, and his belly pulled up by a scarf, pumping, walked out onto the porch. Kutuzov put his hat on the front, picked up his gloves and sideways, stepping down the steps with difficulty, stepped down and took in his hand the report prepared for submission to the sovereign.
Running, whispering, the troika still desperately flying by, and all eyes turned to the jumping sleigh, in which the figures of the sovereign and Volkonsky were already visible.
All this, out of a fifty-year habit, had a physically disturbing effect on the old general; He hurriedly felt himself with concern, straightened his hat, and at that moment the sovereign, emerging from the sleigh, raised his eyes to him, cheered up and stretched out, submitted a report and began to speak in his measured, ingratiating voice.
The Emperor glanced quickly at Kutuzov from head to toe, frowned for a moment, but immediately, overcoming himself, walked up and, spreading his arms, hugged the old general. Again, according to the old, familiar impression and in relation to his sincere thoughts, this hug, as usual, had an effect on Kutuzov: he sobbed.
The Emperor greeted the officers and the Semenovsky guard and, shaking the old man’s hand again, went with him to the castle.
Left alone with the field marshal, the sovereign expressed his displeasure to him for the slowness of the pursuit, for the mistakes in Krasnoye and on the Berezina, and conveyed his thoughts about the future campaign abroad. Kutuzov made no objections or comments. The same submissive and meaningless expression with which, seven years ago, he listened to the orders of the sovereign on the Field of Austerlitz, was now established on his face.
When Kutuzov left the office and with his heavy, diving gait, head down, walked across the hall, someone’s voice stopped him.
“Your Grace,” someone said.
Kutuzov raised his head and looked for a long time into the eyes of Count Tolstoy, who stood in front of him with some small thing on a silver platter. Kutuzov did not seem to understand what they wanted from him.
Suddenly he seemed to remember: a barely noticeable smile flashed on his plump face, and he, bending low, respectfully, took the object lying on the platter. This was George 1st degree.

The next day the field marshal had a dinner and a ball, which the sovereign honored with his presence. Kutuzov was awarded George 1st degree; the sovereign showed him the highest honors; but the sovereign’s displeasure against the field marshal was known to everyone. Decency was observed, and the sovereign showed the first example of this; but everyone knew that the old man was guilty and no good. When, at the ball, Kutuzov, according to Catherine’s old habit, upon the Emperor’s entrance into the ballroom, ordered the taken banners to be laid down at his feet, the Emperor frowned unpleasantly and uttered words in which some heard: “old comedian.”
The sovereign's displeasure against Kutuzov intensified in Vilna, especially because Kutuzov obviously did not want or could not understand the significance of the upcoming campaign.
When the next morning the sovereign said to the officers gathered at his place: “You saved more than just Russia; you saved Europe,” everyone already understood that the war was not over.
Only Kutuzov did not want to understand this and openly expressed his opinion that new war cannot improve the situation and increase the glory of Russia, but can only worsen its position and reduce that highest degree glory, on which, in his opinion, Russia now stood. He tried to prove to the sovereign the impossibility of recruiting new troops; spoke about the difficult situation of the population, the possibility of failure, etc.
In such a mood, the field marshal, naturally, seemed to be only a hindrance and a brake on the upcoming war.
To avoid clashes with the old man, a way out was found by itself, which consisted in, as at Austerlitz and as at the beginning of the campaign under Barclay, to remove from under the commander-in-chief, without disturbing him, without announcing to him that the ground of power on which he stood , and transfer it to the sovereign himself.
For this purpose, the headquarters was gradually reorganized, and all the significant strength of Kutuzov’s headquarters was destroyed and transferred to the sovereign. Tol, Konovnitsyn, Ermolov - received other appointments. Everyone said loudly that the field marshal had become very weak and was upset about his health.