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Age characteristics of younger adolescents

The main neoplasms of early adolescence / according to D.B. Elkonin / The need for active, independent, creative cognition. The emergence of various extracurricular hobbies. Communication with comrades becomes a “special form of life.” "Feeling of adulthood." Awareness and validity of self-esteem. The desire to experiment. Tendency to fantasize, to uncritically plan one's future. Gender-role identification as a consequence of age-related changes. Personal instability.

The desire to be successful in educational activities (Intellectual Consistency). The desire to build and maintain acceptable relationships with teachers and classmates (Communicative Consistency). The desire to contribute to the life of the class, and perhaps the school (Consistency in Activities).

Signs of anxiety in a schoolchild 1. Cannot work for a long time without getting tired. 2. It is difficult for him to concentrate. 3. Any task causes unnecessary anxiety. 4. While performing tasks, he is overly tense and constrained. 5. Feels embarrassed more often than others. 6. Often talks about possible troubles. 7.As a rule, blushes in unfamiliar surroundings. 8.Complains of having terrible dreams. 9.Hands are usually cold and damp. 10. Stool upset is common. 11.Sweats a lot when excited. 12.Does not have a good appetite. 13. Sleeps restlessly and has difficulty falling asleep. 14. Shy, many things cause fear. 15. Usually restless and easily upset. 16.Often cannot hold back tears. 17. Doesn't tolerate waiting well. 18. Does not like to take on new things. 19.I am not confident in myself, in my abilities. 20.Afraid to face difficulties. Interpretation: if 15 or more signs are noted, the level of anxiety is high. 7 – 14 signs - average level. Less than 7 signs – the level of anxiety is low.

Signs of maladjustment in a schoolchild 1. Tired, tired appearance of the child. 2. Reluctance to share your impressions of the day. 3. The desire to distract an adult from school events, to switch attention to other topics. 4. Reluctance to do homework. 5. Negative characteristics about the school, teachers, classmates. 6. Complaints about certain events related to the school. 7. Restless sleep. 8.Difficulty waking up in the morning, lethargy. 9. Constant complaints about feeling unwell. 10. Inappropriate behavioral reactions to the teacher’s comments, rudeness. 11. Violations in relationships with peers. 12. Decline in academic performance, loss of interest in studying.

Tips for teachers on working with anxious children 1. Praise the child even for minor success. 2. Ask your child in the middle of the lesson. 3.Avoid speed tasks. 4. do not compare your child with others. but only with his own achievements. 5. Make demands that are adequate to the child’s capabilities. 6.Use visual aids in your lessons. 7.Reduce the number of comments. 8. Be honest with your child and accept him for who he is. 9.Help improve your child’s self-esteem. 10. Address your child by name more often. 11. Demonstrate examples of confident behavior, be an example for the child. 12. When punishing, do not humiliate the child. 13. Try not to shame your child, especially in the presence of classmates. 14.If possible, explain new material using familiar examples. 15. Avoid long notations. 16. Try to balance your basic requirements with the requirements of other subject teachers. 17. Discuss with your children in advance how the exam and test will be held. 18.If possible, choose a method of testing knowledge that is suitable for the child (written answer, answer from the spot, report prepared at home, etc.). 19. Pay attention to your teaching style.

Methodological and organizational conditions conducive to the successful adaptation of fifth-graders Creating an atmosphere of goodwill, sincerity, and trust. Creating situations that allow students to take initiative, have the right to make mistakes and have their own opinions. Giving the student the right to work in class at his own pace and receive assignments in accordance with his level of learning. Using various forms of training, such as: excursions, games (didactic and role-playing), disputes (discussions), discussions, practical work, mini-lectures. Development of written speech (ability to express one’s opinion). Evaluate more than just the result. but also the process of student activity. Provide students with the opportunity to freely choose sources of information. teach the ability to work with them. Develop reflective skills - the ability to look at yourself from the outside. Create an emotional atmosphere in the classroom that is close to elementary school (confidence, sincerity, gentleness, optimism, the opportunity to consult, complain, talk frankly).

Target:to acquaint parents with the characteristics of adolescence, to outline ways of possible solutions to problems and conflicts during this period of development.

Form of conduct - lecture.

Here they are, these main truths:

Late noticed, late taken into account...

No, children are not born difficult

They just didn't get help in time.

Adolescence is an important and difficult stage in a person’s life, a time of elections that largely determines the rest of one’s life. It can be compared to Ivan Tsarevich stopping at a fork in the road near a stone on which it is written: “You will go left..., you will go right...”. In ancient times, this stage was considered the same qualitative change in state as birth, marriage, and death. What are the main changes that a modern teenager feels in himself? Slide 1.

Adolescence is marked by rapid development and restructuring of the child’s social activity. Powerful changes occur in all areas of a child’s life; it is no coincidence that this age is called “transitional” from childhood to adulthood.

Adolescence is considered as a stage of personality development, a process of transition from dependent, supervised childhood, when a child lives according to special rules established for him by adults to an independent life. Slide 2.

At this time, stable forms of behavior, character traits and methods of emotional response take shape, which in the future largely determine the life of an adult, his physical and mental health. That is why the role of the family environment is so great in providing conditions that do not hinder, but, on the contrary, promote the healthy development of the adolescent’s personality. Slide 3.

Observations of children in various situations reveal the dependence of the manifestations of the type of temperament on the motives and needs that motivate them to activity: when performing meaningful, interesting work, a child can be very active and becomes slow when involved in uninteresting activities. There are the following types of accentuations: cycloid, hyperactive, astheno-neurotic, sensitive, psychoasthenic, demonstrative, unstable, conformal. Slide 4.

At the age of 13-14 years, the system of values ​​and interests changes. What was valuable is devalued, new idols appear, the nature of relationships with adults and parents is often of a protest nature. At this age, teenagers are drawn to everything unusual and often get carried away by informal trends. The modern teenager has a pronounced desire for individualization, to assert his “I”. Slide 5.

Outwardly, the age crisis manifests itself in rudeness, secrecy, deliberate behavior, the desire to act contrary to the demands and wishes of adults; in ignoring comments, withdrawing from the usual sphere of communication. The difficulty is that a teenager does not know how to analyze the reasons for what is happening to him. Slide 6.

A teenager often has an unreasonable feeling of anxiety, self-esteem fluctuates, at this time he is very vulnerable, conflicted, and can become depressed. He must be in his eyes very smart, very handsome, very brave, very capable, etc. Slide 7.

At the same time, restructuring a teenager’s attitude towards himself affects not only his emotional state, but also the development of his creative abilities and satisfaction with life in general. Studying takes a back seat at this time.

Slide 8.

Rapid, uneven growth begins, as a result of which the teenager becomes disproportionate and clumsy. The child’s body undergoes profound restructuring, and at a very fast pace. Rapid physical development is accompanied by a number of contradictory aspects. Often there is a rejection of their body and appearance, then they exhaust themselves with diets, exercise, simply suffer and withdraw into themselves. Such phenomena should not cause much concern for parents, but it is necessary to know them and take them into account when organizing the life of a teenager. Slide 10.

Since a teenager strives for extreme positions in assessment, he tends to overestimate or underestimate his qualities and properties. Teenagers are critical of the negative traits of their character, worrying about those traits that interfere with their friendships and relationships with other people. Slide 11.

A teenager's self-esteem is unstable: he is inclined to consider himself either a genius or a nonentity. Any little thing can radically change a teenager’s attitude towards himself. If he is forced to admit that something is wrong, his opinion of himself drops on all counts, however, such contradictory self-esteem is necessary in order for him to develop new, adult criteria for personal development. Slide 12.

The self-esteem of adolescents is contradictory and insufficiently holistic, so many unmotivated actions may arise in their behavior. Teenagers suffer more than other age groups from the instability of the social, economic and moral situation in the country, having lost the necessary orientation in values ​​and ideals today - the old ones have been destroyed, new ones have not yet been created.

Slide 13.

Features are manifested in a disdainful attitude towards learning, poor academic performance, bravado, failure to fulfill responsibilities: avoiding performing any duties and errands around the house, preparing homework, or even attending classes. Adults sometimes do not notice or do not understand such uneven behavior; they are equally discouraged by exorbitant excitement and inexplicable fatigue. Slide 14.

Such teenagers find themselves faced with a large amount of “extra time,” but they are characterized by an inability to spend their leisure time meaningfully. The majority have no hobbies, they do not participate in sections and clubs, and do not attend exhibitions and theaters. Unfortunately, in their free time, antisocial behavior of adolescents is predominantly manifested (prostitution, drug addiction, substance abuse, etc.) Slide 15.

Wasting time without meaning pushes teenagers to search for new “thrills.” Alcoholism and drug addiction are closely interwoven into the structure of the deviant lifestyle of adolescents. Very often, teenagers celebrate their “merits”: successful adventures, hooligan acts, fights, petty thefts by drinking alcohol. It turns out that one of the available types of entertainment for teenagers is fighting. Thus, almost a third (29%) of teenagers admit that they fight because there is nothing to do, nowhere to put their energy, and life is boring. Slide 16.

Subsequently, when explaining their actions, teenagers have a misconception about morality, justice, courage and bravery. The least number of teenagers (15%) are studying history, mathematics and art, and amateur film and photography. Slide 17.

Throughout adolescence, there is a clearly defined dynamics of aggressiveness. Forms of aggressive behavior are typical for most adolescents. 27% of teenagers do not deny their participation in the beating of dissidents, that is, those who have other interests. Slide 18.

One of the elements of the microenvironment in the relationships that shape personality is the family. At the same time, what is decisive is not its composition - complete, incomplete, disintegrated, but the moral atmosphere, the relationships that develop between adult family members, between adults and children. In joint activities, not only parents discover the character of their son or daughter, but also children get to know their parents better. A teenager needs joint activities with adults. Slide 19.

Unfortunately, in our time, the number of dysfunctional families in which there is complete neglect, lack of control of behavior on the part of parents, indifference to the fate of the teenager, is growing, which is where children with behavioral problems appear. Slide 20.

But even in seemingly prosperous families, many problems of a psychological nature can be identified that lead to a crisis of adolescence. Only 15% of parents wrote that they know everything about their child. Only 6% of parents encourage their children to study in circles, sections, clubs, 3% introduce their children, in their opinion, to interesting guys.

Slide 21.

There are 4 dysfunctional situations in the family:
Overprotection various degrees: from the desire to be an accomplice in all manifestations of the inner life of children to family tyranny.
Hypocustody often turning into neglect.
A situation that creates a “family idol”- constant attention to any motive of the child and excessive praise for very modest successes.
A situation that creates “Cinderellas” in the family. There are many families where parents pay a lot of attention to themselves and little to their children. Slide 22.

Ways to solve the problem.

Forming a teenager’s range of interests based on his character traits and abilities. Maximum reduction of the period of his free time - “time of idle existence and idleness.” Involving a teenager in activities that lie in the sphere of interests of adults, but at the same time creates opportunities for him to realize and establish himself at the adult level. Slide 23.

Reducing the manifestation of aggression by attending sports schools, daily gymnastics at home using dumbbells, iron weights and boxing gloves (let teenagers beat each other in a peaceful fight, giving an outlet to the accumulated energy, so that aggression does not accumulate like static electricity, which tends to explode in painful discharges). Physical education can become a common and joyful activity for every family member. Slide 24.

Do not make excessive demands on the teenager that are not confirmed by his abilities. Honestly point out his successes and failures (attribute successes to his abilities, and failures to insufficient preparation). Do not praise a teenager, explaining his failures as an accident, because this creates the effect of inadequacy in the teenager. Passion for art, joint visits to cinema and theater, discussion of literary novelties, assistance in construction - this is not a complete list of those areas in which an adult can be together with a teenager. Slide 25.

Always be sensitive to the affairs of your children.
Analyze with your children the reasons for their successes and failures.
Support your child when things are difficult for him.
Try not to protect your teenager from difficulties.
Teach you to overcome difficulties.
Constantly monitor the child, but without overprotection.
Encourage even the barely emerging needs for knowledge, harmony and beauty, and self-actualization.
Tell your child about your problems, about what worried you when you were their age.
Buy your child books on psychology and self-knowledge. Always lead by example (teach with actions, not words).

Slide 26.

Talk to children as equals, respecting their opinions, avoiding moralizing, shouting, edification, and even more so irony.
Advise you to take care of your appearance.
Do not under any circumstances prohibit relationships with the opposite sex, do not stop conversations about the relationship between boys and girls.
Get to know your child's friends, ask them to inform you about ways to spend time, but don't turn into a spy.
Remember: mistrust is offensive!
Keep track of what books your child reads and what films he watches.
Always be for your child, first of all, an older, wise friend and only then a loving mother (father)! Slide 27.

Questionnaire “Are you a good parent? ?»

The questions in this test must be answered “yes”, “no”, “I don’t know”. So:
1. You often react to some of your child’s actions with an “explosion” and then regret it.
2. Sometimes you take help or advice from friends when you don't know how to respond to your child's behavior.
3. Your intuition and experience are the best advisers in raising a child.
4. Sometimes you happen to trust your child with a secret that you would not tell anyone else.
5. You are offended by other people's negative opinions about your child.
6. You happen to ask your child for forgiveness for your behavior.
7. You think that a child should not have secrets from his parents.
8. You notice differences between your character and the character of your child that sometimes surprise you. Slide 28.

9. You worry too much about your child’s troubles or failures.
10. You can resist buying something that interests your child (even if you have money) because you know that the house is full of them.
11. You think that up to a certain age, the best educational argument for a child is physical punishment (belt).
12. Your child is exactly what you dreamed of.
13. Your child gives you more trouble than joy.
14. Sometimes you feel like your child is teaching you new thoughts and behaviors.
15. You have conflicts with your own child. Slide 29.

Calculation of results.

For each answer “yes” to questions: 2,4,6,8,10,12,14, as well as “no” to questions: 1,3,5,7,9,11,13,15, you get 10 points . For every “I don’t know” you get 5 points. Count up your points.

100-150 points. You have great opportunities to understand your own child correctly. Your views and judgments are your allies in solving various educational problems. If this is accompanied by such open and tolerant behavior in practice, you can be recognized as an example worthy of emulation. For the ideal you need one small step. This could be your child's opinion. Slide 30.

50-99 points. You are on the right road to better understanding your own child. You can resolve your temporary difficulties or problems with your child by starting with yourself. And don’t try to make excuses about lack of time or your child’s nature. There are several issues that you have influence over, so try to use it. And don’t forget that understanding does not always mean accepting. Not only the child, but also your own personality too.

0-49 points. It seems that one can only sympathize more with your child than with you, since he did not end up with a parent - a good friend and guide on the difficult road of gaining life experience. But all is not lost. If you really want to do something for your child, try something different. Maybe you can find someone who can help you with this. It will not be easy, but in the future it will return with gratitude and the established life of your child. Slide 31.

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Our children are teenagers

Associations to the word teenager, adolescence Adolescence: What, in your opinion, is characterized by adolescence? What changes occur in children? What problems arise when communicating with children? Do they occur at all? - - - - Teenager: - - - -

Associations of children with the word teenager, adolescence A teenager is a person who has no goal, who would rather have fun without thinking about the future; a person who is at the stage of adolescence from 14 to 18 years; a person who is transitioning from a younger age to adulthood; a person who understands all the difficulties of life; this is a child who considers himself an adult, although in fact he is not; a fairly old boy or girl from 13 to 16 years old; a person who can express his opinion, understand others, and keep secrets; a person who has his own opinion on life; a person whose opinion often does not coincide with the opinion of his parents.

* physiological; * psychological; * social.

Puberty Decreased performance Inattention, absent-mindedness Decreased interest in learning Increased sensitivity, temper

Puberty depends on endocrine changes in the body Intense physical and physiological development, height and weight increase Changes in height and weight are accompanied by changes in body proportions, children often feel clumsy and awkward at this time Secondary sexual characteristics appear - external signs of puberty Difficulties arise in the functioning of the heart, lungs, blood supply to the brain, adolescents are characterized by changes in vascular and muscle tone, which cause rapid changes in physical condition and, accordingly, mood. During adolescence, the emotional background becomes uneven and unstable.

The child is forced to constantly adapt to the physical and physiological changes occurring in his body, to experience a “hormonal storm”. Teenagers seem to be under stress all the time.

A new image of the physical “I” Interest in one’s appearance sharply increases: The child is acutely aware of all the flaws in appearance, real and imaginary. Disproportion of body parts, clumsiness of movements, irregularity of facial features, skin losing its childlike purity, excess weight or thinness - everything upsets, and sometimes leads to feelings of inferiority, isolation, even neurosis. Severe emotional reactions to one’s appearance are softened by warm, trusting relationships with close adults, who must show both understanding and tact.

Changes in appearance: pleasing – **% indifferent – ​​**% irritating and angry – **%

Development of self-awareness During adolescence, two special forms of self-awareness consistently appear: a sense of adulthood and “I-concept”

Feeling of adulthood - a teenager’s attitude towards himself as an adult and awareness of himself to some extent as an adult

How does a teenager feel a sense of adulthood? In the desire for everyone - both adults and peers - to treat him not as a child, but as an adult In the desire for independence, the desire to protect some aspects of his life from parental interference Claims equality in relations with adults and goes into conflicts, defending your “adult” position Issues of appearance, relationships with peers, sometimes studies

Their own tastes, views, assessments, and their own line of behavior appear. A moral “code” appears, prescribing for adolescents a clear style of behavior in friendly relations with peers: mutual support, help in case of need, confidence in a friend and trust in him, protecting a friend in his absence, acceptance of a friend’s successes, emotional comfort in communication. Since the teenager is in many ways inconsistent and contradictory, he often deviates from this set of rules, but expects his friends to strictly observe them. Everything is unstable, views can change in a week “One for all and all for one”

Responsibility for actions taken: thought about the consequences - **% decline responsibility - **% sometimes bear responsibility - **% Assessing one's own behavior: had to evaluate - **% sometimes think about it - **% prefer not to think about it - * *%

Inner world Difficult experiences associated with new relationships, his personal traits and actions are analyzed by him biasedly The teenager wants to understand what he really is like and imagines what he would like to be Personal reflection, the need to understand himself also give rise to confession in communication with peers, and diaries that begin to be kept precisely during this period, poems and fantasies. Self-esteem in adolescence turns out to be low in its general level and unstable. The child’s “I-concept” is formed. At about 12-13 years of age, an interest in one’s inner world arises, and then there is a gradual complication and deepening of self-knowledge

An image of the “real self” and the “ideal self” is formed - Ideas about one’s own external attractiveness - Ideas about one’s mind - Ideas about one’s abilities in different areas - Ideas about strength of character, sociability, kindness and other qualities cognitive component Knowing oneself Knowing one’s various qualities Evaluative and behavioral component It is important to know how significant his individual characteristics are. The assessment of one’s qualities depends on the value system that has developed mainly due to the influence of family and peers. A teenager is not yet an integral mature person. Instability and mobility of the entire mental life at the beginning and middle of adolescence leads to variability in ideas about oneself. Real “I”

Ideal “I” The ideal “I” can be very different from the real one With a high level of aspirations With insufficient awareness of one’s capabilities The gap between the ideal image and one’s actual position leads to self-doubt, which can outwardly be expressed in touchiness, stubbornness, aggressiveness When the ideal image is presented achievable, it encourages self-education Adolescents not only dream about what they will be like, but also strive to develop desirable qualities in themselves The adolescent develops self-regulation

Your image through the eyes of others: sociable – **% Kind – **% Evil – **% open – **% Cheerful – **% sincere – **% Strong – **% Lazy – **% harmful – **% Traitor – **% self-confident – ​​**% Passionate – **% Funny (cool) – **%

Communication with peers Communication permeates the entire life of adolescents, leaving an imprint on learning, non-academic activities, and relationships with parents The leading activity during this period is intimate and personal communication Teenage friendship is a complex, often contradictory phenomenon “Happiness is when you are understood » Close friends - peers of the same sex, study in the same class, belong to the same environment Informal groups Mutual sympathy Common interests, activities Methods of entertainment, place to spend free time

Communication with adults The influence of parents is already limited The value orientations of a teenager, his understanding of social problems, moral assessments of events and actions depend primarily on the position of the parents Adolescents are characterized by a desire for emancipation (liberation from any dependence, the abolition of any restrictions, the equation in rights) from close adults: needing their parents, their love and care, their opinion, they feel a strong desire to be independent, equal in rights. How the relationship will develop during this difficult period for both parties depends mainly on the style of upbringing that has developed in the family, and the ability of the parents to rebuild - to accept the sense of adulthood of their child.

Leisure and free time: spending time with friends on the street - **% participating in parties and discos - **% participating in sports clubs - **% Help in overcoming difficulties: turning to parents - **% turning to friends - * *%

Behavioral characteristics of adolescents: Adolescence: - They strive to be adults, but avoid responsibility - They choose idols for themselves - A competitive motive appears - Sensitivity to outsiders' assessment of their appearance - Purposefulness, persistence and impulsiveness, Instability can be replaced by apathy, lack of aspirations and desires to do anything , Increased self-confidence, categorical judgment quickly changes into vulnerability and self-doubt; extreme arrogance and categorical judgments in relation to others, attentiveness sometimes coexists with amazing callousness, painful shyness with swagger, the desire to be recognized and appreciated by others - with ostentatious independence, the fight against authorities, generally accepted rules and widespread ideals - with the deification of random idols

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Features of the psychological development of adolescents 10-11 years old Primary school teacher of the VKK Smelyakova T.L. MBOU Secondary School No. 19 Voronezh

Developmental Features By the age of 11, the child’s hormonal background changes, causing his body to transform. Boys' voices change. Girls begin to menstruate and their breasts enlarge. Posture and gait become others. It is important for parents to understand the age characteristics of children aged 11 so as not to lose contact with them.

Psychological characteristics During this period of life, a teenager moves away from his family. The child’s position in society is important, so there is concern about appearance and interest in fashion. For girls at the age of 11, relationships with the opposite sex become important. At this age, interest in boys is often platonic. Boys reach puberty later, so they may not be interested in girls at this age.

Girls The transitional age for girls begins 1-3 years earlier than for boys. A girl’s mood becomes unstable. Experiments with her appearance are possible. There will be a desire to follow fashion, an interest in self-care. Parents need to be attentive to the girl’s surroundings. It is better to limit communication with older boys.

Boys Puberty begins later in boys. The boy's psyche begins to change earlier than his body. You should not overprotect him. The son should learn to cope with difficulties on his own. The father should teach his son men’s affairs: hammering nails, taking him fishing... Parents should listen carefully to the young man’s stories, be interested in the details

Daily routine At the age of 11, a child attends school, so adjust the routine to his activities. Since you have to get up early, sleeping late will be harmful to your health. Teenagers should go to bed no later than 10:00 p.m. At eleven years old you need to sleep at least 9 hours a day. Children spend a lot of time sitting at their desks. To prevent your posture from deteriorating, you need to include exercise and sports in your daily routine.

What a child at this age should know By the age of 11, children should learn to look after themselves independently. Teenagers normally know how to perform household chores, organize everyday life, and maintain personal hygiene. It is useful to teach your child to manage his time independently: choose when it is best to do homework, sweep the room, go for a walk with friends. In early adolescence, puberty begins: girls may begin menstruation, boys may have wet dreams. The reason for these phenomena should be explained to the child so that he is not afraid when faced with them. Parents also need to be told about the possible consequences of sexual activity: pregnancy, sexually transmitted diseases.

During puberty, behavioral changes are normal. It is important to maintain a trusting relationship with growing children. This will allow you to be the first to know if your teen is having problems and to respond in time.

Causes of aggression The cause of aggression in an 11-year-old child is the desire for independence. Often these are attempts to protect against excessive control from parents. To reduce the occurrence of unwanted situations, adults need to avoid retaliatory aggression. It is necessary to support the teenager and allow him to show independence where this is permissible.

What to do with hysterics Hysterics can appear not only in girls, but also in 11-year-old boys. The causes of this condition are varied. A child can use hysteria as a method of manipulating parents. Violent manifestations of emotions are possible if a growing person has problems with communication in a team: this is how he experiences negative emotions. There is no point in calming down a teenager; it is better to let him cry. You can hug the child and provide him with support. Sometimes it's better to leave him alone until he calms down. With age, the hysterics will stop.

What to do if a child becomes uncontrollable A teenager becomes uncontrollable, wanting to assert himself. Parents should recognize that he is growing and maturing. It will be useful to give the teenager more independence. You cannot control and punish: this can lead to deterioration of relationships, lies, and acts of spite.

Why does a child lie? Children's lies arise from fear of punishment and negative emotions. To avoid this, you need to use methods of pedagogical control and build trusting relationships. A teenager must understand that he is loved and accepted regardless of his actions

What to do if a child is very nervous Children become nervous due to improper upbringing (excessive control or constant lack of attention), hormonal changes. Increased nervousness may be a sign of problems troubling a teenager. Parents should find out what caused this behavior, think about how to protect the child, and help him cope with the situation. Parents should build trusting relationships, talk more with the teenager, and provide support.

Age characteristics of adolescents.

Teacher-psychologist, Municipal Educational Institution “Secondary School No. 13”, Zheleznogorsk, Kursk region.

Kanishcheva E. A.

Here they are, these main truths:

Late noticed, late taken into account...

No, children are not born difficult

They just didn't get help in time.

Moms and dads!

Your child is entering the time of his physiological maturation. This makes certain changes in his character, relationships with people around him and his peers. Obvious physical maturation changes a child’s outlook on life and his value guidelines.

• Self-doubt
• Anxiety
• Doubts about your own importance to parents and friends
• Aggressive, unpredictable self-defense reactions
• Emotional dependence on parents comes into conflict

Puberty

Decline

performance

Decline

interest in studying

Inattention,

absent-mindedness

Hot temper

Increased

sensitivity

The child is forced to constantly adapt to the physical and physiological changes occurring in his body, to experience a “hormonal storm”. Teenagers seem to be under stress all the time. .

New image of the physical "I"

Interest in one's appearance sharply increases:

• The child experiences everything acutely flaws in appearance , real and imaginary
• Disproportion of body parts, clumsiness of movements, irregularity of facial features, skin losing its childlike purity, excess weight or thinness - everything frustrating , and sometimes it leads to feelings of inferiority, isolation, even neurosis
• Severe emotional reactions to one's appearance soften when warm, trusting relationships With close adults who must show both understanding and tact

Developing Self Awareness

During adolescence, two distinct forms appear successively self-awareness :

feeling of adulthood

"I-concept"

Feeling of adulthood

a teenager’s attitude towards himself as an adult and awareness of himself as, to some extent, an adult

How does a teenager feel a sense of adulthood?

• In the desire for everyone - both adults and peers - to treat him not as a child, but as an adult

• In a desire for independence, a desire to protect certain aspects of one’s life from parental interference

Claims equality in relationships with adults and enters into conflicts, defending his “adult” position

Issues of appearance, relationships with peers, sometimes studies

• Own tastes, views, assessments, and own line of behavior appear

• A moral “code” appears, prescribing for adolescents a clear style of behavior in friendly relations with peers:

mutual support,

help in case of need,

confidence in a friend and trust in him,

protecting a friend in his absence,

accepting a friend's success,

emotional comfort in communication.

Since a teenager is largely inconsistent and contradictory, he often deviates from this set of rules, but expects his friends to strictly observe them

Everything is unstable, views may change in a week

"One for all and all for one"

The child’s “I-concept” is formed

At about 12-13 years of age, interest arises to your inner world, and then it happens gradual complication and deepening of self-knowledge

Inner world

• Difficult experiences associated with new relationships, his personal traits and actions are analyzed by him biasedly
• The teenager wants to understand what he really is like and imagines what he would like to be

Personal reflection and the need to understand oneself give rise to confessionality in communication with peers, and diaries , which begin to lead precisely during this period, poems and fantasies

Self-esteem in adolescence turns out to be low in its general level and unstable

Communication with peers

Communication permeates the entire life of adolescents, leaving an imprint on learning, non-academic activities, and relationships with parents.

• Leading activities during this period: intimate and personal communication
• Teenage friendship is a complex, often contradictory phenomenon.
• “Happiness is when you are understood”
• Close friends are peers of the same sex, study in the same class, belong to the same environment

Informal groups

• Mutual sympathy
• Common interests, activities
• Entertainment options, places to spend free time

Communication with adults

• Parental influence is already limited
• A teenager’s value orientations, his understanding of social problems, and moral assessments of events and actions depend primarily on the position of his parents.
• Adolescents are characterized by a desire to emancipation (liberation from any dependence, abolition of any restrictions, equal rights) from close adults:

needing parents, their love and care, their opinion,

they have a strong desire to be independent,

equal to them in rights.

How the relationship will develop during this difficult period for both parties depends mainly on the style of upbringing that has developed in the family, and the ability of the parents to rebuild - to accept the sense of adulthood of their child.

• Give me freedom. Disobedience is the desire to get out from under your care.
• No notations. Change your communication style, switch to a calm, polite tone. Understand: the child has the right to his own opinion and his own conclusions.

3. Make a compromise. No one was able to prove anything through the scandal.

4. The one who is smarter gives way. Remember: the laurels of a winner in relationships with your own children do not decorate.

5. No need to offend. The child learns from us the ability to get out of difficult situations with dignity.

6. Be firm and consistent. Children are subtle psychologists.

• To be loved
• Understood
• Recognized
• Respected
• So that someone needs him and is close
• So that he has success in business, studies
• So that he can realize himself
• Develop your abilities
• Improve yourself
• Respect yourself

• Try to spend time together. Just don’t sit silently in front of the TV, but do something that interests him. For example, play basketball or sing with a guitar.
• Do not interfere in activities that he can cope with without you, do not impose your opinion on any issue, do not criticize.

• Help when he asks you to.
• Maintain even the most insignificant successes in everything - in studies, sports, etc.
• Share your feelings. Resolve conflicts peacefully. Do not give free rein to tears, screams, threats.

• Use friendly phrases more often. For example: “I feel good with you”, “I’m glad to see you”, “I like the way you...”, “I missed you”, “Let’s (sit, do...) together”, “You, Of course you can handle it”, “It’s so good that we have you”...

• Remember that bad deeds are not always a reflection of a teenager's inner world.
• Empathize, do not ridicule or push away in moments of frankness.

• Hug! At least four, and preferably eight times a day. “Adult” teenagers sometimes need manifestations of parental affection more desperately than tiny toddlers.

Yes, grown-up children are not gifts. It is sometimes very difficult to behave with restraint and calm with them. But it is important to remember the wise words: “This too shall pass.” Make it a rule when you go to bed to analyze your day. Mentally note mistakes in communicating with a teenager, try to predict his behavior.

Your reward will be trust, respect and love.

And this is so important...

“Love your child for who he is, and forget about the qualities he does not have... The result of upbringing depends not on the degree of severity or gentleness, but on your feelings for the child and on the life principles that you instill in him.”

Benjamin Spock