Hello, dear friend, today we will talk about those awkward moments when you are on a date with a girl and want to please her, but she is silent all the time and extinguishes your attempts to establish communication with her silence. Unfortunately, such cases are far from uncommon. And, the saddest thing is, in this situation, you are unlikely to be able to even get a kiss from her, not to mention going to her home.

However, it's not all bad. After reading this article, you will learn how to save “silent dates”. 6 great tips will help you with this.

It’s no secret that the easiest way to carry on a conversation is to ask a friend from a friend “how was your day.” This is always a good option to exchange information without knowing or not wanting to touch on any personal topics, interests of the interlocutor, etc. However, its disadvantage is that the conversation fades out very quickly, there is no logical continuation of the conversation, and the girl begins to remain silent simply because she does not know what to say next.

Therefore, we need to slightly change the very principle of conducting a conversation. Instead of asking a girl what she did today, ask:

• How did she feel at that moment?
• Why did she feel this
• What she would like to do, but could not, etc.

In general, get the girl emotional. And then the conversation will easily jump to her personal experiences, attitude towards the world and people, which, of course, plays into our hands, because Emotional dialogues are a great way to get closer to a person.

As you may have already understood from the previous advice, awkward pauses and constant silence are a consequence of a lack of emotions. Therefore, if emotions cannot be extracted from the girl herself, they can be added artificially. The easiest way to do this is music. You just need to find out what kind of music a girl likes and find a common denominator with your tastes. Under no circumstances choose something you don’t like, as your emotional state is no less important.

How to add some music to your date.

• The easiest way is concerts and clubs. But it is suitable in the case when you are prepared in advance for the silence of your interlocutor.
• Otherwise, you can change your plans for a date and take her to some place with a music program.
• And finally, no one forbade using a phone or player on a date. Listen to a couple of songs together, lighten the mood, and continue the conversation.

The vast majority of guys take a girl's silence personally. Of course, there are times when she remains silent on a date because she doesn't like something about you or you've made her angry about something. But this is only one of the possible reasons. She may not be feeling well or be overwhelmed by her own personal problems or simply be out of sorts.

All you need to do is ask her directly - “is everything okay”, “maybe I did something wrong.” This is a standard polite question, which, even if it really is about you. (We exclude rare cases of truly severe discontent).

This question not only allows you to smooth out the situation, but also gives the girl the opportunity to speak out. Believe me, in most cases she shows with all her appearance that she wants you to ask her what’s wrong. And he’s very offended that you don’t ask. So let’s not miss another chance to get a girl emotional, especially since this only requires a little courage.

The secret to a successful date is for the girl to give you all her attention. And if earlier you could be afraid that she would switch him to another cooler guy, now your main enemy has become telephones and other modern technology.

If you notice that a girl is suspiciously silent, pay attention to whether she is sitting on her phone and chatting with 5 other guys, so what?

If she really looks at the screen often, you need to take action, otherwise the date will end in disaster. Getting out of the situation is not so difficult. The main thing is to turn everything into a joke.

You can say, for example:

• Let's give our phones a rest, they're so tired during the day
• Let's bet who will be the first to look at the phone, that's what they want
• There's nothing more boring than sitting on your phone when...

You can come up with many options, but under no circumstances hint to her that she doesn’t devote enough time to you, this will only worsen your image in her eyes!

A situation may well arise, especially on first dates, that you simply have not yet found common ground. Hence the constant awkward silence on her part. Try this. Tell her honestly: “I’m having a hard time thinking of what to say to you now, maybe you feel the same way?” Say it casually and with a smile.

Then you can laugh together at the awkward situation, ask her for help, etc. The whole point is that you will prove yourself to be a brave, witty and delicate person. Now she will try to help you get her to talk, and communication will flow more naturally.

You don't like it when girls close themselves off on a date and don't share their emotions, and that's understandable. But ask yourself this question: “Are you opening up yourself?” Can you:

Learn to create interesting content for a date, and the problem of your interlocutor’s silence will appear very rarely on your way. Well, if you suddenly encounter it, then the above tips will help you get out of any situation with dignity!

A common problem that people experience when communicating with someone is that at some point all thoughts suddenly disappear from their heads in one minute, and the person is lost, does not know what to say next. This situation can easily arise if you are in an environment that is alien to you (being, for example, among fans of football or another sport, and not knowing the rules of the game, it will be very difficult for you to talk with them). But often awkward silence occurs because you want and try to be too correct (perfect) in the communication process, trying to make a good impression. Let's look at ways and secrets that will help avoid awkward silence during conversation:

1. You don't have to strive for perfection

People, in most cases, don't need your genius. They expect an easy, unobtrusive conversation. Understand that you don't have to (and certainly don't have to) be perfect in your statements. Speak simply, interestingly, do not try to “show off” your knowledge of some abstruse words - this will bother people more. It’s not for nothing that they came up with the saying “Keep it simple, and people will be drawn to you.”

2. Don't think about anything for too long.

By thinking too much, you begin to withdraw into yourself. Bring your attention to the present moment instead of ruminating and rummaging through your head in hopes of finding the perfect answers to questions or topics of conversation. Carefully observe the poses and listen to what the interlocutors are saying, give yourself completely to the conversation.

3. Be curious!

Ask and listen to your interlocutor’s favorite topics. Ask simple, unobtrusive leading questions. Your opponent will be very pleased that you listen to him and show interest. People love it when they are interested in them, their hobbies - they feel significant when someone shows interest in them.

4. Game of associations

Each subsequent conversational topic follows from the previous one. For example, when talking about walks, you can talk about the fact that you have a dog and you often walk with it in the forest. The next topic for discussion could be nature or pets. And so on in the same spirit!

5. Find common topics of conversation

TV, movies, weather, news, shopping, city events, pets, etc. represent an endless supply of topics for easy, relaxed communication. Just avoid topics like religion, politics and the like, as many people have different views on the same things and therefore prefer not to discuss such things.

6. Prepare in advance

Finally, if you are planning to attend a theme party (for example, an IT party, an economic forum, a fan gathering, a meeting of dog lovers, etc.), it would be a good idea to get acquainted with the interests and passions of these people, their slang and the latest news and trends in their environment .

By following these rules, you will achieve success in communicating with people and learn avoid awkward silences. Good luck!

There are situations when it is inconvenient to remain silent. How to avoid awkward silence and make the conversation pleasant and relaxed? There are several psychological tricks that will help you avoid awkward silence.

What to do if you are in an interesting company or with a person you are interested in, and suddenly there is silence. Everyone feels awkward in this situation. How to be?

There are always many interesting elements around you. Use them to keep the conversation going. You can, for example, propose one of the banal but fascinating topics for discussion. For example, “What would you spend a million dollars on?”, “What would happen if people were immortal?”, “What does it take to be happy?” Make a list of interesting topics in advance. When there is an awkward silence, offer one of them for discussion.

Surely you have interesting and funny stories that will be interesting to others. Extreme sports and tourism, television programs, films, music, exotic dishes, new technical means, world events - this is only a small part of what we can talk about. There are plenty of conversation starters to start instead of remaining awkwardly silent.

The subject of conversation can be the personal experiences of the interlocutor. And when people don't want to share their personal thoughts, maintaining an awkward silence, you can always tell an anecdote or funny story.

Everyone loves to talk about themselves. Encourage him to do this. The ability to listen is an important and useful quality. But don't overdo it, just asking is enough. If a person does not want to answer your question, you can ask something like “Where were you?”, “What did you see?” etc.

And this way to break the silence is ideal for those who are in love. Ask questions like: “Do you like neck kisses?”, “Who would you take to a desert island?” Try not to ask too frank (intimate) questions. This may cause a quarrel.

Here we have given only a small part of the ways to break the awkward silence. But it would be stupid to describe them all. We provided direction and food for thought. Then you will figure it out on your own (identify topics, find interesting questions, and maybe come up with something very original and creative), because you will have to communicate without outside help.

P.S. Even though this article is written for those who want to know how to break an awkward silence, it is still worth making a reservation. Sometimes it is better to remain silent than to speak. It’s not for nothing that there is a proverb: “Silence is golden!”

27.01.2008 42263 +59

They say that if everyone suddenly fell silent, a quiet angel flew by. They also say that the closest person is the one with whom there is always not only something to talk about, but also something to keep silent about.
However, there are also situations when it is somehow awkward to remain silent. How to avoid painful silence and how to make silence pleasant?

Without a tongue and the bell is mute.
(folk wisdom)

A cheerful company or a romantic date... and then suddenly everyone fell silent. Try to invite everyone to reflect on one of the banal, numerous, but interesting topics. For example, “what would I spend a million on,” “What would happen if people became immortal,” “What is needed for happiness,” or make a hit parade of the stupidest songs/movies. Many ideas will immediately arise that you can both think about together and laugh at.
In everything that happens around you there are always many interesting elements. For example, children are sitting on a tree, eating unripe apricots and being silent - the “talker” is busy;) And this is just for you.
Also, almost everyone likes to remember the carefree and bright time of their life - childhood. And probably everyone has an interesting story in reserve, worthy of attention and involuntarily causing a smile.
Extreme sports and recreation, TV shows, movies, music, exotic dishes, new technology, events in the country - topics in order not to remain silent and dispel melancholy - darkness :)
You can play games such as “Associations” and “Words in Reverse”, which are suitable for those cases when interlocutors do not know how to share personal things, creating awkward silence.
Everyone loves to talk about themselves. Encourage it. The ability to listen is an important and useful quality of a good interlocutor. Ask. Unobtrusively (nobody here likes paparazzi), you can ask something like this: “Where were you?”, “What did you see?”. It is quite possible that the interlocutor will perk up and tell you something interesting. If you want to talk about dreams and desires, talk. Would you like to exchange experiences or useful tips?
And one more way to dispel silence - suitable for lovers. Make yourself an “Hour/Evening of Revelations.” When you have questions that you want answered, but you don’t know how to ask. Ask questions like: “Do you like being kissed on the neck,” or “Who would you take with you to a desert island?” Avoid asking “What happened with that Lenka?”, such a question can provoke a quarrel.
Conversation – in which information is exchanged.
Communication is, apparently, an art. Not every conversation is there. In communication, a person expresses himself, compares and evaluates; only in communication does a person assert his place in society. Loneliness is almost non-existence.

By the way, to remain silent is a big word to say.
(Folk wisdom)
Be silent, hide and hide
and your feelings and dreams
Let it be in the depths of your soul....
Tyutchev.
....A thought expressed is a lie...

And when silence is golden:

When you indulge in another language - emotional impulses and bodily sensations.
When you build a sand castle together or decorate each other with whipped cream.
When you are happy lying in the sun, chewing blades of grass and listening to the buzzing of midges and the singing of birds.
When you enthusiastically watch the twinkling stars in the distant sky, and you can only remain silent, hold your breath and enjoy the beauty.
When you kiss at night in the entrance, and behind the walls the neighbors sleep lightly :)
When you play secret intelligence officers. Real heroes understand each other by looks and gestures, and do not engage in unnecessary chatter.

To remain silent means the matter will not end.
(Folk wisdom)

When it is contraindicated to remain silent:

When you are asked about something very important and are waiting for an answer.
When you got to the game "Oh, lucky one!"
When you answer an exam.
When you need to talk about something very good.
When you need to talk about something very bad.
When you congratulate your mother on her birthday :)
When there is no strength to remain silent.

I’m sure that my answer will remain unanswered :) The problem is that it’s difficult for me to formulate the problem itself. But I must say, and I have already admitted this to myself, so it still exists. This is an awkward silence that arises during a conversation.

Most likely, the problem is that someone constantly “comes up” who tries to ask me a question - “What should I say next?”, trying to somehow distract me from the topic under discussion (or rather, he doesn’t even try, but rather asks, thereby distracting). And what to do in such a situation? How to get rid of awkward silence, from these prolonged pauses?

Good time!

I hasten to bitterly disappoint you, because I meanly and insidiously answer your letter almost immediately as soon as I received it :) You probably did not expect such insidiousness, and now you are completely disorganized and confused, and you don’t know what to say and how to say it, and in general it is not clear what to say next, and whether it will be correct to say what needs to be said, but I am not entirely sure of this, since it is not entirely clear what the grounds could be for this kind of confidence, because everything is so complex and ambiguous that It’s difficult to evaluate all this, and to formulate everything properly before finally saying anything. This is how it happens :)

At one time, I also suffered quite a bit from the problem you write about. Then I did not yet distinguish consciousness from the subconscious, and in general, I did not know such a word as psychology, but there is a problem, and it, damn it, annoys me, and I need to do something with it and somehow solve it.

Let’s say I’m talking about Pushkin, that he’s, like, a genius of words and a giant of poetry, but the interlocutor somehow perceives this without much interest and reacts very passively, that is, he doesn’t develop the conversation in any way, and doesn’t support the idea that AS Pushkin is a giant of poetic thought. This results in an AWFUL SILENCE. Damn it... Pushkin doesn’t inspire him. But I don’t know what to say, because I don’t know what can inspire him... And, in short, instead of rejoicing and enjoying communication, the result is nothing but torment, and even a cold sweat breaks out from the hanging silence. What to do?

Well, I decided to cunningly recruit him for the benefit of communication. Since he is so questioning and doubtful, I came up with an idea: let him ask questions to the interlocutor instead of me repeating them. So give me your record: how do you feel about this? What do you think about this? But if earlier he told me this, now I forwarded these questions to my interlocutor.

I used to start conversations something like this: listen, Vasya Pupkin, yesterday I read Dostoevsky and Gogol, it’s super! And Vasya shrugs and says that he can’t stand the classics. AN AWKWARD SILENCE. So we talked, they say.

Then I started speaking differently: Vasya, do you like Dostoevsky? No, I don’t like it,” says Vasya. - Listen, Vasya, what do you like to read? Well, off we go... And no problems in communication... My interlocutors even began to respect me very much and enjoy communicating with me, because the conversation began to turn more and more not about what I wanted to talk about, but about what they were interested in talking about. My critic and questioner methodically asked questions and clarified the situation, and then we simply talked about topics that were pleasant to both of us.

This, in fact, was just the beginning. Then came various and very useful additions. For example, an argument or discussion on a particular topic. Previously, if I didn’t immediately find what and how to answer, then an AWFUL PAUSE would arise, because I had a cool theory that I must know everything and have answers to any cases. Then I started saying that - “who the hell knows, Comrade Major, I need to think a little, I don’t have an answer right away,” - and another half of the problems disappeared into the sand as unnecessary. That is, in other words, if I don’t know something that needs to be said, then I don’t remain silent, but start TALKING that I somehow don’t know it, and although something is spinning in my head, there is no clear answer not yet, but I’m very, very interested in this discussion, this debate - I’ll definitely think about this topic again later, I’ll look for literature - by the way, what can I read on this topic, guys, can you tell me, and I’ll be very grateful to you for the information - And so on and so forth.

Then a lot of new things appeared: for example, if the conversation was at home, then during the pause I asked for a glass of water (let me drink, please) - and also asked not to change the topic of conversation, since it was very interesting! You can “remember” that you need to make an urgent call, or something else (there are a lot of options here, for any situation and audience). The pause is filled by any reality, so it is not at all necessary to fill it with the topic of conversation and the need to give an answer to it. A few seconds of switching from one to another, and the answer, as a rule, is found.

Or, in the end, you can feign a feigned passion for searching for an answer, actively scratch your head, ruffle your hair, and even raise a moralizing finger in the air - now, now, wait a moment, citizens, the question is, of course, an interesting one, I’ll figure it out as I go along. .. It is best to combine all this into a vinaigrette convenient for you and apply it according to situations. Works for five plus. Because it has been tested from my own experience.

My best wishes!

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