Realize the simple truth, which is formulated in a short sentence: “Your freedom ends where someone else’s begins.”
As soon as you feel affection, immediately repeat it like a mantra. Put yourself in the shoes of the person you are attached to. How will you feel when you find out that some person with psychological characteristics has become attached to you? At a minimum, this causes anxiety and, as a result, rejection.
The tendency to become “attached” is within you, and it is associated with your psychological characteristics. For example, with low self-esteem. You already intuitively understand that it is you who need to change. This is a very good sign. So that's it. You are alone, and the main person in your life is not your potential partner, but you. It is with yourself that you should feel good. What should I do for this? Learn to be alone with yourself. How to do it? There is a good illustration:

There is a “black hole” inside every person. This oppressive feeling of emptiness. An unpleasant, sticky feeling that every person tries to get rid of. Why does this seem bad to us? Most often, this feeling occurs in adolescents and young adults and continues throughout life. The fact is that children do not have this. Children by nature are explorers and their innate curiosity makes them engage in all sorts of seemingly nonsense. In fact, children are constantly busy - they receive the most important information about the world from their own experience. Naturally, everyday experience is completely exhausted and at one point people become bored. And the “black hole” begins to grow. Then, most often, teenagers develop an interest in members of the opposite (not necessarily) sex. And it is at this moment that the “black hole” shrinks again, because the person again begins to gain new experience of close interaction with another person. This is an extremely important element of socialization. I will not describe what happens at the moment of the break, but it is obvious that after, emptiness again fills all the insides. This experience is incredibly tragic and negative. A person strives with all his might not to experience it anymore, and the brain forms approximately the following attitude: I don’t want to be alone, loneliness is unbearable, you need to become attached to a person, this is the only way out. This is roughly what happens sometimes.
So what to do?
First, we must admit that the existence of a “black hole” inside is a completely normal phenomenon. Yes, you need to understand that this is absolutely ultra-normal and natural.
Second, love your “black hole”. Stay with her for a while, don't run away and don't be afraid of her. She is a part of you and she is your friend. Stop denying it, try experimenting with this condition.
Third, after you have accepted and realized that this happens to every person. Do something, start developing, look for your calling, and don’t just sit around at university. Find a common language with yourself, gain new experiences, learn languages, find something you love. ( Do some science.).
Fourth, accept that the feeling of emptiness will always be with you. Sometimes it will wake up and bring you discomfort, but you already know that it is not your enemy. Therefore, the period of denial will be short and you will again do something interesting. As a bonus, a new relationship should no longer cause you to fear that it will end, since you have just embarked on the path of independence and self-sufficiency.

The above text was not written by a psychologist, in particular from my own experience, but taking into account some generalizations that are valid for all people. This must be taken into account. In the second paragraph, I expanded somewhat on the views that I personally hold, since, as I believe, they are closely related to the original question. Hope this is helpful.

Read the article and draw your own conclusions regarding all the words written.

Until we understand and feel what attachment is, we cannot understand how to get rid of attachment to a person or object.

Attachment can be so strong and imperceptible at the same time, that it really affects our whole life.

Attachment is emotional support from a person or an object in order to improve one’s own well-being.

We can only be attached to good emotions and good feelings. Very many people become attached to their “other half”, alcohol, tobacco, tasty and unhealthy food, laziness. Some people become attached to the Internet and TV because they are sources of good emotions and security.

There is nothing wrong with affection or love. That's why there is no need to beat yourself up or scold yourself because of this. This is how it happened. You become attached, and there is nothing wrong with your attention being focused on enjoying something or someone. We enjoy life and that's completely normal.

Dependence on temporary

In life, many have had attachments, for example, to the opposite sex.

We become attached, and we feel good as long as the object to which we become attached allows us to receive from it those emotions, pleasures and feelings that we like. But absolutely every person and every object in this world is temporary. This means that it exists now and may not exist tomorrow.

And the problem is that ATTACHMENT = DEPENDENCE.

Of course, we don't want to be dependent. We don't want to depend on anything, but we still want to enjoy what is temporary. Any relationship is temporary. Money, a job, your favorite TV show, your favorite clothes, a car are temporary. Having lost it all, we are upset and want to quickly learn how to get rid of love addiction.

Sooner or later the object will disappear. Entire cities and people disappear, new ones appear. Or people simply leave, don’t want to have a relationship with a person, and new ones appear.

Everything in this world comes and goes. Therefore, initially treat everything as temporary.

Analysis and self-exploration

By looking carefully inside yourself, you can see the source and the place that allows you to get pleasure.

Ask these questions right now in relation to your loved one, car or apartment.

Imagine this object or person and ask yourself:

1. What will happen if this person is not there? Will I worry, suffer and be afraid of this?
2. Why will I worry? Why am I afraid of losing this in my life?

Answer - this is the fear of losing comfort, pleasure, fear of not feeling loved and becoming lonely. This is the fear of stopping receiving the pleasures that we now receive with this person.

This happens because if we are deprived of all this externality, we will not feel so good. Our mood will fall because we internally seek sources of pleasure.

This happens because our society does not take care of itself. Our society has other trends, other fashions. People live by money, they live by the idea of ​​fame, popularity, security, but all this does not bring happiness, does not bring independence and peace of mind. This does not give anything most important to a person. And at the level of feelings, all this results in inner emptiness, depression, addiction, worries, fears of losing. A hasty search begins for a way to help get rid of attachment to a person or object.

My video

Is it true that a girl’s favorite things that were once given to you reinforce your addiction to her?

What to do in case of a breakup?

I talk about this and much more in my video.

Letting go of attachments: stop taking your condition from outside

People can be very rich on the outside, but on the inside they are very empty.! I'm not saying to throw away everything external, let it be - it doesn't bother anyone.

Just stop boosting your mood with external objects and paraphernalia.

For example, the idea of ​​a guy having a girlfriend makes him feel better every day. He needs to stop thinking about the fact that he has a girlfriend from the very beginning of the day. Maximum free yourself from the idea that you have something in this world. Find a small moment in your head that allows you to enjoy and discard it. You just stop thinking about him. You just stop enjoying it.

Do it all little by little, not all at once. It's like a diet.

You will feel worse at first. But it is necessary. Throw away attachments from your life, no matter how hard it may be at first.

Live by the idea that you are already okay. You keep throwing away and removing attachments from your life.

You have a loved one, but you should not extract emotions from him in order to improve your condition.

Over time, you will learn not to think that you have it. At the same time, you will not be afraid of losing it. Ultimately, you will be able to get rid of love addiction. You no longer need to suck fortunes from somewhere, because your condition is already better. Thanks to self-development, you find the reasons why you depend on something, throw them away - this increases your inner state, your inner self-esteem. You begin to love yourself more and be more independent.

Why condition is not the main thing

"Happiness is a state, and the person has no control over the condition.

Freedom is understanding, to which by chance and desire you can come.

When you are free, you cannot be unhappy, and you are no longer interested in experiencing happiness - since this will be just another feeling against the backdrop of your freedom.

Therefore, freedom is much more fundamental and limitless than any happiness.

And it is precisely this kind of freedom that is happiness.”.©

Attachment is a habit receive good fortune from outside. But wealth shouldn't be your priority. The condition is always changing and always different. You shouldn't depend on it or get too hung up on it.

Conditions come and go. You don't have to take it from outside, take it from within. The condition should not be based on external factors.

Everything is temporary: you are already full and independent on your own

Then you will notice that everything in your life is no longer yours. Even your wife or husband is no longer yours, because you no longer want him to be yours.

You are no longer sucking the feelings out of your partner. You still exist, you still love each other.

With this understanding, your relationship improves.. But you are no longer afraid of losing a person. Therefore, you know that now your condition does not depend on a person or an object in this world.

Nothing in this world can make you feel better.

Not because you become insensitive. On the contrary, because you fill yourself with such feelings and states, which do not depend on anything external.

You begin to truly love yourself, becoming an independent and happy person.

Realize that pleasure is not happiness!

Someday you will still lose everything. Everything is subject to time.

Therefore, everything will definitely go away from you. Either we or our loved ones will leave.

In 100 years, we and everything we use now will not exist. So, what’s the point of getting attached and expecting that it will be with us forever?

Don't be stupid no need to strive for external pleasures.

We are just living this life now, enjoying it. We see how it all happens, we create, we love, we do things, we relax.

The meaning of life is love! And love is the meaning of life. But love is not attachment, it is not fear! This is independence! Love is, first of all, love towards yourself.

And any fears and worries appear primarily due to a lack of self-love!

Love yourself more than you love yourself now.

People cannot live without a sense of involvement in the life of another person. We all need to feel loved and needed. Everyone wants to be taken care of and shown sincere attention. Affection is one of the forms of manifestation of love. Everyone knows that a feeling of well-being is born from the unconscious need to be needed by someone.

This article discusses the origins of attachment. Perhaps this material will help someone understand difficult relationships with a spouse, child, parents and make the right decision.

Definition of the concept

Attachment is the need for another person's love. How often do we begin to not only expect such manifestations of feelings in our direction, but even become offended and angry when attention is not focused on our person. These are the fears of an insecure person who does not know his worth. Attachment to a person, in essence, reflects our own attitude towards ourselves and life in general. It has been noticed that the more a person loves himself, the less he feels the need for other people. That is, strong attachment is always synonymous with personal distress, lack of confidence in one’s strengths and capabilities.

How is this feeling formed?

The origins of any manifestations of trouble should always be sought in childhood. If an adult suffers excessively without the presence of a spouse or child in their life, and is afraid to be separated from their parents, this means that there is some problem. Perhaps when he was a child, his parents did not pay enough attention to him. And now he is trying to compensate for this dislike, trying to be needed by everyone he can: his other half, his own child. But such an omission cannot be corrected over time: everything must be done on time, and love too. It is very important to go through all the stages of love gradually, so as not to confuse the relationship later and not add unnecessary insults and misunderstandings.

Painful focus on someone interferes with development, the formation of prospects for the future, and impedes personal growth. Attachment to a person sometimes infringes on one’s own interests and forces one to look for ways to preserve the relationship. There is no need to get too attached; you need to have some personal space: live on your own and allow others to build their destiny at their own discretion.

Bowlby's attachment theory

A British scientist identified 4 types of predisposition to the development of the inability to live without another person. John Bowlby mainly looked at the relationship between mother and child, but this model also makes sense to consider in the light of the interaction of adults with each other. He called the first type of attachment secure. Its essence is as follows: in the relationship, reasonable boundaries have been reached between the adult and the needs of the child. The parent does not infringe on the personality of his child in any way; he allows him to grow fully and gain the necessary knowledge. I must say that this one is the most constructive of all, since it does not hinder development or make one suffer.

Anxious-avoidant behavior demonstrates the child’s dependence on the parent, creates deep feelings in the event of separation from him, and the inability to be alone for even a short time. Emotional attachment is very strong. Due to the fact that the parent shows little emotion, the child is afraid to express his own feelings out loud, and a fear of intimacy arises. As they grow older, such children experience significant difficulties in building personal relationships and because they constantly feel that others are not interested in them, which leads to doubts about their importance.

The ambivalent-resistance position is manifested by a great fear of the unknown. A person puts obstacles for himself on the path of self-knowledge and self-improvement. Uncertainty and shyness are a consequence of childhood upbringing, when parents did not recognize the child’s obvious merits and did not praise him for his courage, so he became extremely shy.

The disorganized-controlled position includes all of the above manifestations and is characterized by inconsistency of actions, frequent mistakes, lack of recognition of one’s value, and fear. Bowlby’s Attachment Theory demonstrates the origin of such a phenomenon as painful psychological dependence on another person. Such relationships always destroy feelings.

Affection or love?

When does love become addiction? Where is the line separating true relationships from those that force a person to act as a beggar? Understanding this issue is not as simple as it might seem at first glance.

The most difficult of all are Attachments, whatever they may be, sometimes they bring severe suffering.

A lover constantly needs his partner to assure him of his boundless love, to demonstrate endless tenderness and fidelity. If this does not happen, doubts, suspicions, unfounded accusations, and jealousy begin. This happens only because a person is extremely unsure of himself and somewhere deep down in his soul doubts that he can be loved at all. True feeling is free from demands, arrogant talk and fear. Love wants to give itself, to manifest itself in endless care for a loved one and does not require anything in return.

How to recognize an unhealthy relationship?

Painful attachment is always a limited self-perception. It seems to people that they are not loved, but in fact they themselves do not show interest in themselves, do not take advantage of opportunities that could benefit them, take them to a new level of development. A person experiencing a state of acute attachment does not value himself as a person. That’s why he needs someone else to compensate for his own drama in this love.

It turns out to be a vicious circle. The phrase “I can’t live without you” is often used. In this case, you always want to ask: “How did you live before meeting your loved one? Did they really vegetate, endure hunger and cold?” Even if you owe something to a specific person, you need to learn to live independently so as not to feel like you are being led all your life.

Negative consequences

We have already figured out how excessive attachment can interfere with personal growth. Negative phenomena such as self-doubt and low self-esteem are inevitable consequences. And what is the result? The personality gets lost in the flow of its own fears, and at some point it simply becomes impossible for it to move forward. And it all starts with self-dislike. If a person is able to think about his well-being and engage in self-education, then his life changes for the better.

How to overcome unrequited love?

This fate most often befalls those who have not learned to value their own personality. It’s as if these people are being given a test, as a result of which they must regain their lost individuality and learn to understand what is important to them.

Many unhappy lovers are interested in how to get rid of attachment, which only causes suffering? Advice will not help here; you must definitely go through the all-encompassing pain that literally tears your heart in half. When the tears dry up, people come to the realization that they didn’t really love, but it seemed so to them, because there was nothing to fill life without this drama. All you need to do is find yourself a new meaning of existence.

Why is it so important to love yourself?

An adequate perception of one’s own personality is the key to success in any endeavor. Self-love provides many benefits and, above all, a powerful inner core. Then, no matter what happens, a person will know that any problems can be solved, there is no global catastrophe that cannot be corrected. A person only becomes truly free when he is able to take responsibility for everything that happens to him.

Thus, painful attachment to other people is not at all an indicator of strong love for them, but a consequence of a serious shortcoming, an omission in the formation of one’s own personality. To live happily, you need to be independent, to find inner freedom. And only then does it become possible to truly love.

Getting used to a person happens quickly, but losing the habit is a long and painful process. Attachment, also known as emotional dependence, disrupts the perception of reality and deprives one of will. This feeling attracts, binds and holds a person, depriving him of independence. It is necessary to get rid of it, especially if it is an unhealthy addiction, characterized by painful feelings during separation, temporary separation and is accompanied by fear of loss.

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Emotional attachment

Attachment can be healthy or unhealthy. The first is distinguished by an easy emotional connection, which is easy to interrupt if it is no longer needed. Unhealthy attachment is dangerous due to painful experiences when a person experiences melancholy and self-doubt during separation. Addiction takes away individuality, and his world revolves around only one thing. Often, without approval, he cannot make any choice, and he needs the advice of a loved one. Weakness of will and emotional dependence affect.

Attachment to the person you love is like nirvana - a feeling that gives pleasure. It’s just as hard to part with him as it is with your loved one. Being close to the person you love, you not only feel a sense of security, but also dependence on your loved one and the feeling itself. After breaking up with him, there is a feeling of losing a part of yourself and the pain of loss. We must stop getting attached and try to become a self-sufficient person.

How to love yourself

How to deal with attachment

To protect yourself and maintain your individuality under any circumstances, you need to get rid of addiction. This will help you gain confidence and relieve fears. By acting in certain ways, a person can overcome feelings of attachment and prevent depression caused by the end of a relationship. To do this you only need:

1. 1. Communicate more with other people. Concentration on a loved one always leads to strong addiction. When communicating with different people, thoughts and feelings are not focused on one person, but are divided among everyone with whom the person spends time. New people mean new emotions and different opinions. Communication will broaden your horizons and help you look at many things from the outside.
2. 2. Learn to rejoice. The cause of addiction is a lack of positive emotions. A person becomes attached to those people with whom he feels good, fun and reliable. You need to find joyful feelings within yourself and let them out more often. Learn to enjoy the little things and just good weather.
3. 3. Become more cheerful. Let life itself seem beautiful, filled with miracles and happy moments. You need to laugh more and entertain yourself. Over time, a person will get used to smiling more often and will feel happier, even when he is alone.
4. 4. Find a hobby. A hobby to which you can devote all your free time and do it for pleasure will bring satisfaction, fill space and occupy not only your hands, but also your head. By enjoying sports, handicrafts, cooking, collecting objects and other interesting activities, he will gradually weaken his attachment.

If attachment to a loved one develops into a painful dependence, you need to seek help from a psychologist. A qualified specialist will explain to the addict that by coping with this feeling, he will find himself and will not lose his loved one. If the patient is experiencing loss or separation, he will help him overcome the trauma and regain his zest for life.

Anyone who is predisposed to become attached to people does not feel strong and independent. To stop being addicted, you need to:

• see yourself as a person;
• be able to entertain yourself;
• learn not to be bored alone;
• develop;
• be in society more often.

By rediscovering himself, a person will learn not to become attached to people and will become a self-sufficient and interesting person.

How to get rid of addiction to a guy or girl

Attachment to a loved one or beloved forms a special kind. A warm feeling is mixed with a certain amount of fear, and the person tries to spend more time with his loved one. When love has passed and the relationship has ended, people disperse, but the habit of seeing him nearby remains for some time. To get rid of attachment to a person who has now become a stranger, you need several steps that relationship psychology recommends:

1. 1. Close the door to the past. As hard as it may be, we must admit the fact that the past cannot be returned. We need to let him go and cross out the past, accept the breakup as a given. Over time, you will even like the feeling of freedom and independence.
2. 2. Start dating others. Feelings for a guy or girl you broke up with recently are still fresh, and it’s unlikely that anyone else will quickly replace him. But the emptiness that has formed inside will definitely be filled and will give you confidence in your feminine charms or masculine charm.
3. 3. Learn to meditate. Having acquired such skills and learned to relax, you will be able to feed yourself with energy and strength on your own. Then you won’t have to look for people who will share their energy by communicating and spending time together.
4. 4. Set yourself in a positive mood. Look to the future with hope for the best and be prepared for different developments. Don't let difficulties and failures scare you. Every victory over circumstances is a new experience that makes you stronger and smarter.
5. 5. Discover something new and unknown in yourself. Develop your talents and try extreme sports. This will make you bolder, more purposeful and confident.
6. 6. Become a volunteer or do charity work. There are many people and animals around who find it even more difficult. Help will help you feel needed, and protecting the weak will make you feel strong.

You can get a puppy or a stray kitten. Taking care of them will distract you from sad thoughts and give you joy and a new friend.

Attachment to a person is a feeling that arises as a result of strong sympathy or love and devotion to a certain person, and is accompanied by the presence of intimacy and the desire to maintain it. However, this state of affairs is not always positive, because a strong attachment to a person can replace love or arise even without its presence, and then this clinginess acts as a painful dependence and a pathology of personality development.

What is attachment

The mechanism of attachment development initially determines human survival, since without the help of adults, a human baby is not capable of survival. To maintain these relationships and provide oneself with appropriate living conditions, an attachment is formed to parental figures who ensure physical survival, emotional development, and knowledge of this world. Further, becoming more and more immersed in society, attachments are formed to teachers (if he attends a kindergarten), and then to other adults, then children. Forming such attachments to those closest to the environment can be safe when there is an emotional connection, the parent listens to the child, and an environment is created that promotes confidence and adaptability in personality formation).

But there are not so pleasant development options, one of which is avoidant, and occurs if there is emotional neglect on the part of the parent to the needs of the child, and the behavior and availability of the parent turns out to be unpredictable, then the child grows up annoying, focused on external assessment and devalues ​​close relationships. The most destructive form of primary attachment is disorganizing, when the child is constantly suppressed or intimidated, which leads to inaction or great difficulties in establishing contacts.

It was revealed that people who had difficulties in forming attachment are no longer capable of establishing open relationships, they do not form a heartfelt attachment, which indicates violations and can lead to antisocial behavior.

A feeling of attachment accompanies every person, is expressed towards places, objects, food and people, a certain course of events and specific relationships - everything that a person gets used to and that brings him joy can be called attachment, but it is different from need. It is possible to live without attachments, but with them it is more comfortable, more joyful, not so scary (depending on what the attachment is to and on the basis of which it was formed, such sensations complement), but it is either impossible to live without needs at all, or it is difficult and affects the health and general tone.

Attachment to people can be in all types of relationships - love, friendship, parenthood, and in any of the options, the basis is the desire for intimacy with the object. Some of these attachments have a fairly strong influence on the further formation of personality. So, depending on how the attachment with the mother is formed, relationships with the entire society will be formed, basic trust will be present or absent, and certain relationships will be laid. The way the first heartfelt attachment is formed influences all subsequent intersexual relationships, the scenarios played out by a person, the ability to open up and trust. If traumatization occurs at these two levels, then the consequences are reflected on the entire personality, and it often becomes possible only with the help of a psychotherapist to avoid destructive influence on the further course of life not only of the person himself, but of the people he meets.

A strong attachment to a person that acquires pathological characteristics is called dependence and usually occurs when there are already existing disturbances in the formation of attachments, or in the presence of facts of emotional or physical abuse.

A healthy attachment is characterized by flexibility, the absence of any benefit, and the absence of painful and negative feelings in the absence of an attachment figure. Those. a person is able to calmly experience separation, endure the unknown location and occupation of the person to whom he is attached, and the option of ending this relationship causes sadness, but not a critical level, pain and a feeling of the meaninglessness of life.

With a healthy attachment, there is a flexible personality adaptation that allows both participants in communication to breathe freely, giving resources to rely on and notice other areas of their life. With a painful addiction, such flexibility is lost, and the world narrows down to one person, the variability of behavior disappears, it becomes extremely important to constantly be near or control the object of sympathy, while other areas of life, including both partners, suffer significantly. An important marker of a painful relationship is a feeling of pain, fear and a manic desire to prevent separation by any means, even if the relationship does not bring happiness, even if the partner wants to leave.

Attachment does not arise overnight; it takes time to form, therefore, the more you communicate with a person, and the more emotional interaction and events significant for mental life arise in this communication, the more likely attachment is to arise. A super-strong attachment is characterized by intense passions, which often makes it similar to love, but the differences are that painful attachment fetters, while love liberates. It is in order not to lose their freedom that many try to avoid attachments and close relationships, thereby ending up in a counter-dependent position, where there is also no freedom, since there is only one choice - not to become attached.

Is attachment to a person good or bad?

Attachment simultaneously affects several spheres of human manifestation - feelings, thoughts, actions, self-perception. For such a multifaceted concept, there cannot be one answer in its assessment from the point of view of good and evil. Without attachment to another person, it is not possible to form social communication, adaptability in society and provide oneself with mental comfort. If there is no attachment to parents, then the entire course of personality development is disrupted, just as if disturbances in the formation of attachment occur at other important stages. Being a social being, the ability to maintain contacts and the desire for rapprochement are indicators of a person’s mental integrity.

Attachment to another gives a feeling of support and security, thus you can get the necessary support if internal resources are insufficient. People become attached to those from whom they can receive approval and help, non-judgmental acceptance, and satisfaction of existing needs. And ensuring good relationships with the environment, which is important for successful survival in the world, attachment reflects a somewhat childish model of interaction with the world. If you look at all the expectations from the object of attachment, they are addressed to the parental figure, on whom the child, one way or another, is dependent. In adulthood, any attachment carries a certain amount of dependence, and only the level of maturity of a person can regulate the negative consequences of this. If autonomous mental regulation is not formed, then any attachment will quickly develop into dependence, and instead of receiving support, the need for control will flare up, instead of the desire to have a mental and good time together, with benefit and emotional resources for both, fear of loss and the desire to chain the other will begin to appear. near.

The theme of addiction about the loss of flexibility in attachment, the deprivation of freedom of both the person himself and the one to whom he is attached is similar to drug addiction. The analogy with drug addiction is the most successful, since in the long absence of another person (a subjectively long absence may seem like a day), when there is no way to find out the location of the object and receive a dose of attention from him (for example, when the entire mobile operator network is turned off), a state begins that reflects drug addiction. withdrawal The emotional pain of losing or the possibility of losing an object is felt physically and does not allow you to fully exist.

If you manage not to slip into an infantile position of dependence, then attachment takes on an adult and mature form of its existence, manifesting itself as love, where there is a full-fledged observation of all aspects of your life, no tearing pain occurs when the object moves away, and the object of attachment itself is used not only for the purpose of getting something emotionally valuable for yourself, but more for energy exchange and caring for another. Thus, everything depends on the maturity of the individual and the degree of flexibility of this feeling.

How to get rid of attachment to a person

Usually, attachment is formed when you receive your need from another, most often it is internal strength, calmness or cheerfulness. So it’s worth learning to develop these states yourself, becoming an autonomous station of emotions for yourself. Sports, yoga, various spiritual practices and psychological groups help a lot. Create sources of happiness for yourself everywhere, because by expecting joy only from the presence of one person, you yourself form a toxic attachment and drive yourself into a dead end. Sitting within four walls in the blues, waiting for your soul mate to free yourself, and only then allowing yourself to be happy, is the right road to addiction and destruction of your relationship.

It makes sense to get rid of attachment when it begins to destroy your life and you should start by returning what was lost. Usually, the first thing that fades into the background, giving way to a person, is your favorite things and activities, so remember what brought you joy, or better yet, look again for activities that you could do while immersing yourself in the process. In addition to interesting activities, start expanding your social circle - call old friends you forgot about while immersed in your affections, go to an event and meet new people. Expand your social circle, then you can receive the emotional benefits that you receive only in those relationships from everywhere, and most likely more easily and positively.

Attachment to a person remains a psychological problem, so when you feel a craving for your object, think about what exactly is missing right now (other loved ones can give you a feeling of security, you can get a feeling of being beautiful in stores from sellers, you can even get spiritual warmth). Usually, with such an analysis, some kind of emptiness emerges, only you can fill it, be it boredom or, because no matter how much you plug your own holes with others, they do not disappear.