Date: 2015-01-19
Hello site readers.
In this article I want to give you simple tips that will help you find a common topic of conversation with a guy or girl. In my life, I noticed that many guys have problems with communication. They simply don’t know what to talk about with their interlocutor. Many people feel awkward when there is silence. As a result of this, a person begins to become stupid and ask stupid questions. Here I will share with you my experience in communicating with people.
You are probably familiar with the situation when you are walking with a girl or guy and simply don’t know what to talk to him or her about. This situation causes a feeling of awkwardness, the person begins to get nervous and ask really stupid questions like: “How do you like the weather today?”, “I like taking the subway, don’t you?”, “What are you going to do tonight?”. Perhaps the questions are not very stupid, the interlocutor may just feel that you are trying to maintain a conversation, and if this person is smart, then he will support him. But there are those people who will answer a question and then remain silent again.
It's not about you anymore. It's just that some people are boring and boring, and there's simply nothing to talk about with them. I have met a whole battery or company of such people in my life. I couldn't find a common language with them. That's okay, though. All people are different, and each person reacts to you differently. If a person likes you, then he will communicate with you, if he doesn’t like you, then there will be no contact with you.
Therefore, it is easier to find a topic for conversation when the person likes you, and you should also like him. What happens when people like each other? They try in every possible way to keep the conversation going, they even answer stupid questions and react to them normally. If I like a person, then I am ready to discuss with him even the most remote topics for me.
The ability to ask questions is the most important thing in communication. The main thing is not to arrange an interrogation (not to throw questions). Using questions, I figure out what a person likes and what he doesn’t. Each of us has a ballroom theme that we can discuss all day long. By asking questions like: “What are you interested in?”, you can already identify a sore subject of a person (if he does not keep it a secret).
Sometimes you don't even need to ask questions. For example, I have a vocal coach. Of course, I already know what to talk to her about. I always talk to her about her activities. I asked her why she chose this particular activity, how she came to this, what difficulties there were, what instruments she plays, and so on. Having asked just one question, she gave me a detailed answer. During the conversation, I asked her other questions, then talked a little about myself (not all about her), and thus we did not have cases when we were stupidly silent with her and did not know what to talk about.
I talked with one classmate about computer games, since he was interested in them, with a woman I knew about yoga and esotericism, since her interests lay precisely in these areas, with a karate coach I talked about karate. People love it when people talk about them and their hobbies. You ask them one question, and then they start babbling and you can’t stop it. There is even a joke on the topic:
“In fact, people are not interested in what you are talking about, they are just waiting for the moment when they have the opportunity to say: Here I am; and here I have".
It's very easy to start a conversation by starting to tell something from your life. It could be an interesting story, an unusual event, a cool incident. You will talk, and your interlocutor will listen to you (I hope so). Well, then, like in a joke, as soon as you finish your story, he begins: “And here I am, and here I am”. This is the nature of people. "I" comes first.
You can use jokes in conversation. If you want, you can fool around a little. The main goal is to make your interlocutor laugh. Laughter is a positive emotion. By calling him, you win over the person. He will immediately begin to reciprocate, he will also begin to make you laugh, joke, and joke. And there your communication will go in the right direction.
In my life, I noticed one thing: the better I get to know my interlocutor, the easier it is for me to communicate with him and find topics for conversation. Some people don't open up to other people right away. That is, they first need to get to know you better, and then they will begin to share their deepest secrets with you. There were many people in my life who opened up only after some time. At first it was difficult for me to find a topic for conversation with them, and then, when they began to trust me, our communication went like clockwork. Topics for conversation were easy to find.
And the most important secret of easy communication is to communicate with those people with whom you have common interests. Then it will be easy for you and your interlocutor. Using this advice, you will no longer need to wonder: . You already have it, and in this case you don’t need to look for anything.
Finally, I will say that during communication you need to behave calmly. When you are nervous, there is no topic for conversation. If you and your interlocutor are silent, then let him be the first to start a dialogue with you. I sometimes deliberately remain silent in order to make my interlocutor feel awkward, so that he begins to do something to maintain the conversation. For example, my teacher started humming a song, after which I started singing along. As a result, we talked for many hours. Relax your brain and then topics for conversation will definitely come to mind.
I wish you success everywhere and in everything. Write your questions below in the comments.
how to find a topic for conversation
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Our life is unthinkable without communication. But if at home or among friends you can relax and chaotically express your thoughts, counting on the understanding of loved ones, then you need to behave collectedly with unfamiliar people. It is important to know which issues are worth addressing and which are not. We'll tell you where to look for conversation topics and give you a universal formula for maintaining a casual conversation.
How to find interesting topics to talk about
Develop
It is easy to find interesting topics for communication for those who do not stand still, but are constantly engaged in self-development. Reading classical and modern literature, watching films with meaning, traveling, visiting exhibitions or master classes - these are the activities that make us interesting people. Leading an active lifestyle, we won’t notice how deftly we can switch from topic to topic, masterfully countering with knowledge in each area affected.
Talk about your interlocutor
It’s good when that talker is still nearby - the scattering of his phrases does not allow even the slightest pause and defuses the situation. But how to find a topic of conversation with a silent person? How to win him over? Psychologists unanimously suggest talking about your interlocutor. Of course, it’s not worth starting your appeal with the words: “Well, buddy, tell us about yourself!”
You can ask his opinion about what is happening around him or about high-profile events. By sharing their thoughts, people, without noticing it, begin to talk about themselves. Here are some sample questions that can start a dialogue: “Where are you from?”, “Do you like this city?”, “How do you like this medical reform?”
Find common
A situation that brings interlocutors together is a significant reason for conversation. For example, traveling together on a train is always conducive to this. Strangers gathered in one compartment traditionally tell each other where they are coming from and for what purpose. Why do complete opposites sometimes share this information with each other?
It's simple - they have something in common. In this case, the road from point A to point B. Paradoxically, it often happens that people who meet by chance find fascinating topics for conversation and mutual acquaintances, and sometimes even decide to continue their journey together to a certain place, exchanging addresses.
Make a compliment
This is not about fawningly praising external traits or character traits. But if we note some action or deed, expressing our admiration or respect, the mood for a friendly conversation is guaranteed. It might look like this: “How do you manage to hold yourself so well during a speech?” or “How long did you train to achieve these results?”
Tell about yourself
Our hobbies or achievements may also be of interest to someone. By talking about yourself, there is a chance that you will find common ground with your interlocutor, because he, too, may be delighted with the work of the surrealists or turn out to be an avid fisherman.
Remember the eternal
If everything about yourself has already been told, and it is desirable to continue the dialogue, what other topics can you talk about? In this case, it is worth trying to push the boundaries of the rational. There are a lot of so-called eternal questions that people have discussed at all times. These questions may seem strange or awkward at first, but they can spark an interesting conversation:
- If you were only allowed to take three things to a desert island, what would you take?
- What era would you like to live in? Why?
- What does a person's happiness consist of?
Follow the news
Current Events is a complete list of topics to talk about. It’s rare that someone isn’t interested in hearing the latest gossip about a famous show business star or finding out the details of some shocking event. It was not for nothing that the nobles of the last century began the day by reading newspapers - you can captivate your interlocutor with the news by asking his opinion about what is happening.
Universal topics for conversation
There are 6 main topics that can be raised regardless of the interlocutor's age, location or culture. In America, these topics are encapsulated in the acronym F.O.R.M. If translated into Russian, this formula will be called – S.P.O.D. Some capital letters in it represent two headings. What is this combination?
S – Family. Most are happy to talk about their roots, origins, the lives of their parents, and their place of birth. It’s rare that someone doesn’t want to brag about the achievements of their family members. If you do not ask direct or tactless questions, you can learn a lot about the interlocutor by having an interesting time with him.
P – Profession. If you need serious topics for conversation, you can talk about the education received, its quality, as well as the type of activity of the interlocutors and their professional experience. In the “P” category, social, community or economic issues may rise.
O – Rest. This block contains the most common topics for conversation with friends with whom we most often spend our leisure time. A sea of memories and even more plans are associated with vacation. Even a stranger is interested in hearing about unforgettable adventures or unusual hobbies. This also includes discussions of books, films, attractions, and the like.
O – Education. Everyone has something to tell about their student years. The sciences being studied, the behavioral characteristics of teachers, the principle of choosing a profession, funny stories are some of the most neutral and safe topics for communicating with unfamiliar people.
D – Money. Prices for medicines, the size of pensions, raising tariffs - these are topics of conversation that can not only unite the first people they meet, but also turn them against a third party. This also includes discussions about discounts, promotions, product quality, etc.
D - Others. In fact, it is cultural gossip that we learn about from the media, the Internet, social networks and other things. Discussions of memes, jokes or scandals are of more interest to young people who lead an active virtual life.
Topics of conversation that are best not brought up
A casual conversation can be killed at the very beginning if you ask a tactless question or raise a slippery topic. What things are better not to talk about?
Policy. Differences in politics can not only spoil a friendly conversation, but also start a war, as history proves. It’s not worth imposing your views, expressing opinions about political figures, naming the names of leaders whom we trust and vice versa - the likelihood of finding support is low.
Religion. Everyone has the right to believe in what they want. Many denominations, churches and religious organizations coexist among us. Proving the truth of a particular faith is a sure road to conflict. It is interreligious disagreements that cause the bloodshed of believers.
Personal life. Tactless questions of a personal nature are explosive. A person who asks questions like “When are you going to get married?”, “Are you planning to have children yet?” is clearly playing with fire. Personal life is everyone’s holy of holies and any intrusion is considered a potential threat.
Diseases. There are people who do not notice how much time they can talk about their condition. A detailed listing of symptoms, an intriguing announcement of the diagnosis, a long story about treatment methods are not very interesting topics for discussion. No matter how deeply the interlocutor listens to our speech, we should remember that he is irritated by conversations about diseases.
Topics for conversation are a powerful foundation for interesting and successful communication. By catching the right wave of conversation, we can make interesting acquaintances, make friends, and build a successful career. All you need to do is remember which questions can be raised and which are unofficially prohibited.
Tired of the constant awkward silence while talking to your boyfriend? If you have already gotten to know a person well enough, it is very difficult to find new topics to talk about. Although nothing is impossible! Follow our tips to keep your conversations interesting and fresh. These rules apply to personal conversations, chat correspondence or SMS messages.
Steps
- How was your day?
- Previous experience (what conditions he lived in as a child; what he was interested in, and what was very important to him and his family).
- Guy's hobbies
- Job
- Favorite books, films or music.
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Stay up to date. If you have time to read or watch the news, you will have more things to talk about in your head. Keep up with social events, funny clips from comedy shows, or funny stories from the Internet. If the conversation dies down, ask your boyfriend about something he's heard or read recently. If he is aware of the news, you can voice your opinion. If not, now is the perfect time to bring the guy up to speed.
Talk about the expected circumstances. If you had to choose between blindness and deafness, which would you choose? Would you like to exist alone, eating spinach and listening to Christmas carols for eight hours a day for the rest of your life? Try to find interesting, fun or challenging situations and ask your boyfriend what he likes best. When he answers, ask him to justify his opinion.
- Get into an argument. Provide a point of view contrary to your boyfriend's to make him re-evaluate his opinion. Prove that you are trying to bring interest to the conversation and do not want to argue with the guy at every turn.
- A few more hypothetical situations: “What thoughts keep you up at night?” “If you had the opportunity to live your life over again, what would you change?” “What can you not live without?” (or “If you were forced to keep only 10 items, what would they be?”)
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Ask the guy to tell you something you don't know. He may talk about himself, or simply give an example that you have not heard of. Whatever it is, you will definitely learn something. If you want to go into detail, ask the guy to tell you about his hobby.
- Nostalgia is good for you. Ask your boyfriend about his first memories, first day of school, first toy, or first memorable birthday. This is a great way to find out what happened in your boyfriend's life and what kind of kid he was.
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Ask unusual questions. In response, you will receive funny, entertaining statements and you will be in a good mood. For example: “Do you still believe in Santa Claus?”, “If you had to choose between TV and the Internet, which would you give up?” or “If there were no clocks in the world, how would we live?” Keep the conversation positive and cheerful. There are no wrong answers here!
- Tell your boyfriend a couple of jokes and laugh with him (if the guy has a good sense of humor).
-
Give compliments. Tell him why you liked a particular date. For example, you could say, "I loved it when you invited me to dinner at the restaurant. It was so beautiful and made me feel special."
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Discuss the future. Talk about what you would like to do one day. Maybe you would like to visit the island of Crete, become a stage star, write a novel, or live on a ship. Ask what he dreams of doing in the future. Here are some sample topics:
- When a guy wanted to go to school
- What did he want to study
- Where would he like to live
- Where would he like to visit
- Possible hobbies
- What kind of job would a guy like to have in the future?
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Play the game. It could be a board game, an online game, or a video game, your choice. If you're competing with each other, you can gently chit-chat or tease your boyfriend. If you are on the same team, you can discuss strategy and gameplay. Try classic examples:
- Chess
- Checkers
- "Scrabble"
- Race
- Card game "Egyptian Rat Screw"
- Board game "Sorry".
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Be an active listener. The art of communicating with another person involves active listening, which encourages a person to have longer conversations. Show your boyfriend that you are genuinely interested in what he has to say by acknowledging that he is right. Use affirmative sentences and positive body language during conversations. Summarize what you were told so that the guy understands that his words are understood and accepted.
- If your relationship is just beginning and there are a lot of pauses in the conversation, try to keep the conversation to an hour and no more at first. Excessive talking can turn the freshness of a relationship into misunderstanding and boredom.
- Let the guy know that you are still interested in talking. Conversations on trivial topics can quickly turn into silence.
- Be yourself and don't pretend. If you try to be perfect around a guy, you'll be a lot more nervous. Remember that the guy chose you for who you really are.
- If you make jokes towards your boyfriend, make sure that your jokes do not lead to confusion. This tone of conversation can lead to awkward silence or a negative impression.
- Be yourself. Express your thoughts honestly.
- Be yourself around your guy.
- If you are a shy, modest girl, show your guy that you love him and he will understand.
- Just relax. This guy is your boyfriend first and foremost. Even if you run out of things to talk about, the awkward silence will disappear much faster if you realize this.
- Never tell a guy that you don't deserve him because he's too good for you. Better tell him you appreciate him!
- If the silence drags on and you have nothing else to talk about, suggest playing a game of Truth or Dare. This game will quickly liven up a boring conversation!
- Always tell your boyfriend how you feel.
- Hold the guy's hand while talking. This gesture makes the conversation easier in some cases.
Warnings
- Don't lie just to find something to talk about.
- Forget about your past relationships! If you constantly talk about your ex-boyfriends, your boyfriend will feel awkward, especially if you praise or blame them. He will become curious about how there is still a place for him in your brain. Plus, guys don't like being compared to others.
- Never use the phrase “I love you” to continue a conversation. Express your feelings only when you are completely ready to do so. Your boyfriend will feel embarrassed by your words if they were said to fill the silence.
- Topics to avoid if your relationship is just beginning: marriage, children, expensive gifts and hostility towards the guy’s family. Be careful when it comes to your future together. Only talk about it when you both realize that you mean a lot to each other.
- Never praise or gossip about your friends. It looks bad from the outside.
- Don't complain or whine to keep the conversation going. Nobody will tolerate this for long. If this behavior becomes a habit, it will demonstrate a lack of self-confidence and a need to upset people just because you have nothing nice to say.
Ask what topics your boyfriend is interested in. As a rule, people most like to talk about themselves and their interests. Why? And all because they understand this well and have already thought about everything. Here are some common questions:
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Save topics for conversation with a girl, they will definitely be useful to you. You've run out of topics to talk about, are you embarrassed or don't know what to talk about with a pretty girl? There are topics for conversation that will not only help you not get bored, but will also bring you closer together. 110 interesting topics for conversation with a girl.
Silence is golden. But this is the only gold that girls don't like. What can you talk about with a girl in order to get closer and not get bored? There are many questions and ideas to talk about. Themes are suitable for a walk, a conversation in a cafe, alone or for any other place. These topics will show you as an extraordinary and interesting interlocutor. In any conversation, it is more important to listen than to talk. Then the girl will be crazy about you.
1. What is your sexiest body part?
2. Describe yourself in three words?
3. Do you trust your head or your heart more?
4. What was your childhood like?
5. What lifts your spirits?
6. What are you proud of?
7. What makes you laugh the most?
8. What are you most passionate about and what sparks your interest?
9. What are you talented at?
10. What kind of sport attracts you?
11. What place or country do you want to go to?
12. What things would you take with you to a desert island?
13. What's the creepiest thing you've ever done?
14. Who is your best friend or girlfriend?
15. What is your favorite movie?
16. The best and unforgettable trip?
17. Who is closest to you in your family?
18. Favorite alcoholic drink? And did you get drunk as hell?
19. What are you most afraid of?
20. What do you remember most from childhood or the past?
21. What is your favorite smell and aroma?
22. Where would you like to live most?
23. What qualities do you look for in your other half?
24. What stupid things have you done in your life?
25. What is your strongest character trait?
26. Who are you grateful to in life?
27. Which of the five senses would you be willing to lose?
28. What is the most important decision you have made in your life?
29. How did you spend the last 24 hours on earth?
30. What do people not know about you?
31. What do you like to do on the weekend?
32. Do you love the sea, mountains or forests more?
33. What does an ideal date look like?
34. Are you a conflicted person?
35. How do you see yourself in 5 years?
36. What do you want to change about yourself?
37. When do you feel vulnerable and what makes you so?
38. In what time and under what civilization would you like to live?
39. Favorite memory?
40. Do you have a mentor and main adviser in life?
41. What is your favorite book, quote, joke, movie or song?
42. Does your zodiac sign characterize you?
43. What do you want to do before you die and what are your plans?
44. Biggest regret?
45. Could you survive in prison and what would it be like?
46. How many children do you dream of having?
47. What do you want to fix in life?
48. What is your relationship with God?
49. Do you like to dance?
50. Favorite pet?
51. What do you like about men physically and psychologically?
52. How do you understand love?
53. When was the last time you cried?
54. What do you think your family will look like?
55. What do you do on a bad day and in a bad mood?
56. Do you believe and trust people?
57. Have you kissed like an adult with your girlfriends?
58. Favorite genre of books?
59. Do you believe in miracles or fate?
60. Where do you feel at home?
61. What are your goals and plans for life?
62. If you were a man for one day, what would you do?
63. What should people know before meeting you?
64. Who did you dream of being when you were young?
65. What item from childhood is still with you?
66. What do you dislike most in life?
67. Which popular star would you marry?
68. What brings a smile and a good mood?
69. Do you like compliments, beauty?
70. Have you had any problems with the law and what did you do criminally?
71. What are you still ashamed of?
72. What super ability do you want to have?
73. Are you a morning person or a night owl?
74. How do you feel about politics and what is happening in the world?
75. Most important life lesson?
76. What have you never done, but really want to?
77. Favorite food, dish, drink, fruit, vegetable and sweet?
78. What lesson did you learn from your past relationship?
79. Do you consider yourself smart?
80. Are you a member of any organizations or movements?
81. What name would you like to have?
82. What is your worst and best character trait?
83. What does a dream vacation look like if you don't take money into account?
84. How do your friends think of you?
85. Do you believe in love at first sight?
86. What profession would you choose if you went back in time?
87. What are your parents like and how did they raise you?
88. Are you a driven person or do you like to lead?
89. Does friendship between opposite sexes exist?
90. What style of clothing appeals to you?
91. What's scary about the future?
92. Favorite artists, writers, musicians?
93. Do you follow passions and emotions?
94. Favorite fictional character?
95. What confuses you most in life and has there ever been such a moment?
96. Biggest fear?
97. What animal can you compare yourself to?
98. What is the best life advice you have received from others?
99. Who do you admire most?
100. What do you think about death?
101. What do you pay attention to first of all when meeting people?
102. Can you cook and what do you do best?
103. Do you consider yourself a strange person?
104. What turns you on and excites you?
105. Do you love yourself?
106. How would you spend a million dollars?
107. What is missing in your life?
108. What does your dream look like?
109. What makes you happy?
110. Will you kiss me now?
Save topics for conversation with a girl, they will definitely be useful to you.
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We've all been in a situation where you've just met someone and are trying to find common topics of conversation. This baffles many people, and that same awkward silence ensues.
website I found out what Internet users were talking about in order to quickly make friends with new acquaintances.
Ask a person a question from any field, to which he will need to find 3 different answers. For example, ask your interlocutor to name His 3 favorite foods, movies, or funniest childhood memories. This little exercise will not only help your friend feel more relaxed, but also help you get to know him better. It may sound a little childish, but it really works.
We can discuss How your day usually goes, what you like and don’t like about your job(people love to complain about their work, but it’s important not to overdo it with negativity). It is also always interesting to know why you chose this particular profession (childhood dreams, example of adults, etc.).
If you have the same profession, then consider it a great success, because it will be easy for you to find common topics.
It is difficult to find a person who does not love pets, especially cats and dogs. Some people will start talk passionately about your pets(maybe they will even show photos) , others talk about how they dream of having a four-legged friend. In an emergency, if you completely lose your communication skills, take out your smartphone and turn on YouTube. A sincere laugh at the habits of another cute cat will immediately break the ice between you and your interlocutor.
Even if it turns out that your interlocutor collects edged weapons, and you collect rare dolls, you will probably It will be interesting to discuss each other's passions. This is also a great opportunity to learn about different hobbies and perhaps find a new activity that you enjoy.
The number of people who have not seen a single episode of Game of Thrones can soon be counted on one hand. Therefore, if your interlocutor (and you, of course) watched a cult series, then topics for conversation will appear by themselves. Don't forget about famous films. After all cinema is the best source of collective memories. You can always talk about how much you cared about Mufasa from The Lion King or the fate of Jack and Rose from Titanic.
If the conversation doesn't go well, you can always turn to the childhood memories of your interlocutor. Ask what he was interested in, what he dreamed about, what subjects he liked or disliked most at school. The main thing is not to be overly persistent and avoid relationships with parents. Questions like these may be considered too personal.
Of course, there are no universal topics for conversation when communicating with a new acquaintance. But good manners, a sense of humor and the ability to listen to your interlocutor will always help you.
What do you prefer to talk about at the first meeting? Share in the comments!
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