Many girls are embarrassed to be relaxed in bed with their beloved man, considering some actions shameful. This shyness causes not only conflicts, but also separations.

The young man lacks fire, so he looks to the left, looking for a more relaxed girl. Women should have long ago recognized the fact that intimate relationships between loving people play an important role. This should be especially remembered by girls who have a temperamental man.

Such a man should not be associated with an animal who only needs sex; it is not their fault (temperamental men) that their nature has more than endowed them with testosterone. By the way, wasn’t this what initially attracted the girl? Temperamental men have always been at a premium.

Girls should at least admit to themselves that they also really like sex, but all sorts of complexes interfere with enjoying it: a protruding tummy, cellulite on the butt, small breasts, etc. I can go on forever, I’m also a woman. But now, despite all the shortcomings, albeit small, I am open with my husband in bed. I will share my experience on how I came to this.

How to become relaxed in bed?

1. Admit that he likes you

Men's psychology is different from women's. This woman can love “fragmentarily” - beautiful hands, butt, facial features. Cynical women love men's wallets, but I'm not talking about them today. Men love differently. They love completely and completely.

If he invited you on a date, then rest assured, he considered that your breasts are not very large, that you have extra pounds, and other little things. But if he continues to ask you out on dates, that means he's okay with it.

And now you have to realize that it’s not about weight, and not about the beauty of your eyes and fullness of your lips, but about the ability to present yourself. This sounds a little cynical, but such is our life - you can make an impression with good manners, the ability to conduct a conversation, and dress with taste. Looking good is your way to strengthen your self-esteem and become more relaxed in bed.

2. Looseness in bed and appearance

Underwear

First of all, you should remember that underwear plays a very important factor, both in increasing self-esteem and in “pleasing men’s eyes.” There is even a widespread aphorism about this: “beautiful underwear is like a higher education - no one sees it, but it invisibly increases your status.”

Wearing beautiful underwear makes a woman happier and more confident. So don’t skimp and buy beautiful panties, bras, belts, stockings. By the way, if your boyfriend has a good sense of humor and you are used to walking around the apartment in your underwear, then you can buy panties with the now popular comic inscriptions.

In general, underwear is a woman’s calling card and increases her self-esteem.

Cosmetics

It is very important to take time to do your makeup. You should not wear flashy makeup or brightly colored lips. Men like it when women's lips are painted with scarlet lipstick, but they are not particularly drawn to kissing such women.

Men have a very biased attitude towards lipstick. They are annoyed when women's lipstick remains on their lips; they dislike its taste and feel. And they love to kiss.

Therefore, you can choose some neutral gloss with some fruity scent. So you won’t be embarrassed by staining your man with bright lipstick, and he will enjoy kissing moisturized, “tasty” lips.

Perfume

Don't forget that you should always smell good. Each of us has instincts that drive us unconsciously. We have a special reaction to smell. You should always have a pair of French perfumes on your dressing table.

Just don’t forget that perfume should be used carefully; the aroma should only leave a trail, and not a cloying, intrusive smell. The proverb “Less is better” is appropriate here.

This was the second rule, the first concerned the fact that if a young man is with you, it means he likes everything about you, and accordingly, you can feel free, without thinking about your little shortcomings.

3. How to become relaxed in bed? Gradually!

Liberation should be achieved gradually. If your young man likes sex in the light, then you shouldn’t immediately turn on the seven-light chandelier and feel like you’re on an operating table. Simply light a few candles or turn on a night light, preferably with dim red lighting.

For men, the highest manifestation of the fact that sex with him gives you fabulous pleasure is a woman’s emotions, in other words, moans. By the way, if you are not embarrassed to express your emotions in this way, then sex will bring you more pleasure.

Don’t restrain yourself if the sweetness of kisses makes you want to moan. It's not shameful, it's wonderful. Therefore, an important factor in sex is the expression of emotions. Foreplay is an integral part of the sexual process, and the longer it lasts, the more relaxed you begin to feel.

You can first have dinner together by candlelight. I am against alcohol, but if it is not alien to you, then you can drink a glass of white wine or champagne. Any other alcoholic drinks, such as cognac, red wine, should be excluded.

These drinks will not make you feel a little lighter, but on the contrary, you will want to sleep. And white wine or champagne relaxes you. Just don’t get carried away, one glass is enough.

As strange as it may sound, having sex also requires intelligence. As they say there, “Having sex with a smart woman is not only pleasant, but also interesting.” A smart woman is more relaxed in bed and more creative.

And by the way, men like to talk after sex. Even Napoleon, when he instructed his servant to bring him a woman for love pleasures, his mandatory requirement was that the young lady be smart. When the servant asked him a question - “For what?”, he answered - “And to talk between...”.

So, intelligence in a woman is still very much valued. Of course, smart men. Is this the kind of man you need?

4. Trust and sex

To be relaxed in bed, you need a man you trust. You can ask him to help you loosen up, or to be more tolerant of your embarrassment. Tell him directly that you're a little shy. Believe me, this will not make him love you less (rather the opposite).

In general, it is very important to talk with a man about sex, ask what he likes, share your impressions of what you like, what you should focus on, and what you should avoid. And there is nothing shameful in discussing such sensitive issues.

Are you discussing the menu, what will you eat for breakfast, lunch and dinner? Why do you think discussing sexual relationships is shameful? After all, sex is an integral part of family life and there should be no understatement here. And if something worries you, be sure to tell your partner about it.

And love for your partner in bed is also very liberating. If you sincerely love your chosen one, then you will want him to always feel good with you. By the way, a woman’s relaxedness helps a man prolong sexual intercourse and make it better.

5. Sports as a means to become relaxed in bed

Another important point. A woman should be flexible and graceful, this is what distinguishes her from the “clumsiness” of a man. If you don’t have grace, sign up for aerobics, oriental dancing, fitness, swimming. This will also be a wonderful hobby, it will improve your health, raise your self-esteem and, as a result, make you more relaxed.

Everything in our life is quite simple, and all failures live inside us. You need to kill them, you need to step over them if you want to become happy. And sex is a kind of happiness, naturally, when it is with the man you love.

Photo: depositphotos.com

Shyness cannot be called a bad character trait, but it interferes with adequate behavior in society. Therefore, it is necessary to select effective methods and think about how to overcome shyness. In earlier times, values ​​were very different from those that are important now. For a long period of time, it was believed that shyness was an indicator of good upbringing. Blushing has been extolled by poets and artists.

However, a lot has changed in modern life. The accelerated pace, high standards and numerous aspirations have broken previous stereotypes. A person must be confident in himself and in his abilities.

How to overcome your shyness and shyness

There are many ways to combat this quality. Much depends on the cause of shyness and its manifestation. First of all, you need to figure out what causes shyness?

For some people, it manifests itself when praise or gratitude is addressed to them, others become shy in the company of unfamiliar young people. The degree of shyness is also of great importance. If its manifestation is insignificant and not obvious, then there is no problem. However, if a character trait manifests itself too clearly, you should work on yourself.

In order to get rid of shyness, you need to do more often what causes timidity and sometimes fear. Avoid unfamiliar companies? Great! This is what you need! You should not plunge headlong and run to the first nightclub you come across. You need to start gradually. Do not refuse to meet with friends if you know that a stranger will be in the company. Think about the fact that he won’t know many people and this will make things even more difficult for him. Talk to him, be friendly, and modesty will disappear.

If you feel shy about speaking, ask your boss to give a presentation at the next meeting. To overcome shyness, you should not ask for seminars or presentations. Start by speaking in front of people you know. Everything must be done gradually. At home, rehearse your report in front of the mirror, read it out loud and retell it several times. This will relieve you of the need to be afraid that during the report you will forget about the main thing. A regular cheat sheet will be an excellent help.

Make an effort, work on yourself, then soon the time will come when the results will be obvious.

Overcoming Shyness

Shy people find it difficult to achieve great results in life. Therefore, people with this character trait should seriously think about how to deal with their shyness. Sometimes it can be really difficult to get over yourself, but in most cases it is possible and necessary.

In order for not a trace of shyness to remain, you need to move towards your goal step by step. And the steps are not so few.

Don't like to communicate? Necessary!

Shy people often avoid communication, especially when it comes to large or unfamiliar groups. To overcome shyness, you need to enroll in a sports club, regularly attend training, educational courses depending on your interests, go to discos and nightclubs.

Don't expect it to be easy right away. There will definitely be mistakes in communication, but no one is immune from them. It's all about dealing with mistakes. They are needed only in order to learn from them and forget, throw them in the trash. It’s worth stopping yourself from thinking about mistakes for a long time and dwelling on it.

Practice in communication

At many trainings, he advises to communicate more often with strangers. If you want to overcome your shyness, you can ask for advice on shopping in a store or ask a passerby what is the best transport to get to a certain place. You should smile, be polite and appear at ease. People will respond in kind.

Listen to those who are nearby

Listening is a great quality. This is easy to do even if you have no ability to speak. People always love those who listen to them. This does not mean that there is no need to have a couple of routine topics, because any conversation can fade away. However, listening is always useful.

Love criticism

Many shy people are very suspicious, so they consider not-so-successful jokes or remarks directed at them to be offensive. To overcome shyness, in this case you need to learn to distinguish criticism from anger. An angry person trying to humiliate does this in order to attract attention to himself. This means that they don’t know how to do it otherwise. Such people are stupid, uneducated and have a lot of complexes. You shouldn’t be offended by such people, you can only feel sorry for them. For this reason, criticism is often fair. You need to pay attention to it. Criticism can make a sane person better.

Do not rush

You should not rush things and worry that the planned results have not yet been achieved. If a person has already thought about how to deal with his shyness and has done at least something for this, then over time he will achieve the goals he has set for himself.

Working on yourself is an important part of every person’s life.

How to become more relaxed in communication

Although they say that modesty adorns a person, it is very difficult for a modest and shy person to find his place in life, find a decent and interesting job, establish relationships with the opposite sex, and occupy a high position in society. How to become more relaxed so that communication with others does not cause fear and discomfort, and you can express your thoughts, views and desires without hesitation.

A relaxed and liberated person makes it easier to establish contact with others, they listen to him, and want to see him in their company. Relaxed people are not afraid to show their emotions, which is why they are more successful in business and love.

Here are a few ways to become more relaxed, overcome shyness, and become more talkative and sociable.

Don't focus all your attention on yourself. The conversation will go much more lively if you don’t think about every word you say, choose the correct expressions, trying to attract as little attention to yourself as possible. Shy people are afraid of appearing stupid. If you behave naturally, no one will consider it stupid and bad manners. If you want to become more relaxed, think not about the impression you make or how you look, but about the topic of conversation.

To become more relaxed, try to communicate with other people as much as possible. Don’t whisper, actively participate in the conversation, ask questions, keep the conversation going, express your opinion.

To overcome shyness, it will be better if during a conversation you accompany your words with facial expressions and gestures. In this case, the interlocutor will see that the conversation is interesting for you, and you should not hide your gaze during communication. To enhance contact, you can call your interlocutor by name.

To make your movements more relaxed, you should start taking dance lessons. Owning your body will increase your self-esteem and self-confidence.

Show your friendliness by smiling to appear more relaxed.

If you have to speak in public, prepare your speech in advance and practice it in front of a mirror. Maintain volume and tempo while speaking.

How to learn to be relaxed with the opposite sex? If you are embarrassed to talk to a man and blush, this may make him feel awkward in return. Therefore, you can admit that you are embarrassed, but you still should not avoid communication. If you want to become more relaxed, at first just keep the conversation going, listening carefully to the other person. Once you get to know each other better, the stiffness in the relationship will go away on its own.

Some people, when they find themselves in an unfamiliar environment, become tense and shy. This leads to the fact that communication becomes incomplete, there is no pleasure from it, and such a person strives to quickly get away from communication and get rid of unpleasant emotions. This problem is especially relevant for girls, so they often wonder how to become liberated. To loosen up, there is a set of special exercises.

Why are people shy?

The main reason why people cannot liberate themselves is their upbringing. From an early age, parents tell us what is good and what is bad. But a child does stupid things and pranks because he is exploring the world, trying to learn to live in it. This desire of parents to protect the child from various troubles, excessive attention, leads to the fact that instead of learning about the world, he receives some kind of social norms and ideas about how to behave. For example, many girls are told that they shouldn’t be the first to meet someone, it’s bad. As a result, the girl does not know how to behave with the young man she likes, how to build a conversation with him, and so on. This, in turn, can lead to the girl remaining lonely.

The second most common reason why people are shy and don’t know how to loosen up is their social circle. If most friends are uncommunicative, withdrawn, rarely share news and experiences, then the person himself becomes closed and prefers loneliness. Therefore, when such a person finds himself in an unfamiliar company, he cannot behave relaxed, gets lost and begins to experience discomfort.

The problem of how to become liberated is dealt with by psychology. By emancipation, this science understands the ability to behave and feel naturally in an unfamiliar environment, the ability to easily make contact and establish communication. To become more relaxed or liberated, psychologists recommend regularly doing the following:

• Write the phrase “I’m not embarrassed by anyone” on a piece of paper and read it as often as possible. Gradually, this text will become familiar, and certain changes in behavior will occur.
• It is necessary to determine your qualities because of which a person is shy. This could be appearance, voice, behavior, and so on. Next, you should consider whether they can be changed and how to do this. In such a situation, it is also worth consulting with loved ones. It may well turn out that your own assessment does not correspond to the external one, and in fact, there is nothing to be ashamed of.
• It is recommended to pay attention to your appearance. At the same time, you should not focus on different standards or fashion, the main thing is that you like the reflection in the mirror. An impeccable, from her own point of view, appearance makes a girl self-confident, and therefore more relaxed.

In an unfamiliar environment, you should spend some time studying it and observing people. After it becomes clear what interests others, behavior patterns are determined, you can enter into communication, because the person is already ready for it.

The first thing experts recommend working on is posture. A straight back and a proudly raised head create the impression that a person is confident in himself. However, many of those who are shy do not have correct posture, believing that by hunching over they can hide. Therefore, before going to an unfamiliar place, in order to feel more confident, you should work on your posture. The simplest exercise is to stand with your back to the wall so that your calves, thighs, shoulder blades and the back of your head touch it. You need to stay in this position for as long as possible. You should do the exercise until correct posture becomes habitual.

The second recommendation on how to become more relaxed in communication is to develop a sense of humor. If suddenly a girl makes an awkward situation, or does not understand what this or that sign means in a company or at an event, you can treat it with humor and ask someone for advice, citing the fact that she was recently abroad and managed to forget her native one language.

Also, during the communication process, you should look your interlocutor in the eyes (this skill needs to be practiced), and speak with sincere emotions. If the interlocutor sees a specific interest, he will support the conversation, become friendly towards the person and this will add emancipation.

Some exercises for relaxation

To liberate yourself, you can regularly perform the following exercises:

Autotraining

Standing in front of the mirror, you need to repeat: “I am charming,” “I am attractive,” “I am kind,” and so on. This emancipation exercise increases self-confidence and internal self-esteem. The main thing is to believe in the qualities that are discussed in front of the mirror.

To make it easier to communicate in an unfamiliar environment, you can rehearse possible dialogues when preparing for an event. To do this, you should imagine a possible interlocutor and think about how to build a dialogue with him.

One of the most famous techniques on how to become more relaxed in a conversation is to imagine that the interlocutor is naked. This technique is often used by those who speak in public and begin to feel awkward. Imagining everyone naked does a psychological trick on the mind - it creates the feeling that everyone around is awkward, which means everyone is in the same position. As a result, the situation is relieved and communication becomes easier.

Acting techniques

If you can’t overcome barriers and pressures on your own, you can sign up for emancipation training. In addition to the theoretical part, which explains the meaning of the word “liberation”, the reasons why people have tension, psychological types in communication, and so on, real skills are developed there that allow you to make yourself more liberated. Most often, various techniques used by actors are used for this. For example,:

• Tension and subsequent relaxation of certain muscle groups;
• Gradual redistribution of tension throughout the body;
• Imagining oneself as mercury.

These exercises allow you to relax the body and relieve certain muscle tension. A relaxed body, in turn, allows you to be more relaxed in an unfamiliar environment. In addition, in addition to exercises to relax the body, such trainings teach public speaking, not to be afraid of the public, and how to play different roles. As a result of such an event, the person will become more liberated, gain inner harmony and freedom.

Some people find it difficult to be in an unfamiliar environment, they get lost, close down and experience a lot of problems and inconveniences as a result. To be more relaxed, you need to follow a few simple recommendations - work on your posture, prepare for events and develop a sense of humor. If this doesn’t work out, you can always sign up for special trainings, the results of which will be noticeable after a few sessions. People become more open and confident.

To be sexually confident means to be the master of your sexuality, to be able to make the right decisions on your own, and to respect your needs and desires. Sexual liberation is expressed differently for different people; for everyone this path is individual and unique. To become confident in yourself, you need to move away from the stereotypes that society imposes on people and confront negative thoughts about sexuality that you may have.

Steps

Part 1

Learn as much as you can about safe sex. To be sexually literate, it is important to know about the possible unwanted consequences of sex and how to protect yourself from them. The more you know about sex, the more options you'll have when it comes time to make the right decision.

Learn about your rights. In many countries, by law, a person has the right to give or not consent to any sexual acts performed towards him. If someone violates this right and forces you to have sex without your consent, it is considered rape.

• You don't have to do anything you don't like, no matter how much your partner wants you to. Being sexually liberated and literate means being able to make decisions that are best for you.
• In many countries, the law protects any person not only from unwanted sex. If someone touches you in a way that makes you uncomfortable, you also have the right to say no. Statements of a sexual nature addressed to you that are unpleasant to you will also be an act of encroachment on your personal integrity.
• If you have been sexually assaulted or raped, never assume that it is your fault. No matter what you wore or how you acted, you did not ask to be attacked.

1. Be able to recognize gender stereotypes. Gender stereotypes are society's views on how individuals or different genders should look or act. These ideas are mostly not true and can cause a lot of harm to those who do not fit into the framework of “correct” behavior and “correct” appearance. Many people are taught these beliefs as children, so it's important to challenge what you know (or think you know) about gender roles.

   • Such stereotypes create beliefs that people should only be attracted to members of the opposite sex, or that the man should always be the one in charge in heterosexual relationships.
   • It is important to be able to see double standards in such gender stereotypes and independently form your own opinion about them. A simple example: a man having a large number of sexual partners is often welcomed, while a woman with the same number of sexual partners is likely to be universally condemned for being “promiscuous.”
   • Those people who do not fit into the Procrustean bed of traditional gender stereotypes often feel rejected and misunderstood. If you are in a similar situation, look for support among like-minded friends and loved ones, or start attending a thematic support group. For example, there are many support groups and hotlines for LGBT people.

2. Understand what free choice itself is all about. You don't have to be sexually active to be considered sexually liberated and literate. This path is individual for each person, and the most important thing here is that only you decide what you can and cannot do with your body. If you choose not to be sexually active, then that is your choice and you should not let anyone talk you into doing something you don't want to do.

Part 2

Accept your body and learn to love it. Many men and women are embarrassed about their bodies, and some have not even seen some parts of their bodies! To become sexually liberated, you need to learn to look at your body and love it.

Understand for yourself that sexual attraction is the norm. It is completely natural to feel sexual desire and you should accept it. If it weren't for sex, we wouldn't be here now! If you feel shame or guilt about being sexually attracted, understand that no one has a real reason to make you feel that way.

1. Be the master of your gender identity and sexual orientation. People may be discriminated against for not fitting gender stereotypes or for not being heterosexual. Of course, it is very difficult to resist such discrimination and accept ourselves as we are, but it is very important to become sexually liberated.

   • Don't let others dictate your role in the relationship and tell you who you should be attracted to. This is solely and entirely your decision.

2. Don't take criticism to heart. Many cultures, religions and people judge those who do not fit into their norms of behavior. If others do not accept you, you will have to face many difficulties on the path to sexual liberation. Finally, you will have to make a choice: conform to generally accepted norms or ignore everyone who does not accept you because of your views.

   Part 3

   How to become the master of your sexuality?

   1. Maintain control of the situation. For sexual intercourse of any kind to be your initiative, the choice must be made by you. If someone forces you to do something, you become the object of that action, not the master of the situation.

      • If you feel pressured by a particular person or society in general to perform a sexual act, you no longer have power. For a choice to become a result, a manifestation of your power over the situation, it must be voluntary.
      • Remember that you always have the right to say no as soon as an act you previously agreed to becomes unacceptable to you.

   2. Form your own ideas about sexual confidence. Everyone has their own opinion on this issue. What some find confidence in, others see as objectification. Because of these variations, you need to take time to decide what you personally consider sexual liberation and confidence.

      • Your decisions about sex should always be based on your own ideas about sexual confidence. Just because you want to be sexually confident and liberated does not mean that you should have many sexual partners. It just means that you can make those choices if you want and not feel guilty about them. However, if you feel physical discomfort while doing this, you are unlikely to feel confident.
      • In addition to deciding for yourself what your sexual preferences are, you will need to decide whether you want to show off your body. For example, some women feel confident striking sexual positions and dancing in a seductive manner, while others do not feel that such behavior gives them power over the situation.

   3. Talk to your partner about your desires. When you enter into a sexual relationship, you should talk to your partner about your sexual desires and preferences. If you both understand what the other needs, you will be more likely to both be satisfied with the sexual experience.

      • Don't be shy about telling your partner what you don't like.
      • Remember that your pleasure is just as important as your partner's, and no one should be satisfied at the expense of the other.
      • Never demand something categorically or threaten your partner in any way. He or she also deserves to have power over his or her sexuality, and you should not get your needs met at the expense of your partner's needs.
   • Always respect yourself and remember that you deserve the respect of others.
   • You are likely to meet people who disagree with you on issues of sexual confidence, liberation and literacy. They have a right to their opinion, but don't let them make you feel guilty about your decisions.

   All this is not surprising. Human sexuality has long been taboo. Women's - especially. Stereotypes and taboos, embedded in our culture many centuries ago, have not gone away; they have acquired more modern counterparts and spoil the lives of healthy, sexually active girls.

   Insufficiently active - frigid. Too active - a whore. Cum vaginally. Cum quickly. Always be ready. But don't push. Be active. Be submissive. Dress seductively. But not like a whore.

   Instructions about where this line is, which of the requirements are justified and how to combine everything in oneself, society, mothers, friends, ourselves, are not given either at birth or upon reaching puberty.

   Is it any wonder that many girls (and quite mature women too) are embarrassed by sincere expressions of their sexuality. Many people do not even suspect that they have these manifestations - they are buried so deeply. Of course, there are simply people with a very weak libido. It's not about them. We are talking about ladies who want sex, love sex, but when it comes down to it, they become stiff or claim an Oscar for the role of an ice statue.

   The phrase “don’t be a log”, seasoned with an invigorating slap, is a bad motivator.

   Let's talk about the good ones.

   Don't write off your injury

   It's one thing when a girl is slightly tense. Another is if in the past she experienced severe trauma that affected her sexuality. Not necessarily rape, although this cannot be ruled out either.

   The stigma of the victim and the attraction called “it’s your own fault” is the plague of our culture, and victims often do not admit this even to their loved ones.

   Maybe she had a bad first (or second, or last before you) experience. Former partners who systematically did not take her wishes into account, or worse, shamed her for them, devalued her. And she closed herself off to avoid the pain of rejection.

   You can only start if you are close and confident in your ability to comfort the girl after and during such a conversation. Start carefully so that the words do not sound like reproach or accusation from any angle, for example:

   It seems to me that it is not easy for you to open up with me in bed. I don’t know how your previous partners treated you, but I love you, and it’s important to me that you feel good with me. Let's talk about this because I don't want to accidentally hurt you.

   But if you love a girl, it's worth it. She may not become a depraved, unashamed sex bomb, but over time there will be progress.

   Bring it to the boiling point

   Now about the pleasant things. If we are talking about simple shyness, maybe you you're in too much of a hurry.

   There comes a moment in the sine wave of desire when even quite shy people don’t care. If the flesh is on fire, standing and shuffling your feet is no longer so fun.

   Drive her crazy- with kisses, hands, words, tongue. Just don’t perceive this as slave labor or a necessary evil that you need to do in order to finally get to something tasty: the girl was not born yesterday either and will understand that you are here “under the lash.”

   Enjoy every caress, every touch. Catch her moans, drink them, see how and what she reacts to. If you know how to listen to a woman and sincerely get involved in the process, at some point she herself will tear off the rest of your clothes.

   Provide a suitable environment

   Light a million candles, scatter rose petals on the bed and let I will always love you no need to repeat. I'm talking about the basic one, which consists of three components:

   1. Privacy.
   2. Convenience.
   3. Mood.

   Privacy means that you are alone in the apartment and no one will bother you. There is a non-illusory chance that the girl is squeezed because, for example, your younger brother is sleeping behind a thin wall and she is afraid to traumatize his fragile psyche with her cries of ecstasy. Replace your brother with your grandmother, parents, housemate - the essence is the same. Even if such proximity makes you neither hot nor cold and you are sure that they don’t care, but their feelings (like yours) do not play a role in this matter. It should also be comfortable for your partner.

   Convenience is normal surface for sex (no exotic, the bed is just that), cleanliness and comfort. A mess is distracting, especially if the girl is a neat person, and the smell of the day before yesterday's pizza does not work as an aphrodisiac. All necessary supplies such as a condom or towel should be at the ready.

   I think the mood is clear. If one or both participants are tired, irritated, or don’t want anything today, you can, of course, have sex, but it will take an amount of effort disproportionate to the result. Sex through “I can’t” - do you need it?

   Give her full control

   This technique sometimes works: when the shy one suddenly realizes that all the power is in her fragile hands, she blossoms. Lie down on the bed and say:

   Do whatever you want with me.

   It is unlikely that she will try anything truly naughty, so discussing your taboos in advance will most likely not be necessary. If something happens, don’t twitch. Just say that you are not ready for this yet.

   Use gadgets

   Let's say you tried to talk to a girl about what she likes, but as soon as the conversation moves in a dangerous direction, she instantly clenches her teeth.

   Workaround - communicate by text. Through Skype or SMS, many things (vulgarities - not least) are easier to say. Try flirting with a girl like this throughout the day. First, tell her what you want to do with her, how you want to satisfy her, and ask for feedback.

   Do you like it that way?

   Do you want to try this?

   When contact is established, ask what she wants to do with you. If there are successes in the text world, they can be carefully transferred to live communication.

   Use gadgets

   Does the girl have a favorite vibrator? Ask her to take the toy with her to bed. If not, buy it as a gift or give a certificate to a sex shop so that she can choose what suits her liking and body.

   If she is not yet ready to use toys in sex with you, let her buy it anyway and practice solo. Masturbation is often the key to a woman's locked-in sexuality because helps to her get to know your body better: what she likes, what she doesn’t like, what orgasms she has and how they feel. Many girls generally thought that they did not experience orgasm until they picked up a suitable vibrator.

   Don't praise - admire

   When you see some progress of a girl, say, she stopped holding back her moans or took the initiative into her own hands, although she had not done this before, you may be tempted to praise her. This is, of course, good, but there is an even better option. Admire! Now I'll show you the difference.

   Praised:

   It's great that you can't hold back your moans.

   Well done for agreeing to do this in the light.

   Admired:

   When you moan, it blows my mind.

   I love looking at you, seeing all of you.

   That's why it's better to admire.

   Firstly, praise often, by its very wording, emphasizes the negative and contains an assessment: “You’re great, that...” And before, it turns out, you weren’t great?

   This puts you in the so-called parental position, because we receive the first praise from mom and dad. “Well done for getting an A.” Tell a child this enough times, and he may get the impression that if he stops being an excellent student, he will no longer be loved.

   It's the same here. Today the girl managed not to hold back her moans, but tomorrow she may not be able to. Let her know that in this case you will want and love her just as much.

   Secondly, admiration is easier to accept than praise. Shyness is often a symptom of other things, such as lack of self-confidence. And for insecure people, telling yourself “I’m great” and believing it can be very difficult.

   And third, praise puts the emphasis on her, while admiration puts the emphasis on you and your perception. What is so good about it? Shy people don't like having the spotlight pointed at them, figuratively speaking. Shifting Focus, you allow your partner to enjoy your admiration in a comfortable “darkness” from which she will come out when she wants.

   Ignore failures

   This is worth mentioning separately in continuation of the previous paragraph. If something doesn’t work out for a girl (she takes a long time to cum, is embarrassed to undress completely - it doesn’t matter) and she is really dear to you, under no circumstances don't focus on it. There is no stronger anti-aphrodisiac than the feeling that “something is wrong” with you - I’m sure you’ve encountered something similar, if not in sex, then in something else.

   Take my word for it, she already knows that she can’t cum for a long time. There can be a lot of reasons for this (like any other situation), and you will create another one if you direct the already mentioned spotlight there.

   Tired of doing something (cunnilingus, for example)? Just say, honey, I need a break, and do something else. Caress her with your hand, kiss her, or just lie down together and chat.

   If she doesn't want to completely undress, light candles and tell her that she will look stunning in stockings and underwear. Have sex with clothes on, after all. Hastily unbuttoned and half-taken off clothes have their own relish.

   With this approach, you yourself will be in a positive mood and relieve the girl from the pressure.

   ★ Bonus ★ How to help a guy relax

   Men can be shy and uptight too, and much more often than you think. Sorry if I broke someone's template.

   They may be afraid to open up, to trust, they may be embarrassed about their appearance (less often), their desires (more often). Finally, my emotions. Especially if these are “non-male” emotions (that is, everything except anger).

   The techniques described above, to one degree or another, applicable to men as well, especially the last two points. Admiration and patience open people up, show that they are wanted and accepted. That they are safe. That they won't be rejected.

   I think we all miss this.