The topic of theft is relevant in many families. Even the best-behaved children steal. This problem has been little studied; the fact of theft can be detected even in a prosperous family.

Parents' feelings: shock, embarrassment and shame are the first reaction. Often the problem is hushed up and hidden. The child is reproached, predicted to have a criminal future, or even subjected to physical punishment. In fact, in most cases it’s not that bad. It is the reaction of the older family members that directly determines whether the action will be repeated or not, and whether it will become entrenched in the mind of the little person.

At three years old, the baby begins to separate his “I” from his parents. Self-awareness and the understanding “mine is someone else’s” develops.

Age is proof that he understands the bad deed. Although there are cases when at five years old a baby is aware of his actions, but at seven he does not realize that he has appropriated someone else’s property. Everything is individual and requires close attention and qualified assistance.

Took an item without asking: reasons

Antisocial behavior is often found in irresponsible, weak-willed children who have not been instilled with values ​​and have not been explained the difference between their own and someone else’s. Don't forget, parents are the first teachers, and only after that is society.

If a son finds himself in bad company to prove his authority, he is capable of much. If at home there is no concern for his hobbies and problems and he is rejected, the child goes to seek solace on the street.

We understand the motives if a child steals both at school and at home

• The remorse is great, but the desire to possess someone else's is much stronger.
• Dissatisfaction - psychological and/or material. (Perhaps his ideas about what is necessary differ from yours.)
• Insufficient understanding of morality and willpower.

A person of any age is capable of committing an unlawful act. If he wants something very much, he can give in, justifying his own weakness, coming up with various excuses. Such thefts are isolated in nature and remain without consequences. The culprit suffers from remorse, hides it even from relatives, does not use the trophy - throws it away or hides it.

• If friendly and outspoken kids suddenly steal something, they especially need help. Through conversation, parents should eliminate material gain and revenge. The usual scenario: the child cannot explain why he did this. Relatives are upset that the culprit is deceiving. They expect and even demand repentance. But the more aggressive the methods, the thicker the wall, and the further you are from the truth. Often the problem of theft first appears at a very early age. Then the offender is punished without finding out why this happened. And at the age of 13-14 the situation worsens with renewed vigor.

Think about your own relationships, negative changes (divorce), hostility and coldness - everything affects your baby. Start with yourself, improve the atmosphere in your home. There is little desire to change your offspring; you need to pull yourself together, scream less and show more love.

• Revenge. Things go missing from classmates who are envied. Such “trophies” are hidden, there is no material gain. With the help of illegal actions, the student increases his importance in his own eyes. Of course, he is not popular at school. If you recognize your child at this point, praise him. For everything, for any good deed, praise him immensely, he lacks this. Establish trust. Do not set a material assessment for achievements, no money for grades. Your child lacks emotional intimacy and self-confidence, not money.
• Moral education. The culprit doesn't think about how upset others are and doesn't care about the possible consequences. This happens when the little person was not explained that he took it without asking and the owner will be very upset. It is useful to read and then discuss thematic fairy tales and stories. This is especially effective at 6-7 years old.

Under no circumstances leave him alone with his action, do not reproach him or deprive him of love. Let him know that everything can be fixed, give him a helping hand, teach him to be responsible, help him rehabilitate.

What to do if the thief is caught?

And if you are not caught, then do not blame, and even when caught red-handed, control your speech. Accusations, especially groundless ones, can create an inferiority complex; sometimes one incident is enough for this. Irreversible damage will be caused to his personality. Let your child know that he can fix everything, this will maintain his self-confidence.

After an offense, a continuation is expected, in every act theft is imagined, this pushes to new crimes. Misunderstanding and rejection by household members leads to bitterness. And the appropriation of things becomes not only revenge, but also a way to satisfy material needs.

Do not blame your child for theft, but calmly explain to him the full significance of the problem.

Features 7 years

Remember that children 5-7 years old are not criminals, they do not steal consciously - they just take. The child thinks she is entitled to everything she can get her hands on. Everything in this world is “mine” until members of the household show the boundaries of what is permitted. Children who are not told what is right do not feel guilty, only get relief from having what they want.

If you catch a child stealing at the age of 7, solve this problem with love and offer him your help. Reconsider your attitude, reassure her of love. Showing patience will help you resolve the problem faster.

For you, this is a sign that the student feels deprived, unloved, and the connection with his parents is weak. Love and recognition are the basic needs of every person. Their lack will entail serious problems with adaptation in society. The desire to be popular is much stronger than the fear of punishment. It is at the age of 6-7 that boys and girls become dependent on relationships with peers. For example, an offspring may win the favor of friends by buying them sweets and steal money from you. In this case, teach him to be friends, figure out how you can interest his classmates.

A friendly, trusting home atmosphere will help you cope with the problem faster

Features of adolescence

At 8, 9 and 10 years old, theft appears due to insufficiently developed willpower. He simply cannot resist, although there is shame for his actions. At the age of 8, children already have responsibility for themselves and become more independent. The desire to join a team and be in a group of peers is very strong. They feel deprived if their classmates have something they don't have. Then thefts occur because of the need to be “like everyone else” or to compete with comrades. In this case, the child can steal not only at home, but also in stores.

Tips for parents:

• Develop independence in your child, let your child set goals for himself and learn to achieve them.
• Give him more freedom, let him do what he can do.
• Discuss the family budget. Come to a compromise, for example, give up something in order to save up for something your child needs.
• Offer him your own income. For example, deliver newspapers or advertisements, help around the house for a couple of hours and get extra money for it.

Teenager

During adolescence, theft among children is highest. After all, it is during this period of life that many changes await them, physical, social and psychological. At this age, peer pressure (perhaps even coercion) is added to the reasons listed above.

In general, the situation with a teenager is much more serious than with children. It is not possible to forcibly protect him from a “bad” social circle, and persuasion can lead to the opposite result; he simply will not listen to you.

The ideal option is to create a social circle in early childhood. For example, these could be the children of your friends, classmates, or children with common interests. When you already have friends, you can unobtrusively get to know everyone. Invite them to visit, if possible, meet the parents.

If the situation gets out of control, cases of theft occur more often, and you notice other difficulties in communicating with your child - this is a reason to contact a specialist, a psychologist.

If the situation with a teenager begins to get out of control, you should immediately contact a psychologist

Prevention: what to do to prevent

As a preventative measure, the following will help:

• Confidential conversation- share your experiences, discuss problems.
• Focus your activity on interests - sports, drawing, photography. He will meet like-minded people in class and feel happy, busy and needed.
• Do unto others as you would have them do unto you - this is the golden rule for every person. It will teach you to empathize and think about the feelings of other people.
• At every age there should be responsibilities, within one’s ability, of course. You can be responsible for watering flowers or going to the store. It's up to you to decide, but gradually he will take on more and more responsibility.

No theft!

• Fear of punishment and sympathy for the victim deters many people from illegal actions. The most important moral lesson for our children is family. It is the behavior of loved ones, the own example of the mother and father, that teaches you to set priorities.
• Don't give in to anger- by doing this you deprive your baby of confidence, and in the future you will deprive him of normal relationships with people.
• Beatings, physical punishment, and even threats to turn them in to the police will harden and embitter the children, they will live in full confidence that they are vicious.
• Share responsibility, show that his actions upset you, but at the same time make it clear that you will not leave him in trouble. The best medicine is a heart-to-heart conversation, discussing your feelings.
• Get to the bottom, find out the real reasons for what is happening. There may be a serious problem behind what happened.
• Don't order, look for a way out together. Of course, what was stolen must be returned. But the offspring can count on your support. Take the item together, or, as a last resort, place it unnoticed by the owner.
• Temptation. Don't keep money in visible places. Learn how to properly manage your own funds.
• Praise for honesty. A child brought a lost toy - look for the owner. Tell us how happy the baby will be that she was returned. Make it clear that this is exactly the reaction you expected, there could be no other.

Lying: how to stop it

A lie is a sign of a crisis in trust between the beloved baby and the parents. You need to understand which need the baby is trying to satisfy with lies. This could be a developed imagination, lack of attention or fear of punishment, fear that parents will stop loving you.

The following steps will help you:

• Resolve the internal conflict, help correct the situation. Become an ally and teach them how to solve emerging problems.
• Don't try to control your child completely. Total control will make you want to pull away, protest and lie even more.
• Separate reality and fiction. Offer to compose a fairy tale together if your child has a wild imagination. Make sure he understands the difference between reality and fairy tales.
• Show everything by your own example. Don't make empty promises, don't lie. You are an example for your children, it’s good if it’s positive.
• Don't put pressure on your teenager, expand his personal boundaries. Give credit to trust. Let him feel independent.
• Theft and lies are different results of largely similar problems. They often accompany each other. In any case, both are serious signals for parents. Don’t let the situation take its course: you and your children have the right to be happy, self-sufficient people.

Make it a rule not to punish for telling the truth. Discuss the situation, explain what should have been done. Emphasize your unconditional love and willingness to help in any situation.

For advice from psychologists to parents when a child steals money from parents, watch the following videos.

The problem of theft is especially relevant today, when the media continually report on yet another million-dollar bribes taken by officials and ministers and their impunity. Theft is rampant in all echelons of government in the country. The reason for bureaucratic vice is not even the insatiable greed for money and things, but the absence of crime. There is no guilt, since the official did not steal, but took. He has the power - he also has the right to take as much as he needs. Vicious circle.

I am more interested in child theft, its causes and correction of the child’s behavior. Children who steal are mistakenly called kleptomaniacs. Kleptomania (the word “klepto” is translated from Greek as “I steal”, the word “mania” means “madness”) is a mental illness that manifests itself in an obsessive desire to steal things. This disease affects about 0.05% of people worldwide. Almost no cases of kleptomania in childhood have been recorded. There is only one conclusion: theft is not a disease, but bad upbringing.

What is the psychology of this disease? And should parents sound the alarm about this? Young children are not able to control their desires. Due to children's impulsiveness, they grab whatever they like. At the playground, my two-year-old nephew takes someone else's toy car and goes home with it. He takes a liking to the toy, and he is guided by the emotions that suddenly overwhelm him. This behavior has nothing to do with theft. It is difficult to explain the concepts of “yours” and “someone else’s” to a two- or three-year-old child, but it is important for parents to try to help the baby understand that this toy is someone else’s and cannot be taken.

Children of primary preschool age (4-5 years old) have a developed idea of ​​personal property, but the ability to evaluate their actions has not been formed. A strong desire to possess something provokes them to steal. A younger preschooler needs help from adults. This age is characterized by the same impulsiveness.

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Parents should discuss this negative act with their child and pay special attention to the feelings of the person who lost his favorite thing. It is important to convince the child that he needs to be ashamed of such actions and not behave like that again.

At the age of 6, a preschooler consciously begins to steal. He is driven by different motives: to take revenge on someone, to attract the attention of his peers... He is not afraid of parental punishment. He steals a book or toy to punish a peer for not letting him see it. A girl can give her mother’s jewelry to her friends to gain confidence in herself. Boy - give away daddy's money in the kindergarten. Having done something nice, the poor fellow waits for recognition from the children around him.

The reason for theft is low self-esteem and inability to communicate with peers. A six-year-old doesn't yet know how to make friends. In his opinion, a person is noticed only when he has something valuable. The task of parents is to give children an understanding of the concept of “friendship” and to teach the culture of communication through certain game situations.

In children aged 8-11 years, the volitional sphere is not sufficiently developed. They commit theft because they cannot cope with temptation. It is difficult for them to resist the desire to have someone else's thing. Of course, soon they will be ashamed of this unpleasant story. for theft at this age is meaningless. Strong-willed qualities need to be cultivated.

Teenagers aged 12-15 commit theft deliberately. At my school, teachers often lose money from their bags and pockets. It is interesting that children steal, both from low-income families and from “outwardly prosperous” families. In both cases, parents do not know how their children’s relationships with classmates and friends develop and what moral values ​​are embedded in them. The fact of theft at the age of 12-15 indicates the presence of a bad habit and lack of proper family education.

Adults can steal in front of a child and tell him about the need to be an honest person. It is possible to convince children of anything only if the deed does not differ from the word.

In the family of my friends, the parents do not feel shame for raising their son, declaring openly: “I gotcha, I told you, if you don’t know how, don’t steal.” With this statement they give him freedom of action. In the future, he will take every precaution to avoid being noticed. Conversation with children is effective in a healthy family where moral standards are respected. No amount of persuasion or punishment will help if parents lie or set a bad example.

• lack of consistency in upbringing (today we are strict, tomorrow we are weak);
• lack of moral principles;
• inconsistency of parental requirements;
• raising children in permissiveness;
• authoritarian parenting style.

Why does a child steal and what to do with him? Psychologists do not give an exact answer to this complex question. The actions of parents can be very different and they depend on the reason why he takes the wrong step.

Reasons for child theft:

• Childhood loneliness (lack of parental love);
• The opportunity to have a long-awaited toy;
• No pocket money;
• A way of self-affirmation in a group of peers;
• Imitating the bad example of parents;
• Extortion by high school students.

• Try to understand child psychology. Child theft is not a serious offense, but a problem that affects your child. This is, in a way, a signal that he is not all right in his relationship with the outside world or with you.
• Discuss the situation in a calm environment. Be tactful and do not start the conversation with the question: “How could you do this?” Try to understand the reason “how and why this happened.”
• Analyze your family relationships. Think about how much time you spend with your children?
• Don't call your child a thief. Remember the famous saying: “To err is human.”
• Don’t compare him with other children: “Your friend Sasha would never do that, why am I being punished?”
• Don't get personal, condemn the behavior.
• Do not tell strangers about your child’s misbehavior. By doing this you will cause him great psychological trauma. He will develop self-doubt and distrust of you.
• Be sincere and friendly. The child should feel your distress and try not to upset you again.
• Try to return the item to the owner, but do not demand a public apology from your son or daughter. Share with them the responsibility for the offense committed.
• Do not remind your child about this ridiculous incident; your reproaches cause him suffering.

I suggest you watch a video consultation with a psychologist who will help you gradually wean your child from stealing.

Dear parents! Don't forget that your children's behavior depends on your attention. Solve the problem of child theft in a timely manner. Child theft can lead to problems with the law. Remember: responsibility for theft lies primarily with the parents.

Photobank Lori

Why do children steal

There are many reasons that push a child to steal. Let's try to structure them and outline the most basic messages.

1. Stealing as a side effect. The child is often lonely and lacks communication with his mother. He steals because he gets maximum attention after this incident. All family members give up their activities and begin a joint search for the loss. The director of this entire performance is a child who desperately needs communication.

2. Stealing as an imitation of authoritative parents. Mom and dad can’t do wrong, the kids are sure. Their actions are always correct and reasonable. Therefore, if a child often sees his parents bringing a “badly lying thing” into the house, he will most likely decide that there is nothing reprehensible in stealing other people’s things.

3. Stealing as a way to satisfy one's needs. This is the most severe form of child theft, characteristic of little spoiled egoists, often the only children in the family. Envy of a friend's toys, which the child does not have, will sooner or later push him onto the path of theft.

4. Stealing as entertainment. This form is typical for teenagers who want to demonstrate their coolness to their peers at all costs. But sometimes 3-4 year olds also steal for fun.

My son is 3.5 years old. For 3 months he has been stealing toys from kindergarten and taking them home. And he climbs the cabinets! When I ask why he does this, he says: “We have to!” We tried not to pay attention, simply brought the toys back and quietly placed them on the “lost and found table.” Then they started scolding. Does not help! We are afraid that in the future this may turn into something serious! He seems to understand everything! He agrees that it’s bad, but still continues to steal.

Children live in a fantasy world and sometimes do not separate reality from fiction. They often bring other people's toys from the playground or from kindergarten and, in the literal sense, this act cannot be classified as planned theft. Children under 4 years old do not distinguish between “mine” and “someone else’s” things. A toy you like unconsciously ends up in the hands of a child. And he takes it home, not thinking that the toy has a rightful owner.

Children 5-6 years old already realize that an item belongs to another person. However, they are not always able to restrain the natural impulse to possess the item they like.

Parents, as a rule, turn a blind eye to the fact that the child has appropriated a cheap toy and, in a panic, return the expensive one. Although, in fact, the very fact that a child calmly takes other people’s things without asking is an alarming sign and you need to react to it no matter what.

At the age of 5, children are characterized by selfishness. Often they are not even interested in who owns the thing they like. They just take it for themselves and that’s it. Parents' task: explain that every toy has an owner and you cannot touch a thing without permission.

Sometimes a child refuses to return a stolen item because he is convinced that it is ownerless. “I found her! She’s mine!” the child stubbornly insists, clenching the toy in his fists. Parents should explain that lost things also have owners. And, perhaps, the little owner is now very upset, crying, because he cannot find the loss.

Inaction of parents in this matter can form an initially incorrect model of behavior in the child’s mind. Harmless theft of 3-4 year old children can develop into a lifestyle in the future. There are many cases where a 5-year-old child caught stealing says that he did it to give his mother a gift. Since his parents did not explain to him in a timely manner “what is good and what is bad,” he does not realize that he is committing a bad act and was guided by a good goal - to please mom or dad.

“Guard, my child is stealing!”

So, what should parents do if their children bring other people's things into the house?

First, understand the root cause of his action. Maybe parents are inattentive to the child’s needs and, seeing the “rich property” of their peers, your child feels deprived? Or he stole an item that he had been asking to buy for a long time and to no avail, but having been refused without a compelling argument, he decided to “get” the toy in the only way available to him. In any case, the stolen item must be returned.

One day my daughter brought a small mold in her sweater pocket. Why she needed it, who knows, but I only found it at home, when they took off the jacket. There was a very serious conversation (3 years old). She realized, admitted her guilt, and in the morning she took it to the teacher and apologized. This never happened again.

Analyze the child's behavior. Did he bring it openly or secretly? Did you take the toy on the sly or did you “agree” amicably with the owner? It happens that at this age a child takes a toy from a peer in order to prove his leadership, strength and power over a weaker peer.

Psychologists advise taking pity on a child caught stealing. Then he will feel ashamed, they say. Experts recommend explaining the badness of this act through the prism of the experiences of another participant in the situation - a child who has lost a toy. Tell him how he worries about the “lost” thing.

What exactly should parents not do, even if cases of seemingly innocent thefts have become more frequent? Don't threaten or yell at your child. Such behavior is unlikely to turn the child away from the habit of taking someone else’s property without asking. However, he will understand that it is better to hide this fact from mom and dad so that they do not quarrel. Don't call him a juvenile thief. Insulting a person has never brought a positive result. Remember the old saying “if you call a child a fool, he will eventually become one”? In the case of theft, the effect will be similar. Stop comparing your baby with other, more obedient children. There is no need to try to shame the child for this offense.

Finally, remember the main pedagogical rule: “scold in private, praise in public.” There is no need to give a public “spanking” to a child who takes away other people’s things. Talk to him at home without witnesses.

Experts point out that theft can be a symptom of trouble within the family. Therefore, if a child increasingly wears other people’s toys, do not rush to take the plunge. It may be worthwhile to work on strengthening family ties, forming traditions, and establishing a favorable microclimate.

The age before is the time when theft is not fully conscious and can still be corrected. We'll soon talk about how to act for parents of younger schoolchildren who cannot cope with the desire to take someone else's.

How do parents feel when their child is caught stealing? It is not difficult to guess that this is, first of all, disappointment and resentment. Why did this happen? What prompted the child to commit such an unseemly and condemned act? And, most importantly, what should be done to wean a child from stealing and prevent him from repeating the offense?

Girl stealing money from a wallet

Thefts committed by children are certainly a serious problem that requires an immediate solution. However, do not forget the common truth: you can blame a child for missing money only if the parents have firm confidence that it was he who committed the theft. No matter how strong the resentment and disappointment may be, we should not forget that sometimes even one carelessly thrown word can cause irreparable harm to the parent-child relationship.

Children take money without asking

And yet, what to do, what to do if it is discovered that a child is stealing money from his parents? What advice from a psychologist can help in this situation?

Why?

Thefts committed by children deprived of parental control are unlikely to surprise anyone. But what to do if a child steals valuables and money from families where he was instilled with completely different attitudes and values? As a rule, this is the question most parents ask themselves whose children have been caught stealing money. Indeed, what can force a child to step over the prohibitions, committing a deliberately unseemly act?

To begin with, parents need to look at the very essence of the problem. Psychologists identify several groups of factors that push children to steal. Knowing this, you can make the most correct decision and think about what to do if a child steals money from home.

1. The need for authority among peers

Children often steal money in order to use it to gain authority among their peers. Indeed: around a child who always has a certain amount of money with him, those who want to take advantage of his money always gather. In such cases, you need to explain to the child that authority cannot be bought with money and no gifts will allow the child to gain friends or position in the peer group. Moreover: unseemly actions do not strengthen authority, but, on the contrary, hopelessly harm it. And only goodwill and sincere interest in children can help a child find true friends.

Children often steal, trying to increase their authority

2. Envy of other children

If all the peers around have long ago acquired mobile phones and show each other expensive gadgets, clothes and other things, the child inevitably begins to envy them. And not always the financial situation of parents can allow them to buy things and give expensive gifts that they so dream of. But is it easy to explain this to a child at an age when any difference from others is perceived as extremely painful? Of course, this needs to be done.

First of all, the child must be taught not to react to other people’s boasting and to respond with dignity to provocations from other children.

Envy of others is the reason for theft

After all, in fact, there will always be children who will wear more expensive clothes and take more expensive phones out of their briefcases. And there is no point in “chasing” after someone, trying to prove your worth and doing something that doesn’t make sense.

3. Stealing as an attempt to attract attention

Quite often, children who lack parental attention and support decide to steal money. For them, a crime is a chance to provoke loved ones to an emotional reaction and force them to at least briefly remember its existence.

In such a situation, it is necessary to radically reconsider your relationship with the child. Can he always count on understanding from his family? Isn't his communication with his family reduced to routine issues? It is the restoration of the relationship with the son or daughter, and not the investigation of the fact of theft, that should become a priority in this situation.

Children believe that money will increase their authority among their peers

It is worth noting that often after one confidential conversation the child begins to feel remorse and a sense of shame for what he has done.

4. Misunderstanding of the role and value of money

Having a very superficial understanding of the cost of money for most parents, many children can easily take it without permission and spend it on their own needs. Of course, in this case, one conversation will not be enough. It is advisable to let him feel the consequences of a lack of money by temporarily limiting his spending on entertainment, reducing the amount of pocket money. The teenager can also be asked to find a part-time job (that does not interfere with his studies).

Children often do not understand the value of money

How to prevent your child from stealing money?

It is easier to prevent any problem than to deal with its consequences later. That is why it is very important to do everything possible to prevent children from committing thefts. What should you pay special attention to?

A confidential conversation with a child helps stop thefts

It is very desirable that the child has a hobby, a favorite activity or any other way to direct your energy where it should be. This will play an invaluable role due to the fact that by playing sports, reading books, or regularly attending clubs that interest him, the child is guaranteed not to get bored. The opportunity to express yourself in what you love will help you get rid of the feeling of loneliness and alienation. And at the same time, if he is really sincerely interested in his work, find friends with similar interests.

A child should learn to respect other people's feelings from childhood. And think about the consequences that may result from his actions. It is worth giving advice in simple, accessible language for the child. It is advisable to give examples from life that clearly illustrate what the loss of money can lead to and how difficult it is sometimes to eliminate the consequences of rash actions. Don't be afraid to use the advice of a psychologist!

In order for a child not to grow up infantile, it is important that from an early age he feels responsible for someone or something. To do this, he can be entrusted with a task that he will have to perform regularly and daily. This could be watering flowers, taking care of a pet. Older children can gradually be trusted to care for younger ones.

Money should be kept in the house out of the reach of children. Often, by leaving money in any place convenient for themselves, adults themselves provoke its theft or loss.

Money should be kept out of the reach of children

It is very important that the child has an understanding of personal belongings belonging to each family member and their inviolability. Therefore, clear boundaries must be established in the family, defining what can and cannot be done, and what kind of things everyone has the right to dispose of. But for this it is also important that the child himself has personal space and his own things that he must take care of.

Older children can be given pocket money. Having personal money at his disposal and understanding that the amount is limited, he is unlikely to spend it on useless things, and will be able to understand what exactly its value is.

Pocket money

If possible, you should not refuse to buy your child the things he needs.(provided that we are talking about something truly significant and not a fleeting whim). If a parent does not have the means to buy a certain item, it is necessary to explain this to the child in a simple and accessible form. You can offer older children an agreement: pay part of the purchase yourself, and offer to contribute part of the money, or earn money for the child himself.

Children should be given pocket money

It is important that children form the correct attitudes towards theft from childhood, and see it as a condemned act that carries extremely negative consequences. The child must know what happens to those who steal and why this happens.

Useful prohibitions

In order to wean a child from theft, it is useful to take into account not only advice, but also prohibitions.

Turn a blind eye to the loss of small sums of money or things of insignificant value. Needless to say, a child who gets away with petty theft will not be able to restrain himself from committing a more significant offense. The consequences that will occur if a child commits this offense should be aimed mainly at preventing theft in the future. And the size of the stolen amount is not of fundamental importance.

Parental error

The most common parenting mistakes

If a child steals money, do not publicly reprimand him or use intimidation or threats as punishment. This will completely ruin the relationship with your parents. After listening to any child psychologist, one can understand that refusal to steal should be motivated by conscious respect for the property of others, and not by the threat of punishment.
If money thefts become constant and begin to recur outside the home, the child will need serious help from a qualified psychologist.

Theft cannot be ignored

It is not easy to stop a child from stealing. But taking into account the psychologist’s advice given in the article, you can influence the child and effectively prevent theft both at home and outside it.

Reasons for child theft

The child came back from a walk and tried to take a new robot out of his pocket without you noticing. Of course, you saw this and immediately asked where the child got the toy. And in response, an uncertain, blurry attempt to answer or a clear “Stas gave it to me.” But Stas couldn’t give him the robot he’d been dreaming about for the last few weeks, and you understand that. The only thing you don’t understand is why your child stole this robot from the boy, because he himself has a lot of toys.

Before weaning a child from stealing, you need to find out why he committed the “theft.” And there may be several reasons.

Lack of development of will and moral ideas, when a child really wants to get someone else’s thing, he steals it and doesn’t even think about the essence and consequences of the act. This is typical for all children, because they do not yet know how to assess consequences. This is a very good reason to explain to your child that a momentary “I want” is not a guide to action.

Serious psychological dissatisfaction. In this case, most often the child steals money from his parents, relatives or close people. Typically, such thefts are committed by teenagers or primary schoolchildren. In the families of such children, a not entirely healthy atmosphere reigns - parents are most often emotionally cold towards each other, maybe even towards their children. The child does not find support either in the family or at school. In this case, he steals not in order to get rich, but simply out of revenge and resentment.

A strong desire to own the thing you like, against the voice of conscience. The child understands what he is doing, how bad it is, that it will harm another person, but cannot stop. Most often, no one knows about this theft, since the child thinks through everything in advance, and until he himself repents of what he has done, it will remain a mystery where neighbor Natasha’s pen from France disappeared.

What to do as parents

So, how to behave if you suspect a child of stealing? Here are the basic tips.

1. If you have not caught a child stealing, but suspicions still fall on him, then do not rush to blame him. In this case, the presumption of innocence applies.

2. Even if a child stole something, do not give vent to your negative feelings; first of all, before you is a child, and not a malicious thief. Otherwise, you can deprive the child of self-confidence and the right to be treated well by others. Be careful. And forget about the words “How could you?” - they are useless and even harmful. And in the future, the child will most likely hide his negative actions if you yell at him.

3. Under no circumstances should you frighten your child by taking him to the police or hitting him on the hands, telling him how they used to cut off his hands for stealing. This will only embitter the child; he will know that he is bad for you.

4. Help your child correct the current situation, share responsibility with him and offer a solution.

5. Tell your child how upset you are about what is happening (but do not call it “theft,” “theft,” or “a crime”). Calmly tell your child about your feelings and the feelings of those who have a missing item.

6. Think about the reasons for the child's action. Ask him in detail why he did this, what he felt at that moment, why he didn’t ask you for this thing, but chose to steal it.

7. Try to find the right solution with your child. And this should be a joint decision, and not your order. You can help your child and push him to the right way out of the situation.

8. The stolen item must be returned to the owner. If your child is afraid to go alone, then go with him. The child must feel supported.

9. If you are completely sure that the child stole the item, but he himself does not admit it, then offer to put the item in its place while no one sees. And if the child is small, then you can use something like this: “There’s a little guy in our house who stole my new beads, let’s leave something tasty on the table for him, he’ll get over it and put everything back in its place.”

10. Do not discuss what happened in the presence of strangers; this should only be between you and the child.

11. Do not compare your child with other children or with yourself. This is not necessary either: “But I, unlike you, have never...”

12. Once you have dealt with the situation and solved the problem, never return to it. The child will learn a good lesson without this.

13. Avoid situations that may provoke theft.

14. Often a child is pushed to steal by the company with which he communicates. He may steal “for company” or to increase his authority. If the child is small, then limit his communication with such friends. And the best thing is to invite all your friends to visit, to get to know them, meet their parents.

15. The child must know that it is not he who is bad, but his action, that he can still trust you and you still love him, but you sincerely want him to understand how bad he acted.

Theft prevention:

16. Direct your child’s activity in a peaceful direction, let him choose an activity he likes - drawing, dancing, wrestling, photography. A person who does what he likes, devotes his free time to his favorite activity, does not constantly think about how to attract attention to himself, and of course, he will have at least one friend with similar interests.

17. Teach your child to empathize and think about other people, to put yourself in their place.

18. There should not be double morality in your family when you tell your child that stealing is wrong, but you yourself bring home a package of paper or paper clips. For your child, you are an authority, so don’t be surprised if he does the same, bringing other people’s pencils and markers from school.

19. The child needs to be responsible, for example, for his younger sister, for the dog or cat, for the cleanliness of the room. Let's gradually do more things that require responsibility.

20. Help your child solve his problems. They may seem funny and childish to you, but for a child this is very serious. Think about what you would do if you were in his place. The child should know that he can always rely on you and get advice.