There was a case. More precisely, two. In the mornings I run in Troparevsky Park. And one day an unpleasant dog, medium-sized, I don’t remember the breed, rushes towards me. I love dogs very much, but this one was vile, evil, lying. The hostess is nearby, smoking. I shout to her: “Madam, would you hold the dog, huh?” Instead of apologizing, she tells him to move on. I decided not to get involved in the discussion, it’s a lady after all. I am courteous with them. He sped away.

I ran quietly for several days. Suddenly again - the same vile little dog. The same madam, smoking. He stopped: “Madam, I asked you. And I’m not the only one running around here.” Madame is being rude again. I’m approaching: “Listen, I’m tired of this already...” Madame suddenly pulls out a stun gun and threatens them. Here my courtliness was washed away like blood. A Russian man cannot be driven to extreme arguments. I very loudly and passionately explained to this fool what I would do to her, her filthy dog, and where I would put the stun gun. And I always have vocabulary and convincing intonations at the ready - since the days of my happy adolescence in the Lublin region.

Madame backed away, the little dog became quiet. I never saw Madame and her dog in this park again. Still would.

Some boring American or Dutchman wouldn't say anything. I would contact the police, the municipality, The Hague, I don’t know where else. No. We deal with our unreasonable women ourselves. “Woman, know your place!” - as Uncle Slava, my heavy-drinking neighbor in the dacha, said. Already deceased.

When a Russian man is infuriated by a woman’s obstinacy, absurdity, and self-confidence, he becomes scary. This is not an ordinary male squabble or “punch in the face.” Between males everything is primitive, at the insect level. Bam-bang, they ran away. Forgot. But when a woman allows herself to play a male, this is a violation of ancient and formidable laws. Here the Slavic abysses open up for our men. No matter how much we pretend to be civilized people, anyone can lose their temper, even if he is not in sweatpants, but in a muffler and a candidate in art history. Because a woman’s role is to agree, nod, smile. Sweet whims - please. But within the framework of an unshakable social model. Ring, shoes, ticket to Meladze's concert.

Terrible? Feudal? Wild? Certainly. We are like that. Asians, barely covered with napkins.

Actually, Hillary annoyed us all precisely because: “Where are you going, woman?” And the jubilation about Trump comes from the same place: “Great job, man!” What each of them has in the program is of no interest to anyone. I'm not sure everyone can answer which one is a Democrat and which one is a Republican. Nonsense! Man vs woman - that’s the whole intrigue from the Russian point of view. They threw Hillary into the sea, from a boat - and the Russian people rejoice.

Ten years ago I had a chance to ask Valentina Matvienko, when will a woman be able to become president in Russia? Valentina Ivanovna answered politically correctly, but the point is brief: not in our lifetime. Smart girl.

There is an old stupid joke. Can a woman be a colonel? Answer: No, only under a colonel. General laughter.

The new jokes are no better. The farmer who named the goat Merkel also delights with wit. The whole country was having fun.

A few numbers. In 2000, Ella Pamfilova ran for the post of President of the Russian Federation. The result is 1%. Everyone remembers who was chosen then. In 2004, Irina Khakamada ran. This is a truly triumphant result - 3.84%. None of the girls wanted to repeat the triumph again. Unless Poklonskaya tries to become the Chairman of the Union of Theater Workers - we will only applaud, applaud. But, they say, the faction asked her not to speak publicly anymore. A beautiful silent girl, what more does the country need? For the whole united Russia?

Yes, sexism, ruthless sexism. Feminists will shout: “Gentlemen, you are animals!” But who will hear their cries, unless they are in the Cathedral of Christ the Savior? Except for the cordial Ella Pamfilova.

The thing is that our women are sincerely happy with the role assigned to them. Worse than that: a man who threatens, intimidates, and is rude is damn nice to them. It’s not even cute - they go crazy over such men, it’s delight on the verge of orgasm. More, darling, more!

All Polovtsian dances around scoundrels like Stalin and Ivan the Terrible are purely women's affairs. Guys, unless they are cunning bureaucrats, generally don’t give a damn. I hear the phrase “How we miss Stalin” only from women. They, dear ones, want a tyrant, a despot, a sadist. Give our girls a chance - they will invite Stalin to bed. They’ll ask their husband: “Let’s go with the three of us today, with Osya? Osya - wow! The husband doesn’t have time to answer, Osya is already throwing off his overcoat: “Eh, move over, Comrade Zhukov will be there…”

And cozy domestic assault is everywhere; only the wildest stories reach the court chronicles. They beat their wives and girlfriends. By the way, about the series “Mysterious Passion”. Back in 1960, Andrei Voznesensky made a splash with his poem “They Beat a Woman.” He clearly describes a case that he saw himself and summarizes: “They beat a woman, they beat her for centuries...” I note that the verse does not say that the poet rushed in and dealt with the scoundrel. No, why, he’s a lyrical hero.

Just, fellow feminists, don't accuse me of condoning violence. No. Never. The women themselves justify him. “Oh, he’s so hot-tempered!”

I know a married couple, intelligent people with a creative profession. One day, my wife suddenly stunned all her friends with a post. It was about how they were having a cultural holiday, drinking, and suddenly the husband attacked and began beating. It reached the law enforcement agencies. With this post, the unfortunate woman seemed to have burned all her bridges. She announced to the world what a scumbag her husband is. And she won’t even get close to him anymore, there are no children together, thank God.

Time passed, literally a month. I meet this couple together. The Dove and the Dove. I didn’t ask the beaten questions, why? She burned it down herself and rebuilt it herself. The bruises are gone and they move on.

Our man is a dangerous and cruel creature. Our woman loves him for this. A good Russian is a violent Russian. And if he’s like a calf, she’s bored, she wants the scepter of Ivan, damn it, the Terrible. One of my friends fell right into the blues when we lived peacefully, without quarrels. She started a scandal from scratch, on a clean parquet floor. Literally shaking my testosterone and adrenaline in a shaker: come on, come on! It’s easy to infuriate me, courteousness lasts for seven minutes, I checked. Don't worry, I've always limited myself to verbal brawling, no right hooks. Then screams, tears, departure to my mother. “How you humiliated me!” A couple of days later a call, a gentle voice: “So?” And it dragged on for two years, like an army. Exciting, but very exhausting. I parted with relief.

Thank God, I went into reserve. Age, health, experience. I live alone. Only women in the park sometimes cheer up my Russian spirit. I'm glad to shed all the synthetic courtliness. To roam free. Break out into the wild steppe of my Russian soul. Know, woman, your place - in the park, in society, in the store, in history!

...And now you can turn on the camera. I’ll tell you how to please our charming ladies on New Year’s holidays.

Allure editor-in-chief Alexei Belyakov with the telling headline “Woman, know your place!” - one of many in which Alexey dictates to women how they should behave, dress and look in order to please men. We collected a number of telling quotes from other Belyakov columns, which have long caused outrage among women, and found out from the men themselves what they think about such a “male gaze.”

About “strong women”:

When a woman allows herself to play a male, this is a violation of ancient terrible laws. Here the Slavic abysses open up for our men. No matter how much we pretend to be civilized people, anyone can lose their temper, even if he is not in sweatpants, but in a muffler and a candidate in art history. Because a woman’s role is to agree, nod, smile. Sweet whims - please. But within the framework of an unshakable social model. Ring, shoes, ticket to Meladze’s concert.<…>Just, fellow feminists, don't accuse me of condoning violence. No. Never. The women themselves justify him. “Oh, he’s so hot-tempered!”

It’s time to stop this bacchanalia before nature punishes us. No, let there be strong women, well, two or three per million, and that’s enough. That’s how their body is structured, and for God’s sake. The rest should cry, be capricious, demand a foot massage - not in the salon, at home! - and his Dima should rush to them. Which will solve everything, sort it out, arrange it. With whom it is calm, reliable, forever. Because that's the only way it's right. Because this harmony is laid down from above, and destroying it is worse than eroding the ozone layer. It's as simple as one plus one equals eternity.

Alexander Gorbachev

editor of the special correspondents department of Meduza

They often say about this - they say, this is clickbait, why do you even pay attention to this and add views. In my opinion, this is a rather vicious logic - clickbait is clickbait for the very reason that it is aimed at the widest audience; if you don’t notice it, the transmission of the corresponding views to this audience will be unencumbered. I would not overestimate the value of indignant views - the measure of reputational damage for both the author and the publication is clearly higher.

Another argument in defense of this kind of statement is that why are you censoring, a person has the right to an opinion and the like. Here I would like to remind you that censorship, even by the dictionary definition, implies the participation of the state and a certain administrative supervisory apparatus. Even if we understand the term as a metaphor and keep in mind the censorship of the collective Facebook, here too, in my opinion, it is still very far from unanimity. Simply put, this is not called censorship, but a discussion - in which, if appropriate, it is sometimes necessary to explain to the opponent that he is spreading shameful, incorrect and simply harmful stereotypes. Moreover, it is harmful not only for women and their understanding of what role they can play in society, but also for men.

For me, for example, not only this whole subordinate and derogatory discourse towards women is offensive, but also the stereotyping of men as strong males, whose life strategies, according to the author, in an incomprehensible way balance between tireless sexual objectification and the desire to protect, resolve issues and the same to earn the most objectification. Fuck him. I am a man, and quite often I also don’t want to decide anything - and I have the right to do so. The downside of such postcard sexism is that its propagandist reduces himself to a bag of testosterone in which money appears from somewhere else. In my opinion, this is an extremely unattractive picture.

About women's appearance:

An aunt of almost retirement age who is naked - this aunt is ridiculous, not to say comical. Everything, you know, has its time. When Helen Mirren plays a dashing woman with a gun at the ready in the film "RED" - it's cool, funny, awesome. This movie. But she doesn’t expose herself, as she did forty years ago in the film “Caligula.” And there was something to see, young Helen was a sex bomb.

But let's face it below the belt: are all girls' legs that good? Do miniskirts and shorts always make a girl look better? I declare with all responsibility: not always. Legs can be too thick, frighteningly thin, and finally, simply ugly. And when a girl with flabby and pale legs puts on very short shorts, I cannot welcome this with all my liberalism. And half the planet is on my side, including, by the way, gays who are especially picky about their appearance.

Konstantin
Silberburg

design researcher

Vladimir Sorokin has a story “Nastya”. This is a stylization of Chekhov, an illustration of the main character’s 16th birthday celebration. Parents and guests bring gifts to the girl and pay compliments, preparing her in every possible way for “the most important day of her life,” and then roast her in the oven and eat her while talking about philosophy. The text is stunning, among other things, with what everydayness and pathos it speaks about literally cannibalistic morality. For me, the texts of Alexey Belyakov are not much different from the content of “Nastya”. They completely depersonalize, objectify women, deprive them of the right to their body, to their own desires both in the sexual and mental spheres, prescribe rituals aimed at pleasing the “senior” men in the hierarchy, and describe the humiliations that women must undergo, so that in the end they will be eaten with dignity. That’s why my attitude towards his columns is similar to that of Sorokin’s narrative: disgust combined with bewilderment.

It cannot be said that this point of view is news to me: there are a lot of chauvinists in Russia - this is evidenced, for example, by the triumph with which our country greeted the victory of the sexist, racist and homophobic Donald Trump in the US elections. And if the latter appeals to an audience of “angry white men,” then who the editor-in-chief of a magazine for women is addressing is unclear. Imagine that you come to the doctor with a toothache, and he prescribes you an antiviral drug and “Our Father” before bed - the essence will be approximately the same, only the reaction will be stronger. The most offensive thing is that among successful people it is so easy to meet cannibals. Absolutely wild sexist views are typical for the editor-in-chief of a fashion magazine, for a “Snob” columnist, for a text message writer for a liberal news portal, and even for a science popularizer.

About body positivity:

And in the Pirelli calendar I want to see young, strong, naked girls. Not the legs of 80-year-old Yoko Ono. And not the abundant folds on comedian Amy Schumer's belly.

Yes, I'm a fierce sexist. And behind my back there are millions more of the same fierce sexists, including truck drivers with heavy trucks. We are with truckers for a pure genre. Evolution has not created anything better than a beautiful female body. Body positivists let them eat hamsters at night, if they want, we don’t ask them to take off their clothes. And if truckers start marching on New York demanding a normal calendar, I’ll join on my bike.

Body positivity is a terribly harmful thing. Opium for the people. The fact is that it is important for a person, as a being burdened with consciousness, to have a goal. A super task. For a male creature this is status. In a profession or society. A woman’s main task throughout her life is to be attractive. Alluring. Well, it was laid down this way - by God or Darwin, whoever wants to count it. A woman can make a career and achieve status, but this is not a super task, it is just ambition. Moreover, high status and the money that accompanies it serve the ultimate purpose. When you have a million or two to spend on procedures, that’s not bad.

Georgy Birger

journalist

By and large, Belyakov’s columns exist precisely because it is already more or less clear to everyone that what is written in them is horror and darkness. That is, it is clear that in modern society this is considered horror and darkness, but at the same time this modern society itself is incomprehensible. Belyakov, on the other hand, is terribly archaic; under the guise of etiquette rules, he regularly postulates things that were the norm to talk about just recently (for example, whether it’s possible to “eat” on dates, the heroines of “Sex and the City” thought only 15 years ago) . It’s not cool when the world you understand leaves and some new, incomprehensible one comes, but Belyakov’s texts are a note of protest to the new world. And he’s not the only one, he himself writes: “Yes, I’m a fierce sexist. And behind my back there are millions more of the same fierce sexists.” These millions have already understood what sexism is, but they still do not sincerely understand what is so bad about it.

Outrage, of course, is an understandable first reaction to this way of thinking, but looking down on it only makes things worse (as we see with the election of Trump as President of the United States). Therefore, simply obstructing Belyakov and, for example, demanding his dismissal will only provoke the real recipients of his messages (and these are not women, of course). Demanding empathy from people is generally a bad idea; empathy doesn’t work that way. We have to argue and explain again. And then again. Sexism, after all, has been with us for too long and is built into society too tightly; we cannot get rid of it quickly.

About female sexuality:

We men are more afraid of this terrible operation than women. That is, not the operation itself, but the consequences. How to accept what we see? What is in this place, which we loved and caressed very much! - Is there an ugly scar in this place? Of course, you need endurance, let's be honest. And few people are able to control themselves. Yes, we are ready to regret. And not for long. What about love? To love the one who was the closest person, and suddenly she was disfigured?

We live to gaze at girlish charms. All these offices and mortgages are nonsense, invented to distract us from the main thing. From April to October we have fun and peace, there is a meaning to life. We want everyone who runs by in a short skirt and tight T-shirt. The blood is boiling, the head is spinning, the Earth is spinning.

And in winter? Girls! Don't change your biological essence. Tease, seduce, corrupt.

Eating abundantly is a male prerogative; girls only need three leaves and a piece of cheese. At the very least, we should see such a picture. This is touching, it is charming and, finally - and we always mentally undress you with our gaze - it promises us to see a tremulous figure in the twilight, and not a tired “goddess of fertility”.

Tarlan Abdullaev

project manager, organizer of “Pika-Pika” parties

About communicating with women:

No, it’s much better if your friend and you have different political views. He is, say, a liberal, and she is a rabid Stalinist. Firstly, life will become more fun. Both. Secondly, it intensifies the drama of the night's pleasures. “Well, Ira, do you like Stalin? Do you love? But she can’t answer: her mouth is busy.

Then I got excited and boldly told the new bosses what I thought about their figure, eyes and hair. “What graceful shoulders you have, why do you hide them under jackets?” And so on. One blushed a little, the other smiled tenderly, the third expressed her gratitude with restraint. But not one of them ever stopped me: “You are forgetting yourself, lieutenant!”

Bosses need to be given compliments. Spit on all the rules, commandments and office etiquette. This is the “decline of Europe” and the stupidity of feminists. Let them die of sexless boredom in their offices in Europe - Russian gentlemen love women openly, honestly, visibly.

Ira always won. She had more arguments, numbers, comparisons. And logic. I was furious. Ira also had a debilitating way of conducting an argument calmly, with a disdainful grin. Sometimes, already on edge, I was ready to scream: “This is not a woman’s business at all!” But fortunately, he didn’t scream. And then he consoled himself with one thing: Ira was ugly. “She has nothing to catch,” I reasoned vilely. - She doesn't have a boyfriend. So he has fun with books, politics, logic. Stupid!"

I don’t know how Ira’s fate turned out. I hope it's happy. She was a good girl. Just too smart, that's the problem. Men avoid such people. Why do they avoid them? They run away like the devil from incense.

Vasily Sonkin

producer

It’s very clear why these speakers exist, but that doesn’t make it any less sad. There are people who really think the way the author writes (they say he doesn’t behave that way himself, but that doesn’t change things). There are people who would like to behave this way, but something does not allow them, and they read these columns as material for fantasy. And there is a third category of success of these columns - all of us who have now read his writings are angry and indignant about this. That’s why this Belyakov writes them, and websites order them for him. They are viral, they cause “discussion”. This is justified in the media, much like clickbait and videos with kittens.

But in fact, I am outraged by the attitude towards women that is expressed in his texts. This is objectification in its purest form, reducing a woman to a beautiful trophy that a man is free to control simply because he has a penis and a woman does not. The only relationships that can be truly healthy and rewarding are partnerships. This is the relationship that I have built with my wife Dasha, and we can both realize our ambitions and support each other. Moreover, now I am learning a lot from her, because Dasha has had her own business for three years. If I were the man from Belyakov’s column, I would have cut off her attempts at the root, and now I wouldn’t even have anyone to consult with on the million questions that arise when I open my own business.

And this is the relationship that I am building with my daughter Natasha. I don’t want to tell her, I want to negotiate with her, to be not only an authority for her, but also just a person whom she trusts and on whom she can rely. But Belyakov cannot be trusted, much less relied on. It's bad to be like this.

Having looked at the twists of my yoga girlfriend’s body, I couldn’t resist and - no, I didn’t take asanas nearby - I dragged her into the room, onto the big, big sofa. Both were satisfied with the joint exercises. Yes, citizens, yoga, of course, has a lot of benefits. Let the girls do it, I don't mind at all.

Yes, it's sex. Real sex. With 22 men at the same time. If you take a close-up shot of a fan's face during an anxious game, it's easy to assume that she is experiencing a very long orgasm. Forty-five minutes of orgasm. Plus added time. I think this is where the mystery of total female fandom lies. She may not understand what offside is and why there is a corner. But she, tired of the big city, desperately wants sex, a prolonged orgasm. And she gets it at least this way. Ole-ole-ole! Girls, go ahead!

Artyom Sokolov

journalist

Of course, I don’t want to accuse anyone of anything, but the author’s position seems strange not only because I and most of my friends hold the opposite opinion, but also because of the confusion in the testimony. When a person who considers himself a liberal declares: “This and only this is correct,” one hardly wants to believe in all this. In general, to be honest, we all need to quickly forget these columns, like an unsuccessful school essay for which we get a bad grade (forgive me for being harsh). Now I will explain why. There is a lack of awareness in some issues, for example in sports. It is necessary to distinguish sports competitions from an erotic video clip. Otherwise, it’s worth living for some time in preparation for a marathon (or at least a half-marathon) and looking into the eyes of a woman who is able to overcome such a distance.

I think that the popularity of such statements lies in the established commodity-money relations between a man and a woman, in which each defines a goal for himself: one wants care and attention, the other wants dinner and clean socks. Or vice versa. The key to all of this is probably self-sufficiency. If you want to better understand another person, learn to do what you want to get from him. And, probably, it is at this moment that the category “should” disappears and simple human relationships begin.

Ethnographer Maysarat Musayeva told the Daptar portal about women's space in a traditional patriarchal society.

Everyone has probably heard this phrase. It sounds offensive. But, if you don’t immediately get into a fight, but think about it, then it becomes less offensive. After all, Your Place in a traditional patriarchal society means, in particular, the clear boundaries of your territory and the right to protect their integrity. It is precisely for this, in order to find out everything about the Place that a Dagestan woman should know, we turned to Maysarat Musaeva, a senior researcher at the Institute of History, Archeology and Ethnography of the Dagestan Scientific Center of the Russian Academy of Sciences.

- I'll start right away with the painful part, okay? Tell me, in that same “bygone Dagestan,” could a man make comments to a woman who is not his relative?

- Let's start with the fact that, if we talk about traditions, a woman with a man could not do anything that he could pay attention to at all. In the presence of men, women and girls behaved very reservedly. Now we walk the streets, sit in cafes, cinemas, ride minibuses, work in the same office with men. And in a patriarchal society, the spheres of life were clearly demarcated; in everyday life, the appearance of a man forced even a cheerful flock of girls to immediately muffle their voices, bow their heads slightly, in some cases even turn sideways and stand there until the man passed. These were echoes of the “tradition of avoidance.” But! In this case, the man, of course, under no circumstances should have made a direct comment. Among some nationalities of Dagestan, not only did he not have the right to make a remark, he could not even walk too close or speak to a strange woman, unless it was an old woman. Among the Kumyks, a man, seeing a woman coming towards him, had to turn into the nearest alley. It is clear that the rule was violated, but if it was violated publicly, if villagers were nearby, such freedom was condemned and could cause gossip. Therefore, approaching a group of girls, the man addressed not the one to whom he wanted to say something or ask her, but one of his relatives. Like, could you please convey Patimat...

— And Patimat stands two steps away and giggles.

- Well, yes! But all etiquette standards are observed. And if he was dissatisfied with something, he again had to turn to women. There is no way to say anything to your brother about his sister - this is a conflict. So he has to find an aunt, maybe a neighbor, maybe a friend or a friend's mother. But under no circumstances should you tell your direct relatives about your dissatisfaction.

- It is reasonable. But what then to do with the custom that is mentioned by the same Ahmedkhan Abu-Bakar. Am I talking about girls who, on certain days, lie in wait for strange men outside the village and mock them in all sorts of ways, including beating them with nettles?

- This custom (we will call it that, although it is terminologically incorrect), it seems, does not even have a name. Do you know why? Because mention of this can be found among many peoples of Dagestan: among the Kulin Laks, and among the southern Dargins, it was found somewhere, and among the high-mountain peoples - the Botlikhs, Godoberians... These are echoes of ancient, ancient rituals, which have turned into a kind of game form, when it is not considered shameful, something that is prohibited in ordinary life, for example, showing off over a man. Something like the European Saturnalia, carnivals, when all the usual rules were broken. All these festive events, which slightly crossed the borders, had a clear calendar reference and took place exclusively in the spring. The time of awakening, the time of the beginning of a new life cycle. Well, it was all dressed up in such a ritual practice. This ritual was recorded, well, at the very beginning of the 19th century. Although, people remember this. And the travelers who were here already in the middle of the 19th century, they didn’t observe it, but they heard about it, you know?

Happy or unhappy is another question, but if she somehow disgraces her husband, then their common children will bear this shame.

“What I like most is that the man was required to show restraint during such torture; he didn’t have to raise his hand or curse the girls, he didn’t even have to resist. Otherwise, he would “lose face.”

- Well, in general, yes. This is a game moment, and in the game the rules are indicated. It would be good if he knew about such procedures, but what if not? It’s not like they were their own, they most often grabbed a stranger. Do you understand? Because he won’t forget his own and it will somehow come back to haunt him later. As I say, everything happened within a certain framework and at a certain time. God forbid if it gets into someone’s head that this was in the order of things. It happens with us that a person reads something somewhere - “Oh, God, we had this!” - and begins to preach and propagandize. The trouble here is this: when we come across some ancient rituals that are incomprehensible to us, we try to explain them from the point of view of modern man, with his ideas and knowledge about the world around him, with his logic, which follows from this knowledge. And this is not always correct. The same “marriage fights” in some villages were also part of the ritual. The girl was supposed to resist. Not very actively and not for too long, but fight. The same Dubrovin writes that brides were often shaved bald so that the young husband, asserting his marital rights, could not grab her by the braids and thus “pacify”. And the bride’s pants were always held up, and the hold was in knots. A hold is a string that was threaded instead of an elastic band, but there were no elastic bands. And the groom, before being allowed into the bedroom, was searched to see if he had a cutting object, so that he could not cut the rope. It was necessary to tear it apart, or better yet untie it. Untying knots is a very ancient practice - with this action, according to popular beliefs, the groom was supposed to increase his productive abilities.

- So, the girl could play along with her beloved. And if she was given in marriage against her will, and she had enough character and strength, she could resist so desperately and for so long that she would disgrace him in front of the whole village.

- No, you understand what’s the matter, even if she loved, she wouldn’t show it. She could not make public her attitude towards him; this was condemned. And then look, because in the mountains a woman would never marry some coward who in her eyes did not look like a man. And, naturally, if she loves someone, she will never allow it to be shown somewhere in society that he is weak. And even if she doesn’t love her, but is already married, she still wouldn’t undermine his authority. This is her family. Happy or unhappy is another question, but if she somehow disgraces her husband, then their common children will bear this shame.

- But there is a legend about Kamalil Bashir. The young man was so beautiful that his own father was forced to kill him, because all the girls, widows and even married women, forgetting about their husbands and their shame, vied with each other to harass him.

- It's still a legend. And for me the most important thing in it is not the love component, but the fact that his own father killed him. He sacrificed his own son in order to maintain peace in the village, he killed himself so that there would be no bloodlines. But I understand that you want to grope and outline the boundaries of the women's world, women's freedom. Then you might be interested to know about the marriage initiatives of Dagestan women.

- And how! Just hearing the word initiative makes me very happy, and if there is initiative in such an important matter as choosing a husband, then I am doubly happy.

“We said that the girl could not openly express her feelings. This is all true, but there were situations... exceptions. The marriage initiative is apparently also a very ancient custom, because echoes are found among many nations. Among the same Laks, a girl who had reached marriageable age came to the mosque and had to shout “kurmamyav!” The word cannot be translated, but everyone knew what it meant: “I want to get married.” They say that this custom died out when some girl did not want to go out, she had already been an old maid for many years, and her parents forced her to go.. And she went to the mosque and shouted: “Let those who invented this be cursed!” . And among the Lezgins and Derbent Azerbaijanis, at night the girl dressed in dark clothes, went out onto the roof of her house and began shouting that she wanted to get married. And then people quietly began to look for a groom for her. For some period of time this ritual disappeared; it did not exist, as it turns out. But, during the years of the Caucasian War, when there was a certain imbalance between men and women, Imam Shamil revived it. He forced parents to marry off their daughters, even by force. For widowers, as a second wife, as a third. Because it was necessary to solve the demographic problem. He also lined up all the men of fertile age, lined up all the girls who stayed at home, including widows, and each had to name the name of the person she wanted to marry. And it didn’t matter whether he was married or not, or whether he had children, it made no difference. I had to get married.

- Now I like this much more. Alikhanov Avarsky talks about this, and I read in Aglarov about the custom of “khaduy in” (lit. “to leave after him”). A girl could fall in love and then collect her bundle and stomp straight into the house...

- ...to the chosen one. Very rarely, because it was condemned, and even the customary (adat) law of some societies provides for fines, and considerable ones, for such an act, but that’s how it is. Moreover, Alikhanov wrote about Dagestan in the second half of the 19th century. And they told me about a relatively recent case, it was in the 40-50s of the twentieth century. There was one man, a handsome man. I traveled to different villages for work and apparently took a liking to a girl from a neighboring village. She came to his house and sat down. And he has a wife and two children. And they were forced to take her as a second wife. Why, you won’t send him back, you won’t kick him out. It's a shame. Despite the fact that such an act did not look good on the girl and greatly affected the reputation of her family, this did not give the man the right to refuse her. Sometimes they all lived together until old age. And sometimes men got married to comply with the custom, but lived with such a wife for no more than a year, and then divorced. Well, again, the well-known custom of throwing hats at a girl’s window. There, too, she had freedom of choice; if she didn’t like the guy, his hat flew back. And in general, there are a lot of ways to make it clear whether the guy’s family should go to matchmaking or not. Let’s not go far, in the village of Rugudzha, where I come from, in the past, if some woman came to a girl’s house and asked to borrow a rope to tie a donkey, then it was for a reason. There's a metaphor here...

- I see. We have, they say, an uncontrollable donkey, you have a rope girl...

- Well, I think that there was no offensive meaning in this metaphor; we are again trying to interpret it from the point of view of a modern person, for whom “donkey” is an insult. So, she comes and asks, it’s broken there, everyone has this rope, I need to tie the donkey, please give it. If they give, then we can talk about a future marriage. If they don’t give it, then there’s no point in meddling. Or, so, they come to have a conversation and take with them a khurjin, and there is bread in it. If they come home and find bread that is not theirs, it means they have changed it, we can say so. But just talk. There are such ceremonies here... Even if it was 100 percent known that the girl agreed, the guy’s relatives went publicly three times, seeking an answer. And they were sent back three times. Although reconnaissance was carried out, they may have already received their bread, nevertheless, they went three times. It was so accepted!

In the mountains, women had more responsibilities and work, but they were still more independent, including financially.

— Sergei Abdulkhalikovich Luguev once told me about a marriage through a conspiracy, when a guy and his relatives deliberately spread rumors about a girl in order to discourage competitors and get her into their family. And Mamaikhan Aglarovich Aglarov mentions a “mirror” method called “notification”. There, the girl deliberately collided with the boy and started a scandal. She screamed that he stood in her way, grabbed her hand, in general, somehow encroached on her honor and now had to marry her.

— It’s difficult to answer unequivocally. In many cases, there is simply not enough material or evidence to speak not about a particular case, but about a tradition or custom. The same murder of babies that Yuri Karpov mentions, they say, they starved newborn girls, it could not be a custom. These are most likely special cases. Or the beating of old parents in the memoirs of Abdul Omarov. Or levirate and sororate - when a man marries the widow of his deceased brother or a woman marries her sister’s widowed husband in order to raise her children. Yes, if a phenomenon has received its name, this means something, this is already a kind of marking. But we can talk about a “custom” only if this happens in every second family. If we consider a traditional Dagestan family, we can state the following - the absolute absence, well, with rare exceptions, of domestic violence. Because a man who hits a woman was considered a weakling. There was a proverb: to judge whether a wife is good, look at the sleeves of her husband's Circassian coat; to find out what kind of husband she is, look at her face. The faces of Dagestani women were always open; a bruise, abrasion, or tear-stained eyes would be noticeable. Sometimes they explain it this way: she has a father, a brother, if you try to touch her, they will immediately take her away.

“It’s good that they’ll take it away, but divorce is a complicated matter even now.” These are property issues, first of all. Who takes the TV and who gets the dressing table.

— On the plain, where there was a purchased marriage, and there was a classic form of dowry, the husband paid his wife’s parents a certain amount. And they used this money as they wanted, they could buy her a dowry with this money, they could keep it for themselves. But it’s another thing in the mountains, there they often gave land as a dowry, it was her property and in case of divorce the woman took the dowry in full. True, she could not claim the cabin money. Now I will explain to you what it is. Now, when I, say, get married, there is such a cab, the amount agreed upon in front of witnesses. It was different in different villages. She was different for different girls, if she was beautiful, then they gave more for you and tede. The woman had never seen the cab money, but she knew that if she got divorced due to her husband’s fault, he would pay her the cab money. Or, if he dies, his family must pay her this amount or the equivalent - a house, livestock. This is her social guarantee, insurance. That is, in the mountains women had more responsibilities and work, but they were still more independent, including financially. Men left to work, and then they had to get out and do everything themselves, including sometimes men’s work. But when the man returned, he tried not to disturb the daily routine and life established by this woman. Because he will leave again, and she will have to restore all this.

— Who should the child stay with during the divorce?

— As a rule, with my husband. Especially if it's a boy. Among the Avars, even if a woman divorced while pregnant, she had to give birth in the house of her ex-husband. Sometimes the baby stayed with his mother until she breastfed him and only then went to her husband’s house. Whether she wanted it or not, it was the way it was supposed to be. In addition, the woman was returning to her parents’ home, and neither the father nor the brother would tolerate someone else’s child there, the successor of someone else’s family and surname. This belongs to the house from which she has already left. There was also a motivational moment here; in rare cases, a woman would get divorced while having children. And very rarely a child (and even then, as a rule, only a girl) could stay with the mother. But the father had to pay child support.

- Okay, let's take a break from the sad topic of divorce, let's go back to the very beginning of marriage. Well, a daughter-in-law came to my husband’s family. What was her status? To whom did she report and who could she command? And when was her “promotion” expected?

“Her status, of course, was not high. Especially if there were also daughters-in-law in the house, wives of older brothers. Now let’s do this, here all the customs and traditions have a zonal feature. The plain is one thing, the mountains and foothills are another. And in the mountains, again, in feudal estates there are one order, in a free society another. Now, I’ll explain it to you. On the plain there is a large family organization, when all the married sons live together, under one roof. They have a common household, only separate rooms. And there is the Supreme Commander-in-Chief - the father-in-law. Or his eldest son replacing him. And all household chores - kitchen, raising children, buying groceries, cleaning, washing - are the responsibility of the mother-in-law. She is like the Khansha of the house.

Many peoples of the Caucasus considered a pregnant woman to be sacredly unclean, but the Dagestanis did not; on the contrary, they had a very respectful attitude towards her.

And intrafamily relationships were regulated by the custom of avoidance, the classical form of which was characteristic only of the Kumyks and Nogais. This is when for many years (or even until the end of her life), the daughter-in-law who came to the house did not have the right to speak directly with her father-in-law. Unless he specifically gave her a gift and thereby allowed her to communicate with him. And the mother-in-law, due to the fact that she often had to deal with her daughter-in-law about housework, gave such permission much earlier. But she might not have given it out of harm. This did not happen in the mountains, where families were nuclear and, after getting married, the son separated and lived, as a rule, in his own house. Only the youngest stayed with his parents and brought his wife there too. You know, we’re used to thinking: “Oh, she’s unhappy, poor, she obeyed everyone...”. Yes, she had to work from morning to evening. Moreover, God forbid, if the mother-in-law gets up earlier. God forbid if she goes to bed before her mother-in-law. But she did not work for someone else’s uncle, but for herself, for her family. And when she was expecting a child... Many peoples of the Caucasus considered a pregnant woman to be sacredly unclean, but the Dagestanis did not, on the contrary, they had a very respectful attitude towards her. She was considered, how to say, an angel! It was believed that you couldn’t offend her, you had to treat her, and you couldn’t talk about any such forbidden things in front of her. The birth of a child, especially a son, greatly strengthened her position, and over time she herself became a “Khansha”.

“And she got the opportunity to take it out on her daughters-in-law.” Amazing! This is what I also wanted. Yuri Karpov’s book “Dzhigit and the Wolf” very well describes male unions. Did women have similar ones? And I also read from someone about a secret women’s language. I’m curious, what did they talk about in this language that they wanted to hide from the men?

- Well, women’s language, firstly, it was not for everyone, but for a specific age group, and they did not always speak this language, but in specific situations, most often at spring holidays, where they did not want to be heard. And women’s unions, exactly in the form in which they existed among men (with age gradation, year-round) were recorded only among the Kubachi people... Other peoples of Dagestan did not have women’s unions in such a refined form, but some communities gathered at certain times of the year . More often in winter, or during calendar holidays. Before the Midwinter Festival in Western Dagestan, for example, women gathered: married women, old women, and young girls. Women also often gathered for mutual aid actions. Spinning threads, shelling corn, carding felt, that is, any household work that required such massive labor participation. Sometimes these were closed, women-only “gatherings,” and sometimes girls gathered at some widow’s house and young guys were invited there. It was an opportunity to meet someone, to communicate within the limits of decency and etiquette. And here they needed their own language, well, in order, perhaps, to say something that men would judge you for. A woman is always a woman, maybe she will want to say that this man looks good, handsome, handsome, all that. But I can’t admire someone else’s man out loud! And then a secret language comes into play to tell your girlfriends what cannot be said in front of people. It is possible that the man would not understand the extent of my promiscuity. Because a promiscuous woman is not a good woman.

Svetlana Anokhina

The problem of smart women
(Artist John McCarthy)
In modern culture, a woman knows very precisely what “woe from mind” is. If creating an atmosphere of responsibility, fortitude, and logical actions around herself is a priority for a woman, then she immediately faces opposition from a fairly large part of men.

Men begin to ignore an intelligent woman, not allow her into their world, and often, to one degree or another, take revenge on her, punish her for the “stupidity” of her intelligent behavior. As soon as a man realizes that with an intelligent woman he will not be able to be a fool at least sometimes, he begins to push her out of his field of vision. I’m not talking about tomfoolery and childishness, an intelligent woman is rich in humor and is not averse to fooling around, but about banal stupidity.

Why do some men not want an honest relationship?

The fact is that a self-respecting woman, and self-respect is a consequence of her intelligence, stops playing typical womanly games with men based on feelings of guilt. She strives to create honest and open relationships, which are often not needed by men, who prefer to expect unreasonable praises from women and unquestioning write-offs of all nonsense.

Men are able to recognize a dangerous mind in a woman literally from her first words or movements. The interlocutor may not even reflect at all, but the nonverbal message of her face, hands, gait, body is very expressive and intelligible.

The mind reveals in a woman new facets of understanding personal beauty, freedom, sexuality, this is a new way to enjoy life. A woman cannot ignore it, so she is unable to hide it. On the other hand, the behavior of a superficial woman is just as expressive and plays on the easy accessibility of contact, while an intelligent woman is not inclined to make deliberately simple what cannot be simple.

How do men behave in the presence of an intelligent and free woman?

The reaction of men to the presence of an intelligent woman is sometimes surprising and funny (when it is not disgusting and rude). They literally don't hear what she says, don't notice her actions. This sometimes surprises them. An idea expressed by an intelligent woman is literally perceived as one’s own, and the woman’s claims to authorship are declared absurd. He may not say hello or turn his back and be sincerely surprised when he notices his “misstep,” which is not far from hidden or overt irritation.

Women's games on feelings of guilt are an adequate, historically established mechanism that ensures women's survival in conditions of physical and social superiority of men. You need to be a little mommy for a man, in some cases take responsibility for his actions in order to cause his infantile behavior. As soon as a man begins to act like a fool, after a terrible scandal, all his idiotic antics are forgiven, and along with this forgiveness, a leash woven from duty, gratitude and guilt is placed around his neck.

Does a smart woman need such an old child?

Stupid men are satisfied with this situation - it gives them a chance not to grow up, not to waste time on sometimes difficult introspection, this makes it possible to transfer responsibility for all failures to “mommy”, and attribute all the merits to themselves. Failures, according to the rules of a woman’s game, are welcomed and are woven with new threads into the leash, providing a stupid but cunning woman with confidence in the future: “I won’t be lost with this idiot.”

But a smart woman does not want to live with an idiot who is afraid of her like fire. More precisely, in an intelligent woman, men are afraid of the obvious need to answer for their actions, first of all, to themselves. It is precisely the fact that you have to answer for nonsense not to yourself, but to “mommy”, that makes the woman’s game of leash so attractive to men. Because “mommy” can be bypassed one way or another (within the limits of the leash), but not by yourself.

An intelligent, free, independent woman is beautiful!

As a result, smart women who have abandoned women's games and are looking for honest relationships find themselves pushed out by society. On the field of sexual public games, stupid but cunning women do not at all perceive smart women as competitors. Smart people do not want to “play by the rules”, and because of this, within the framework of these “rules” that form unfree, dependent relationships between men and women, smart people “lose” - it is much more difficult for them to find a mate.

Which is strange. A woman who does not play women's games is beautiful! You can trust her, she will never test you, because she herself values ​​​​trust. She knows how to understand that forgiveness is much more important. She is no less demanding of herself, or even more, than of you, so you do not need to control her actions. She will honestly tell you the truth not only about you, but also about herself. One can only feel sorry for men who trade their freedom for the right to be a fool on a string. I don’t think that the situation of men’s fear of smart women as a social trend can change soon, although there is a movement towards the maturation of men in society.

Is strength necessary if there is intelligence?

Sometimes there is an opinion that men do not like strong women for the same reason that women do not like weak men. They say that the balance of power in the family should always be unambiguous - the male has the last word and the right to direct and coordinate common efforts.

There is confusion here - strength and intelligence are not at all mutually exclusive concepts, as strange as it may seem to men who justify their desire to have the right to tyranny with physical strength. We are talking about growing up, about the fact that with physical age, people’s goals, values, and meanings in life can change.

A forty-year-old man who retains his teenage values ​​and disgraces himself and his family with a twenty-year-old waitress is pathetic. Equally depressing is the picture of the relationship between a stern, powerful woman and a depressed, balding “big” boy. These are not adults, not free, not developing relationships.

The nature of male and female is completely different and this difference, which forms the basis of the beauty of our relationships, should not be blurred.

The masculine principle is revolutionary, active, it is the movement of a person towards God, it is paving the way in the unknown, it is overcoming and obtaining results.

The feminine principle is evolutionary, observational, it is the movement of God towards man, it is concern for relationships, about space, it is attention to the quality of the process.

Every person has feminine and masculine principles, and the main secret of long-term relationships lies in mutual learning. A man learns from a woman to feel, accept, empathize, he strengthens his results with intuition, a deeper and more multifaceted understanding of responsibility for his actions. At the same time, an intelligent man remains a man - he includes these skills, integrates them, becomes bigger, smarter with them.

A woman learns from a man strong-willed decisions, purposeful activity, the ability to act proactively, logically calculate options and always get exactly the desired results. At the same time, an intelligent woman remains a woman - she includes these skills, integrates them, becomes bigger, smarter with them.

What does a man give up when he refuses a relationship with an intelligent woman?

A man’s refusal to have a relationship with an intelligent and free woman in favor of an easily accessible master of woman’s tricks is a refusal to grow up, to become even stronger with age, to achieve even more significant results, to experience life more fully, to have a bright mind and a deep soul. A man who has overcome his groundless, but seemingly so real fear of losing his strength in front of an intelligent woman, gets the opportunity to live a decent, varied life, in which there is a place for all his truly masculine qualities of wise leadership, responsibility and strong-willed lawmaking.

Women do not like weak men because they are weak-willed and immature. The word “weakness” has no physiological meaning here. Sometimes inside the ostentatious pornographic appearance of a masculine male lives the petty soul of a dependent teenager, striving to hide his moral and intellectual impotence from himself and others. A woman does not love a weak man because he has not yet grown out of short pants. A man doesn’t love an intelligent woman because he is seriously afraid that his aunt will take off his pants and spank his ass.

Is there a solution to the problem of smart women?

Dear women, who are aware of the rationality that was so difficult for you! There are three news for you - good, bad and million dollar.

I'm sure smart women would prefer to find out first bad news.

It lies in the fact that there is no complete and final solution to the problem of smart women if you want to solve it regarding a stupid man. There are, however, forms of influence that can give you an advantage and turn the situation in your favor. But if this article is really for you, then you are unlikely to want a long-term relationship with a person whose communication is so superficial.

Good news The point is that a smart man who won't force you to sacrifice his maturity for the sake of his own illusions doesn't have the same problem as smart women.

Fortunately, the solution to the problems of growing up cannot be formulated as a short final paragraph to an article in which you were able to recognize yourself and your friends. I repeat - to joy, because it would be sad if life turned out to be so mediocrely simple and monotonous that you and your unique destinies could be opened with a primitive master key.

There is an invaluable experience of men and women living together for a long time and, in the psychological sense of the word, growing together. There are personality types with unique approaches to problem solving. There are new stages of development that introduce new degrees of freedom, from which many questions of the previous stages turn out to be much simpler. There are practices that pave the way for you to achieve your inherent wisdom and genius. There are ways to manage your emotional state, ways to increase your own impact on the world.

A million dollar news is that there is no such clear-cut polarity as intelligence and stupidity. From many years of psychological practice, I know that every person has enough of both. This opens up space for change, for acquiring new skills and abilities that can enrich your life in every sense of the word. I wish you, glorious, beautiful, subtle creatures, many joys that you can receive, albeit difficult, but through exceptionally grateful daily development, and not by giving up who you are.

(c) Balyaev Anatoly.

Is it easy to be the wife of a misogynist?

That all men are assholes is an axiom known to women a long time ago. Well, of course, not all men, but very many, think that women are fools. They are fools, but a man with a normal sexual orientation still has no escape from them. We have to adapt, learn to live next to these creatures in skirts.

Guys, you are not alone! For more than two years now, there has been a “Misogynist Club” in Russia that helps men in this difficult matter.
Today the club has about 200 members, and its ranks are growing every day. Moreover, in the very near future, the men plan to register as a political party (fortunately, a presidential decree has come into force, simplifying this procedure). The MK correspondent met with the ideological leaders of the KZhN and found out all the details of the life of their club.

When preparing for the meeting, I honestly expected to see either cruel outcasts, or glamorous gays, or brutal jocks focused only on their bodies. But it turned out that the misogynists are quite pleasant and handsome young men. We met in the VIP room of the capital's sports bar, since that evening there was a match between CSKA and Spartak.

“We have privileges in many Moscow establishments,” says Alexander Romashat, chairman and founder of the club. — In car dealerships, law practices, travel agencies... This is because there are many of us and among the members there are a variety of people.

Alexander himself is a young and promising lawyer. Two years ago he had a tragedy in his personal life - his girlfriend left him. He worried and suffered for a long time, and then decided that he should not allow any woman to mock himself like that. It is necessary for women to know their place, including in a man’s life. And then he came up with the idea of ​​​​creating a “Misogynist Club”. First, friends joined it, then friends of friends... Today the club already has the status of an international organization: some of its members live in Europe, the USA and Thailand.

— Our meetings are held three times a year. This is what is written in the regulations,” explains Alexander. “And every member is required to attend at least one a year.” My wife didn’t let me in - this is not a valid reason.

- Wait, what wives? You are misogynists!

- Well, of course, “KZHN” is not against women, because we men cannot love other inhabitants of the planet, no matter how much we want. We are more in favor of normal relations between the sexes. Equal. And more often it turns out that in the family the woman rules the roost.

“And if a man cannot pacify his woman, then we do not accept him into our ranks,” military officer Andrei Zhigachev, an active member of the KZHN, enters the conversation. — I have a friend who has been asking to join the club for two years, but we don’t take him. Because he allows his common-law wife to yell at him in front of his friends. She doesn't let him go anywhere alone. We don't need such henpecked people!

A wife is not a wall

The guys said that some now active misogynists at one time came under pressure from women out of ignorance and inexperience. And then the guys had to be rescued by the whole club. For example, when one of their brothers became a father, the young wife immediately took him into her arms and stopped letting him go to friends at all. He could neither play football nor drink beer in the bathhouse. The chairman and several other members had to personally go to the young wife and persuade (demand) to change her attitude towards her husband.

REQUIREMENT #1

A woman should not limit men's freedom! The husband has the right to decide for himself where, with whom and how much time to spend. And having children does not mean that a man should turn into a nanny.

Of course, everything is good in moderation - and men should take part in the life of the family and in raising children. They must be responsible for their family, and this is what misogynists charge them with. But - within reasonable limits!

“For some reason, women are sure that men get together without them solely to cheat with their mistresses,” says Andrei Zhigachev. - But this is not always the case. One day our club decided to hold its next meeting on the Turkish coast. And many wives were indignant: they say, you can’t let a man go to Turkey for a week. Then the chairman and the initiative group posted an official statement on the KZHN website: so, they say, so, we guarantee that there will be no extraneous women at the meeting. And for those who are especially jealous, they promised to take almost second-by-second photographs of their husbands and post them on the Internet. And what do you think? This worked for many women.

To their credit, misogynists also make demands on their fellow men. Like, if you want to be treated on good terms, then please comply.

“Unfaithful husbands are not welcome at KZHN,” says the chairman. - All members know this. For example, one of the club members recently started a family and had a child. My wife has postpartum depression and has more than enough new worries. And the husband met a young girl and went on a spree. We all agreed and stopped communicating with him. We don’t invite you to parties, and we don’t invite you to play poker either. His wife is a good girl, she doesn’t know anything, and we, of course, didn’t tell her about his adventures.

Photo from the archive of Evgeny Karpitsky

“We helped her,” another community activist, a young successful businessman Evgeniy Karpitsky, enters the conversation. “I don’t have a wife myself, but I have three sisters.” And I know what women need. In short, the baby and I looked after her, and she was able to go to the hairdresser and go shopping.

“And this traitor quickly finished his tricks,” summarizes Alexander Romashat. “Because it may be good with a mistress, but with friends it’s much better.”

A woman's place in the family of a misogynist

REQUIREMENT #2

A woman should treat her man with understanding! If he feels bad because of a quarrel, you can’t play on your nerves and enjoy your power, you need to quickly go to peace. And if she doesn’t do this, it means she doesn’t care about the guy - and she should send such a lifelong friend to hell.

Evgeniy Karpitsky is known in KZHN as the most implacable misogynist. This is what they most often say about him: he really hates women. But he himself believes that this is not so, he is simply strict but fair. In addition, he understands female psychology better than anyone else: communication with three sisters has an effect. And it is he who most often helps guys make peace with their lovers.

“Seryoga had a fight with a girl (by the way, it was his own fault),” says Zhenya, “he was very worried, but the woman turned out to be harmful - she didn’t want to forgive him. And so he is, and so on. And one of the most important functions of our club is to help guys who find themselves in difficult life situations psychologically. We treated him and treated him. They took me fishing and to the bathhouse, but he just won’t come to his senses. We decided that we would have to reconcile them. We assembled a mini-orchestra (I, for example, played the saxophone), learned a serenade and played it under this girl’s window. Snot in sugar, of course, but what to do when a friend disappears. They are still together.

REQUIREMENT #3

Under no circumstances should a wife be rude to her husband in public, argue with him, much less shout or insult him. Husband and wife are one Satan, and all disputes between themselves must be carried out without witnesses.

Misogynists are convinced that a wife should always support her husband in everything, especially in public. And then at home, one on one, you can figure it all out.

A separate topic is the attitude towards money. Girls who perceive their boyfriends solely as cash cows are not accepted by misogynists at all.

“Of course, the husband must support the family,” Evgeniy argues, “but still, the woman must also stand on her own two feet.” And, besides, keep the house in order and not strain me with washing the dishes (I’ll strain myself if necessary).

REQUIREMENT #4

A woman can inspire a man to make money, but she cannot squeeze all the juice out of him. And always help him in the difficult task of supporting his family - if not with his own earnings, then with affection, care and creating home comfort.

The misogynists are a close-knit clan, helping each other in everything: from resolving employment issues to legal assistance in problems with the police and raising money for expensive operations. It often happened that men supported each other in matters of raising offspring. Picking up from kindergarten/school to do homework - no problem.

Activists of the KZHN after its congress. Photo from the archive of Evgeny Karpitsky

“Many of them already communicate with their families, and their children are friends. We have high hopes for this young generation - they will grow up in the spirit of real misogynists,” says Chairman Alexander.

Women and barbecue are incompatible concepts

“Initially, our club was organized as a joke,” recalls Evgeny Karpitsky. “But in two years it grew into something much more.” This is large-scale male mutual assistance and mutual support in all matters. Our immediate plans are to create our own party. It is very fortunate that the president has now simplified the procedure for registering political movements. By the way, if he wants, we will be happy to accept him into our ranks. And we will give out the misogynist’s honorary panties.

- That is?

— Upon joining, all new members of the club are given our branded underpants with the “KZHN” emblem. The main thing is that if you are a misogynist, then you must wear them on your first date with a girl,” Zhenya explains in all seriousness.

The political program of the future party has not yet been fully formed. However, it is already known that misogynists plan to help defend the interests of fathers in the courts.

“Because they are too disadvantaged here, in Russia,” says Alexander. “And women have become bitchy, often after a divorce they do not allow their ex-husband to communicate with the child.

The misogynists are also planning to ensure that women also undergo compulsory military service. They believe that this will benefit many representatives of the fairer sex, and see this as an important educational moment. And although the guys understand that not everyone will like their ideas, they still plan to find a sufficient number of associates.

One of the most important events in the life of the club is the congress. Where can men go? Of course, go fishing! For two years in a row they have been going to a forest lake near Torzhok. According to the regulations, there are three such events a year. These are not banal drinking parties, this is an organized event where club members are initiated, problems and plans are discussed, arm wrestling championships and the signature game of misogynists - golf with a soccer ball and feet instead of clubs. By the way, morning exercises are required on all days of the congress.

Naturally, there should be no women at these gatherings. This is a purely men's event. Like pre-wedding stag parties, the club arranges them for its members at its own expense.

“And to get out, you just need to declare it,” says Evgeny Karpitsky. “But we no longer accept those who leave.

You can also leave the ranks of misogynists for drunkenness, unworthy behavior, or failure to comply with regulations. And in addition to wearing branded panties on the first date, there are a number of rules. For example, take the club flag with you on vacation abroad and take pictures with it near the main attractions.

This year, one important event will happen in the life of the “Misogynists Club” - a change in the current chairman is coming. The founder and ideological leader of the community gets married, but according to the regulations, a married man cannot lead the misogynists. Therefore, back in March, the community began its own election race. There are three candidates: Evgeny Karpitsky, Andrei Zhigachev and the current chairman Alexander Romashat, who still hopes that members of the community will spit on the constitution (regulations) and leave him in power. The elections will be held at the traditional May congress. There will be debates, speeches, election programs, ballots and ballot boxes. Alexander Romashat, now as ex-chairman, will perform the ritual of burying a flag and a bottle of whiskey in a secret place. If he gets divorced, this treasure will be dug up and drunk. And who knows, maybe there, on the picturesque shores of a forest lake, a real candidate for the President of the Russian Federation will grow up.