An ideal partner in all respects - no matter how much one would like to believe in romantic comedies - does not exist. But there are many imperfect men, with each of whom you could be very happy. But how can you tell if a guy is really right for you? Love, as you know, is evil, so you shouldn’t rely on instincts alone. Here are 5 signs by which you can understand that your new friend is exactly the one you need.

Sign #1: You respect each other.

Respect tops the list. And this is something that should be mutual. That is, to be considered suitable for a serious relationship, a man must respect you, and you, in turn, must respect him. How can you tell whether he respects you or not? Like this:

He treats you with respect if:

• ready to compromise;
• listens when you talk about your problems and feelings;
• notices when something is wrong and asks you about it;
• values ​​your opinion;
• appreciates you;
• I am truly happy for you when you achieve success in something.

Remember, for a relationship to be good, you need to demonstrate the same towards him.

If you find that one of you is unwilling to compromise and problems and feelings are ignored, or you notice that something is wrong but do not ask, these are signs that there is a lack of respect. . If one of you brushes off the other's opinion as if it is unimportant, obviously there is no respect at all.

Sign #2: He Has the Qualities You're Looking for

Ideally, you should already know what qualities are truly important to you in a partner. Trying to figure this out after the fact while in a relationship can lead to serious problems.

If you haven’t decided yet, make a list of qualities that are important to you. Choose at least 10 traits you look for in a man. Write them down in order of decreasing priority. Take a good look at the list and cross off a few qualities that aren't that important. The idea is to leave the top 5 or even top 3 absolutely irreplaceable qualities that are fundamental to you.

All this must be done keeping two points in mind. First, remember: no one is perfect. If you're looking for Mr. Perfect, stop doing it: it's no use. Secondly, you shouldn't settle for a "just nice" guy. After all, we are talking about finding a truly suitable man.

Compare your list of the 5 most important character traits with the man with whom you are currently interested in a relationship. Remember that these are very important qualities for you, so if he does not meet all of them, there is a high probability that he is not suitable for you. And if you feel attracted to him, later you can remember this relationship as that same “love of evil” situation.

Sign #3: You have the same values

What do you value in life? What comes first and what comes second in your value system? How do you see your future? If you don't share the same values, consider that a very good sign.

Values ​​are something that should be discussed up front. Don't try to guess what he values ​​most in life, ask him yourself! If he doesn't seem to have them or can't articulate them clearly, then this can be seen as another red flag. Psychologically, an adult man with an already established worldview is quite flexible, but has clear views on life.

Sign #4: Your intuition tells you that he is the one.

You cannot rely only on intuition, but you cannot ignore it either. Intuition involves more than just physical attraction. It connects to that place deep inside where you “just know and that’s it.” If you are internally confident for no reason that a person is right for you, perhaps this really is so.

Sign #5: You can be yourself with him.

If someone wants to change you or cannot love you with all your shortcomings, then he is definitely not right for you. So, if you can be yourself when you're around him, he might be exactly what you need. A man should accept not only the good in you, but also your weaknesses and shortcomings. With him you feel free and calm.

Remember these 5 signs when evaluating a candidate for a special place in your life, and the chances of “and they lived happily ever after” will increase.

09.21.2016 at 11:04

In the article you will learn:

What kind of man do I need in terms of character?

Hi all! When a girl thinks "what kind of man do I need"to choose a life partner, she 95% will be wrong. Because due to her little experience and knowledge, she simply doesn’t understand the psychological characteristics of people, she doesn’t even understand herself! Therefore, she is not able to choose a chosen one who will satisfy her needs.

I suggest you work on this. Because I am sincerely convinced that a person is happy only when he knows exactly who and what he wants (but this does not mean that this is exactly the result he will get. You need to be flexible with the Universe.). If you come to the store without specific purchase goals, you will “hang” there for a long time, and end up leaving with some garbage, an unnecessary blouse or ridiculous pants. Does this happen to you? For me this is a common situation☺

A few important questions

To understand what kind of man you need, answer the question that any psychologist who has at least a little understanding of human psychology will ask you. So, why or why do you need a man? Most often, there is a long thoughtfulness and the first thing that comes to mind is: to love, to have a good time together, to date, for the soul.

But then a logical question will follow: why date, why love, why family, what does it mean for the soul? A mature experienced woman knowshow to answer. It’s difficult for the rest, right? However, what is in our heads is what we get in life.

If you have only a vague idea, then in the net you will come across a fish that is only partly suitable for you. Can Alphonse love? Maybe. Can it be emotional with a lazy person? Maybe. But are these the kind of characters you want in your life?

If not, then I suggest first determining why you need a stronger sex. What life and personal problems do you want to solve? That is, we will first determine your needs and needs.

Several useful tests

A man is certainly not a thing, but the thinking strategy for his choice is similar to going to the store. You go there for a reason, but need pushes you. If you want to keep warm in winter, buy a warm fur coat; if you want to be hired, buy a business suit, etc. So it is with the future chosen one, before choosing by social, financial status and the nature, answer the question: what needs will you satisfy with the help of the stronger sex (sounds cynical, but this is just a process that will help you understand yourself).

To make it clearer and easier, use tests, of which there are many on the Internet. Prefer ones like " Hierarchy of needs» modified by I.A. Akindinova, Morphological test of life values, test of life-meaning orientations. They can be found at this site.

Homework

Here I offer you another test that will help you figure out what you are looking for in the male part of humanity. You need to evaluate yourself according to the criteria listed below first (as it is), then the ideal partner for you (as it should be). Rate from 1 to 10 points, where 1 point is the lowest score, 10 points is the highest.

Self-assessment table:

1. Self confidence
2. Visual appeal
3. Emotional need
4. Sexuality
5. Intellectual abilities
6. Material wealth
7. Empathy (the ability to understand the feelings of others)
8. Social status (position in society)
9. Charismatic (ability to please others)
10. Sense of humor
11. Ability to make decisions and take responsibility

Here are the basic needs that people experience. TO self confidence applies

• self-esteem,
• self-respect,
• ability to stand up for oneself,
• a feeling of how solid and safe you feel in life.

Visual appeal characterizes the beauty of the face and body.

Emotional need is expressed in spiritual comfort: some people need a feeling of trust, unity, security, while others need wide boundaries and space for creativity. Since this level is quite difficult to understand, rely on intuition.

Sexuality expresses the need for intimacy and frequency of sexual contacts. Intellectual abilities are associated with the ability to think and correctly interpret information and evaluate people. Material wealth associated with the need for physical goods (housing conditions, comfort of movement, buying good things, etc.). You can add at your discretion those qualities that are important to you and are not taken into account in the table above.

Analysis of results

Now compare the results. For example, if you rated your ability to make decisions as 4 points, and your ideal partner as 7, then you need a man who will satisfy your need to make decisions. That is, you need a head of the family who will independently take responsibility for himself and for you.

If your material wealth is 8, and your partner’s is 5, it means that his financial situation is not very important to you. Therefore, you should not focus on the state of your wallet, even if others say so.

One more important detail. It happens that a husband is chosen in accordance with your desires and dreams, but there is still no happiness in family life. This is due to the fact that due to little experience, many are unable to objectively assess certain abilities, skills and character traits. If you are not a supporter of love in spite of, in spite of everyone and yourself, and want to avoid divorce in the future, then learn to understand people.

How to make the right choice

Communicate as much as possible with different men, think about their behavior, compare words and actions. Study specialized literature, analyze the experience of other people. But do it without fanaticism, and naturally without forcing yourself.

The Internet is full of articles describing different types of men. Do not rush to take this knowledge into service. Such bright representatives are extremely rare. If you start trying them on real people, you will get nothing but a bunch of labels. And shortcuts and templates only harm your perception. More often in life, all types are mixed and individual.

Also I will also upset those who like to look for a husband horoscope. Popular magazines will stuff you with average and stereotyped information that is only partially true and does not take into account many aspects. The fact is that professional astrology works only when a person’s natal chart is compiled and analyzed. This is a person’s horoscope, which is built according to the time and place of his birth.

Therefore, if you are assured that an Aries will suit you because he is decisive, courageous, strong-willed, and these are exactly the qualities that you are looking for. This does not mean that any particular Aries that you meet on your life’s path will suit you. Since there are few typical representatives of Aries.

His horoscope contains planets that strengthen or weaken certain areas of life and character traits. These are called aspects. Therefore, you can meet a determined Aries, who in reality turns out to be a stupid stubborn person.

If you want to truly evaluate your compatibility, then ask astrologer to make synastry by providing your and your partner’s birth details. But even in this case, keep in mind that the horoscope will tell you about your capabilities, and how you implement them depends on you.

How not to be disappointed

And here we gradually come to another thought that I want to convey to you. Stick to your goals and do not try to get from a man what he cannot give. The fact is that priorities change throughout life and external circumstances interfere. But this does not mean that with every breeze of change, you need to change your man.

Each man has a special character, a certain upbringing and temperament. You may like brutal and independent handsome men, but if you marry them, you may end up completely unhappy just because this type of man is completely unsuitable for you. So we can fully explain the painful question that constantly spins in the heads of those women who are in the process of actively searching for their soulmate: “Which man is right for me?” It turns out that the answer to this question can be easily obtained using a conventional psychological test.

You might be interested to immediately read:

Psychological test “What type of man is right for me?”

1. Which dating method do you consider the most acceptable for yourself?

a) with a bouquet of flowers presented secretly – 1 point;

b) in a nightclub – 2 points;

c) a long and piercing look, inviting you to make an acquaintance – 3 points;

d) an unexpected acquaintance, which, as it turns out later, was planned in advance - 4 points.

2. What kind of courtship and attention do you expect from a man?

a) flowers, declarations of love, constant tender SMS on the phone – 1 point;

b) exciting touches, passionate kisses, tight hugs – 2 points;

c) meetings from work, regular calls, dinners at a restaurant - 3 points;

d) dates on the roofs of houses or abandoned vacant lots, joint games of chess or billiards - 4 points.

3. When you are next to a man, what do you want most?

a) tell him about a new work that you just started reading - 1 point;

b) have passionate sex with him – 2 points;

c) see him at your feet – 3 points;

d) win against him in the next argument - 4 points.

4. How do you imagine a night of love?

a) mandatory candlelit dinner – 1 point;

b) violent passion all night long – 2 points;

c) with a champagne bath with rose petals – 3 points;

d) during breaks you can play computer games – 4 points.

5. How would you like a man to behave with you among friends and acquaintances?

a) to gently hold your hand and not let go – 1 point;

b) to flirt and turn on you with just one glance - 2 points;

c) to let everyone know that you are the most beautiful, unique and the only one in his life - 3 points;

d) casually, modestly, with dignity and with all his strength, he would let you know that he wants to leave here with you as soon as possible - 4 points.

6. What is your sign that your relationship is getting serious?

a) he introduced you to his family – 1 point;

b) he already knows what you expect from him in bed – 2 points;

c) he gives exactly what you want - 3 points;

d) he finally confessed his love to you – 4 points.

7. How do you feel about the lipstick mark on his collar?

a) it will be stressful for you, you will cry all night, and the next morning you will start a scandal - 1 point;

b) return from work smelling of someone else’s men’s perfume – 2 points;

c) this is the machinations of envious people, you do not doubt him - 3 points;

d) this is his problem, not yours – 4 points.

8. While walking together, you unexpectedly run into his ex-girlfriend - what reaction do you expect from him?

a) he should lower his eyes, and not even look at her, and squeeze your hand tighter - 1 point;

b) let him greet her impudently and boldly and kiss you in front of her - 2 points;

c) he won’t even notice her, but ideally he had no one at all before you, he is a monogamous person, and you are the only love in his life - 3 points;

d) let them talk, they probably have something to talk about after the breakup - 4 points.

Results of the psychological test “What type of man suits me?”

8-12 points

Only sensitive romantic can make up the happiness of your whole life and understand the depth of your vulnerable nature. And in no case do not despair in your search: modern knights also exist, you just need to recognize them and see them in the men around you. You need someone who will read romantic poems on moonlit nights, will sit with you after midnight and have intimate conversations, and will certainly not forget the day you met. A rude lout and a walking Casanova will only break your heart, so make no mistake!

13-20 points

But your type of man is that brutal and stylish handsome man Lovelace. Crazy and sexy, he will be able to give you such pleasure, the existence of which you never even knew existed before. You need a bright, beautiful, rich life, which only this type of man can provide you with. Yes, he will flirt with other women, but this will only spur you on, and your passion will only flare brighter. But with a boring romantic, you will soon wither away and long-term stress is guaranteed.

21-26 points

You painfully chew on your pencil and ask yourself the same question: “What type of man is right for me?” Calm down: you need conqueror, who will long and persistently first seek you out, and then endure all your whims. It will give you reliability and confidence in relationships. Behind this you will feel calm and warm, like behind a stone wall. He will prepare coffee for you in the morning and fluff up the feather bed in the evening. Only with him you will feel like a real queen.

27-32 points

Search secret agent- only such a man can make such an intelligent and highly intelligent woman like you happy. Intrigues, psychological riddles, intellectual duels and labyrinths - this is what will make your life truly filled with meaning. You will never be bored with him, and your bright and interesting marriage will be very strong. Most often, such men are laconic, serious and achieve a lot in life, so he will also be able to provide you with all material things.

The results have been calculated, the type of suitable man has been determined, and your internal search engine has probably already considered all the options that in one way or another fit the description of your type. Well, the question is “Which man is right for me?” has lost its relevance, and a new one pops up: “Which of your friends fits this type?” We wish you a successful search, direct guidance and an accurate hit - right to the heart!

This guy can be seen from afar. The “man lover” is independent and daring. At the same time, he shows himself to be a gallant gentleman, knows how to behave around a woman so that she feels like number one. Women immediately pay attention to the “male lover”. He is afraid of obligations and avoids them. He is easily frightened by the words “wedding”, “child”, “parents”, “future”. He will be delightful in bed and can be a very pleasant conversationalist, but he will never allow you to claim his freedom, and you don’t need that.

If you choose a “male lover”, then you accept the terms of the game, when everyone is for himself. He won’t come to change your tire (he has a lot of things to do, and even if not, you won’t know about it simply because it wouldn’t occur to you to ask him about it, because there are special services). More than anything else, he cares about himself. If today this is your type, then we will add only one thing: a relationship without responsibility is an irresponsible relationship. What can happen? A “male lover” can “go into the fog,” disappear for no apparent reason, without any explanation, and not pick up the phone. You will never know what really happened. What else? An attachment may occur that will very quickly push him away.