And steals? Money is an integral part of our life. Children begin to understand this from infancy. One child, having stolen once, will repent and never do it again. Another, having felt the “taste”, continues to do the same, despite persuasion and punishment. In this article we will try to understand the reasons for theft and the behavior of parents in order to avoid the possibility of raising a child to be an antisocial personality.

Reasons for theft

It's a big problem in families when children steal. This means that they are suffering. Children do not always understand their suffering themselves or do not think about it. Because they perceive their inappropriate behavior too painfully. If a child starts stealing, then this alarm signal cannot be missed. By hiding or rejecting the idea that the things that appear in the house, supposedly found on the street or donated by a friend, were actually simply stolen by the child, parents lose the opportunity to eradicate the addiction in the bud. The first task of parents is to find out why children steal and how to wean their child from it.

The incorrect model of behavior of mothers and fathers is manifested in their lack of vision of the baby’s bad behavior. Some people consider it a meaningless act if a child takes someone else’s thing. In their work, parents do not see changes in their child’s behavior or his increased needs. This is a manifestation of general pedagogical illiteracy.

Why does the baby steal? There are several options for child theft:

• The child does this only sometimes. He carries all sorts of small things, but only in the right situation.
• The child, despite scandals, physical and moral punishment, often steals, everything, in a variety of situations.

In the first option, there is a possibility that, given a favorable environment, theft will come to naught. In the second, there is a loss of time in raising a child. There is a danger that the child will grow up to be an antisocial person. In practice, such children no longer fully control their urges to steal. But this is not the only problem. Studying is not going well, there is no understanding in relationships with peers, there is no desire to do anything at all. This means that volitional control is lost. During a school crisis, from the age of 7-8, the child’s needs grow, and the uncontrollable desire to have a certain thing intensifies.

Adult example

A child in adolescence more often copies his “ancestors”. It is for this reason that children of parents in prison for theft reach into the pocket of the person standing next to them. Unfortunately, this happens extremely often.

Heroic or shameful act?

How to stop an 8 year old child from stealing? Most often, he steals not because he is in great need and lacks pocket money. The reason may be the desire to stand out among your friends, to get approval from them, to seem cooler. It is no secret that children do not see theft as a crime. In their environment, this is taken as “sleight of hand.” This behavior is approved by the children gathered in the group, especially in adolescence. It is the herd instinct that most often pushes a child from a financially prosperous family to commit theft. Stories about the “heroic deed” - theft of the leader of the courtyard community, provoke other, more weak-willed children to the same feats. Children are interested in being surrounded by strong guys. If a child's self-esteem is low, he will steal and brag about it for no other reason than to avoid appearing weak.

If a child in childhood was not explained “what is good and what is bad”, if they were not taught moral standards, reinforcing all this with their behavior, the child as a person can be lost forever. Children are the raw material from which a self-sufficient personality is molded. Psychologists have studied a situation where a child of wealthy parents is involved in theft, whose family may well seem exemplary, but there is a problem, and it must be solved. The parents' mistake in upbringing begins at the moment when they are touched by his enterprise when he brings him home from kindergarten. Parents with such behavior give the child the green light to take someone else’s property.

Extortion

It's no secret that older children can take money away from younger ones. A child who does not have a trusting relationship with his parents may subsequently not only steal money, but also take things out of the house.

That a child has become a victim of extortion can be determined by his behavior. He dodges, deceives, cries. If there is no trusting relationship in the family, he will hide the fact that he is being forced to steal. On the one hand, he is afraid of his parents’ misunderstanding and incorrect response to this, on the other hand, he is afraid of threats and beatings from his peers. If blackmail does come to light, when a child faces physical harm for disobedience, law enforcement agencies must intervene in the situation.

The motive for stealing with the best of intentions is somewhat different from other reasons. Not being able to give a gift to a close friend or relative, he may commit an unseemly act. In childhood, the moral rules of life are not yet fully formed. The desire to give a gift through theft is not yet inhibited by the principles of life.

Type of theft - impulsive

We will tell you later how to stop a child from stealing money. First, let's look at the types of this phenomenon. Despite the different reasons for theft, psychologists have identified several varieties of it.

Sometimes it is difficult for a child to resist the openly lying, desired thing. This is considered impulsive theft. The child understands that this is bad, that stealing is wrong, but the temptation is great, and the psyche is not yet stable. It is difficult for a child to resist the desire to possess this thing. Shame fades into the background.

Protest as a reason for theft

The reason for theft in the form of protest is the abandonment of a child in the family. Parents have little contact with their child, are passionate about work, hobbies, and recreation, but the child does not fit into these plans. Perhaps the child is loved, but he does not feel love. Loneliness becomes unbearable. The uselessness of his presence in the life of his parents has a serious consequence on the development of his psyche. Because of the desire to draw the attention of mom or dad to his existence, the child begins to steal. The brighter the parents’ response to his action (screams, scandal, tears, physical punishment), the more often the need to steal will arise so that the parents find out about it. After all, subsequently he becomes the center of attention of his parents for some time. They remember his existence. Protest reasons for theft can also be due to a large number of prohibitions in the family. If a child’s desire to have pocket money for his own needs is nipped in the bud, he will definitely start stealing. Such actions in this case are a struggle for independence, even in such a distorted form.

A child from a poor family cannot boast of a modern telephone to his peers. Therefore, it can become the subject of ridicule from wealthier children. To avoid this, a child may steal his parents’ money, thereby unconsciously taking revenge on them for the lack of financial well-being in his life. He blames his loser parents for this.

Kleptomania in children

The only theft considered a disease is kleptomania. The desire to steal is uncontrollable even in children with clearly established moral standards. The purpose of such theft is not to obtain material gain. This is a mental disorder, the presence of which can only be determined by a specialist - a psychiatrist. The disease requires mandatory drug treatment along with observation by a psychotherapist over the course of the pathology.

How to stop a child from stealing and lying? What can't you do?

Let's look at actions that parents should never do. Sometimes mothers and fathers, in their desire to wean their child from an addiction, act beyond the bounds of reason. So how to stop a child from stealing money? The psychologist’s advice sounds like this: “You can’t scold under any circumstances!” Threats to put a child in jail, call the police, or tell everyone about his actions will not lead to anything good. At this moment, children, more than ever, need the love, understanding and support of their parents. Do not threaten, do not be indignant, do not call a criminal, etc. words. Hanging such serious labels can seriously disturb the fragile psyche of a child and embitter his soul. How to stop a child from stealing without harming him? Let's look at what parents should not do:

1. Comparing a child unfavorably with other children also does not bode well for his future. What a bad child, how disgusting his actions are, in contrast to the neighboring baby angel. These are not the words that a child expects from his parents. Subsequently, this will lead to the child’s persistent conviction of his worthlessness and will humiliate his self-esteem. This will subsequently affect the main choice of direction of his life. This may also cause you to continue to want to steal.
2. You cannot discuss the problem of theft in front of strangers. If theft is discovered at a party or somewhere in a public place, then do not start a showdown right there. Such an act is discussed only in a familiar home environment for the child, in a quiet voice.
3. If the child said that this will never happen again, under no circumstances should you return to discussing the problem of theft until it is identified again. In this way, the child is made to understand that he is believed and loved.

The child is stealing. Reasons and ways to combat this unseemly act

Identifying the cause of theft and theft is one of the most important steps to eliminate future theft. This article has already discussed the reasons for this behavior in children. How to stop a child from stealing money from their parents? Each reason requires its own unique investigation:

1. If the reason is bad company, then it is necessary to gently lead the child to the idea that such friends should not be in his life.
2. Your child is financially secure, but he lacks the warmth of his mother and father, so give him this in abundance. Fill the gap in your love for him. Show with your actions how dear he is just the way he is. His action will not in any way affect your love for this little creature.
3. Did you understand yourself, or did the child admit it, that he was being blackmailed and extorted money. What to do? Your actions depend on the age of your child. If he is a primary school student, and the extortionists are senior students of this school, then what should he do? Perhaps it will be enough to contact the school principal with a complaint about the lack of safety for your child’s presence here. If the child himself is a high school student, and the extortionists are his classmates or peers from another class or school, then an older brother or father can solve this problem. An adult must meet with the blackmailers and firmly resolve the problem. If after this the child comes home depressed and beaten, then only contacting the police will lead to the desired result.
4. If the reason for the theft was the desire to give a gift to mom, but there was no money for it and the child chose this way of buying it, what should I do? He needs to gently explain how his mother is glad that he remembers her birthday, how she loves such a son (or daughter). But at the same time, it would be much more pleasant to say that if the present had been made with one’s own hands than to accept the gift knowing how it was acquired.

How to stop a child from stealing? Obligatory clarification of the child’s attitude towards his action is one of the guarantees of the absence of such actions in the future. You and your child must return the stolen item to the owner. The explanation for his actions when returning should not be discussed with outsiders. After all, it could have been a random, impulsive act.

Toy theft

If a child steals money from his parents, what should he do? The reaction to detection of theft from mom and dad should be adequate. That is, commensurate with the action and age of the child.

For example, many people are interested in how to stop a child from stealing toys. In this case, psychologists advise giving him the opportunity to get out of this situation on his own. For example, we are dealing with a child who is caught stealing for the first time. If the mother is convinced that it was her child who took someone else’s toy, she must be given the opportunity to return it unnoticed. The kid intuitively understands that he did the wrong thing. But he is ashamed to openly talk about it. Therefore, tell him: “Perhaps the brownie wanted to play with this machine? Let's convince him to give it up." Also, a mandatory psychological technique is to convince the child to tell in detail how it happened. Guilt must be proven. There is no guarantee that your son or daughter is justified in being accused of theft. Your child will benefit from your efforts to protect him. It’s a bad sign if, despite everything that has been proven, he lies and dodges to avoid responsibility. In this case, it is necessary to convey to him the impossibility of such behavior. Cheating is unacceptable towards other people. The principles of responsibility for misconduct have not been canceled. Your child must learn the order of life: if he stole, he must return it; if he caused harm, he must compensate for it; if he deceived a person, he must tell the truth. But under no circumstances should you force a confession. Then establishing the cause of the offense will be impossible. Repentance and recognition must be voluntary and bring pleasure from what has been done.

In the future, it is necessary to ensure that the child asks permission from adults before taking a certain thing.

Don't push the child away!

Psychologists give advice on this topic. How to stop a child from stealing so that it is painless for him? Don't push him away from you. Situations when it became known about his unseemly act require him to mobilize all his mental strength. Now he needs your care and love more than ever. Heartfelt conversations about his life and aspirations will help him survive his “fall” together with his mom and dad. Sharing emotional pain with loved ones will help the child avoid emotional trauma.

Now there is no way to leave the current situation unattended. How to stop a child from stealing? The psychologist’s advice on this issue is as follows: carefully monitor his surroundings, communicate more with the class teacher and teacher. The child spends a lot of time at school or kindergarten. Therefore, they will be able to see changes in his behavior. It is impossible not to react to the appearance of strange things in a child. It is well known that young children have a habit of exchanging toys. But if he brings expensive things from kindergarten, this serves as a reason to find out the reason for their appearance. Older children should be taught to save money for something they want to buy. These can be cash gifts for birthdays and other holidays. The child will listen to your advice not to squander the funds received if he is convinced that it is realistic to save them and buy what he wants.

How to stop a child from stealing from his parents? In a family, both parents must lead the same line of education. The attitude towards all children in the family should be the same. Only in these cases will you be sure that in the future they will not experience negativity towards each other. All grievances between close relatives have their roots in childhood.

Most parents in such a situation begin to ask themselves the question: “Why did this happen to my child? " Then confusion sets in, and then panic: “What will friends and relatives think now? " Then the time comes for other questions and complaints to oneself: “I’m a useless teacher! ” or “ Punish him so that he understands everything! “Each parent experiences a storm of emotions in such a situation. But it is important how parents react to this situation. Is this actually the first time this has happened, or is it just the first time they noticed their child stealing?

Of course, it is very bad if a child steals money. The concepts of “thief”, “theft” and “theft” are negative and inapplicable to children. Because the child’s world is full of fantasies and the real world is almost inseparable for him. The child cannot independently understand that his action is wrong. In addition, parents should approach this situation based on the age of the child. For example, if the child is still very small and is not yet five years old, his step cannot be called theft. Little ones don’t even know such concepts as “my” thing or “someone else’s”. From the age of five or six, a child will be able to understand that objects belong to someone. Therefore, until the age of five, he cannot restrain himself or his desires. He wants to take something and he will take this thing. For him there is no such thing as the value of objects. But adults do not pay attention to this side of the situation and begin to panic that their child is stealing money. I wonder if they won’t be shocked if a child takes a plastic trinket without asking, but if they take a valuable item, they will start scolding him. For a child, these things are interesting not at all because of their cost. He simply followed his impulse.

In such cases, the child simply needs to be explained what personal property is. You cannot take personal items without permission. In addition, parents should remember that many children at a young age can be selfish. They are driven by the desire to find something or take what they want. Parents are obliged to teach their child to take any things with the permission of the owner.

By the way, there are various reasons why children take someone else’s thing without permission.

Seeing a new interesting toy, a child often experiences a burning desire to get this thing. So, after waiting for an opportunity, he quietly takes the toy home. The reason for this action can be explained by the fact that children are not yet familiar with the division of things into “mine”, “yours” or “someone else’s”. You cannot immediately call a child a thief. He just needs to explain that he took someone else’s, and it’s not good to take other people’s toys. Parents must accompany their explanations with an analysis of a specific case. So that the child understands how another child will suffer if he loses his toy.

There are situations when a child takes money without permission to give a gift to his mother. This act is associated with the child’s lack of understanding of the negative side of theft. He wanted to do something nice for his loved one. However, he does not understand that for this he is doing the wrong thing. In addition, the child can present it in such a way that he “found” money. He needs to explain that the term “found” is not applicable in this case. The money he found does not belong to him, so he cannot keep it. Children should be taught from a young age that “found” money or things do not become the property of the person who found them. But in real life, even parents do not always do the right thing when they find ownerless things or money on the street or somewhere else. The child learns from the parent's example. If he constantly sees that his parents take things from the office or from neighbors, then another example is not needed.

By the way, children often steal to attract attention. Thus, they wish to attract the attention of elders or peers as the owner of an item.

Sometimes a child may steal because he feels like he doesn't have enough of what his friends have. For example, now many children have pocket money. If the parents do not have money for the child’s expenses, then sooner or later he will find ways to satisfy his personal needs. Adult children begin to steal deliberately in order to gain power or control. It happens that a child steals to take revenge on someone.

How to behave if a child steals money? Firstly, parents must first understand the reasons for what happened. Then you need to think about what led the child to this act. It is very important to carefully understand all the nuances of this act. Pay attention to whether the child brought the money openly or hid it. Maybe he just wanted to draw attention to himself? Maybe money gives him power over others?

It is important to understand whether the child feels guilty? Having discovered the money, parents must speak out unequivocally; the money must be returned to the owner. That everyone around, both loved ones and society, condemns theft.

Parents, having discovered theft, should be strict, but they also need to take pity on the child. It is necessary to awaken a sense of shame in him. Then you need to help him correct the mistake. Having discovered a negative act, parents must show tact and determination. When the child understands his guilt, it is necessary to shift the emphasis to the feelings and experiences of loved ones, as well as people who have lost money or things. We need to help the child get out of the situation without humiliation. It is also necessary to take measures for return or compensation for damage. It is not recommended to threaten a child with the police if he refuses to admit his guilt. You cannot show aggression; an obvious threat leads the child into a dead end. You cannot call a child with insulting words and a thief. Have a confidential conversation with him, not a trial. Don't talk to your child in public. If parents begin to behave incorrectly, the child will no longer trust them. Remember, theft can become a child's demarche against family troubles and mistakes in upbringing.

Child theft is not only a problem for disadvantaged families. This is something most ordinary parents often encounter. The statement “Your child is stealing” takes you by surprise, causing anger and confusion. Punishing a child is not a problem; this is what most parents do. But the thought gnaws: why did the child do this? What was he missing?

What should parents do if their child steals, and what could cause such behavior?

A child steals: what to do?

A child stealing money and things is a “shameful” problem that parents are embarrassed to talk about. This behavior of the child is perceived by the family as evidence of his incurable immorality. “No one in our family has ever done anything like this!” To parents, the future of the child seems exclusively criminal. Although in reality in most cases everything is not so scary.

The idea of ​​what is “mine” and “someone else’s” appears in a child after three years, when he begins to develop self-awareness. It would never occur to anyone to call a two or three year old child a thief who took someone’s thing without asking. But the older the child, the more likely it is that such an act will be regarded as an attempt to appropriate someone else’s property, in other words, as “theft.”

However, age does not always guarantee that the child acted consciously. Sometimes children of seven or eight years old do not sincerely understand that by appropriating someone’s thing, they are violating generally accepted norms, but five-year-olds are well aware of this.

Is it possible, for example, to consider a five-year-old boy who, having great sympathy for his peer, gave her all his mother’s gold jewelry, as a thief? The boy believed that these decorations belonged to him as well as to his mother.

Three reasons why children steal

The development of social norms and the moral development of a child occurs under the influence of others - first parents, and then peers. It all depends on the scale of the proposed values.

If parents do not promptly explain to their children the difference between the concepts of “one’s own” and “someone else’s”, if the child grows up weak-willed, irresponsible, does not know how to empathize and put himself in the place of another, then he will demonstrate antisocial behavior.

If a child is not doing well at home (for example, his parents are always busy, they don’t care about his problems and interests, they reject him), then the child will seek solace outside the family. To gain popularity and respect from their peers, such a child is ready to do a lot. And here it’s up to your luck to see what kind of company you come across.

A child who has not received the skills of trusting, interested, accepting communication in the family is unlikely to end up in a prosperous company.

I want it - I want it

At the beginning of the school year, an emergency occurred in the second grade. A chocolate bar bought from the school cafeteria disappeared from Vasya’s desk. Vasya was very upset, so the teacher considered it necessary to conduct an investigation, during which it turned out that Pasha ate the chocolate bar. In his defense, Pasha said that he found a chocolate bar on the floor and decided that it was a draw. At the same time, Pasha broke the rule: everything found in the classroom must be given to the teacher if you cannot find the owner yourself.

Probably, each of us at least once in our lives has experienced a strong desire to appropriate something that does not belong to us. How many people could not resist the temptation and committed theft - we will never know. Such offenses are rarely told even to the closest people.

Such thefts most often have no consequences, they usually are not repeated. They are distinguished by some features.

The age of the thief can be different: both a preschooler and a teenager can commit such theft. At the same time, the child understands perfectly well that he is doing something wrong, but cannot resist the temptation. Such a child’s moral ideas are already sufficiently formed, since he understands that it is impossible to take someone else’s property. He realizes that, following his desires, he harms another person, but he finds various justifications for his action.

This behavior is reminiscent of the behavior of a person who climbed into someone else’s garden to eat some fruit: “I’ll eat a few apples, the owner will not lose it, but I really want to.” At the same time, the person does not believe that he is doing something reprehensible. He, of course, would be very embarrassed if he were caught “at the crime scene.” And, most likely, he is uncomfortable with the idea that someone could encroach on his property in the same way.

Response to Trauma

The most serious cause for concern is given by a child who periodically steals money or things belonging to his relatives or close family friends. Most often, thefts of this kind are committed by teenagers and primary schoolchildren, although the origins of such behavior may lie in early childhood.

Usually, during a conversation with parents, it turns out that in early childhood the child had already committed theft, but then they “dealt with him” using home remedies (unfortunately, often very humiliating for the child). And only in adolescence, when theft begins to spread beyond the family, parents realize that the situation is getting out of control and turn to a psychologist for help.

Psychologist E. Davydova conducted a study in families of children who steal and found out that theft is a child’s reaction to traumatic life circumstances. In families of children who steal, there is emotional coldness between relatives. A child from such a family either feels that he is not loved, or in early childhood experienced a divorce from his parents, and although the relationship with his father is preserved, he sees alienation, even hostility, between his parents.

If you draw up a psychological portrait of a child who steals, then what primarily attracts attention is his goodwill towards others and his openness. Such a child is ready to talk a lot and openly about himself. Naturally, we don’t talk about theft in our conversations.

It turns out how insecure and vulnerable these children are, how much they need support and emotional acceptance from loved ones. This is the main problem, because with their behavior such children, on the contrary, push those around them further and further away from them, turning them against themselves.

The child does not seem to understand what he has done and behaves as if nothing had happened. This angers your relatives: if you stole, repent, ask for forgiveness, then perhaps the relationship will improve. The child is perceived as a monster, incapable of repentance.

Such thefts are not aimed at either enrichment or revenge. Most often, the child is almost unaware of what he has done. To the angry question of his relatives: “Why did you do this?”, he answers quite sincerely: “I don’t know.” And we cannot understand: theft is a cry for help, an attempt to reach us.

Way of self-affirmation

Stealing can be a way of self-affirmation, which is also evidence of a child’s dysfunction. In this way he wants to attract attention to himself, to win someone’s favor with various treats or beautiful things.

Such children call the good attitude of their parents towards them, good attitude towards them in the class, the presence of friends and material wealth as a condition for happiness.

For example, a small child who stole money from home and bought candy with it, distributes it to other children in order to buy their love, friendship, and good attitude. The child increases his own importance or tries to attract the attention of others in the only possible way, in his opinion.

Not finding support and understanding in the family, the child begins to steal outside the family. One gets the feeling that he is doing this to spite his always busy and dissatisfied parents or to take revenge on his more prosperous peers.

One eight-year-old girl constantly hid and threw away her little brother's things. The family clearly preferred their youngest son to her, had high hopes for him, and although she studied well, she could not become the best in the class. The girl withdrew into herself, she did not have close relationships with anyone in the class, and her only friend was her pet rat. The reasons for her theft were parental coldness towards her and, as a consequence of this, jealousy and the desire to take revenge on her parental favorite - her younger brother

Experts who work with children know: almost every child has taken something that belongs to someone else at least once in their life. At the same time, most adults react very sharply to cases of child theft: confusion (“How could this happen to my child?”), panic (“What will others think?”,” “I’m a bad teacher...”), a desire to “punish like this, so that it is disgraceful." It is important how we treat the situation if this happened to a child for the first time (or we noticed it for the first time). Of course, our reaction will depend on the age of the child.

The terms “theft” and “theft” are generally inapplicable to preschoolers, because the real world and the world of their fantasy are inseparable. They are not yet able to realize their bad deed.

If this happened to a child who was not yet four years old, his offense can hardly be called a real theft. The baby is not yet able to distinguish between “my thing” and “someone else’s”. An older child (four to six years old) is already able to understand the boundaries of property. But it’s still difficult for him to restrain his desires and impulses: he wanted it, I know it’s not mine, but I took it anyway. Moreover, the value of the thing does not play a role for him. Adults are usually more shocked by what happened if it is an expensive thing than when it comes to some small thing - a plastic toy, for example.

Children need to be taught lessons about personal property and not taking anything without permission. Children under the age of five are generally selfish, and often their main goal is to find and take what they want. That is why parents should teach their child to ask permission to take, borrow or use someone's property.

There are many reasons why children may take other people's things..

The child may experience a strong desire to own something (usually some kind of toy) that the baby is not able to cope with. Seeing a new toy from a peer, which he himself has long dreamed of, and, seizing the moment, he hides it or takes it home. The reason for this behavior is the peculiarity of the consciousness of a preschool child: for him such concepts as “mine”, “yours”, “someone else’s” are abstract and incomprehensible.
A simple example: a two- to three-year-old child is not yet able to understand what property and belonging are, and as a result, on a walk or at a party, the child wants to take any toy he likes. There is no need to call him a thief, it is better to tell him that this is someone else’s toy, and therefore you cannot take it, because the child himself does not know this yet and without the help of adults cannot understand that it is not good to take other people’s things. Parents should tell him about this more than once; it is better to accompany his story with an analysis of a specific situation, and to make it clearer for the child, draw his attention to the experiences of a person who has lost something.

The child might want to give a gift to someone close to him (usually his parents). This reason is also related to the lack of understanding of the negative assessment of theft. The child strives in one way or another to please his mother - and the fact that he is doing wrong simply does not occur to him.

Children may feel as if they have “found” something that is not theirs, so they may want to keep it. Parents should teach their children that "found" items do not have to remain their property.

Children may steal to get attention. Often, they seek attention from not only their parents, but also from peers, brothers or sisters. Wanting to attract the attention of peers to oneself as the owner of something.

Children learn from adults' examples. When a child sees their parents taking things from work, from neighbors, or even from a store, they are an example of thieving behavior.

Some children who steal feel as if they are missing something that other children have. For example, some of your children's friends have pocket money. Parents may not see the need for this, or they may not be able to give pocket money to the child, so the child begins to steal money to satisfy his needs.

Some children steal to gain control or power.

A child may steal in order to punish or take revenge on someone.

How to behave if a preschooler brings home someone else's thing?

First try to figure out what really happened. For example, the baby simply swapped with another child. What if this toy is from a kindergarten or a pediatrician’s office? It is clear that we need to return it to its place. But it’s worth thinking about: perhaps we are not too attentive to the child’s needs. Or was this exactly the thing he had long wanted to have?

What to do if it turns out that a toy or thing is the property of another child? It is important to understand the nuances of the situation. Was this thing brought into the house openly and the child himself told about it? Or did you find it hidden among the toys at home? What kind of relationship did he have with the owner of the item? Perhaps he wants to attract the attention of this child. Or in this way shows his power over the weaker.

Does he feel guilty when the item is discovered? If he is not ashamed and does not regret his action, you need to speak out strictly and unambiguously: the thing must be returned, you condemn what happened. You hope that your son or daughter already knows that this is a bad act and will not repeat it.

Feel sorry for the baby, and he will immediately feel ashamed. Help him fix what he did. Treat both him and his actions as carefully and tactfully as possible.

If the child understands his guilt, shift the emphasis to the experiences and feelings of the person who lost his favorite thing, how bad he feels, etc. And help your child return the thing or toy without unnecessary humiliation and public proceedings; it is better to do this alone with the owner of the thing. The child can offer one of his toys and allow him to take it home to play. Once the child understands and agrees that his behavior was wrong, give him opportunities to improve.

If a child has been caught stealing:

- do not threaten the child if he refuses to admit guilt. Your obvious aggression will immediately lead him into a dead end. It is better to ask directly whether he took something that belonged to him than to try to force him to admit his defeat and the fact that he is a “thief.”

Don't call him a thief, don't label him predicting a criminal future.

Don't compare him to other children or to yourself as a child, don't make him feel ashamed and depressed ("I'm ashamed of you," "No parent should blush like that," "My son couldn't do that," etc.) etc.);

Do not hold a trial for every, even minor, misdeed of the child - otherwise he will hide everything from you;

Do not discuss the problem with strangers in the presence of the child. The golden rule of upbringing says: scold in private, praise in public.

Do not address your child with rhetorical questions like “How could you?” etc. - this is completely useless and even harmful.

Don't go back to what happened (after the situation has been dealt with), because... By doing this you will only consolidate this act in the child’s mind.

Do not remind your child about what happened if he has committed another offense that is not related to theft.

The main mistakes in education that can provoke child theft include the following: