Women who have an all-consuming and bright feeling for a man who has a family cannot be envied. If you initially knew that you were starting a relationship with a married man, believe me, this does not honor you. Or did the truth reveal itself after a while?

Did you find out that your lover has a family when you already realized that you couldn’t live without him? And now you don’t know how to break up with a married man? No, we will not talk about how such relationships usually end, we will not tell you that you acted rudely towards his family. Right now you should gather your thoughts and decide how to break up with a married man forever, so as not to succumb to feelings in the future, and not return to him every time. We will help you find within yourself the strength with which you can not only renounce sinful love, but also forget about what connected you with this person.

You must realize the main thing: a man is painful and painful. Do you want to live with these feelings all your life? Your first step towards healing should be to learn about your loved one's family. Believe me, when you learn about his wife and their relationship, you will probably be able to make sure that in reality everything is not as terrible for them as he portrayed in his sayings about his hysterical and cunning wife. Married men often tell their mistresses a similar story about how long it has been since they slept in the same bed with their wives. If there are children in the family of the object you adore, this should serve as an additional reason for a breakup.

How can he leave his children for the sake of feelings for a stranger? Understand that if a person has already managed to betray someone, then it costs him nothing to betray your love over time. Do you need such a ladies' man?

The one who has already encountered a man’s betrayal understands perfectly well what pain she causes to her lover’s wife. After all, she herself once experienced the same feelings as his wife, who probably understands that it’s not for nothing that her husband stays late in the evenings. If you are familiar with this feeling of deep resentment and pain, just remember what you once had to endure. Do you want to be heartless by making another person suffer because of a cheating spouse?

Do you want to know how to break up with a married man without a scandal? It's very simple: you yourself can force him to take this first step towards breaking your connection. With your behavior, you can push him to the only right decision, which concerns your relationship. If you were previously only gentle, understanding and loving with him, then you will transform into a soulless and narcissistic person who is only interested in restaurants and gifts. Throw him tantrums, tell him that he has been looking bad lately and dressed tastelessly, create awkward situations for him. After such behavior on your part, the chosen one will definitely return to his family. He will be glad and understand that his wife is not as bad as he thought before.

How to break up with a married man if you cannot portray a capricious person? There is only one piece of advice: don’t tear your heart out, don’t wait for random meetings with him. Try to avoid even telephone conversations with the object of your adoration. They say that love needs food, and you must doom it to hunger. The man will understand that you are avoiding meetings and contacts with him, and he himself will make the correct conclusion that the relationship has come to an end. You should not worry about how to break up with a married person without offending him. Did he think about how not to offend his wife?

It happened - you are in a relationship with a married man.

You can talk for a long time about how immoral, hopeless, and other well-known things are, but that’s not what we’re talking about now.

Today you have firmly decided to break up with him - a relationship with a married man is still not very good, and, apparently, your beloved is not going to leave his family.

And this despite the fact that when we met, he generally modestly kept silent about his marital status, and when the truth was revealed, he swore that he was divorcing his wife and just a little more, just a little - and he would be free like the free wind of the prairies.

But time passes, and your relationship remains the same: meetings are furtive, he spends holidays with his family so as not to upset the children, and you have to be content with fleeting dates and hope that someday he will appear on your doorstep not with the usual box of chocolates, but with a large suitcase.

The decision to break up was not easy for you, after all, he is dear to you, but you no longer want to play the role of a backup option. Now the main thing is to bring what you have planned to the end, not to succumb to the temptation to meet “for the last time,” otherwise the farewell may drag on for many months, or even years.

So, gather your willpower into a fist and say a decisive “Goodbye!” And the advice of a psychologist will tell you how to act in a given situation.

How to break up with a married man if he is against breaking up

You clearly told him about your intentions, but he looks devotedly into your eyes and asks you to be patient a little longer - and he is yours forever. Oh, how your heart shrinks at this moment, and you are already barely holding back tears, ready to agree to wait... Now take a deep breath, count to ten and calmly and firmly say “No.”

Say that you had a good time together, but the time has come to leave. And don’t believe that he, frightened of breaking up with you, will immediately rush to get a divorce. Men really don’t like to radically change anything in their lives. He likes the real situation, when his lawful wife is waiting for him at home with a hot dinner, his beloved children, the comfort and coziness of the family hearth, and in addition to this there is a young attractive mistress who is always happy to see him and with whom he himself feels like an irresistible macho.

If before your proposal to separate he has not yet taken a single step towards divorce, then he will not do it after. He can promise, but he won’t get a divorce. In the end, it is easier for him to find a new passion than to break his established way of life for the dubious pleasure of moving from one family nest to another.

Therefore, do not believe assurances of eternal love, remember that promising does not mean getting married, and do not let emotions take precedence over reason. Even if your breakup is quick and final, it will be easier to survive than a protracted goodbye with periodic reunions and regular separations.

How to break up with the married man you love

This case is much more complicated. If he is the only light in the window for you, you are ready to endure fleeting meetings, holidays spent alone, and many other inconveniences of underground relationships. And even when with your mind you understand that your relationship will not develop, your heart cries bloody tears, and you look for excuses for your loved one and again believe all his excuses and promises. And they are ready to wait almost forever, hoping that the happy moment will come after all, and it will remain with you forever.

Wake up! Why the chances of taking a man away from the family tend to zero, read above. If he really wanted to leave his wife, he would have done it a long time ago, regardless of whether there was someone in his life or not. Try to understand that you are wasting your best years on a man who will never be yours.

And when you realize this, it’s time to start “treatment”, no matter how painful and difficult it may be for you. There is no and cannot be any universal advice in this matter, but you can still use some recommendations.

First of all, we inform your loved one that from this day on, everything is over between you. This must be done calmly, without tears, farewell evenings and other dramatic effects. If you find it difficult to control yourself, take a sedative and keep the meeting to a minimum. Let it last just as long as it takes you to say what you need to say. After that, leave immediately - you will cry later, at home, when you get rid of his photographs and gifts.

Fire cleanses, and therefore you can do the following: do not throw away or tear up photos of your loved one - it is better to burn them! To do this, take a fireproof container - if there is only one photo and a small size, an ashtray will be enough, but if you store a whole photo album dedicated to your relationship, you will have to look for something larger.

Pour yourself a glass of wine, set fire to your past and watch how the images gradually turn black and disappear, eaten by the flames. If memories come flooding back, you can cry, but don’t indulge in sadness all evening, think that now you are free from useless relationships and from tomorrow a new life will begin, in which there will be no room for suffering about what did not come true.

Remove his number from your phone, and, if necessary, the numbers of his friends, so that you are not tempted to call and find out how he is doing without you. Delete any contacts - email, Skype, ICQ. Block him on social networks - there is no need for you to go there and look at his photos, opening fresh wounds.

If, after breaking up with a married man, you continue to feel attracted to him, ask a close friend to help you distract yourself. Go to a nightclub, to a party with friends, just have a get-together at home - the main thing is that at this time you do not think about him, but have fun and have fun. Therefore, warn your friend that from now on her direct responsibility is not to allow you to start a conversation that is at least to some extent related to the past.

Go to the spa and indulge in all the treatments you want. And straight from there, go to the hairdresser and radically change your image. Go shopping and update your wardrobe, it's great therapy!

What to do after breaking up with a married man?

Don’t live in the past, remember, you are a strong woman if you were able to break up with a married man. You deserve respect for not destroying his family. It may be very painful and difficult at first, but every day the memories will fade, and very soon you will be able to take a step towards true love.

Reprinting or publication of articles on websites, forums, blogs, contact groups and mailing lists is permitted only if there is active link to the website .

Many ladies go through a relationship with a married man, and the question of how to break up painlessly and completely sooner or later arises for most mistresses who have realized the futility of the data. A breakup will be difficult in any case, and the advice of psychologists and women who have already gone through similar things will help to break up with dignity.

How to properly break up with a married man you love?

Many women are satisfied with the role of a married man’s mistress for quite a long time, but when the final understanding comes that the beloved will always spend all holidays with his family, that he does not need a child from an affair, the thought of separation arises.

The main problem of women is that they become too immersed in relationships and have to tear their lover away from them almost “with blood.” For this reason, a proper separation from a married lover must include a preparatory stage. First, a woman needs to realize that she needs healthy selfishness. Most often, only the man fully enjoys the relationship on the side, and the woman has to wait and feel longing, so before breaking up, she needs to occupy herself, her heart and mind as much as possible.

What can you do to reduce your attachment to a man:

• do not sit at home - meet with friends more often, go to theaters, cinema, museums;
• get a cheerful pet - a kitten or a puppy;
• fill your life with positive emotions - travel, skydive, go on a hike;
• love yourself and learn to enjoy every moment of life - the gentle sun, fragrant tea, birdsong, etc.

How to break up with a married man and what to tell him?

The next step is the actual severance of the relationship. If the preliminary preparation is carried out correctly, a lot of new impressions should make things easier with your lover, and, in addition, some men, having ceased to feel like the center of the universe, are quite good at provoking separation with jealousy and resentment.

There is no need to start a conversation with a former lover with complaints - you should not make an enemy. First, you can thank the man for the pleasant moments, but then you should make it clear that everything is over. If a man needs reasons, the main one should be given - the desire to have a full-fledged family and children.

After breaking up with your lover, you should not succumb to his provocations and have “farewell sex” or an “evening of memories.” It is best to cut off the relationship completely, only politely saying hello when you meet. A woman should always remember that she is alone, she deserves respect and a full-fledged relationship without lies.

There comes a moment in every couple when love turns into a “suitcase without a handle” - it’s hard to carry and it’s a pity to throw it away. The ideal option for separation is when both lovers understand that the meaning of the relationship has dried up. A self-sufficient lady will be the first to talk about breaking up, and a smart man will allow her to do this without arguing.

Unfortunately, this rarely happens. Often, when a woman makes a decision, a man resists. Even more often, there is simply not enough strength to put an end to it. The latter is closely related to addiction, a disease that has been dubbed Marilyn Monroe syndrome.

Step 1

And now we’ll talk about the lady’s first step on the path to breaking off a boring relationship. About how to mentally prepare yourself.

Psychologists advise starting with a gradual change in consciousness. The method is based on self-hypnosis and is performed by scrolling through the same thoughts in the head.

What should you think about in this situation? This may seem ridiculous, but the lover’s wife will be a good assistant here.

• First of all, imagine what a blow the news of betrayal would be for a legitimate passion. Feel yourself in her place, feel how painful it is to be rejected by your own husband.
• Also think that your loved one became the way you loved him only thanks to your wife. Going through difficulties, support in difficult times, illnesses and sorrows for two concern only THEIR relationships, but not yours.
• Next, understand that only with his wife can a lover be himself. With you he just changes masks and will never be real.
• Convince yourself that you are a backup option, a girl for fun. This is exactly how he treats you.
• Know that when a mistress loses her pretentiousness (and you, too, will one day turn 40), a married suitor leaves at the speed of sound. How do you like this arrangement?

Scroll these thoughts in your head constantly, call them up intentionally if necessary. By setting yourself up in this way, you will change your consciousness and soon you will want to get rid of this meaningless connection.

Step 2

If thoughts about your spouse do not push you to take decisive action, do not stop. Look for every possible way that can help you change your thinking. Try the following tips:

• Look at your boyfriend from the other side. Try to find flaws, concentrate on them. Perhaps you don’t like some habits or are irritated, for example, by sloppiness. Or maybe sometimes the boyfriend behaves as if you are already his wife. Find all the gifts given and remember how often you were given gifts, how much money was spent on you? Perhaps your loved one is stingy? Or maybe he has the sin of constantly being late? Explain this to yourself as a lack of respect for you. But the most important drawback, of course, is the “double” life of a loved one. Isn’t it a shame to brazenly lie to one woman’s face and feed another with false promises? How does this person get along with his conscience?

• Children. If you don't know how to leave your married lover, think about children. Even if your sweetheart moves in with you, you will not be able to live in peace. After all, he will visit his family regardless of your wishes. And where there are children, there is a wife. And there is always a danger that spouses will inflame each other with new feelings. No wonder they once got married.
• Imagine that you are already together. Often, after a loved one is wrested from his wife, a woman realizes that her love was fueled only by struggle. When the couple begins to live together, feelings evaporate. Therefore, imagine the situation of your life together in the brightest colors, in the most detailed detail. What do you feel? Do you understand that now you are in your wife’s place? And you are the one who has to worry about the fact that a rival is about to appear? After all, the character of the faithful is unlikely to change. And where there is one betrayal, there is a second. And then - will you love him, seeing him every day in sweatpants, in front of the TV or computer, at the kitchen table, in general, everywhere and everywhere? Maybe, instead of thinking about how to win back, think about how beautifully to part with your loved one?
• Erase your memory. That is, get rid of all the things that remind you of the relationship. If the meetings took place in an apartment, it is advisable to move somewhere for the first time.
• Look for an inspiring activity, new hobbies, make plans that will be implemented after you announce the breakup. It is important that the novelty pleases you, so that there is anticipation of something exciting. The desire to fulfill what is planned will block the upcoming experiences and pain.
• Pay attention to other men. You can date your future ex and at the same time look for a new passion. Just attention: do not step on the same rake! Make it a goal not to consider married suitors as potential husbands. Also, you should not rush into the arms of the first person you meet (even if he is unmarried). Here, as nowhere else, the expression of the famous matchmaker Roza Syabitova is useful: “don’t go to the store hungry, otherwise you’ll take the first thing you come across. Look at your options from a place of choice, not from a place of scarcity.”

Which is better to leave: quickly or slowly?

In general, a girl has only two ways to say goodbye. The first is fast, but very painful, the second is slow, but less painful. Although, of course, it is impossible to give an unambiguous description. The degree of torment in both the fast and slow mode will depend only on the structure of the personality itself.

Fast way

Let's talk about how to properly break up with a married person using a quick method.

Being in love euphoria, people do not hear the voice of their minds, they are absorbed by feelings and passion. But in our case, everything is more complicated for a girl - passion is mixed with suffering from the understanding that being together forever is not about them. Suffering accumulates and leads to a turning point. The beautiful lady realizes that if she doesn’t put an end to it now, the story will continue endlessly. There is a feeling of being set on edge. The supporting role gets boring, and there’s a feeling that it’s time to stop. And so, before she even really understood what she was doing, the lady informed the guy about the breakup. Sharply, quickly, without hesitation. And it seems that this is the end, there is nothing more.

But, to be honest, the statement: I’m tired, I want to break up is just the initial stage. The hardest test lies ahead. Now the event needs to be experienced somehow. How?

When going to the scaffold, be patient, grit your teeth and do not reveal your true feelings. Put off complaints, farewell words and tears for later. Otherwise, you will fall into the trap again. Tearful explanations will become a hook for a lover - for vows, assurances, promises. And a woman’s heart is not able to refuse when a loved one asks; it itself is not yet ready to say goodbye.

At that moment you have to trust yourself. Intuition knows that in fact, it is not the relationship that will last, but the agony. Not now, but then we’ll still have to separate.

It will also be difficult if the romance is official and people have to see each other every day. For some time after saying goodbye, you will feign indifference, but the outcome of the story is clear - people cannot stand it and rush into that same pool with renewed vigor. At first it will seem romantic (well, just like in the movies!), but after a short period you will realize that you have sailed to the same shore, which will make your psychological state even worse. Therefore, avoid the person with all your might. And avoid until you free yourself from obsession. Keep yourself busy with anything - travel, girlfriends, gyms, just so that less time is spent thinking about breaking up. There is simply no other way.

Immediately after your loved one leaves, allow yourself to cry. Free yourself from what has accumulated and start cleaning the house, namely, rid the apartment of gifts and things of your ex. Rearranging, replacing furniture, and repairs will be beneficial. Remember to ignore attempts to get you back.

And yes, don’t think that you are being cruel. This person took away your chances for a normal life, which means he no longer has a place in your heart.

In the question: how to survive a separation from a married man, the following advice from a psychologist will help you:

• Share the problem with those you trust. Look for support in people and don’t be alone for long.
• Raise your emotional level. A person who has similar experience will help here.
• Plunge into a hectic life. Look for activities that can increase self-esteem - new knowledge, skills, etc.
• Do not rush to search for love adventures right away. Dedicate some period purely to yourself, recover from your previous relationship.

Slow way

Are you familiar with situations when people quit smoking? One person simply throws away the pack and endures it, no matter how hard it is, another quits smoking gradually, reducing the number of cigarettes per day. But in neither case are you immune from the temptation to take up a cigarette again.

You probably guessed that the smoking example is not accidental. You can say goodbye quickly, or you can say goodbye slowly. But if a lady leaves her lover, this does not mean that she will not come back.

The quick method is not suitable for some people. They break off the relationship, but cannot withstand the weight of emotions and break down. Therefore, for them there is a method that is almost painless - slow. Its essence is the gradual distance between the partner and the chosen one.

We have already talked about how to prepare yourself for a breakup. All that remains is to add - do not forget to ask the question when meeting: WHAT does this relationship give you and is there any point in continuing? Notice the flaws and repeat to yourself that you don't love this person.

Believe me, self-hypnosis is a powerful force. Remember the movie “The Most Charming and Attractive”. Didn't the heroine manage to convince herself that she was amazing? Same thing. You may laugh, but try it anyway. Frequently scrolling through such thoughts will make each meeting less and less romantic and joyful. Therefore, the breakup will be less painful.

And also - when a woman is interested in the question: how to properly break up with her chosen one, many psychologists suggest pushing the partner himself to this idea. Alternatively, turn from a loving and flexible beauty into a bitch. Demand to come more often, with flowers and gifts. If you are late, scold them. Create scenes of jealousy - find out whether he sleeps with his wife and why he needs two women. And in the end, demand to leave your missus.

If your character does not allow you to do this, turn into a ball of nervous tension - remain silent, frown, sniffle. The behavior should scare off the companion, after which meetings will become rare, and then completely disappear. Here you have a choice: you can let him leave or leave your companion first.

The role of temperament during a breakup

Finally, we suggest reading interesting advice from psychologists. They relate to four types of human temperaments. How does each of them react to the news of farewell and what should they do to protect themselves and their loved one from trouble?

So, here we go:

• Choleric. Impulsive, active, hot-tempered. Accustomed to achieving what he wants through his favorite paths, he reacts painfully to refusals. If a lady said that she wants to break up, the answer can be unpredictable (even physical force). Therefore, think through your actions so that the initiative comes from the man. Also, don't go overboard with the "bitch" method. And it’s better not to intersect with such a person at all.
• Melancholic. A neurasthenic person, extremely vulnerable. Can create a lot of problems with unexpected antics. Prepare such a person for farewell gradually - each time say that you are tormented by a feeling of guilt about your spouse, remember the children, and so on.
• Sanguine. The person is cheerful and stable. With such a person, a sincere conversation is enough. Usually, a sanguine person understands at a glance and leaves his mistress without any problems.
• Phlegmatic person. You can escape from a married lover with a phlegmatic character “in English.” He will not demand explanations, and will take the news of the breakup as a given.