anonymously

Hello Yuri Petrovich. I'm 24 years old now. I have problems with sex - I can’t even say when it appeared, as if from childhood, when I still didn’t know about this matter, but only guessed. all my “visual fantasies” during masturbation, and later with a partner - it’s some kind of disgusting, it’s disgusting myself!!! Well, for example, that I am a 5-year-old girl and I am being raped, that I am tied up and this is a gang rape, that I am choking on sperm, they are experimenting on me... here is the very first memory - this is when I liked a boy in the 1st grade, and I I imagined that we were shackled into some kind of robots that were “played” by us against our will. All my fantasies were always “against my will”. for this to turn out to be a reality - God forbid!! But it helps me achieve orgasm. I HAVE VERY LIGHT AND TENDER FEELINGS FOR A YOUNG MAN, we have been together for 5 years - why can’t I enjoy his tenderness, because his highest pleasure is to see my pleasure! if he knew what was in my head at the same time... when I forced myself to concentrate on his touches and not imagine anything nasty, it could last for hours and as a way out - an imitation of an orgasm, because well, the action dragged on. but I don’t dare suggest any mild perversions in sex - I’ve already delayed this, and about the fact that before that I didn’t feel as good as he thinks - 5 years! - I offend him very much. hinted that he would “rape” me when I was mischievous, or something like that, but he agreed that it would be great, but it didn’t come to fruition. I don’t see a way out except to drive this abomination out of my head. I want your advice... and a side question. I started masturbating when I was 13 years old, and as I understand it, clitoral orgasm is the easiest way to achieve a goal for my body, so without influencing the clitoris with a partner, there is no orgasm. sometimes I can help myself (and myself, he can’t do that) - and sometimes it’s somehow out of place, and so that he doesn’t get the feeling that he’s doing something wrong, that I’m not getting pleasure from him, I have to imitate. especially when it lasts more than one hour and he is really tired, he gets very upset when he cums before me. I never understood why women should fake an orgasm? I understand now. and this is for him, but I’m ashamed of it, and I’m afraid that he won’t realize about it... thank you

Hello. You have lumped together the most different problems- and the pile seems huge. But in fact, everything is based on one completely wrong message: I MUST!!! I am obliged to have decent fantasies - and therefore I have been neuroticizing myself since I was 7 years old (my whole life!). I am obliged to have an orgasm with every intercourse (this is generally nonsense) - and therefore I cannot relax normally, but I control my arousal all the time. I am obliged to take care of my partner’s hypertrophied self-esteem - and therefore I deceive both him and, most importantly, myself, not allowing natural reactions to occur, which alone can lead to orgasm. I am obliged to correspond to some fantastic model, which I did NOT even come up with - and therefore I am moving further and further away from naturalness in bed and in relationships. Perhaps this list of obligations can be continued outside of bed? Well, remember, write it down or get yourself a tattoo: NO ONE - ANYONE - OWES ANYTHING. The choice is always yours, and you always make it in favor of ANOTHER, and not yourself. Why? Because you consider yourself a booger, unworthy of having own life? In vain - you are the only one on earth, you can be shown in a museum as the one and only in the entire history of mankind. Proceed from this - and you will be happy. And if you work for ANOTHER (even the most beautiful and beloved) - you will lose yourself and will not save him. Chat about this topic with a good

Do you remember how you last week dreamed of being in bed with a couple of models? So, it is possible that at that very moment my friend was imagining sex with at least three strong shawarma sellers. Fantasy in women is not nearly as bad as some people think, and to confirm this thesis, we compiled a unique rating in which we used interviews with real and completely normal women.

15th place. "Star"

“I come to see a gynecologist about some minor issue. It turns out that the doctor is George Clooney. I sit down on the chair. Even before he puts on his gloves, I'm already horny. He smiles and starts masturbating me with his gloves on. Then he enters me, saying that this is the best remedy from my illness."
Editor's note: a rather banal vanilla script. Imagining a pop or movie star under various simple circumstances is perhaps the most common female fantasy.

14th place. "Model"

“I cut out covers from Men's Health magazine, lay them out around me and imagine how each of these guys gives me pleasure. First, one at a time. Then we all have sex together.”
Editor's note: Sex with a stranger is a common occurrence in their fantasies. In the cruel reality, few women dare to do this, since every young lady knows that instead of an incredibly beautiful male, a maniac or robber may enter her. So they are content with photographs from a magazine.

13th place. "An enviable role"

“I work as a librarian. I don’t look like I do now, but very modestly: a kind of plain girl with glasses. Two pimply nerds come to me and start choosing books. Their absurdity and obvious inexperience turns me on, I suggest they look at the subsidiary fund. Between the shelves I take off my blouse and start ordering the nerds around, they do everything I tell them.”
Editor's note: clear dominance. Although it is a little less attractive to the weaker sex than submission, it is also very often found in their fantasy world. In addition, women are very turned on by inexperienced young men to whom you can open the whole world and feel partly like a goddess.

12th place. "Just bi"

“On my friend’s birthday, we go to the club, drink, dance. Friend's colleague is tall beautiful girl- clings to me while dancing, says various unusual things. Then I go to the toilet and run into her on the way out. She says I need to freshen up and throws water on me. As if to dry me, he pulls off my T-shirt and starts licking my chest, then goes lower and unbuttons my pants...”
From the editor: use. The most common and also the most often fulfilled female fantasy. There's nothing to add.

11th place. "Dangerous!"

“We are sitting with a friend in a Chinese teahouse, in a booth, but the door won’t close. Books in Chinese with pictures of Chinese people copulating are laid out around. A very beautiful girl is serving us. I get excited and start masturbating right in front of her. She smiles and leaves. I take out his dick and start kissing him. I’m pleased that several people are watching us through the door.”
From the editor: simple physiology - when a person takes risks, his body produces approximately the same substances as when sexual arousal. So sex in a public place doubles the sensation. Risky places are different for everyone: some people consider a changing cabin to be banal and uninteresting, while others feel shy in a movie theater.

10th place. "Primitive Symmetry"

“I'm lying on my side in a 69 position, having oral sex with my girlfriend. One guy enters me from behind, and the other does the same to my girlfriend.”
From the editor: this is a common and rather primitive bisexual fantasy, typical for many girls puberty. Lesbian fantasies are most common among women, and are most often fulfilled. Men usually unsubscribe in such fantasies, as in in this case, the minor role of live vibrators.

9th place. "Rape"

“I imagine being raped by two men at the same time. They hold me suspended and never lower me to the floor, carrying me from room to room, never stopping raping me.”
Editor's note: Rape is one of the most common fantasies among women. With her help, she overcomes the barrier of permissibility more easily: after all, when she is raped, bribes from her are smooth. In fact, in fantasies the rapist is always sexually attractive, and the rape itself occurs strictly according to the woman’s script.

8th place. "Porn"

I often imagine myself as a participant in the wonderful porn film “Big Threesome in Turin”. 20 Italian stallions fucked me and my girlfriend in all their holes for two hours. It all ends with a grand bukkake.
Editor's note: Statistically, a significant percentage of women take a passive role in their dreams. In this case, this is the apotheosis of such a passive role. In addition, an increase in self-esteem due to the fact that a whole company of Italians wants it.

7th place. "Sextet"

I often imagine myself with six men who report to me. They are located as follows: one from behind performs penetration, the second from below does cunnilingus, the third and fourth lick my breasts, I perform fellatio on the fifth, and the sixth looks at all this and masturbates.
Editor's note: This fantasy has two natural psychological bases. Firstly, a woman thus replaces the lack of affection - one man is simply physically unable to stimulate everything erogenous zones women. Secondly, we're talking about about overcoming the taboo of monogamy.

6th place. "Gigantomania"

“I imagine that my partner’s penis is incredibly huge, but at the same time my vagina is able to accommodate it. I love to dream about dressing him up in doll clothes and taking him for walks in the park.”
From the editor: now this is interesting! This fantasy increases a woman’s self-esteem: she is so capable that she can accommodate even an unnaturally sized penis. In addition, fantasy reflects the natural desire to absorb a loved one and make him a part of oneself. In fact, the loved one's penis is a child.

5th place. "Fantasy"

"The sharpest sexual sensations Goblins call me. Mortis is truly my wet dream. Sometimes I ask my boyfriend to wear a Goblin mask during sex."
From the editor: fantasizing with the participation of fairy-tale characters is no less normal than with Hollywood stars. IN fairy tale character a dreamer can get in abundance the quality that secretly attracts her in a man. In the case of the goblin, it is clear what this property is.

4th place. "Hentai"

I would like to become the main character Japanese anime "Sisters". I didn't have a car license, I got into an accident and have to pay $200,000. I have no money, and I sign an agreement under which I, along with my two sisters, become the sex slave of the head of a large corporation and his son, as well as all their friends .
From the editor: even the most severe perversions in the form animated films become acceptable and beautiful. This is the basis of the popularity of hentai among dreamers.

3rd place. "Art"

“I often become a character in the paintings of Boris Vallejo (Vallejo). Especially the one where a beauty in shackles is raped by a snake, and also the one where there is a hint of the lesbian passion of an earthly woman and an effeminate creature with snake tails. I, of course, play the role of a beautiful and earthly woman.”
Editor's note: close to the case of fantasy, but in this case we are dealing with an aesthetically demanding nature. In Vallejo's paintings, everyone, even the monsters, is very beautiful.

2nd place. "Easy Zoo"

“A knight comes to me, starts to caress me, but asks me not to open my eyes. Then he lifts my dress, kisses my knees, inner surface thighs, caresses with fingers. Then he starts licking. But for some reason the sensations are different, very strong. I cum several times, but I can’t open my eyes. When I succeed, then instead of my lover I see a lion, big and beautiful, I see how his tongue licks me, how deeply it penetrates into the vagina, and this is incredibly pleasant, because the tongue is large and long.”
From the editor: direct perception of the phrase “ animal passion" Leo is the king of beasts, so he makes the dreamer a queen. In addition, the animal embodies a certain absolute desire, without impurities emotional experiences, which is inevitable between people. The film “The Chronicles of Narnia” is the best object for masturbation for such women.

1st place. "Autodefloration"

“I came up with the idea that I would take a bottle of champagne and stick it in the freezer shortly before the New Year. Then, when she’s cold, I’ll get into the bath with her. I’ll remove the wires and insert the neck into myself. The bottle will heat up, shoot and deprive me of my innocence as the chimes strike.”
Editor's note: Oddly enough, many young girls They are embarrassed about their virginity and prefer to lose it themselves. It is this fantasy that impresses with its sophistication and rightfully takes first place. The only thing missing is an avocado with black caviar on the edge of the bathtub.

Everything is fine!

Scientists say that even unusual and perverted fantasies are normal for healthy person and there is nothing dangerous about them. The path from fantasies to perversions is not at all direct and quite long, if a person is mentally healthy, of course.

Ordinary people fantasize, usually imagining a former, current or imaginary partner. But besides such scenarios, the most common are the following:

Fantasies in which a person overcomes the barrier of permissibility.

Unusual surroundings, dubious partners such as strangers or relatives, as well as difficult positions worthy of the Kama Sutra.
Scenes in which you or she feel sexually irresistible.

The emphasis is on the power of seduction, overcoming the reluctance of a woman or man to have sex through inhuman magnetism. As an option - fantasies with a group of participants who want a dreamer.

Fantasies of dominance and submission.
Sexual power can be expressed either ritualized - in sadomasochistic paraphernalia, or through physical strength- rape.
What's wrong?

Men's fantasies are more visual: we clearly imagine bodies, genitals, movements, and so on. The entire storyline is based on genitals.

Women usually build a story in their fantasies with emotional overtones, with romantic meeting. They include more non-visual images in their fantasies - smells, sounds, etc.

Men's fantasies are dominated by women with large busts, who show off their charms in almost clinical detail from different angles.

Women's fantasies are dominated by romantic scenarios without physiological details and with a lot of elements of surroundings.

Other differences

Men are more likely to imagine themselves committing acts on a woman. Their fantasies focus on the body. Women: imagine the actions being performed on them and concentrate on their partner's interest in her.

Men's fantasies more often involve sex with two or more partners at the same time. In women, fantasy is more often concentrated on one partner.

In fantasies, men are more likely to dominate, women to be submissive.

Men have more diverse fantasies. Of the 55 fantasies proposed by the researchers, men chose 26, and women only 14.

Women are more likely than men to include a permanent partner in their fantasies.

Women are more likely than men to act out their fantasies.

Men are more likely to use pornography instead of fantasies.

The most common male fantasies:

1. Group sex.
2. Voyeurism, fetishism.
3. Another woman.
4. Sado-maso.

Lower mathematics

1 in 4 people feel guilty about their sexual fantasies.
57% of teenagers think about sex more than once every five minutes.
41% of women and only 16% of men pay attention to the personal characteristics of their partner during fantasies.
Men present physiological details of sexual intercourse 4 times more often than women.
44% of men had fantasies of dominance. 51% of women say they were forced to have sex.

200 couples took part in the anonymous survey. As a result, the five most popular secret fantasies of representatives of both sexes became known.

Who does a woman want?

Fantasy N 1

As it turned out, not only men dream of busty divas. Women, it turns out, are also not averse to making love with a representative of the same sex. True, they don’t want to see stars in their bed. The majority of women from 18 to 40 years old named lesbian love with a friend as their favorite sexual fantasy.

Fantasy N 2

The second most popular fantasy among women is group sex fantasies involving two men and one woman. Moreover, it should be noted that previously such dreams were mostly popular among men, but in Lately Such obscene thoughts are increasingly occurring in women. Well, there can’t be too much of a good thing: four hands caress her, two mouths kiss her, and, accordingly, twice as much of everything else.

Fantasy N 3

The third fantasy is devoted to the theme of sacrifice, subordination, humility. It turns out that shy women secretly dream of being tied up. Why, they tied him up - they handcuffed him! And in such a “suspended” state, they are ready to indulge in unbridled passion. In general, everything is like in the famous scene from Basic Instinct. And it is not at all necessary that the partner be Michael Douglas.

Fantasy N 4

Many representatives of the fair sex dream of sex in public places or where someone could appear at any moment. As examples, respondents named entrances, elevators, where, in addition to lovers, a couple of witnesses would be stuck, all kinds of gazebos, parks and even public toilets.

Fantasy N 5

Another common female fantasy is sex with a stranger. Everything should be beautiful here. Night bar, restaurant, pleasant music, twilight. He invites you to dance, during which a mad attraction for each other arises, and then after a night of love, he dissolves even before the first rays of the sun touch your face. The whole point is that a woman, having separated from a man, should not find out his name. If you ever have the chance to realize this fantasy, don’t forget about a condom so that in the morning all your romance doesn’t crash against the door of the venereologist’s office.

What do men want?

Fantasy N 1

As corny as it sounds, most men dream of sleeping with a movie star. Representatives of the stronger sex even admitted that, in order to somehow realize their fantasy, during sex they imagined some pop diva in the place of their partner. Most of those surveyed would like to indulge in lovemaking with Angelina Jolie. The main thing here is not to forget and not to call your friend by someone else’s name, although if she imagines that she is making love with Brad Pitt, then why not.

Fantasy N 2

Judging by the second popular fantasy, men give up their positions as tempters and seducers because they themselves want to be seduced. Representatives of the stronger sex dream of having their temptress Strong woman, female leader, boss, female vamp. Elements of sadism (for example, a leather whip) are also welcome here, but in within reasonable limits. It is advisable that the enchantress wear nothing but stilettos and red lipstick.

Fantasy N 3

Men turned out to be less cheeky than women and ranked group sex only in third place. But, as passion lovers assure, the number of partners in this case is completely unlimited, as long as there is enough for everyone and none of the girls is offended. This also probably includes the fantasy of group sex with a change of partners. It’s like the final scene in most porn films, where everything is mixed up, everyone loves each other and you can’t tell who, where and whom.

Fantasy N 4

Most men have always had the desire to sleep with a virgin. Deny yourself the pleasure of becoming a woman's first representative strong half They can’t even now. This is all the more valuable in our time, when girls grow up with extraordinary speed and mature man It is very difficult to find a chaste partner among your peers.

Fantasy N 5

The fifth male fantasy can be roughly called “What Russian doesn’t like driving fast!” There are extreme men among men who dream of having sex while driving a car at high speed. The adrenaline is definitely going through the roof. The main thing is not to forget that in such a situation you can ensure yourself not only complete satisfaction of your fantasy, but also communication with a pathologist. This is a list of the most common generalized fantasies, but there are also purely individual ones. There's already a lot of people here. Some people dream of having sex on a private plane at an altitude of several thousand meters, some imagine themselves as a gentleman from the 19th century seducing a maid, and some dream about a traffic police officer stopping a car. It is not harmful to dream, it is harmful not to dream, the main thing is that these dreams do not turn into an obsession.

One day, my good friend and I were drinking tea, chatting about various nonsense, and, for some unknown reason, the conversation suddenly changed direction. “Do you have a good photographer?” – a friend suddenly asked. “No,” I lied, suspecting something was wrong. - And what?" “Well, I would do a beautiful erotic photo shoot...” “And then what?” – my eyes narrowed slightly. “I’d just put you in a folder” - a nod towards the laptop... “Uh-huh, right now, I haven’t put you in a folder yet!” And we burst out laughing, at the same time remembering the killer dialogue between Richard Gere and the beauty Julia Roberts: “You got on my fax.” - “Oh, I haven’t sat on this one yet...”

Where dreams lead

I started with chats and forums, continued with private conversations: to one, another, tenth friend, not over a cup of tea, but over a glass or two of chardonnay, I asked the same question: “Tell me about your coolest sexual fantasy.” At first, the conversation, as a rule, did not go well, but time and chardonnay did their job: after a couple of weeks, the rating of the most common erotic female fantasies was ready.

Sex on the beach

Hot, unrestrained, spontaneous sex somewhere in unusual place– on the beach, in an elevator, a fitting room, on a football field, in a cinema, in a train compartment, on a park bench, back seat car, in an abandoned house, restaurant toilet... When passion takes over hot wave, and the adrenaline is off the charts. The unpredictability of the situation, the fear of being taken by surprise - this is what, it turns out, turns on most of the fair sex beyond childishness.

Advice: you can safely share your dream with your partner: 90% of men are obsessed with such a fantasy! Of course, you shouldn’t implement it in front of people, but a night beach, a desk in the office, a balcony, and SV trains will wonderfully diversify your sex life.

A mysterious stranger

For example, a night bar in a small town where you found yourself by chance, twilight, pleasant music. He comes up from behind and gently but powerfully takes you to dance, you feel an insane attraction to each other, in the nearest hotel you surrender to him for a long time, sensually and recklessly. And after an unrestrained night of love, it dissolves even before the first rays of the sun touch your eyelids.

Advice: You can make this fantasy come true with your man. Arrange to meet in a cafe or bar. Act as if you are meeting each other for the first time: flirt, laugh, tease each other, and then go to the hotel and give yourself to each other as if it were your first time. last time. Wake up before your loved one and “dissolve”, leaving only a trail of perfume as a memory.

Until dawn a slave

Almost according to Severyanin: “it was by the sea, where there was openwork foam...” Do you remember? It all started with a pomegranate, “and then she gave in, gave in thunderously, until sunrise the mistress slept like a slave...” Many variations of unconditional submission are grouped around this theme male power, from innocent games of being obedient slaves and secretaries to simulating rape.

Handcuffed, tied to a bed, clothes roughly torn - thoughts of wild, passionate, animal sex turn on many more women than one could imagine.

Advice: don’t be shy to tell your MCH about your fantasy. 99% out of 100 that he himself was overcome by a similar idea more than once, but he was afraid to bring it to life, believing that he might offend your tender feelings.

Three in a boat

No, it is not at all necessary that it be a boat, yacht or cruiser "Aurora". There is one indispensable condition: there must be three partners - two magnificent pumped up, tanned, courageous handsome men, one she and passionate long-term sex. And what? There can never be too much of a good thing. You are caressed by four hands, kissed by two mouths, and the rest is also twice as much. In addition, the thought that two males are completely absorbed in you is incredibly exciting and liberating at the same time.

Advice: this is one of those fantasies that you should tell your husband about last resort, especially if he is jealous. But there is a way out: visit a sex shop with your loved one and buy a couple of toys. Then ask him to blindfold you and let him do whatever he wants with you. Blindfolds will disorient you in space, and toys will partially replace the missing third.

...and then Clooney walks in

...Brad Pitt, Al Pacino, Andrei Arshavin, Johnny Depp, David Beckham, etc. (Underline whatever applicable). Star handsome man gorgeous body and with a sensual smile, without saying a word, he lightly touches your lips with his lips, presses you to the wall and slowly unbuttons your blouse. The lights go down and you do it standing up. Either sitting or in the dentist's chair. Or you accidentally ended up in the men's room during the Oscar ceremony, and suddenly an angry George Clooney, who did not receive the coveted statuette for best male role. Kiss, blouse, curtain...

Advice: no, well, you definitely shouldn’t tell your husband about Brad Pitt. But dreams of this kind are evidence that you are clearly missing something in sex. The alternative is simple: either find the right words and try with real person, and not a fictional playboy, or continue to be afraid and dissatisfied.

Therefore...

You should live. If possible, it is fun, bright, varied, without being constrained, without driving oneself into the framework of conventions and imaginary decency. Fantasies brought to life will give you a feeling of novelty and bring back your former passion.

Anna Sedova