Today it has become fashionable to look for the roots of all your problems in deep childhood. Yes, of course, parents can be bad. Yes, it is a fact that some parents traumatize their children for the rest of their lives. Yes, unfortunately, these childhood traumas will then have to be worked through with a specialist in order to finally heal happily. But, let's be honest: firstly, domestic violence is still not a widespread story. Most of us, fortunately, have not encountered this. And secondly, you, sorry, have grown up. All. You're a big girl. And you must solve your problems yourself. Stop whining about how your parents didn’t give you something, deprived you of something, or raised you wrong. Your parents don't have to be perfect. They are not a function, but living people with their own problems. And you look pathetic whining about how hard your life is now because your mom didn't buy you a Barbie 20 years ago.

Judging someone else's appearance

You must understand: lookism is discrimination. You have no right to discriminate against people external signs. Even if you justify yourself, covering them with false concern for the well-being of a person. Someone else’s weight doesn’t concern you, and you don’t need to hypocritically lament about someone else’s problems. of cardio-vascular system or joints. A person will figure out for himself what to do with his body, his health and his appearance. And if a person posts photographs of his body on the Internet, he should not at all be prepared for veiled insults, which for some reason are called “criticism”: a woman with unshaven armpits doesn't shave his armpits, not yours. Nobody asked you if you thought it was beautiful. Someone else's body is none of your business.

Devaluate other people's experiences

“Oh, come on, I had it worse!”, “I found something to worry about, me too!”, “Some people have nothing to eat, and you whine because of such nonsense!” — have you said anything like this to anyone? If yes, you devalued other people's experiences. We understand that the culture of empathy is not yet the case. in the best possible way: we were not taught to empathize, we do not know how to properly express support, and advice from psychological literature seems ineffective to us. Well, we really don't know how to say, “I'm really sorry that happened to you.” Such phrases seem artificial to us. But it’s never too late to learn, that’s the first thing. And secondly, it is often enough just not to consider other people’s problems as meaningless nonsense, and this will already be a serious support.

Do good

If you want to help someone, first of all remember that you need to help upon request. And without a request, it’s not necessary. There is no need to do good or benefit to anyone without a direct request. Because this will only do you harm.

Discussing someone else's reproductive system

Never do that. This is taboo. If someone you know does not have children, this does not concern you, and there is no need to ask questions on this topic. Because perhaps these people are childfree, or maybe they want to have children, but cannot. And your questions hurt them. There is no need to ask a young mother when she plans to give birth to her second child. And finally, never ask anyone what they were thinking when they decided to give birth “in such a situation.” And one more thing: you have the right to dispose only and exclusively of your own womb. Not strangers. Other people's pregnancies, other people's abortions, aspects of birth control and family planning should not concern you. This is personal. No one has ever invited you into their bed, and barging in is unacceptable.

Blame the victim

“What was she thinking when she did this?” and “It’s my own fault!” - the most terrible phrases you can ever utter. Blaming the victim is supporting the perpetrator. Always. You can’t say: “Yes, the criminal is guilty, but...” You won’t be able to eat a fish or climb a tree. If you blame the victim, you support the criminal. Or or. There is no third.

Criticize

Criticism, like help, should be given upon request. If a friend asks you how you like her new hairstyle or a dress - feel free to criticize. If a friend sends you an article, asks you to read it and express your opinion, feel free to criticize it. And if these same people boast about a new haircut, a new dress, or an article on social networks, there is no need to criticize. Nobody asked you to do this.

Telling that you are a “decent girl”

That you're not like that. That this will not happen to you, because you are smart, far-sighted, careful, practical - emphasize what needs to be emphasized. There is no need to explain to people in this way that they are fools, you are the only smart one. Because they'll think it's exactly the opposite, you know?

Before writing a couple of articles on this topic, I didn’t think very long and made the only correct, in my opinion, decision: not to read under any circumstances what women, including those who make up countless army of copywriters for bourgeois websites.

It's much better to show women what we want from them with our, male point vision. So to speak, to turn ourselves outside.

This may seem rude to you, but in the article we will give row rules(even clear instructions for action) that a woman must do to be an ideal companion for a man.

In this note, as we have already agreed, there is no intimacy - only everyday life and the psychology of the relationship between a man and a woman.

Shakespeare once wrote that even the strongest boat of love is mercilessly broken by the rocks of everyday life..

The experience of all of us and the older generation shows that, unfortunately, this is so. However, there is in the world happy couples, in which a man idolizes his chosen one. It may be difficult for you to understand why this is so, and “what did I do wrong?” In fact, there are not so many of these “not so” in female behavior compared to the endless series of conventions that women set for men.

Recently, while browsing through my favorite pages on VKontakte, I came across this joke about the relationship between men and women:

HOW TO MAKE A MAN HAPPY?

1. Have sex with him.
2. Feed.
3. Leave alone.

HOW TO MAKE A WOMAN HAPPY?

It's not that difficult. You just have to be:

1. Friend
2. Lover
3. Brother
4. Father
5. The owner
6. teacher
7. Cook
8. Roofer
9. Plumber
10. Mechanic
11. Decorator
12. Stylist
13. Sex therapist
14. Psychologist
15. Therapist
16. Organizer
17. Brave
18. Clean
19. Dear
20. Kind
21. Generous
22. Tender
23. Attentive
24. Gallant
25. Intelligent
26. Educated
27. With a sense of humor
28. Inventive
29. Sports
30. Strong
31. Understanding
32. Compliant
33. Tolerant
34. Condescending
35. Cautious
36. Soft
37. Rich
38. Decisive
39. Reliable
40. Polite

WITHOUT FORGETING:

• Give compliments often
• Love shopping
• Don't make trouble and don't look for problems
• Don't annoy her
• Don't look at other girls

AT THE SAME TIME IT IS NECESSARY:

• Be careful
• Don't be jealous
• Get along with her family
• Finding time for her... while at the same time giving her space, caring for her

FINALLY, VERY IMPORTANT:

NEVER!!! Don't forget the dates:

• birthdays
• first meeting
• engagements
• weddings

Holy truth. From our male point of view. So, let's begin to identify the characteristics of the ideal girl.

Rule 1: DO NOT DEMAND THE IMPOSSIBLE FROM HIM, and every day.

It may be difficult to understand, but when a man worked hard at 2-3-...-N jobs and came home, he was tired. So it's only natural that he might forget to go on a long tirade about how much he loves you, or forget to bring you fresh flowers, or forget to buy your favorite juice at the supermarket. Separately, all this is quite natural and necessary, but not all at once...

Look at the list above and think about how much it differs from the Army's Manual of the Armed Forces. In the entire Charter, by the way, there are fewer clauses for privates.

So, from time to time we need days off from your “charter”.

So, at the beginning of the 17th century Rabbi Yitzchak Ben Elyakim wrote from Poznan "10 Commandments" ideal wife» , which he placed in one big book « Kind heart" He wrote it for the edification of his daughter.

These ones "10 Commandments of the Ideal Wife" :

1. Don't wake your husband when he's sleeping
2. Hunger breeds anger. Don't make him wait for food
3. There is no need to prove to him that your advice is better than his. Don't talk back to your husband
4. Don't say anything to make him angry. Treat him like a king and he will be your slave
5. Don't hate his friends and love his enemies
6. Be careful with his finances and don't hide your financial affairs.
7. Keep his secrets secret. If he is boastful, and this is not “take it out into the common yard”
8. When your husband is angry, smile and be quiet.
9. Be attentive to his requests
10. Don't expect the impossible from him

To be honest, I first came across this myself a couple of days ago, when I was thinking about the points of this note, and I was disappointed: a lot has already been said here that I wanted to say. True, there is something to disagree with. So we’ll duplicate it somewhere and refute it somewhere. So let's move on.

Rule 2: HIS FRIENDS.

Remember: this is HOLY! Don't you dare ever, under any circumstances, say anything bad about HIS FRIENDS. And moreover, never dare to tell him: “Choose: either me or your friends.” When you say it 9 times, he will endure it. The tenth answer will be categorical: “Of course, my friends.” And you will be sent to your mother, where you were going after the last scandal. But this time on his initiative and to the end.

If, from your point of view, his friends are all alcoholics, parasites and sheep, then this is your personal opinion, and let it remain with you. It is a priori impossible to talk to him about this.

Well, as for enemies - here this rabbi, in my opinion, is too categorical: every person (except friends) can be judged adequately, and if you point out to your loved one positive features his hated boss or another enemy of the people, he will not be against it.

Rule 3: HIS DOG (cat, parrot, fish).

The animal that he got before meeting you, by definition, cannot be ugly, stupid, “hairy, there is fur all over the room.” Do not dare to offend his animal or speak disapprovingly of him.

Advice: if you are just winning his heart, then immediately make friends with his animal - a man will be impressed by this. If you are not a Greenpeace member, then at least pretend that you care about this dog, cat, iguana, etc.

Rule 4: YOUR MOTHER.

His mother-in-law. Or future mother-in-law. Or potential. Doesn't matter. Remember: if your mother had the imprudence to speak disapprovingly in his direction at least once in her life, then she will be enemy No. 1 for him for eternity. That's why if you don’t want to awaken the beast in him instead of the hamster, FORGET the words “WHAT MY MOM SAID.” Your mother's opinion interests him about the same as the problem of owl migration or the volume of drug smuggling from Brazil to Bolivia. Giving an example about the opinion of his mother-in-law will only cause, at a minimum, dissatisfaction with him. To give 5 or 6 such examples in one year of life would obviously send a curse on the mother-in-law on his part.

If you think that your mother is right on a particular issue, then say this: “You know, I BELIEVE that...” The effect is in this case will be positive.

Rule 5: DO NOT Wash your dirty laundry in public.

By at least, don't do it in front of him.

Remember: it just infuriates him when you and your mother, sister and girlfriend discuss for half an hour on the phone your scandal yesterday or his new shirt.

Moreover, here is another terrible secret: it is better to postpone a half-hour conversation with your mother, even on abstract topics, when he is not next to you. On extreme case, you can just go to the kitchen.

Rule 6: DON'T AGAIN A MAN

As for “Don’t talk back to your husband,” I don’t agree with the rabbi. We men are, of course, stubborn people, but we also don’t like weak-willed sheep who don’t have their own opinions. You just don't need to act on the principle of " feminine logic– negation of masculine.”

On the other hand, we don’t like female slaves in the “my beloved is always right” style without their own “I” either. It's like a meat dish without seasoning - it gets boring over the years. But also We never allow a woman to be higher than ourselves in our thoughts - we cannot keep a man “on a leash”.

The same applies to HIS IDEAS. Even if it seems to you that his next idea is “the ravings of a madman,” then tell him about it gently. If it seems to you that ALL his ideas are insanity, it is better to either break up with him or keep your opinion to yourself. Otherwise, you are guaranteed either jihad or a husband suffering from depression.

Rule 7: FOOD

The rabbi's comment about FOOD was probably too cool. A little hunger can be tolerated. But never forbid him to eat what he wants, under the pretext that “it is harmful”. And if he doesn’t like some kind of culinary work of yours, then get rid of it (from the dish, I mean). Family and relationships will be stronger.

It is true that the way to a man's heart is through his stomach. And don’t force him to eat something he doesn’t like - on the 10th such occasion, you risk hearing a heart-rending scream a la “I WILL NOT CHOCK ON THIS MAST!”

Rule 8: MONEY.

Ladies, let's be honest - you de facto never have enough of them. But even if you have enough, even if you don’t have enough for a new fur coat, you should never, under any circumstances, go into his wallet or give out anything in the style of “I took your card, I’ll withdraw the money myself.” Firstly, it humiliates him, and secondly, a man will always have his own money, which you will not know about. And you shouldn’t try to find out about them under any pretext.

Do you know why all men strive to have their own garage, even if they don’t have a car? Because their “norm” from you is always kept there. But God forbid you from the sin of trying to find it and - this is generally mortally dangerous - devastate it. If a man saves money “on the sly,” then he does it for your own good, since he is saving for new house, a car or just as a surprise for you. Break your vow of non-interference once and you can get a ticket to your mother. With things. This is serious.

Rule 9: BLACKMAIL

Don't blackmail him! The statements “I’ll turn around now and go to my mother,” which are made in order to argue with him and “put him on a leash,” are more than dangerous. No one normal man will not tolerate this more than twice - on the third you will actually go to your mother according to the One way ticket principle.

The same applies to insincere tears - an attempt to cry in order to “break through” it is very easily calculated by us.

Dear ladies, we are not as stupid as you think.

Rule 10: E-MAIL. SOCIAL NETWORK. TELEPHONE. NOTEBOOK.

Unlearn the habit of constantly examining them for “What if...”.

Men are not all males, as it seems to you or as you secretly would like. Total control provokes a man to take unauthorized actions towards you, of which you latently suspect him. You will endlessly look for your mistress in his contacts - he will eventually find her, doing it to spite you.

I’m not saying that it’s absolutely forbidden to check us at all. But this rarely needs to be done. No more than once a year. I checked all the indicated points at once: phone, email, social network, calmed down and forgot for a year.

Rule 11: DON'T MAKE HIM A FOOL.

Especially in front of friends. Otherwise, you will be made out to be a fool at the moment, and very harshly.

And remember: sometimes it’s better to remain silent in front of him and his friends if you don’t know something.

An example from life on this topic: the three of us gathered to drink whiskey, the third brings his new passion. After 15 minutes of presence, the glamorous kitty told her boyfriend: “You can’t even cut meat yourself normally, you need to be taught everything. BUT I WILL TEACH YOU EVERYTHING AND WILL TELL YOU EVERYTHING”... They show Zhirinovsky on TV, who answered the question “Where did you get your Maybach” with his characteristic sense of humor: “From Germany.” The young man, angry with his girl, turns to her and asks with a trick: “WHO is this Maybach, do you even know?” Kiso, without any hesitation, said: “They probably worked together in Germany.” I wasn’t the only one, because of my upbringing, then bit the inside of my cheek so as not to neigh like Przewalski’s horse.”

And the last thing:

Rule 12: DON'T THINK OF COMMANDING THEM.

Especially trying to do this in public. Sooner or later you will light the fuse from a powder keg with this. If there are “dog-rags” among men, then the percentage of them is very small.

I didn’t want to seem cynical, our dear Women, so if I offended someone, don’t judge strictly, for God’s sake. But the bitter truth is better... In general, Katya Ogonyok once sang about all this quite well in her song “A Woman’s Luck.” Find it on the Internet and listen, I won’t quote it here due to the peculiar vocabulary in a couple of places in the song. The song is fun but educational. Except for the “I’m pregnant” blackmail. Well, we already talked about blackmail.

In general, we men are like children. For us to love you, we must also be LOVE! This is the main rule! :)

A woman over 40 is at that privileged age when all restrictions and prohibitions are removed from her. This is a chic age when “already” and “still” are in complete harmony and perfect balance. When beauty and experience come together, you have the power to control your life.

But there is a certain list of what a woman “over 40” SHOULD NOT do

So, what is unforgivable for a woman over 40?

Be ashamed of your age

It's funny trying to hide your age. Yes, your “mental” age may be much less than your biological age. But no matter how much you take care of yourself, you will still be a forty-year-old (fifty-year-old, etc.) woman who “looks younger than her age.” Don't chase after vanishing youth. Let her go.

Be lenient towards men

The time has passed when you found excuses for their indifference and inattention. When they turned a blind eye to their mistakes. When infidelity and lies were forgiven. It's in the past. Now such relationships degrade your dignity (or maybe they always have).

Reject help from your children

Yes, they are used to seeing you strong and independent. But maybe it's time for them to understand that sometimes you too want to be just weak woman who needs their support?

Save on yourself

For as long as you can remember, everyone close to you has always needed something. And their needs were put at the forefront. At the same time, their own needs were pushed into the background: cheaper cream, sew up tights, underwear - and that will do. This is over! Decorate yourself, cherish, pamper yourself! After all, you are at the age of a queen. And it is unforgivable for the queen to carry the same bag for three years!

Indulging in useless regrets and bitter memories

It’s better to use your allotted life time more constructively! It’s easier to say – live in the present moment.

Feeling embarrassed about your body in bed

Remember, if a man is here with you now, it means he likes you for who you are. And everyone has shortcomings.

Wasting your time on people you're not interested in being with

And those that do not contribute to personal growth. About all sorts of energy vampires and there is nothing to say about envious people. Drive them away from you with a filthy broom!

And lastly: it is unforgivable for a woman over 40 to be unhappy. So everyone, be happy and loved!

Men have their own opinions about what should be real woman. Representatives of the stronger sex make quite a lot of demands on their chosen ones. This also applies appearance, and character traits, and many other aspects.

General requirements

Men are quite demanding of their partners. They have their own idea of ​​what it should be. In their opinion, it must certainly have the following characteristics:

• to be feminine and gentle, which manifests itself not only in appearance, but also in behavior;
• be able to love your partner ardently and passionately;
• be able to love not only your partner, but the whole the world;
• be wise and reasonable in all situations;
• have a certain zest that gives a unique personality;
• be flirty to attract attention, but not cheeky;
• be able to create a warm and cozy atmosphere around you;
• respect yourself and have self-esteem;
• have interesting hobbies and constantly expand your horizons.

This is far from a complete range of requirements that determine what a real woman should be like in the opinion of men. And there is no point in rebelling against them. These are not some male whims. Every woman who strives for the ideal must make these demands on herself and work on herself in this direction.

Appearance

It's no secret that the first impression of a person is based on their appearance. So, speaking about what a real woman should be, it is worth noting the following:

• when going out (even if it’s going to the nearest store for bread), a woman should look impeccable;
• better to have one Nice dress and a couple quality shoes than many base things;
• even following fashion, you cannot go to extremes and remain true to your style;
• cannot be abused decorative cosmetics, but you shouldn’t give it up altogether either;
• if the slightest defects in appearance are identified, he will hurry to eliminate them;
• a real woman knows how to walk the line between sexuality and vulgarity;
• It’s better to have one bottle of original perfume (even the smallest one) than a lot of counterfeit scents.

Despite all the talk about the importance inner world However, appearance is sometimes the determining factor. In order for a man to see and love your soul, he must first become interested in your face and figure.

What should a real woman be like and what should she be able to do?

Of course, appearance matters a lot, but it's also worth paying attention to some skills. So what should a real woman be like? She should be able to do the following:

• choose clothes not only for yourself, but also for your man;
• maintain a conversation in any society and in any situation;
• understand various fields art;
• raise children;
• prepare delicious and healthy food;
• remain silent when an extra word spoken could lead to a scandal;
• capitalize on your weaknesses.

As you can see, becoming a real woman is no easier, and sometimes more difficult, than good specialist in one area or another.

What should a real woman be like and how should she behave?

A real woman must have certain behavioral skills. In this regard, the following requirements are put forward to it:

• a woman should watch what and where she says, and not chat incessantly;
• You should avoid swear words, even among close friends;
• you need to be restrained even when there is unbridled fun or a loud scandal around;
• You should never raise your tone, shout or swear (it’s better to remain proudly silent, thinking about a plan for further actions);
• You can be capricious sometimes, but know when to stop.

A woman's behavior is a kind of Only by choosing the right line, you can succeed.

Head of the family

Despite the fact that the man is considered the head of the family, it is the woman who determines how strong the bonds will be. What qualities should a real woman have to become a keeper? hearth and home? It's about about the following:

• a woman must be loving, able not only to take, but also to give warmth to others;
• she should radiate kindness, compassion and be able to forgive both minor and major mistakes;
• a woman should show wisdom and patience in all life situations;
• you need to have the skills of a real psychologist in order to be able to find a way out of even the most difficult family crises;
• whatever one may say, family life is inextricably linked with numerous household chores, and therefore, among other things, a woman must be hardworking;
• As the head of the family, wife and mother must be fair and honest.

As you can see, it is not the man, but the woman who is the head of the family. Playing so many roles, she doesn't give family hearth go out.

Laws of the ideal woman

Striving for the ideal, it is useful to know what a real woman should be like. In the eyes of a man, you will be the best and most irresistible if you follow the following basic laws:

• Under no circumstances should you complain about your “difficult women's share". A woman should be happy and proud to be who she is.
• Regardless of age, take care of your appearance and look 100%. It is not true that women say goodbye to their beauty early.
• Don't pamper a man too much with your attention. He should be the one looking after you, not you looking after him. Bringing your husband breakfast in bed is only permissible on his birthday or if he is unwell.
• You should not be interested in other people's affairs and, especially, solve other people's problems if you are not asked to do so. Better get yourself a couple of hobbies.
• Never admit that you made something for yourself. It is unlikely that anyone will appreciate your art, but rumors will spread about your difficult financial situation.
• Even if you don’t like a certain boyfriend, you shouldn’t distance him too much from you. A real woman is always surrounded by men, which makes her even more attractive.
• Despite the fact that most men cannot resist a woman's tears, you should not use this weapon too often. Save it for a special occasion.
• You shouldn’t trumpet your merits publicly. It is better to demonstrate your virtues in practice.
• Don't be afraid of change. They are simply necessary for a woman. If you are satisfied with everything both at work and on the personal front, then change your wardrobe more often.

Being a real woman is a complex philosophy. You should not think that such abilities are inherent in beautiful ladies from birth. This is the result of hard work and life experience.

Why is it better to be a woman than a man?

We often hear about what a real woman should be like through the eyes of every man. Beautiful half humanity seems somewhat dependent and not as perfect as the representatives of the stronger sex. However, women have many advantages, which are expressed in the following:

• they have acute intuition, which allows them to subtly feel and understand what is inaccessible to a man;
• they are attractive and can achieve a lot with their beauty;
• they produce children;
• much in this world is provided specifically for them - fashion, cosmetics and everything related to the beauty industry;
• no matter how heated the argument may be, it is enough for a woman to shed a tear and she will be the winner.

Of course, looking from the outside, we can say that it is much easier. But it is unlikely that any lady will agree to swap roles and bodies.

conclusions

How many requirements are there for the fair sex V modern world! Unfortunately, this is an objective reality. In order to win your place in the sun and get your prince, it is important to be a real woman. This refers to a combination of beauty, style, intelligence, wisdom, many skills and character traits. A woman should be different - weak, strong, a housewife, a breadwinner, a lover, and a good conversationalist. In fact, playing all these roles is not as difficult as it might seem at first glance. The main thing is to love yourself, believe in your strength, and then the world around you will reciprocate.