Nowadays we are going through a significant crisis and this is no secret to anyone. This crisis has hit marriages especially hard. Divorce statistics are constantly growing, and a woman concerned about the fate of her family asks the question: how to improve relations with her husband before things reach a critical point? Everything is very simple here - a woman needs to invest her mind, soul and heart into her family, and not ambitions, claims and high expectations.

It's a shame when your attempts to improve everything are perceived as if you want to drown the relationship even more...
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Pitfalls of any marriage

Before you can solve a problem, you need to find its root. Probably, in a family with any level of life, both small quarrels and serious scandals are possible. A woman, the guardian of the family hearth, simply must know how to improve family relationships with her husband if a conflict arises. And these conflicts can be very different:

1. Minor domestic quarrel

Of course, it is better to prevent quarrels than to deal with their consequences later. To avoid quarrels over trifles, a woman should show restraint. Keep silent if something suddenly seemed wrong to her. It should be understood that the spouse does not physically know how to read the thoughts of other people, including yours. Also, psychologists have proven that a man reacts very painfully in his soul to criticism of his efforts. Such quarrels are a common occurrence during repairs, cleaning, or joint purchases.

If trouble does happen, then male psychology will tell you how to improve relations with your husband after a quarrel. According to statistics, many men do not tend to hold a grudge for a long time, but if you add female affection to this, then reconciliation will take place even faster. Approaching first, hugging, caressing, apologizing - even if you think in your heart that he is wrong, is the most effective and sure way in this situation. Now you know how to improve your relationship with your husband after a quarrel correctly, without resorting to reproaches and hysterics.

2. Misunderstanding

If you think about how to improve relationships in a situation where both spouses are constantly arguing with or without reason, you may not find a solution at all. When mutual understanding leaves a family, peace goes with it. This happens due to selfishness, when one’s own interests are placed above the interests of the spouse. In such a situation, everything is in the hands of the woman. If she is the initiator of conflicts, then it is worth understanding that the husband has his own tastes and preferences, they need to be accepted and respected, and not try to impose his point of view.

It’s another matter when the initiator of the dispute is the spouse himself. Not every woman can understand how to improve family relationships with a husband who really finds fault, gives instructions, criticizes and reproaches. And indeed, if you continue to live with such a tyrant at home, it will not lead to anything good. Here it is necessary to either endure or compromise, because such male behavior is difficult to correct. Only a family psychologist can help.

No matter how easy the conflict situation may be, it is better to try to survive it with minimal losses. Do not shift the blame onto your spouse for non-existent sins, do not reproach him and do not impose your opinion - the best strategy for wise female behavior.

Serious problems

Things are much worse when real disasters come to the family. Not every woman is able to survive them, not every woman knows how to improve relationships after betrayal or how to improve relations with her husband on the verge of separation? Here are the most common situations where intelligence, heart, and ingenuity are required:

1. Jealousy and mistrust

It’s impossible to count how many destinies these two interconnected feelings have destroyed! It is sometimes impossible to explain your innocence and devotion to a pathological jealous person. Sometimes a woman simply cannot stand it, because how can she improve her relationship with her husband on the verge of a nervous breakdown?

For such situations, there are two quite effective solutions:

• Try to prove your love to your husband again. Give him gifts. Passionate, full of feelings letters are especially suitable. Leave love notes for such a jealous person in your jacket pocket or organizer, send love SMS, poems, etc. In general, surround your spouse with attention. Perhaps his jealousy is simply caused by a lack of this same attention, and you are worrying in vain.
• Give your spouse the opportunity to feel like the main man in your life. Even if you understand that he is already in charge, it is important that this reaches him too. To begin with, start asking your husband for advice on any matter. Avoid going to friends' houses or public places for a while where your husband won't be able to be with you. Be sure to ask his advice and opinion about the clothes you are going to wear when going out. By doing this, you will not only let him understand his importance, but also protect yourself from an unnecessary outburst of complaints, because he himself chose what you should wear and where you should go.

2. Treason

Scientists have repeatedly argued that men are polygamous by nature. That is, they are not always able to remain faithful to one and only one.
For many wives, the word cheating is synonymous with the death of a relationship. Most people have no idea how to improve relationships after cheating because they don’t want to. Every second woman, after her husband’s betrayal, files for divorce. Is there an alternative for those who, despite the pain, decide to keep their family together?

Yes, there are some ways to improve your relationship with your husband after cheating:

• Try to forget the fact of betrayal and forgive your husband. Maybe not even out loud, but in the soul, for yourself personally. To do this, it is better to be alone with yourself for some time, perhaps even live apart for some time.
• Try to find excuses for your husband. The very first thing is that your husband returned to you, and did not leave you. Think about it, maybe he just has such an addicting character, maybe he didn’t intentionally commit treason. Deceiving yourself is certainly not good, so here you need to be strict and subjective. Don’t look for excuses out of thin air, but analyze the facts. Try to put yourself in his place. Would you like to be forgiven?
• If you are wondering how to improve your relationship with your husband after cheating once and for all, then feel free to repeat and memorize a simple everyday mantra: “never, under any circumstances, remember, reproach or tell anyone about the fact of your spouse’s betrayal, including to him". If a woman’s pride prevails even after her husband’s betrayal, this fact turns into a favorite weapon, then your husband will very soon rush to leave under the yoke of guilt.

The complexity of human relationships is sometimes beyond the control of personal desires. And sometimes it is necessary to sacrifice one’s own pride and stubbornness on the altar of the family. It is important to understand that a loving heart will endure everything and forgive everything, the main thing is that it is justified and that your husband is worth these sacrifices.

From love to friendship

Quite often one has to observe how divorced spouses (whose relationship has truly ended in love) part as enemies and the woman resorts to various unpleasant actions:

1. Manipulation of children;
2. Threats;
3. Reproaches;
4. Complaints;
5. The desire to denigrate the ex-spouse in the eyes of others.

In such a situation, it is stupid to expect iron patience and a normal attitude from a man. After a divorce, a woman should think about how to improve relations with her ex-husband, and not continue to sort things out with him.

What is the best thing for a woman to do after a divorce, and how can she improve her relationship with her ex-husband:

• Stop seeing a man as an enemy. There is no need to look for someone to blame if your marriage is a thing of the past. It is better to think about the future and keep a human face. Look at your ex-husband with the same eyes with which you look at your work colleagues or just acquaintances. He is a human being and if he has offended you somewhere, forgive him and do not hold a grudge.
• Don't speculate with your child. Sometimes separation occurs some time after the birth of the first child. A man who has not previously known all the delights of fatherhood loses his nerves; you should not blame him or reproach him for this. A woman, as a mother, is naturally stronger in spirit, so after childbirth
• Tell your common children only good things about their father, try to encourage them to communicate frequently. Under no circumstances should you place your grievances and complexes on the fragile shoulders of children. If they tell dad in what colors mom speaks about him, this will determine your future relationship for a long time. You can invite your ex-husband to family holidays and try to establish simple, friendly communication with him.
• Don't be afraid to ask for help. Feel free to call your ex-spouse, don’t consider it something low. Asking for advice or asking for help is natural, and besides, he is not a stranger.

Of course, relationships of this kind are purely individual. If the spouse really caused a serious wound, refuses to help the children, behaves disgracefully, then you should not even try to improve your relationship with him. Just remain human in any situation.

Greetings to all! Today I want to tell you how to improve relationships with your spouse, boyfriend or girlfriend. The basis for this article was, which was supported by my readers.

I asked them to email me about their relationship problems and based on their responses, I have tried to present the most common relationship problems among couples in this article. I also based myself on my past life mistakes with my wife. From these mistakes I drew conclusions, which I will gladly share in these rules.

Rule 1 - Take responsibility

We have all heard a lot about how important it is to be able to accept responsibility in a relationship. And what catastrophes lead to the fact that partners begin to shift the blame for their actions and words onto another person or blame circumstances for everything.

But for me, accepting responsibility means not only openly admitting your guilt, but, most importantly, it means being ready to correct what happened due to your fault. People who blame their partner or someone else for their troubles, but not themselves, simply capitulate to difficulties and give up. “It’s not my fault, so I can’t do anything about it!”

But taking responsibility means coming to the conclusion: “Yes, this happened because of me, which means I can influence it!”

I understand how difficult it can be to admit to your partner that you made a mistake, that you could have done better than you did. And it is most difficult to do this in those moments when your pride is hurt. But if you don’t do this, then you will turn away from the problem and it will remain hanging, unresolved, in the space of your relationship.

It subconsciously seems to you that by admitting mistakes, you are demonstrating weakness. But in fact, by accepting responsibility, stepping over your wounded pride and self-esteem, you show real strength! Because it is much easier to blame someone else than to admit your mistake! The desire to point out the true causes of the problem and correct them, even if you created these causes, is a sign of true courage and wisdom.

Where does your responsibility in a relationship begin and end? I believe that it extends much further than many of you are accustomed to think. You are responsible not only for your actions, but also for your reaction to events.

If your wife infuriated you with her unfair accusation, and you offended her in return, then not only your spouse is to blame for starting to unfairly accuse you, but also you. Your responsibility lies in the fact that you could not control yourself and led to a scandal, although you could have solved the problem more calmly. You are a free person and you are responsible for your reaction, no one can force you to get angry, irritated and lose your temper. You are the only one who loses your temper.

If your husband doesn’t want to give up his bad habits, despite your assurances, think about it: maybe you pressed him too hard, blamed him, instead of being understanding and offering a way out of the problem?

But taking responsibility does not mean blaming yourself for everything. This means coming to realize how much you and your partner can be involved in solving the problem, rather than turning your back on it. In the examples above, both partners are responsible for the problem. And believe me, if you take on part of your responsibility, rather than completely shifting it onto your partner, then it will be much easier for your partner to realize his own participation in the problem.

Agree, there is a big difference between:

“I’m so tired of you constantly blaming me for everything! You can’t live without your claims!”

“I think my mistake is that I lost my temper, I shouldn’t have shouted at you and provoked a conflict. Your accusations are probably not without foundation, but you express them in a very aggressive manner, and it seems to me that they are partly unfair. Let's figure this out. I don’t need to shout, and you need to learn to express your opinion calmly.”

I'm not saying that both spouses are to blame for every conflict. What I'm trying to say is how important it is to solve every problem in a family together! After all, relationships are not only about you, they are also about the other person. And if both partners do not take an active part in the relationship, then such a relationship will collapse.

And if you and your partner cannot share responsibility for the conflict, then use a good rule. Instead of arguing about who is right and who is wrong, ask yourself: “What can I personally do to improve the situation?” Believe me, if each partner is guided by this simple principle, then developing their relationships and finding a way out of problematic situations will become much easier.

Rule 2 - Don't leave conflicts unattended

I know how much I want to hug after the heat of a quarrel has passed, give my tense nerves a rest and calmly forget about what the conflict was about until the next similar one happens. Don't make this common mistake in your relationship! Yes, give yourself time, calm down, make peace, but then return to analyzing the causes of the conflict. Why did it happen? Who is responsible for it? How can you and your spouse solve this problem?

But don't get attached to the temporary excitement caused by the truce. Now you want to act, but soon your fervor will pass. So as not to give up and return to ignoring the problem. Discuss, as specifically as possible, each other's actions aimed at eliminating the conflict. When will you begin these actions? What will these actions be? What approximate timeframes do you see for overcoming the problem?

If one of you constantly loses your temper and becomes overly emotional, start doing practices that help you balance your emotions, such as yoga or.

If conflicts occur due to bad habits of your spouse, then find a way to help the person get rid of these habits. But let those who struggle with addiction not be left alone! Let him see understanding, love and willingness to provide any support from his partner.

Don't focus only on what you know. If you don’t know a way to solve your problem, this does not mean that such a method does not exist. If you really want to overcome some difficulty, you will find how to do it. Because he who seeks will always find! And all the obstacles are created only by laziness.

Resolve conflicts constructively instead of yelling at each other, and then hugging and forgetting everything until the next quarrel.

Rule 3 - Be less offended and forgive

Resentment in a relationship serves as a way to influence your partner: “look how bad you did, so I won’t talk to you”. Or this could be a way of revenge: “Because you did this, I will be offended by you”. The danger of resentment is the same as the danger of passionate reconciliation, after which we forget what the conflict was about. Emotions slowly subside, resentment passes: after all, we cannot be angry forever. And sometimes it seems to us that with our resentment we have already solved the problem. Or we showed our partner how offended we were, and now we think that he himself will understand everything and correct himself. Or we have endured a “preventive” period of no communication with each other, during which, as it seems to us, our relationship has restored itself and can continue further.

But this is a deceptive feeling, and it can happen not only to you, but also to your partner. Neither you nor he will want to return to a conflict that seems to have already been resolved.

But it is always better to return to the causes of the conflict, as I said in the previous paragraph. If you want to influence your partner, it is always better to do this in the form of a calm, constructive dialogue rather than resentment. Well, revenge certainly won’t make your relationship better.

Some people are also offended because they unconsciously understand the absurdity of their claims, they understand that it is better not to express them directly, but to be offended and not say anything about it is just right! Avoid such games! At all Avoid any methods of manipulating your partner’s feelings, one of which is resentment.

But even if you are offended, then know how to forgive!

Rule 4 - Admit your guilt

It can be very important for your partner that you admit your guilt and are sincerely repentant. Even after the conflict has exhausted itself and you have made peace, do not be lazy to apologize, say how sorry you are if you feel your own mistake. Forget that before this you defended yourself with ardor and did not want to admit responsibility, step over your pride and say that you were wrong. But just do it with a pure heart and sincere intentions!

There is no need to do it as a favor or present it as a generous and noble act in the expectation that your partner will immediately fall on his face before your repentance. Be prepared that your apology may be met coldly and without enthusiasm. You should not react to this as if your noble gesture was not appreciated. Believe me, time will pass, and your repentance will fall like hard cash into the treasury of your relationship!

Rule 5 - Listen to others, learn to take criticism soberly

In the midst of a conflict, when partners exchange accusations and claims, no one actually listens to anyone. Each of the parties to the conflict is in a state of attack or defense, but not of perception and understanding. Our psyche is structured in such a way that we first of all try to defend ourselves from criticism, find contradictions in it, find the most convincing refutation, or respond to it with counter-criticism. The problem is that we do not always think about how it really is, we do not see the truth, obeying the ancient psychic mechanism. And we think that since it seems to us that we are right, it means that we are really right.

Try to change these habitual patterns and instead of immediately looking for another counterargument in a quarrel, think about how valid the criticism addressed to you is? Try to distract yourself from your resentment and irritation. Don't let your wounded Ego run ahead of you like a man stung by a bee.

The Ego stung by criticism makes you think: “I feel like I was wronged, I have to respond.” It prevents you from looking at the problem from another person's perspective. But if we first try to imagine how the other person sees everything, then we will become much more objective and understand our partner better, therefore, we will not react so sharply to criticism and perceive it more soberly.

Just take a time out, calm your emotions, silence the wounded pride that again and again brings you back to the grievances of your “I”. And calmly concentrate on your partner, try to mentally move into him. How does he see the situation in the context of what you know about him and your relationship history? Why is he criticizing you? What reasons does he have for this? How does he react to some of your actions, how does he feel? Does he himself allow such actions towards you? How would you feel if you were treated like this?

During this mental exercise, your Ego will, like a magnet, attract your thoughts back to itself, to the “I” position, as soon as you notice this, smoothly shift your attention to the “HE-SHE (She feels, she wants)” position. When you try this, you will understand that it is not at all easy to go beyond your Self, your desires and put yourself in the place of another person. But everything comes with experience and you can learn over time to change your egocentric perception of everything.

I can’t say that this exercise will necessarily lead you to see only your fault for what happened. No, you will simply begin to understand your partner better and perceive criticism more soberly.

Also ask yourself: How can criticism help you? Yes, exactly to help. Listening to criticism means not perceiving it as a way to undermine your dignity or lower your self-esteem. This is an opportunity to gain insight into your shortcomings, weaknesses, or understand how your partner perceives you.

Imagine that you came to see a doctor for an examination and he told you: “You have poor posture, excess weight and high cholesterol”. It is not very reasonable to answer him: “Look at yourself, you’re not very slim yourself!” Of course, it would be right to listen to the doctor’s words and take advantage of his recommendations, for example, eat less fatty foods and go to the gym.

But why can't we always listen to the words of our other half, even if they relate to our character and personality? After all, we can also change it, recognize our shortcomings and get rid of them, just as we can correct problems with excess weight. Understand that criticism is not meant to remind you of your weaknesses. it gives you the opportunity to improve, to become better!

Of course, it is not always adequate. But if it doesn’t correspond to reality, what’s the point of being offended and worried? And if it is true, then even more so you should not react with retaliatory accusations! Most often there is a mixed version: criticism becomes exaggerated, intensified by emotions and resentment, embellished with speculation. And the true wisdom of relationships lies in being able to isolate from it what is really true and use it to better understand yourself. And at the same time, do not respond to empty and unfounded accusations.

I will explain everything said in this paragraph with an example from my family life. My wife sometimes tells me: "You never listen to me", when I, once again buried in my work, let her words fall on deaf ears.

Of course, my Self does not accept such a harsh formulation: “Never!” (after all, this is not true!) and begins to defend himself. My first reaction was usually: “Yes, you’re exaggerating everything, you’re just distracting me, I can’t switch quickly when I’m working, you yourself can’t find the moments when it’s better to contact me.”. But when you try to distract yourself from your Self, a slightly different picture emerges.

Indeed, often, when my wife contacts me, I do not react, even if I am not busy with work, but just think about something ( I consider this conflict in the context of the history of the relationship in order to understand how she perceives it). Have I noticed such a reaction on her part ( does she act like that?)? When I talk to her, most often she listens to me. But if she constantly ignored my words, then I would probably be offended by it ( what if I were in her place?). And resentment causes emotions due to which she says: “You never listen!” ( what feelings does she have?) Of course, this is an exaggeration, I often listen to what she is trying to tell me. This exaggeration is due to feelings, but these feelings are understandable. I probably need to be more attentive and learn to listen to my spouse when she talks to me, and not get lost in my own thoughts. I will simply become more attentive in life if I learn to listen to her ( How will this help me become a better person?).

Rule 6 - Pay attention to the positive aspects

It just so happens that we gradually get used to the virtues of our other half. They become a given for us, and we mostly begin to notice the shortcomings. These shortcomings are seen especially clearly in comparison with other couples. After I had lived with my future wife for several years, I began to think that perhaps we were not suitable for each other, that we were different in many ways. I began to obsess over the differences and shortcomings, and at one time they seemed to represent the only and most significant problem.

And only a few years later I realized how much we actually have in common. And this commonality and similarity manifests itself in such basic things that you quickly get used to them, and sometimes it is difficult to discern, especially if you start thinking only about the differences and shortcomings of your partner. And the nuances, they are nuances, are to stand out against the background of general patterns, attracting attention to themselves.

People are different from each other and everyone has their shortcomings. You will not be able to find an ideal person or someone ideally similar to you. You just have to accept it.

Try not to constantly compare your partner with others. Try to think about what is good about him, how you are similar to him, instead of thinking only about the bad. Why did you love him? Maybe for understanding, for his character, for his intelligence, for those things that remain in him now, but you just stopped paying attention to them? Imagine these virtues in your mind and mentally thank the person for having them. Or better yet, tell your boyfriend in words how grateful you are to him for his qualities and how much you love him for it! He will be very pleased; he will see that his merits are appreciated and not ignored. Go ahead and do it today when you see it! And in general, try to praise him more often (but don’t overdo it, avoid flattery) so that he can see how dear he is to you, and that you can discern in him what he perhaps values ​​most in himself, what he tries to maintain and develop .

Of course, it happens that your partner is practically nothing but flaws. In this case, there is no need to look for a grain of good in it in order to grab onto it. Something needs to change in the relationship here.

And remember, looking for positive aspects in another person does not mean accepting their shortcomings. Try to help him correct his shortcomings. But you don’t need to use them alone to make up the appearance of a person.

Rule 7 - Be sincere and open

There is a wonderful classic serial film by Ingmar Bergman “Scenes from a Marriage”. The film shows how insincerity, secrecy, and avoidance of “forbidden” topics can lead an apparently prosperous relationship to collapse.

Don’t bring your relationship to what the characters in this picture brought it to (divorce). Remember, there are no “taboo” topics in a relationship. If you are tormented by doubts, fears, insecurities, tell your partner about it. Tell him what you don’t like in your relationship, listen to what he experiences discomfort and displeasure. Discuss it and come to a compromise. There is no need to avoid “touchy” issues like sex, because this is also part of the relationship.

Of course, you should not try to forcefully find out all the secrets of your spouse, but rather reveal all your past secrets yourself. You also need to maintain a balance in this, just like in everything else that concerns your relationship.

Rule 8 - Develop your relationships by developing yourself!

It would be a big mistake to think that relationships will develop on their own once you start them. Relationships require constant attention and involvement of both partners.

Development implies not only strengthening the connection, for example, the decision to live together, marry, or have children, but also the personal development of each partner!

Relationships sometimes require much more from people than loneliness and separate existence. Why? Because in order for the connection between two people to be strong and harmonious, both of them will need to step over that part of themselves that can be the hardest to step over! Through your selfishness, your endless desires.

Both partners need to learn to listen to the other, find a compromise, give in and care. But not everyone has these qualities and often they need to be developed. That is why I understand the problems of many young couples, which consist in the fact that there is a strong conflict of interests between two people, one of them or each is trying to do as he wants, without listening to the wishes of the partner.

And there is nothing surprising in this, just as there is nothing surprising in the fact that a person, starting a new job, does it with errors, since he has no experience. But relationships also require experience and certain skills. It happens that before a person had his first relationship, there were no other people with their desires for him. There were his parents who cared for him, friends who didn't demand much. And he had only his “I”, with all his desires, which he was used to satisfying without making allowances for other people. He doesn't even understand that there is another person who also wants something. And the desires of partners do not always coincide.

The ability to find a compromise and listen to another person is a skill that needs to be developed. From my reasoning, it may seem that a relationship is some kind of prison, calling a person to give up what is dear to him for his precious personality. But that's not true. The development of compassion, empathy, the ability to say “no” to thousands of “I want” actually leads to freedom. Freedom from our selfish desires, our Ego that controls us. Altruism is not strict self-restraint, it is an attempt to free oneself from anger, self-indulgence, stubbornness, and self-obsession for the sake of shared happiness. And strong relationships, on the one hand, require a person to step over his egoism, on the other hand, they are an excellent school for the development of altruism, understanding and empathy. I will return to this idea in conclusion.

Relationships discipline and strengthen the personality and through this they themselves become stronger.

Rule 9 - Don't build relationships only around sex

In our free age, after the atmosphere of puritanical morality, which placed a taboo on discussing sex and belittling its role in the lives of spouses, began to evaporate in the relationships of people around the world, people began to strive from one extreme to the other. From the extreme of prohibition and secrecy to the extreme of openness and permissiveness.
Sex has become more and more important to people. Undoubtedly, it has considerable significance in a relationship. But here, too, a balance must be maintained, without overestimating the role of sexual intimacy.

Many people see the disaster in the fact that sex is not as varied and exciting as they would like it to be. This leads them to either break off existing relationships or seek outside relationships. But in fact, sexual pleasure is just one of the many forms of love; besides it, there are many manifestations of love!

Of course, there is nothing wrong with striving to improve the quality of your sex life. But you shouldn’t get hung up on it, believing that the lack of vigorous and frequent sex destroys your relationship, while everything else is fine. Maybe it's not the lack of daily pleasure that makes you unsatisfied? What makes you so is your irrepressible, unbridled desires, which you cannot fully satisfy, no matter how many partners you have and how often you have sex! You cannot give full play to your desires, not only because of some moral considerations, but because the more you indulge them, the hungrier, voracious and insatiable they become!

Constant sex with multiple partners will not make you happy, it will make you addicted!

The Puritan prohibitions also had their own wisdom, aimed at curbing spoilage, depravity and satiety. Although strict prohibitions are also extremes that should be avoided.

No matter how intense sex is, it is not able to bind two partners as tightly as empathy, friendship, deep understanding, care, love. To build a relationship around sex is to make it limited, weak, dependent and incomplete.

Rule 10 - Accept that you may have different interests

Your interests do not have to coincide in everything. There is no need to look for similarity in everything and suffer due to the lack of it. They asked me today. “Nikolai, I see that your wife’s website is dedicated to esotericism, and you yourself seem to be far from mysticism. How do you find a compromise between your views and your spouse’s beliefs?”

The fact of the matter is that I cannot say that we have agreement on this issue and that we are striving for it. My wife believes in things that I don't believe in, but that's okay! Different people have different ideas and beliefs, that’s how we are made. And the art of relationships is to stop making a big deal out of it, to accept the fact that people are different.

It took me a lot of work and time to learn a little not to take the beliefs of my other half with hostility, not to argue about every issue, not to criticize them. I realized how important what she believes in is important to her and I began to respect and appreciate it. After all, it brings joy and peace of mind to the person I love.

I can’t say that we are trying hard to come to some kind of compromise, a synthesis of my views and hers with her beliefs. Despite the fact that we agree in many places, there are places where we categorically disagree with each other. But we try to just leave it as it is and calmly accept it. Why should one person change his views to please another?

If your young man, for example, sometimes plays computer games, and you consider this a useless and stupid activity, then you do not need to try to convince him every time of the nonsense he is doing, if it does not cause much harm to the family. If he allows himself to do this on rare occasions, then leave everything as it is. Respect other people's small and harmless weaknesses. And the height of your generosity and understanding would be, for example, to give him some kind of computer game, even if you think it’s a waste of money. But it will be pleasant for your young man!

Personally, it took me a lot of effort to accept even my wife’s small expenses on esotericism, which, naturally, I considered pointless. But I think I managed to get through this stage and come to the understanding that she likes it, the way she loves it, therefore, these expenses cannot be empty. And I am very glad that I managed to overcome this rejection in myself.

On the other hand, if you yourself are a young man whose spouse accuses him of devoting a couple of hours a week to computer games, take it calmly. There is no need to prove to her in the heat of the moment that you are developing yourself in this way and enter into polemics and quarrels. Yes, your wife cannot understand you, but leave it as it is, do not try to come to an agreement through quarrels and insults. If you stop responding to her attacks, then sooner or later she will run out of “fuel” for accusations.

I don’t want to say at all that there is no need to strive for understanding and compromise. Try to understand how important certain things are to your spouse. But if you just can’t understand it, these things seem empty and stupid to you, just accept it and give your loved one the opportunity to enjoy them. But here you also shouldn’t take this principle to the extreme and allow your partner to engage in some completely destructive behavior, for example, drinking every day or getting involved in drugs. Everything has a limit.

Rule 11 - Know how to say no!

You should not constantly indulge the absurd demands of your spouse. If your significant other, for example, requires you to account for every step you take, outside of his or her presence, then you do not have to satisfy this desire. There is no need to feed other people's shortcomings, such as fear and paranoia. You should not think that by denying your husband or wife something deeply unpleasant to you, you will lose his love and respect. On the contrary, this way you will preserve and demonstrate your own independence, the presence of your own will and your desires.

Rule 12 - Maintain a balance between time spent together and the independence of each partner

Try not to impose yourself too much on your partner. Give him room for independence. You shouldn't try to control his every move and try to fill all your time with being close to him. I understand that this advice is difficult to adhere to for those who see the meaning of life only in their love for one person. But the annoying desire to limit someone else's freedom may meet with resistance and rejection from your partner. To avoid feeling painfully attached to your husband or wife, learn to spend time alone with yourself. After all, in a relationship there should be room for both loneliness and your personal affairs. Find something you enjoy, that brings you joy, that you can do and be passionate about when your partner is not around. Don’t reduce your whole life only to your relationships, expand the horizons of your hobbies and activities!

But at the same time, concern for one’s own independence should not develop into promiscuity and neglect of relationships. Yes, on the one hand, you shouldn’t try to spend all your time in each other’s arms, but you also shouldn’t neglect the care of the relationship and the attention that you can give to your spouse. And there is no need to endure the fact that your significant other does not pay attention to you at all. How to find balance?

Meetings should not be too rare if you are in a serious relationship, but at the same time, you do not have to see each other every day, unless, of course, both want it. If your husband sometimes meets with friends or work partners, then there is nothing wrong with that, he should have his own life. But if this develops into everyday events after work, when he doesn’t see you anyway, then this is already going beyond the scope. In general, there cannot be precise recommendations on how not to cross a certain line between imposition and the right to independence. You need to rely on your wisdom. Remember, the devil lives in extremes!

Rule 13 - Don't play daisy

“Everything is so good with us, he is wonderful and caring, but I think my strong feelings for him have disappeared.” People often make a big problem out of the fact of lack of feelings.

Don't take weakening feelings as a symptom that there are problems in the relationship and some action needs to be taken. Don't get attached to feelings, because they are temporary and impermanent. Passion and intense love pass, such is human nature. Even when they appear in a relationship, they are not permanent: sometimes they are there, sometimes they are not, sometimes you feel some kind of surge of tenderness towards your partner, but at another moment, listening to yourself, you understand that these feelings do not exist.

If you put such an unreliable and fickle thing as feelings at the basis of your relationship, then your relationship will become just as unreliable and fickle. This is the same as building exclusively wind power plants in one country. The weather is very changeable, so the supply of electricity to cities will be very unstable.

I'm not saying that you should completely neglect emotions. You just shouldn't see them as the only criterion for your relationship. You shouldn't get attached to them. If your husband is really caring and sensitive, if everything is fine with you, then you don’t need to constantly play daisy and try to evoke feelings in yourself. This way, on the contrary, you will only attract tension and doubts, which will prevent you from discerning any emotions. Therefore, relax, enjoy the relationship, stop thinking about it, and then the feelings will come on their own, and then go away again, only to return later. After all, they are as unpredictable an element as the wind!

Or perhaps, having relaxed, you will understand that the feelings have always been there, just because of your desire for strong experiences, for unbridled passion, you have already forgotten how to distinguish softer emotions. The abundance of bright sensual colors at the beginning of a relationship can distort your vision, so that you temporarily stop seeing calm tones.

The same can apply to your expectations of your partner. Don't expect him to always be Romeo in love. His feelings are as fickle as yours. Make allowance for the fact that men, as a rule, are more restrained in expressing their feelings than women.

Rule 14 - Learn diplomacy

I am sure that many of those reading this article are faced with the problem that they would like to positively influence their partner, but they cannot. Your partner does not pay attention to you or has shortcomings that he does not want to correct, and you cannot set him on the right path. You are worried about your relationship and have a very noble desire to fix it. I think that those who are used to letting things take their course are unlikely to read about how to fix relationships. So, this is a small compliment to you.

Changing or correcting a partner is a very difficult task and not always feasible. I know this first hand. For a long time, my wife could not do absolutely anything about my laziness, indifference, violent emotions, promiscuity, irresponsibility and immaturity. Of course, I didn’t want to listen to anything, because, as it seemed to me, I myself knew everything better than anyone, and no one could be my decree. And I understand that such pride is characteristic of many people, especially men. They, to a greater extent than women, are subject to the illusion that they know everything about everything, that they are always right. They always strive to form an opinion in advance about every thing in the world, even if they don’t understand something. They do not want to accept other people's help and support, and if they do use it, it is without gratitude.

I, of course, do not generalize and do not want to say that all men behave this way. I just met more men with the qualities described than women. Yes, I used to be like that myself. And no assurances must have helped me until I myself wanted to change.

Therefore, I understand how difficult it is to explain anything to a proud person, for whom it is much more important to remain in the paradigm of his ideas and beliefs, to feel right, than to correct himself, to become better. His pride, like a wall, can reflect all sincere attempts to help. So how can you influence your partner? I think that the issue of subtle diplomacy requires a separate article, which I may publish. But I will still give some tips.

There is no need to aggressively impose on a person any truths with which he does not agree. Encourage him to try everything from his own experience, to see for himself. Create the appearance that your partner reached everything on his own, and not at your direction. Praise him and show him how much you appreciate his efforts to overcome his shortcomings.

But at the same time, do not scold for failures, encourage you to calmly try again and again. There is no need to tell him how bad he is; rather, tell him how you suffer because of his shortcomings and how you would like him to overcome them. Conduct a dialogue with him, take an interest in his successes, offer new methods. Let him at least try, and if something doesn’t work, he will have the right to quit it. Help and guide, but at the same time leave room for independence.

Rule 15 - Build relationships on trust

The more trust you show in your partner, the more difficult it will be for him to betray that trust. After all, it is much worse to lose what you have than to simply confirm existing fears and suspicions. If possible, avoid paranoia, constant checks, surveillance, and leading questions. As I wrote in the article about, such behavior does not serve to strengthen relationships, but only slowly destroys them.

While you certainly can’t trust someone who constantly deceives you, over-trusting is also bad! Be careful, don’t let any crooks turn your head and play with your feelings. If a person has betrayed your trust one or more times, draw conclusions and be vigilant!

Rule 16 - Always do more than is required of you

Often old lovers get tired of any manifestation of initiative, creativity and desire for novelty. They each get used to their own unspoken responsibilities, and do not want to do anything that goes beyond their scope.

But new positive trends in relationships, fresh initiative are always good! This brings people together, awakens dormant feelings, helps them feel care and warmth, rather than indifference and coldness. That's why give unexpected gifts and surprises, master a skill of family life that is alien to you. If you are a man, then start cooking, making this responsibility easier for your wife. If you are a woman, think of something pleasant and useful you can do to please and surprise your spouse. Be inventive and get creative.

Think about what your significant other wants, what can make his or her job easier and make him or her feel good. Here we are talking not only about making an unexpected surprise, but also about taking part in the life of your partner, stop focusing only on your life and your problems.

Rule 17 - Be willing to let go of a dead-end relationship

This article provides tips on how to build and improve your relationship. I believe that it is better to try several times to fix a potentially good relationship than to end it. My wife did not leave me five years ago, despite my inability then to think about anyone other than myself. Since then, I have changed decisively, realized my mistakes and corrected them, which also helped me write this article. But it took me a while to change, and I understand that well. Therefore, I encourage everyone to give their other half a chance, because who knows what might happen in the future from what we have now?

But here you need to maintain a balance. In general, this entire article is about balance. After all, relationships are the embodiment of compromise, and the art of leading relationships, just like , lies in the ability to balance between several extremes. Therefore, all the advice here is ambiguous, they do not tell you “do this, don’t do that”, they rather give us direction, relying on your wisdom to find a middle ground. Try to correct your partner, but at the same time do not press with all your weight. Give freedom, but at the same time do not allow relationships to be neglected. Give in, but in some situations say a clear “no.” Trying to understand other people's interests, but accepting that understanding is not always possible...

And I realize that despite the fact that in some situations it is better to fix the relationship, in other situations it is better to end it altogether. If your partner systematically behaves in ways that you do not like, despite your attempts to positively influence him. If he offends you, doesn’t manage anger well, lets himself go and doesn’t want to correct himself. If you have done everything to improve your relationship, but your efforts have led nowhere. If you constantly suffer because of other people's insults and unfair suspicions. Then it is better to think about ending such a relationship. Especially if you are still young and don't have children. Don't worry, you will find a much better partner. You don't deserve to be a martyr or work as someone's babysitter your whole life.

Conclusion - Relationships and Self-Development

The ability to maintain a relationship is determined by the personal skills of both partners: care, altruism, understanding of the other, the ability to give in and compromise. Relationships are not a market economy, in which everyone can thrive only by taking care of themselves exclusively.

I returned to this issue again because it is the most important. And most problems in relationships occur precisely because of selfishness and unwillingness to put oneself in the place of another!

Relationships do not serve to satisfy your pride, lust, selfishness, but for the harmonious coexistence and development of two people! As I wrote above, relationships will help you develop altruism and understanding, as well as many other skills. In my opinion, a long-term relationship between a man and a woman is a school for self-development and personality education! And the positive experience that you gain from life with your wife or husband, you can apply in absolutely any relationship, with subordinates or bosses, with friends or opponents, with children or pensioners. It will also serve as a reliable support for you in many life situations. After all, diplomacy, patience, and the ability to listen are the qualities that are simply necessary to achieve success in life and personal happiness.

I often meet people who have relationship problems or no relationships at all. For some of them, relationships are a series of suffering and quarrels.

Others are simply in constant search, and they can’t find a permanent partner: all their attempts to maintain a long-term relationship turn into failure. Still others are simply not looking for anyone, or they really doubt themselves, or they just like to be alone.

But in many cases, all these people have one thing in common: it is not only changeable fortune or a poor choice of partners that prevents them from finding family happiness. Often these people simply lack personal qualities, without which it will be difficult to maintain these relationships. These people are infantile, lack a sense of responsibility, overly demanding and harsh, or, on the contrary, extremely soft-bodied, cannot cope with their changeable emotions, do not know how to listen and understand the needs of other people, are selfish, self-contained and shy, prone to fears and anxieties. This list can be continued for a long time, but one thing is important: if a person wants a long-term relationship, then he must have some qualities.

(I'm not going to say that all single people are like this. Not at all. Some of them really like solitude and independence. They feel self-sufficient and are able to lead a harmonious life without any permanent relationships. I have nothing against it, it's everyone's personal choice I also want to clarify that if you realize that you have strong problems in your relationship, this does not necessarily mean that the problem is rooted in your personality.It happens that the reason for this is related to your partner or external factors.

But, nevertheless, what I wrote about above happens, and often.)

This does not mean that he should have these qualities from the beginning. Every person can change for the better and love and family connection can help him in this.
I view human relationships as fertile ground for the personal development of two people united by one bond. By strengthening this relationship, you will not only make the connection with your husband or wife more reliable, but you yourself will become better and happier.

From this article you will learn:

Family is a haven of love, hope, warmth, mutual understanding, mutual support and boundless happiness... Many people have imagined such pictures more than once, thinking about the happiness that awaits them next to their loved ones, but, unfortunately, more often than not, the situation unfolds completely in in a different light: mutual reproaches, omissions, lies, swearing, hatred... Sometimes it seems that dreams of a bright future were just a dream. But I really want to believe that the very recent happiness and love can be returned so easily and simply. Unfortunately, it just won't work out that way. In order to improve family relationships, you need to try very, very hard, and this should be done not by just one person: the spouse, but by both. Only in this case is there a chance that happiness will return to your home.

Family relationships: we understand problems, analyze, draw conclusions

Family relationships: we understand problems, analyze, draw conclusions

Every person, without exception, wants to be loved and happy, dreams of creating his own personal island of happiness, where it is always warm, sunny and comfortable, but... Not everyone can achieve this. The concept of “happy family life” is a phrase that everyone perceives in their own way. This is a kind of ghostly image of some philosophical concept, which can very often be heard in everyday life; it does not have an exact definition, but everyone strives to achieve this image.

What do you need to do to become happy? How to improve family relationships?

In family relationships there are two main participants: husband and wife, therefore, in order for the relationship to be good (let’s not even talk about the possibility of creating ideal relationships), warm and bring happiness to all family members, a man must know how improve relationship with wife, and the woman, accordingly, how to improve your relationship with your husband.

But, before we proceed to the advice in more detail, it should be said that it is possible to improve relationships only in those cases if:

1. The husband and wife are aware of the fact that they will not be able to re-educate each other, because they are already formed individuals with their own perception of the world around them.
2. A husband and wife are capable of sincerely and truly appreciating each other's talents and abilities.
3. Spouses want to give each other maximum of their time and attention.
4. Spouses are ready to avoid criticizing minor shortcomings that exist in each other.
5. Husband and wife are always polite to each other.
6. Both partners have a desire to understand the other, and both want to improve their family relationships.

If all of the above is present, you can begin introspection.

In order to understand how to improve relations with his wife, a man, first of all (for himself), must answer the following questions:

1. Do I continue to carefully and tenderly care for my wife and look after her, as I did before marriage? How often do I give her flowers or arrange unexpected surprises? Do I remember memorable dates: her birthday, our wedding anniversary...?
2. How often do I criticize my wife in front of strangers?
3. Do I try to help her when needed? Do I support her in stressful situations?
4. Can I cheer her up when she's irritated or tired?
5. Do I compare my wife with other women: my mother, my ex-lover, if this comparison turns out to be not in my wife’s favor?
6. Do I allow my wife to receive compliments and unobtrusive advances from other men without making scenes of jealousy?
7. How often do I show interest in my spouse's intellectual and spiritual life, including what she has been up to lately? Do I know her circle of acquaintances?
8. How often do I praise my wife, give her compliments, for example, about her cooking skills or the perfect order in the house?
9. Do I thank my wife for what she does for me and our family: cleaning, washing, cooking, raising children?
10. Do I notice the little things that she did especially for me: she sewed on a button, ironed a shirt, cooked my favorite dish, arranged a romantic evening?

The spouse, conducting self-analysis, must answer the following questions:

1. What do I do to make my husband feel comfortable with me?
2. How often do I spend time with my loved one when he is nearby? Am I capable of unexpected, unplanned manifestations of tenderness and passion?
3. Can I surprise and delight my husband with my appearance or my culinary abilities?
4. How often do I do what he likes: spend time with him watching his favorite action movie or sports program, cook his favorite dishes?
5. Do I know anything about my spouse’s interests, his friends?
6. Am I making an effort to improve my relationships with my in-laws?
7. How often do I invite my husband to spend time together, walking in the park, visiting exhibitions, cinemas?
8. Do I know what my husband wants from family life?
9. How do I look in the eyes of my husband's friends? Does he feel inconvenience, embarrassment, appearing with me in the company of his friends?
10. Can I do anything to interest my husband, to surprise him, to brighten up the routine of family life?

Such self-analysis will help both the husband and wife to find gaps in their relationship, push them to take active action, to the desire to make changes in family relationships.

Advice for those who want to improve relationships in their family

Advice for those who want to improve relationships in their family

An analysis of the numerous problems that many married couples face also allows us to highlight several basic tips that will help them improve their relationship.

Rule 1 Don't be afraid to take responsibility.

Since childhood, we have been told that it is necessary to be able to admit our mistakes, learn from them, in order to prevent them in the future. In the case when spouses begin to blame each other for unpleasant situations, shifting the blame for their actions onto the other, this can lead to the rupture of the entire relationship.

Rule 2. No conflict should go unnoticed.

Many couples, after a conflict, prefer to simply make peace and forget about what happened. It is not right. Yes, undoubtedly, a stormy reconciliation after a long quarrel is what many couples strive for, but the conflict still took place, so there is no confidence that some time after the reconciliation it will not flare up with renewed vigor. After reconciliation, it is very important, while restraining possible negative emotions, to calmly discuss the cause of the conflict in order to be able to avoid it in the future.

Rule 3. Less resentment, more forgiveness and understanding.

Resentment is a great way to influence your partner: “since you acted this way, then I won’t talk to you, or I’ll even go for a walk...”. The main danger of resentment lies in the same thing as the danger of stormy reconciliation: the reasons for the resentment are not fully understood, there was no “cold” and “reasonable” discussion of the current situation. The fact that spouses do not communicate for some time, or even do not see each other, does not mean that the conflict has been resolved, the relationship has been restored and can continue without problems.

Rule 4. We learn to admit our guilt.

There is nothing better for your partner than understanding that you sincerely realized your mistake, admitted your guilt, did not try to argue or make excuses, and with your actions you are trying to eliminate the consequences of an unpleasant situation.

In addition, admitting guilt is not a gift of your generosity, not a noble act, not a favor, so you should not expect that your repentance will cause a storm of emotions in your partner. It may be met rather coldly, however, in the future it will certainly be regarded as a positive moment in your relationship.

Rule 5. Criticism is not humiliation, it is a reason for self-improvement.

The culmination of the conflict, as a rule, is that the spouses express a lot of accusations, claims, and grievances to each other, but no one hears anyone. At this moment, one participant in the conflict attacks, the second defends, but none of them is able to analyze and understand what is happening.

At this point, the best solution is to pull yourself together and calm down. You need to mentally put yourself in your partner’s shoes and analyze what he said. It is very important to identify why exactly this grievance was expressed, why you were criticized for this and not for another reason. By being aware of what your partner wants from you, you can soberly accept criticism by analyzing your own shortcomings.

Rule 6. Emphasis on the positive aspects.

Yes, we perceive our partner’s shortcomings more sharply than our advantages, and if we try to fight the shortcomings, then we very quickly stop noticing the advantages. Try to pay maximum attention to your partner’s merits, do not forget to compliment him and say nice things. This, no doubt, will not go unnoticed.

Rule 7. Sincerity and openness are the key to a happy family life.

Insincerity, closedness, lies, avoidance of difficult topics to discuss - all this can lead to complete collapse in a relationship. Yes, it is not possible to find out all the secrets of your partner, and there is no need. There is a certain balance that needs to be maintained here.

Rule 8. The development of relationships is possible if the partners are capable of self-development.

Never and in no way will a relationship develop on its own. The development of relationships requires constant attention and participation of both partners in this process.

Relationships between spouses require much more strength and attention than loneliness, because when building relationships they learn to give in to each other, take care of each other, and find a compromise.

Rule 9. Sexual relationships cannot be the only thing that holds a marriage together.

Yes, sex is undoubtedly an important part of marriage, and there is nothing wrong with spouses trying to diversify their sex life and bring something new into it, but sex cannot be defined as the basis of marriage.

No matter how passionate, stormy and unbridled sex may be, it is not capable of bonding two people together in the same way as mutual sympathy, the ability to sympathize, support, care and love.

Rule 10. We develop the ability to say the word: “No.”

There is no need to indulge all the unimaginable and sometimes absurd demands of your partner. There is no need, for example, to account for every step you take, or for every sign of attention that was shown to you. By submitting to such total control, you demonstrate your inadequacy and support your partner’s shortcomings such as paranoia, fear, and lack of self-confidence.

Nowadays, a strong marriage is a huge rarity. People have forgotten how to appreciate the most important thing in life. Statistics show that in recent years the number of marriages is significantly lower than the number of divorces.

Among the most popular reasons for divorce are:

- treason;

— addiction: gaming, computer, alcohol, drugs;

- reluctance or inability to have children;

— physical violence in the family;

- loss of sexual desire for a partner;

- early age of marriage (rash decision);

- lack of mutual understanding;

- financial difficulties.

It is possible to improve family relationships only if both partners desire it. Otherwise, the only way out in this situation will be a complete severance of relations.

Yes, people do not always have much in common, everyone has their own “territory”, their own understanding of the world, their own desires and aspirations, but marriage is the middle ground, the existence of which is possible only if people are able to find a compromise, respect and understand another person.

Instructions

Take a closer look at yourself. Maybe you criticize your significant other, your friends, too often. Constructive criticism is useful, but when it is manifested with or without a reason, it has a negative effect on the person to whom it is directed. Moreover, you may not even notice that your statements or actions contain offensive meaning. For example, you laughed or made fun of something that was important to the person. So he harbors a grudge against you. And if such situations are repeated often, then eventually accumulated grievances can lead to a deterioration in relationships. To prevent this, try to criticize and scold less. At first it will be difficult, but with some persistence you will notice positive dynamics in your health within a few months.

Learn to forgive and make concessions. Very often people do not want to seek compromises, because they believe that in this case they will look weak-willed and unsure of themselves. But family relationship– this is not an area of ​​life where you need to show your integrity. Sometimes you need to forgive your spouse or children for some of their mistakes or mistakes. Agree that it is stupid to harbor a grudge because your husband did not take out the trash and did not wash the dishes, although he promised. Sometimes you need to be able to forgive even more serious things. Perhaps your husband once greatly offended you; over time, it seems that everything has been forgotten, but the resentment subconsciously remains all the same. Therefore, you need to be able to forgive consciously.

In order not to harbor resentment, you need to discuss all controversial situations with your partner or. In the heat of frustration or anger, a person can say and do things that he would not even think about in another situation. If this is unpleasant for you, then express it to the person. Just don’t yell at him, complaints should be justified and spoken in a calm tone, because then your husband or child will quickly understand that they hurt you. Don't be afraid to talk about your relationship X. If you hide pain and resentment within yourself, then sooner or later it will come out, but in the form of a relationship, and this does not at all contribute to improving relationships.

If you are too touchy, then you should become thicker-skinned. It is not very pleasant to communicate with someone who can be offended by anything, since any word spoken or action performed can be misinterpreted. Your family will try to stay away from you so as not to cause you another offense. And you will again be upset that you are given little attention. Therefore, it is very important to be able to control your emotions and not react overly emotionally to any word.

Try to always be in a good mood. It’s pleasant and easy to communicate with a positive person; you simply don’t want to argue with him or find out any relationship. Even if there are some problems in your life, then there is no need to give vent to gloomy thoughts that you are not suitable for each other or that your relationship on the verge of breaking, etc. It’s better to try to think positively, that all difficulties are temporary, and that soon you will have family everything will be great.

Life together. Many experts consider the first 3-5 years of any marriage difficult, but the current overloaded life makes its own adjustments, and already accustomed spouses cannot agree on a basic problem. No one teaches modern girls how to improve family relationships, as they did in the old days, so they have to figure it out through their own trial and error.

A happy and stable marriage is the result of a common dynamic development. Constant concessions and hushing up the problem only aggravate the conflict, adding a touch of theatrical drama to it. In order to strengthen and in some places even heal their life together, spouses need to figure out how to improve relationships in the family without infringing on the rights of one of its members.

The main thing is reconciliation

First of all, every family member, even the smallest one, must understand the rule of a happy life - it may be impossible to avoid conflict, but the result of any debate or dispute should be complete and unconditional reconciliation.

Understatements, grievances and pride will sooner or later again raise the current situation on the agenda, then the scale of even the most trifling dispute will become equal to a global cataclysm. How to improve family relationships after such a hurricane can only be figured out with the help of specialists.

"Cold Approach"

World psychologists work in the field of reconciliation of married couples, and every year the shelves of libraries are filled with fresh publications with the loud title: “How to establish harmonious relationships in the family.” The main advice of leading experts remains the “cold approach” rule. Every quarrel has a root, so during the conflict it is necessary to try to determine the essence of the problem. Small trifling scandals are only a visual signal of people’s fatigue and oversaturation of communication.

A conflict of this rank can be eliminated through frank conversation, active recreation and a change in boring surroundings. The richer and friendlier the atmosphere in the house, the more productive communication with each family member will be. It is worth discussing many issues with small household members so that the child feels involved and, to a certain extent, responsible for the process of creating general well-being. Children need to be taught the skill of smoothing out rough edges, so that in the future they do not have to think about how to improve family relationships. Then it will be much easier for them to live.

Decent answer

Many parents do not know what happens in a family after a quarrel, how to find a common link in communication with teenagers. In the latter situation, it is worth resorting to the “broken old record” method. How? If the child receives a decent, even response from his parents, rebellion and hormonal surges will simply disappear. Shouting and insults when dealing with rowdy teenagers always plays on the side of those same children.

Therefore, the right way out will be composure and complete determination in the decisions made. It is worth taking the child’s side only in cases where he can clearly present all the arguments.

My husband cheated

Even more often, family boats, sailing on the calm sea of ​​a prosperous life, come across an iceberg called “treason.” Relationships outside the family sooner or later lead to complete or partial What to do in a situation where the husband has returned to the family? How to improve relationships after cheating? Advice from friends to erase this event from the family chronology only works during a friendly conversation.

In real life, it is quite difficult for women to accept betrayal as a signal of general distress. Most of the fairer sex perceives this as a personal insult and betrayal. Therefore, the reconciliation process drags on for a long time.

Why does this happen?

At its root, betrayal, both male and female, is a manifestation of hopelessness, devastation and extreme fatigue. Men's nature is subject to a constant search for something beautiful and attractive. And women, in the whirlwind of everyday problems, forget to please their partner, self-care is reduced to basic hygiene, and flirting completely evaporates from communication.

How to improve family relationships with a husband who cheated? To make the right decision, it is necessary to find out for what reasons the spouse decided to do this. If the problem is aesthetic exhaustion, a woman should reconsider her wardrobe and discuss with her husband which looks he likes best. Often it is the visual poverty of the wife that pushes the husband to look for more spectacular and relaxed ladies.

Any woman must understand the elementary rule of living together with men - there is no need to practice fencing with grievances and insults, any problem can be solved together. If a girl accepts the fact of betrayal and decides to continue, then she must be aware that her husband’s infidelity should not become an ace in the hole, which appears every time more powerful arguments in a quarrel with him cannot find recognition.

Insipidity in intimate life

How to improve family relationships after betrayal, if the cause of infidelity was sexual insipidity? Experts from many countries do not advise in this case to immediately rush to conquer the heights of BDSM or swinging. The best solution may be a frank and, most importantly, constructive dialogue, during which it becomes clear what each of the partners is missing. In order for the problem to be solved, everyone must be as frank as possible with their partner, because fantasies and wishes can only come true when they are voiced.

If your spouse cheated...

An equally difficult problem remains the question of how to improve family relationships with a wife who has cheated. First of all, a man must understand that female infidelity is rarely a cure for boredom; most likely, its root is the fading of feelings. To improve your relationship with your spouse, you need to make up for everything lost during the years of marriage. After reconciliation, the wife and husband should find a common activity that will be interesting to both, and will not cause rivalry or disagreement.

Conclusion

Cheating is a common occurrence in families in which nothing binds people except their last name. Therefore, treat each other with respect. Always show your husband (or wife) that you really love, even if many years of marriage have passed.