The first date with the man you like gives rise to romantic moods in the female soul, the expectation of new meetings and attention from him. Why does it often happen that the date went well, the man was cheerful and attentive, showed sympathy, and then suddenly disappeared: no call, no SMS, no messages on social networks. It is natural for a woman's heart to hope to the last and justify such behavior (something happened, he is busy, etc.). In fact, the reasons may lie both in mistakes on the part of the girl and in the man himself: character traits, lifestyle, value system.

Why doesn't he call

1. I didn’t like it: saying goodbye, he promised to call back only out of politeness, so as not to offend, and this was perceived as sympathy. It should be understood that absolutely everyone cannot be liked, because even world movie and show business stars have both fans and people who do not see anything attractive in them. However, it is worth analyzing why this happened: for example, if the acquaintance took place on the Internet and the guy was disappointed by the meeting in real life, it may be worth reconsidering your relationship with Photoshop.
2. I liked it too much, he was afraid of his feelings, he promised himself not to fall in love. Sometimes men show miracles of logic even more interesting than they attribute to women.
3. Turned out to be too accessible (or gave reason to think so) - the man achieved his goal and lost interest. It is for this reason that, counting on a serious romance, it is undesirable to agree to sex on a first date, no matter how strong the sudden outburst of passion may be. It is naive to believe that, having slept with a man at the first meeting, you will be able to fall in love with him, and not become another trophy for one night, as is usually the case. Often, girls justify their behavior by the uniqueness of the situation: “This is the first time in my life, an extraordinary man, I just lost my head!”. But for a man - probably not for the first time, and such a development of the situation for him is the norm, and a pleasant pastime in his understanding does not oblige you to anything.
4. Too self-confident, stuffs his own price. Many guys are waiting for the girl to show herself - this warms their pride. However, this option for the development of relations is dangerous because, having taken the first step, the girl will continue to seek the man, and he will only take her attention and deliberately create test situations in order to find out how far she is ready to go for him. And he will continue to manipulate, feeding his pride.
5. He is hiding something, but he is ashamed to admit: he has a wife/girlfriend. Initially, he could count on an easy, non-binding romance, but when he met, he discovered that the girl was serious, good, would not agree to the role of a mistress, and kept silent about the presence of the second half when meeting her. Accordingly, the decision not to call his new acquaintance could come from a reluctance to spoil the impression of himself and look like a deceiver.
6. It seemed to him that he did not like him or that the girl deceived him (concealed the presence of a young man). In the first case, such thoughts may arise if the girl does not show any emotions (perhaps due to natural character traits perceived as a lack of interest) in relation to the man. Suspicions about the second half may also affect the decision not to call her again (at the same time, she may not have that same second half, and such an impression could have been formed after studying her profile on the social network and finding joint photos with fellow guys).
7. Everything in his life is on schedule. And romance as well. For many girls, it becomes a revelation that a man’s personal life is not the main and only area, but is located along with work, hobbies, communicating with friends and other things. Business men who are busy building a career are accustomed to clearly planning their lives, allocating for relationships, including calls, the nearest “window” in their busy schedule.
8. He is afraid of changes in his usual, measured life. And if the girl is too active, takes the initiative in relation to further meetings and joint plans, the man sees in her a potential threat that can disrupt his usual way of life. And he is not ready to step over this and get out of his usual comfort zone.
9. A man does not know what he wants, and dating and dating girls for him is just a way of having fun. This is a well-known category of womanizers who do not burden themselves with serious relationships and obligations, or simply an irresponsible, frivolous person.
10. He is not ready for a new relationship, he realized that he was in a hurry to make a new acquaintance and now does not know how to say it. Perhaps there is an unforgotten former love, and meeting a new girl prompted him to renew the relationship, or to decide to be alone for some time. To report this directly, “on the forehead” to the girl after a date, a man may be embarrassed, so he prefers to simply not call and not remind himself, but simply disappear.

How to recognize a lie

Often a man, in order not to look like a scoundrel, comes up with excuses, explaining his prolonged radio silence with various “circumstances”:

• lost phone;
• "flew" the phone book;
• there was no money in the account, was in a place where there is no way to replenish;
• was very busy at work;
• urgent business trip;
• was outside the city where there is no connection, sent a message, forwarded it several times, but it did not go.

In fact, he is afraid to frankly admit that he did not like the girl, or he initially deceived her, hiding the presence of the second half.

When a man is interested in continuing to communicate and develop relationships, he will do everything possible (and impossible too) so as not to miss the girl he likes.

Of course, there are force majeure situations, but in most cases, if a man does not call, he does not want to do this. You can justify him with anything: the harsh conditions of life at the North Pole, where the evil boss suddenly threw him on a business trip as the most persistent, thoughts that he is shy and does not know what to talk about (although a logical question arises: how then did it come to a date, if is he so timid and afraid of women?), or his parrot gets sick, and he spends all his free time with a pet ... A man should be responsible for making promises.

Especially indicative are situations when a guy is online in social networks, but does not show his attention in any way. If the girl nevertheless decides to write first, the next excuses are used: “It was not me who was online, my brother turned on my computer”, etc. Such behavior speaks more than eloquently about the true reasons for his silence.

What to do when he doesn't call

1. Calm down, do not rush to conclusions, and most importantly - with actions. It is sometimes hard to restrain oneself on emotions, not to call or write first. Friends advise unanimously: “Act! This is better than regretting a missed chance, ”but you shouldn’t rush. Perhaps the man is just waiting for this in order to "feed" his ego with another trophy.
2. Calmly think over the situation, analyze what could have provoked such behavior on the part of the man: do not look for excuses for him, but really analyze the past meeting and try to understand what happened and why he disappeared so suddenly.
3. Decide whether or not to call him first. If yes, then do not ask directly: “What happened?” or “Where have you gone?”, but to try to find some excuse for a call that is not related to a date. For example, if a man is fond of fishing, aircraft modeling, computers, you can call and ask for advice, supposedly choosing a gift for your brother / dad. The reaction of a man to a call (whether he will be delighted, or just dryly answer questions), his tone during a conversation will help to dot the “and” and understand why he did not call. But, deciding to take the initiative, you should be prepared for the fact that a man may not answer at all and not call back later: neither on the same day, nor in a week.
4. Do something interesting to take your mind off the agonizing wait: try a new pie recipe, meet friends, go to a disco, learn to roller skate… Even if a man doesn’t call, time will be spent with benefit.

What not to do:

• look for flaws in yourself and engage in self-flagellation. Many girls in such situations begin to look for the reason in themselves (I'm not beautiful enough / I have crooked legs / a big nose), although a man could not notice all these shortcomings (often imaginary). The reason can be stupidly banal: such vague behavior is often characteristic of Taurus men (they make decisions for a long time, wait for some special sign from a girl indicating her sympathy, and can think for weeks: call / not call?), while active and a purposeful Leo is unlikely to hesitate and wait for the first step from a woman, and if he does not call, then probably for selfish reasons, or simply not impressed, and he should not look for excuses;
• spend time spying on social networks, studying all the girlfriends, who likes him, etc.;
• rush to call him. For men, in principle, a slower development of feelings and romantic attachments is characteristic, so they may not call as quickly as a woman expects. Of course, weeks and months and reflections are too much, but if a man does not appear 2-4 days after the first date, you should not sound the alarm, this is normal;
• trying to hint to a man about his condition with statuses on his page - this does not work, it just looks stupid from the outside;
• write angry messages, defiantly remove him from friends (after all, he, in fact, owes nothing, and this will not bring the desired result, it will only completely spoil the impression). It is better to merge your negativity and resentment so that the “culprit” never finds out about it;
• check with calls from other numbers whether he will pick up the phone (men have a very well developed logic, and it will not be difficult to guess what the sudden calls from unknown numbers are connected with).

The calmer the girl in such situations, the more active and inventive the man will then be in order to achieve her attention and location.

This is a kind of game, and having passed through this stage with dignity, you can count on a serious attitude and interest from the young man.

Well, if such a long-awaited phone call did not sound, it remains to be seen whether this is a loss, or, on the contrary, great luck, and fate is preparing a new meeting with a truly worthy man.

We all know if a person is crazy about you, he will call right away. But if he didn't lose his head at first sight, that's no reason to stick out his claws and arch his back at the very beginning of the game called "romance," says Harvard graduate, best-selling author on relationships and professional matchmaker Rachel Greenwald.

Loss of control begins when a woman is waiting for a call from a man after a great first date, and he does not immediately contact her. She comes into a manic excitement, gaining power in a tornado. By the time the guy texts, she'll be mad as hell. Maybe he will start playing with him: for example, he will not immediately answer the call, leave him a message on his home phone, knowing that the gentleman is now at work, will try to make him jealous. Men say it's not very attractive.

Energetic bachelors (like free girls) tend to have abnormally busy schedules and hectic lives: they toss and turn between work, friends, family obligations, training, volunteering, hobbies. And, let's be realistic, they probably have a few more candidates in mind. Yes, you know from your own experience how difficult it is to do everything and see everyone. So what if he doesn't call right away? Of course, he hasn't fallen head over heels in love with you yet. But men said that relationships that develop slowly at first can then pick up speed. It will take time (and patience) to wait for the moment when you become the most important thing in his life. Men who don't call you back right away take the same risks as workaholic women who can lose a guy due to constant time pressure. By the time he calls, you may already be dating someone, but if you are still single, there is no need to be cold, because the chance for a happy development has not yet been missed.

Sweet shop

A good guy is like a kid in a candy store: he is surrounded by temptations. You yourself can be among them. It's like the reality show "The Bachelor" (or "Free Girl") on TV. Put yourself in the place of a man who finds himself in the company of twelve women, and they seem to be interested in him: so you don’t need to be offended if he hesitates to make a choice.

Aaron, a 44-year-old cardiologist from Tulsa, Oklahoma, admitted that he had “options in abundance.” Despite all his vanity, during a telephone conversation he seemed like a pleasant person, not one who likes to brag. A mutual friend introduced me to him for an interview. According to her, he is "such a wonderful guy, and everyone wants someone to marry him." Aaron remembered a fantastic first date with Jessica, whom he met the year before. At the end of the meeting, he promised to call soon. The next week was crazy for him: six surgeries and two night shifts. He also admitted that he had two blind dates that week, scheduled before dinner with Jessica. Aaron thought about her and hoped to meet again. He described his feelings as "very positive ... not that he had a crush on his ears, but he wanted to spend more time with her." A week passed, and he finally had a free moment to call her. The man was unpleasantly surprised by her reaction: Jessica “talked coldly on the phone ... she was definitely angry ... Probably because I did not call her right away. She didn't say what I did wrong. But I got a negative signal." They didn't have a second date.

A good guy is like a kid in a candy store: he is surrounded by temptations. You yourself can be among them.

I spoke to another First Date King, Leonard, a thirty-five-year-old counselor from New York, New York. A friend introduced me to him, saying: "Half of Manhattan is after him." During our conversation, Leonard described two great first dates, independent of each other, that didn't develop into a relationship because he procrastinated. He called one a week or two later, and the girl asked sarcastically: “What kind of Leonard?”. He tried to explain to another woman how busy he was, but she cut him off: “But I don’t care.” I suggested that Leonard call back quickly if he likes the girl. The man laughed good-naturedly and said, “Do you think so?” In fact, he waits so long before starting to court, even if he really likes a woman, because he can afford it. He has so many opportunities that if one woman shows coldness towards him, the weather will not do it. Okay, I know it's annoying, his whole situation doesn't look very pleasant, but I believe that at some point a switch will flip in Leonard's mind. Suddenly he decides it's time to settle down. Most of these popular guys end up getting married. If he's such a great guy (as I was told by a mutual friend who's known him for twenty years), would it really hurt you if you answered his phone cordially and saved the chance for a second date? I'm willing to bet that the woman Leonard calls after a long silence and doesn't show her hurt will end up getting him forever.

If the guy is popular, he may not call for a long time, because he can afford it. He has so many opportunities that if one woman shows coldness towards him, the weather will not do it.

Do not divide into black and white

Brandon, a thirty-six-year-old investment manager from Weston, Massachusetts, recalled a good first blind date with Lisa: “The conversation was interesting ... the girl was sweet ... At the end of the evening I kissed her on the lips. And I was already thinking about inviting her again, I was not sure if there was a spark ... And she also smoked, but she said she was going to quit ... Everyone says, try again if you are not sure, so I thought about it. The moment Brandon finally made up his mind, the girl responded to his email in a not-so-pleasant way. Since Brandon had not written to her for two weeks, she decided that he was simply not interested. She has a new boyfriend, but she wishes him "all the best!". Later, the man heard from a mutual friend who introduced them that Lisa had no one, she was just offended by him. And this friend said: “I am on the side of Lisa ... You acted very ugly with her.” Brandon sighed, “I guess I'm a goat. But after one date, I had no confidence, is it really such a sin? I had some really bad breakups. It's hard to get started right away."

Do you think Brandon is an asshole? I would call him dumb. Maybe if I'm in a good mood, I'll call it cautious. But a goat? Hard to say.

Sam, a twenty-nine-year-old real estate developer from Denver, Colorado, told me about a woman he had two wonderful dates with. Beth was wonderful, and Sam was drawn to her more and more. He suggested, "Let's try to meet on Sunday night?" But the young man worked all weekend and was exhausted by Sunday evening. Since they didn't have a clear plan, Sam decided to go to bed early and call the girl in the morning. At nine in the evening he received her SMS: “Why didn’t you call me? I thought we had plans. I'm very disappointed". He didn't quite catch the tone, but figured that if Beth had been so offended, she wouldn't have texted, but called. Sam also admitted that when he received the SMS, he thought: “She is overreacting ... Maybe she is too serious.” The young man decided not to answer immediately. Sam explained his logic to me like this: if she is very angry, it is better to postpone the call until tomorrow and, having slept, tell everything. When the man arrived at work on Monday morning, an email from Beth was waiting for him: “I am extremely surprised by your behavior. I didn't think you were. If you don't want to see me again, have the courage to tell me."

Sam called Beth to apologize. He said that his reasoning to wait until morning was wrong, and he definitely acted rudely. He reminded Beth that they had no clear plans, but realized that he had to call and, citing fatigue, reschedule the date. The girl calmed down, but Sam did not invite her again. I asked: "Would you behave differently if you really liked her?" Sam replied, “I liked her so much! But we weren’t a couple, we only had two dates!”

Uncertainty

When you really like a new guy, it's natural to be insecure. You hope that the sympathy is mutual, looking for signs that confirm this. The problem, of course, is that signals are misleading, and it's also easy to overdo it and mistake something that isn't a sign of affection. Loss of control implies not just nervousness and an aggressive or indifferent reaction to an incomprehensible sign, but also an ever-increasing uncertainty in behavior. Marcus, a 28-year-old charity manager from Sheboygan, Michigan, said he and his friends often discuss how to turn off the line on JDate.com that shows when a person has visited the site. Match.com and other sites also have similar notifications: “Now online” or “Was there today”. He talked about Carly, a girl he met on JDate.com. Their first date was very successful, but Carly was upset when she saw that Marcus entered the site an hour after walking her home. The young man said, “What should I do? I don't know if a good first date will turn into something serious. I corresponded with two or three other girls. It's an online dating game, isn't it? This is a lottery. I want to find a great girl and start a family over the next years, I will save time if I communicate with several girls at the same time.

When Carly asked why Marcus came to this site so quickly, he asked how she knew. The girl admitted that she liked this evening so much that she could not restrain her curiosity and checked his status, hoping that Marcus was not looking for other women. Marcus laughed it off and told her, "Thanks for being honest." They met again, but the matter did not reach the third date. The young man summed up: "I like more confident girls."

On the first date, the girl is like in the market, if she cannot “sell” herself profitably, then expect trouble: the man will never call her again. So that you also do not make mistakes, we have prepared today's article for you. In it, we will answer such questions: how long can you wait for a guy to call, what prevents him from doing it, what you can be to blame for, why he ignores you and what is the best thing to do if the phone is silent.

If the guy really liked the girl, then you won’t have to wait long for a call: a maximum of a week, but everything is individual. Usually young people get in touch on the same evening or on the second day after a date to invite them to a new meeting. Do not be nervous if this does not happen immediately, there can be many reasons for this.

What can stop you from calling a girl

Here are some options:

• Busy work and study schedule- maybe the young man will be released only closer to the weekend.
• Other girls- perhaps he chooses with whom to continue relations on a more serious level.
• Unexpected situations. These may include problems at work and at home, an urgent business trip, etc. In the event of force majeure, the man will later explain his long absence.
• Banal shyness. Shyness is more common in young men.
• He really liked the girl. Perhaps he was looking for someone for one evening, but realized that you are not suitable for this and does not want to offend you.
• The lady immediately did not like the man. He didn't have the courage to admit it to your face, or he doesn't want to upset you. It may well be that your appearance or manner of presenting yourself did not suit him.

Some of these reasons explain why guys can disappear from your life, not write or call anymore. Perhaps our article on that will help clarify the situation. We told you what could have happened.

It may well be that he does not call because you asked the wrong questions. Here . And here's more. They will help to get to know the young man better.

So that the next boyfriend does not disappear, take note of the women's. You will learn how to behave, what NLP techniques to use and how to protect yourself so that you are not seen through.

Mistakes women make on a first date that can make a man disappear

You could assume the following:

1. Talker Behavior. Many girls on the first date behave with men like with girlfriends: they discuss gossip, the smallest details of their lives and previous relationships. A man is not ready to hear a shaft of information about you at the first meeting.
2. Demonstration of alienation. Excessively worried, a woman can behave extremely constrained, silent. A man will interpret your behavior in a negative way - that he did not like him. After a date, a young man, of course, may no longer call.
3. The obvious desire to please. Wanting to show how delighted you are with a representative of the opposite sex, you can inadvertently frighten him off with obvious assertiveness, loud laughter at any joke, funny and not very funny. The man will decide that he is the last chance for you and will not contact you.
4. Careless appearance. When going on a date, women want to make the best impression. Focusing on a single detail, for example, a naughty curl, you can miss the overall look: a combination of accessories, the appropriateness of the outfit in the place where the man invited you, stains or wrinkled folds of clothing. All this spoils the impression of you.

Avoid these 4 moments and you will be happy! By the way, the site has a separate article that talks about what. You decide on what should be the appearance, demeanor, dressing, and more. others

Do you want to know all the secrets of seducing men? We advise you to look free video course Alexey Chernozem "12 laws of seduction for women". You will receive a 12-step step-by-step plan on how to drive any man crazy and keep his affection for years to come.

The video course is free. To watch, go to this page, leave your e-mail and you will receive an email with a link to the video.

What to do if the phone is silent

There are a lot of reasons why men can disappear, so a woman can call herself and unobtrusively find out about the affairs of a man. How to do it?

• You don’t need to ask in the summer: “Why didn’t you call for a week?”. Ask what the man is doing, and the reason for his absence will become clear to you.
• Talk friendly. Sad or irritated notes in your voice will immediately betray your resentment. It is likely that he will not want to see you again.
• Offer to meet. There is nothing shameful in saying about your sympathy and inviting him to spend time together again. Refuses, so be it, but you will not be tormented by thoughts about where he disappeared.

Useful literature on the topic

Books written by psychologists will help to better understand the situation:

1. "Why He Didn't Call Back" by Rachel Greenwald. The book deals in detail with the erroneous actions of the fair sex on the first date. The behavior of women is divided into types, which makes it possible to find exactly their wrong actions.
2. "He Just Doesn't Like You" by Greg Behrendt and Liz Tucillo. The book tells the whole truth about the true meaning of the actions and words of men.
3. Promise is not marriage by Greg Behrendt and Liz Tuchillo. This is the work of the authors, which has become a bestseller among thematic literature. The book is written in simple language about working on oneself, it gives advice to lovers on how to behave, including on a first date.

Pretty wise advice from a psychologist in this video:

You should not cling to one man if he does not want to communicate with you, so why is he needed? So it's just not your destiny!

Finally, the exciting anticipation and large-scale preparations are over: the first date has taken place! How many fears and worries are left behind, but the most interesting is just beginning. It is on how the first date went, what impression was left of each other, the further fate of the relationship depends. There are already certain conclusions, but the last chord of the meeting (farewell), and especially further behavior after the date, are the indicators that influence the final decision whether to continue this story or put an end to it. For the most part, it depends on the behavior of the girl, because sometimes, being on the wave of romantic sensations, it is the representatives of the beautiful half of humanity who tend to spoil everything with their excessive activity, and often obsession, flooding with SMS and calls.

What is the difference between male and female psychology of perception of relationships after the first date?

Women's psychology is such that attachment, falling in love and other types of romantic experiences develop quite rapidly - much faster than it happens in men. Very often, after returning home after the first date, a girl tells her friends: “I fell in love!”, - and is ready to rush into a relationship, like into a pool, with her head. While the guy with whom she spent this evening, at this stage, identifies his condition as sympathy.

Women live with emotions, therefore, if the guy liked and the evening went well, after the first kiss, the girl believes that they are a couple, although in reality this is still far from the case. Some time should pass for people to get used to each other a little, to get to know their partner better.

The peculiarity of male psychology is that the rational principle in it prevails over the emotional one.

Therefore, the guy sums up the results of the first date not only according to the feelings and instincts that the girl awakened in him, but also tries to correlate the pros and cons of their meeting, think over, analyze his impressions. And while all this is happening in his head, a woman's heart could already rush to mentally choose a wedding dress.

It is in this regard that restraint and moderation in emotions are the main principle that a girl should be guided by after the first date.

How to behave if you liked the guy and want to continue?

1. It is worthwhile and beautifully to bring to the moment that it is time to say goodbye, without dragging the moment to an awkward silence, when everyone understands that the topics and time have been exhausted, but no one dares to say that it is already time to go home.
2. You can let the guy take him home, kiss goodbye, but the answer to the first kiss should be restrained, light. You can completely confine yourself to a kiss on the cheek - i.e. behave in such a way as to interest him, but not allow too much.
3. You should definitely thank the guy for a good evening and pleasant communication, note what you especially liked or remembered. We must not forget about non-verbal messages, behave kindly: a smile works wonders, it can help not only reinforce what has been said, but also make a man fall in love, awaken feelings in him at this very moment of the upcoming parting.
4. Counting on a serious relationship, you should understand that sex on the first date is a taboo. It is naive to believe that the readiness for “horizontal” communication will help to fall in love with a man and keep him. It will help, but not for long - literally until the morning of the next day. But you should not expect that “after everything that happened”, he should call or send a bouquet by courier. Hasty availability frees a man from any obligations, therefore, when deciding how to behave, you need to be guided, first of all, by your expectations from the relationship in general.
5. Don't call first. If you still really want to, then you can write a text message to the guy or a message on the social network, once again thanking him for a pleasant pastime (but one thing, and without excessive emotions: emoticons with hearts or kisses), or, saying goodbye, show a little trick and say: “Call me when you get home so that I don’t worry.”
6. Stock up on patience and endurance: no calls and SMS in the spirit: “When will we see you again?”, “I miss you already”, “Why don’t you call me?” etc., no flashy statuses in social networks. A man must “ripe” for further actions, “digest” the previous meeting and get bored himself - it is impossible to fall in love with him by forcing events. The behavior of a man after the first date is an indicator of the seriousness of his intentions and the general impression of the date itself. It may be that, when saying goodbye, he promised to call, but he did it only out of politeness.

Girls often ask themselves: how long can it take for a guy to show up? He may not call or write SMS for several days - this is normal. The range of reasons can be very different: blockage of urgent matters, lack of interest and sympathy, heightened egocentrism and a desire to check the girl, whether she will call first, or just character traits:

• the impulsive Aries and the sociable twin, most likely, will not delay the call, it is not difficult to fall in love with them and push them to take decisive action;
• the calf needs a lot of time to sum up the results of the first date and prepare mentally for the next one;
• with all seriousness and thoroughness, cancer will approach the issue, a virgin man may also not appear for several days, with his usual pedantry, analyzing the past meeting for pros and cons;
• a narcissistic lion can expect the first step from a girl;
• Libra and Aquarius are very amorous, so they won’t delay with a new date (if there is sympathy) - they will behave actively: they will write and call;
• the decisive first step will be taken by Scorpio, Sagittarius and Capricorn;
• if the Pisces man does not write SMS and does not call, then with a high degree of probability it can be said that he did not like the girl enough to continue the relationship with her. It is difficult for representatives of this sign to voice this, therefore they prefer to silently withdraw themselves.

However, regardless of the zodiac affiliation, excessive perseverance on the part of the girl will be perceived by the man as an encroachment on his freedom. This is psychology, and there is no escape from it. While the girl writes angry SMS in a thirst for attention and a new meeting, a stamp in the passport is already flashing in the man’s imagination, TV shows instead of football and a formidable woman in curlers meeting at the door with a rolling pin when returning from work five minutes later than usual.

Even if emotions go off scale, everything falls out of hand and thoughts are only about one thing: “How much is possible? When will he call?!" - you can not give out your state of mind.

If a man is interested in developing relationships, he will not miss the opportunity and call or write himself, if not, no amount of perseverance will help him to keep or fall in love with himself.

If you really want to call or write, you can do it, but without emotions and under some neutral pretext.

How to refuse a guy if you don't like him?

It can sometimes be more difficult to refuse than to wait for such a desired call. It is difficult to communicate a lack of sympathy for a person without hurting his feelings and self-esteem.
Sometimes girls do not dare to say this right away, not knowing how to correctly present to a young man that relations between them are impossible, and accept an invitation to a new meeting in the hope that there will be an opportunity to tell him everything. In fact, not the most reasonable strategy - it is better to refuse immediately, not allowing the person to become even more attached or fall in love:

• avoid excessive tenderness at parting: kisses, hugs;
• flirting should be excluded - false hopes are useless;
• correctly and honestly immediately offer to remain friends - even if you don’t want to offend him, you will have to say it sooner or later anyway;
• you can refuse, referring to the oddities inherent in female nature (“You are very good, and I am grateful to you for this evening; it’s extremely interesting with you, but my heart is looking for something that I myself can’t explain. Perhaps I haven’t figured it out on my own").

If possible, you should avoid platitudes from the series: “It's about me, not about you”, “You deserve more/better”, “I'm not ready for a new relationship yet”. But the worst thing you can do in this situation is to keep the guy out of delicacy. Honesty and goodwill is what will help resolve the problem with minimal losses for both parties. The refusal should be brief, as positive as possible, but decisive. It is worth making it clear that this is a final decision, and not a delay, but do it tactfully, gently. In this case, there is a chance to maintain friendly relations without any offense.

Sometimes girls decide not to refuse personally, but to write (for example, on a social network). Still, it’s better to dot the “and” in a personal meeting (immediately, at the end of the first date, without scheduling a new conversation for this), but if the right moment is missed, then you can use this method, but it’s unlikely that you will be able to remain friends .

I terribly like to ask men about all sorts of “why is He…” - they immediately make an important kind of gender experts. But the answers do not always suit me: as a rule, they offer rather offensive options. The most dull and unpleasant versions that you can imagine are confirmed by all sorts of “does not call - it means not interested” and “would like to - offered”. But it cuts. Therefore, I asked why there were punctures with dates - it seemed that the girl dressed up, behaved normally, did not admit to coprophagia, did not bring her mother to meet. And he didn't call again.

During the first meeting, they say, two things are tested: appearance and mental coincidence. And appearance is more important, alas. They do not go to get acquainted with the intention to see in the girl a future wife and mother of five children. No, these bastards want sexual and emotional experiences.

Accordingly, the first and main reason why there will be no second meeting is that you did not sexually attract him. “But what about just communication?” I asked. What about talking? Alas, there is no time for friendship. More precisely, they, of course, have girlfriends, but these are girls with whom they have known for a long time, connected by common interests, spiritual closeness and mutual respect. And suddenly getting into a deep relationship with a stranger, if sex is not supposed, is somehow pointless and costly.

And it is impossible for a woman to guess why there was no spark - men have some specific phobias. He may be put off by smell, being overweight or thin, having or not having big boobs, a mole, or the sound of a voice. Something from which another will fall into ecstasy for many years will make this one run away in half an hour.

But even if the woman is not physically repelled, there may be an intellectual mismatch. Not all dating is worth continuing, they say. Sometimes, after communication, zero impressions remain - for yourself you are bright and with abysses inside, and a man is quite capable of not noticing them and recognizing you as “a girl from a neighboring yard.”

It happens that a man understands that he will not pull. Not in the sense that you are too beautiful for him. It never stopped them. But you may have a family and a garden in your plans, but he didn’t look that far, for a start he only had sex on Saturdays. Or you are an energetic and violent woman, but God did not give him temperament. Or your bag is worth more than his car, and you are clearly used to receiving such as a gift.

You talked all the time about yourself, your exes, and relationships in general. Of course, these are endlessly interesting and important topics, but sometimes these types want to discuss art, business, politics, or, God forbid, spiritual practices. They become afraid that all conversations with a girl will remain in the format of glossy magazines.

“Oh, everything,” you said something unbearable. Sometimes it can be fundamentally inappropriate views on an issue that is important to him. Sometimes something blatantly stupid (well, that is, it is clear that the fool himself simply did not understand, but for him it sounded painfully stupid, plunging into Finnish shame). Or you were not in a good way complex, and this is not about long words and too smart thoughts. No, you suddenly fell into esotericism or spread out your deep inner world in front of him so widely and suddenly that he chickened out. Weakling!

He thought you were here just to have fun. There are quite a few girls who date out of sheer curiosity (or for dinner, but you're not like that), and men get nervous about it. They are used to performing in the “can I see everyone?” genre, but for some reason women are expected to be more involved.

You said in a tragic tone that you were not ready to become attached, but he, the fool, believed. This is an important point that needs to be considered. On the one hand, they are intimidated by declarations of Serious Relationships. And on the other hand, everyone has a glimmer of hope that they will love him here. It is not interesting to get involved with married people, one beautiful young man told me, there is no future with them. That is, to sleep, maybe, yes, but the lack of a romantic perspective discourages. I was not told how to keep a balance for a girl, without being intimidated by extensive plans, but without depriving me of hope for a hypothetical great love.

Perhaps you accidentally got drunk - it happens with lovely ladies that from a couple of cocktails a crazy empress, vulgar and stubborn, instills in them, and some men can’t stand it. Or you have shown some uninteresting madness. You know, they like to quote the song “I'm looking for people like me, crazy and funny”, and show them a little real trash, they immediately merge.