Today in the material we will talk about adolescence in girls and boys. How to be parents and how to behave correctly with children in this period. What to do and what not to do.

Growing up – natural process, which, however, is accompanied by considerable problems. All changes taking place in teenage years, are so strong that they affect all areas of life. Nothing will be the same anymore. And this frightens parents very much. However, children do not always accept what is happening with enthusiasm.

Not only is it changing physical body child, but also his worldview. The child forms his idea of ​​the environment, focusing on the adult. Parents are almost gods for him, they protect, provide food and shelter, and encourage him. Over time, the child accumulates his own life experience, which often goes against what he sees in the family, the authority of his peers comes first.

General mental and physiological immaturity, perestroika hormonal system, inadequate self-esteem - all this makes almost any teenager an explosive subject of communication. Adults sometimes feel like their child is losing his mind. And children cannot convey their problems to adults.

Transitional age in girls

In girls, puberty begins quite early. The first changes can be noticed towards the end primary school. By about 10-11 years of age it is observed sharp jump growth and muscle strength. Hormonal changes in girls they pass more softly and last longer. The first complexes regarding appearance may appear. Parents, and everyone around them, need to be as sensitive as possible.

At 12-14 years old, a healthy teenage girl begins menstruation. This is very important period formation and awareness of one's feminine essence. The mother or any other adult whom the child trusts should talk in advance about the peculiarities of growing up and how the body will now function.

In addition, it is important to properly carry out prevention teenage pregnancy. Without intimidation, but honestly talk about all the consequences of unprotected sex. After all, older girls are the most vulnerable in this matter.

Transitional age in boys

Boys grow up somewhat later than girls. If you look, for example, at the sixth grade of school, the difference, both physical and emotional, is striking. Puberty in boys begins on average at 13 years of age and is characterized by more active hormonal surges, and more rapid growth bone and muscle mass.

Active release of androgynes into the blood, makes teenage boys more aggressive, they are less likely to compromise, and more likely to commit rash actions. The task of adults is to explain to a teenager the consequences of his actions as correctly as possible. During this period it is very important to try to find mutual language and common interests.

What parents can expect from their teenage children

Puberty is shrouded in many myths. Adults, of course, remember themselves at this age, but modern teenagers seem completely different. If you look closely, with the change of generations, essentially nothing has changed. Growing children have the same problems; they want separation from their parents, but there is no way.

How acute the teenage years of children in each particular family will be depends on many factors.

First of all on how trusting and open relationship were in more early period. But there is general trends, inherent in all adolescents, to one degree or another:

• Seemingly inexplicable mood swings. They are associated with the peculiarities of the growing brain and the restructuring of the hormonal system.
• Health problems associated with growing too quickly. The nervous and circulatory systems cannot keep up with the rapidly stretching limbs.
• Distance from parents and “leaving” home. This is an absolutely normal stage of growing up; parents should be understanding of the teenager’s increasing independence.

Expectations of teenage children from parents

No matter how difficult the transition from childhood to adolescence may be for parents, it is much more difficult for children. Often they don't understand what's happening. Why did the body suddenly begin to hurt and stop listening? Why do you want to cry and scream for no reason. And how to continue to live now.

Lack of life experience makes teenagers very vulnerable and, in fact, they are still children, even if they have outgrown their mother. They also need parental care and support in difficult situations. They just need to know that there is a reliable home front where they are loved and will be accepted by anyone.

Teenagers are actually ready to make compromises and build new relationships with their parents. They expect their parents to be sympathetic to their wishes, problems and fears.

How to minimize conflicts and errors

Adolescence is the most difficult period in family life. The child often looks quite grown up in appearance. But at the same time, little life experience and the inability to be responsible for their actions makes children of this age very vulnerable.

Teenagers strive for independence, begin to “leave” home, putting the authority of their peers first. The nature of this isolation depends on the character of the child and on previous experience relationships with parents.

This situation worries adults and makes them want to fix everything, “return it to the way it was.” These attempts either end in failure and the final separation of the child. Or the impulse to natural separation is stopped and an infantile personality, unadapted to life, grows out of the teenager.

Another negative option for the further development of parent-child relationships is that the child withdraws into himself, hides and waits for the moment of growing up. This is followed by a break in the relationship for a long time, perhaps forever.

It is important for parents, based own situation, find a compromise between connivance and absolute prohibition. We must learn to re-build acceptable boundaries of behavior and let go where possible.

To do this, we need to take into account the main tasks in raising teenagers:

1. Define for yourself the ultimate goal of education. Parents don't often ask themselves this problem. Or they look at it too narrowly and at once. They want the teenager to be obedient right now, and in five years to become independent, courageous and decisive. But this doesn’t happen, if you break a person for a very long time, sooner or later he will break. A good, correct, obedient child will not grow into a successful, psychologically mature adult. Remember about main goal – .
2. Create conditions for a teenager to grow up. Children want to explore the world, and this is a completely normal desire for them. Adults want to ensure maximum safety. How older child, the wider the circle of his interests and the further he is from home and family. The main problem of a teenager is his lack of life experience, which sometimes entails too cruel consequences. Parents should think through strategies in advance for different situations. dangerous situations. Simply prohibiting is not a solution; the teenager will still do what he wants, but in secret. It is necessary to spell out in as much detail as possible all the consequences of certain decisions; often this is the only thing that stops the child from dubious actions. IN as a last resort, it is permissible to ban, but there should be as few such bans as possible, ideally no more than five.
3. Unconditional acceptance of the child. A parent's love should not depend on any external factors. Neither grades at school, nor successes/failures in a favorite activity should deeply influence child-parent relationship. It is sometimes very difficult to love a teenager, such an awkward, boorish, sloppy one, but he needs it even more than a baby. Parental unconditional love gives strength to overcome, to learn new things, to move forward.
4. Trust teenager's area of ​​responsibility. Learn to delegate part of the care for your family and yourself to your older child. There are quite a lot of things that teenagers can handle just as well as adults - cooking a simple dinner, picking up a package from the post office, choosing and buying curtains for their bedroom. This delegation benefits everyone and children learn real life and parents get a little respite.

Adolescence ends sooner or later in the lives of boys and girls. Coming new stage life - youth, and then maturity. How competently parents behave during puberty determines how harmonious and strong personalities their children will grow up to be.

IN childhood The incidence of depression in boys and girls is the same. Differences are revealed only in puberty. According to experts, the most “ dangerous age» for girls – 13-15 years old. But we recommend not to be tied to a strict time frame, since already in the pre-pubertal period, from about 8-9 to 11-12 years of age, the risk of depressive disorders increases. During this period, you should be more attentive to your daughter’s behavior.

Causes and consequences of depression in teenage girls

Practicing psychotherapists agree that hormonal changes, which occurs in a girl’s body during puberty, can itself serve as a trigger for the development of a depressive episode. The changes taking place involve the entire neuroendocrine system of the body with its complex connections. Due to unstable hormonal levels, not only somatic disorders occur, but also mental changes.

Both direct and Feedback depression with hormonal changes. Thus, the risk of developing premenstrual dysphoria in girls appears immediately from the first menstrual bleeding. On the other hand, depression itself can cause hormonal imbalances. It has long been a known fact that during global disasters, many women lose the ability to conceive due to the cessation of menstruation.

The same can be said about “personal” disasters. For example, girls who have experienced a depressive episode have the following types of disorders:

• becoming normal monthly cycle occurs later than among peers - at 15-17 years old instead of 12-14;
• initially irregular periods (dysmenorrhea);
• disappearance of menstruation (amenorrhea).

In addition, depression during puberty is a high probability of recurrence of episodes in adult woman. If a girl has a delay in development menstrual cycle, irregular periods or their absence, not related to physiological pathologies and somatic diseases, we recommend paying attention to emotional condition teenager.

Signs of depression in teenage girls

According to research, the incidence of depression in teenage girls is 5-20%. This scatter is due to the fact that depressive states at this age are masked by behavioral disorders and are very often mistaken for “usual manifestations of character for adolescents.” The sheer variety of such manifestations, the lack of “habit” among doctors general practice assessing the very possibility of a neuropsychiatric disorder makes diagnosis even more difficult.

The following signs are typical for teenage depression:

• asthenic manifestations – increased fatigue, decrease motor activity, headaches, weakness, sleep disturbances;
• anorexia or bulimia;
• decreased performance at school, decreased attention, ability to concentrate, expressing ideas about lack of abilities, fear of going to school;
• passivity, egocentrism, capriciousness, apathy;
• a sharp reaction to any comments from parents;
• depressed mood, gloominess, dissatisfaction with one’s appearance, lack of faith in one’s abilities;
• isolation, anxiety, fears.

Any traumatic factor can serve as an impetus for the development of depression in girls. For example, unhappiness with friends, physical illness, moving to another school, moving, quarrels in the family, and even the inability to express thoughts in words.

Our recommendations: if you see that your daughter has become uncontrollable, her social circle has changed, her character has changed dramatically, do not rush to attribute all these symptoms to adolescence. Contact a competent specialist. Given the reluctance of a teenager to discuss his problems with adults, you should not rely only on your own strengths and try to cope with the situation on your own.

In a recent study conducted medical center Queen Elizabeth in Western Australia at 400 younger teenagers Between the ages of 10 and 14 years, 10% were considered clinically depressed, and more than half of the children were assessed by doctors as being prone to depression in the future. Depressed teenagers believed that happiness was achieved only through fame, money and beauty. Happy teenagers tend to believe that life satisfaction depends on successful personal relationships and setting worthwhile goals. What is teenage depression? Why does it occur and how to deal with it?

What is teenage depression?

Teenage depression is not easy Bad mood- This serious problem, which affects all aspects of a teenager's life. Teenage depression can lead to problems at home and school, drug addiction, self-loathing, even violence or suicide. But there are many ways parents, teachers and friends can help cope with depression.

There are many misconceptions about teenage depression. IN adolescence Many children are quite aggressive, difficult to communicate with, they are rebellious and want to be independent. Teenagers often have mood swings and are sad. But depression is something else. Depression can destroy the very essence of a teenager's personality, causing overwhelming feelings of sadness, despair or anger.

The incidence of teenage depression is increasing around the world, and we are increasingly aware of this when we look at our children or their friends. Depression hits a teenager's psyche far more often than most people realize. And while teen depression is very treatable, experts say only one in five cases of depression get help for teens.

Unlike adults, who have the ability to seek help on their own, adolescents usually have to rely on parents, teachers, and caregivers to acknowledge the fact of depression and get help. necessary treatment. So if you have teenage children, it's important to learn what teen depression looks like and what to do if you notice symptoms.

ICD-10 code

F33 Recurrent depressive disorder

F32 Depressive episode

Symptoms of teenage depression

Teenagers face many instances of pressure from adults, ranging from grades in school to control from mom and dad. And at this time, a hormonal storm takes place in their body, which makes the teenager’s psyche even more vulnerable and fragile than before. During adolescence, children begin to fiercely defend their independence. For them, it can be a drama that an adult would only smile sadly at it. Because adults are used to seeing teenagers often in an agitated state, it is not always easy for them to distinguish between depression and the whims and mood swings inherent in teenagers. If you notice these symptoms in your teen, they are likely depressed.

Signs of depression in teenagers

• Sadness or hopelessness for a long time
• Irritability, anger, or hostility
• Tearfulness
• Abandonment of friends and family
• Loss of interest in any activity
• Loss of appetite and bad dream
• Anxiety and excitement
• Feelings of worthlessness and guilt
• Lack of enthusiasm and motivation
• Fatigue or lack of energy
• Difficulty concentrating
• Thoughts about death or suicide 

If you are not sure that your teenager is depressed, consult a psychologist with him.

Negative effects of teenage depression

The negative consequences of teenage depression go far beyond melancholic moods. Many cases of unhealthy behavior or aggressive attitudes in teenagers are actually signs of depression. Below are some ways that teenagers can show adults that they are depressed. They act this way not out of harm, but in an attempt to cope with emotional pain.

Problems at school. Depression can lead to loss of energy and difficulty concentrating. At school, this can lead to poor attendance, arguments in classes, or frustration with schoolwork, even for children who previously did very well.

Run away from home. Many depressed teens run away from home or talk about running away. Such attempts are a cry for help.

Drugs and alcohol abuse. Teens may use alcohol or drugs in an attempt to “self-medicate” depression. Unfortunately, these methods lead to irreparable consequences.

Low self-esteem. Depression can provoke and intensify feelings of helplessness, shame, and give a feeling of the meaninglessness of life.

Internet addiction. Teenagers may go online to escape their problems. But overuse computers only increases their isolation and makes them more depressed.

Desperate, reckless behavior. Depressed teens may engage in dangerous activities (eg, robbing a passerby on the street) or take desperate risks, such as dangerous driving, unprotected sex.

Violence. Some depressed teenagers (usually boys who are victims of aggression) become aggressive. Self-hatred and the desire to die can develop into violence and rage towards others.

Teenage depression is associated with a number of other mental health problems, including eating disorders.

Symptoms of Suicidality in Depressed Teens

1. Talks or jokes about suicide.
2. Says things like: “I would rather die,” “I wish I could disappear forever,” or “I have no choice.”
3. He talks about death admiringly, something like “If I died, everyone would regret it and love me more”).
4. Writes stories and poems about death or suicide.
5. Participates in dangerous, traumatic sports.
6. Saying goodbye to friends and family as if forever.
7. Looks for weapons, pills, or discusses ways to kill himself.

The problem of depression must be addressed, and the sooner the better. It is very important that your teenager shares his problems with you. The teenager may not want to tell them. He may be ashamed, he may be afraid of being misunderstood. Additionally, depressed teens find it very difficult to express how they feel.

If you think your child is depressed, you should trust your instincts. In addition, the situation is complicated by the fact that adolescents may not consider their behavior to be the result of depression.

Tips for talking to a depressed teenager

Teenager and suicide

If you suspect that a teenager may be suicidal, take immediate action! Take your child to a psychologist, psychotherapist, show him more attention and worries.

Teens who are seriously depressed often talk about suicide or make “attention-seeking” suicide attempts. Some teenagers don’t really want to commit suicide and go no further than suicidal thoughts, but parents and teachers should always take such “beacons” very seriously.

For the vast majority of suicidal teens, depression or another mental disorder is increased factor risk. U depressed teenagers Those who abuse alcohol or drugs are at even higher risk of suicide. Because of real danger suicide in teens who are depressed, parents and teachers should watch closely for any signs of suicidal thoughts or behavior.

Methods for diagnosing teenage depression

Depression is very destructive to a teenager's fragile psyche if left untreated, so don't wait and hope that the symptoms will go away on their own. Seek professional help.

Be prepared to tell the doctor about your child's depression symptoms, including how long they last, how they affect your child's daily activities, and any symptoms that concern you. You should also tell your doctor about relatives who suffered from depression or any other mental disorder.

If there are no health problems that are causing your teen's depression, ask your doctor to refer you to a psychologist or psychiatrist who specializes in child and adolescent psychology. Depression in teens can be a challenging condition, especially when it comes to treatment. No one can perform a miracle on your child. You will need to work with the symptoms of depression for an extended period of time. If your child feels uncomfortable visiting a psychologist or psychiatrist, ask for a referral to another specialist who may be a better fit for your child.

Difference between teenage and adult depression

Depression in adolescents can be significantly different from depression in adults. The following symptoms Depression is more common in adolescents than in adults:

Irritability, anger or mood swings - as noted above, it is irritability, and not the sadness inherent in adults, that often predominates in depressed adolescents. A depressed teen may be grumpy, hostile, easily upset, or prone to angry outbursts.

Unexplained pain - Depressed teens often complain of physical ailments, such as headaches or stomach pain. If thorough medical checkup does not reveal medical reasons these pains, this may indicate depression.

Extreme sensitivity to criticism - depressed teenagers suffer from feeling own inferiority, making them extremely vulnerable to criticism, rejection and failure. This becomes a particularly serious problem at school when a child's performance declines sharply.

Withdrawing into oneself, withdrawing from people (but not everyone). Although adults tend to withdraw when they are depressed, teenagers tend to be supportive. friendly relations, but limit this circle to a select few. However, teens with depression may socialize much less than before, stop interacting with their parents much, or start going out with other people.

Don't rely on medications alone

There are several treatment options for depression in adolescents, including individual therapy or group classes. There is also a method of family therapy. Medicines - in last resort, and this is only part complex treatment, not a panacea.

Any type of psychological therapy is often good for mild treatment and moderate stage of depression. Antidepressants should be used as part of a more comprehensive treatment plan, in more severe cases.

Unfortunately, some parents believe that antidepressants are the only way cure the child. This is far from true; any treatment is individual and may vary depending on the results.

Risks of Teen Antidepressant Use In severe cases of depression, medications can help relieve symptoms. However, antidepressants are not always the best option treatment. They can give side effects in the form of addiction, sleep disturbances, increased fatigue and drowsiness. It is important to weigh all the risks before starting to prescribe antidepressants.

Antidepressants and the teenage brain

Antidepressants were developed and tested in adults, so their effects on young, developing brains are not yet fully understood. Some researchers are concerned that the use of drugs such as Prozac in children and adolescents may interfere with normal development their brain. Adolescent brains are developing rapidly and exposure to antidepressants can affect development, especially how a teen manages stress and regulates their emotions.

Antidepressants increase the risk of suicidal thoughts and behavior in some adolescents. The risk of suicide, according to specialist research, is highest during the first two months of treatment with antidepressants.

Teenagers who take antidepressants should be closely supervised by doctors and parents. Any signs that adolescent depressive symptoms are worsening should be a signal to reconsider treatment.

Warning symptoms include increased arousal, irritability or uncontrollable anger in a teenager, and sudden changes behavior.

According to psychotherapists involved in teenage depression, after starting to take antidepressants or changing their dose, a teenager should consult a doctor:

• Once a week for four weeks
• Every 2 weeks for next month
• At the end of the 12th week of taking medications

Adolescent support as a treatment for depression

The most important thing you can do for your child is to let him know that you will always have his back. Now more than ever, your teen needs to know that you value, love, and care about them.

Be patient. Living with a depressed teenager in the same house is not an easy task. From time to time you may experience fatigue, despair, a desire to quit, or any other negative emotion. During this difficult time, it is important to remember that your child will definitely recover, you are already working on it. Your teen is suffering too, so it's best to be patient and understanding.

Encourage physical activity. Encourage your teen when they play sports or do yoga. Exercise can help relieve symptoms of depression, so find ways to keep your teen physically active. Something as simple as walking the dog or riding a bike can be helpful.

Encourage social activity. Isolation only makes your teen depressed, so encourage him when he wants to spend time with friends or you.

Participate in treatment. Make sure your teen follows all instructions and the doctor's instructions and does everything on time and completely. This is especially important when your child takes prescription medications. Monitor changes in your child's condition and contact your doctor if you think your child's symptoms are getting worse.

Learn more about depression. If you don't know much about the course of this condition, you need to read more about depression and then you too will become an expert. The more you know, the better you can help your depressed teen. Encourage your teen to learn more about depression too. Reading non-fiction books can help teens feel like they are not alone and give them a better understanding of what they are going through.

Path to recovery state of mind Teen can be long, so be patient. Enjoy small victories and don't worry about failures. Most importantly, don't judge yourself or compare your family to others. You are doing everything possible to rid your teenager of depression, and he is trying with you.

From a medical point of view, depression is associated with an imbalance in the brain of neurotransmitters responsible for transmitting impulses between nerve cells. According to scientists, in adolescents such changes can occur as a result of illness or stress caused by difficulties adolescence. Depression is more common in girls than in boys because they are more emotional and prone to breakdowns.

Teenage girls place high demands on themselves. They give great importance to his appearance, striving to be ideal in order to attract male attention. Hormonal changes in the body that cause increased greasiness in hair and acne, as well as other factors, create a whole complex about imaginary shortcomings. Girls consider an increase in muscle mass and adipose tissue as weight, which is why they exhaust themselves with diets, completely refuse food, induce vomiting, etc. Ultimately, this leads to .

Subjectively assessing your appearance in comparison with other girls can also cause considerable stress. In the opinion of the girl, the more beautiful friends and classmates, as a rule, have longer and slimmer legs, healthier and more voluminous hair, ideal figure And correct features faces. To dissatisfaction own appearance comparisons with others are made that are not in her favor, and gradually the teenage girl comes to the conclusion that with her data she will not be able to compete with other girls in the fight for the attention of the opposite sex, which has a destructive effect on the fragile psyche.

Relationships with peers, teachers and other people around them play an equally important role in the occurrence of depression in girls of adolescence. Lack of confidence in oneself and one's abilities, conviction of one's own inferiority, in other words, low self-esteem can create problems in communication, especially with boys, because it is at this age that friendship gives way to falling in love. If the first love turns out to be unrequited or the relationship is unsuccessful, this will increase depressive moods.

Inattention or disdainful attitude of parents to the problems of their teenage daughter, family troubles (divorce, financial difficulties, conflicts between family members, etc.) can lead to the girl withdrawing into herself and withdrawing into her own life. inner world and no longer allows anyone there. If her parents do not provide her with adequate support at this stage, the situation can cause severe depression.

Girls with high level intellectual, talented, gifted and academically successful, who read a lot and have a broad outlook are often humiliated and ridiculed in class and find themselves outcasts. Peers have a negative attitude towards smart girls, because they unconsciously regard their successes as betrayal and opposition to the team, although in fact they feel banal envy towards them. As a rule, intellectually developed girls are less adapted to conflicts and cannot defend themselves, so as a result they become depressed.

In any case, girls suffering from depression, regardless of the reasons that caused it, require the attention of parents, friends, as well as the help of a specialist (psychologist, psychotherapist, social teacher). This disease can be successfully treated both with and without medication. It is important to identify depression in time and prevent its worsening, since neglected condition can lead to serious consequences, including alcoholism, drug addiction and suicide.

Very often, teenagers stay up late at their computers, go to bed in the middle of the night, but still have to get up early in the morning to go to school. Some parents are alarmed that the teenager does not have time to properly rest during the night, while some consider this phenomenon to be in the order of things and are not very worried about it. But in vain, since lack of sleep in adolescence is fraught with the most different problems both physically and psychologically.

Sleep norm for a teenager

Researchers have found that approximately 9 hours of full sleep can be considered the norm for teenagers. Eight hours of sleep is already considered a critical norm, and it is better not to allow a teenager to sleep less than this amount of time. If a teenager does not devote enough time to sleep, this can provoke many different disorders in his development - these are physical, emotional, and psychological deviations.

Sleep deprivation and social problems in adolescents

Lack of sleep among adolescents is associated with social problems. First of all, lack of sleep affects a teenager’s academic performance; he also has problems communicating with others. It is worth noting that lack of sleep makes a teenager irritable and negatively disposed towards the people around him throughout the day, both adults and peers. He feels the absence normal communication at home and at school, which, in turn, provokes the development psychological problems.

Psychological problems

The researchers concluded that lack of sleep causes psychological problems in adolescents such as depression, thoughts of suicide, and the desire to harm themselves. Scientists note that similar problems occur in teenagers who went to bed after midnight. Moreover, the less time a teenager has to sleep, the higher the likelihood of developing various psychological diseases.

In addition to psychological problems, teenagers also experience physical ones. Lack of sleep is very often associated with the development of obesity, and most often overweight teenage girls suffer. Lack of sleep in adolescents is also very often associated with the development of a disease such as vegetative-vascular dystonia. You need to know that the signs of this disease are fatigue, weakness, headache, tendency to fainting states, feeling of lack of air, poor adaptation to heat or stuffy rooms, increased sweating and other disorders.

As you can see, there are many problems associated with lack of sleep among teenagers, so parents should bring to the attention of the teenager what Negative consequences arise as a result of sitting at the computer or in front of the TV screen until midnight. Lack of sleep negatively affects not only its quality that night, but can also affect natural biorhythms and provoke the development of insomnia.