Real feelings are not always beautiful. The sincerity of the heart cannot be forced to manifest itself in the form of a single visual sequence of Hollywood movies that is pleasing to the eye. Living a little artificial life, we often refuse to watch the shadows inside ourselves, we do not want to see the imperfection of our own person, and as a result, we do not want to recognize the right of a loved one to live and demonstrate it true feelings and emotions.

We have surrounded ourselves with comfortable decorations, we have plunged into an illusory picture reality, we hide unhealed injuries and unhealed wounds under a matte coating of high efficiency and incredible performance, we have played with the rules and business standards, it is much safer for us to be fake not only in professional life but also in our personal relationships. We demand conformity from ourselves, we demand conformity from a partner, we adjust our life to some monstrous standards. A strained way of life leads only to neurosis, and in this state it is impossible to cultivate the present and deep feeling. Sincere feelings can only appear where there is a safe space.

In each of us there is both light and shadow, there are no people in the world who do not make mistakes. "Ideal people" run away from their real selves, they pretend to be who they are not in reality. Nobody is perfect, but the trick is that you can recognize the right of a loved one to be imperfect only when you have learned to truly recognize it in yourself. If you made mistakes and fell, and then got up and tried to reassemble yourself to continue on your way, you know that it is not so easy. And when you experienced this own experience, then you won’t blame a loved one for his mistakes, seeing that he has similar processes going on, but you will try to help get through this stage as soon as possible.

Tolerance and support for each other along the way is what matters in a relationship. If fears, doubts, pain, hatred, envy, anger and other not the brightest sides of our character live in each of us, then why do we not want to recognize the right of another person to have and show the same qualities? Why do we want only the most beautiful things to appear in our relationships, but refuse to help ourselves native person in the world to live what he cannot cope on his own. Yes, to be a witness to the manifestation of anger, despair, sadness, jealousy and other "negative" qualities of the character of a loved one is not the most pleasant thing, but he suffers us the same way. Try to see the good in a person and focus your attention on it. best qualities partner, to know and accept his difficult sides, but to look at the good that is in each of us, that's what is important. Forgive, learn to forgive, allow a person to be as real as he can be in this moment time. Getting to the water by digging a well sometimes takes a lot of effort, but trust me, it's worth it.

No need to search ideal partner, become a support environment for your person, help him get to the bottom of clean water within yourself, if you have already managed to do this with your inner well. And if you yourself are still in the process, then try to be more tolerant of each other. Two people walking very close can never hide, can never hide anything. If you already take a person as a partner, as a partner, as a friend, then take him as a whole. There is no need to say: “This is what I accept in you, but don’t show me this,” take it entirely. We always have the best partner of those we deserve, and also the best parents, the best children, best colleagues for work. Accept them all exactly as they are, learn to love them exactly as they are, and one day you will be surprised how beautiful the one who is accepted along with all his shadows and weaknesses becomes.

It is very important to remember that by allowing loved ones to heal their own wounds next to us, we help to manifest all the very real that is in them. Each of us has a very great fear of being rejected if someone close sees us as real, but exactly the same fear lives in each of our close people. So be the first to say: "It's okay, it's going as it goes, but I still love you much more than the actions that you perform." It's okay if close person flared up or quarreled with us, it's okay if he doubts or is scared, this happens to each of us. Learn to forgive in relationships, be sure to learn to forgive, after all, what is a certain amount of difficulties and negative emotions compared to the happiness from the realization that next to us lives like this amazing person. Beauty is in the eye of the beholder :) I wish you happiness!

Dina Richards.

Only the degree of sincerity is important, this text was written by hand, in Bulgaria, the next day after. I print without change.

Sincerity…

I have heard this word since childhood, but I began to understand its meaning relatively recently. Now for me the sincerity of feelings, thoughts and actions is one of the main and basic rules of my life. Once everything was different, but it makes no sense to stir up the past, let's talk about the present.

Here is an example from my life - an incident that happened today (I am writing).

Today I decided to have a free dinner, and went to the restaurant of the Beads Hotel, near where I live. Some time ago, I discovered the fact that the security of the restaurant is simply stupid, and if you make a stone face and confidently walk past it, you can have a hearty meal for free. And the food is in "Beads", tasty and satisfying, by the way.

So. I go to the entrance, but this time the guard begins to observe the service, and blocks my way, and asks for a card on which I can eat. I start talking all sorts of nonsense and just lie. I tell him some tales and the more I tell them, the dirtier it becomes in my soul. I'm starting to feel gross. Feeling of play and adventure was replaced by a sense of wrongness and mental anguish, or something. And these sensations are so strong that they make me turn around and leave the guard for a nearby cafe. There I place an order for 200 rubles and eat heartily.

On the way back, I go up to the guard, apologize to him and tell him that I told him a lie because I wanted to eat on the ball. For a long time he did not understand what was happening, then he smiled and said that this could happen to anyone. We shake hands and part ways. There is a very right feeling in my heart.

I'm far from a saint. Moreover, there are moments in my life for which I am ashamed even now. And only through living some moments in the present, I understand with my soul that I can sincerely ask for forgiveness from those people with whom I acted once upon a time not in the way I should have. act according to conscience. And more importantly, now my remorse will be much more complete than what I would have asked then, "for show."

And where does the sincerity of feelings and emotions, you say?

- this is what helps me to remain myself and appear to my soul in this world. If I love, then I love, and I don’t invent for myself that I “sort of” experience this feeling. And this means that I express it as clearly as possible in external world. If I feel that in the moment it will be right to act accordingly, I take it and do it, and do not pinch this desire somewhere deep inside myself.

- this is honesty with myself and the people around me in relation to those feelings, thoughts and actions that you do. This hard way where I have already received many revelations.

When she told me that she didn’t love me, but I love her, and she did it sincerely and as honestly as possible, I just had to accept it. Because when you did everything you could, but did not get the result that you so wanted to get, this can be called fate. The fate of a person who creates his life, and does not live with illusions about his place and the place of the people around him. Everything else is irrelevant and is dust.

Men do not cry. Almost never.

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Relationships between people have many of their own characteristics, and it is not always possible to correctly interpret the behavior of another person. This is especially true of relations between a man and a woman. Very often, difficulties arise due to the fact that a woman does not understand the seriousness of men's intentions. Does he have sincere feelings for her or is he just having a good time? Let's try to understand this issue.

Man and his behavior

Not every woman understands how a man works. They think completely differently and often do not talk about their feelings. But if a man experiences real, sincere feelings, it will be reflected in his behavior. There are four most common signs by which you can determine what the object of your sympathy is truly experiencing:

• When a man truly loves a woman, he tends to spend as much time with her as possible. To stay longer with his chosen one, he will find not only time, but also a reason.
• Actively shows tenderness and care.
• Does not ignore requests, even the most insignificant.
• From his friends you can hear that in the company, in the absence of a lady of the heart, he becomes more withdrawn.

Signs of falling in love

If a man is in love and has really sincere feelings, then you should take a closer look at how and what he dresses in. There is a misconception that only women like to dress up. When a man is in love, he will change his usual, comfortable clothes to a more stylish and fashionable one to please the chosen one.

The second sign of falling in love betrays a man with a head. He cannot take his eyes off his beloved, especially when he thinks that no one sees him. A man will admire his woman, and if he notices that he was convicted of this “crime”, he will immediately look away.

The sincere feelings of a man are especially pronounced when his beloved needs help. No matter what the nature of the problem will be: emotional, financial, physical or any other, he will certainly offer his help. But if he just watches from the side, then you should think about the further continuation of the relationship.

Communication

But if he speaks evenly, too smoothly and as if he was rehearsing his speech at his leisure, then his feelings are not entirely sincere. When a guy loves, he does not pick up high-flown, literary words in a conversation, but says everything as it is. A person in love feels relaxed in a conversation and will use the same expressions as in a circle of friends. And of course, obscene language will be avoided.

Mood and appearance

Sincere feelings or not can be determined by observing the reaction of a man to the mood of his chosen one. If he is happy when his woman is doing well, then he really cares for her. deep affection. When he gets annoyed, if his lady is not in the mood, then about healthy and strong relationship out of the question. A guy in love will do everything to make his chosen one feel happy.

A man in love will always take a girl with him to all kinds of events and parties, meetings with friends. This is the simplest answer to the question: "How to understand if he has sincere feelings or not?" If a man likes to appear in the circle of friends and acquaintances, accompanied by his chosen one, this only says one thing: this girl is not just another temporary hobby.

Money, love and sex

You should also not be deceived by how much a man spends money on his lady. This is the most common female error, about which everyone needs to be warned: if a man spends a lot of money on his companion, this does not mean at all that he has sincere feelings, love and affection for her. It's just the law that if a man has money, then he just likes to spend it to show others his worth. And there is not even a hint of high and pure feelings. There has never been and never will be a connection between finance and love. If a guy gives expensive gifts, it just says that he has money and wants to spend it. Do not confuse wealth with sincerity.

An important role in the life of lovers play intimate relationship. Of course, everyone has long known that in order to satisfy their sexual hunger, guys can start short-term relationships with girls, and later leave them without regret. If a man in a relationship is only interested in sex, you should not deceive yourself - this is not love at all. After all, love is not only intimate. The one who really has sincere feelings for the girl will patiently wait until his beloved herself is ready to spend the night with him.

Is he really in love?

Men rarely talk about love, but the signs of this bright feeling are very difficult:

• He always appears on time at the appointed time, because he values ​​\u200b\u200bthe time spent together.
• He ignores calls and messages from friends and colleagues because he does not want to waste precious hours of communication with you.
• His gaze is constantly riveted to the object of his adoration.
• He may not talk about love, but it is impossible not to feel it.
• When a man talks about the future, he builds joint plans, saying "we", "us", "our". A man in love, no doubt, wants to spend the rest of his life with his chosen one.
• He remembers everything important dates. But this is rather an exception. Usually men cannot remember all the significant numbers - this is quite normal phenomenon, that's how they're designed. So do not be offended and throw a tantrum, it is better to delicately remind you of the upcoming event.

• He does simple things that he wouldn't do for anyone else. A man in love will try to please his lady in everything, he will even take care of the little things.
• A guy in love is a caring guy. Sometimes even hyper-caring. Only he will be interested in whether his chosen one had time to dine, whether she did important and pre-planned work, etc.
• Tries to spend more time together.
• He will speak frankly about himself. At the same time, the stories will not always be those where he appears in a favorable light. Men in love can even tell their lady about those situations where they behaved wrongly and regret it.

These are the men in love. And although they are not so emotionally organized as to express all their feelings in words, their actions speak for themselves.

For every girl, the most important thing is to feel loved. But sooner or later, each of them wonders how to test a guy for feelings. To find out the answer to a question of interest, many girls use all sorts of ways, some of which are best left unused in practice.

According to statistics, men are less likely to ask how to check the feelings of a girl. This is primarily due to the fact that men are more confident in themselves. In women, doubts about feelings arise in the following cases:

• The girl has low self-esteem, she constantly needs proof of love;
• The acquaintance of a guy and a girl lasts quite a long time, but on his part there are no hints of more serious relationship;
• The girl is not sure about the feelings of her young man, and wants to know whether to continue the relationship or end it;
• In case the guy behaves ambiguously, without showing affection, but also does not break off the relationship.

How to check the feelings of a young man

Do you want to know how the man you like feels towards you? Look at it from the side. Look at how he treats you, how he shows his feelings. Every little thing has great importance, for example, he is interested in whether you are warmly dressed, what you ate for breakfast, how are you at work or at university. If you are eager to learn how to test a man for the sincerity of feelings, listen to the advice of psychologists.

Show feigned indifference

To find out how a guy feels towards you, play some coldness and indifference, just don't overdo it! This can be done in the following ways: be late for a meeting, do not call a couple of times at the appointed time, or do not respond to correspondence. If a young man really feels sympathy for you, he will want to know the reason for your indifference. But do not forget, each person has his own limit of patience, do not get carried away.

Check how serious his intentions are

If the guy is set to long term relationship, he will not be afraid to introduce you to his friends and parents. Inviting you as a couple to a birthday or wedding is a clear sign of seriousness.

Take a closer look at how seriously the guy takes your personal life

When a young man pays attention to everything that happens in your life - this is good sign. He will rush in when you suddenly fall ill, come to see you off on a business trip, in a word, he will not stand aside during serious events in your life. Sudden surprises also indicate strong feelings towards you.

The guy remembers your phone number by heart and all joint memorable dates.

A person remembers only the information that is very important to him. If a young man remembers your favorite color, the date of the first meeting or the moment of the first kiss, then you are not indifferent to him.

The young man does not disregard any change in your appearance.

A wonderful sign in sincerity male feelings is the increased attention to the appearance of the girl. New item clothes, changed hair color are not ignored, and this clearly indicates heightened interest to the girl. Agree, only a man in love draws close attention on any little things related to the object of his adoration.

Manifestation of jealousy

Male psychology is arranged in such a way that each representative strong field feels like an owner in relation to a woman with whom he has a certain relationship. The manifestation of jealousy is difficult to ignore - the guy's face changes if you turn your eyes to other men.

The combination of some of these signs clearly indicate that a young man feels for you tender feelings. Be observant, and if you notice that a guy constantly wants to touch you, hug you, you often catch his eye on you - most likely, you will hear a declaration of love in the near future.

How not to test feelings

However, there are a number of actions that should not be used to test the feelings of a young person.

Extreme Checks

Don't make up stupid tasks, like if you walk on this roof, then you love me. Each person has his own degree of manifestation of love, and not every guy is ready to risk his life in order to prove something to you.

Jealousy test

Another stupid idea how to check the feelings of a man. A young man who is too jealous of his girlfriend is likely to have a sense of ownership over her, and not trusting relationship. Therefore, you should not set up a “sudden” meeting with ex-boyfriend, or write from another number love sms This is not only stupid, but also dangerous.

Temptation check

Many girls try to find out the feelings of a young man with the help of a girlfriend, and as a result, they risk being left without a boyfriend and without a girlfriend. Every man is a hunter by nature, and there is always the possibility that he will be led to other prey.

To find out how a man treats you, you do not need to weave ingenious intrigues, be sincere in your relationship, and you will receive the same attitude in return. Love is always visible from a distance, truly close people do not need to check their feelings.

When not to continue a relationship

So, you are dating a guy, or just planning to do it, but you don’t know how he treats you. If there is no time and patience to observe his behavior for a while, but you really want to know, come up and ask directly. It is up to you to decide whether to be in the unknown or hear the bitter reality. You can also find out information of interest from mutual friends and acquaintances, let someone be in the know.

The guy has no regard for you serious intentions, If:

• When meeting with you, he continues to wander around with his eyes. He feels free and pays attention to all female representatives.
• The tone of his conversation does not change with your communication, that is, he does not distinguish you from the crowd.
• A man spends little free time with you. From friends and acquaintances, you often hear about his adventures in clubs, but he does not invite you with him.
• A young man does not give you flowers and nice trinkets.
• In your presence, she devotes too much time to other pretty girls.
• The guy does not want to communicate with you by correspondence - in in social networks or by phone.
• In a difficult situation, you have to rely only on your beloved, there is not even a hint of help from a young man.

If you find more than one match on the list, don't be under any illusions young man you are absolutely indifferent, and he does not plan to start a serious relationship with you. Try to forget about it, and then there will really appear on your horizon worthy person who will love you and give you every support.

Every woman always wants to know what the young man she likes thinks about her, what feelings he feels. Sometimes it is enough to take a closer look at it, and everything immediately becomes clear. If the situation does not seem so simple, and you want to use additional methods of checking feelings, be prudent, do not overdo it. Attempts to call excessive jealousy, seduction by a girlfriend or correspondence on behalf of someone else from a dating site can only harm your relationship. Be honest and sincere with your chosen one and then in return you will receive the same feelings and emotions.

On early stage relationships, sincerity becomes a serious test. You live in constant expectation, and kisses and words are only short-lived. Openness and sincerity develop together with love. And how to convince the sincerity of feelings?

It charges a person with strength and energy. Love gives you contentment and unlimited freedom. The more you love, the more elevated you feel for yourself. "Thank you for being you." Elementary, but precisely because you simply exist in this world. This is the main factor of love - the presence of the one you love. And gratitude to him for allowing you to feel his presence.

If your love is strong, if it is something meaningful to you, then you do not set any framework and selection criteria. But if love is weak, if you are a weak-loving person and your feelings are insignificant, then you set a huge number of selection criteria: you need to be like this, like this, like this and like that. It's sad that so many people's lives go by without them meeting your soul mate with which they could exist sincerely, openly and honestly. And to convince the sincerity of another person is even more difficult. But it is simply impossible to be completely sincere with others without learning to be completely sincere with yourself. And it completely depends on the person himself.
It's not about getting rid of hobbies, vices or shortcomings; all this is unrealistic as long as a person lives among people, due to the fact that those people who call passion, vice or simply a lack of what is the main part of human nature, his being, are not right. Man is doomed to the end of days to know his imperfection. If, of course, he is not tormented by megalomania and arrogance. He tries to convince everyone of the sincerity of his feelings.
A person who understands himself knows what dark corners there are in his soul. Which, in general, does not prevent this person from succeeding, unwinding, creating beauty. The point is to find out in all details and details the advantages and disadvantages that you possess. And learn to manage them with equal success, with which one could not be afraid that they would simply knock us down or slip out of our control to the detriment of ourselves and those around us. From a certain height of your own development, you can observe your shortcomings without fear that they will gain power over you, because it is difficult to outshine a strong and developed mind. It is very easy to convince a reasonable person of the sincerity of feelings. It is possible to lose sight of them for a while, sometimes making mistakes, but in such a way that it is easy to correct them. Indeed, in such a state, we will not even think of hiding a vulgar or insignificant ulterior thought, or unwanted emotions. By learning to control yourself, you try to control them. They no longer make us blush, because, having realized them, we condemn them, separate from ourselves, confirm that they no longer belong to us, no longer participate in our life, no longer appear from our active and our own power. However, we understand that they belong to a barbaric, incomprehensible, enslaved being, representing something ridiculous for us, like everything that we designate by the predominance of the instinctive forces of nature over reason.
The spread of dislike, selfishness, shameful vanity, envy or dishonesty, considered in the light of absolute sincerity, is only a curious outlandish flower. This openness, like fire, cleanses everything it touches. It neutralizes dangerous beginnings and makes an object of curiosity out of the worst injustice, harmless as a lethal poison behind a museum window. The purifying power of recognition depends on the properties of the soul that creates it and the one that perceives it. Convince of the sincerity of the relationship open person much easier. With a certain balance, absolutely all confessions only increase the level of love and personal happiness.
We all want to achieve such happy sincerity, but we are long afraid that those people who love us will grow cold towards us if we reveal to them what we hardly dare to admit to ourselves. We think that these confessions will completely spoil the image that they have created for themselves, representing us. If they really distorted it in this way, it would only prove that they did not love us with the force with which we love ourselves. And how can other people be convinced of the sincerity of feelings and experiences? If the person who accepted your confession cannot come to the conclusion that all you need to do is fall more in love with you for this confession, then his love is undoubtedly based on a misunderstanding.
There is no need to be afraid that such widespread openness in the relationship of two people will lead to a cooling of feelings and an awareness of each other's imperfections. Most importantly, believe that this is so, the secret of love is revealed to us only in a moment of sincerity, because the TRUTH of two beings is incommensurably much more fruitful, inexhaustible and deep than their outward expressions of feelings, concealments and lies. Sincerity of feelings is very important in a relationship.
And, finally, there is no need to worry about the fact that your openness will become absolute and there will be nothing further to strive for in your relationship, that sincerity in relationships slows them down. In any case, openness and sincerity still remain relative concepts, because a person's understanding of himself changes every day throughout his life.