It’s unlikely that many people have thought about why a friend is needed. Because almost all of us have it. But still, the theme of friendship from a psychological point of view represents special interest. Therefore, this question is still worth asking.

general information

Why do you need a friend? At a minimum, in order to satisfy another person’s natural need for communication. When people come into contact with each other, interpersonal relationships arise, during which personal qualities both one and the other opponent. And it is they who develop this or that attitude towards each other in people. Qualities may vary. Both uniting, bringing together, and repulsive. Their manifestation helps to understand whether communication with this person is promising or not.

The psychology of friendship was associated by scientists with attraction. This is a concept that defines the attraction of one person to another. The attraction includes many aspects. The needs of a person, for example, which lead him to choose a certain partner for friendship. His qualities, again. Belonging to the same social circle. Understanding the needs and feelings of another - that is, the ability to feel the world of a partner’s experiences. And even the property of a psychotherapist.

An excellent quote on this topic comes from Rosalyn Diamond. It concerns empathy (conscious feeling for another person): “This is an imaginary transference of oneself into the feelings, emotions, actions and thoughts of an opponent. And the ability to structure the world according to his model.” A person capable of this is a friend in the modern sense.

Moral support

And now we can move on from psychological terms to life. Why do you need a friend? For many - to provide moral support. A friend is a person who will help you get up if you fall. The importance of emotional and verbal assistance is sometimes underestimated. But when a person is broken and depressed, sincere empathy, sympathy, as well as praise, consolation and approval can heal him.

A Right words very difficult to pick. This can only be done by someone who knows the sad person well. And that's why you need a friend. who is aware of the problems and mental characteristics his comrade. He knows very well what points need to be “pressed” in order to make you smile and make you understand that everything is not so bad. In psychology, by the way, this is called moral and ethical side friendship.

Communication

Why are people needed? At least to talk. Communication is interesting. During a conversation, people share news, interesting stories, impressions, experiences, discuss various topics.

As a rule, he is also a like-minded person to whom you can shamelessly express your point of view on this or that issue, without fear that a conflict or dispute will now brew. Because your friend will support and even complement what was said with his comment.

But friends tend to have differences. And this is good, because the point of view of another person perfectly complements the picture of the world of his interlocutor. It is with a friend that tactful and interesting conversation, productive discussion and proper dialogue. A loved one will always explain why he thinks so, and will not seek to blame his opponent and impose his point of view on him. All this is not only interesting, but also useful, since such communication enriches us as individuals.

Pastime

We all relax differently. But each of us likes to meet with friends. Some do this often, others rarely. So why is it needed? Then, to have fun together and get new experiences. The two of you can make everything more fun and interesting. And accordingly, there will be more positive impressions from your time spent.

You can go to the movies, cafes, nightclubs, amusement parks together, or just walk around the city and have a conversation at the same time. It’s better to plan a trip together to another city or even country. Such a pastime, as a rule, brings people closer together. Relationships will be refreshed, new and valuable impressions and unusual experiences will appear. Maybe, joint travel will turn into your favorite hobby.

Problems

There are different answers to the question of why friends are needed. And many say that it is for help. Moral support was mentioned above, but this is something else.

They say that a friend is not the one who is there in good times, but the one who helps in times of need. Hard time. Life is not always rosy. And sometimes things happen that you are afraid to tell even to a psychologist who strictly observes the ethics of professional secrecy.

A friend is a time-tested person who has proven his reliability through his actions and attitude towards a person. Someone who knows how to keep a secret. And he treats her as if he were his own. A person who will not change his attitude towards someone he considers his friend, no matter what happens. And he will try to do everything in his power to make his loved one feel better.

About quantity

There is one excellent phrase in the Russian language that many of us use throughout life in various areas. And it also applies to friendship. And the phrase goes like this: “The main thing is not quantity, but quality.”

Looking at people who communicate with a whole crowd of people and support them, you involuntarily ask the question - why do you need many friends? Strictly speaking, this is a matter for each person individually. If he wants, please do so. But, as practice shows, such people do not really have someone close to them. They always have someone to go out with, but there is no one to whom they can pour out their souls.

But again, you cannot limit yourself to one person. Because this can be fraught with difficulties when socializing in an unfamiliar group. Diverse is useful. It provides an opportunity to learn something new, gain previously unfamiliar skills and knowledge. In general, there is a golden mean here too.

Generally accepted characteristic

Well, concluding short story about why you need to have friends, it’s worth turning to psychology again. Its scientists have long outlined the characteristics of a true comrade.

A friend is someone whom the person who calls him such loves. Just in a different form, not intimate.

A friend never lies. He always tells the truth. There is no pathos, arrogance, boasting, or theatricality in his words. He always soberly and impartially evaluates the actions and behavior of his loved one.

Friends are interested in life dear person and worry about him. There is nothing indecent about asking questions about vacation plans or the future. As well as in the desire to inquire about the family, the situation and health of loved ones and relatives.

Friends are not shy about each other. This manifests itself in both behavior and communication. There is no place for officialdom in their conversations. They say what's on their minds. There is mutual respect in their relationship. They treat each other with kindness, tolerance, and understanding.

What can we say in conclusion? Perhaps the most important thing. A friend is an integral part of the soul of each of us.

Children grow up and communication with their parents is no longer enough for them. At some point, your son or daughter began to show an active interest in peers and older children. So, it's time to get acquainted and make friends. For kids, a friend is someone they can play with. The one who plays is a friend. For older children, it is important not only to play together, but also to have similar interests. By communicating, the child receives unique experience in society and learns to build partnerships(on equal terms).

First love

WITH best friend you can chat about everything

If a son or daughter goes through all the thorns of communicating with his childhood friend, then he has found a friend for life (most often this happens). This kind of friendship is the strongest.

The role of parents in a child’s life is of course great, but it should not be exaggerated. Overprotection only brings harm. Therefore, a son or daughter must independently go through the path of building relationships with peers. You should not interfere in a child’s friendship, of course, if this friendship does not pose a clear threat to your baby.

Parents will always support

The child should feel that in any situation you will provide him with support and help with advice (of course, if he asks for it himself). When the child is still small, it is important to tell and suggest how to start dating, what to say and how to behave.

Friendship from the sandbox

Some mothers make one common mistake - imposing friendships with the children of her friends. It seems convenient - mom is friends and so are the children. However, kids may simply not have the same personalities and interests. Therefore, give your child freedom of action and do not push. Respect your child's choice.

Did not get along

Very important point for a child is the loss of a friend. The reasons may be different: relocation, transfer to another educational institution or to another kindergarten, etc. This is where you are most needed by your gentle creature. Children experience such moments very painfully. It is necessary to tactfully explain to the child that sometimes this happens in life, not because someone is bad, but someone is too good. This is how the circumstances develop. Comfort your child and try to distract him from sad thoughts.

In difficult times, mom is always there

It also happens that a friendship falls apart due to the fault of your child; you should not scold him. Try to talk, find out why he did this and teach him how to ask for forgiveness in order to regain friendship.

Parental advice is very important for a child

If the son (daughter) himself wants to end the friendship, tell him how to do this more tactfully and politely. The child must understand that it is impossible to offend people and if he has decided to break up, then this must be done correctly. Give advice and step aside. The child himself must make a decision and understand the current situation. This is how he gains his own experience.

Making your own choice is not always easy

For some reason, you don’t like your child’s current friend and you think that he definitely shouldn’t communicate with your child; you shouldn’t announce it right away. If you start insisting on breaking up the relationship, you will lose the child’s trust in you or, even worse, he will rebel and begin to do everything “out of spite.”

Pressure on a child negatively affects further attitude him to you

After all, it's his own life and he has the right to decide with whom he communicates, but not mom and dad. Therefore, be restrained, talk to your child about what is so good about the new friend, what attracts her and what she likes. Invite him over for a joint tea party so you can all chat together. If your suspicions are confirmed and it is really worth protecting your child from the influence of a not-so-good friend, try to distract him, offer to go to a new section, where perhaps the child will find new successful friends.

Only through tactful, sensitive communication can success be achieved

Try to delicately explain and convince that such friendship will not lead to anything good. But this extreme measures. The main thing is to find an approach to your son (daughter) and you will not lose those trust relationships that you had.

What to do if you don’t like your child’s friends?

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Our friends: how can we live without them? How can we not praise them when telling others about our (long-standing) friendship? They are what we live by. Since childhood, they help us grow up and represent the first object of love outside the family. “Everyone knows that to understand the world we have always needed friends, not parents,” says psychologist Edward Martin, an expert at Italian Psychologies. “It is friends who help us grow up and lead us to understand ourselves.”

“I need friends to understand that I am not alone. That I exist, that I am accepted for who I am, with all my pros and cons,” says 34-year-old Lisa. You can’t choose your parents, but you can choose your friends, and we choose them ourselves. “It's our individuality that allows friendships to blossom,” adds 25-year-old Martin. “Thanks to her, we become those unique, inimitable and unforgettable people with whom we, in turn, want to make friends.” As Lis explains To the Little Prince in the story by Antoine de Saint-Exupéry: “If you tame me, you will become my friend and we will need each other. You will be the only one for me in the world, and I will be the only one for you.” We love our friends precisely because they allow us to be ourselves, with all our difficulties and sharp corners. And each of our friends, consciously or not, plays important role in our life balance.

Symbiotic friend: the one who saves from loneliness, fills the void

“Nadya is more than a friend. She is my twin in spirit. We think about the same thing at the same time, as if we have one unconscious for two. I don't know how things will turn out for me married life, is it forever? But what I am sure of without a shadow of a doubt is that Nadya and I will always be friends,” says 31-year-old Svetlana. Such a deep relationship with another person, which does not involve sensual overtones, indicates the need to escape from loneliness. The “symbiotic” friend is your double, your mirror. This is the person who gives you confidence that there is someone in the world just like you, who shares the same values, thoughts and judgments. “A person seeking this type of friendship usually finds it difficult to be alone with himself,” says Stefano Costa, psychotherapist and expert at Italian Psychologies. – We are talking about those people who, in order to feel alive and be confident in their existence, must constantly be in contact with another person, and friendly relations must be special." In this form, the world appears less dangerous to such people, since they do not face it alone, but together with a friend. This is a precious connection, which, however, contains a component of intense passion, which paradoxically puts this connection in danger of breaking at the first sign, interpreted as “betrayal.” For example, one of two friends begins to communicate and be friends with someone else.

Confidant: someone who makes us feel like ourselves

“The best thing about friends is that they love us despite our shortcomings. With them you can be yourself, while with family we are very often forced to play a certain role and be its hostage: an obedient daughter, loving wife, perfect mother..." - says 36-year-old Marina. Friendship gives us the opportunity not to be perfect, to show ourselves without a mask, with all our doubts and shortcomings. “Confidence that you are understood and accepted is the basis of friendship. A true friend“is someone we can trust and who allows us to open up,” says Ludovica Scarpa, communication expert, expert at Italian Psychologies. – We can tolerate comments from a friend that we would never tolerate from a stranger, because in relation to our friend we experience what I call “positive prejudice”: we know that he only wants the best for us, that he is helping us. Friendship is simple love, in which no effort is needed to please or achieve something, unlike love relationship. In friendship, possession and appropriation are not assumed, we turn to each other disinterestedly, and that is why mutual trust becomes absolute.” A friend - a confidant - is someone who does not judge us, but who speaks to us bluntly, with complete frankness, and sometimes this frankness can hurt us.

Eyewitness: the one who remembers how it all began

Often these are childhood friends with whom we remember the past and when we meet, we become the children we once were. Perpetuating childhood friendship means maintaining closeness with parents. Discuss with such friends family values, and both families. “Other people’s parents were always better than their own,” comments Stefano Costa. - It's connected with defense mechanism: By idealizing a friend, we also idealize his entire family. Own parents always scolded, but strangers did not pursue this thankless goal.” A friend-eyewitness, although he took a different road, reminds us of childhood, allows us to evaluate and measure the path we have traveled.

Compensator: one who gives what is missing

Friends compensate for what we lack and confirm our “I”. "First of all, in adolescence and in youth,” emphasizes Stefano Costa. “When peer relationships become a mirror through which young people unconsciously reinforce their choices.” Whoever was the eldest child in the family continues to carve out a leadership position for himself, finding friends who need him. These types of friends embody significant confidence and help heal childhood wounds. “Sergey is like an older brother to me,” explains 45-year-old Maxim. “He gives me advice about work and helps me move forward.” Of course, a compensatory friend helps you cope better with difficulties, but there is a risk of loading him with your problems and suffering, for which he is not responsible.

Adventure Friend: Someone Who Expands Our View of the World

With an adventurous friend you can explore everything unfamiliar... " New trend Our busy life is that we seek friendship for refuge, to protect ourselves first of all, emphasizes psychologist and Cesare Caniclin. – It’s good if at this moment an adventure friend appears who opens our eyes to the world and the future. It’s unlikely that we could do this alone.” An adventure friend makes us look at many things differently: simply because he has a different lifestyle and social circle. Often in similar cases we're talking about O creative people, for example about artists. “Anton works as a photographer and is torn between Milan, Paris and New York. His life is a hundred light years away from me, but every time we meet, we pick up the interrupted conversation where we left off in last meeting“says 42-year-old Dmitry. Trying to surround yourself with this type of friends who are far from your usual way of life is exactly the path that is worth taking. Provided that the differences that exist between you are a source of enrichment, and not a cause of misunderstanding.

Take the Friendship Quiz: Determine Your Sociability Quotient.

Related article

Happy is the person who has friends. Not just friends, but real friends, like-minded people. They don’t need to explain or prove anything, or try to look better and more significant in their eyes than you really are. These people simply love and appreciate you.

Friends usually appear in school years or during the reckless student days. With age, people are increasingly surrounded by just acquaintances, colleagues, friends or relatives.

The basis true friendship is trust, honesty and confidence in a loved one. It’s worth betraying, giving slack, or turning away once difficult situation, and selfless friendship comes to an end. You can't get her back, no matter how hard you try. True friendship is tested by time, grief and joy, disagreements and mutual assistance.

Women's friendships are different. Sometimes it is pragmatic. While being friends is convenient and profitable, lovely ladies “do not spill water.” But as soon as common interests intersect, the friendship ends.

One of the main checks female friendship for strength - these are men. If you managed to go through thick and thin and love for one guy without losing your friendships along this difficult path, you can only be envied. This is true friendship that has no price. Close friends are always ready to listen, help and support in difficult situations.

There is also friendship between a man and a woman. Such friendship can be mixed with passion, when, in addition to ordinary communication, people enjoy each other in intimately. If sex becomes a thing of the past, but people remain close spiritually, then those same relationships are formed in which a man and a woman become like-minded people and life partners.

Often childhood friends and work colleagues become good friends. Such relationships are united by a common past, common interests or professional activity and career ambitions.

It also happens that friendships exhaust themselves. Some friends are replaced by others. This is normal, because over the years all people develop, change and have no time interesting communication gradually ends or is limited to rare meetings. Friendship must be maintained by participation, sincere interest in the problems and joys of your loved one. True friendship is a gift of fate, take care of it.

Each person has life path There are individuals who remain in it for an indefinite period of time. However, everyone is wondering what kind of friendship this is? Real or for a while? Let's try to understand this in more detail and find out how to identify the right and true friends.

Any friendship should be built on mutual understanding, trust, sincerity and, in some cases, on common interests or hobbies. However, not every person knows how to be friends. Some are not capable of this, and some do not have enough desire, since they were bad experience in this matter, but it is very difficult to believe again.

The strongest friendship is considered to be the one that began with early childhood. Since you have seen this person from an early age, you know a lot about him, just as he does about you.

The present and strong friendship in life every person should feel and feel with all his soul. This is wonderful.

If this is your person, then he will support you in all your endeavors, instill confidence in you and encourage you. If this does not happen, then he is not interested in your life and your problems, and, therefore, you.

A good friend knows how to listen and also share own experience according to the situation you need.

A true friend trusts you personal secrets, and also does not distribute yours. He is not afraid of being deceived, because he trusts you as he trusts himself.

A friend will not leave you if you find yourself in a difficult situation. life situation. But he will only try to help you get out of it without consequences. Appreciate it. Try to make your friend feel needed too.

Consider whether your friend has other reasons to be friends with you. If you come to the conclusion that he needs you, then this is your man! Try to maintain friendship with him.

What is friendship and who are called friends

In serious explanatory dictionaries friendship is defined as a close relationship based on affection, mutual trust, sincerity and common interests. Many psychologists believe that friendship is not possible without love, because relationships between best friends resemble relationships loving couple, if you exclude romance and . It can also be said that true friends communicate almost like brothers and sisters in a good family, and in a relationship, the friend’s personality is more important to them, and not the benefits that can be obtained from communication.

Based on this definition of friendship, we can say with confidence that few people can really have 100 or at least 10 real friends - it is quite difficult to trust, love, share interests and hobbies, and be actively involved in the lives of so many people at once. Therefore, most people have 1-2-3 close friends, and the rest of the environment is divided into friends and just acquaintances. And this is normal, because if almost everyone with whom you can have coffee after work can be called a friend, then this is not enough for friendship.

Each person determines for himself the difference between friendly relations and friendship, but most people still agree that the differences between these two types of relationships lie in the “depth” of trust and affection. And the easiest way to show the difference between a friend and a friend is to simple examples from life:

• you can discuss it with a friend last news and gossip, but only to a friend you will tell your most intimate thoughts and experiences;
• a friend knows where you work, relax and live, and a friend knows what you love, what you worry about, and;
• You meet with a friend when it is convenient for both of you, and at his request you will go to a friend’s place even at 3 am;
• if a friend has a problem, you will most likely support him verbally or provide some assistance, and for a friend in the same case you will do everything in your power to eliminate his problem;
• when starting some important business with a friend, you would prefer to “play it safe” just in case, and you completely trust your friend;
• You can quarrel with a friend even because of a difference of opinion, but you are ready to forgive a friend a fundamentally different point of view on a particular issue, and many of its shortcomings.

It is important to note that the line between friendship and friendship is quite fluid, and the strongest friendships begin with friendships. However, the opposite is also possible - due to various life circumstances, even best friends They may move away from each other and remain just friends, or even stop communicating completely.

Why does a person need friends?

Despite the fact that there are “loner” people who believe that true friendship does not exist, and people look for benefits in any relationship, most of us are absolutely sure that every person needs friends. But not everyone can answer why they are needed. Therefore, psychologists have studied this issue and identified 5 main reasons due to which a person strives to maintain close relationships with them: