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What happens to a woman who works in a male team. What roles should not be played? The main mistakes of women in the men's team - we avoid them

Work in men's team seems difficult to those who have never worked in it. Of course, this does not mean that all employees are just waiting for the appearance of a female colleague. However, joining a male team and showing oneself as a competitive employee is no more difficult than in a female one.

Here are a few useful tips, which our editors prepared together with Alina Reizelman - an entrepreneur, business expert and author of a unique methodology for increasing productivity and efficiency.

What to avoid in a male team

When applying for a job, keep in mind: for successful integration into the team, it is necessary to think through the image and behavior to the smallest detail. Appearance, demeanor, time management, speech and habits should emphasize the seriousness of your intentions.

Avoid the following mistakes:

1. Provocative clothes

Skip the cleavage short skirts, deep cuts, bright clothes, tight dresses, high heels, fabrics through which linen or its contours are visible.

2. Bright makeup or its complete absence

A bright make-up makes it clear that you want to be the center of attention. The complete absence of makeup will create the image of a gray mouse or a self-confident bitch - it depends on the professional competence of the employee. In both cases, you will be shunned.

3. Emotions

No emotion. In the male team, only a slight benevolent smile is acceptable without a hint of mockery and flirting. Shouting, swearing, raising your voice, expressing irritation, stormy joy, compassion is unacceptable. In no case should you shed tears, walk with a dull look, hover in the clouds and withdraw into yourself.

4. Gesticulation and facial expressions

Avoid unnecessary gestures. Do not actively wave your arms, show obscene gestures, allow ambiguous touch, make faces or express feelings through facial expressions.

5. Cuteness, rudeness, rudeness

These qualities irritate colleagues of both sexes. Mannery is the lot of rich housewives. Your goal is to be professional worker. If all the men around you are characterized by rude, even boorish behavior, behave differently. You are a lady. On the other hand, don't take being rude as a personal insult. Rudeness on your part is unacceptable. Ignore rudeness in your address or parry with reason within the framework business etiquette. Rudeness is a sign of weakness and stupidity.

6. Bad habits

Smoking cigarettes with male colleagues, drinking alcohol after work, and Friday night drinking will not make you "one of you". Men can't stand smokers and drinking women. Yes, there are times when the situation calls for a sip. strong drink, but never get drunk in front of colleagues and smoke with them.

7. Weakness

Showing weakness is unacceptable. For men, you are an employee and competitor, not a muslin lady. But if you need to move furniture, move something bulky and heavy, then it is quite acceptable to turn to men for help. On the contrary, your futile attempts to independently move heavy object become an occasion for caustic jokes.

8. Flirting and personal relationships

Coquetry, flirting and romance with employees of your and competing organizations are unacceptable.

9. Demonstration of personal problems

Never tell colleagues about your personal life and family problems, do not leave the workplace without really serious reasons.

10. Idleness and vanity

Men are lounging in the workplace fewer women, but once in the men's team, you need to forget about idleness. If you've done all the work and you really have nothing to do - take the time to study the aspects that will help you improve your professionalism. Don't fuss. It doesn't suit a woman.

Leave teachings for your family. In a male team, this is unacceptable.

12. Don't snitch or gossip

Complaints about colleagues and gossip can lead to an early dismissal.

What will help a woman to withstand competition in a male team:

1. Business image

Suits with pants in men's style or with a knee-length skirt, moderate makeup, neat, styled haircut or hairstyle, 1-2 elegant jewelry from precious metals(for example, miniature earrings and brooch), shoes on comfortable heels medium height.

2. Natural

Don't try to wear a mask. Be yourself - colleagues will appreciate it.

3. Politeness, punctuality, diligence

Smooth, polite, exceptional business conversation with the whole team, punctuality, responsibility, one hundred percent high-quality performance of your duties, professionalism will quickly raise you in the eyes of the team.

4. Confidence in yourself and your professionalism

Even if you are not sure of yourself, never show it. In the male team, a demonstration of uncertainty is a sign of weakness.

5. Fair fight

Fight for the promotion honestly. Intrigues, lies, etc. will kill your reputation forever.

6. Dedication to the cause and the team

Men with constant professional rivalry know how to unite in a team. If you learn to play in a team, show that common cause for you above all, you will earn respect and honor.

At first glance, it may seem that a woman working in a male team is constantly protected by the stronger sex, pampered with compliments, groomed and cherished. In fact, the ladies in this case do not live so sweetly.

How is the men's team different from the women's?

In the first case, relations develop according to a simpler and more transparent scenario. Often, women's groups are identified with terrariums, since the professional relationships of women are usually built against a bright background. expressed emotions- the causes of envy, gossip, hypocrisy, hidden hostility and confrontation.

You can't say the same about men's teams. Although, they also have their own specifics, which are not taken into account by women planning to settle in the male team. Because the stereotype fabulous work quickly breaks into reality, where the representatives of the stronger sex are not so nice and courteous with the only girl.

After getting a job, she faces some difficulties arising from the need to adapt to a new team. Therefore, we decided to introduce you to tricks that will help you get along in a male team, determine the optimal behavior strategy among men.

So, how can a woman present herself in the right light in front of colleagues of the opposite sex? Here are some solid tips.

a number of rules will help you get used to the male team

How to properly tune in to work and behave with colleagues?

Get rid of illusions

Forget about the fact that men will treat you like a crystal vase. Of course, you shouldn't be completely pessimistic about setting yourself up. However, it is not necessary to wait for constant signs of attention, help and desire to please in everything. Men are alone at work, but on a date, in the family, they are completely different. Here they are, first of all, specialists and professionals, each of whom strives to become a leader, to assert himself. Through a career, they try to realize themselves and for this reason are always tense. Accordingly, they consider a woman as a colleague and employee, and nothing more. Therefore, getting a job in a male team, save yourself from the illusion that someone will treat you as an object of courtship and romantic feelings.

No flirting

Leave aside coquetry and attempts to manipulate male colleagues. This doesn't work, but worst case causes frivolous jokes from men. Imagine how this can ruin your already harsh workdays. Take care of your reputation. Personal topics and requests, ambiguous remarks, as well as casual touches are taboo. As life shows office romances usually don't end well.

Dress right

At work, at least too frilly or extravagant outfits are out of place. Take a closer look at what style your colleagues of the opposite sex are wearing. If among colleagues in priority formal suits, then get yourself a similar form if prevails free style- then follow him and you. Unacceptable bright makeup, mini skirts, deep neckline, too tight things, too harsh perfume. It is important not to stand out from the main mass of employees, otherwise men will think that you are trying to attract attention in this way. Of course, in enterprises where there is a dress code or uniform form, problem right choice clothing is decided by itself.

Don't show your emotions

Men, in comparison with women, are more stingy with the expression of their emotions. Therefore, they will understand tears, complaints about domestic problems ... This is especially true extreme situations when you need maximum composure and rationality. A hysterical woman will never be perceived by the representatives of the stronger sex as qualified specialist. It should be noted that women usually show the greatest emotionality in response to rudeness and attempts to offend them by men. Of course, the more subtle psychological structure of the psyche of women is to blame for everything. Therefore, it is extremely difficult not to answer the offender. But it's still worth the effort. If someone raised their voice or insulted you, react as calmly as possible: answer clearly and confidently. In no case do not show that this brought you out of emotional balance.

at work, a man strives to prove himself in professionally, so a woman should not expect any concessions from colleagues

Do not quarrel men and do not break them into groups

Sometimes women in the men's team try to create around themselves a kind of coalition of colleagues they like. The main purpose of this is to enlist some support in the team. After that, they usually allow unforgivable mistake- set their environment against the rest. Of course, it cannot do without female tricks. However, in most cases, men quickly reveal such a plan and all together take up arms against the instigator of discord. It is very difficult to restore relations with at least some colleagues after this.

Don't play mommy

A common strategy for a woman's behavior in a male team is the guardianship of her colleagues. Trying to please them, the representatives of the weaker sex begin to indulge their colleagues daily with a variety of culinary delights. Even if a few fans of your culinary masterpieces are found, you will not become more than a colleague for them. IN best case you will be considered a good housewife.

Stop trying to make friends with colleagues

Of course, this does not mean at all that you need to walk around sullen and not talk to anyone. Just focus on benevolent business relationship, and not on revelations about his personal life and heart-to-heart conversations over a cup of coffee. You should not count on the fact that they will gossip with you, share secrets and discuss colleagues. In men's teams, they really don't like it.

Remember your the main objective- make it clear to male colleagues that you are no less competent specialist than they are, and also worthy of respect. Most likely, you will have a hard time, but, as you know, everything is possible in this life. Just get your priorities right.

Should a woman be afraid of a male team? Hardly. This is not such a "terrible beast" as it is described. There are cases when ladies, after a long company of the stronger sex, could not join the women's team - that's where the problem turned out to be. How can a woman adapt among men and become her own?

Don't panic

The first thing to do is stop panicking. Times are peaceful now, no one will point you to a place at the stove. It depends, of course, on the team and profession, but are you hardly hired as miners or loaders?

If testosterone is seething in your department, then colleagues will only be happy to see you in the office. And if you come across men from the “neither this nor that” series, then there is no reason to worry at all.

In any case, no one will offend you - if you don’t give a reason.

But do not forget that a man at work is a collected, serious type, engaged in self-realization and the fight against competitors. And you are actually invading his territory, so you have to take a hit.

The first thing all your colleagues should see is that you came to work no less than the rest rather than defile in a beautiful dress.

Be a pro

Do not first include arrogance, pride and excessive independence. Do not fight off the offered help, do not try to solve all the issues alone. Now you are a team player, not a weak link.

It is very important to remain a professional in the eyes of colleagues: only then will you be respected. Therefore, keep a serious and respectable appearance in important situations, and leave the image of a frivolous girl for parties.

Flirt less and never wear miniskirts to the office.

Accept compliments favorably, but keep your distance and don't interfere in men's conversations if the topic is of no interest to you. And if you are interested (for example, you also support Barcelona), why not chat?

Disguise

Typical female mistakes when trying to adapt in a male team - studying hundreds of jokes about Lieutenant Rzhevsky, buying a dictionary with obscene language and changing your favorite skirt to shapeless jeans and a military-style T-shirt.

You don't have to become almost a man, a mate, a vest, a relationship consultant, and so on. After all, you came here to work, didn't you?

In the men's team, it is important to remain a woman: elegant, modest, romantic. You don't have to go deep enough to be Jane's soldier. Do not change to please the public, do not try to pass for your 100%.

Although psychologists confirm: a little external adaptation is even useful (in nature this is called “mimicry”). It's about O men's items wardrobe: buy yourself a stylish tie, vest, shirt or formal trousers.

There are several standard rules of conduct with men at work:

1. Do not make fun of their work, knowledge and skills, especially in front of others. Don't criticize. This is not pleasant to anyone, but the stronger sex reacts especially painfully.

2. Leave your problems, worries, doubts at home and trust your girlfriends. Men will prefer to discuss politics or sports, rather than your intimate failures.

3. Don't hide behind your weaknesses. Of course, you'll be forgiven if you can't do it, but don't out loud give yourself a discount because you're a woman. Sooner or later it will start to annoy everyone.

4. Try to have the same service relations, without translating them into the category of intimate.

5. Control yourself. All violent emotions - only for closed door. Women's tears are a severe test for male tolerance.

Elephant skin

However, you still have to get a little rough inside. If there are five men in the office besides you, you can’t run away from greasy jokes, rude discussions ex girlfriends, vulgar anecdotes and other indelicate statements.

If you are ready to faint from all this, like a noble girl from the 18th century, then it is better to refuse such work.

However, you are not required to participate in these discussions. Just remove the judgmental look from your face and try to smile knowingly: in the end, you, too, have an unflattering opinion about your ex.

Be prepared to be disappointed strong field. If you are a romantic by nature, and do not believe that men also gossip and discuss girls behind their backs, maybe you should not take off your rose-colored glasses?

The HeadHunter website conducted a survey of its users in order to find out how comfortable it is for them to work in men's or women's team. The answers of 4690 interviewed men and women showed that it is more convenient for both of them to work among men. And if everything is clear with the representatives of the stronger sex - they are in their element, then how does a woman feel in a purely male environment?

To find out, employees of the University of Indiana USA conducted a study. They chose women who work in a team where men are at least 85 percent. Throughout the experiment, women measured the level of the so-called stress hormone - cortisol. Studies have shown that it is much higher than the established norm.

What plunged women into a state of stress? Russian scientists - specialists in psychology would be among the first to name the factor of deceived expectations. Boris Masterov, candidate psychological sciences, program manager of the Institute for Professional Growth, an expert of the Open Society Institute, one of the main mistakes of women who go to work in a male team, considers their desire to remain special, requiring help in the workplace, male attention and so on. And he makes a huge mistake. According to Boris Masterov, a man at work and outside it are completely different personalities.

The further course of events depends on the woman herself. If she quickly adapts “through the looking glass,” then she will not bring her charter to this monastery. No coquetry, hints of helping the weaker sex and others female tricks. Psychologists who study business relationships say that men welcome this style of behavior. And the woman in this case feels more comfortable.

Boris Masterov gives examples when a woman, finding herself in a purely male team, makes another serious mistake: she immediately takes the bull by the horns, begins to develop frenzied activity, take on everything, show herself everywhere, demonstrating professionalism and skills. Not at ease, she feels already on the second or third day. After a short time, the lady realizes that she will not be able to work in such an atmosphere. The explanation for this, according to the psychologist, is found quickly if you understand the male nature well.

Since a man comes to work in order to realize himself, to make a career - he will not tolerate competitors in trousers or skirts, and even more so he will not help if he sees in a woman encroachments on career. There were cases when male colleagues simply “set up” such a zealous employee in order to demonstrate to the management her unsuitability. As practice shows, in the event of failures in the work of such a team, the “gender varyag” is the first to lose his job.

Is it any wonder that, according to HeadHunter polls, 55 percent of women consider the difficulty of career growth to be the main problem of work among men.

No matter how strange it may sound, women who, from childhood, have been able to be equally good friends with both girls and boys, take root best of all in the men's team. Having become adults and having got into the male team, they see their equals and behave accordingly. It's like in a children's team game - the rules are the same for everyone. And if something does not work out, you are responsible for your mistakes yourself. And if you need to help out the team, you are the first to turn your shoulder. With such a line of behavior, a woman will soon feel herself in an ideal team. HeadHunter, as a result of a survey of men who have worked for a long time in the women's team and women in the men's team, I found out that 49 percent of men and 84 (!) percent of women consider the atmosphere comfortable for themselves in the circle of employees.

Svetlana Rumyantseva

Women and men differ from each other in many ways. In business, the main difference lies in the psychology of the sexes. People in Russia still live by the old settings. Soviet times left an indelible imprint: leading positions are given to men, they also receive professional preferences. The pay ratio is amazing. On average, a representative of the stronger sex earns 40% more than a woman under the same conditions. Equality of work are just words in labor code. The unspoken rules are much stronger.

When a woman enters the men's team, she is tested for strength, confirming the right to equality. How to survive among men? You don't need to be afraid. Gather your strength.

Male team

Representatives of the stronger sex have been engaged in intellectual work for thousands of years and have developed effective mechanisms for relationships. The laws of the business sphere are the laws of men.

Restrained relationship.

They may seem stingy and inexpressive to a woman. This is an optional condition: the brightness of the reaction depends on temperament. Men show more actively. "Weak" feelings are usually hidden.

Competition.

Rivalry in the men's team is common occurrence. Yes, the times of tribal struggle are over, but subconsciously the representative of the stronger sex perceives colleagues as competitors. There is a woman's fault in this: the fair sex evaluates a man by his career achievements and level wages. An advantageous position in the team guarantees prestige not only at work, but also in personal relationships.

Groupings.

Within the team, men are divided into warring groups. Each has a leader and its own tasks. It is more profitable to fight competitors together.

Hierarchy.

The origins lie in the male nature. Natural selection takes place. The position of a man in a team depends not only on professional, but also on personal qualities. Relationships between colleagues are built in accordance with their positions on the hierarchy ladder.

Infantilism.

Men are big kids. Work is work, and you also need to fool around. Men's jokes in a team can confuse the fair sex.

From these features follow the personal attitudes of men working in a group. The most common of them:

"I myself!"

The representative of the stronger sex believes in his infallible professionalism. Even if he guesses that this is not so, the man does not admit to incompetence. Having made a mistake, he will try to solve the problem on his own. If it fails, it will try again. His stubbornness and pride make him spend more time and energy on work. A man seeks help either in case of a fiasco or in an emergency.

"I am strong and independent»

This is the attitude of professional men who are in good standing in the group. Depending on colleagues and even the boss is not for them.

"I have to fight"

The struggle in the team takes place on psychological level. Task: make the enemy turn his tail. It's a mechanism natural selection strengthening hierarchical relationships in the team.

"We are a team"

In minutes real danger, the male team rallies to solve the problem, forgetting about previous disagreements.

But pour into male wrestling, and accepting all the rigid rules of the game is not worth it. You are a woman, which means you are different from your male counterparts. Your task is to combine the role of business and social so as not to disturb the atmosphere familiar to men, but also not to be left for nothing.

Roles in the team

Getting into new team, you must take a certain position in it and decide on the role. Often the team itself awards newcomers a place, especially if they show indecision and excessive softness. Team roles are:

In leading roles, you will find a leader, manager, coordinator, creative and simply who is able to unite some of the employees around him.

Among the followers, the most disadvantageous position is occupied by rejected employees. If you do not want to be one of them, avoid roles that are unacceptable in the male team.

What roles should not be played?

"Mommy"

Cleaning out the office after the men, swearing at the mess and disorganized workplace Colleagues, you remind the representatives of the stronger sex a mother hen. Pies to the office every day and homemade dinners will also not add respect, but will only strengthen gender prejudices in the minds of men.

"Gentle lady"

Do male jokes hurt your psyche? Are conversations of the stronger sex embarrassing and seem rude? Don't get involved. If the behavior of colleagues goes beyond reasonable limits, you can make a polite remark about rude words in your presence. Hint that such behavior is far from business ethics. Do not scold men, as you will cause open hostility among colleagues.

Don't abuse your position. Yes, you are a representative of the weaker sex and you can ask for help: carry heavy folders to your workplace, get a report from the top shelf, which you cannot reach. This does not mean that you have the right to claim light work. Whatever the circumstances, don't ask for an easy task.

"Yoke"

Flirting with a man in the workplace, you lose the title of a professional, becoming ordinary woman to which all male prejudices apply. You devote less time to work duties when you are busy with your personal life at work. In the office, you are not an object of attention, but a competent employee.

It's a big mistake to flirt with your boss. Men have been fighting for positions for years. Attempting to seduce the boss will be perceived by colleagues as a way to get promoted by dishonestly beating direct competitors.

"Man in a Skirt"

Imitating the representatives of the male sex, you will not achieve respect. Copying male habits, supporting Friday sprees and conversations in the smoking room, you will cause rejection among colleagues. Rudeness is unusual for women and repels men on a subconscious level.

"Girlfriend"

Don't try to take the men out open conversation. Do not discuss personal life and do not ask colleagues for details of relationships. Prying into other people's business in a male team is a bad idea.

"Running Girl"

When you allow men to shift their work to you or volunteer such "help" to please the team, you lose respect dramatically. Other people's duties will be hung on you, but you will not receive gratitude.

How to find a place in the men's team?

Show professionalism and diligence in work

Do quality work, prove that you are well versed in your field. What are the qualities of a professional?

He singles out the main thing from the mass of the secondary. Men appreciate it. Women, digging into the details, miss the essence of the task and spend more time than necessary.
The pro is aware of the place of his work in the overall system.
A professional is always attentive. A missed trifle sometimes let the whole team down.
The pro does not show that it is difficult for him.
Create an image of a competent specialist

Even if you are experiencing difficulties and do not know what to do, . Put aside doubts. Remember that in the male team, help is asked in extreme cases.

Conquer embarrassment

Men can be rude, but you don't need to blush because of every joke. Embarrassment is. Awkwardness in communication with colleagues will not bring benefits. Be bolder and more determined, then men will begin to trust you.

Don't make eyes

You came to work, not to seduce men? “Colleague” and “object of passion” are incompatible roles. By choosing one of them, you donate the second. Courtship from colleagues can be a dangerous provocation.

When starting a relationship with a member of the business team, think about the possible outcome. Imagine that you are breaking up. How to work together further? Do not forget that men also gossip and discuss women among themselves.

Keep an eye on your appearance

Business suit, strict make-up, neat hairstyle. Do not allow yourself to be careless in appearance.

Forget about privacy in the workplace

Leave problems in the family and on the personal front at home. Focus on work at work. about love and romantic evening will also have to be forgotten. Colleagues will not appreciate the wandering in the clouds and absent-mindedness.

Men and women loaf at work in equal numbers, but they do it in different ways. Representatives of the weaker sex alternate idleness with work. A woman can fill out a report and read at the same time fashion magazine. Thus, the work is stretched for the whole day. A man will first take care of business affairs, and in the remaining time he will allow himself to mess around.

What can confuse a woman in a male team?

Obscene expressions

Men love harsh words. They are used to enhance the emotional coloring. A harsh phrase that can sober up and set a man in a working mood is a strong blow for a woman. Leaders who are accustomed to communicating with mended "male" phrases, which are perceived by the stronger sex as something natural, forget about the subtleties of female nature. If something seems rude to you, do not rush to jump to conclusions. Don't get hysterical, get together and talk to your boss and colleagues. Often men make concessions to a woman without negative consequences. If a polite request did not help, it remains to accept.

Gender bias

In any team there are men who do not perceive a woman as a specialist. For them, femininity and professionalism are incompatible concepts. News active struggle with such a colleague is useless. Words won't prove anything. Do a good job, and over time, he will get used to or find an excuse for your "uniqueness".

Male self-confidence

Representatives of the stronger sex tend to exaggerate their dignity. Boasting in men's ranks- a common thing. Remember how wild animals try to show strength before a fight? So men create competitive images. If you follow the general tactic and ascribe a couple of extra virtues to yourself, it will work to your advantage.

IN competition will have to act on an equal footing with colleagues. Psychological discomfort you need to overcome it, but don't show your feelings to anyone. If you are not looking for a promotion and you are satisfied with the position, salary and working conditions, show femininity. You will be given the role of "guardian of the hearth" in the team. You will take a leading position, but avoid the main troubles when getting used to the men's team. The advantage of this situation is the mitigation of gender prejudices. Woman supporting a healthy climate and positive attitude in a team, fulfills its natural role, defusing the situation and making a man's life calmer.

Studies show that with the successful integration of a representative of the weaker sex into a male team, the effectiveness of teamwork increases. Both parties benefit: the woman improves her professional and communication skills, while the men overcome prejudice and learn cultural business communication.

March 15, 2014

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