Natalya Kaptsova

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Treason to my own husband- the most common reason why our conscientious women turn to psychologists. In one case, betrayal is a one-time misunderstanding, in another - love triangle(there are many options for the development of events) but regardless of the situation, the woman is faced with the question - what to do next?

Should you fall at your spouse’s feet and beg for forgiveness, or, in the name of the family, pretend that nothing happened? What do psychologists say on this topic?

The main reasons for women cheating on their husbands – are you familiar with them?

Men have a surprisingly simple attitude towards cheating - “ not caught - didn't cheat " And talking about cheating on your wife is practically bad manners. Well, if only in as a last resort, when the holes in the family boat cannot be hidden, and there is a desire to annoy the “unscrupulous” friend in life, who is not able to appreciate either the stars or the whole world thrown at her feet.

But what about the weak half of humanity? Rarely does a woman treat infidelity “like a man” - that is, as normal phenomenon and under the motto “a good leftist makes a marriage stronger.” Usually, women cheat for certain reasons and then have a hard time dealing with the betrayal - with remorse, mental tossing and vows “nothing more!”

Why and in what cases does a wife cheat on her husband?

• The wife is the head of the family
  This situation is not at all uncommon in our time. And it is precisely with such a role in the family that a woman’s chances of committing adultery greatly increase. IN in this case, the places of the “components” change, and the wife, changing the traditional worldview, decides that the right to the forbidden fruit belongs to her in fact - “I’m in charge here, and all the dissatisfied dependents can go to their mother.”
• Physical dissatisfaction within the confines of your bed
  If sexual relations spouses are a “five-minute race” in honor of March 8 (or even more often, but mechanically, for show, to an interesting TV series or football), then the natural development of events is an involuntary search for someone who can drown out this “hunger”. As a rule, relationships with this “someone” become one-time (although, sometimes, they develop into a long-lasting romance), and the family collapses.
• Adultery at work
  And there are options. One is boldly pursued by a colleague, shamelessly enveloping her in a trail of breathtaking perfume, “accidentally” touching her hand and winking invitingly in the direction of the cafeteria. Sooner or later (if there are prerequisites in the form of problems in the family), the woman’s “defense” falls, and new client for the anonymous circle “Hello, my name is Alla, I cheated on my husband” is ready. Another option is corporate events. Under the influence of alcohol and emotions eager to be unleashed, women do a lot of stupid things.
• Vacation - go for a walk, go for a walk!
  In some families, oddly enough, it is customary to vacation separately. Perhaps to take a break from each other and have time to miss your other half. And sometimes it just doesn’t work out to go on vacation together - work keeps you busy. As a result, the wife goes with her friend and... The sea, warm evening, a glass of wine, hot tanned guys from another country - and the “I’m married!” program. my head goes into sleep mode.
• Extreme
  This option can be attributed to dissatisfaction in bed with your husband, but here everything is a little more complicated. Just stability “in bed” is not everything. There are also ladies who are simply bored without “pepper” and experiments. Casual sex, sex with a boss in an office, with a colleague on a desk, with a friend in a restaurant toilet, etc. becomes extreme, exciting from head to toe, etc. Of course, not all options at once (this is a very difficult case), but one of them. And repentance with pangs of conscience usually does not happen after such a marathon. If the spouse is able to satisfy all the extreme desires of his half, then the need for betrayal for her simply disappears.
• "Heredity"
  There are many exceptions to this rule. But it is still a proven fact that a girl, in front of whose mother regularly changed admirers, begins to believe that such behavior is the norm. And going on a spree from your husband (if you really wanted to, the cards were stacked and the night was so wonderful) - it’s not scary. He won't know anything anyway.
• Age
  Again, a rule with an exception (one size does not apply to everyone). But young wives are still too unstable in what they generally want from life. And divorce in the event of a small affair usually does not scare them - “oh well, there are people like you in line behind me.” Adult women are more stable in relationships. They already know that one of the pillars on which a family rests is trust. And the percentage of adultery among adult women is extremely low. Moreover, the “queue of fans” is getting shorter and shorter every year.
• Long separation
  A spouse is in the army, on a business trip, a spouse is a sailor or a truck driver, etc. A woman tired of loneliness (but, of course, faithful) suddenly meets a man who “understands” her and is ready to lend his strong “friendly” shoulder. A strong shoulder quickly transforms into a hot embrace, into which the woman falls without even thinking. Because I’ve already forgotten what it’s like. Of course, in the morning you will be ashamed. And before her husband arrives, the woman will have time to exhaust herself with remorse so much that she either immediately confesses, or by that time she will understand that, in principle, there is nothing to talk about. Because “the husband is still the best.”
• Bad example
  Some women get together to cross stitch. Others discuss global problems and “how to get a child to do his homework.” The third of the meetings organizes a competition - who has the “branded” handbag, more expensive boots, darker tan and more lovers. There are others, of course, but the third option is the most “senseless and merciless.” “Having a lover” is almost a matter of prestige for some girls. How good car or a dog for $2000. And those who fell under the influence of such ladies young girls they also begin to think that it’s normal to go on a spree from your fool husband (your “wallet with legs”).
• Revenge and resentment
  Powerful factor. This reason for betrayal is the most common. "An eye for an eye", treason for treason. Naturally, there is no need to talk about saving the family in such a situation. Although it happens that such a mutual shake-up becomes the beginning of a new stable life for both spouses.
• Husband's inattention
  Every family once has a moment of tiredness from each other or a “moment of crisis.” And it depends on both whether they will survive this period without shocks or go their separate ways, tired of throwing firewood at family hearth. As a rule, the scenario is the same: the husband no longer speaks kind words, does not make surprises, does not kiss him when leaving at work, he has to be taken by storm in bed, etc. Tired of futile attempts to change the situation, the woman begins to look around. Read also:

Instructions for an unfaithful wife - what to do after cheating on your husband?

For most women own betrayal- serious challenge , which is quite difficult to get out of without losing face.

What to do if the “terrible” thing does happen - what do experts advise?

• To confess or not to confess? Before you make a choice, ask yourself: do you love your husband? Do you want to continue sailing with him in the same boat? family boat To happy old age? What is the reason for the betrayal? Will you be able to live as before, given the fact of betrayal? And how might the situation develop after your confession?
• If you love your husband, if you are satisfied with everything about him, and cheating is a random episode (under the influence of alcohol, emotions, resentment, etc.), which you do not intend to repeat and which no one will ever know about (this is the main thing), then You shouldn’t admit it to your husband. Because recognition, as a rule, is followed by divorce. The awareness of your guilt will certainly haunt and torment you, but you have the opportunity to atone for your guilt with all-consuming love for your spouse and save your family.
• If there is even 0.001% that the truth will come out, if you were almost caught red-handed, if even a psychologist did not help you get rid of remorse, and confession bursts out of you as soon as you look into your husband’s eyes - confess. It is quite possible that your husband will understand and forgive you. Sometimes betrayal even becomes excellent occasion– finally discuss the problems that have accumulated in the family and eliminate all misunderstandings between spouses. Just don’t tell your husband all the intimate details. And convince him that everything happened due to circumstances that were beyond your control (alcohol, eclipse, revenge for that blonde, etc.). And don’t forget to add that you understand your stupidity, do not want a divorce, and in general “there is no one better than you.”
• Understand the reasons that pushed you to cheat. Maybe it's time to change something in family life? Or has the moment come for a serious conversation with your husband? Or do you yourself demand more from your spouse than he can give you? Or maybe love just doesn’t live in your house anymore? Your decision - to be or not to be - depends on the clarity of your understanding of the reason. That is, should you forget about adultery and return to your husband’s own hands, or is it time to tell him the truth and start new life without him?

What to do if your conscience deprives you of sleep, and you feel that if you don’t throw this stone off your soul, it will be easier to drown with it? How to calm your conscience and erase adultery from your memory , if you catastrophically do not want to admit to your husband that you are cheating and are afraid of losing him?

• Work on mistakes
  Take a break from self-eating and analyze your life. If in good company, over a glass or two, you start dancing on the table, and you are drawn to heroic deeds, then categorically avoid such companies and alcohol in general. If you lack variety in bed, tell your husband “all the secrets of pleasure after 10 years of marriage.” It is unlikely that he will be against it. If your work is full of gorgeous guys, and everyone’s gaze drowns you centuries-old ice, then it's time to look for another job. Etc.
• Remember: time heals
  Of course, a residue will remain, but there is no “delete” button in our memory, so relax, stop throwing ashes on your head, accept betrayal as a fait accompli and move on with your life. Nothing can be changed anyway. If things get really bad, go to your priest for confession and do everything so that in the future you don’t even have the desire to change.
• Occupy your head with more useful thoughts
  Find a hobby that helps you take your mind off that “shameful moment.”
• Try to ignore everything that might remind you of cheating.
  Don’t go to the cafe where you sat with your “adult”, don’t walk on those streets and delete all data about him from your phone, notebook and computer.
• Dedicate yourself to your husband and family
  Return often to the time when you first met your spouse (especially return to him when thoughts come to him). to a random man). Cherish the feeling of love for your husband.
• If you feel like you're just torn with guilt, don't dump the truth on your husband.
  Take it to someone who will listen to you, understand and bury your secret in a cup of coffee (friend, girlfriend, parents - close person). Relief is definitely guaranteed.

Well, a little about “prevention”. You barely get up on " slippery slope“cheaters, as soon as the sparks of the future fire of random passion flare up inside you - think straight away about whether you are ready to sacrifice family happiness, the psyche of children and the trust of her husband for an hour (night) of pleasure.

What do you think about female infidelities Oh? We will be grateful for your opinion!

Cheating is ugly in any of its manifestations, regardless of who cheated on whom and how. Women are upset by infidelity and unsettled by an errant wife.

What to do if your wife cheated

When such grief occurs in a family, one should not give in to emotions, although this is quite difficult. It’s better to retire, calm down and think everything over carefully. Sometimes deceived husbands act rashly, do things and say words that hurt even their unfaithful wives. And the worst thing is that what is done in anger cannot be changed, and this does not in any way make a person beautiful.

If you catch your wife being unfaithful:

1. Get some privacy. You can’t go to bars, to see friends, and even less so to see your girlfriends. Alcohol will not help, but will only make the situation worse.
2. Understand your feelings for your wife, those that you had for her earlier, when you didn’t know bad news. This will help you understand how dear this person is to you.
3. Weigh everything possible ways reconciliation and changing the situation. Breaking up is much easier than trying to stay together.
4. If it hurt you so much that it’s impossible to even think about continuing the relationship, then at least try to get out of this situation with dignity. You shouldn’t poison your life with hatred and malice towards a person who is not worthy of any emotions at all.
5. Find out what caused the infidelity. If there is elementary promiscuity, it is better to leave. If your wife has fallen in love, think, this could very well happen to you, here you need and can fight for her return to the family.

Female infidelity reasons

It has two faces: the first is unsightly - this is promiscuity and a tendency to infidelity both in the presence of a beloved man and in his absence, the second face is love. Most often, wives cheat on their husbands because they met another person. This can be either a sincere belief that this is her one and only, or a truly real soulmate. Not everyone and not always marry for love, and sometimes they meet it much later, already being burdened with family ties.

What to do if your wife cheated? Base your actions on the reason for her infidelity. There are marriages in which infidelity never happens, but there are also those in which spouses provide each other with complete freedom. Muslims accept polygamy; in the north, among the local population, you can find families where one wife has several husbands. is still the case. Don’t give in to panic and look carefully at those around you. You can’t listen to other people’s advice, only your heart and mind will help you find the true way out of this situation.

Bring back your loved one

What to do if your wife cheated? Understand the reason for what happened, forgive her and return her to the family. Many men are quite sensitive to female infidelity. they leave their wives, and then, a little later, they themselves come to make peace. You should always give your women a second chance, breakup is the kind of thing that can ruin everything. Your wife has already tried another world, without you, and who knows: if you turn away from her, perhaps she will be happy there too. If your love for her is strongest, then you know what to do. If your wife cheated, you can follow the dubious path of revenge, or you can forgive each other and live happily ever after.

The fact of betrayal of the woman you love can unsettle you strong man. If you find out that your best friend was looking for someone on the side and did not inform you about it, this is not an easy test.

When the familiar and seemingly so stable world collapses, you need to understand how to live on and what to do in the current situation. And first of all, any man wants to know what prompted his woman to cheat.

• Why did she do this?

There can be many reasons for female infidelity. First of all, it is important to take into account the personality characteristics of your partner. Some women are simply not capable of cheating, even if existing relationships they are not satisfied at all. Others, on the contrary, tend to “go to the left” with or without reason. As a rule, such ladies perceive adultery as a game. Trying, they do not think at all about the feelings of another person and live, as they say, one day at a time. It is difficult to judge such women; they are often said about them: “well, she was born that way...”.

But it happens that even women who are not prone to cheating decide to take this step. And this happens in cases where they are not completely satisfied with the relationship, but for some reason they cannot end it. Maybe your “other half” lacks attention, warmth, or you have tortured her with your control. Very often, men themselves provoke deception when they cannot and poison a woman’s life constant suspicions. Also common reasons for cheating is unsatisfactory sex life, lack of sincerity in relationships and the constant need to meet too high demands from a partner.

Another one common reason female infidelity - husband's infidelity. If a man himself is often not inclined towards monogamy, his partner constantly experiences jealousy and complexes because own appearance and suffers. For many the only way restore self-esteem and are once again in a relationship on the side.

• Why does a woman need another man?

If men often take their trips to the side not very seriously, hoping to “take a walk” and then return to the bosom of the family, then for most women, looking for another partner means that, firstly, she has reached last stage despair, and secondly, what she is ready to create new family. If a woman is actively looking for connections on the side, this means that she is in search of a potential father for her children and is very serious.

At the same time, she feels not the best in the best possible way. Most representatives of the fairer sex at such moments are tormented by remorse; they do not like lying to their partner and at the same time it is very difficult. However, the opportunity to experience love again, not for one’s own sake, but for the sake of someone else, turns out to be stronger than the pangs of conscience. Every man needs to understand that a rival may appear not because the woman feels bad or is trying to take revenge. Perhaps love has come into her life, and there is nothing you can do about it, you just have to accept that your relationship will now change.

• How to live further?

Whatever the reasons for the betrayal, the man who finds out about it is faced with the question of how to live further. In the case of a partner’s betrayal, the answer lies in our internal scales, which check whether his actions are fair or not. For example, if a man understands that he himself is not sinless, if he sees what his actions led to betrayal, the scales of internal scales can reach balance.

In this case, the man, provided that he loves his partner, can enter into dialogue. True, before that he will need time to cope with his pain. If there is no understanding, and the man considers himself a victim of an insidious traitor, finding no justification for her action, he will strive to leave, even if the breakup of the relationship causes him great pain.

To do right choice, try not to let resentment and the desire for revenge guide your actions. In a state where negative emotions exciting, you can make a decision that will ruin your whole life. Therefore, if you find out that your wife has cheated on you, take time to make a decision, cope with yourself, relieve stress, and only then decide whether your relationship will have another chance.

Try not to weigh your actions on the scales of justice, but to feel how dear your woman is to you. If it is more important than wounded pride, try to understand it. Perhaps you are partly to blame for what happened. In this case, you will have a dialogue and an attempt to jointly decide how to live further. There is a problem in your family, and only you can find a way out together.

Darkness, emptiness, melancholy, hopelessness - this is how people most often define the situation when talking about the betrayal of their husband or wife. “I will never forgive you. Treason is the end, I’ll leave right away,” theorists of the issue most often say. When it comes to practice, thoughts change. I don't make excuses for traitors. I want to help those who had to find out about their partner's betrayal.

Why do husband and wife cheat? Reasons for cheating

1. The most common reason, common for men and women, is lack of love. The second half is busy with work, children, friends; there is no time for each other, it is impossible to have a dialogue, no sex- the most common components that make up this cocktail. At this moment, a person becomes an easy victim: a nice girl will pay attention, smile, say: “You are the smartest, kindest, sexiest”... Or vice versa - a man will come across who will talk about “ amazing eyes, lips” and so on. In such a situation, there is something to work with, you can save your family.
2. The second reason is that we didn’t have enough fun. There are no special excuses here, but there is hope that you will have some fun.
3. They cheat for new sensations: they have become bored, they are not attracted to their husband (wife), they want something different. Utopian option. As a rule, the saying “An old horse does not spoil the furrow” is remembered too late.
4. Flashes new love- There’s nothing to talk about here, anything can happen.

Harsh statistics say that 70% of men and 50% of women cheat at least once in their lives. Moreover, most of them regret it, they do not want the betrayal to happen again or for half of them to find out about it.

Men cheat more often because physical attraction. But it is important to remember that in betrayal, as in any problem in family life, both are always to blame. Look at yourself in the mirror, remember your conversations over the week, think about when you had sex last time. Do you know the date exactly? That is, he is on schedule, by mutual agreement, in agreed upon positions?

Not guilty, you say? Men need sex. They have not given birth, their hormones are normal, and at some point their brain descends into the organ between their legs. This means that you either have to live taking this into account, or not look for evidence of male infidelity, especially if you are not ready to find it!

Women cheat with ears. It is so important for them to hear about their uniqueness, originality, to receive gifts from fans, romantic messages. Women want to be loved. If men read this, they will say: “Yeah, they want money, an apartment, and a car.” This is true! But practice shows that without love, or rather, without manifestations of this love, it is difficult for a woman. And as soon as there is a man who admires her, she will hardly resist. And sex is more of an inevitability that occurs on the initiative of the admirer.

Treason: is it possible to save a family?

In fact, a very common option is not physical, but emotional betrayal: correspondence with “objects” in in social networks, SMS, fantasies. And we can’t say that this is a safe option. It often grows out of it serious feeling, and then it’s difficult to save the family.

Is it worth it? Everyone decides for themselves. Most try to save the marriage, and, I must say, successfully. Couples need to find a reason and talk it out. You have to survive the insult and be able to move on. And after everything has been clarified, discussed and an end has been put, it is strictly forbidden to return to this topic! If you start a conversation every day, “Of course, I’m bad, but yours...” - that’s it, it’s a dead end, you can’t get out of it.

The traitor must realize, draw conclusions and never repeat such actions! Otherwise, it’s also a dead end. Option one - put yourself in the place of your half, imagine an avalanche of this destructive pain... And even better - imagine these feelings before a destructive thought enters your head. Because of lust and whim, you can lose everything that is truly valuable in life.

If your wife cheats: 4 types of women

It is not customary to talk about this topic, especially publicly. After all, it is painful, difficult to understand and causes a flurry of emotional assessments from others. But we will try to understand the origins of the problem and understand why women cheat.

Let me give you a letter from a reader as an example.

“Larissa, there are still two weeks until we communicate on Skype, and I’m going crazy. Maybe you can write an article about my problem? I know I will be judged, there will be a lot of angry opinions, but I don’t care anymore. I am 31 years old, I am married, we have two children, they are 8 years old and 3 years old. I returned to work from maternity leave, fell in love with my boss, and cheated on her. The husband found out, forgave, and doesn’t say anything bad. But I’ve been destroying myself for a year now, I hate myself, I can’t live. How could I? I don’t understand... Yes, there were problems at home, but is that an excuse? Analyze, I beg you, the reasons for female infidelity! Help me survive!

When we talk about men's infidelities, then to us women, everything is clear: he is a goat, she is a victim. And when is it the other way around? Would you say this is an exception? Meanwhile, in my work I constantly encounter female infidelities. And here we can distinguish several categories:

1. Women who cheat regularly throughout marriage. This does not bother them and often suits the husband. They are partners and friends, but sex has not been going well for a long time, and these infidelities are committed for the sake of physical satisfaction. None long relationship, emotions or love. There are very few such stories, and such women do not come to a psychologist because of infidelity, mentioning them incidentally in the context of another problem.
2. Cheating with the aim of “knocking out a wedge with a wedge” - her husband cheated, she took revenge. Relationships rarely survive after this.
3. Treason as a result Great love. As a rule, the family also breaks up and a new one is created, with the object of passion.
4. But most often wives like the author of the letter come to me. It seemed to them that they were loved, appreciated, respected, adored, but in the end they got what they deserved. Such betrayals are dominated by soul feelings, not sex. There is a lot of correspondence in them and there is a touch of romance. U similar relationships there are no prospects, they quickly get tired of them, but they suffer very much when it all ends!

Cheating on your husband: what next?

Statistically, women experience much more severe remorse after cheating than men. And they often go with this feeling of guilt to a specialist. This is truly one of the best ways help yourself.

1. If you want to deal with this yourself, then look for and analyze the reasons! It will become easier.
2. Whether or not to talk about cheating on your husband, I cannot decide for you, but you can ask for his forgiveness both in thoughts and in actions. This will make it easier for you.
3. If you are a believer, contact a pastor, this often helps.
4. Be careful with confessions to friends and relatives; very often such confessions turn against you.
5. Prevention is everything! Talk to your husband, have a constant dialogue, don’t be silent. Dear men, please communicate with your wives! After all, sometimes you can lose a loved one because of stupidity.
6. Be sure to rest! Lack of rest and constant stay “within four walls” throws you into the arms of the first person who calls you.
7. Men, tell women sweet words. After all, they love with their ears. Even a message once a day with kind words- already good!
8. Live each other’s lives, share your partner’s interests, be interested in his work. You should be united by something other than children.
9. If an “accident” happens, still try to maintain the relationship. This is possible if you are important and need each other.
10. There is no need to categorically assert that betrayal cannot be forgiven, that to forgive means not to respect yourself. Only the very wise and strong people capable of forgiveness. They deserve great respect!

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Discussion

Divorce, there is no other option in my opinion.

On TNT television on the Mystic Info website, I found help from a specialist in the field of magic. She returned her husband to the family. The problem was very big. In his old age he got involved with a young girl. From the first time it was clear that she was with him for money, because he had a large pension (Chernobyl). The girl was really clever! And the children talked to him, and I, and my relatives - like impenetrable! They tried to talk to her, so she made a sacrifice in front of him, and because of this he left, although not to her. She doesn't even need him! Lived with my brother. This girl keeps going to clubs and restaurants, but his age doesn’t allow it, so it turns out that he sits at home, and she uses his money to go out with her peers, and he tells him how good she is! It would take a long time to describe the whole situation! We decided to take the bull by the horns! My daughter accidentally saw a mystical program and the Mystic Info website on TNT. There is a lot of information on the mystic website free spells and rituals. I turned to a specialist, did some research and got the girl away from my husband, and returned him to the family! Now we try not to discuss this misunderstanding, so as not to stir things up and raise a storm once again. I really liked that MYSTIC INFO is an independent magazine and specialists work through the center, and not that single magicians are all charlatans..(all the work cost me 12,000 rubles)

“But most often wives like the author of the letter come to me. They thought they were loved, appreciated, respected, adored, but in the end they got what they deserved.”
By what merit do they receive this, author??

Hello, tell me how can I overcome myself and not get caught in the thought that my wife is not faithful to me? I found out today that she has been corresponding and calling with a colleague for six months, and sent him her intimate photographs, and at the same time categorically denies the fact of betrayal, and said that today everything will be over with him after our scandal. Half a year ago, I saw their correspondence for the first time and categorically forbade communication with this person, which, as it turned out, helped for a couple of weeks, after which they exchanged (as I found out from the details) phone numbers and they called back every half hour all day long. Do you think our family can survive, we have two children, two girls, and here we have a blow in the back after seven years of marriage. I really don’t want to lose her, but the fact that she could cheat with him after these photos kills me

indeed, it is very difficult to forgive betrayal and who could do it very a wise man!

Comment on the article "Cheating on your wife or husband: what to do next? 10 tips"

So it affected me too... Wife and husband. Family relationships. My wife followed all the rules of competent adultery, she even consulted on women’s forums on how to do it so that her husband would not get divorced three months ago. I found out that my wife had an affair seven years ago.

Discussion

What can I say - they usually love such ladies) sometimes the three of them also live together for many years) a male colleague read the eloquent correspondence on his smartphone. Before this, the relationship was simply deteriorating, and then it became clear why. Well, my wife denied everything, saying it was just flirting. Divorced. He foolishly decided to return a few years later. We lived there for 2 weeks and finally realized that nothing was getting better, so I moved back.

The wife is hysterical, the husband is on the verge (he was nursing his wife after an abortion, as she was ill after anesthesia), but for the sake of two children and his beloved, maybe they were virtual on Skype, they masturbated at each other and “entered” virtually. How is the situation now? What do you think you should do next?

Discussion

Sergei, I was in almost the same situation, it’s very difficult and painful, but you hold on, my husband also betrayed me, but if you have children, that’s wonderful, live for them for now, I think that everything will definitely be fine in your life.

The author, judging by the text of the message, is precisely betrayal and for a long time now, the store does not bring a Profit pillow for the opportunity to leave when he sucks to the maximum. Don’t tear your soul, take it for granted that there was betrayal, make sure of this, tell her ok, forgot and hire a detective for another month 99, 9% this will continue.

Section: Wife and husband (I cheated on my husband). She cheated on her husband and somehow felt disgusted in her soul. In general, in short, it’s like this: I’m 38 years old, I’ve been married for a very long time, my husband and I are good emotional relationships, but there is no more passion, and therefore no bright sex.

Discussion

OK it's all over Now. Yours happy life ended. Forever. You will live in suffering. And you will die in misery. Nothing can be done or fixed. Your children will bear the consequences of your abomination.

When I separated from my husband, then for a long time was in a terrible state. Then I began to slowly come to life and decided that I needed an easy relationship without obligations. I also met her on the website: handsome, young, charming, smart - absolutely “my” type. We talked for quite a long time and pleasantly, and when it came to bed, I wanted to run away at that very moment. But I stayed, and then I really regretted it. Formally, everything was up to par, but nothing “for the soul.” And I also felt like I had been spat upon, even though I hadn’t cheated on anyone and was completely free and alone.

Yesterday my wife admitted that she cheated on me twice with different men 5 years ago during our short-term disagreements and that she doesn’t feel guilty at all. Then, she says she didn’t cheat. I doubt this, analyzing the past years.

Discussion

Why do you need to stir up all this? Why suddenly such conversations? Or maybe she made it all up and said it out of anger during a quarrel... Forget it.

After reading the thread, for some reason I got the feeling that everything is simply not all right at the conservatory (in your relationship with your wife): she is somehow quite illogically asking for trouble, as if she wants to open some kind of “abscess”.
Overall, strange behavior for a woman.
For me, we should try to save the family with the child. Here we should dig deeper: why did she do it then, why did she confess now. Try to talk to her, calmly, without attacks, without scaring her with divorce, like: “Maybe I was wrong, pushed you to this?” Explain how it hurts you. It would be good to go to a psychologist.
If she doesn’t make contact: well, that means he’s completely inadequate. Just stupid, arrogant, for whom nothing is “sacred”. What then to do with such a person?
All IMHO

Why do husband and wife cheat? Reasons for change. Treason: is it possible to save the family? If your wife cheats: 4 types of women. Cheating on your husband: what next? Darkness, emptiness, melancholy, hopelessness - this is how people most often define the situation when talking about their husband’s infidelity...

Discussion

Wouldn't you interfere? A? Not everyone who gets cheated on gets divorced. Don't make things worse with your opinion. It's not for you to live with this woman. Therefore, it is not your place to create an atmosphere of social ostracism.

The fact that he will get divorced is understandable. The question is when? and what to do with my son. I used to think that when a family falls apart, men in most cases take the separation from their children calmly. But this is not an option. His son is everything to him. It will be easier financially and physically, but what about psychologically? If you know that the mother is rather indifferent to her son, that the main thing for her is lovers. Some women live and keep cheating fathers for their children, so they are considered heroines. But what should a man do when, in a divorce, there is a 99% chance that the child will be given to her? I know of only one case where children stayed with their father, but it took 3 years legal proceedings and the father’s main argument was that his wife and her lover, while still married, fled to America, leaving the whole family in the dark for a week.
My suspicions arose that my sister-in-law was wandering around 1.5 years ago, after several events. A year ago I shared it with my husband, and he responded to me: It’s not surprising if she tried to “stick me together” at the wedding. I told him so last wedding, where both we and they were - this is their wedding. The answer is, so I tried it on my own.

I cheated on my husband... ... and he found out everything. poking around in ICQ (he says he was cleaning something, actually. If your husband is smart, you won’t stay on your knees. If you really love each other. Cheating on your wife. A situation has arisen that my wife is cheating on me. How did I find out about this, in Or simply ...

Discussion

But for me, what kind of love can there be for your husband if you are with someone else and you like his touch and everything else? It's simple here we're talking about about the fear of being left without a husband. And that's all. Men don't forgive cheating. And then they take revenge. And they torment the wife with questions. Wait, then it starts: how was it for you, did you like it, and is he better than me? This is the road to hell.

Now you can justify a cheating wife by saying, oh, the husband’s potency and character are not right. I think that if a wife cheats, then this is very good. Therefore, she is already and the Question is different, what do you need to change in yourself so that your wife loses desire...

Discussion

The topic is old from 2002, and it’s old in life. There have been and will be betrayals, but I read the comments on these topics and I see how many people write, like there is no attention to us, we are bored, at work all the time (for whom we earn money, for our family) , the penis is not the same size (discovered for some reason after many years), sex once a week, a month, in general there are just excuses and excuses for your beloved.
And on us M. for treason, males, goats, etc.
But you probably run to L. all dressed up, with makeup, with painted nails, wearing beautiful underwear and stockings, so that L. would be stunned and he would get hard on you and get a thrill from this and the sex itself. And at home in a robe (good if it suits you), shaggy, not painted and in bed under the blanket, but they love M not only with their stomach, but also with their eyes, you want to look at her naked, and in beautiful underwear, and not just to the touch under the blanket (not everyone understands there are both financial and housing opportunities). With a lover, it’s so good to say words and shout, you can moan (children and mother-in-law won’t hear from the other room), and you can do whatever you want in bed, because L, as a husband, is not he’ll ask why you like it so much, in a word, liberation. How many of these F’s are there, they don’t give it to their husband this way or don’t do it that way, but with L they’re in isolation. And then, “we don’t have enough attention, there’s not enough sex, we’re bored, poor things, so what’s wrong?” I didn’t have a lot of sex,” and you M are all assholes, you all hang out, so we go for a walk with such well-groomed, made-up, beautiful underwear. And I asked my wife how many times, put on stockings, panties with shoes, etc. all the excuses, no time, no the hunt was tired, but that’s what, the stockings were floating, worn out or broke up with L. probably (I didn’t find a house at all, although I bought more than one, I saw new ones lying around at first, and suddenly they began to disappear, they will appear (after what I said, now new ones are constantly lying on place, is encrypted, and excuses itself in the same way later, the stamp is as before when I asked, but there were no stockings, that’s how I caught it by surprise) And the bruises on the inner thighs are permanent, like I hurt myself, yeah, spread wide feet, “I tripped over the doorframe.” hee-hee, it’s so funny sometimes, he’ll make up something and get confused, and even throw an insult, “What are you talking about ####, because I can’t hit myself, well, on my butt 3 bruises in a row, I accidentally hit someone’s fingers on the bus. Okay, it’s all clear indirect signs blah, a so at least he does it neatly, it’s encrypted well, only during the day, fortunately work allows it. But it’s still very unpleasant, and because of this you don’t want her after someone. He also looks in the back and laughs at how I’m fucking his wife, and he deer, I know, it’s a deer itself, yours is also fried somewhere, don’t worry.
Yes, without concrete evidence, I understand, you can’t get through it, and you need to know for yourself, I’ll find out, I’ll get a divorce. It’s a pity that we’ve been married for 25 years, children, grandchildren, and we’re only 45 and 46 years old. Just don’t blame yourself and the like. I did everything OK for her and the family. And what was she lacking, I don’t know. This is not just my subjective opinion, “If a woman cheated and she likes it, she will definitely continue, no matter how long, but she will continue and I saw everything here reasoning on the lantern. I want more, I liked it, but it’s all because of you Husbands, and we are not to blame, “it’s not my fault.”
Good luck to everyone! He will be happy and loved. Bye.

Hello, what did you do in the end? The situation is identical to yours

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Attention happy marriage certificate holders! British scientists have identified a fundamental pattern: women are programmed to adultery. The oldest editorial woman lover, Alexander MESHKOV, discusses this phenomenon.

Cuckolds! You are legion!

The married couple tensed and frowned: “You’re lying! Mine doesn't change! I know for sure!" Come on, guys, this conclusion was made on the basis of anthropological research in 62 countries. The British predict the first trip to the left four years after the wedding. But even if you still have a couple of years left, don’t flatter yourself. These British are insufferable optimists! Everything will happen first! Be prepared, friends, for this every day! And it doesn’t matter that you are sexually in demand by your wife, that you give her flora, gifts from boutiques and kisses before leaving for work. “Even in happiness, a woman has a tendency to flirt,” said Max Frisch, a writer I deeply respect. And he won't lie.

Female infidelity, as well as the fragility of marriages, is programmed at the DNA level. Although in Lately This is also facilitated by the social situation: poverty, drunkenness, stratification of society, bribery, criminalization of society, prostitution and moral degradation (I feel it in my own example). There used to be fewer divorces. Now this is an epidemic worse than consumption and smallpox. Marriages, oddly enough, based on love, break up more often. A pragmatic approach to marriage is almost guaranteed against breakup. In such reasonable families, they will hush up any scandal so as not to lose their stake.

History will judge

Women from corporate ethics will not agree with me and will start attacking the men: “They spoiled us themselves!” But let's turn to history. The tendency towards polygamy has been inherent in women since prehistoric times. The woman was covered by all the males of the pack. Later, at the dawn of human civilization, there was a spiritual custom: a husband, according to the law of hospitality, was obliged to give up his wife to a tired traveler for the night. After all, a husband covers for his wife, almost every day, he gets tired, but just right for a fresh traveler, he abstained slightly on the way. Helen the Beautiful, because of whom the armed Trojan conflict broke out, was precisely the sweet fruit of such a random connection. King Tyndareus (her father) hospitably allowed a handsome young foreigner to spend the night with his wife, and she immediately got pregnant. Elena was born as beautiful as a stranger, only with breasts. The remaining children of Tyndareus were, if not freaks, then quite ordinary creatures of God. Elena at the age of 12 years with light hand Thesea gave up such a dubious virtue as virginity, and gave birth to Iphigenia from him. And then this fidgety girl successfully married Menelaus and left for Sparta.

If a woman asks...

Somehow the girl with whom I was connected at that moment strong love, called and asked to visit. She was lonely: she had quarreled with her parents, her friend got married, her filling had popped out, she had lost her gold chain, and she also had a runny nose. But that evening I was completely busy and politely declined.

A young man invited me to dinner,” she said then. - Can I go?

I have never seen anything wrong with eating together. I myself ate in the cafeteria more than once with girls and even a couple of times with guys. In the army, we generally ate at the same time as a whole company. I couldn't even imagine that there was anything evil about dinner. The next day we met as if nothing had happened. I didn't even ask about last night's dinner. Forgot. And a month later I found out that that dinner at the restaurant smoothly turned into breakfast in bed.

But why? - I asked confused.

“I was lonely and hurt,” she replied.

And the essence of this betrayal is simple: never deny a girl intimacy, because there will be another one right away. A holy womb is never empty. Lazy shepherds always have enough wolves to eat. Everything in this life can be postponed, my friends, except sex and love! Even spring harvest, launch spaceship, logging, meeting friends, if they are to the detriment of sex!

When? Why? With whom?

The main reason for female infidelity, of course, is unsatisfied sexuality: libido is over the edge, but a real man is not nearby. And if he does, he drinks, he’s such a brute. But often a woman’s betrayal occurs due to her late entry into the fabulous and alluring world of sex. Appetite comes with eating. I want to eat to my heart's content.

Our girls may cheat on us out of revenge. You tell me - I tell you! They will certainly cuckold a workaholic who devotes himself only to work.

A good reason to change is the desire to get a dose of adrenaline. Oh, mommies, what will happen? New partner, secret date, new hands, hot kisses. Oh! What if mine finds out? The wife of one of my friends, a born yogi, loved to persuade his friends to sin in the kitchen while he was meditating. Besides me, the yogi had many more friends. Some came to visit twice a day. Yogi! Be careful with meditation! Beware friends!

According to statistics, most infidelity occurs in work collective. That's where they twist office romances. So why not let him go to work? But an electrician or a plumber can come to your home, as well as a massage therapist, a fitness instructor, home doctor, a friend of the house after all.

A strong-willed female dictator has a better chance of getting someone on her side than a submissive, dumb slave. Down with dictatorship! Wife to the nail!

How more woman we love, the more chances we have to become the owner of branchy horns. Young girls with still unspent sexual energy they are also more likely to cuckold you than an old woman exhausted by everyday life. But the most dangerous age- that's 35 years old. The husband is already fed up with her, and so is she, but he wants a lot of affection and a little orgasm. At 35, my wife is an eye and an eye. In addition, educated wives cheat more often than illiterate fools. Down with education!

Having an uninhibited unmarried girlfriend can also push your wife to cheat. What are they talking about? About football? About the theater? Pipes! Married girlfriends tend to share the joy of shameful pleasures. What causes unhealthy envy in your significant other.

Are there any women who don't cheat? Theoretically - yes. But only because there is no opportunity, no object, no favorable combination of circumstances. Everyone would like to change, but it’s scary.

I can see everything from above, you know that!

Whether your wife is cheating on you or not, guys, you can’t tell by touch. And don't try. I tried - empty! Visually, too, everything seems to be in place. Here you need to become a little bit of a psychologist, psychoanalyst and sex therapist. Attention!

A). Your wife, from a fat-bellied housewife, suddenly became a beautiful model, without her inherent shopping bag, new hairstyle, breasts are puffing up, a feverish look, manicure, pedicure, new panties, fancy bra, butt shaking. All! Feel your head!

B). Denies you intimacy: “My head hurts, I’m tired, leave me alone, tomorrow, the day after tomorrow, I can’t. You smell bad!” Look for a man!

IN). Stays late at work. A lot of work. Yeah! We know this work! You were delayed!

G). On weekends he goes: to a friend’s place, to courses, to fitness, to the library, to the planetarium, to shopping. Yes we know! Let's go fishing ourselves!

D). Expensive trinkets appeared, he brought flowers from work, new, expensive perfume. This is on her salary! Immediately check the closet, balcony and under the bed!

P.S. (My friend! Read it at night, cut it out and frame it on the wall!)

Studies conducted in some developed countries have shown that 11% of children were not born to legal fathers. A woman's chances of getting pregnant from a casual partner are much higher than from a regular partner.

50% of all female infidelities occur during the period of ovulation and the days immediately after menstruation, when she cannot conceive.

Attention! Every 15th child is not only “foreign”, he is also conceived in a situation where the sperm of two men is in the woman’s uterus. One of them - legal husband. And your lover has a better chance of winning! What a joke!

A frantic, curly, muscular laughing lover releases up to 600 million sperm into his new partner, and a hateful bald husband releases only 150 - 300 million. Inside the womb, these sperm begin to fight like Tatars and Russians on the Kulikovo Field. The bulk of sperm are fighters. There are 85% of them. They release venom into the energetic reproductive sperm. They are only 1 percent. A lover always has more “killers” than a husband.

CRIME AND PUNISHMENT

In Judea, treacherous traitors were stoned. In some Asian countries, the death penalty for treason has not yet been abolished. In Africa - Oh! Horror! - cut off the clitoris with a dull knife. Girls! Beware Africans!

And I advise you guys, upon learning about the betrayal, to forgive these weak creatures. You yourself are here and there sometimes, something, something... Okay, I'm joking, of course. Take them to the stables and pour in the lashes! It's not right for us to walk around with horns.