Cruel indifference to former lovers Natasha's story is terrible. It shows how indifference that comes after love can roll like a roller through the fate of a person who was once close to you. The husband left the family, and in order ex-wife it was impossible to live, left her

Indifference An indifferent person is the one who left us alone once and for all. God, surround us with indifferent people! Under any circumstances, they remain undemanding to our shortcomings; they ignore our weaknesses and mistakes; they will never stop us

Indifference and determination An introvert is able to see and understand the internal processes of a person. This unique laser was given to him from birth. And from birth, an introverted nature can sharpen and tune this laser, being interested in information about people,

Why do men hide their feelings and feign complete indifference? Why do they always pretend to be tough guys and try to seem tougher than they really are?

It turned out that they behave In a similar way because they feel they have to do it, especially when dealing with women.

Women often wonder why men take so long to call. For example, a guy takes a girl’s phone number and only calls six days later. Then he asks her out and doesn’t call her for another five days. Meanwhile, the unfortunate girl scratches her head and asks herself: “What does this mean?”

Women often suppress men, so they use defensive tactics of waiting. At the beginning of a relationship, he calculates everything. A man wants to be rational, not emotional, because it is obvious to him that emotionality is a sign of weakness. On Tuesday he says to himself, "I think I'll call her on Thursday." Most men don't even realize that women would rather hear them call on Tuesday.

Why do men do this? They behave this way to “save face” and create the impression that they are in control of the situation. Handsome guy named Stephen amazed me with his wisdom. He said, “As long as you act calmly around a woman, as if you don’t care much about her, everything is fine. But as soon as you show that a woman is important to you, she immediately senses it and begins to treat you completely differently.” That's why men wait and don't call. They feel that women do not respect men who show weakness or vulnerability.

You should not take this behavior personally. Let the man not call for a day or two. Very often, when it seems to you that he does not care about you, in fact the man is giving you an implicit compliment: he wants you so much that he does not want to show it. Other times, men pull back on purpose to see your reaction. They want to know how important they are to you. If you don't believe me, read on. This is what these cunning devils came up with:

1. "Men want women to think they have a ton of girlfriends, when in fact this may not be the case at all. Men exaggerate. They think it will make them more attractive to women."

2. “Yes, men often pretend to be cool. They think that this will make them more attractive to women. I know some guys who don’t date the most beautiful women just to make my real girlfriends nervous."

3. “Men don’t want to admit that a woman controls them. It hurts them to think that a woman means so much to them. We don’t want to lose control over ourselves.”

Attractiveness principle:

At the beginning of a relationship, you should only pay attention to how often a man communicates with you, since he can hide his emotions for quite a long time.

4. “At the beginning of a relationship, I may not call a girl for quite a long time because I don’t want to seem too in love.”

5. "Men are just as emotional as women. They just don't show their feelings because society doesn't encourage them to do so. A man should always control himself."

6. “When a woman acts independent and calm, it scares a man. Women can crush men without even knowing it. What if she just walks away? It scares the living daylights out of a man.”

7. “If a man is truly in love with a woman, he will do his best to pretend that he is indifferent to her. Rare man will fall on his knees in front of the woman and begin to sob."

8. “Of course, men pretend to be cool... They want women to be more interested in them. We want to please women and don’t want to seem weak and in love with them. If you show a woman that you’re in love with her, she will immediately want to drive you under your thumb."

9. “Sometimes at the beginning of a relationship, a man pretends that a woman is indifferent to me. He doesn’t call for a long time to maintain her interest. No guy wants to seem madly in love.”

10. "A man is much more sexually dependent. A woman can control her sexual desires, but they completely own men."

11. "Men behave in ways to attract women. Most men believe that women prefer tough, rude, 'bad' guys."

12. “If you show weakness, you will immediately take advantage of it. Some men believe that as soon as they open up, women will immediately use the information received against them.”

13. “If you let a woman know that you haven’t had a girlfriend in your life for a long time, she will get the impression that you are already desperate and ready to date anyone.”

14. "Women control relationships because they can control their sexual desires. In fact, women have much more greater strength than they think. Many men consider themselves under the thumb of women."

15. "When a man pretends to be cool guy, he wants to impress a woman with his strength and energy. He's just trying to play by the rules. No man wants to be considered mama's boy and a weakling."

Attractiveness principle:

A man treats a woman in the same way as he treats other men. He plays the tough guy because he doesn't want to appear weak or desperate.

Probably nothing hurts a woman’s heart more deeply than indifference on the part of her beloved man. Close relationships go through a series of metamorphoses. In the psychology of relationships, the indifference that a man experiences towards a woman is the last stage.

There are quite a lot of reasons for a drop in the degree of passion. But there is often one reason. A woman’s psychology is such that she subtly senses any change in attitude on the part of a person close to her. No wonder they say that it is impossible to deceive a woman’s intuition.

The first thing that comes to mind is a jealous thought about a rival

But don't rush to conclusions. A man may lose interest in the relationship and become indifferent simply by nature!

Many men are afraid of relationships. They view them as some kind of dependence that limits freedom (from what?). Even when married, they manage to find a loophole and sneak into work or another hobby in order to avoid involvement in the family.

On the contrary, it is common for a woman to strive for a relationship. Don't think that men don't need female attention and care. They just don't notice a lot of things and take a lot of things for granted. Become indifferent for a while - good welcome for a lady to teach a lesson to a presumptuous impudent person.

The main thing is not to overplay. You need to understand that during the courtship period, partners tend to appear with the best side, but a real feeling can really change us for the better, make us become more open to the world and change.

The emotional sphere is subject to dynamics. A union between a man and a woman cannot last for decades if it is based only on emotions. Secret of success long term relationship depends on whether two loved ones can find in their feelings the components of friendship, fidelity to duty and respect.

intimate joy physical intimacy and eroticism initial stage relations certainly plays a decisive role. We have a powerful instinct for procreation. But if a relationship is built only on sex, it is doomed to a quick breakup. Rare, non-regular meetings can help maintain the sharpness of sensations and avoid addiction.

At the same time, it is monotony in sexual life that can make a man lose interest and become indifferent towards you. Don't be afraid to experiment. However, for a long-term relationship, your personal and spiritual qualities are much more important.

The intensity of attraction cannot always be a constant value. Married couples Those who have lived together for a long time know this very well. How do they manage to avoid indifference and cold indifference? To be honest, not everyone.

Psychology interpersonal relationships recommends developing the following qualities:

• Sense of humor
• Personal development
• The ability to forgive
• Excerpt
• Desire to care for another person
• Patience
• Respect (including for yourself)
• Kindness

Another reason why a man can become indifferent is his own unjustified expectations. In the beginning, a girl or woman is always interesting. It’s interesting to listen to her, to seek her attention, it seems that this is very developed personality, and then the relationship comes and a moment occurs when the man understands that this is the most an ordinary girl and there is nothing supernatural about it. Of course, if a man has no feelings for a woman, he will not look for new points of interest. If this is your case, just look for another man who will accept you and love you for who you are. And of course, advice to all ladies - develop, become a pro in your field of interest, find new points of growth. The age of housewives is long gone - remember this.

And the most basic reason for indifference...

If you understand that this is your case, accept it. Talk to your man. If he has no feelings left, you will understand it. Even from a man’s behavior it is clear whether he is interested in a girl or not, because... behind a man's behavior hidden meaning No. If there are no feelings, nothing will help, but you can make a decision for yourself and become happy by breaking the bonds of indifference towards you. Look for new relationships, become better and work on yourself.

Not everyone is worthy of true love, and almost no one is worthy of reciprocal love. In order for this strong and beautiful state to visit you, you must be worthy to accept this gift. A petty soul can only be nourished by passion disguised as love.

Genuine love changes a person, makes him become better (but not always happier). The whole science of psychology and all the “tricks” are useless in this place. A typhoon hits you and God forbid you survive. No wonder they say that love and death go hand in hand.

Love is religion, mysticism, poetry...the secret of the universe. It cannot be calculated. There is no place for tricks and tricks here. This is a sacrament.

But somewhere nearby, hiding eternal companion time – indifference. It is worth making enough efforts not to fall into the trap of this disgusting person. In order not to become indifferent, you must be able to carry this light of love and not let it go out.

Have you felt that your relationship has reached a dead end, that it has exhausted itself? Instead of joy, only irritation and disappointment? Don’t be afraid to break the dull monotony (of course, if you are not bound by serious obligations. If children appear in the marriage, you must strive with all your might to save the family. This has true love). If some doors are closing in front of us, it means that others have opened somewhere.

There are a lot of reasons for this. Perhaps it's a rival. Or your lover has simply grown cold. Or you started to annoy him. Or it’s all due to the persuasion of friends/parents against you. Who knows. The only thing I can advise is to treat him just as coldly. And in this way you will understand how he really feels about you. If this really hooks him, it means that you are still loved, and he does not intend to let you go. If you move further and further away, then you should just try to accept the fact that love, alas, has ended for one of you.

Indifference in a relationship occurs when everything is monotonous. Relationships must be constantly evolving. And if this is not the case, then apathy sets in over time.

There is another option. when one of the partners found another person. Then the relationship with the former partner becomes indifferent. He invests nothing in them and, accordingly, does not want to receive anything, since he has new relationships that need to be developed.

Indifference set in on my part, because I was tired of loving without return, I loved for 4 years, and he only allowed it. But occasionally he said something that made my love continue to smolder, and then he got tired of talking, and I became indifferent.

Indifference in a relationship occurs if love fades, if there is a constant misunderstanding of each other. People exist with each other out of habit. In such situations, you need to break off the relationship and look for new love.

Indifference occurs when you realize that there is no understanding and a relationship that would suit you simply will not work out.

Indifference in a relationship can occur due to a lack of love or due to the fact that one of the partners did not accept the other for who they are, there were inflated expectations and demands, but all this did not come true, disappointment occurred. There may be other reasons; each situation needs to be analyzed separately.

Couple relationships: excitement or indifference?

Couple relationships: excitement or indifference?

Hello, dear readers of the blog zuit.ru! From time to time it is useful not only for women, but also for men to think about a simple question: what is this moment going on between you and your loved one? What if indifference has settled in the family for a long time, and you haven’t noticed it?

Suppose you are currently dating someone, you are having fun or, conversely, bored.

If you both have fun and are very interested in spending time together, everything is fine.

You definitely have a future because you are most likely in love.

When a relationship starts to become a burden, it’s bad, because the person next to you is not your person, he most likely is not suitable for you. Consequently, you will have to look for another life partner.

It’s easy for someone who doesn’t have a family to do this. What should you do if in the last year you began to notice that something is wrong with you or your husband? You may know deep down that the relationship has gone bad. You get upset about this, you may even cry, but you don’t know what to do similar situation and how to change everything for the better.

The simplest thing that almost every husband or wife decides to do is to remain silent and pretend that everything is in order. But this is not right, because the problem is not solved, it is simply hushed up, driven into a corner so that it does not interfere with life. But then, after a while, there will definitely be an explosion of emotions, there will be serious quarrel between spouses.

And it is not known how it will all end. What if the family falls apart simply because you refused to think a little?

Do you understand what I'm talking about? Instead of taking out the problem that has arisen between the spouses, having a heart-to-heart talk, sorting everything out and moving on hand in hand, the man and woman simply remain silent. And everyone stubbornly pretends that nothing bad is happening between them.

Love, if that's it great feeling and your family was built, goes through several stages. Depending on what stage your relationship is at now, you are now happy or sad and constantly worry about your future.

Thoughts that everything has become very bad show the true state of affairs.

The worst thing you can do in such a situation is to play ostrich. You probably know that these birds hide their heads in the sand when in danger. And when such a creature stands in plain sight, its head is somewhere underground, and anyone can grab it. To eat, for example, or to kick, which is more likely.

Maybe this figurative comparison will help you understand your situation. Turn your face to your problem and start changing something before it’s too late. And everything will be fine with you, because you will simply take life into your own hands, and will not watch in horror as everything gradually collapses before your eyes.

Where should you start?

Admit to yourself that Lately between you and your husband everything is not as cloudless as it was before. That is, a problem has arisen in your relationship. Until you admit to yourself that everything has changed, it will be difficult to do anything. The problem must first be identified.

Women tend to think a lot, but men try to immerse themselves in work if they realize that things are not going well. For some reason, it seems to them that being busy in the workplace will solve all the pressing issues that have accumulated in the family.

Men do not understand hints, they have a completely different logic, so the wife will have to take control of this situation and organize her husband.

But it’s not difficult, women are very strong, although they seem fragile and weak. Which, by the way, is what naive representatives of the stronger sex do and easily fall into the clutches of an evil dragon.

First, count how many years you have lived together. Each couple will have their own number, this is important. Because at the very beginning married life A young family has misunderstandings about any matter. This can be easily overcome as long as character development takes place.

But the husband and wife who lived together for a long time, appear serious problems. And if you don’t pay attention to them, the family may even fall apart. Especially when children become adults and leave their parents' home.

Think about whether your life is interesting, how much time do you spend with your spouse? Maybe you are tired of each other because, in fact, you have been living as roommates for a long time? Yes, you have the same living space, the same habits, but you’ve been tired of everything for a long time and it’s just boring to be around.

Even if you have accepted this fact, there is one more thing to determine. What do you do when you're together? Often in the evenings the husband sits in front of the TV or at the computer, while the wife is busy in the kitchen, tidying up, taking care of the children, or chatting on the phone if she is sanguine by nature.

Do you like it? Most likely no. Often people who have a family become lonely and very unhappy at heart. Especially women, because love is the main thing in their lives. A husband, if he does not pay any attention to his soul mate, does not give her gifts and never praises her, begins to evoke conflicting feelings.

For example, irritation or even anger. Quarrels begin in the family, intimate life disappears.

Therefore, something urgently needs to be changed. You just have to first think it over carefully, then talk to your spouse in order to start getting out of the hole in the relationship. If you join hands, you will see the reality of the problem and its possible consequences, everything will work out for you.

And then there are situations when some husbands suddenly find out with horror that their wife is tired of enduring and has decided to start a different life. And it’s too late to change anything.

First, you need to think and answer the question: how much time do you talk every day with your spouse and, most importantly, what do you talk about.

Children, domestic issues and problems at work do not count. The topic of conversation should concern the two of you. Naturally, these are not quarrels and endless determination of who is right and who is wrong.

Directly and honestly pay attention to how many minutes you sit next to each other and look at each other, and not at the TV. What if your husband spends long hours at the computer, sits with his back to you and mumbles something inarticulately, trying to pretend that he is still next to you? (An example of saving such a family is in the article about the biker).

This is understandable because the wife may behave incorrectly.

A man defines self-love in a completely different way than a woman thinks. And if your wife behaves strangely towards him, for example, criticizes, nags and demands help, think about whether you are doing everything right. Be sure to read the article “Wife’s Behavior.”

If you find that everything is bad with your man, do not despair. Start fighting for your family. You need to understand that almost everything depends on the woman. And first of all, the atmosphere in the family.

If a wife gives up and stops loving her husband, all is lost. Therefore, you should never give up. You low self-esteem? We need to work on our fears from the past and change some habits. Stop berating yourself and your husband because it won't help.

On the contrary, start loving yourself, admire your man, tell him about it, and he will instantly change. Approval in your eyes and praise will help turn the direction in which the relationship began to move. And you will no longer hide from each other in different rooms.

You will again want to communicate, discuss something and spend time together. Just as it was before, in the first years after the wedding.

If you now think that nothing will work out for you, first try to find out what your spouse thinks about this. As soon as you begin to understand your relationship, each of you will discover an amazing thing: you actually don’t know anything about each other. Why?

You have changed over the past few years, you can admit that. But you definitely won’t guess what happened to your husband, what he thinks and feels. However, he knows practically nothing about you.

And you yourself hardly told him about this, because who wants to talk about negative things? The easiest way is to hide them and pretend to be a happy person.

You need to be happy, not pretend. Of course, life is a theater, but you don’t have to play a role that you don’t like just to look good from the outside.

Life is yours, you live it the way you chose. Many spouses play their roles, they diligently pretend to each other that everything is normal. But they are afraid to show real feelings, pain, suffering and disappointment.

Take off the mask that you've been tired of for a long time, throw it away, start figuring it out. If there is nothing to talk about, and this may also be the case, come up with something new. Don't sit at home on weekends. You can always go somewhere together, you just need to make a plan in advance.

You should have something in common, besides living space, children and boring habits.

Habits need to be changed, although it is difficult. They will cling to you like burrs.

But who is stronger: you or your habits? Of course, such actions will require some courage from you, but you can handle it.

Well, if you make a plan for the next weekend, you will need to go somewhere you haven't been before. Just the two of us, no children or friends. Then you will have new memories, you won’t have to dig into the past and go through it, remembering how good it was for you there.

What do you both need now? New adventures, some interesting events in life, a passion for something that you were afraid to even think about.

It will be something special for every couple. In a metropolis, you can go out into nature or to the nearest town to explore it, wander the streets and drink coffee.

If you live in a village, go to the city. You just have to make a plan for the whole day in advance, take a walk, go to a museum, a cafe, and get home late in the evening. The main thing is to do everything together. Because now you simply need these new experiences if you want to revive your relationship and make it even more passionate than it was many years ago.

If you still don’t decide to do anything, indifference will destroy everything, it will eat up not only the present, but also your future together. But when you realize how great you are together, it will inspire both of you. And love, it's beautiful and strong feeling, will come back to you again and bring happiness.

Your husband will look into your bottomless eyes again and realize that he is ready to do anything for this woman who agreed to become his wife many years ago.

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Indifference

Indifference is a state of apathy towards the world around us, people, phenomena, events, an unwillingness to participate in changing one’s own life for the better, and a lack of concern for other people.

"I don't care. This doesn't concern me. This doesn't interest me. Leave me alone. Do not bother me. " Each of us has heard or uttered such phrases. The person wants to be left alone, he doesn't want anything to do with certain people or events, he is not concerned or interested in anything. There are many manifestations of indifference.

In a relationship

Indifference in marriage is enough common occurrence. One of the spouses reproaches the other for indifference. The feelings they once had for each other have been swallowed up by routine. Everyday life. Both partners have come to terms with this and continue to live together only out of habit.

A relationship between partners with mutual indifference and without the desire to change anything is considered hopeless. In this case, it is necessary not to concentrate on yourself, but to talk with your partner. Perhaps it's better for you to break up.

As a rule, a person is very painful when he feels that he is causing his partner boredom and indifference, that he has become completely uninteresting to him. However, over time, feelings dull, the pain goes away and only indifference remains. Indifference to a partner often develops into an attitude towards other people that negatively affects a person’s entire life and his relationships with others.

Many young people are characterized by a certain form of indifference, which is often confused with maturity. Many people believe that a real man must be “tough”, not show his feelings, so as not to seem weak. Therefore, sometimes young people put on a kind of mask of indifference.

Indifference and indifference to work is quite common. A person becomes uninterested in his work, as a result of which he copes worse with his responsibilities and, of course, there can no longer be any talk of climbing the ladder. career ladder. In this case Negative consequences indifference manifests itself faster and more acutely than in personal life, because today not a single employer will put up with an uninterested employee who does not support good relations with a team that constantly makes mistakes.

The consequences of human passivity in political and social sphere very sad, because in this case any important question other people who have a specific interest decide. IN last years The consequences of an indifferent attitude towards the destruction of nature are increasingly felt.

The consequences of parents' indifferent attitude towards their children are especially severe. If parents are indifferent to their own children who need their love and attention, then over time the children begin to behave aggressively. It’s even worse if the children resign themselves and become indifferent and apathetic to everything.

Often, indifference is a kind of defense that protects a person from stress. If a person has been repeatedly rejected or insulted, he tries to avoid such negative emotions. Wanting to protect yourself, a person often completely unconsciously begins to feign indifference. However, over time, a problem arises because indifference and indifference often become internal state person. Sometimes observed severe cases indifferent attitude towards others and oneself. The reasons for this attitude may be mental retardation, prolonged painful attraction to medicines, drug addiction, alcoholism, and mental illness(for example, some forms of psychopathy). Short-term and treatable forms of indifferent and apathetic behavior often occur after shock and severe stress(for example, death loved one), especially in children as a result of violence from parents, lack of affection and love.

In case of painful indifference, depending on the cause, psychotherapy, as well as special services, can help psychological assistance. In addition, every indifferent person should frankly ask himself how he would feel if other people were also indifferent to him. Human life is impossible without love, attention and care; realizing this, it is impossible to remain indifferent.

Every representative of the fair sex wants to be loved. It seems that there is a person suitable for the role of a life partner, but something in your relationship is alarming. All the initiative comes from you, you try to please your loved one, but in response you come across manifestations of feelings that are not what you expect. Men who are lazy by nature often do not want to change anything in life, even if they date or live with an unloved woman.

If you think that you will feel calmer when you recognize indifference in a relationship, watch your loved one for a while. His behavior, gestures, words will reveal the sincerity of his intentions.

The main signs of an indifferent attitude of the chosen one

1. He is not interested in your life. loving person He will always be glad to hear about what is important to you: what experiences you have, your range of interests and hobbies. For an indifferent person, all stories about problems at work, childhood incidents and memories will only irritate.

2. Forgets or refuses to please you. This applies to everything. From the reluctance to buy you a cup of coffee in the morning to selfish behavior in intimate life. He always thinks only about own desires and pleasure, forgetting about the needs of his passion. A very indicative sign that makes you immediately think.

3. Doesn't miss you at all. This is easy to determine. A lover, even some time after parting, dials his beloved’s number and is sincerely glad to hear his native voice. Or he’s in a hurry to a meeting and may arrive earlier. A man’s indifference speaks for itself - when meeting or talking after a long separation, he behaves as if you had never separated at all or he had already become tired of you.

4. Gives you far from the first roles in life. Instead of spending time together (not necessarily holding hands and looking into each other’s eyes), a man comes up with other things - goes to football or a bar with friends, plays computer games, watches TV endlessly. If such manifestations are not systematic and do not take away everything free time, which he could spend with you - everything is normal. If it’s the other way around, it’s an alarm.

5. Hides his life. He doesn’t want to let you get too close to him: meeting his parents and friends is constantly postponed due to ridiculous excuses. Does not want to talk about the events of his past at all. You know little about him, as he tries not to reveal anything about his tastes, family, studies or work. There are two options: either your chosen one is a secret agent, or he is simply indifferent to your opinion.

6. Constantly looks away. A man, indifferent to his companion, does not strive to look into her eyes, occasionally and indifferently looks as if through her. He prefers to be distracted by all sorts of trifles, looking at the table or cracks in the ceiling, rather than looking at you. People avoid looking a person in the eyes if they are hiding something. In this case - your insincere attitude.

7. Doesn’t like to be photographed or stored together joint photos. Even if a man is not a sentimental idealist in relationships, he will want to have several photos that can remind him of his beloved. The person experiencing indifference seems to be ashamed to keep the photographs, declaring that only sensitive romantics do this.

Now count how many points correspond to your lover's behavior. If it’s about half, or even more, draw your own conclusions. If you continue to flatter yourself with the hope that perhaps this state of affairs will change, take a reasonable look at it feminine wisdom. Even if it is possible to re-educate a man, it will take a lot of time. Would you agree to wait until you are old? That he will finally begin to pay attention to you and become inflamed with feelings? Or do you want harmonious relations with a person who loves and respects you today? It's up to you to decide...