I love my husband. I'm pregnant now, but not by him. I "flew" from another man. I didn't know this could happen to me! It is useless to say that I am shocked by myself, since this does not justify me.

I can imagine what a flurry of condemnations will fall on me now! What to do? I can imagine what would happen if I told about everything in reality, and not here.

From personal life

We got married. For three years I asked him to have a baby. And for three years I heard only excuses. He said that he needed to defend himself (he studied in graduate school). He said that he needed to find a good job. So, I patiently waited.

At work, I had to pass a medical examination. And of course ..., not without a gynecologist. He told me that I urgently need to give birth, otherwise I may be childless. How it frightened me! It was pounding, as if in a fever ... from fright. I called Anton, told everything. He replied that we would talk when I got home.

She came home, but did not find her beloved. He left for the library. And I began to wait again. Formulated the words that came to mind. Even on a piece of paper torn from a notebook, she wrote notes to say everything. Well, it's clear that I wouldn't say everything. It’s easier for me to splash out thoughts on paper! And then there is some relief in the soul.

She waited until midnight. He came. But to put it mildly, very drunk ... He said that something was noted there and he forgot that I was waiting for him. He asked for forgiveness and went to bed. And I cried all night, meeting the dawn not with smiles, but with tears! I decided to talk in the morning while he was drinking coffee. But he said he was in a hurry, kissed me and said that we would talk in the evening.

I didn't have to wait for the evening. I watched my favorite show, took a bath, went to the store. Decided to vacuum the apartment. I just turned on the vacuum cleaner - I heard the "sound" of SMS. I turned it off and started reading.

Reading: “Sorry…. The child is of no use to us now. He will only interfere with us. Let's make plans - let's talk. You must understand me!

I collapsed onto my favorite couch and cried non-stop. Twenty minutes later my classmate called. He hasn't called me in four months. I said that I felt bad and he was with me in fifteen minutes. Cake, flowers, champagne, soft toy…. He wanted to cheer me up and make me happy. Happened! And somehow I didn’t think about the fact that my husband could return at any minute. I felt good. The champagne made it even better.

I felt some detachment from my husband

You can guess for yourself how everything was then and what exactly happened. I do not regret. But a friend later said that we had sex with him out of pity, to calm me down. Didn't get upset. For me, this sex also meant little, because I perceived him only as a super-friend. He left. Said he would call. I was lucky my husband didn't come back. I assumed that he would return by midnight and did not lose.

Everything worked out for us, because I didn’t say anything more about children. And then…. Then it turned out that I was pregnant. But not from her husband, of course. And what should I do? Should I tell him everything? Does it all make sense? What do you say?

The girls responded to the situation and sent their feedback

Karina Pelenskaya (24 years old):

And what to say? Your husband is to blame for what you did. I understand that this is not an excuse! But he did worse to you than you did to him. Here you can watch for yourself (tell or not tell). I don't know how I would personally do it. And speaking at random is nonsense.

Tatyana Preskuryakova (18 years old):

Tell the whole truth! Let him feel his guilt! I do not condemn your action. And he will understand. Only if he is smart and if he loves. If he reacts badly - leave and do not regret!

Ekaterina Kuchinskaya (23 years old):

I would tell the father of the child everything. By the way, do you think that you would have succeeded with him? Don't you think that he could become a wonderful husband to you? I would tell him everything. And with the "beloved" said goodbye. He doesn't deserve you! You can not see?

Victoria Zubrik (26 years old):

To be honest, it's worth it. To avoid causing any trouble. But do as you please. You don't have to listen to advice. Let them pass by if they seem “unprofitable” to you. Your life is your life.

Svetlana Rogovtseva (20 years old):

Are you sure that the father of the child is your classmate? If yes, tell him everything. You can’t be together, but he definitely won’t refuse you advice. And with someone like your "m3man", I would completely stop talking! Damn prince! So humiliate... Being so selfish... Yes! There are some, I know. But you don't deserve that!

Margarita Kamenyuk (28 years old):

Cool "fly". Sadly, everything turned out. But you saved yourself like a woman. You wanted to have time to feel motherhood. Therefore, I do not condemn treason. Vice versa! Good girl. True, not one hundred percent, but we will not talk about percentages. You are good, sincere. I sympathize with the fact that you came across a person who is not at all like you in your qualities. Well, future daddy needs to be told everything. What to do with your husband? Divorce! He will remain so. And you "Forget it and forget it!"

Do not miss. . .

What to do, if -

Is there love? -

Cheating in a relationship

What to do if the wife cheated and got pregnant

A man's life is full various problems and complexities. Some are easy to solve, others require time and resources. But there is only one thing that can unsettle even the most courageous and strong - the betrayal of his beloved wife.

Situation with female infidelity for a man is a whole rebus. First, a man begins to feel misunderstood by his wife. Then he begins to suspect her of infidelity. If this fact is confirmed, he begins to look for excuses for his wife. He starts to delve into himself and the situation comes to a complete dead end.

What do men do after their wife cheats

Oddly enough, men quite often forgive their wives, and blame themselves for infidelity for their inattention to their wife. They believe that their wives were forced to cheat, as they were hostages of the situation. And this is all because of husbands who are busy at work, cold in relationships and boring in bed. But this is complete nonsense, since any adequate woman will first make every effort to save her relationship, and if nothing comes of it, she will file for divorce. And there is no need to look for any excuses in the betrayal of his wife.

But there are situations where wives show complete disrespect, disregard for their husband. This is a situation where she has unprotected sex with another man and gets pregnant by him.

If the wife is pregnant by another

It is impossible to imagine what state you are in now if this article describes your situation. You need to do a few difficult decisions and if possible do not listen to your wife. Remember that if the wife became pregnant from another man, then she did not particularly worry about her health. Thus, by staying true to your family, you could catch any venereal disease. Your wife didn't care about herself or you at all. Is it reasonable to stay with such a woman, you choose. Remember: men make mistakes too, but objective reasons the consequences are not so serious.

Some men forgive their wives, force them to have an abortion, and then for the rest of their lives are afraid to have their own children. They begin to suspect their wife of a new betrayal and consider the children to be strangers. This situation has an extremely serious impact on the health of men and psychological state children.

But most often the truth comes out when it's too late to have an abortion. Few men find a way to forgive their wives and accept a child as if it were their own. Men make these decisions when they are madly in love with their wives and believe in the power of forgiveness. But not every woman deserves mercy, not everyone can improve and change. But in any case, the decision is yours: to accept such an act of your wife, or is it a reason to end your relationship and find another woman.

You should take into account that when a child appears, you will be tormented by the thought that you are not his father. Every day you will see proof of your wife's betrayal, every day you will remember this situation. This situation can put an end to your health and peace of mind. But there is still time to prepare and think things through. It doesn't make the decision any easier, but you're not alone, many men have been through this. Remember: you always have a rational decision, do not fall into a rage and do something that you will regret later.

How to treat a cheating wife

As for your wife, she is a real egoist. If she does not leave you, then she expects that, despite the betrayal and betrayal, you will support both her and her child. Either this is complete disrespect for you, or it is her lack of intelligence. If this is the first child and nothing else binds you, then you must absolutely be out of your mind to stay with this woman, no matter how much you love her.

Also, do not confuse situations. Currently, there are quite a lot of marriages where a man or woman already has a child. IN this case You accept this fact and support your wife and child. The difference lies in the fact that there is no betrayal on the part of a woman.

Men are most burdened not by the material component, but by the spiritual. Therefore, your decision after the betrayal of his wife should be pragmatic and cold. And most often it will be a divorce, rather than a happy family life.

In conclusion, I would like to say that, according to statistics, a fairly large number of men are raising other people's children. There is nothing wrong with accepting someone else's child and treating him as if he were his own. In this case, the issue of respect and understanding is more of a concern. Can you trust your wife after that? The answer to this question will give the best solution.

I got married a month ago. My husband and I have known each other for a long time, but rarely talked. We met a couple of months ago common company We started talking and realized that we have a lot in common. We began to communicate daily, walked and spent a lot of time together. After a couple of dates, they realized that they fell in love with each other, and applied to the registry office.

Before I met my future husband, I periodically met with my ex-boyfriend, and after the husband appeared, she stopped. I recently found out that I was pregnant, I hoped that it was from my husband, but all calculations indicate that he is not the father of the child in terms of timing. To my ex young man I didn't say that because I don't want to be with him anyway. I am ashamed, although I understand that all this happened by accident. The abdomen is not yet visible, no one knows about the pregnancy. My husband suits me with everything, and I don’t want to part with him, but I think if he finds out that I’m pregnant from another, he will leave me. I don’t want to tell him, I don’t know how he will take it, and I want to give birth to a child from my husband.

While the term is early, I am thinking of having an abortion, but I am very afraid that in the future I will not be able to have children. I won’t be able to lie to my husband that this is his child, then I will regret all my life that I ruined his life and the life of the baby.

Now I don't know how to do it right. Leave the child and lie to her husband all his life or get rid of the child?

Olga Son, psychologist:

“To admit it as it is is not a lie. It would be a lie to have an abortion or to claim a child as their common. This is not only a test of relationships for love, but also for trust.

In this situation, the happiness is that it happens at the very beginning of the relationship, when there are no ten years behind life together and common children. You must make a decision for yourself, weighing all the consequences.

You need to ask yourself if you can forgive yourself for an abortion, because living with guilt destroys both the mental and physical health. Are you ready to hide the truth from your husband - this is a betrayal of him and yourself, and, most likely, you will be haunted by guilt. Consider whether you are ready to tell the truth and be able to survive the loss of a loved one, and then forgive yourself for this act.

If you decide to have an abortion, then you will need to make every effort to forgive yourself for this act, to accept it as a mistake.

Otherwise, if you do not forgive yourself for this, then you will be gnawed by guilt, and, hating yourself for your misconduct, in the future you may “block” the appearance of the following children.

True love is all-forgiving. If future husband refuses you and leaves, then it will be for the best.

Maria Weiss, sexologist:

- Such a truth can destroy even the strongest and most loving relationship. But a lie in love never saves relationships, but only destroys them.

In my opinion, there is no situation that a loving and beloved person could not accept and forgive. No matter what happens, no matter what offense you commit, a loved one needs to admit it.

If the truth is capable of destroying relationships, maybe then you should not save them with lies?

The first thing you need to do in this situation is to stop panicking and accept that you alone cannot handle this. In this situation, the fate of other people depends on your decision. Without consulting with your husband, you do not have the right to decide whether to get rid of the child or not. This is a serious act, and you need to understand that later this can affect not only your physical health, but also your psychological state.

Don't carry a secret with you. Try to find support in the family, relatives, mothers. Share your feelings with them, tell them that you are afraid for the future, for the reaction of your husband, feel confusion, insecurity and uncertainty. Support loved one can give you great power as well as alleviate your suffering and pain.

Remember that with your lies you deprive yourself of peace later life, deprive the child of a real father, and deprive the husband of the choice: to love or not to love. Think if you can live a lie constant fear revelations or with the fact that they took the life of their child.

In my opinion, it is better to confess everything to your husband, and then act according to the situation. If your husband truly loves you, he will help and support you. Your fear is not groundless, there is no guarantee that after your truth, he will decide to stay with you. You need to be ready for a divorce on his initiative and raise the child on your own.

Another option is also possible, if you decide to keep the child and your husband supports you, then the two of you can raise this child. Also, you should not hide your pregnancy from your lover, you will need to talk to him, since he is the real father.

Think carefully about whether you will create new problems for yourself by solving this one in the direction of lying or abortion.

Hello, my name is Julia, I am 31 years old, married for 11 years. There are two children. About a year and a half ago, I met another man and began to live for the whole year and a half, forgetting about my family. I did not want to divorce my husband and do not want to. Now I am pregnant from my lover, but I no longer want to live with my lover, but I want to return to my family. My husband forgave me and is ready to raise the child as his own. I constantly began to have quarrels with my lover because of the child. Lover abuses alcohol permanent job does not, and I know that I have no "future" with him. But the lover wants this child. Now I don't know what to do in this situation. On moral principles, I should divorce my husband, but I do not want this. The lover pulls me to him, and at the same time, the husband also pulls me to him. I ask you to help me understand the current situation and how to act correctly.

Julia1986

Julia1986, hello! I'm sorry you are faced with this choice. Let's work together to figure out what's best for you and your baby.
Do you and your husband get along? What are your feelings for him? Why did you take a lover a year ago?
Who do your 2 children live with?

Why do you think that now moral principles"You must divorce your husband if neither you nor your husband want to divorce? Who obliges you to divorce?

My husband and I have mutual understanding. He even sympathizes with me and in every possible way offers help in solving this problem. I do not understand what I have for him, but I know one thing he is very dear to me. I think I got a lover for a simple reason, my husband and I felt cold, everything became ordinary, many problems associated with my parents accumulated, and then new feelings appeared and I forgot about everything with him. And now I understand that it’s impossible to run away from problems and fate, it’s just that now there’s more more problems which are now difficult to resolve.
Children live in our apartment with my husband, but for half a year now I can say I live with my husband and children together, but sometimes I go to my lover (he won’t let me go and I don’t understand why I’m drawn to him). I realize and want to return to the family for half a year, but I just can’t decide. Divorce is required of me by my lover and his family.

Julia1986

Julia 1986, you and your husband want to save the family. You and your husband have been together for a long time, he loves you and he is also dear to you. You have common children. Have you ever been infatuated with another man in pursuit of thrills, but they have already calmed down and realized that it is better to save the family, and not create problems for themselves and others. You live with your children and husband. The husband is ready to accept your future baby and raise him with you as his own. A reliable and loving husband, who didn’t leave you either and took care of the children while you spent time with your lover.
Your lover is a drunk man and out of work. It will not support you or your children. For the sake of you, for a year and a half, he did not stop drinking and did not find a permanent job - that is, he will not take care of you, and all his words that he needs this child remain only words - neither you are pregnant and nursing, nor the child he is unable to contain. Raising a baby in the daily neighborhood of a drinking and essentially unemployed person is dooming your child to suffering and creating conditions for him to develop an unhealthy attitude towards alcohol over time.

So what do you choose - to raise your baby in a family and with loving husband who has proven his devotion and reliability, which is dear to you, or go to a drunkard who does not care about your problems and who is only ready to have fun with you, but he will not take care and provide for you and the child?
If your lover wants to take care of his baby - let him pay alimony and visit him, take care of him with you. You don't have to live under the same roof every day to do this. Have you considered this option with him?

oh my... SHOCK.
I would be surprised how much the wind blew it

would never decide. he must solve this problem himself. if it was treason, then there's talk about further relations it can’t be, but if we started dating after he slept with someone there, and then found out that he was flying there, then it’s already more difficult.

Why did he have to think of something? Is this the only option for you? If you think well with your head, you will understand that we all once kissed others ... and why not live now?

And if he already saw you well, then he shouldn’t have reacted at all - this is a completely ordinary situation.

what just doesn't happen...

everything will be OK

MAIN SIGNS OF PREGNANCY

The peculiarity and significance of early signs of pregnancy.

SIGNS OF PREGNANCY should be known to every girl who is sexually active. Noticing the signs of pregnancy in the early stages, a woman will be able to either decide whether to continue or terminate the pregnancy. Knowing the main signs of pregnancy, you need to see a doctor as soon as possible. An early visit to the doctor, in any case, will be beneficial. future mommy will be able to avoid many problems associated with the onset of pregnancy and understand for himself what is a sign of pregnancy, i.e. the norm, and what condition requires urgent medical care. Signs of pregnancy in a woman in the early stages are subjective, that is, they are present in one woman and not in another. So, let's move on to the description of the main signs of pregnancy.

Delayed onset of menstruation main feature pregnancy.

In order to notice this as early as possible early sign pregnancy, you should always carefully monitor your menstrual cycle. Every woman who is responsible for her health has a special calendar in which she notes her critical days. But not always a delay in menstruation refers to signs of pregnancy in the early stages. Irregular menstruation is observed in many women. There can be a lot of reasons for this - starting with hypothermia and nervous work, and ending with serious hormonal disorders.

Let's try to briefly consider the physiology of this sign of pregnancy. Starting from puberty, from the age of 12-14, girls bleed from the vagina every month. Without such a "trouble" pregnancy would be impossible. Teens' first periods are often irregular. In the first year or two after menarche (first menstruation) is normal phenomenon, but later with this problem you should consult a doctor. A normal menstrual cycle consists of 28 to 35 days. Shortening or lengthening it should also not go unnoticed.

Some are absolutely healthy women there are violations menstrual cycle. Without knowing the exact duration of your cycle, it will be difficult to notice the signs of pregnancy in yourself.

Raise basal body temperature as a sign of early pregnancy.

Many women at least once in their lives are faced with the need to measure basal temperature. The main purpose of measurements is to determine the day of ovulation, i.e. the period when conception is most likely. It is necessary to measure the basal temperature every day, starting from the 5th-6th day of the menstrual cycle. Sudden jump in the direction of increasing basal temperature, indicates ovulation. Some ladies even use this method as a form of contraception. It's not particularly reliable though. An increase in basal temperature during the period of delayed menstruation can be regarded as one of the signs of pregnancy.

So, if you are experiencing some signs of pregnancy, then try measuring your basal body temperature. The basal temperature in the rectum is measured using an ordinary thermometer. Required condition- it is necessary to measure it in the morning, immediately after waking up, without getting out of bed. If the thermometer shows a temperature of 37 degrees and above, then there is every reason to suspect one of the signs of pregnancy.

Increased frequency of urination relative sign pregnancy.

So, you observe a delay in menstruation and an increase in basal temperature - the main signs of pregnancy. It's been 1-2 weeks now and still no period. But the urge to urinate became very frequent. If you do not have cystitis, then this is a sign of early pregnancy. Every day, the woman's uterus increases in volume more and more and begins to put pressure on the bladder, as a result of which the woman begins to want to go to the toilet "in a small way" more often. Besides, hormonal background changes in the body, and this can also cause more frequent urges to urination.

So, how to distinguish cystitis from frequent urination as a sign of pregnancy? Cystitis is an inflammation of the mucous membrane Bladder. Cystitis mainly worries women of childbearing age. The reason for its occurrence is getting into genitourinary system pathogens bacterial infection. And this is most often the result of hypothermia. Since with hypothermia, the body, especially not hardened, is much more difficult to fight any infections.

Cystitis has a main difference from the physiologically caused increase in urination, that is, the usual sign of pregnancy. This is a pain during urination and aching pain in the lumbar region. An accurate diagnosis can be made by taking general analysis urine. By the way, in pregnant women, exacerbations of cystitis occur twice as often as in women who are not expecting a baby.

Nausea and vomiting are one of the signs of early pregnancy.

Many women, precisely on this basis of pregnancy, begin to suspect that they will soon become a mother. Indeed, toxicosis for expectant mothers is a common thing. Interestingly, the exact causes of toxicosis have not yet been elucidated. There are three main theories. The first is that intoxication occurs in the body of the expectant mother. And in such a simple way the body tries to get rid of harmful substances. The second theory is that a woman’s body reacts in this way to a “foreign body”, that is, to a fetus. And the third theory of the occurrence of toxicosis is psychological. Some researchers believe that toxicosis occurs more often in women who are not psychologically ready to become a mother. But be that as it may, toxicosis has been and remains one of the main signs of early pregnancy.

But sometimes, unfortunately, women take poisoning for toxicosis and intestinal infection. Cases of so-called psychological toxicosis are not uncommon. That is, a woman notices signs of a non-existent pregnancy. This often happens in women who for a long time pregnancy does not occur; or those who, like fire, are afraid of pregnancy. Noticing the delay in the onset of menstruation, they are so immersed in an imaginary "pregnant" state that they actually begin to feel the presence of signs of pregnancy. Although in fact there is no pregnancy.

Pain in the lumbar region and lower abdomen as a sign of pregnancy.

Indeed, some women in the early stages observed this sign pregnancy. But more often such pains are caused by strong physical exertion or exacerbation of cystitis (inflammation of the mucous membrane of the bladder), or pyelonephritis (kidney disease). Lower back pain can be not only a sign of early pregnancy, but also a symptom of a threatened miscarriage (threatened miscarriage). The same can be said about pain in the lower abdomen. If this is regarded as a sign of pregnancy, then most likely there is a threat of its interruption.

Unpleasant sensations in the mammary glands are a sign of early pregnancy.

Breast engorgement is familiar to many women. Especially often this malaise occurs in the last week of the menstrual cycle. The most common cause is mastopathy - a disease of the mammary glands that accompanies most women. young age and middle aged. But breast engorgement is also one of the signs of pregnancy. From the very beginning of pregnancy, the mammary glands of a woman begin to prepare for lactation ( breastfeeding), and the woman feels it as sore breasts. Often to unpleasant sensations in the mammary glands, discharge from the nipples “joins” yellowish color. It's colostrum. If a woman is in a position, then this should be regarded as a sign of pregnancy; if not, then such a condition may require consultation with a mammologist.

Increased appetite - important feature pregnancy.

A pregnant woman should eat for two. Probably every woman knows about it. Although this is not entirely correct. A pregnant woman should consume more vital nutrients and vitamins - it's true. For signs of pregnancy early term can be attributed to increased appetite in women. Thus, her body is trying to make up for the deficiency of nutrients necessary for the normal bearing and development of the child.

Unusual fatigue is a sign of pregnancy.

The exact nature of this phenomenon is not clear. But it should be assumed that this is due to hormonal changes woman's body. In addition, subconsciously, a woman who has noticed signs of pregnancy in herself tries to protect herself and her baby to the maximum from possible negative, damaging factors. Thus female body trying to protect himself. During pregnancy, a lot of effort is expended on the pregnancy itself, and then physical exercise! So, all the familiar signs of pregnancy protect future mother and her baby.

Aaa Uurrrraaa Finally toooo How romantic to tell him about it..so so so.mm where is my phone to please my mother.. . Ahh, tomorrow I'll go to the store with my girlfriend to look at children's wallpapers

at least 10 days after conception (if I'm not mistaken)